Category: By Raphael Awen

Premise 6: Healing Of Both The Heart And Soul Are Crucial

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By Raphael Awen

premisesix

Welcome to day six of the SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour. Please go here to read all of the previous premises and they are all here on my timeline too.

Today, I’m afraid we begin in earnest sailing into some rough waters and it won’t be an easy task. I assure you, there will be no loss of life, but there will be loss of connection I fear, and quite possibly some very deep rooted anger.

I still feel it will be magical and I’ll tell you why…..right after I give you today’s premise called the ‘Heart and Soul Consciousness Premise.’

“Consciousness awakening and healing of both the heart and the soul congestions are crucial for SoulFullHeartenment, development of the SoulFullHeart Self, and for intimacy with Self, Others, and The Divine.”

Whenever we make claim about any path and choose that path, we are choosing distinction and separation. ‘I did it my way’ is our double-edged sword of growth this life. We all need to individuate, but none of us wants to lose love and connection. None of us wants rejection. No parts me of like being rejected.

We may be metaphysically all One, but practically and experientially speaking, we have individual paths to take in our path to individuation. I feel that while Oneness and individuation are magically and paradoxically both true, they are also loaded with a deep antagonism and fear. These powerful energies, while normally seen as negative, are actually a gift to us to discover new depths of stuff that are off our chart and only now beginning to be seeded into wider collective consciousness.

Therein is the magic I speak of.

Let me take a step here into my own individuation, as well as this fearful antagonistic ground I speak of. I personally believe I have something to offer packaged and labeled in something called SoulFullHeart, that even people who self identify as ’emotionally mature’ or ‘spiritually attained’ haven’t yet dreamed of, let alone seen or felt the territory of. I choose my words as carefully as I can to say this, but my individuation would be dis-served to say it any softer than that. Saying it any softer would not be my truth.

If my statement above begins to stir some anger in you, I get it. My words can be felt as degrading to a sense of yourself that a part of you holds dearly as true. I am saying there is something more, and you haven’t seen it yet.

I could be wrong, and would actually welcome being wrong, but I don’t feel I am. It’s been deeply lonely to parts of me and a total back and forth path to continually rise to my own truth, while it has also been deeply fulfilling.

If my words of personal claim do stir anger, please hang in with me, without suppressing any of it for my sake. Let’s see where it wants to take us today. We are co-creating this ride.

Possibly it is this strange reality itself, that individuation occurs in a container of our inseparable Oneness, that offers us our greatest gift as well as our deepest challenge.

Where did we ever get the idea, that we would get anywhere by all being in cookie cutter agreement with each other? That can’t even be rightly called child’s play, for children make no pretence around ‘getting along’ in this false way. We’re going to need to go to the heart of our differences if we are ever going to find the heart of our union.

The key point and claim that SoulFullHeart offers in this premise is that collectively we have not yet had a spiritual practice or healing modality that accesses heart and soul wounding to the degree that subpersonal access and the SoulFullHeart Way of life does. This statement could be technically wrong if a healing modality has arisen that I simply don’t know about that equals or supersedes what SoulFullHeart offers, but it is a true statement of my truth to the best of my current knowledge.

This strong of a statement has the power to either make you mad or glad. Some, well rooted in their identity would find this claim preposterous and totally narcissistic. Others, who feel they have tried everything and all but given up, and only willing to lift a finger to something that feels real, and passes their bullshit detector are rising in a hope of possibility about now.

Here is our point of anger and separation. Here we are left to go our own way. Here, our choice creates for us our sacred path. What is intimacy, without Divorce? Both are sacred, as infinite love expressions out seeking to know itself.

SoulFullHeart teaches, and it is my personal experience, that the magical key into our spring-loaded essence is through the door of our heart and soul wounding. That which was seemingly meant for your destruction and pain, and so extremely avoided, is in reality, the portal to your greatest fulfillment.

We are so predisposed in our spiritual practices to do the opposite where healing is about the goal of no longer feeling pain. We want to do anything but feel, when the truth is, only as we are willing to feel, can we ever truly heal.

As long as symptom abatement is enough and qualifies as healing for you, my truth is that you cannot enter the ground of the infinite largesse of your being. You are energetically sealed off from your bigness, and a part of you has it wired up this way for deep and understandable reasons.

This premise goes on to speak of ‘SoulFullHeartenment’ and ‘The SoulFullHeart Self.’ Both of these terms are terms we simply made up to carry a new energy that we want to distinguish from other terms. The term ‘SoulFullHeart Self’ has a lot of resonance for instance with the way the term ‘Authentic Self’ is used, but there are significant energetic and emotional differences sufficient that we felt a new term was warranted for the new energies we are bringing.

I said more in the first few premises about the specifics of what we mean by our chosen terms of SoulFullHeart and SoulFullHeartenment and the SoulFullHeart Self and I refer you there for that clarity. The pieces about intimacy with self, others and the Divine are coming up in the next three coming premises. I invite you to stay tuned for those.

About now, given that I am advocating for something radically new and labeled as such, I am feeling the tension of, on one hand, standing for my truth while not using that as a defense to vulnerable relationship, and the tension on the other hand of not claiming my truth in the hopes of maintaining my relationships with others, and ending up with nothing of true value. Isn’t this the crucible we all have to face in the journey to individuation in a container of Oneness?

I am eternally grateful to have people in my life, some of those I am called to enter intimacy with, others I am called to differentiate from and they provide the grist of separation which my growth requires. In the end, I am you, and you are me. But claiming that, as a way to avoid our personal differentiation makes only for a way to stay stuck rather than grow. It doesn’t actually work that well in the end because the universe is wired only for growth. It’s ultimately only a matter of rate and pace that your soul is ready for and wants.

This anger we felt stir earlier……is it still here? Has it shifted?

I trust it. I trust it wants to sort us out and help us find our way. I deeply want to find the resonant souls who deeply want to join with us on a very specific and even exclusive path. (What path, if it is in fact a path, is not exclusive?) I also want for those not in resonance to be on their sacred way. Hence our anger found its way, didn’t it, to our mutual path of individuation while being inseparably one?

