Tag: inner orphan

Meeting Your Divine Self – Our Journey From & Back To Source

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By  Raphael Awen

The farther we journey from source, the greater is our return to source where we are enabled to experience it for the first time.

This is the homecoming that you and I are now in, even as parts of us feel like the separation is growing.

It’s no longer the separation that’s growing, but rather your awareness of it that is increasing.

This week has been marked for me with another reunion with my Divine Orphan self that was triggered by some arising life circumstances, inviting the conditioned-to-this-life parts of me to feel and see this divine orphan self. I’m finding the beholding of this part again to be so moving and deeply rewarding, that answers the deeper questions at hand about the feelings of separation.

We were all initiated out of divine source into experience itself, and this experience needed to begin with what was not source. All of the fears, anxieties and depression we carry hearken back to our being birthed out of our divine bliss/oneness/source essence.

In this, we all were implanted with a great core wound, a wound that would underlie everything we would come to label as neurosis, things wrong with us. All of our attachments and quarrels within and without stem from this wound. But this pain and burden we carry is not only a wound that hurts, it is also an opening, a portal back, back to our true essence.

Your true essence is not conditioned by the conditionings of fear and lack that were needful for the experience journey. Your essence hasn’t participated here in the hijacked, 3D, matrixed, realm. Your essence remained untouched and protected from all of that.

The godhood you long for, you actually still possess and never lost. You just took on the experience of forgetting and of losing. In experience, you did lose divine connection and it hurts like the hell that it is. In essence though, you never lost a single thing. You are both experience and essence. More correctly, you are essence that took on experience.

You set out not to discover faraway lands, but to leave the land of your origin, so that you could return to it and discover it for the first time. As essence, you couldn’t know or feel or appreciate that essence and bliss. Bliss was left wanting to be known and felt and experienced. It was a risky endeavor, but your soul and the divine’s decided to fund this great discovery journey into reverence, awe and wonder.

As the increasing awareness of this separation rumbles in your life, you feel a fever pitch of everything coming apart at the seams. Everything you’ve worked so hard for to make experiential life bearable or even good comes now at this stage to be found to be not enough. In reaction, you may work harder as I have on gratitude and whatever other host of self-prescriptions to attempt to right your relation-ship with life, only to find they are not at all effective like they were before.

What the hell is happening?

You are beginning the return part of your journey home. You are sailing in the opposite direction. You are returning from where you came and the way you came. The return voyage has been negotiated through many lifetimes and so many experiences and you are ready now, equipped and prepared for the return.

The conditioning of lack and scarcity that you onboarded in your journey into experience is still here, and at times feels strangely and troublingly magnified. But this is all to be expected as you are called to feel and reconcile all the parts of you that are adjusting to returning to source – such a different experience than journeying away from source.

Now, you begin to get a sense of how sacred this forgotten core wound opening is. It is the one thing that would guarantee your return to divine source experientially. Your messed-up-ness is actually your perfection expressing and calling out to you. Each arising pain and ache is an intrinsic part of  the ongoing guidance as you restore to each part of you the pieces of their birthright that they are ready to feel.

Your preferences for pleasure over pain are a key part of your being human and of restoring your humanity with your divinity. You are invited not to bypass them any longer in the name of some kind of medicative spiritual practice. You chose to experience. You chose to want and to need. Those wants and those needs will need to be courageously owned and embraced if this voyage is to be completed successfully and on time (and in time).

As you witness the great fever pitch of insanity unfolding around you, ask yourself if you can think of any greater contribution to such a distress call than that of saving yourself, deeply choosing and embracing your own return journey home.

As you continue your return journey home as one being, you are reminding the oneness that we all are and share of this remembrance journey. Those around you in the forgetting phase will need your example when the time of their remembering comes, just as you needed it from others.

May we each embrace the perfection that we are amidst all that seems and feels so imperfect. May we set up a heart home with a great hearth of the warmth that will allow the fullest remembering.

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Meeting Your Inner Orphan

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@benwhitephotography

By Raphael Awen

What we relate to as suffering, the Divine is passionately interested in. Divinity knew bliss, but had no sense of challenge or difficulty; and thus, no movement.

We feel something as deeply moving because that something flows in between the familiar tension we hold in our being of bliss and it’s loss.

We are the Divine out experiencing movement, growth, challenge and difficulty, all of which the Divine couldn’t know or feel were it not for its choice and our souls agreement to individuate itself into many gods – you and I.

Yes, you and I are saddled with godhood. And this explains our base tones of anxiety and fear. We knew and hold in our being remembrance of there being no separation, no veil of forgetting, no sense of any paradise lost.

This past week, I had a very moving encounter where I felt that it was time for me to formally meet my Inner Orphan Self – this core aspect of my soul who holds all of these tensions; this core aspect of my soul, out of which is born in this life, the Inner Child and Inner Teenager – both of whom are shaped and formed from the Inner Orphan soul aspect.

