Following The Lighthouse Of Our Longing

by Raphael Awen

Our deepest longings that feel the most impossible are actually deep messages from our hearts and souls to our more conscious selves, that we are invited to feel.

We are not guaranteed the fulfillment of the outward picture of those exact longings, but rather the things those longings represent. We are guaranteed that the longing itself leads us into something much deeper from beyond the veil of forgetfulness regarding our truer essence and changes us in the process.

This is actually a frightful guarantee to parts of us. We cannot own and pursue the longing without being irreversibly changed.

Following this lighthouse of our longing, that carries the unexplainable homing skills of a pigeon, the longing and desire shifts and changes as we reposition ourselves in relationship to it, leading us to our true heart home.

The experience of the initial steps leads to the next ones. We are afforded exercise of the heart muscles that will be needed for the next steps. The first steps are just as magical as the later ones as each step brings the joy of coming into more and more of our infinite essence.

Falling in deeper and deeper love with our many varied selves, we overflow with true love for all beings and all life.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Our Love-Style: A Sacred Union Poem

By Kalayna Colibri

Love… this love we’ve found together, we already are.

These movements we inhabit together,
inside our USness
and inside our ISness,
are ones that bring along
new surprises and prizes.

Beloveds we are,
remembering we have been,
and in this next Now moment,
we find the bond over again
in a deeper sea than before…

The quake and shake
of our Sacred Union dance together
is a treasure to hold and behold
and an opening-out
of our brightest timeline possibilities…
starting, always, within…
flowing together
in a style all our own.


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Infinite Tug Of More

Painting by Patrick Ennis

We exist in a contemplative creative space seeking to uncover a mystery that has no finality or destination other than the one we have chosen to make of it. Even the choice of meaninglessness has its its own sacred purpose. That infinite void space of ISness and Presence is the canvas from which we give our soul creative expression. Pressing against the edges of our own chosen limitations and fears.

What is it that you really want from this realistic dream state you have found yourself in?


Love? Union? Interaction?

Fulfillment? Safety? Freedom?

Adventure? Wholeness? A reset?

All of the above?

The answer may not be as easy as it appears for with each choice lies more questions. More specifics. It brings you to a place where the answers may bring you to contradictions and collisions. What does the depth of this exploration ask of your current cosmology and morality? These internal conflictions seek a mediator and a claimer. A trust in something that is just not knowable but intuitively desirable.

Your heart is your homing device in this vast multidimensional arena. Inside lies your clarity, confusion, and delusions all told. They work themselves into BEing as you connect more to your ultimate desires and your hidden truths.  You may be in a tug-of-war with your inner selves as you are feeling the tug of “more” within your soul.

This is the process of choice, feeling, trust, and action. It is the universe birthing Itself through you. Are you creating It or is It creating you? Or are you dancing with It in Holy matrimony? Do you do this alone or in relationship? These are the questions that may be inviting you IN. Calling you forth into seeking the heights of your most unknowable and infinite self.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Year We Loved Our Fear


“It is not freedom from fear you seek, but rather a relationship to it.”

I am in a new conversation with a soul aspect of mine that feels more closely aligned to my Higher Self. More polarized to love and light than the fear and darkness of so many of my other aspects I have had relationships with. His name is Aris and it is a shortened version of Aristotle. He has a Buddhist and Greek philosophers mind with an angelic aura. Very balanced in his guidance and does not seem to judge much about what is or isn’t true. It is all a quest of feeling and curiosity.

This has started as I have been continuing to feel an increased desire and call to out more of my leadership, authority, and embodiment as a healer, teacher, and creator. As a part of a community of healers, teachers, and creators, it can bring up some old frequencies of doubt, comparison, and unworth. “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” as the famous quote goes. Yes….it is our deepest fear to face our Bigness. But more so our deepest fear is to feel that we are loved beyond infinite measure. That we ARE Inifinite Love. Right now, parts of me are still digesting the “I am loved” part. From me to me first, which lets in the beauty of the love from others and the Divine.

So I have this love flow that is arising INside, overflowing and circulating with my beloved soul family and beautiful sacred union mate. It is a good place to be with so many desires for more arising in all of us. Connecting with new worlds inside of us, growing the intention of vast travel and service of love to all BEings. “So what is the problem with that?!” I hear a voice in me asking.