Thank you for reading, and more so for feeling this riding and being in on this tour. I look forward to your comments and reactions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Premise 5: God Is Everything And Everyone

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godsurrenderBy Raphael Awen

Welcome to Day 5 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour’ for the awakening heart and soul.

This is a tour of the 21 Premises that make up the emotional and spiritual consciousness expansion work called SoulFullHeart. It’s an opportunity to find out what’s at core of this work, and to feel how that resonates with what’s at your core, or doesn’t. You can read all of my writing on our premises here.

If this is your first day, jump in, and again, welcome. Pick a seat that looks like it has your name on it. I see several that you might like. 🙂
In the four days we’ve already toured, we’ve covered some really important stuff, but you can jump in here, and you’ll know if your drawn or not to go back and read those days.

Today’s premise is called the God Premise. And it goes like this:

“God/The Divine is everything and everyone; each of us is an expression of It with no being any higher than any other. Realization of our God self expression is the ultimate goal of our life and incarnational cycles.”

Possibly nothing is as life shaping as ones’ God picture. We all have one, and no one has any absolute truth on it. Claiming absolute truth only makes you an absolute fool in my view as only a fool can’t see his own lens with which he looks at all of life, thereby rendering any absolute truth he may be looking at, subjective.

This is my current God-picture. It may well change and when it does, I’ll be the first to admit that. I feel this picture more than I believe it. Like everything else I’m saying in this tour, none of it is more than ‘near as I can tell.’ It feels real to me. It is what is moving through me currently as in an electrical energy current.
Let’s take a look at it.

Like we said the other day, everything is energy, and here we’re saying it a little differently. Everything is energy, and all this energy is God. There is nothing outside of God. Even the so-called arch-enemies of the Divine are all within the Divine. All energy is also love’s energy.

This God energy lives in every cell of your being, in every thought, desire, joy, and sorrow. You cannot become any more ‘God’ than you already are in the sense of your essence. Essentially, you are as ‘God as it gets.’ Experientially, however, you and I have a long road ahead of us, as this God-love energy is Infinite. It doesn’t have a beginning or ending, so actually the word ‘long’ in this case is a silly word, so forget I said, that if you can.

I’m liking the idea though of a never ending love journey without a destination. It’s admittedly a bit hard to grasp, but plenty of fun trying.

How about this next piece? No one or no thing is any higher than the other. Whether Hitler or Mother Theresa, all are equal expressions of God in some way that I don’t care much to explain as much as I care to feel it. God (good) and Devil (evil) are all part of God. Both provide contrast and duality as part of God out seeking to explore its Infinity. A never-ending task, but one with many both joyous and painful discoveries.

Much like you actually. Shadow and light both. Joy and sorrow both. Love and hatred both. Until we come to terms with our God picture, we cannot come to terms with a self picture that does us any good.
Leaning on seeing yourself as only a love and light being makes for a really tiring and ungrounded spirituality, as well as making you essentially non-human, uninteresting actually, and without a way to grow. It takes light and darkness to grow.

God is both.

Realization then is this manifesting in awareness what you are. This awareness shift then real-izes one step further shifting and changing its expression in matter. As what you actually are in essence remains unrealized in your day-to-day expression, it is just that, not yet real on your experiential level, even though it is true on your essential level.

This awareness expansion that births essence into experience is the underlying everything in the universe, continually redefining what even the universe actually is.

It’s a vast unknown picture, and our attempts to describe and define it must continually return back to a reverence for Its unknowableness.

I’ve enjoyed a relationship with my beloved Jelelle for eight years and I feel how much, on one level, I have no clue what I’m doing or what I’m in.

That feeling is the awareness expansion. It’s knowing you don’t know that leads to more knowing that leads to more reverence of not knowing. Voila, never ending. (Want a boost in your sex life, try that on for size.)

Whatever is real underneath the often debated idea of incarnational cycles, I see it as simply your soul essence in this never ending God realization. Our ideas of past, present, and future seem to have infiltrated our ideas of past, present, and future lives. Some feel we may in reality be living all of our lives simultaneously in parallel universes. I suspect something like that to be more accurate than our time-illusion-based picture that comes from our current collective consciousness. All I can say about that is get ready for sudden changes here because we are in epic times of consciousness expansion, both collectively and personally.

As you shift in consciousness, you shift unmistakably in the energy frequency you broadcast at and receive at. You become unrecognizable to yourself as you see yourself as ultimately part of the unknowable. You are so NOT John Doe who lives here and does such and such for a living. My God, what pathetic attempts at self description we’ve come up with in the face of our infinite unknowableness!

All of this is a process. I feel that there isn’t a single moment when you ‘pop’ into some place of full enlightenment. Scratch the surface on any community espousing those instantaneous enlightenment pictures and you’ll find all manner of abuse underneath the lie.

You’ll have many pops as you go. I hope you’re having one now. Many manageable and self-loving nervous breakdowns as you leave and enter new virgin territory.

That is my picture of an alive human. And all of nature resounds with it. You don’t need to believe it. Believing is mental. You can feel it with your heart.

Well, how did this tour land in you today? I invite your commenting and connecting.

Jelelle’s Comment: I didn’t grow up with God…in a religious sense, no sunday trips to church, or prayers over the dinner table. Yet, the Divine was always in my heart and in my soul…I found It in nature, I found It in expanded consciousness experiences in my 20s, I found It eventually in the form of a beloved Divine Mother and also Divine Father energy…..and eventually I found It in Oneness and All That Is in tastes of experiences.

My connection with the Divine has deepened over the years and been quite personal in certain phases when I needed that and more universal when that was what I needed. I feel god forms to what we need in the ways that we need It. I have long felt that each of us a spark from the heart of the Divine or a fragment of the Divine expressing as a human being with none of us being any ‘higher’ than any other, even if we are in different phases of our soul consciousness evolution.

