In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Message Of Compassionate Forgiveness From Yeshua

Happy Easter! This week we have a few digestions to share with some beautiful frequencies and offerings from Yeshua and some other energy updates as well. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen which she wrote on Good Friday. In it, she channels a much needed and desired message from Yeshua about compassionate forgiveness:

“When upcoming disclosure brings you to hear about and feel sometimes very dark actions from what seems like ‘evil’ and ‘enemies’ and energies that are difficult to love, I am inviting you to remember that while one seeks vengeance against another without first seeking to understand and forgive themselves AND the other, the cycle of suffering continues. You will be moved to hate and fight, and I am inviting you to love instead.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week three! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will be talking about how this life and other lifetime experiences of collapse can bleed through at this time, along with primal fears and the original separation wound from the Divine. You will connect with your Inner Child and/or Inner Orphan to provide support and love to them, in addition to aspects from lifetimes that have experienced collapses/plagues/starvation, etc. to offer love to them during the guided meditation.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/freetobe

There is a brand new video and guided meditation this week, led by Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and held as a sacred service for Easter Sunday. During this live stream recording, you connect with death and rebirth codes and they respond to your questions and also offer a reading of a Yeshua compassionate forgiveness message. They offered a guided meditation to connect to the available death and resurrection codes that offer a bridge into 5D New Earth/Indwelling Christ activation of “I AM the Light of the World”.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well SoulFullHeart Facilitants, Kalayna Solais, Gabriel Heartman, and Deva Yasmin. They are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Jelelle works with women only. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Forgive Them Their Hate, They Know Not How To Love: Message From Mother Mary

Forgive them their busyness,
They know not how to be.

Forgive them their violence,
They know not how to act.

Forgive them their blindness,
They know not how to see.

Forgive them their lack of conscience
They know not how to feel remorse.

Forgive them their judgment,
They know not how to discern.

Forgive them their numbness,
They know not how to feel.

Forgive them their greed,
They know not how to receive.

Forgive them their destruction,
They know not how to create.

Forgive them their hatred
They know not how to love.

They know not yet how, but they CAN remember if responded to with love, held with love, reminded of love.

And, the deepest forgiveness extend to YOURSELF first as this is the only way that it will overflow to others…

~

Jelelle Awen with Mother Mary & the Magdalenes, originally received in 2010, feels even more timely today…a message for how to feel forgiveness and compassion for others and yet, also, and even more importantly, for ourselves and all the parts of us that need compassionate forgiveness.

Jelelle Awen is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

You Are Here To Seed Light In The Darkness: Message From The Magdalenes

By Jelelle Awen

We are so glad you are here with us today! Jelelle is our sister and she is allowing our voices and our message to come through to you. Maybe you have heard of us or of our ambassador Mary of Magdala/Bethany? Whom you often just call, Mary Magdalene?

We want to share our truth with you about who we are, why we are here, and how you may be connected to us and our mission. If our truth resonates in your soul, if it makes your heart leap and sing, if you feel a ‘yes’, then we are very glad for that. If not, if what we share does not fit you, that is well and good as well.

Many of you have woken up beyond the distortion placed on Mary Magdalene by religions. You have felt and seen Mary Magdalene in her bigness, in her beloved sacred union with her Counterpart Yeshua, in her High Priestess status as an initiate of Isis and the Divine Goddess Mother. You have arisen her already out of the ashes of the patriarchy that burned her out of their fear and could not accept her as an equal to Yeshua (Jesus). They could not honor the Divine Mother as the Creatrix of ALL life and the Divine Father as Her Partner in the holding of ALL creation.

Yet, the embers of this truth burned in the soul consciousness of those who are meant to remember and hold it. By blowing an awakening wind on those embers, Mary Magdalene and the Divine Feminine is arising again! From the hearts of your desires for Her, your need for Her, your resonance with Her, your capacity to BECOME Her….so She is able to arise to respond to those needs! So you are able to embrace Her again AS you.