It is not really a ‘problem’, I would say, but there does come a responsive arising of antithetical feelings that are based in fear, no matter the names I give them. I used to want to feel a freedom from my fear. To extinguish them. To live in a state of fearlessness. But I have come to learn from my experience and my guidance with Aris that Fear is a valuable and essential part of our existence. It is what we move through to feel the Love on the other side. It protects the preciousness of Love and those that are willing to feel the fear and heal it receive the gift in exchange. It is lessing the impact that our relationship to Fear has on parts of us that transmutes us into embodying more Love frequencies. This is the alchemical and transitional 4D consciousness we are going to all be moving into this coming year.

There will be many awarenesses that will come into focus as we move through these next months. Each one asking you to deeply feel your honest truth about your relationship with others, yourself, and daily life. There will be big reactions to those relationships inside of you and what the choice points are for you to feel in regards to what you are truly here to inhabit and how you get there. Feeling the fear undergirding it all is what moves you to the next places. This is where having a relationship with your fear and the parts of you that hold it come into play. Very sacred play. Your Highest Self is there holding space for it all as long as you are willing to feel it.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


The Law Of Attraction: Being, Healing, Receiving

by Kalayna Colibri


Yesterday, I was sweetly asked by someone to share my thoughts on the Law of Attraction, based on a Facebook post I reshared from last year. The original post was a very short letter to the Universe, declaring only a couple of things I really, really wanted… one of them was a new laptop, the other a new cellphone and the third was a sacred union romance. I haven’t typically been someone to create vision boards or set goals or even write letters such as this one. I remember that when I wrote it, I was riding high on an influx of energy from having spent quality time with beloveds the day before. We in SoulFullHeart love to feel and talk about our desires and to feel the possibilities alive in them, though of course we also feel the trailing edge reality around this for parts of us who are fearful or anxious about ‘not getting what they want’.

When I reshared this year-old post, I did so to celebrate that these three desires actually DID come true. It was very sweet to feel this for several reasons, one being that for most people who earn much money, buying something like a new laptop or phone wouldn’t take them a whole year to manifest. In fact, the way so many still live is for instant gratification, trying to satisfy needs, wants and desires as soon as possible, so that the journey to actually living these desires out is as short as possible. It becomes a medication for the parts who actually feel that nothing will ever be enough for them, especially when what they really want underneath the desire for ‘things’ is love… the second reason is what this post proved to a part of me that doesn’t always trust in the Universe or the Divine or even me as the one who is holding and feeling her. Yes, it may have taken about a year to see these desires to fruition in my life, yet they did arrive and the work to bring them in happened both intentionally and unintentionally, meaning that without being directly dedicated to ‘finding’ or ‘accomplishing’, I focused my work within, as I always do. There isn’t anything we can truly control when it comes to getting what we most deeply want. Money, it feels like, can offer the 3D self a false sense of control, as do books and practices like ‘The Secret’. It really isn’t up to you to manifest what you feel you want most in your life. And it isn’t the fault of parts of you if it hasn’t manifested yet, either. So much of this is simply not up to us, and that is VERY humbling to let in…

When I went into meditation with Kuan Yin this morning, I asked her to feel the Law of Attraction with me. She had me feel my mind and my heart, both. I realized that my mind focuses on logistics and doesn’t FEEL the desire so much as thinks long and hard about how to ‘make’ it happen and all of the obstacles or problems that may ‘get in the way’, including money, of course. My heart, however, feels the desires, feels the possibilities, and gets lit up by them or doesn’t. I feel it’s the ‘lit up’ feeling within, that sends out beacons of possibility and draw and also gives the sense of what is most deeply desired, versus what is only a whim or vague possibility. The energy we hold around all possibility is a big part of drawing it to us… do parts of us or Metasoul aspects feel despair about wanting a sacred union romance? Do they feel as if they will never get what they want in a material or emotional way? Are they trying to transcend these trailing edge feelings and wanting to only feel that it’s possible? We draw mixed experiences to us as needed, to help us see and feel these parts more and more.