I simply tuned in Yeshua as a beloved guide, and dialed in a Golden Earth setting, and there in the magical outdoors, was Yeshua crouched down about 8 or 10 feet away, holding upright a (soon to be) eager toddler, who he then let go, as this beautiful baby focused his gaze on me and began to take his first steps crossing the space between us. Midway across, the name Bartholomew came as plain as day. I received him into my arms, and he readily received me. I intuitively knew that this Bartholomew would change my life, that holding him would require all the rigors of true parenthood and presence of being that this Orphan would need to transmute the pain in his heart, allowing both him and I to shift our destiny and to embody what we intended when we set out on our journey of ‘leaving’ the Divine.

This ache of loss held in the Inner Orphan soul aspect is the juice and the portal back to full embodiment, full familiarity, full familial fidelity. We long to return to soar in the heavens and so the Divine gives us the role of parent, re-parenting our own soul aspects as the very portal back to that which we lost only in experience, reassuring us that we never lost the actual possession or birthright of our full godhood.

In the days that followed this experience, I have surely felt a conscious vulnerability and arising of base fears and anxieties, along with deep tears – feeling so small. I have also felt a ‘me’ there who could handle and show up for all of it, as well as the Divine’s confidence in me and gratitude to me for my desire and willingness – that even now as I write these words, I feel a welling up of this support and energy.

I offer support and space holding and process within session space as a SoulFullHeart facilitator to others who wish to undertake such a journey, but it isn’t from any expert place of one who has ‘healed’ their anxiety and thus who has transcended their anxiety, or their depression, or their fear, but rather as one who has welcomed their fear, anxiety and depression. Quite the opposite, at many times, embracing this portal into pain has left parts of me seriously wondering if I hadn’t bit off more than I could chew. I can tell you that time and time again, I continue to come out the other side into newfound joy and range of being – what I see and feel as real transmutation of my being. This in turn only appetizes me for more and makes any ‘attainment’ look and feel like kindergarten all over again as I feel like a bigger beginner every time some ground or embodiment is gained.

Isn’t that what is really to be expected in an infinite love reality? Any and all progress measurement is swallowed up by love’s infinity. You get to be in infinite love if you’re willing to give up your stamp of certification of being anything other than part of this infinity. Certificates only look good on really boring office walls anyway. I’d so much rather know and feel real adventure out in the forest, the city and Golden Earth, with Yeshua, the Divine Mother, and The Divine Father.

Look for me and Bartholomew out and about feeling love and life anew in many ways for the first time. His name meaning is ‘Son of the Ploughman’ which so surprised me as I felt the plough as that which opens and prepares the earth to receive seed – it is through our wounding that the divine seed enters – ensuring that we will never lose our way – even through the deepest loss imaginable. We are ensured that all consciousness is finding its way back to all that it ever was and even being expanded out to more in the process.

That kind of starts to explain the hell you’ve journeyed through, or quite possibly feel like you are journeying through right now, yes? Doesn’t this speak also to the part of you who is more set on only ‘moving forward’ who doesn’t want to cry over spilt milk, who doesn’t want to get lost again in the world of feeling? This part of you will also need your showing up to negotiate the exploration and true healing journey your soul came here to undertake.

My truth is that we all individuated out of the Divine and came here to feel it all, even to get lost in it, so that we could be found by love, and in so doing, be truly of the greatest service to all of love and life.

Thank you for feeling me and for feeling yourself. 🙂💚😇

Much love,
Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂

Quantum Streams Available For Healing: Magdalene, Reptilian, and Divine Orphan Wounds

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Three energy streams on the higher soul family monad and collective unconscious levels seem to be coming through for healing at the same time during this already VERY catalytic 2020. I am experiencing these myself, moving and processing in and out of them and also in sessions lately.

We can choose which one or ones most resonant for us and are the most timely in the moment. These ‘streams’ are invitations to feel into YOUR personal process related to them….beyond linear time, beyond ‘past lives’, your soul participates in fragment/aspect expressions that are ultimately connected to the bigger whole or your Metasoul/Higher Self. 

One of the energy streams is the healing and revealing of the Magdalene consciousness. For ‘her’ to emerge and arise out of the distortion and suppression by the wounded masculine (as was the agreement on the higher level) and into her powerful expression balanced with feminine stillness, compassion, kindness, and empathy. Magdalene is not just one soul (Mary of Bethany or Magdala) as sacred mate to Yeshua, yet an order of Magdalenes, initiates in the mystical gnostic arts of Isis. I’ll be sharing more about this and offering a guided meditation to connect to your Magdalene lineage soon.

You may be feeling the Magdalene piece coming through in waves of outrage, distrust of the Masculine, and need to express your truth, especially if there has been suppression in your life. Energies in the womb/sacral area can be rumbling, shifting menstrual cycles and hormone levels and in the solar plexus chakra as well. If you have been drawn to the Magdalene-Yeshua timeline and studied it, discovering your soul’s involvement in it can be helpful for the next level of healing and soul gift expression/service here.

