By Deya Shekinah
Spending real, intimate time with women is such a gift to my heart and soul. I am recognising that there has been so much in the way of deeper bonds with women my whole life; competition, insecurity, unworthiness and jealousy being some of them. I feel how hard that has been on me and my parts, even more so now as I feel how deep the need for union with women really is. The uniqueness of the connection between women is so special and I feel how we do really need each other in a way that is different to our need for and with men.
I always feel so inspired and enlivened after deep union with women and deeply nourished by where women can go together when they feel safe and can rest and lean into one another. We understand and feel each other so deeply in wordless spaces and ways, which is something I feel I have looked for in my relationships with men my whole life and has brought a deep dissatisfaction to parts of me. Only now am I recognising how men are not really meant to fulfill our need for each other as women.
There is healing that needs to happen to let women in and trust women again after all the years and lifetimes of competition and hurt that has been experienced between us. I feel the pain of having had to turn away from one another to survive in a world where we are led to believe that we cannot do it without a man. How dangerous it has been at times to be a woman and still is for many women in the world today, and I can feel what that has led and does lead us to do to one another to just get through it.
I feel how the need for connection with women is so deeply buried under a lot of pain and distrust that it can be hard to recognise that need is even there. I am being invited daily as part of life within the SoulFullHeart community to feel my needs and desires that have been deeply buried in order to survive, and then invited to reach out to ask for what I want. It can feel terribly vulnerable for parts of me to even acknowledge that they need others, especially women, and I am still not quite sure why that is. As I do this though, I am getting to experience something new with women that is so deeply nourishing and healing in ways I cannot mentally track but I feel it as it ripples through my body and creates a deep rest and sigh of relief within my womb.
I feel so deeply blessed to have wonderful women in my life and for all the women who have helped me prepare to let all this love in that I am experiencing now with my closest Sisters. Everytime I meet in deep, real, intimate connection with women, I am changed, and I remember more of who I am and more about why I am here.
Jelelle Awen and Kasha Rokshana will be holding this month’s SoulFullHeart Women’s Group Call this Sunday 7th March at 5pm (London time) This month’s call is about healing and activating the Womb, work that is very close to my heart and I feel so supports this deeper healing between us as women. This women’s group is open to the public and to all women over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy exchange of whatever donation you feel to give. You can purchase the Zoom link to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop
Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant & Community Member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.