Tag: divine guidance

Premise 5: God Is Everything And Everyone

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

godsurrenderBy Raphael Awen

Welcome to Day 5 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour’ for the awakening heart and soul.

This is a tour of the 21 Premises that make up the emotional and spiritual consciousness expansion work called SoulFullHeart. It’s an opportunity to find out what’s at core of this work, and to feel how that resonates with what’s at your core, or doesn’t. You can read all of my writing on our premises here.

If this is your first day, jump in, and again, welcome. Pick a seat that looks like it has your name on it. I see several that you might like. πŸ™‚
In the four days we’ve already toured, we’ve covered some really important stuff, but you can jump in here, and you’ll know if your drawn or not to go back and read those days.

Today’s premise is called the God Premise. And it goes like this:

“God/The Divine is everything and everyone; each of us is an expression of It with no being any higher than any other. Realization of our God self expression is the ultimate goal of our life and incarnational cycles.”

Possibly nothing is as life shaping as ones’ God picture. We all have one, and no one has any absolute truth on it. Claiming absolute truth only makes you an absolute fool in my view as only a fool can’t see his own lens with which he looks at all of life, thereby rendering any absolute truth he may be looking at, subjective.

This is my current God-picture. It may well change and when it does, I’ll be the first to admit that. I feel this picture more than I believe it. Like everything else I’m saying in this tour, none of it is more than ‘near as I can tell.’ It feels real to me. It is what is moving through me currently as in an electrical energy current.
Let’s take a look at it.

Like we said the other day, everything is energy, and here we’re saying it a little differently. Everything is energy, and all this energy is God. There is nothing outside of God. Even the so-called arch-enemies of the Divine are all within the Divine. All energy is also love’s energy.

This God energy lives in every cell of your being, in every thought, desire, joy, and sorrow. You cannot become any more ‘God’ than you already are in the sense of your essence. Essentially, you are as ‘God as it gets.’ Experientially, however, you and I have a long road ahead of us, as this God-love energy is Infinite. It doesn’t have a beginning or ending, so actually the word ‘long’ in this case is a silly word, so forget I said, that if you can.

I’m liking the idea though of a never ending love journey without a destination. It’s admittedly a bit hard to grasp, but plenty of fun trying.

How about this next piece? No one or no thing is any higher than the other. Whether Hitler or Mother Theresa, all are equal expressions of God in some way that I don’t care much to explain as much as I care to feel it. God (good) and Devil (evil) are all part of God. Both provide contrast and duality as part of God out seeking to explore its Infinity. A never-ending task, but one with many both joyous and painful discoveries.

Much like you actually. Shadow and light both. Joy and sorrow both. Love and hatred both. Until we come to terms with our God picture, we cannot come to terms with a self picture that does us any good.
Leaning on seeing yourself as only a love and light being makes for a really tiring and ungrounded spirituality, as well as making you essentially non-human, uninteresting actually, and without a way to grow. It takes light and darkness to grow.

God is both.

Realization then is this manifesting in awareness what you are. This awareness shift then real-izes one step further shifting and changing its expression in matter. As what you actually are in essence remains unrealized in your day-to-day expression, it is just that, not yet real on your experiential level, even though it is true on your essential level.

This awareness expansion that births essence into experience is the underlying everything in the universe, continually redefining what even the universe actually is.

It’s a vast unknown picture, and our attempts to describe and define it must continually return back to a reverence for Its unknowableness.

I’ve enjoyed a relationship with my beloved Jelelle for eight years and I feel how much, on one level, I have no clue what I’m doing or what I’m in.

That feeling is the awareness expansion. It’s knowing you don’t know that leads to more knowing that leads to more reverence of not knowing. Voila, never ending. (Want a boost in your sex life, try that on for size.)

Whatever is real underneath the often debated idea of incarnational cycles, I see it as simply your soul essence in this never ending God realization. Our ideas of past, present, and future seem to have infiltrated our ideas of past, present, and future lives. Some feel we may in reality be living all of our lives simultaneously in parallel universes. I suspect something like that to be more accurate than our time-illusion-based picture that comes from our current collective consciousness. All I can say about that is get ready for sudden changes here because we are in epic times of consciousness expansion, both collectively and personally.