There can be much that blocks our felt sense of ourselves as a God spark and a visceral, personal experience of the Divine. These blocks need love, can be healed and when felt, move. Different teachers, different paths, different phases….same destination of reunion with the Divine.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise 4: You Are Made Up Of Many Subpersonalities Doing Life As A Singular “I”

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By Raphael Awen

innerchild

Today’s going to be a main course day and a look at an amazing parallel universe. Welcome to day four of the 21 Day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today’s premise is not only going to challenge traditional spiritualities and therapies, but a lot of modern ones as well. I say that up front in the hope that that draws you in rather than scares you off.

Eleven years ago now, I was at a place where I felt clearly done and bewildered with every spirituality I had ever encountered. I simply could not stomach the levels of denial and pretence that were inherent in the cultures I had been exposed to. This led to a deep search and ultimately to the creation of SoulFullHeart.

SoulFullHeart is a full meal and today’s premise takes us to the main course. I invite you to feel this premise deeply to feel if it is for you. All of the other premises are in support of today’s premise.

I’m really hungry to find those of you this resonates with and to help you cross over into this parallel universe. It’s simply too good to keep to myself, and I want the feeling of it expanding out into others hearts and lives. I feel clearly that what I’m sharing with you today is ahead of what any other spiritual and emotional healing practices have to offer. I know those words can sound superiorizing, but they are my truth. I would be dishonest to hide my conviction from you. Again, it is my hope that my claim excites you more than distances you.

However, I acknowledge that what I’m offering certainly won’t be welcomed by everyone and I feel that my outspoken clarity on what I feel SoulFullHeart is, does help people to sort out for themselves early on if they are drawn or not. I feel an urgency and I want to serve it. All that said, I’m really glad to have your interest, your inquiry, and your hearts desire finding its way. I sincerely hope you find my conviction about SoulFullHeart inviting rather than distancing. I deeply need and want others in my life.

Let’s dive into today’s premise.

Premise four is called the ‘Parts Reality Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Rather than just one singular “I” in charge of life, SoulFullHeart offers that we are made up of many parts or subpersonalities (both those in outed expression and those in shadow) formed primarily through undigested traumas that can be integrated and healed into an authentic, sacred human self called the SoulFullHeart Self.”

Jelelle and I have recently written a full article on this premise and I feel to refer you to that article for the complete teaching about the SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process here.

I will go on then to speak here in this post to my personal life change since embracing this premise.

Let me see if I can feel back to the ‘I’ that led my life 11 years ago and channel his voice from that time:

“I feel myself to be really well adjusted to life and way happier than most people. I fell myself engaged, growing and in many ways content. I look for the life lessons in my problems and welcome the change that even crisis brings. I’m a family man in a long-term committed and fulfilling relationship. People around me look up to me in many ways, and rightly so, I do have a lot to offer.”

That was how one part of me, who was a deep outed expression of my life, saw and related to my life.

Now, let me see if I can channel the voice of another very different part of me also present at the same time and feel the contrast. This voice was way more subconscious and was only found through keen desire and choice, and the aid of a subpersonality facilitator and a process.

“Life totally sucks. There is no reason to live. Nothing ever works out. I hate God for putting me through this. It just fucking hurts like hell when I feel it, and then all there is, is to feel it some more. Life is so boring. People are so uninteresting, but then who am I to talk. I just want to fucking end this shit.”

What a surprise it was to find both of these voices were true inside of me, and the relationship they had to one another. One was very much outed and one was very much suppressed, but they were in a deep dance with one another, with no other me to show up for either of them to shift or mediate their realities.

When I got around more conscious people, my positive and outed personality leading my life had a tinny ring to it and was off-putting to them as inauthentic. When I hung around people who felt less conscious, this version of myself leading my ‘me show’ was well liked and even applauded.

It wasn’t actually until a few years prior to this time in my life that I had any conscious feeling of depression or grief in my life. I related respectfully to others who were depressed, but simply had no reference point for it in my awareness. I looked into some natural medication and went to a few counselling sessions, but mostly I was helped and relieved by taking it easier on myself, not hiding what I was going through, even finding some deep tears over an un-grieved loss of a romance from a relationship 19 years prior. “Okay, survived that pretty well, I’d say, I even feel more opened out to life, to smell the roses so to speak,” was again the voice of this part of me doing life as me.

That, however, did not touch what was really buried inside of me inside of my subconscious and in the shadow of my soul. In actuality, it served to bury it further. The ‘I’ leading my personality expression in life was a deeply strategic energy, seeking to gain what it knew as love and approval, and avoid rejection. This version of me was very busy doing everything it could to keep other subconscious parts of me from derailing the whole deal he had worked so hard to establish and maintain.

I know your story specifics are different than mine, but my truth is that the polarities inside of you are very, very similar.

I went on in my process to become deeply familiar with parts of myself……one, two, or even three parts at a time who held deep feelings of hurt, anxiety, rage, depression, control and shame, and then deeper to find deep core unworthiness and deep core disconnect. Maybe me naming these tones right now itself produces rumble in you calling you from your own vast, but unexplored being.

Given this dynamic, that all of us are made up of many subpersonalities, and each one of them is in a kind of suffering of their own, affecting every relationship to everything in your life….what could be of any more value than finding healing for each of them?
Left with our parts unexplored and unhealed, how much truly real and authentic expression are we even capable of? What is the tone of the love we seek and the love we give? What are the relational dynamics governing our romantic bonds, our relationship with our careers, with what we relate to as the divine, or God. The questing questions run deep.

You are in essence an authentic self, as you’ve seen and felt tastes and glimpses of in when you feel most like ‘yourself’ or ‘at your best’. But this authentic self, or what we call the SoulFullHeart Self, remains largely un-manifest in daily life and relationship transaction to the degree that parts of you remain in unadjusted suffering, whether in their dungeons or ivory towers. It’s all suffering.

SoulFullHeart offers a grounded way to support you to undertake an ongoing healing journey into this community of yourself and that then extends into a like-minded conscious community of others sharing the same path.

It’s hard to put into words the difference I feel inside of myself since I began the parts process path over a decade ago. I sometimes use the words that ‘you become in many ways unrecognizable to yourself’ as you deconstruct the many strategies held by parts of you to keep life safe. That feels very true to me today, and it never stops. You see, parts of me keeping life safe also closed me off from love in deep energetic gravitational pulls to keep the suffering in place. Parts of me were using suffering to stay stuck.