This truth we want to share with you now for it to land in your heart and hopefully resound in your soul. There is not just one Magdalene, yet many, many of us. We are not only embodied in one soul and Ascended Divine Feminine Teacher, yet ‘Magdalene’ is a consciousness. It is an ‘order’ and a lineage. Magdalene Consciousness is about bringing seeds of light into the deepest and darkest places of humanity’s wounds so that they may heal again.

The truth is that there are MANY Magdalenes and they take many forms….female AND male…religious and spiritual…young and old. It is the true essence of the soul and the purity of the heart in which you can come to recognize the signature vibrational frequency of a Magdalene. They serve from a growing place of purity within, of service of love to ALL beings on Gaia and in the Universe. They may go through lessons around this purification of service, such as not to fall into self sacrifice and giving to others from an empty cup; learning how to receive, lean, and let in themselves; learning to balance their needs/wants as a human with their Divine consciousness expression.

Magdalenes often choose the most difficult, dark and traumatizing experiences and timelines to go through. This choice is made because their faith, love, and devotion to the Divine is so strong and their light is so bright. It is not because of karma and that they have done ‘bad things’ in other lifetimes. It is because they can bring forgiveness and compassion to the darkest energies that bring up great fear in others and most importantly to themselves and the parts of them that most need it.

They can be ambassadors in the most difficult battlegrounds as their desire for peace outweighs their need to fight. They ultimately trust on the soul level that they WILL return to remembrance of their Divine Essence again…even if it takes very many lifetimes to do so.

Some Magdalenes do this by being Healers, Teachers, WayShowers, Writers. They are channeling through their soul’s wisdoms learned from many lifetimes receiving initiations in the ways of the Divine Father and Divine Mother. Some Magdalenes prefer to be ‘behind the scenes’ and offer love in simple, yet profound ways that may be unsung yet are very impactful. All Magdalenes hold a seed in their BEing of what life on Gaia could be again from their experiences in Lemuria, in Atlantis, etc. Their need and soul impulse becomes to plant these seeds of New Gaia possibility into the grid set up by some of us Magdalenes in the Yeshua lifetime of crucification and resurrection.

If you are reading this right now, you may feel in your heart an opening occurring in resonance with us and are starting to remember now your Magdalene lineage. It feels like a desire and ache for reunion. It feels like a need to return home after a very long and hard journey. It feels like realizing that you have NEVER been alone even though it has very often felt that way. It feels like remembering that you belong to a very loving and supportive family who has always been with you.

We are here to reconnect with you in this now. You can call on Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Grandmother Anna, Yeshua….any of us that you feel drawn to in your heart and soul. Jelelle and Raphael provide bridges to us as well, as they have come into deeper awareness now of their legacy and connection to us.

You have chosen to incarnate into this timeline for an important reason. Now is the time to water, tend, and harvest the seeds of a 5D Golden Earth that we planted in the Yeshua/Magdalene lifetime. There is much support for you to move into your purpose around this. Align with this support, let go of that which distracts and invalidates you…. and your higher timeline will come to you from the Divine. Choose this higher timeline and it will choose you!

Thank you for taking in our message in this Now and into your heart,

We love you! We miss you! We wait for you!

Love,

The Magdalenes w/Jelelle Awen

If you resonate with this message, I highly recommend reading the books: Anna, Grandmother of Jesus and Anna, Voice Of The Magdalenes by Clare Heartsong and Catherine Ann Clemett. And I’ll be providing a bridge to the Magdalenes in a guided meditation soon, plus I explore the remembrance of these grounds during 1:1 sessions with women. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Join me and the Magdalenes for my monthly women’s group call on Sunday, February 23rd at 10:00am PDT or receive the recording. We will be exploring and healing the sisterhood wound. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/462612261286326/ or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/womensgroupcalls

Jelelle Awen is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

Quantum Streams Available For Healing: Magdalene, Reptilian, and Divine Orphan Wounds

By Jelelle Awen

Three energy streams on the higher soul family monad and collective unconscious levels seem to be coming through for healing at the same time during this already VERY catalytic 2020. I am experiencing these myself, moving and processing in and out of them and also in sessions lately.