Perhaps it’s a matter of ‘gestation’ rather than ‘manifestation’, as Kuan Yin offered to me that ‘being’ your way and feeling your way to your desires is really the only path to bringing them in, at least when it comes to the deeper ones. Drawing in a sacred union romance is about BEing, giving space to parts of you, healing your way to it. Finding yourself a new cellphone or laptop can feel just as magical as letting in a romance if the time is taken to be and feel your way there and not necessarily ‘take action’ or ‘set goals’. The same could be set for weight loss or money-earning. There is so much to be and be with as we become… as we continue to shift inside of ourselves through the inner excavation process of deep feeling that we offer in SoulFullHeart.  As we do so, the steps unfold and alignment happens in an organic, flowing, flowering way, especially in these days of ramped-up Ascension energies, where this is becoming the reality more and more easily as our energies continue to move upward.

Attracting or drawing what we most want, begins with feeling the wants, working our way to feeling what’s real about them and what deeper desires could be underneath them, helping us detach from the outcome in humble surrender. We are brilliant co-creators as arising sacred humans, work consciously and unconsciously in tandem with energies in the multi-verse inside and outside of us, and those around us who fill us up with love while we offer and BE the same to and with them. If it’s really about love underneath it all, then love is what needs to be present in our hearts, in an ever-deepening way through our healing, in order to truly reach those heights of BEing that we feel called to bring in, in whatever form or fabric that takes in our unfolding 3D-5D reality consciousness. ❤

If you wish to learn more about the SoulFullHeart process, visit for more information.

Also, THIS coming Sunday, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube! Check it out, starting at 11:11am CST (Mexico City).


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


You Are The Love Magma Of New Earth


Shifts and rumbles.  All making way for what is wanting to move from a deeper layer of your being into the light of day.  Into a more outed, genuine, and expressed version of what you have come to “know” yourself as.  That “you” that you didn’t realize was a place holder for the more real you.  But how were you to know? Even the “me” that is typing this is not the most authentic version of me.  It is an ongoing process that takes desire, curiosity, and whole lot of courage, for there are things that are not what we may want to see or feel along the way.

That is the awakening. The remembering from the deep sleep of our journey into this dimension.  The feeling of the protection and falseness that we have been used to identifying as “the good guy”, “the one who has it all together”, “the healer”, or any other labels a part of us have been using to make our way through this life….until it just doesn’t hold water anymore.  The soul is aching to come out into the light and like magma from the depths of the earth, lots of stuff gets shaken up.  Sacred goo among the cracks.

It is only your desire for real love and the essence of your true creative power that keeps these heart and soul tectonics in continuous motion.  There is no guarantee that life will look and feel like it did a year, a month, or even a week ago.  If it does then you can be assured that there is a part of you that is resisting this awakening and maturation process, and that it has its damn good reasons! What feels the same to you inside yourself from a year ago? With sincere reflection you can feel what still lies at the core of what needs your love.

For me it has been the way a part of me relates to change, abundance, and love.  It comes out in physical manifestations that block fully letting in due to a focus on the issue itself. I find myself in the midst of major changes in my body, new timelines, and relationship. It is intensified by the new altitude of energies we find ourselves in.  To truly let go and let in I am feeling Metasoul lives and their relationship to it all.  The inner parts of me that can really no longer survive in this new environment.  I am heading into new waters of romance, soul expression, and service leadership. What a time to be alive! Healing what once was and moving into new territory of divine MEness.  This is hot stuff!  I have things to do, see, and be!

I feel this for you too. To keep feeling what lies underneath your tectonic plates and what wants to arise new and shower itself upon your world for all to experience and learn from. You are hot stuff waiting to be birthed into the New Earth atmosphere! The plates are the parts and aspects of us that have been formed to keep us safe in response to all that our souls have been through.  Love is what sets them into rumble and eventual collapse when held in the cauldron of your sacred heart.  They all become an integrated part of the new.  New abundance, new timelines, new community, new relationships.

It all starts inside with that fire of desire.  Ask it what it truly wants and the rumble begins…..


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at




The Pearl Of Great Price


By Raphael Awen

All I need and want is found inside of me?