I’m gonna pause here for today and invite your questions. This is a lot to digest. If you’d like, I welcome your PM, or your questions in the comments below. And, again, this article on our website is very helpful for providing more teaching about the parts process.

And here are Jelelle’s, who is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart, comments about parts work:

Oh, wow, what can I say about parts or subpersonality healing? Between what you offer of your own experience, Raphael, and our article, a lot of ground is covered. The main feeling I have in the moment is complete and utter gratitude for having this tool brought to me in my life at a time, over 11 years ago, when so needed it. I KNOW that I would not be experiencing life in the tones of joy, magic, love, intimacy etc. that I do without it. The amazing thing is how natural it has been for me to identify voices and energies and tones in myself and then create a relationship with them.

And, in my experience, it is easy and natural for most people. I like to say that I have seen an eight year old identify parts of themselves and an 80 year old with the same level of ease….it is beyond age, beyond cultures and seems to be a universally human development that has been offered in psychology to some degree for 100 years. Seeing and using it as also a tool in spiritual awakening and enlightenment is the newer, cutting edge aspect, but then everything was ‘new’ and ‘cutting edge’ once!

Just this morning, I was meeting with a facilitant, feeling a new part of her emerging (that we call the Daemon or soul guardian), and once again, even all these years later after doing this work for years and serving others in it for years, I was struck anew by the absolute magic of it as she got to feel something in herself that she had NEVER known was there yet it was so TRUE to who she is at the same time. The access to your inner world, both in the heart and soul domains, that you get is so immediate and effective..without drugs, without hypnosis….ok, this brings up a lot of passion in me. I feel like it is THE missing piece in so many ways and once people get a taste of it, they usually feel the same way.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise 3: Going Beyond The Body-Mind Reality

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By Raphael Awen

premisethree

Welcome aboard day three of the SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises tour.

We only have two days sailing behind us and already it feels like so much more. Jump right in though if this is your first day, you can complete the circuit when and if you want to anytime.

A sightseeing tour is a really good analogy for what we’re doing together in these 21 days.

SoulFullHeart is a way of life and I’m offering 21 scenic tour vistas seen through each of our premises allowing you to essentially window shop to see if this truly warrants any more of your time, attention, or money.

There’s no charge to take this tour, but to actually enter and experience the territories we’ll be looking at each day will undoubtedly cost you. If your heart is truly hungry and ready, the cost will be something joyous, even as it is also sorrowful at times. But, it’s only at the point of buying something from someone that the real transaction or exchange occurs. Don’t mistake browsing for buying. Choice and transaction in this way with the resource of your choosing is no different than in the material world.

So here’s the third SoulFullHeart premise called the Nature Of Reality Premise:

“SoulFullHeart invites you to be open to a different picture than the body-mind reality, which is that everything is made up of energy; time/space/money are illusionary; everything is sourced from Infinite Love; and our innate nature is both dual and nondual.”

This premise if we are able to open it out together today will be nothing short of mind blowing.

Like setting out on a whale watching tour, there is no guarantee of actually seeing any whales and many days a whale watching tour must settle for being a ‘whale looking’ tour. I honour that what we see together will be a combined effort of what you and I choose to see, intend to see and are ready to see. It’s a co-created reality.

However, we have something big in our favour. We’re going to be looking at the idea of consciousness expansion today, and to do that, we’ll need an expanding consciousness just to get in the door. Consciousness itself likes being taken in and noticed. It’s like feeling the whales under the boat reluctant to surface until they can sense your reverence, respect, and awe, but when they do, watch the splendour unfold.

In this way, we draw this out together. I’m not responsible alone to put on any show. We do it together if there’s enough trust and desire between us, as well as resonance with what is. I feel part of me rest as I say that, and it felt both important to say as well as a portent of things to come in the rest of this tour together.

Now that we’ve got our seats, let’s dig in.

This premise begins with an invitation and that’s important because we are all grounded in a current way of seeing the world. The invitation is to look at another way of seeing the world, but of course, we can only do that through the lens we have. We can’t shatter this current lens in order to pop on a new one, and nor should we, we’d blow all of our circuits. It’s an invitation to see as much as you can and to then trust that what you were able to see was perfect, and that you were changed just by the act of truly looking. It’s an ongoing and never ending process because we actually live in an infinite reality picture.

Let’s talk now about the body-mind reality. ‘Body-mind’ is, in the way I’m referencing it today, a way of relating to life, that in turn ‘creates’ your world. Body-mind is seeing the world through the five sense reality only of sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. ‘It’s real as long as I can sense it with the five senses’ is the powerful reality shaping mantra. Now, I know that isn’t your mantra or you wouldn’t be drawn here, but it is so deeply embedded in the world you were raised in, and the world you live in, every day, day in and day out. Body-mind reality has a powerful energetic pull that can be described as a gravitational pull that holds an order of things and an entire crystal clear cosmology out in front of you.

Money doesn’t grow on trees. It’s the results that count. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And on and on the sayings go. They form part of the outlying edges or borders of this perceived reality. If you are a more porous individual, you even add in some esoterics into the picture to make it bearable, but you have yet to actually ever escape the power of this matrix.

Body-mind in its essence is a wave form frequency of a specific bandwidth. As we are energy, as we’ll explore further today, we are totally susceptible to the frequencies we currently have dialed in on our receivers, and then we go on to rebroadcast those same frequencies contributing to the strength of the body-mind collective-consciousness reality. Now, to use another metaphor, it’s no longer us that is online doing the browsing, but rather the prevailing collective consciousness, or the computer itself that is doing the browsing. We are now essentially controlled around all the things that really matter with just enough free choice to keep the blinders in place. ‘Would you like fries with that?’ It’s now a false projected reality that we are co-creating because create is what we do. It’s what we are.

Everything around us is energy in motion, a frequency band manifesting as what we see and experience as matter. It isn’t real as we’ve understood five sense reality, and, at the same time, it is real on another plane, but it’s real reality can only be seen through a new lens that is the new plane.