We can choose which one or ones most resonant for us and are the most timely in the moment. These ‘streams’ are invitations to feel into YOUR personal process related to them….beyond linear time, beyond ‘past lives’, your soul participates in fragment/aspect expressions that are ultimately connected to the bigger whole or your Metasoul/Higher Self. 

One of the energy streams is the healing and revealing of the Magdalene consciousness. For ‘her’ to emerge and arise out of the distortion and suppression by the wounded masculine (as was the agreement on the higher level) and into her powerful expression balanced with feminine stillness, compassion, kindness, and empathy. Magdalene is not just one soul (Mary of Bethany or Magdala) as sacred mate to Yeshua, yet an order of Magdalenes, initiates in the mystical gnostic arts of Isis. I’ll be sharing more about this and offering a guided meditation to connect to your Magdalene lineage soon.

You may be feeling the Magdalene piece coming through in waves of outrage, distrust of the Masculine, and need to express your truth, especially if there has been suppression in your life. Energies in the womb/sacral area can be rumbling, shifting menstrual cycles and hormone levels and in the solar plexus chakra as well. If you have been drawn to the Magdalene-Yeshua timeline and studied it, discovering your soul’s involvement in it can be helpful for the next level of healing and soul gift expression/service here.

The other energy stream is the revelation of the Reptilian ‘twinning’ overlay reality onto ours. They are plugged into their AI, 4D Control Matrix and seem to act as ‘spark plugs’ and bridges for our human projection into the 3D Matrix. We are entwined with our Reptilian Self and our Ascension/liberation is intimately connected to theirs. The next step in this ambassadorship process can be to connect with your Reptilian Self directly, which I offer in guided meditation here: https://youtu.be/pA7ZjZj2K8M 

I’ve mentioned before about head/neck/shoulder pain associated with the Reptilian Self related to possible caps over the crown/third eye chakras. And a plug into their Matrix at the back of the head or Causal Chakra area. You may also be dreaming of Reptilians and having interactions with reptiles in some way. This is the ‘next level’ healing that occurs as you awaken to the reality of the Matrix construct and desire to move beyond the rage, shock, stigma, etc. and into ambassadorship that allows for mutual liberation.

Also, there is the feeling and healing of our Inner Divine Orphan. This is the part of us in our Metasoul that has abandonment pain from separating out from the Divine at the Soul Family Monad level and into individuated consciousness. This part is connected to the original wound feeling of being cast out from Oneness. The downstream expressions of this aspect are the more 3D-based, this-life Inner Child and the 4D Star Seed Child. 

Working with the Inner Child for 15 years, I see and feel now with myself and others this deeper layer…the REASON for the pain, hurt, shyness, shame, and more that expresses as the wounded child in this life and other lifetimes. Our Inner Orphans can receive the homecoming they most need in the arms of the Divine again. I’ll be offering a meditation to connect with the Inner Orphan soon.

There is a texture of PTSD symptoms to our Inner Orphans and feelings of anxiety and being deeply hurt can be quite strong. If this is coming through for you, it will feel like not just connected to this-life circumstances yet something much deeper at the soul level. This seems to be coming up for those who have done deeper levels of Inner Child work.

As you read about these streams, your soul will guide you toward what is most timely for you in this Now. There is an opportunity to make this very personal and to connect/see/feel directly how your soul is involved in these streams. SO much can be transmuted with love during this time of our Ascension and NEEDS to be in order for it to progress and continue. These timeline streams are opening up to us as the veils lift and thin out, revealing our TRUE multidimensional natures.

What you feel and discover on a personal level vibrates out into the collective where we are all ONE. Whether it is responding to your Magdalene timeline, your Reptilian Self or your Inner Orphan, the love you offer and extend carries out into the All to be received!

I am currently writing three books to offer an overview of the quantum healing process and way of life that we offer called SoulFullHeart, these will provide a deeper context and information beyond what can be provided in short postings. Along with more guided meditations/videos and eventually online courses that can open up inner access, I provide support and individual bridging to women in 1:1 sessions and Raphael Awen to men and women. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions 

Much love,

Jelelle Awen 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.