Who’d have guessed it was so stunningly simple?

Who’d have guessed all that external searching would have returned me to me in a great and tearful and fearful homecoming to my own heart?

All the gods and Gods of your own searching will only and ever bring you back to you to reclaim the majesty and sovereignty of your own heart.

Contrary to what you’ve heard, this actually IS a journey for the faint of heart. The universe of you had to wait for you to tire of other lovers who held your mesmerized attention intact until it could be safely returned to the unutterable greatness of you. Only as you come to this precipice of complete failure and exhaustion would you ever find what is needed to choose yourself. Only now will you find the courage to be truly and authentically no longer ‘faint of heart.’

Jesus spoke of the parable of a man who discovered a field in which was hidden a pearl of great price, who when he discovered that field, he went out and sold all that he had in order to purchase that field. That field is you. But in order to obtain you, you must sell all that stands between you and this ‘pearl of great price’ new version of you.

This means that all that exists in your current expression of your life is malleable (expendable) to what you really and truly want…you only and ever give away something lesser to obtain something greater, and you don’t need to do business with any other to obtain what is your birthright. Ultimately, you only will need to do business with yourself. This is because the universe, divine source has already completed its side of the equation. All of you is accessible to you now.

Truly astounding inner experiences that powerfully reshape your life as you’ve known it are available to you if you are ready to claim the power of your desire and your choice. None of this which Jesus spoke is available to the ambivalent. Desire and choice always offers you a going on point that your inner guidance confirms to you is your next step into your pearl of great price. Movement occurs when grounded choice answers grounded desire. All the experience that led to this moment of choice was only intended to garner desire and choice. It may be a small choice, but that choice inevitably guides and opens out the next one, and the one after that.

Our lives as we currently know them are built on the choices we’ve made up till now. New growth in the infinite depths of self love await us, but again, these new vistas wait for new choice to form new expressions of our utterly magical lives.

Here, in desire and choice and ongoing returning and homecoming is where all that was lost is returned to you. No matter how great the darkness or fear, or self loathing that currently lives in you, no matter how far it feels like you have wandered, you are offered this sacred path of acting upon these ‘homing’ desires that live in you.

If you need a glimpse of what your future might look like, look to those who have raised your desire, who have stirred a longing in you, who have mirrored to you powerful glimpses of your own essence. The hero that lives in you recognizes the true heroism that lives in others.

Who’d have guessed! Who’d have guessed that I can drink of this deeply nourishing stream in any moment, in any circumstance? Who’d have guessed all the paths and saviors who sought my allegiance to something outside of my own heart were actually just afraid of their own greatness and sought to have some misery and company in their need to control? Who’d have guessed that this love that I live and breathe IS me now? …simply awaiting my deeper discovery? Who’d have guessed that my safe place, my ark to sail through the most painful times currently upon us as a species, is this ‘pearl of great price’ me offering me not only safe passage into new births, but also the most exquisite of experiences imaginable?

Who’d have guessed that this mission to rediscover my own heart is actually my deepest super abundant contribution to others? Who’d have guessed that my true selflessness is actually found in this true heart based return to self?

So what choice is love and life infusing you with the clarity and power to actually act upon? Are you ready to move? The universe is watching YOU at the edge of its front row seat!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information and inspiration.


It’s our relationship to Desire that matters, not suppressing it

By Raphael Awen


Possibly the single most difficult challenge in life is dealing with desire.

Think about it for a moment. Without desire, there wouldn’t be such things as addictions, no need for medications or drugs of any kind. No need for anything really. Sex, food, a new iphone, you name it, all of it no longer sought after. There wouldn’t be any conflict, as that’s all based on desire, so there’s the whole ‘world peace’ issue solved. No more internal conflicts either, so no more need for any spiritual teachers like myself offering ‘more’ in some form or another. There wouldn’t be any possibility of being taken advantage of, nor sold anything, because all that too begins and ends with desire.

What comes up for many of us in feeling this burden of desire that we carry is a desire to return to the place of no desire, to return to source. We can feel a realm of bliss and contentment where we were free from the tyranny of desire. But, to enter this place, we feel a desire to unburden ourselves of this seeming plague of desire that overwhelms us. Did you get that? Desire to exit desire? Argh! Give it an inch and it takes a mile.