As you shift in consciousness, you shift unmistakably in the energy frequency you broadcast at and receive at. You become unrecognizable to yourself as you see yourself as ultimately part of the unknowable. You are so NOT John Doe who lives here and does such and such for a living. My God, what pathetic attempts at self description we’ve come up with in the face of our infinite unknowableness!

All of this is a process. I feel that there isn’t a single moment when you ‘pop’ into some place of full enlightenment. Scratch the surface on any community espousing those instantaneous enlightenment pictures and you’ll find all manner of abuse underneath the lie.

You’ll have many pops as you go. I hope you’re having one now. Many manageable and self-loving nervous breakdowns as you leave and enter new virgin territory.

That is my picture of an alive human. And all of nature resounds with it. You don’t need to believe it. Believing is mental. You can feel it with your heart.

Well, how did this tour land in you today? I invite your commenting and connecting.

Jelelle’s Comment:Β I didn’t grow up with God…in a religious sense, no sunday trips to church, or prayers over the dinner table. Yet, the Divine was always in my heart and in my soul…I found It in nature, I found It in expanded consciousness experiences in my 20s, I found It eventually in the form of a beloved Divine Mother and also Divine Father energy…..and eventually I found It in Oneness and All That Is in tastes of experiences.

My connection with the Divine has deepened over the years and been quite personal in certain phases when I needed that and more universal when that was what I needed. I feel god forms to what we need in the ways that we need It. I have long felt that each of us a spark from the heart of the Divine or a fragment of the Divine expressing as a human being with none of us being any ‘higher’ than any other, even if we are in different phases of our soul consciousness evolution.

There can be much that blocks our felt sense of ourselves as a God spark and a visceral, personal experience of the Divine. These blocks need love, can be healed and when felt, move. Different teachers, different paths, different phases….same destination of reunion with the Divine.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

Seek And Ye Shall Find You

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

cliff-jump

I know you’re out looking for something.

You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. The same is true for me.

I have an answer for you today. And that answer is that I am not your answer. Your answer is YOU. If I am anything to you, I can only serve as a reflection to you of you. If you are anything to me, you can only serve as a reflection of me to me.

The something you are out seeking today is you. The something I am out seeking today is me.

I happen to know that you are seeking the fulfillment of your being in all of its aspects. You want to learn, to grow, to find meaning, to have purpose and passion in your life, and to share all of it in meaningful connection with yourself, with others and with the divine.

Why be here and why ‘do’ here if not for these things?

All of life is arrayed to help you find these things. You already have them, but admittedly, they aren’t your experience as much as you’d like them to be. Hence, you dare to desire, you dare to be out seeking. You dare to look to an other even.

But I can do absolutely nothing for you unless you are out to help yourself. In fact, if you make me your source, while refusing to be your own source, the result can only be abuse of each other.

You are the light of the world. You, as you are now, with your desires for growth and change, with your pains and wounds that you don’t let anyone see.

Love wants in to your defended and seeking heart. Love wants to bring you new reflectors of your essence. Love wants to invite you out to risk again.

Take this light that you are shine it into the world of your desire, your aches and your longings. Let love meet you, embrace you, hold you, reassure you.

Will you?

I know you’re out looking for something…

Seek and ye shall find.

Let nothing stop you. Be radical! Your life depends on it.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split (Part Two): Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

This is part two of Feeling My Spirit/Matter SplitΒ in the Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series. Go here to read part one.

recovering faith

 

By Kathleen Calder

My intention for this writing today is to have you join me in a feeling space around what it means to be β€œseparate”. What comes to you when you think about separation? A recent break-up or completion with a beloved? The day your mother/father/other family member died? The day you left for college or moved out of your childhood home in general?

Each movement and phase of life often involves a death and rebirth cycle that can encompass some sort of separation being necessary. Of course the very first separation we viscerally experience in our lives comes at the very beginning – the moment we emerge from our mother’s womb. The very first tears we cry are often in this moment, feeling the separation from our warm gestation place and mourning the chance to be the closest to our mother that we ever will be. For the first time, we can feel sensations in our bodies of a changing need for our adaptation and therefore survival. We are still dependent, but we have exited from an intense phase of being held by something bigger than us. We now must begin to build our muscle tone, our dexterity, and, beyond the physical, we must also start developing our emotional bodies, for once again we have been born into this dense and often difficult environment which we call life on Earth (as we know it today, anyway).

