The Opposites You Feel Inside Are A Portal To The Oneness You Are

By Raphael Awen

Experiencing and feeling what you don’t want is actually what’s key to experiencing what you do want.

To the degree you feel depressed is actually testament to your native capacity for enthusiasm, creativity and divine play.

To the degree you know what it is to feel anxiety, speaks to your natural ability for radiating deep trust, rest and security in relationship to yourself, others, and beyond.

The presence of the negative is the evidence of and testament to the presence and reality of the positive. One relies on the other for its existence. 

This tug-of-war polarity and tension between what you desire and what you actually experience is the pathway into navigating between the two in the direction you want to go. You are like this anti-gravitic travel device in this way that can dial up both gravity and levity to create movement. Knowing one allows you to know the other.

You wouldn’t even be able to feel tension, were it not for rest. You couldn’t feel love were it not for fear. You couldn’t feel trust were it not for anxiety. 

These polarities seem like opposites, they seem ‘opposed’ to one another. While they have polarity, they are not separate or opposed in the way we think of separation or opposition. They come from the same source, making them two expressions of oneness. No ‘opposition’ per se’, just polarity, the likes of which make for great romance.

All of this is flowing from the oneness that you are, that you came from, and that you are returning to. You are already perfect, just maybe not in the way a part of you defined perfection. 

If this is true, then what?

Then,….you are being invited to embrace the opposite, the thing that is ‘opposing’ the thing you want. It’s a magical doorway into the thing you want, an invitation instead of an opposition.

You can now choose to explore what you feared exploring, what you deemed off limits and parked in secluded shadow, to then have more and more arising felt experience of your true essence in your everyday life. 

Sounds like magic and play to me! 

Begin to really dream of the life you want. See it, feel it. Feel it deeply in contrast to fully feeling the life you presently have, but long to change. Especially feel and don’t deny the parts of you who just can’t see it, who just can’t get excited just yet. 

GET CURIOUS, open your heart to all that is inside of you. Enter the darkness. It is your magical portal into the infinite magic of being that you are!

I can tell you personally, that I no longer experience the unaddressed and avoided layers of anxiety or depression or shame that I once did. Where these things once lived in my life is now the presence of deep trust and arising creativity, and very meaningful and deepening self worth. This doesn’t mean I am without challenge. Duality still provides me with the tension between what I have and what I want. That’s called appetite, always moving between satiation and desire. 

What’s cool about this is that the courage it took to face and love my depression and anxiety is the same template for how I live in the moment of every day. What need is arising now? How can I embrace that need! Where is love wanting to flow and be felt? 

What largesse of my being is wanting to engage it’s next step into the world of infinite love and infinite possibility?

We are this crazy hot stuff, only reeling from how magical we are, how infinite we are, how full of love we are. Everything ‘else’ isn’t anything ‘else’, it’s all the same pointing to the oneness we are inside, outside and collectively.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Please consider joining Jelelle Awen, myself and others for Free To Be Two – our soon upcoming six week group call series held on Wednesdays (May 20th to June 24). These two hour group calls have been very transformative and healing for those who participated. A donation of any amount gets you the Zoom link to join as well as the recordings of each meeting in case you’re not able to attend. They’re also a great way to get introduced to SoulFullHeart if you’d like to. You can get more info and sign up here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 I really hope you can join us.

Welcoming The Peaks And Valleys Of Awakening

by Raphael Awen

You can have what you want. That’s not actually the question.

The bigger question is about being ready to have what you want.

A part of you may readily say ‘oh, believe me, I’m ready! I’m so ready, I’m getting both depressed and impatient waiting to have what I really want.’

But this is only taking into consideration one part of you. Other parts of you can be just off your radar and actively resisting you (or what we call ‘you’) as they are not interested at all in these big changes ‘you’ feel you are so ready for. This resistive part of you is not something you can control, but it is something that you are responsible for, and something that you need to become responsive to.

Then, there is also another aspect of you, that is probably also just off your radar and that is your higher self. Your higher self may have chosen a preferred path of difficulty and going without something that another part of you deeply desires in order to learn and grow through a difficulty. It wouldn’t actually be a growth crucible without this tension between what ‘you’ want and don’t want. Your higher self is also something you cannot control, but it is something you are responsible for and that you also need to become more responsive to.

You are not a victim. Your life as you know it now is shaped by you, and the life you will come to know in the future is also shaped by you.

Your life as it is right now, warts and all, is perfect in the midst of imperfection. You are perfect while growing and learning. All the angst, pain and confusion is sacred. You had so much heaven that you needed to dial up hell in order to grow. Your soul loved the heaven it knew, but it also wanted more, and it knew the path to more was though the tension of less.

Consciously letting go of reaching for peak experiences and instead welcoming your awaiting valley experiences is what your soul may be asking of you. You may have very much needed your awakening experiences that happened through the peak experiences to let you know what is possible and what awaits you. But now, your soul wants you to let go of what a part of you may be be in danger of becoming quite addicted to, in order now to more consciously connect to what you actually came here for.

Whether conscious or not, you can’t escape growth. Growth is built into the DNA of the universe that you are a part of. While you can’t escape growth, you can accept your awakening to what is, and even the need to mourn the loss of your deep night’s rest in the 3D fusion of unconsciousness.

Now, as you are awakening, you are offered a conscious choice that your path up, is a path down. The downward path is a matter of feeling all there is to feel that you were not able to feel while asleep in 3D consciousness.