The other day, in the evening, I walked down the hill to the beach seawall and stopped in for some ice-cream. It was chocolate mint with crunchy chocolate chunks in it. It tasted out of this world. I knew it was a sugar bomb and of no food value whatsoever, but it was just too good and too satisfying to say no too. Then, the next evening, the idea came back again, and guess what? More chocolate mint. That night at around 3 am, there was a sugar bomb explosion that gave me a headache. Now the chocolate mint wasn’t so much my friend anymore. Lesson learned right? Well, actually, no, because the idea came back around on the third night in a row and guess what? MORE Chocolate Mint, and yet another early morning hangover. Talk about addicted, I couldn’t even try a different flavour.

So, what’s the solution? The idea of some ‘self control’ comes up first with a bit of a punishing energy. “Once in a blue moon as a treat, is fine, but….”. But this too is the voice of another desire, desire wanting to control desire.

When you stop to feel through it, there isn’t a single problem that you have in any area that can’t be traced back directly to the issue of desire.

So, let’s leave this plagued world of desire then, right? To hell with desire. Let’s kill off all desire. What’s left could only be total bliss.

But we’d have to exit nature for sure, because even trees have desire. We’d have to shed the body, because it too is a demon of desire, food, sex, nikes and all. And then what we’re left with is being disembodied spirits who live in the bliss of escape from the pain of all desire. If this is true, then suicide is the greatest virtue.

But, think a bit further here. The question comes up if I would really be free of all desire after death. If I’m still existing, but outside of the body, I won’t be at the ice-cream shop any time soon, but wouldn’t I still be in some realm of desire?

It feels to me like the oneness source that we were birthed out of, the one that we can feel a longing to return to, is actually an energy of discontentment within its contentment. If God, or oneness, or non-duality was so blissfully fulfilled (filled to the full), why did it create outside of itself, beings who would be dependent upon desire?

The answer I can feel around this one and humbly offer as a ‘near as I can tell’ is that God had desire. I know that sounds blasphemous to our conditioned minds, but God wasn’t filled to the full. And God isn’t filled to the full. And God is out ‘godding’ around through you and me in this utter cacophony of desire that has been unleashed upon us.


Because God in its utter and total fulfillment, felt a need to step outside of itself, which it actually can’t do, but decided to try anyway and provide the illusion of separation from God as a learning and discovery ground seeking to come to know more of its infinite nature.

God is in the 18 year old out trying to get laid. God was in my ice-cream binge. God is in my desire to write this morning. God is in you as you read this.

Here’s the secret though. The separation you feel between you and God isn’t real. It just needed to feel real enough for the experiment to work. What happens to infinite love when it ventures outside of itself, when it lets itself feel the wanting of something more than the most it already has?

We don’t actually know and neither does God, but desire was again found utterly unstoppable here. God couldn’t self discipline itself to stay inside of any kind of safe boundaries. Love left itself up to love. If love is anything, it is free of control. “But, how can that work” we all ask, including the part of me afraid of my next ice-cream binge?

How about this as a solution? What if instead of killing desire, what I actually need is to go deeper into desire? What is it that I really want? What did the ice cream represent that it was capable of representing but not fulfilling? It takes as many ice-cream binges as it takes to figure this out, and love itself can hold every one of them. Even self destruction is held in love, because every destruction cannot escape the love that you are and that you never ever actually left.


To kill desire, you’d have to kill God.The word for this is ‘deicide.’ That’s why suicide is so offensive, it’s actually deicide and suppressing desire is actually fighting God.

You can embrace the utter contentment that you are and bask in its fullness, just don’t think that you won’t have desires inside of that. It’s a crazy thing, but there isn’t any fulfillment in fulfillment in an infinite world. ‘Full’ isn’t ultimately real, only ‘full for now’ is real.

Love wants to explore through you and it can also feel you in this burden it thrust upon you of offloading it’s very desire nature into you. Like a crack addicted mother passing off its craving into an unborn fetus, it can be seen as a tragedy, or it can be seen as love itself being utterly and uncontrollably addicted to love.