As each new skill learned and new emotion is discovered and felt for the first time, we start to develop a digestive system within us and a new way of processing data that needs less and less help (ideally) from our caregivers as we go along. With each new chapter of our lives, we let go more and more of (or desperately try to cling to in denial of our need for change) those pieces of our life that once represented who we were and can no longer stay with us as we continue to grow. Like a child constantly outgrowing their clothes, we too are meant to outgrow relationships in which the person can’t or won’t make the choice to come with us or vice versa, and the β€œclothes” (or, sadly and more commonly, armor) we have tried on in order to reflect, avoid, or defend our emotional realities.

We are meant to gestate over and over again and birth out into a new world just the same. We are meant to have help digesting the β€œfood” others give us to help us grow, both consciously and unconsciously. We are meant to cry out if we feel neglected in any way, or as if there is a lack of love flow in our lives. We are meant to ache out the pain of our separation from the original source of Infinite Love in infinite supply. Only then, in my experience, can we begin to feel that though the fog may feel thick sometimes, we are always connected by a Divine umbilical cord. This is not an ideology. To me, it feels like simple fact. And yes, I and parts of me, are still letting that in.

This, to me, is the core of where our Spirit/Matter split lies. It is certainly the core of mine. I truly feel that my soul has been around and around this world and each time that the original and at times insurmountable feeling of being separate from the Divine must be felt through again with the first breaths of a new life beginning, has been harder and harder. At times parts of me have reacted to this by going so far into Matter that it β€œmatters” more than Spirit possibly could. After all, it is the more relatable place to be in for most human relationships…perhaps because deep in our souls and hearts we are aching out the same pain of the original separation and just want to avoid feeling it as much as we can.

There have also been times in my life where parts of me have tried to lean so far into Spirit that the art of responding to life and at least the Matter that really β€œmatters” got waylaid. This over-leaning into Spirit led me into a sort of constant depression and heaviness inside me as parts of me reluctantly walked through heartbreak, loss, and disappointment, fixating on the pain and not the goodness of life, as if throwing some sort of tantrum and saying, β€œLook Divine Mom and Dad! Look at how miserable I am! I shouldn’t be here! Take me home, please!”

This sort of stark split isn’t the easiest life theme to work. I am grateful to be awake enough to it that I can feel and begin to understand how my parts formed around it and why they have the reactions they do. There is still some deep pain inside me about living out another life on Earth, especially during this dark time for humanity, but at least now I am equipped to feel it through and ache it out consciously instead of having it play out in the same pattern it has until now. Perhaps it will still need to play out in some ways that are similar to how it has done so in the past, but I can trust that if that comes up, there is something more I need to look at and feel about it.

Spirit and Matter may feel like opposites at times, but really they seem to be meant to work together. We are meant to ground into Matter while opening up to Spirit and engaging in all of this with others in conscious and sacred friendship and community. Sadly, not many of us are raised to feel that both are equally important. We wouldn’t need to be here if Matter didn’t have something to offer the Spirit within and around us.

As I continue to write this, I feel how I am writing in the world of Matter through Matter’s means, while connecting to and channeling Spirit. Spirit can come through because of this conduit of β€œme”. Right now Spirit is communicating through my heart, my brain, my language of English, the keyboard I am typing with, the computer that is holding and hosting this document, and eventually the World Wide Web where these words will be posted. And this is only one way in which to try and communicate what I am communicating. Β There are myriad other ways in which Spirit tries to reach us and show us that Matter is not all there is or all we need. Sometimes that message can only come through severe accidents or diseases or just at the very end of a life…but then again, it also comes to us through orgasm, deep connection with others, deep and prioritized connection with ourselves, and each and every time we find ourselves awed or humbled by nature itself in any form.Β  There is no difference between any of these experiences, except method and form. Spirit is there. Matter is there also. One cannot be found without the other, just as we ourselves are an embodiment of both.

It feels like Spirit has enjoyed expressing through me today, regardless of how deeply it can actually land its message in you through me. I am but one messenger and one pipeline. And in truth, this sense of a split that needs acknowledge and healing is such a sovereign, personal, and sacred process to be in, that whatever path you are walking right now is your own expression of it. Maybe one day our paths will align, and if they do, I will be there to walk this healing path with you in whatever way we are meant to do so together.