Let’s look at money to help us grok this. Money isn’t real. It’s a thing we co-created collectively and is only real because of our agreement around it that we reinforce every day by our relationship and interaction with it. Money is actually nothing more than a means of exchanging value, or energy, or ultimately love. But it seems so crazy real! My focus on money, my need for money, my future money, my lack of money, and on and on. ‘I must secure the money, and then I will consider what other things I want in life’ is the energy that holds so many people. Money in this way is possibly the most powerful prison-forming matrix ‘thing’ that holds us in its clutches all of our days. And it’s nothing but energy!

Money is energy. I am energy. You are energy. Energy always flows. All the things you like and don’t like about your life are energy flows. The computer you are looking at and the chair you are sitting on are nothing more than energy manifesting in a specific form true as ever to the frequency they broadcast at.

Money as real from within the five sense reality is an illusionary reality. If you want to break the powerful hold money has upon your life, you must recognize that it isn’t money itself, but rather how you see money, or more accurately, the lens with which you are looking at money, specifically the body-mind.

Time is also another powerful illusion. The ‘realities’ of past, present, and future are held together by our collective body-mind reality-creating relationship to time. How cool would it be to flip the table here and instead see that time itself is the illusion and we get to use that illusion of time to our benefit. Healing anyone?

Space is another one. As energy, we are essentially living in a holographic projection that energy is creating giving us the magical illusion of space. It’s like going to the movies, except you ARE the movie.

If you’re like me, you are feeling really itchy about now. You can smell something big, but you can’t grasp as much of it as you want to. These are things to be lived into. The conditioned world doesn’t give way in a moment…..we instead live our way in a discovery process, that again, has no ending or destination, just like the Isness from where we come.

Here the saying ‘It’s not the destination that counts, but the journey’ needs to be revised to something like ‘ultimately, there is nothing but the journey, forget any destination other than simply being on the journey.’

This so resonates with us all, every last one of us, every last expression of energy ALL being God. Yes, including evil. It’s all Infinite Love out seeking to know itself in an infinitely unknowable reality.

All is Infinite Love expressing as infinite possibility, and nothing else matters.

Now, we see how we are both, like God, rooted in both duality and non-duality. We are playing with the duality in things like more or less money, things we prefer and don’t prefer, health is better than sickness, etc., all as a dance of Infinite Love energy that wants to come to know itself in all of its infinitely possible expressions.

When I feel all of this, my sense of the distance I’ve covered in my growth or my healing, though important to a part of me who still needs and relates to some form of measurement, gives way to the silliness of trying to measure anything in an infinite picture. 1/2 of infinity is still infinite.

And that is why I can resonate and be nourished with someone who is simply on the same path, regardless of their progress on the path. It’s sharing the same infinite path, me where all progress is immeasurable. The path affords us a processing and transactional ground for our relationship. Outside of the path, however, our frequencies have nothing but static. I can and do love the person not on my path, but I don’t attempt to transact very far with that person.

That’s already true for every relationship you and I currently have. It’s the resonant frequency band that literally holds it together.
Change the frequency and you change everything.

Okay, that’s enough for today, isn’t it? Talking about infinity can go on forever.

I want to close today by welcoming your inquiry into how The SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process and I can serve your healing process. If you are a man, I would so love to be in an energy exchange with you providing we both resonate with each other. And if you are a woman, my beloved Jelelle would love to connect with you around beginning the process. Check out our sessions page for more info, and let’s simply get on Skype together to talk about it. Tell me what’s real for you.

I also welcome and deeply take to heart any donation you feel to give in support of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can find our donate button on our home page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com. Nothing gets my attention quite like an email from PayPal, saying ‘You’ve got money.’ 🙂

Until tomorrow and day 4, be well in your unfolding journey. And remember, there is nothing to count, there is only journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise 2: Mature the ego and experience Oneness

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

soulfullheartenment

Welcome to day two of our 21 day Magical Mystery Tour of the SoulFullHeart Premises. Today promises to be a big day in premises as we’re exploring our second premise.

‘Why are you offering premises, though?’ you may ask.

Every spiritual or healing practice is premised upon a specific worldview about the nature of things. This worldview dictates what happens and how it happens or doesn’t. It may seem like a mental engagement at first, but for those with a keen eye and heart for what they really want and need, nothing sorts out a choice point like considering the premises of a given healing offering.

When premises are not clearly laid out and available for all participants to consider as they get involved with a group, it all too often leaves them falling prey to conforming to the groups identity out of a codependent and understandable need to belong, rather than choosing to be a part of a community because it lights up your heart and soul growth like no other.

If you’ve been deeply involved in a group or community in the past that failed as a community or simply failed to hold your interest and engagement, I invite you to weigh every single SoulFullHeart premise in these 21 days together and ask yourself, ‘If I ever did join back in with a group again, what would they need to embody for me to get involved?’

SoulFullHeart may not end up being your choice or even what’s right for you, but you will have moved your souls healing path hugely forward by giving your attention to the importance of premises. Premises are what the foundation is to the house.

Ready to go?

Here is the second SoulFullHeart premise:

“SoulFullHeartenment is an awakening state of consciousness involving the paradoxical processes of individuation or ego maturation while healing the illusion of the separate self leading to a deepening sense of union with self, others, and God/The Divine.”

Another mouthful, right? Let’s sort it out and I think you’ll get from this what you are meant to. These are pregnant words carrying a lot of energy and you can have very different experiences of them at different moments. Likewise, me putting more words around them can go in different directions on different days.

Let’s start with the word ‘SoulFullHeartenment.’ We made up this word to carry an energy specific to the result of undergoing the SoulFullHeart healing process. SoulFullHeart is a path of simultaneously healing both soul and heart wounding, or as Jelelle likes to say, ‘healing from our roots and our wings.’ One is not preferred over the other nor is one used to minimize the other.

We feel that where heart wounding is not adequately explored and healed, all of our exploration into soul domains and non-dual states, or simply a healing therapy, are largely a medicative reality for the untouched heart wounding. However, where the personhood ground of the heart is explored and healed, the doorways into soul domains and non-dual awakening are far more natural and effortless portals into our authentic self expression.

