healing from birth family – SoulFullHeart Experience

A fun and joyful day out in Coimbra, a sweet and lively university town near us

I have been in the orbit and a part of SoulFullHeart for three years now, though I initially calibrated for six months before I had my first session with Jelelle. One day she just showed up on my Facebook and taking in one post after the other, I quickly became convinced she was speaking directly about me and to me at the same time. Over the years I’ve had the unique opportunity and experience of being facilitated by every single Facilitator in SoulFullHeart. It was very clear from the beginning that “this” was “it” for me. I finally found what I had been looking for all my life. In just how many ways that is true, I’m learning now every day as a part of the community in the physical.

I joined Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kasha to live with them on a campground in northern Portugal at the beginning of August this year. About a month and a half ago, we moved to central Portugal, to quite a remote little village called Folques. While the campground was sort of a ‘honeymoon phase’ and sniffing each other out, the new phase brought a lot of intense initiations for me, inner and outer, which I bravely walked out and am now getting to the other side of. A week and a half ago, Raianna, who has been connected to SoulFullHeart for many years, joined us all here in Portugal too after completing her life in Canada. For Halloween, we dressed up and had a little gathering.

Gabriel & Kasha dressed up for Halloween

The veils are thin right now and for me personally, I particularly feel that in my ongoing process of differentiating from my persona-based ‘Bianca part’, as the current energies push up so much illumination of her and support for me to keep differentiating. For a number of years now I have been doing ‘parts work’ with SoulFullHeart and working with parts of the self. Over the years I have discovered and felt many parts of myself, differentiated from them and integrated them. This has led me to a new and deeper layer of this work, held by the soul family container and the relationship with myself. It has led me to recognize that ‘Bianca’, my birth name, had become a part herself, and a corresponding new energy had been discovered and cultured through all this inner work. This new energy/being is able to hold all parts of myself, soul explorations/metasoul aspects, soul family community, and life choices. I have decided to call this new arising energy, ‘Bey Magdalene’. One version of the name ‘Bianca’, which is Italian and means white/pure/bright light, is ‘Beyonca’ (same pronunciation) and I am feeling to go with the short version of it, Bey (pronounced like ‘bee’) for now and claim it as a transitory name until a soul name comes through. The surname ‘Magdalene’ I have chosen in honor of my soul family origins and connection to the Magdalene/Essene lineage in honor and humble claim of my connection to my beloved Soul Family in SoulFullHeart. It feels important to let go of the entire waveform of my former name as it holds all of the birth family relationships/biography/woundings, social and romantic relationships, job navigations, and life as I have known it really, in order to keep arising into the New.

Priestess energies coming through for Halloween

Differentiating from this persona-based part and everything she has been holding, including her relationship to this life, the process itself, and others, is a deep service to and honoring of me, her, and others too who feel drawn to this work and community as well.

It REALLY is NOT easy to feel everything that is going on inside in every moment, move through it, and come out the other side of it. And sometimes, all we can do is fuse to the emotional world of our parts. Yet ALL of this process is sacred and held, supported and guided by the Soul and the Divine Self, if you choose this path of utmost soul growth and deeply nourishing and resonant soul family community. I am feeling, after all these years of dedicated inner work, a deep trust in this process and myself and that it all is truly perfect as it unfolds and keeps unfolding. And to me, trust in oneself is the hottest currency out there, especially right now in these volatile and intense times.

Much Love,

Bey Magdalene

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Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Community Member. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

By Jelelle Awen

love_on_plate

The family dinner table….you adjust to the awkwardness, the things left unsaid. You learn to hide the REAL feelings that come up as you pass the ‘this’ and the ‘that’. You ignore the tensions that ride and glide under every unspoken truth. You hope to remain unseen and safe in an effort to just ‘get through.’

So much you cannot share here…..as there is no room! You put it back in the closet then, far away, as it has no ‘place’. Your truth, your essence cannot be worn or shown. The food has more room then you do as it serves to distract from the disconnect that seems to season everything with flatness.

No wonder parts of you struggle to digest and to eat! No wonder you never really feel full! No wonder you are left wanting SO MUCH more than what you received! No wonder parts of doubt if you will EVER really get what you most want and really need!

So many meals left with rumbling heart still aching for the food of LOVE. So many meals sat with unexpressed fears and unshed tears. So many meals started with hopes and desires only to be left disappointed. So many meals with unacknowledged elephants sitting in the chairs.

Conforming and ‘fitting in’, putting on the mask and learn to wear it well…..avoiding anything ‘deep’ or ‘too heavy’, helping to steer the conversation away from the real or the true or the difficult to say out loud. Parts of you become experts at this dance and this ‘game’ because they HAVE HAD to be. This is survival of the ‘fittest’, those who can perform in this play acting out, those who can BE on this stage….. have the best chance of ‘making it’ and ‘succeeding.’

Yet, oh how WEARY of this are the parts of you that have shrunk to this place for so long! The masks are slipping off, half gone, one side unstrung and hanging loose. Your soul bright light is starting to SHINE through. Your truth is starting to BURST forward. You don’t want to be passed around so lightly any more You don’t want to be passed over. To be disregarded or seen without curiousity is becoming no longer interesting to you.

You are pushing away from this family dinner table. You are reaching your hand out to help parts of you leave it too that are ‘stuck’ there, even if it has been many years ago. You are opening your heart to hold the fears and tensions and anxieties that come up from leaving the ‘safety’ of this game. You are letting go of reacting to what other’s judge or think or feel about you.

You are open, now, to finding the table of your soul tribe. To taking in the meals of nourishing love in every bite, every exchange, every moment of BEing in the real. All is spoken out, revealed, and shared as THAT is what is most nourishing and, ultimately, most natural. Curiosity and reverence are passed around as the currency that spends between this family. All parts of you come forward to be seen, to be felt, and to be acknowledged.

THIS is the new earth experience of ‘family dinner’, of the gathering together where we offer new energy to a common ritual. THIS is the transition from the old and what so many of us have known and INTO the NEW, where realness is the spice and love flavors every bite.

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.