 

Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions

 

Introducing β€œEssencism”: A New Movement Towards Ourselves

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

 

glowing-heart

 

By Kathleen Calder

I have begun to consider myself an β€œEssencist”. I don’t think that term exists yet, but I like it. Why? Because it doesn’t already have a role attached to it, an image of the person who may be involved in it, or even necessarily an existing set of beliefs. Well, I guess in a way it does, since I am coming up with it as someone who embraces SoulFullHeart, a healing and consciousness path where we speak of β€œessence” quite a bit, and yes, we have some specific beliefs we work with. They are fluid though, as life and the Divine always seem to be arising for us anew, depending on the chapter of our lives we are living out individually and as a community. To be an β€œEssencist”, to me, means that no matter what changes your life brings you, you believe in the power of your essence and you are also constantly in hot pursuit of what you feel it to be in every single moment, letting it be an unending journey of discovery with relentless curiosity.

I feel like I am diving into a chapter of pursuing what the heck my essence could be. I am experiencing the beginnings of what promises to be a deep journey of self-mating – deep, hot, romantic pursuit of the parts of me who have been neglected or put aside until now, and ultimately of my own heart and soul and what it’s made of. Is it difficult for parts of me to imagine that this phase could last a long time and that could mean not pursuing mateship with a man for a long time? Yes. Of course. And I also feel that I wouldn’t want to offer a future mate anything less than what I am already discovering about myself and my truest heart or my essence, nor do I desire a mate who can’t or won’t offer me the same, coming from an overflow of his own self-mateship.

So here we go, with much strength and motivation…but where is my vulnerability around it? Parts of me don’t feel too good about this idea, while it sounds good. It is different than what most other young women and men my age care about doing. So there is a deep loneliness I can feel inside myself too in this moment. Yet I can feel the possibilities of there being others and the chance for deeper relationships with others my age than I have experienced so far. And how could I draw what I really want in relationship if I am not pursuing it and cultivating it inside myself?

Perhaps the essence of being an β€œessencist” is actually selfishness, then. I selfishly want to focus on myself so that I can selfishly claim the gifts of that journey and the manifestation of that which I have always wanted in my deepest essence. To be an β€œessencist” means embracing personal other-ness – the fact that you are as unique as you feel yourself to be, whether you have been born with the sex of a woman or a man, or earned the role of accountant, actor, mother, brother, teacher, or priest.

What I want more than anything, as far as I can feel for what I know of my essence thus far, is to know and be known, but not in a superficial way. I feel encouraged to inhabit a new way of being in life where I pursue myself with so much curiosity that it overflows into a deep curiosity about others and puts me in a position where I love others’ essences so fiercely that I will fight for it the way I am beginning to fight for my own. I have already experienced tastes of my capacity for this as I have felt many moments of my capacity to feel others and how it is deepening with every step I take towards feeling myself first.Β  I am becoming more and more compassionate towards the false while advocating for the real. In a world that very much still tries to revolve around created personas and smokescreens, this is very challenging. This could be why I like the idea of a movement, if you will, that we could call β€œEssencism” – encouraging all human beings to get back to themselves in a healthy, authentic way, cultivating a relentless overflow of self-love that spills over into every aspect of their lives.

I feel in my essence a spark that keeps glowing, even when the night is at its darkest and all of life seems to parts of me to be conspiring against my/their happiness or comfort. It is something that I really don’t feel I will ever fully come to know, but that’s not as important as it is to keep discovering and getting closer to that answer, even if all I end up with at the end of each day is more data pointing out what it is not. So for now I will continue to try on each and every day and take it for a spin in my proverbial Cadillac, seeking and finding more answers while feeling myself deeply through every challenge and hard-to-feel feeling inside my parts and my heart.

 

Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions

Realizing Reality Together: Golden Earth Tales

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

infinitelovegates

Please visit our Patreon Page if you’d like to support SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. We’d love to receive some of your money!

(This is Part Seven of the ongoing blog series: Golden Earth Tales.)

By Raphael Awen

Thank you for joining in on this blog series. I’m really glad to have your involvement.

