Meet Your Inner Mother Guided Meditation – DAY 24: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-FOUR: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Mother Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-four of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about and introduce you to another part that seems to develop in response to 3D life. Your Inner Mother is the energy inside that represents the templating you received from your birth mother (or other important female caregiver.) If your relationship with your birth mother is and has been challenging, difficult, conflictual, etc., this relationship LIVES inside you as well between your Inner Mother and other parts of you (usually the Inner Teenager and Inner Child.)

For women, getting to know and connect with their Inner Mothers allows for more compassionate flow and forgiveness INside….and also in relationships with other women and their birth mothers as well. It allows for understanding and healing of the trauma experienced in this relationship. Integration of your Inner Mother allows the healing of matriarchal 3D energies and arising into your sacred Venus Queen expression.

For men, getting to know their Inner Mother allows for more complete differentiation and individuation from their birth mothers. This frees up the transaction grounds with their female mate from mother projection tones and reactions to embrace a woman as a Venus Queen.

In the meditation today, Mother Mary holds the space for you to meet your Inner Mother. You first connect with your Inner Protector, who expresses to you about how the relationship with this part expresses with other parts of you. Your Inner Protector leads the way to your Inner Mother, who you meet and connect with….starting to get a sense of her world and experience.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-four day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

Change Your Life By Finding Your Courage

by Kalayna Colibri

Bravery. It’s a good topic to get into, isn’t it? We’re living in times where we SO need our bravery, both the masculine and feminine versions of it. We all have these energies inside of us. We’re all capable of so much beyond our wildest dreams and somehow you know this and can feel it… but not always. Being born into 3D conditioning is like having a lead balloon over your bigness. That is, until it’s not what’s true anymore and you’re remembering how to soar again!

Yesterday I posted just a couple of lines on my Facebook page that said, “If you don’t feel challenged to find your bravery, you’re living a life that supports your stuckness, not your growth…” and got a really big response! It feels like these are words that so many parts and Metasoul Aspects are NEEDING to hear and feel. It’s an invitation that’s meant to bowl you over with love. You’re always invited into your bigness through finding your courage. You find your true courage by finding your heart. If there’s no heart in your choices, if you aren’t truly feeling them, parts of you are keeping you numb out of fear and wanting to just exit the whole situation or relationship without feeling the loss or mourning. This is more bravado than bravery and comes from the Inner Protector wanting to just get OUT already… there’s nothing “wrong” with this though, especially because leaving abusive relationships can really require you to feel as unsentimental as possible on your way out the door. This is about survival in some cases and bless your Inner Protector for doing their job!

What I just mentioned about the Inner Protector brings us to the point I was making about masculine and feminine expressions of bravery. Since the Inner Protector for both men and women tends to be very, very masculine in energy, a very protected and armored version of bravery is expressed through this part. This is more wounded masculine than healed masculine of course, yet there’s no judgment about that because this is just how this part of you has HAD to be. Masculine bravery also expresses through the inner matriarch/patriarch (Inner Mother/Father). Matriarchy, the way it’s been expressed so far, has been intensely masculine in many ways. Any picture of a warrior woman is a masculine one, for example. Feminine power and bravery are different in my experience than anything that requires contention and battles on any level. The more healed version of masculine bravery lives in the heart. It helps you set intentions and not waiver from the course of action chosen, though your heart is still open to feeling your way through it (which is more feminine). It also helps you set boundaries when necessary and quite often it IS necessary in order to exit one door in your life and enter another.

Feminine bravery expresses through the heart. It’s a deep-seated courage to keep feeling all there is to feel. Courage to be WITH the mourning of leaving relationships, career, etc. Courage to be WITH the entering and letting in of new ones, too. Interesting that I’m using the word “courage” instead of “bravery” when talking about the feminine expression! I think this is because cour-age is of the heart, with “coeur” being the French word for “heart” and the feminine lives and thrives in the heart space. It takes a ton of bravery to stay in your heart, even when the world seems to support parts of you not to stay there and when it’s understandably tempting to follow along with that…

It takes a lot of YOU in your growing and strengthening essence to keep fnding your next steps in your life though every single awakening experience and every integration of these experiences too. You’re not meant to stay the same, and your life isn’t meant to either. You have a choice to be with the parts of you that are afraid and take brave steps anyways, trusting in your heart and soul that you WILL be and ARE held by something bigger within you and that life is on your side, not against you. This is a big one to feel and let in. And it takes a lot of bravery to even begin doing so. ❤

you are living in your stuckness

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension: 7 Key Areas Of Life – The Inner Mother/Father (Emotional Area)

by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, invite you to feel the emotional tones and origins of your Inner Mother/Father part(s) of you. These parts come from the lineages on our mother and father’s sides in this lifetime, yet they are also shaped by templating received by other sorts of caregivers, authority figures, and pervasive cultural conditioning around what it means to be a man or woman. A signature piece of this templating is often invulnerability in relationships, distrust towards life, love and others, control, and anxiety, all at varying degrees and depths.

The Inner Mother/Father can also be called the Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Both of these represent the wounded masculine frequencies taken in in 3D reality. Kalayna and Gabriel discuss the different ways in which you can feel these parts within you, such as through feeling the relationship your mother and/or father had with their sexuality and their bodies, members of the same or opposite sex, life, money, etc. All of this templating becomes instilled within parts of us and until we can begin to feel its effect on us and the ways in which parts of us have also taken on this conditioning, it can be very challenging to actually heal this conditioning and begin to move beyond it.

Kalayna and Gabriel also share about their personal processes when working with these parts within themselves, as well as what this process usually looks and feels like for those who inhabit the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process and path. All of your committed efforts to being with and healing these parts of you opens up your heart to deeper compassion for how and why these parts originally formed as well as towards those who helped plant this conditioning within you in the first place. The ultimate intention is to begin to uncover and rediscover what it means to express as a ‘man’ or ‘woman’ in an authentic way that comes from a healing and conscious heart.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on the blog, on the Youtube video, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

31

by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

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