We are in a love experiment. Nothing more or less. Even hatred is contained by love.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a way to get to know and explore the many parts of ourselves or subpersonalities. Here is where your overall relationship to desire can be felt through. Here, we can begin to differentiate each part of us and their relationship to desire. Without this, we remain fused to this civil war of desire inside of us. Check out for more.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information and Raphael’s facebook page for more writing. 


Love Your Desires And Let Them Have A Rightful Place In Your Being

By Raphael Awen


This morning, I continue feeling an angelic connection, and this is my best and momentary interpretation into words of his energy and message. I invite you to feel it for yourself. I think your own Angels will want to dance with you around this subject. 🙂

If there is a sense inside of you that you desire life as you know it to be different in some way, it means you are alive.

How does it feel to be you, inside of your body, inside of your mind, inside of your emotional body? Is it normal for you to have and feel and experience the wanting of something different? Something new?

Of course you do. It’s the foundation of every sales pitch that’s ever been made and ever will be made to you in your life. If you are alive, you want. The illusion of being totally satisfied with life as you know it is not actually possible given the infinite ever expanding reality of life and love.

You may well have constructed the illusion that life as you know it is as good as it gets, but life itself doesn’t support this illusion, and soon enough, you have to again face your wanter.

So great is this unrelenting power of life itself, (that you chose to be a part of incidentally, there are no victims here), that many have worked long and hard to envision a spirituality that is shorn of all want. It is in wanting and seeking they say that all suffering originates. I say the exact opposite. It is in suppressing your wanting and desiring nature where your suffering is found.

You see, to have a want is one thing, but to admit it, to feel it, to make it conscious is a most vulnerable thing, and for this reason, most will need to find more courage to come to this place. The vulnerability I speak of is found in this conscious admission of a desire that you are asked to feel when there is not a conscious guarantee that you will ever have the desired thing or attain the desired state of being.

To what degree are you willing to feel a desire, to let it really come alive in you, when you can’t see or feel that thing emerging on your horizon? Then of course the next question comes; what life form or God would implement such a form of self abuse, to be given to longing for things you have no way of obtaining?

Let’s let that question bake for a moment and come back to it later. Let’s return to the earlier question. Do you even have desire? Feel it from a chakral perspective. In your grounding in the earth, do you feel a desire to feel more secure, more loved? In your creativity and sensuality, do you feel desire there? How about your personal power, do you feel power in life? Go to the heart chakra now, can you see more room for more self love, more and deeper connection with others? What about your expression in the world, your voice, any room for more there? What about your third eye experience? Any desire for deeper clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, to enter the magical and mystical as normal as walking the dog? Moving to the crown chakra, could you handle some more God connection? Could you handle feeling more like the God-human that you are? What would that look and feel like?

Okay, that was a lot just now. Thank you for hanging in there with me. When I feel each of my chakras, I feel desire flowing from each one. I am profoundly dissatisfied in the midst of my deep and profound satisfaction. I want more. The more I taste and feel love, the more I want. If this is not your admitted reality, I must ask, to what degree are you even alive?

Is that question offensive? Of course it is to the satisfied soul. Offence is a risk I am willing to take, for it is a much smaller price to pay than losing you to the cult of false satisfaction. If I must part with you for lack of resonance, let it be sacredly and lovingly marked with this soul angst and conflict. Let us not dis-serve ourselves in an illusion of unconditional love. Not here, on this all too important ground.

Bear with me, bear with desire, bear with these words a moment more. But only if you want to.

Yes, you desire. I desire. Truth be told, sometimes I feel like nothing more than desire.

Returning now to the question we left to bake a moment ago…is it not pure sadomasochism to hold this kind of desire with no ability to attain those desires? Of course it is. What kind of universe would ask you to long and desire for things only to gloat in your not being able to attain or obtain them?

Can you feel where this is leading? The desire itself is programmed to take you to its fulfillment. You must begin with owning desire and then let desire lead you to all the courage and grace necessary to walk that out.

I will pause here, and let you digest this opening of your desire.

Love your desire, let your desire have its rightful place in your being.

Thank you for taking this in, feeling and digesting this energy together. Let’s feel where our desire is leading us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more.