I have this expanding sense humming through me today of what a human being actually is. I could say more accurately is that I really don’t know what a human being is. And as I accept that into my consciousness, I let in arising wonder. This sense of wonder and childlike curiosity extends to me, you, and even to the Christian couple who this past week accused me of being β€˜a cult leader who talks to demons’.

Friend, foe, or in between, we are all part of the human cult and we are all in search of something. We affect each other and we are an intertwined part of each other way more than we realize.

I’ve also had a growing sense of some other β€˜participants’ in this blog series from another dimension called Golden Earth. It’s actually what got this blog series launched and I wrote about it in part one. I don’t have any five-physical-sense β€˜proof’ of its existence, but I have been afforded the self-permission to imagine it being β€˜real.’ I β€˜see’ and β€˜feel’ through my imagination the active interest of a group of students that like hanging out together in the Golden Earth cafΓ© and are keenly interested in brainstorming together around what I’ve been putting out in this blog series.

Of course, this all sounds like a science fiction story, and I can say that maybe that is in fact what all this imagination is – a story from beyond our normal scope of perception. What’s crazy though for me (in a good kind of crazy way) is that I get this growing sense that what you and I call β€˜real’ and verify as everyday normal reality through our five physical sense perception of reality, doesn’t sound that far off from my β€˜Golden Earth’ reality. My sense is that the reality that you and I participate in as β€˜real’ is only real because you and I have in fact β€˜realized’ it together. We made it up. We made it up in our own personal β€˜fact-ory’. And then to top it off, we agreed that it was real. What a bunch of conspirators we are! I guess I am a powerful cult leader after all….wow…. and so are you …. like it or not. We make stuff up as we go.

If any of this stuff is a more accurate picture of the underlying reality that undergirds what we call reality, then at the very least, it puts us back in a place of childlike wonder. That childlike wonder opens out all the edges of what I consider real and true. This lens of childlike wonder filters and swirls through my adult mind and leaves me with a, β€˜Holy shit, who the hell are we?’ feeling. β€˜Holy’ and β€˜hell’ are now in the same sentence somehow.

I mentioned the couple who called me β€˜a cult leader who listens to demons’ as I’m still digesting this week the energy of our all-too-real confrontation. While my personal boundary is that no one gets to be a part of my life while they want to energize their reality in an intolerant way towards me, there is another way that none of us can escape anyone else. As we’ve been feeling into in this series: we, at a deep and fundamental level of reality, are all One. We cannot even differentiate enough from that Oneness for there to be an β€˜other’ to have a difference with, let alone fight with them.

My mind starts to ride out on some of these feeling waves and mind waves, like a great surfboard ride, and it comes up with more and more profound questions. It’s hard staying on one train of thought for very long. It isn’t too far off from getting stoned really. But before you judge that as a bad thing, consider that what you call β€˜reality’ may be, in fact, coming from the completely intoxicated and drug-impaired perception of what you and I just made up and declared real. Hell, you’re not the safe designated driver to get me home safely that you imagine yourself to be. Nor is the Christian couple offering me their Jesus picture of deliverance and salvation. I may not even be safe to drive myself home! I just may need to walk, or stumble, or just pass out on the sidewalk and try again tomorrow, thank you very much!

I love this madness!

I can feel the students at the Golden Earth cafΓ© really rocking about now, so excited to feel us feeling into this together. If we can soften our perception of reality back to a place of childlike wonder, then they and we get to come out and play. I see the universe knocking on the door of my childhood home – β€œHello, Mrs. Awen. Can Raphael come out and play today?”

When and how in the heaven and in the hell did we lose our sense of play? When and how did we make spirituality about being right or being saved or delivered?

The good news is that we fell and bumped our head and are suffering a bit of amnesia. We only fell from the grace of knowing who and what we are. We didn’t fall and bump ourselves out of god’s grace, as the Christian narrative goes. That story has held a good many of us (myself deeply included) for a good long time, and it’s running out of gas. New stories are now vying for our attention.

My truth is that you and I don’t have but the tiniest bit of what there is to be had as far as your sense of self extends. You are so much more than you ever dreamed yourself to be. We live in an Infinite-Love reality that is ever expanding, and so everything we come to treasure as meaningful or real only gets its value because it calls us to get comfortable with deepening our picture of reality.

