On my current quest of Soul, I found myself on the other side of a ravine having just crossed a bridge that was inspired by one of Jelelle Awen’’s meditations a couple of days ago. Alongside me is my Protector/Gatekeeper named Rogan. He is feeling like the Lewis to my Clark for all you American history buffs. Or the Marco to my Polo. However you want to relate to it. We are a team, and he is there to help me access the areas in my emotional and spiritual body that is in need to be felt or related to for any reason.
This morning I had a hit in my heart from an old part of me that I have worked with in the past that goes by my birth name Chris. He was the part of me that related to life before awakening. More of a 3D interface at times, but now feels to hold a more 4D inner teenager energy. I felt just to go with the intuition and check in with him.
There were some remaining tears about the way he lived life and wish that it could have been different. Not really regret or shame, but just a sweet remorse. Leftover remnants that needed to be felt apparently as I continue this journey. I then felt his longing and ache for a father energy that was different than what he was raised with. This felt really tender and very poignant as a man delving deeper into soul and heart.
What I got from this experience is that as we heal in order to ascend (it does not happen with some effort), there are layers in the emotional body that need our attention. As a man, one of the more sacred layers is that of our inner teenager and his relationship to his father. This feels true for women as well. The wounded teenager holds so much of our relationship to all sorts of life be it sacred or mundane. It wanted and needed so much for sacred initiation by a masculine that had his own healing and quest of soul as a priority. Unfortunately, many of us did not get that. What we can feel is that we got the best they could give us even if it wasn’t much or quite a bit.
I felt the Divine Father come into our space together offering Chris his heart and an invitation to be held and supported by Him. We would co-lead an initiation together and heal the remaining reactions to a life that is increasingly in the rearview. Tears flowed at the possibilities to heal and experience what he had always wanted. This is the hallmark of transmutative healing from the inside out.
So now Chris is on this epic quest with me as I continue to retrace my steps back to Self, Soul, and Service. He remains an integral part of my inner world, as do all inner teenagers. As a man, this will open out into a deeper connection with inner masculine guides that will all be a part of the awakening and arising sacred masculine within us all.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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