Welcoming All The Challenges Of 2021 As a Part Of Our Return To Love

By Deya Shekinah

This time last year I came to Glastonbury and planted a seed, an intention to spend more time here in 2020. Initially that seed was planted with a beloved but as the year unfurled that romance came to an end. The most intimate and loving relationship I have ever experienced coming to an end has been my biggest teacher this year, with the grief of that loss opening my heart to the grief of all of the losses I have ever experienced, which continues to unravel moment to moment.

I feel how we have all, in our own ways this year, experienced doors and chapters of our lives closing and ways of being dissolving. Uncertainty has become a more visible reality that we have to learn to walk with every day in new ways and that has been tough.

Yet as I land here now in Avalon/Glastonbury with a new dawn arising for 2021, full of possibilities and potential for more growth, more love, and more challenges, I feel more held in trust than ever before because of my own personal journey this year to get here. This year has forced us all in many ways to face some of our biggest fears: loneliness, grief, loss, and death. It is my experience, by feeling all of these places inside, that there is a tremendous amount of courage, adaptability and strength inside all of us to keep finding new ways to thrive, to love and to connect, and that however restricted or lost parts of us may feel, that is never the whole truth.

Letting in the beauty of all the challenges and the lockdowns may not be easy, but it is in feeling the empty, lockdowned spaces within that we are being reborn, even when we cannot see it or feel it. 

As much goodness is flowing into my life at this moment, I feel the fruition of listening to this invitation of turning deeply inwards towards myself during these times of lockdown. I will move into my own place on New Year’s Day here in Avalon and it is the first time I will have ever lived alone which I am excited about, and finally, after three years, I am with my beloved SoulFullHeart community in the physical. It feels like my seed from last New Year’s is beginning to sprout, although the beloved is inwards now rather than on the outside. 

As the new challenges for 2021 are already arising, I feel us all able to hold them and ourselves more lovingly after all we have learnt in 2020. 

2021 feels to me like a year to keep embracing the beauty and the tensions of the duality that we came here to experience, to allow the fullness of the human experience that is always working for us to humble us and re-sensitize us to the simple, subtle joys of being embodied and alive. As another year ends and a new one begins, I am reminded that endings and beginnings co-exist and are a constant in our daily lives not just on New Year’s Eve… and that feels ever more present in where we are in our humanity right now.

As we all continue to move through life’s death and rebirth cycles, from my heart in the Heart Chakra of the Earth, I send you so much love and many New Year’s blessings. May we continue to remember and uncover the goodness, innocence and love that is who we are, and learn to radiate the light that is in our hearts so we can continue to guide each other towards New Earth.

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant & Community Member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Opposites You Feel Inside Are A Portal To The Oneness You Are

By Raphael Awen

Experiencing and feeling what you don’t want is actually what’s key to experiencing what you do want.

To the degree you feel depressed is actually testament to your native capacity for enthusiasm, creativity and divine play.

To the degree you know what it is to feel anxiety, speaks to your natural ability for radiating deep trust, rest and security in relationship to yourself, others, and beyond.

The presence of the negative is the evidence of and testament to the presence and reality of the positive. One relies on the other for its existence. 

This tug-of-war polarity and tension between what you desire and what you actually experience is the pathway into navigating between the two in the direction you want to go. You are like this anti-gravitic travel device in this way that can dial up both gravity and levity to create movement. Knowing one allows you to know the other.

You wouldn’t even be able to feel tension, were it not for rest. You couldn’t feel love were it not for fear. You couldn’t feel trust were it not for anxiety. 

These polarities seem like opposites, they seem ‘opposed’ to one another. While they have polarity, they are not separate or opposed in the way we think of separation or opposition. They come from the same source, making them two expressions of oneness. No ‘opposition’ per se’, just polarity, the likes of which make for great romance.

All of this is flowing from the oneness that you are, that you came from, and that you are returning to. You are already perfect, just maybe not in the way a part of you defined perfection. 

If this is true, then what?

Then,….you are being invited to embrace the opposite, the thing that is ‘opposing’ the thing you want. It’s a magical doorway into the thing you want, an invitation instead of an opposition.

You can now choose to explore what you feared exploring, what you deemed off limits and parked in secluded shadow, to then have more and more arising felt experience of your true essence in your everyday life. 

Sounds like magic and play to me! 

Begin to really dream of the life you want. See it, feel it. Feel it deeply in contrast to fully feeling the life you presently have, but long to change. Especially feel and don’t deny the parts of you who just can’t see it, who just can’t get excited just yet. 

GET CURIOUS, open your heart to all that is inside of you. Enter the darkness. It is your magical portal into the infinite magic of being that you are!

I can tell you personally, that I no longer experience the unaddressed and avoided layers of anxiety or depression or shame that I once did. Where these things once lived in my life is now the presence of deep trust and arising creativity, and very meaningful and deepening self worth. This doesn’t mean I am without challenge. Duality still provides me with the tension between what I have and what I want. That’s called appetite, always moving between satiation and desire. 

What’s cool about this is that the courage it took to face and love my depression and anxiety is the same template for how I live in the moment of every day. What need is arising now? How can I embrace that need! Where is love wanting to flow and be felt? 

What largesse of my being is wanting to engage it’s next step into the world of infinite love and infinite possibility?

We are this crazy hot stuff, only reeling from how magical we are, how infinite we are, how full of love we are. Everything ‘else’ isn’t anything ‘else’, it’s all the same pointing to the oneness we are inside, outside and collectively.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Please consider joining Jelelle Awen, myself and others for Free To Be Two – our soon upcoming six week group call series held on Wednesdays (May 20th to June 24). These two hour group calls have been very transformative and healing for those who participated. A donation of any amount gets you the Zoom link to join as well as the recordings of each meeting in case you’re not able to attend. They’re also a great way to get introduced to SoulFullHeart if you’d like to. You can get more info and sign up here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 I really hope you can join us.