With this blog series, I’m realizing I don’t have anything to sell you on. Well, to be honest, I’ve been putting out there my own ideas of reality and I guess making a case for that. But, in another way, I get to admit that I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m selling. That, I feel, is what has earned me the title this week of being a powerful cult leader – I am in the great unknown and dangerously having some fun and dangerously enticing others to join me, and what this couple could see and verify for me is that I just might succeed in pulling that off – God forbid, hallelujah and praise Allah!

Reality is being auctioned off to the highest bidder. What do you have to bid for this treasure? What kind of reality do you dream of? What do you want? Deep down in the depths of your being? What makes you tick? What’s your wanter wanting underneath its wants? Are you angry that what you’ve subscribed to hasn’t paid off? I’m glad if you’re pissed. Get pissed at me if you need to. I’ll throw it back in your face and we can be a part of changing consciousness together.

As I said in my last blog, we as a species are at an epochal shift in our consciousness and existence. It is the time of the greatest change we have encountered so far. We go through periods of relative stability (history) that are followed by tumultuous and sudden change (herstory).

You and I get to be in on this, in whatever way we want to be. Once we begin awakening to that, it changes everything, and doesn’t stop.

Raphael Awen hails from SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. You can also track him on twitter via @raphaelawen, or on facebook: Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­facebook.com/raphaelawen1. Please visit our Patreon Page if you’d like to support SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. We’d love to receive some of your money!

Spiritual La-La Land In A Time Of Impending Collapse: Golden Earth Tales

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

infinitelovegates

Please visit our Patreon Page if you’d like to support SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. We’d love to receive some of your money!

(This is Part Six of the ongoing blog series: Golden Earth Tales.)

By Raphael Awen

It’s time in this blog series to pose a very important question.

The question goes something like this: How is seeking the nondual, or any other form of spiritual seeking for that matter, relevant at such a crazy time of global change that we are in the midst of? How is it not just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?

We are in the midst of epic changes to our industrial society and its way of life that we are all embedded in. The long and the short of it is that gasoline from a gas station, water from a tap, food from a store, or electricity from a hole in the wall are not likely to persist for much longer. All of the inter-related systems that hold these realities in place are growing more and more vulnerable and tension-filled by the day. I am personally surprised each passing month to see the present order of things stumble against the odds into the next month.

The transition we are facing promises to be difficult almost beyond imagination, chaotic and marked with great loss of life.

My sense is that if you haven’t faced this approaching chaos and come to your own personal grounded choices around it, your spirituality (of any kind) is in la-la land.

Eighteen months ago, my wife and I and two close friends chose to relocate to living off grid two countries south and entered into a crash course of learning to grow our own food. It’s a long story and a great story and you can read it here in our free e-book called Living As If. It’s free monetarily speaking, but reading it will cost you. It will cost you some of your indifference; it will cost you some of your comfort; and it will cost you some of your happiness that’s based in denial. If you’ve been looking to spend those things from your life, the free e-book is a great place to start.

I almost want to apologize for pontificating here. Almost. I just called you indifferent, didn’t I? I am trying to build an audience, not thin one out, but this message cannot be pansied around with. If you haven’t considered the changes that you can feel are coming, you are fucking around with your own life. It’s just that plain and simple. It’s suicide and indifferent to boot. I’d much rather you got offended and left off reading my blogs than using my teaching on the nondual as a way to keep your pile of denial intact. What I’d most rather see, however, is that you could listen to your own heart without needing any prodding from me or anyone else and prepare to ride out the coming storm.

Facing into this with power and choice will feel like nothing short of joining a cult. Your seeking to get others on board in your circle of family and friends will be seen as proselytizing. It will probably add up to being the most difficult thing you have undertaken this life.

When you look at this though through a first-things-first lens, no other approach makes any sense at all. As humans, our needs for survival will always trump our needs for seeking meaning. We embrace spirituality only when our basic needs of food, water, and shelter are met and have a reasonable expectation of continuity.

You may be in a place of what appears to be life-stability at the moment, but I venture to say that you have been sensing the approach of deep structural changes coming to our collective way of life. How could you not? This has left you with an ungrounded feeling. Your ventures into spirituality and meaning are left with one foot outside of the circle. You’re not all here, and rightly so, you shouldn’t be. Maybe ten years ago, maybe even five years ago, this could be a different story, but not now.