‘SoulFullHeart-enment’ then is this place of never ending movement into ever deepening human expressions of our essence as Infinite Love, in both heart and soul frequencies. It’s not a state of attainment, but more likened to living in a parallel universe where it’s your native place of residence from the moment of choosing this inclusive path. All claims of ‘progress’ are surrendered to simply not having any way of measuring anything in an infinite reality. Progress, for what it’s worth, is simply being on the path.

It’s much like trying to describe to others a totally mind blowing sexual experience. It’s obviously new to you, and has you all aglow, but try as you may, there’s no way to quantify what you had. All you can do is claim ‘more than’ in comparison to what you had before. It seems to be one of the few areas that a government bureaucracy hasn’t ever been able to regulate, measure, and tax because it is so immeasurable and so uncontrollable.

Let’s go on now to this piece about ‘an awakening state of consciousness.’ We see that when souls enter a human life, they are largely surrendering to falling asleep and mostly forgetting their true identity and their intentions for their soul healing mission in a given life. It is this ‘having our hands tied behind our back’ in relation to our awakening that calls us from our very depths to forge a deep resolve and choice sufficient to cast off our pre-chosen slumber.

Many are not meant (from their own sovereignty) to awaken this life and instead are working their healing path through staying asleep. One is of no more intrinsic value than the other, and both are God expressions. If you are a soul that has chosen to awaken this life, you are enabled to do this by way of comparative difference, and choosing amongst options and your personal power to act on those choices. It is in this very real human drama setting that your epic healing story occurs.

This awakening consciousness unfolding has a powerful paradox, however, at its root, and two at first seemingly ‘at odds’ vectors. In SoulFullHeart’s picture, they are powerfully, perfectly and inextricably one.

One is your path of individuation. This is the path of coming to terms with being a distinct and defined self, an embodied sovereign human, with boundaries and power to decide, decree, and declare what goes on and doesn’t go on within your borders. And you can’t do any of that without an ego. Ego is seen simply as your centre of awareness and there are no judgments against the ego as being the source of all suffering and pain as taught in so many spiritual practices and traditions.

We feel rather that it is about what our egos are currently attached to, and the relative health or unhealthy nature of those ego attachments that are at issue. However, to remove the ego is to render a person non existent. The premise that ‘self is bad’ is the underground root conviction of these teachings, stemming from undiscovered and unhealed unworthiness at the core of the personal and collective being. You can’t express or have experience as a human without ego and without a persona to conduct life. Some face has to show up for the party.

Doesn’t that all by itself just take a ton of pressure off in relation to all the bullshit you had heaped on you about trying to rid yourself of ego?

Now, if your ego is currently attached to Nascar, beer and high fives, you and I aren’t going to have much ego resonance, but rest assured, you’ll be able to find plenty of others with all the ego resonance you need to find enough community and work your healing path in the way that you are, regardless of my judgments about the unconscious nature of your journey.

I’ll have to take my judgments, along with my ego and be on my way seeking resonance around what my ego is currently attached to. And when we’re all said and done, there will be plenty of time to debrief and compare notes with one another and, I’m sure, both learn from each other, over a beer even.

But, it’s about maturing the ego, not obliterating the ego.

You are an individual. The definition of that word contains a deep explanation of how we see the self. In-divi-dual translates out to ‘a duality (dual nature or two-ness) that cannot be divided. You are an inseparable expression of both being utterly distinct and indistinct from everyone else around you. Both are true and it’s only when both are seen and held as true that a healthy relationship with life can unfold inside of you.

All the goodies of individuation are yours, like sex and buying shoes and having a personality. So are all the goodies of being all wrapped up in Oneness, utterly inseparable from All That Is. You already are completely non-dual awakened in this way with the only thing you are working on is becoming more and more conscious of this preexisting fact regarding the true nature of your being. And you don’t have to kill the ego to attain anything.

Forget attainment……It’s tiring and the source of a ton of suffering, control, and superiorizing. Instead, if you need work at something, do like Jesus said and ‘labour to enter into rest’….do your own personal healing that will allow you to let in the spring-loaded essence that you already are, but is yet unmanifest in daily expression.

So, where does all of this take you, then? It takes you to ever deepening union with self, others and the Divine. Union with all of self begins in SoulFullHeart as the crucial getting to know, feeling and healing of our subpersonalities, who hold our this life and past life wounding. This leads the way to true and alive relationality with others and the Divine….all of which are paradoxically one and inseparable from the self at the same time. A relationship by definition requires an other to relate with. It’s a bit crazy making to begin to feel into, that we are both ‘other’ and ‘not other’ simultaneously, but ultimately it is the path to true sanity, because it is in alignment with What Is.

Trying to describe this in words is like the difference in sex between genital friction, as in the clinical word ‘coitus’, compared to a heart, soul and total body having a connection that is so deeply a personal and a transpersonal experience at the same time, where the afterglow goes into infinity and words fall hopelessly short of description.

We are wired in our essence to fire on these cylinders in all the dimensions of our being. We use the phrase ‘Self, Others, and The Divine’ a lot to highlight the essential growth tracks of our relationality. Our personal relationality is founded on the interrelationship of self, other and the Divine. We separate what cannot be separated in order to provide a relational space in order to come back to the utter Oneness and inseparability that we are.
Pretty cool, huh?

I know today’s premise discussion opens out a lot of questions about things we touched on today like subpersonalities, the nature of reality, God, dual and nondual, etc., and I wanted to let you know that these are all coming up as separate premises right around the corner.

Thank you for being on day two of this tour. See you tomorrow sometime after sun up for day three.

I’d really like to know you are on board for this journey, so I welcome your comments and questions.

Please visit our website at soulfullheartwayoflife.com for a listing of all the premises and more information.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise 1: SoulFullHeart is an integrated, holistic way of life

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

01-consciousnessBy Raphael Awen

Would you like to join me for a 21 day magical mystery tour of the heart and soul?

