Category: Inner Mother/Father

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

36

Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

31

by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

****

Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.