This will involve feeling crappy on a regular basis for a good amount of time. If this isn’t an option for ‘you’, then you are not yet ready for this deeper more conscious path of healing, but you can be assured, all of us will be invited and re-invited to return here just as soon and we are ready to. It is what we came here for. We came here to ascend with all of us, without any ‘lesser’ parts of us left behind being punished for any insubordination, or for just not getting the program.

Time now to look at what we’ve called ‘spiritual practices’ to feel where they are actually about transcending in the name of ascending, where they are about not feeling, rather than true healing.

We all come eventually to having what we most deeply want, with the fullest and deepest bliss that we can’t quite imagine. We are living our way to being able to imagine it as we feel and heal the parts of us still in deep pain that were covered over with our positive spirituality agendas.

Time now for a negative spirituality agenda that sees it all as sacred.

Raphael Awen

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Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Law Of Attraction: Being, Healing, Receiving

by Kalayna Colibri

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Yesterday, I was sweetly asked by someone to share my thoughts on the Law of Attraction, based on a Facebook post I reshared from last year. The original post was a very short letter to the Universe, declaring only a couple of things I really, really wanted… one of them was a new laptop, the other a new cellphone and the third was a sacred union romance. I haven’t typically been someone to create vision boards or set goals or even write letters such as this one. I remember that when I wrote it, I was riding high on an influx of energy from having spent quality time with beloveds the day before. We in SoulFullHeart love to feel and talk about our desires and to feel the possibilities alive in them, though of course we also feel the trailing edge reality around this for parts of us who are fearful or anxious about ‘not getting what they want’.

When I reshared this year-old post, I did so to celebrate that these three desires actually DID come true. It was very sweet to feel this for several reasons, one being that for most people who earn much money, buying something like a new laptop or phone wouldn’t take them a whole year to manifest. In fact, the way so many still live is for instant gratification, trying to satisfy needs, wants and desires as soon as possible, so that the journey to actually living these desires out is as short as possible. It becomes a medication for the parts who actually feel that nothing will ever be enough for them, especially when what they really want underneath the desire for ‘things’ is love… the second reason is what this post proved to a part of me that doesn’t always trust in the Universe or the Divine or even me as the one who is holding and feeling her. Yes, it may have taken about a year to see these desires to fruition in my life, yet they did arrive and the work to bring them in happened both intentionally and unintentionally, meaning that without being directly dedicated to ‘finding’ or ‘accomplishing’, I focused my work within, as I always do. There isn’t anything we can truly control when it comes to getting what we most deeply want. Money, it feels like, can offer the 3D self a false sense of control, as do books and practices like ‘The Secret’. It really isn’t up to you to manifest what you feel you want most in your life. And it isn’t the fault of parts of you if it hasn’t manifested yet, either. So much of this is simply not up to us, and that is VERY humbling to let in…

When I went into meditation with Kuan Yin this morning, I asked her to feel the Law of Attraction with me. She had me feel my mind and my heart, both. I realized that my mind focuses on logistics and doesn’t FEEL the desire so much as thinks long and hard about how to ‘make’ it happen and all of the obstacles or problems that may ‘get in the way’, including money, of course. My heart, however, feels the desires, feels the possibilities, and gets lit up by them or doesn’t. I feel it’s the ‘lit up’ feeling within, that sends out beacons of possibility and draw and also gives the sense of what is most deeply desired, versus what is only a whim or vague possibility. The energy we hold around all possibility is a big part of drawing it to us… do parts of us or Metasoul aspects feel despair about wanting a sacred union romance? Do they feel as if they will never get what they want in a material or emotional way? Are they trying to transcend these trailing edge feelings and wanting to only feel that it’s possible? We draw mixed experiences to us as needed, to help us see and feel these parts more and more.

Perhaps it’s a matter of ‘gestation’ rather than ‘manifestation’, as Kuan Yin offered to me that ‘being’ your way and feeling your way to your desires is really the only path to bringing them in, at least when it comes to the deeper ones. Drawing in a sacred union romance is about BEing, giving space to parts of you, healing your way to it. Finding yourself a new cellphone or laptop can feel just as magical as letting in a romance if the time is taken to be and feel your way there and not necessarily ‘take action’ or ‘set goals’. The same could be set for weight loss or money-earning. There is so much to be and be with as we become… as we continue to shift inside of ourselves through the inner excavation process of deep feeling that we offer in SoulFullHeart.  As we do so, the steps unfold and alignment happens in an organic, flowing, flowering way, especially in these days of ramped-up Ascension energies, where this is becoming the reality more and more easily as our energies continue to move upward.

Attracting or drawing what we most want, begins with feeling the wants, working our way to feeling what’s real about them and what deeper desires could be underneath them, helping us detach from the outcome in humble surrender. We are brilliant co-creators as arising sacred humans, work consciously and unconsciously in tandem with energies in the multi-verse inside and outside of us, and those around us who fill us up with love while we offer and BE the same to and with them. If it’s really about love underneath it all, then love is what needs to be present in our hearts, in an ever-deepening way through our healing, in order to truly reach those heights of BEing that we feel called to bring in, in whatever form or fabric that takes in our unfolding 3D-5D reality consciousness. ❤

If you wish to learn more about the SoulFullHeart process, visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess for more information.

Also, THIS coming Sunday, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube! Check it out, starting at 11:11am CST (Mexico City).

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.