The other energy stream is the revelation of the Reptilian ‘twinning’ overlay reality onto ours. They are plugged into their AI, 4D Control Matrix and seem to act as ‘spark plugs’ and bridges for our human projection into the 3D Matrix. We are entwined with our Reptilian Self and our Ascension/liberation is intimately connected to theirs. The next step in this ambassadorship process can be to connect with your Reptilian Self directly, which I offer in guided meditation here: https://youtu.be/pA7ZjZj2K8M 

I’ve mentioned before about head/neck/shoulder pain associated with the Reptilian Self related to possible caps over the crown/third eye chakras. And a plug into their Matrix at the back of the head or Causal Chakra area. You may also be dreaming of Reptilians and having interactions with reptiles in some way. This is the ‘next level’ healing that occurs as you awaken to the reality of the Matrix construct and desire to move beyond the rage, shock, stigma, etc. and into ambassadorship that allows for mutual liberation.

Also, there is the feeling and healing of our Inner Divine Orphan. This is the part of us in our Metasoul that has abandonment pain from separating out from the Divine at the Soul Family Monad level and into individuated consciousness. This part is connected to the original wound feeling of being cast out from Oneness. The downstream expressions of this aspect are the more 3D-based, this-life Inner Child and the 4D Star Seed Child. 

Working with the Inner Child for 15 years, I see and feel now with myself and others this deeper layer…the REASON for the pain, hurt, shyness, shame, and more that expresses as the wounded child in this life and other lifetimes. Our Inner Orphans can receive the homecoming they most need in the arms of the Divine again. I’ll be offering a meditation to connect with the Inner Orphan soon.

There is a texture of PTSD symptoms to our Inner Orphans and feelings of anxiety and being deeply hurt can be quite strong. If this is coming through for you, it will feel like not just connected to this-life circumstances yet something much deeper at the soul level. This seems to be coming up for those who have done deeper levels of Inner Child work.

As you read about these streams, your soul will guide you toward what is most timely for you in this Now. There is an opportunity to make this very personal and to connect/see/feel directly how your soul is involved in these streams. SO much can be transmuted with love during this time of our Ascension and NEEDS to be in order for it to progress and continue. These timeline streams are opening up to us as the veils lift and thin out, revealing our TRUE multidimensional natures.

What you feel and discover on a personal level vibrates out into the collective where we are all ONE. Whether it is responding to your Magdalene timeline, your Reptilian Self or your Inner Orphan, the love you offer and extend carries out into the All to be received!

I am currently writing three books to offer an overview of the quantum healing process and way of life that we offer called SoulFullHeart, these will provide a deeper context and information beyond what can be provided in short postings. Along with more guided meditations/videos and eventually online courses that can open up inner access, I provide support and individual bridging to women in 1:1 sessions and Raphael Awen to men and women. More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions 

Much love,

Jelelle Awen 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

 

 

 

 

To The Inner Child/Orphan Inside

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

To the little one inside,

The lost one that wants to be found,

The sad one that wants to be happy,

The hurt one that wants to forgive,

The earth bound one that wants to be in the stars,

The sensitive one that feels EVERYONE and EVERYTHING around them,

The overwhelmed one surrounded by energies they don’t understand,

The merging one that doesn’t understand boundaries,

The receptive one that accepts whatever truth offered to them.

To this precious one inside of you….

You are feeling their fears, easing their anxieties, and becoming a reassuring presence that they’ve always wanted.

You are shining the light on all the monsters under the bed to reveal the friends waiting there in the shadows.

You are offering the softest embraces, the kindest words, and the deepest unconditional love.

To the orphan inside of you…

You are becoming a healthy, consistent, and supportive parent.

You are healing from the wounded mother/father energies that were passed down to you through your family line. 

You are becoming the comforting authority that they most deserve and desire.

You are offering a home inside of your own heart where they can finally feel claimed.

 ~

This is inspired by the beautiful and vulnerable inner children receiving love, attention and care (sometimes for the first time) that I’ve been blessed to provide a bridge to connect with in sessions, here during our Equinox gathering/retreat that is going on now, and inside of myself.

Another aspect of my inner orphan child is coming up for attention and love during the gathering in response to the goodness of serving more in the physical with a group of ten souls moving into deeper healing waters. She is tucking more into my heart each day as she feels the resonance in others who have the same lost children inside of them that are now receiving love. I am so glad to feel her, to discover another layer of her in myself, and to love her. I feel the trust, softness, and preciousness she holds and that I then get to express with others.

As we feel the innocent and tender energies that the inner Protector, the Inner Mother/Father, the Inner Punisher are all guarding and protecting…..as they can interface more with our reality and with others, these parts of us can heal and integrate. They become our crystal children….free, magical, curious, and deeply compassionate. They sit in the seat of our higher heart and power our merkabahs.

As they find a home inside of us that they have never known, they become a bridge to our star family ‘home’ frequencies that we’ve been missing and longing for. Their bravery is able to lead us forward on many multidimensional journeys and discoveries!

Here is guided meditation to connect to your inner child:

https://youtu.be/L_bpgyIuYds

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Join me for a women’s group on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom where we will explore sacred arising feminine energies which definitely include healing of our inner wounded daughters and relationship with our inner mothers too. You can purchase the zoom link here to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email – https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/sacred-feminine-exploration-women-s-group-calls-jelelle-awen

Or you can purchase it here through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will send you the zoom link via email.