I’m going to be writing, posting, and hosting a daily blog here on this blog and on my facebook page on each of the 21 premises for the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, the consciousness awakening and healing process that Jelelle Awen and I have co-created and offered facilitation in since 2012. Each day, I will share and elaborate on one of the SoulFullHeart Premises for which this process is based on with Jelelle’s input and editing as well. You can read all of the premises here.

The trip begins now. All you need to join is curiosity, desire, and, of course, choice…….no different than any other journey you’ve ever taken, right? If you have those things, I promise you that this trip will be a trip of a lifetime.

All of our premises are held with a ‘near as we can tell’ energy. None of it is absolute truth or written in stone. While we are passionate about each one of these premises, we also recognize that passion must also give way to the never-ending constant of change. As we live out each premise, we subject it to the rigors of what works and what doesn’t, in real time relationship, and allow ourselves to be changed in the process.

If you are good to go, then, let’s depart right now. This is day 1 and there’s 20 more to come.

The first premise is called the SoulFullHeart Premise, and it goes like this:

“SoulFullHeart is an integrated, holistic way of life, beyond a therapeutic or spiritual practice or religion, which leads to what we call SoulFullHeartenment.”

SoulFullHeart is a name that, in one way, we simply made up. In another way, it was and is a divinely guided and inspired name that was given to us to carry the energy and consciousness of something truly unique. It represents something that we had never encountered outside of ourselves. In its integration and holism, it doesn’t recognize any valid boundary between personal and professional or from who we are in our various relationships in life. One essence holds all of our various expressions.

There is also no real compartmentalizations between any of life’s key areas or expressions. SoulFullHeart currently sees seven key areas of life as follows:
1. Emotional
2. Spiritual
3. Mental
4. Social
5. Physical
6. Financial
7. Environmental

It’s not an authoritative listing as much as it is a way to feel into areas most people lack integration in. We look at and feel each area separately to feel how our leading edge (soul gifts, potential, authentic self) or our trailing edge (emotional wounding, soul blocks) currently expresses in any given area. While we look at each area separately, we acknowledge that none of them can actually be separated, though most people do work hard to maintain illusions of these as compartments in their lives.

That one area of our life could lack or express abundance more than another area is evidence of a lack of integration/integrity and wholeness. True integrity is where we come from a single ground inside of ourselves and is only possible as we heal and integrate. This ground will have many different expressions, but more and more, coming from a single source. In this way we recognize that integrity is not a moral or character attainment, but rather a purity of expressing from one seat of being. This journey of returning to Oneness is a practice that’s never done, always deepening and unfolding in a myriad of expressions due to our Infinite Love nature.

SoulFullHeart is also a way of life. Every one of us has a way of life, but few of us are very conscious about the way of life that governs so much of who we are and how we express in the world and within relationships. Fewer still have a carefully chosen way of life and the lack of this conscious choice leaves them essentially playing someone else’s life.

SoulFullHeart – through discovery, definition and advocacy – seeks to bring into awareness what actually makes for healthier and more integrated expressions of our essence as Infinite Love expressing in every day life. We seek to do that in an ever deepening, arising, collaborative way. We honour the feminine expression of feeling rather than mentalizing or seeking power over others through proving or convincing, or trying to change others. In this way, it seeks to be a collectively held and self-validating arising of ones own inner truth expressed out through living it into expression with others in resonance, rather than any authoritative, externally imposed criteria required for belonging. We’re all making it up as we go. How cool is that?

SoulFullHeart is also not a therapy, spiritual practice, or religion. While in practice we do things that look similar to all of the above, there are key differences that disqualify SoulFullHeart from being categorized as such.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these, one at a time.

Therapies of all kinds seek to define and remedy problems that a client, patient, or seeker is looking to be free from. Therapies by definition are out to fix problems. SoulFullHeart recognizes instead that whether it’s an unwanted behaviour pattern, or inability to manifest ones dreams, or some unwanted emotional reaction pattern, or even a clinically diagnosed complex or label such as anxiety disorder, or depression; it’s all part of our souls sacred and chosen healing path. All of the pain is owned in this way and relationship with our wounding is chosen over escape or transcendence from…..none of it is wasted and none of it is ‘bad’ or ‘evil’.

This is a difficult concept for most people to grasp as we are so oriented to self-help and self-improvement efforts as our salvation from the many things we seek to change in our lives. In this way, SoulFullHeart deconstructs (heals to free up natural and spring-loaded essence) our way to healing, rather than a therapy picture which seeks a constructive path (paves over wounding with adding something that offers a good enough solution or ‘fix’). Therapy is done when the result is achieved. SoulFullHeart is never done as the manifestation of our Infinite Love essence and expression in the world is also never done deepening.

SoulFullHeart is also not a spiritual practice in the sense of something you practice to reach some kind of attainment. Instead, we feel that you are in essence as attained as you will ever be, although in actual expression you have yet to manifest this. It is only in this so-called earthly dimension that you seek deeper resonance with what you already are as a soul in your essence. ‘Seeking to attain’ in this way is actually a block to letting in what you actually are. There’s nothing to attain. There’s everything to let in and we offer that you have to deconstruct what is false in order to let your authentic essence arise.

SoulFullHeart is also not a religion in the sense that a religion offers you a path to God, Heaven, or some desired enlightened state. SoulFullHeart instead offers that you, as you are right now, are as God-connected and enlightened as you will ever be. There’s no gift of grace to receive that you still need to come to possess. Now, you are finally free to make lifestyle changes purely if you want to. There’s no heaven to gain or hell to shun other than you showing up in life flowing with growth and change, and all of that as divine play that we like children are making up as we go. In this domain of where our duality is a part of our non-duality, there’s a strange paradox where ultimately nothing at stake, while experientially, in our day to feeling of life, everything is at stake.

We say that all of the above leads to Soulfullheartenment. We again felt free to invent a new word to convey and energize a new reality. After all, that’s true about every word in every language, is it not?

An explanation of Soulfullheartenment will be offered tomorrow in Premise # 2 – SoulFullHeartenment Premise.

Please stay tuned.

Before you go though, please check in through comments to let me know, as well as the others along for the ride, that you’re here. Why go it alone when life is offering you community?

Thank you so much for your presence.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and to read all of the premises.

SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process Video Part One

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

New video with Raphael and Jelelle Awen, co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of life, sharing about the awakening process that they offer and specifically how they work with subpersonalities, the ‘inner family’ to differentiate our personas or false self to arise into our authentic self or Divine self….part one! You can watch other videos on the SoulFullHeart Experience Channel.

Seek And Ye Shall Find You

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

cliff-jump

I know you’re out looking for something.

You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. The same is true for me.

I have an answer for you today. And that answer is that I am not your answer. Your answer is YOU. If I am anything to you, I can only serve as a reflection to you of you. If you are anything to me, you can only serve as a reflection of me to me.

The something you are out seeking today is you. The something I am out seeking today is me.

I happen to know that you are seeking the fulfillment of your being in all of its aspects. You want to learn, to grow, to find meaning, to have purpose and passion in your life, and to share all of it in meaningful connection with yourself, with others and with the divine.

Why be here and why ‘do’ here if not for these things?

All of life is arrayed to help you find these things. You already have them, but admittedly, they aren’t your experience as much as you’d like them to be. Hence, you dare to desire, you dare to be out seeking. You dare to look to an other even.

But I can do absolutely nothing for you unless you are out to help yourself. In fact, if you make me your source, while refusing to be your own source, the result can only be abuse of each other.

You are the light of the world. You, as you are now, with your desires for growth and change, with your pains and wounds that you don’t let anyone see.

Love wants in to your defended and seeking heart. Love wants to bring you new reflectors of your essence. Love wants to invite you out to risk again.

Take this light that you are shine it into the world of your desire, your aches and your longings. Let love meet you, embrace you, hold you, reassure you.

Will you?

I know you’re out looking for something…

Seek and ye shall find.

Let nothing stop you. Be radical! Your life depends on it.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Love Your Desires And Let Them Have A Rightful Place In Your Being

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By Raphael Awen

womanabundance

This morning, I continue feeling an angelic connection, and this is my best and momentary interpretation into words of his energy and message. I invite you to feel it for yourself. I think your own Angels will want to dance with you around this subject. 🙂

If there is a sense inside of you that you desire life as you know it to be different in some way, it means you are alive.

How does it feel to be you, inside of your body, inside of your mind, inside of your emotional body? Is it normal for you to have and feel and experience the wanting of something different? Something new?

Of course you do. It’s the foundation of every sales pitch that’s ever been made and ever will be made to you in your life. If you are alive, you want. The illusion of being totally satisfied with life as you know it is not actually possible given the infinite ever expanding reality of life and love.

You may well have constructed the illusion that life as you know it is as good as it gets, but life itself doesn’t support this illusion, and soon enough, you have to again face your wanter.

So great is this unrelenting power of life itself, (that you chose to be a part of incidentally, there are no victims here), that many have worked long and hard to envision a spirituality that is shorn of all want. It is in wanting and seeking they say that all suffering originates. I say the exact opposite. It is in suppressing your wanting and desiring nature where your suffering is found.

You see, to have a want is one thing, but to admit it, to feel it, to make it conscious is a most vulnerable thing, and for this reason, most will need to find more courage to come to this place. The vulnerability I speak of is found in this conscious admission of a desire that you are asked to feel when there is not a conscious guarantee that you will ever have the desired thing or attain the desired state of being.

To what degree are you willing to feel a desire, to let it really come alive in you, when you can’t see or feel that thing emerging on your horizon? Then of course the next question comes; what life form or God would implement such a form of self abuse, to be given to longing for things you have no way of obtaining?

Let’s let that question bake for a moment and come back to it later. Let’s return to the earlier question. Do you even have desire? Feel it from a chakral perspective. In your grounding in the earth, do you feel a desire to feel more secure, more loved? In your creativity and sensuality, do you feel desire there? How about your personal power, do you feel power in life? Go to the heart chakra now, can you see more room for more self love, more and deeper connection with others? What about your expression in the world, your voice, any room for more there? What about your third eye experience? Any desire for deeper clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, to enter the magical and mystical as normal as walking the dog? Moving to the crown chakra, could you handle some more God connection? Could you handle feeling more like the God-human that you are? What would that look and feel like?

Okay, that was a lot just now. Thank you for hanging in there with me. When I feel each of my chakras, I feel desire flowing from each one. I am profoundly dissatisfied in the midst of my deep and profound satisfaction. I want more. The more I taste and feel love, the more I want. If this is not your admitted reality, I must ask, to what degree are you even alive?

Is that question offensive? Of course it is to the satisfied soul. Offence is a risk I am willing to take, for it is a much smaller price to pay than losing you to the cult of false satisfaction. If I must part with you for lack of resonance, let it be sacredly and lovingly marked with this soul angst and conflict. Let us not dis-serve ourselves in an illusion of unconditional love. Not here, on this all too important ground.

Bear with me, bear with desire, bear with these words a moment more. But only if you want to.

Yes, you desire. I desire. Truth be told, sometimes I feel like nothing more than desire.

Returning now to the question we left to bake a moment ago…is it not pure sadomasochism to hold this kind of desire with no ability to attain those desires? Of course it is. What kind of universe would ask you to long and desire for things only to gloat in your not being able to attain or obtain them?

Can you feel where this is leading? The desire itself is programmed to take you to its fulfillment. You must begin with owning desire and then let desire lead you to all the courage and grace necessary to walk that out.

I will pause here, and let you digest this opening of your desire.

Love your desire, let your desire have its rightful place in your being.

Thank you for taking this in, feeling and digesting this energy together. Let’s feel where our desire is leading us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more. 

Introducing SoulFullHeart Video

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, an awakening and healing process in the both the domains of the heart and soul that leads to both individuation (ego maturation) and union/intimacy with self, others, and the Divine. In this video, they share the energy that they call “SoulFullHeart” and extend an invitation for you to join them through sessions and a private circle on Facebook. Love wants to reveal itself through you….visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.