As I’ve been writing this series on the nondual, I’ve had a growing sense of disconnect to be offering it into an audience I fear has done little to reconcile with these coming changes. I’m openly asking the question of myself: how does this form of spiritual seeking that I’m advocating for not just another form of a mind-numbing drug?

The shit is about to hit the fan – make no mistake about it.

Like the Captain in the movie Titanic so soberly said just minutes after the iceberg was struck, β€œThis ship will go down.” The Titanic story is a powerful prophetic story for our time. Our collective hubris is only exceeded by our denial, and we are about to be called on it.

Big outbreath….phew. I had to say that… in that way.

My own tendency towards denial is as good as the next person’s; the difference though is that I am aware of mine. That awareness has led and continues to lead to changes – not talk of changes, but balls-to-the-wall grounded change.

So what then is there left to say about the nondual in relation to all this unavoidable change?

My truth is that all the talk in the world of the nondual isn’t worth a fiddler’s fart if you are not in your power facing this approaching storm.

Consciousness itself has prepared this transformation for us, not against us. Consciousness doesn’t see the loss of physical life with the same hysteria as we do. Consciousness sees it as a transformation, not an end in itself. What is at stake is not your consciousness per se, but your physical life and the goals you as a soul associated with this life.

I am convinced that most will not (as they say) know what hit β€˜em, as they feel completely victimized and overwhelmed by circumstances outside of their control. Everything in their conditioning will support their chosen view of excusing themselves.

But for those of us who unmistakably sense this coming storm, such luxuries of consciousness don’t add up to much, do they?

The Christians believe strongly in Jesus returning to sweep them away before it gets too unbearable – that at least gives them some form of hope or comfort. Their collective sense of coming chaos is well founded and grounded; it’s just their solution that doesn’t add up. No savior is returning to take care of your business for you. All the universe, God, the Divine, and Jesus himself will be glad to help you – but no one and nothing is going to do this for you. Doing stuff for you is known as infantilizing, and we are moving past that now in our emerging collective consciousness.

You can expect to be infantilized if you must and that will ensure you some comfort in the midst of this great chaos, though it will also pretty much guarantee your early demise. Or you can adult-up and make choices with the power you have and ride out this storm consciously in the deep and personal transformation of yourself and the collective that this will prove to be.

Raphael Awen hails from SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. You can also track him on twitter via @raphaelawen, or on facebook: Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­Β­facebook.com/raphaelawen1

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Our Essence As Infinite Love: Golden Earth Tales

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

infinitelovegates

(This is Part 3 of the ongoing blog series: Golden Earth Tales. To begin at part 1, go here)

By Raphael Awen

We left off in the previous blog in this series with an introductory feeling tone of being infinite love. We felt into how who and what we see ourselves as needs a deep and overwhelming expansion of consciousness to let in the higher reality of infinite love. We need to add in here that this reality of infinite love includes the other infinities of infinite possibility, infinite stillness, infinite potential, and infinite power. There’s more you can add in. After all, it’s only words and language we’re using to attempt to access a feeling tone of your essence.

There is nothing more powerful than a feeling tone that moves through your being and colors your self-perception. When you’re depressed, we could say that you are depression. While not a true statement of your essence, you have for many intents and purposes, become depression in this dimension. Your self-perception, already shrunken to the five-sense earth dimension, now shrunken further into a narrower still bandwidth of perception has become flooded with a powerful feeling tone.

Let’s for comparison sake say that the opposite of the word β€˜depressed’ is β€˜expressed,’ (because we can invent our own lexicon anytime we want, after all, we are infinite possibility!) I’d certainly rather be in a state of expression than depression, and wouldn’t we all? Well, the truth of that question is actually, no, most of us only think we would rather be in a state of expression over depression. Depression is a shut down and safe place that we subconsciously and understandably choose as a soul, out of wounded emotional patterns. Then parts of us buy into the pathetic current biological and medical paradigm and get to play victim and draw some sympathy. What’s crazier still though is that the depressed person actually not only plays victim with their depression, they also use it to avoid the depression.

Depression is actually one of the soul’s beautiful doorways leading into healthy and alive expression and unless you are willing to honor your depression, you won’t find this doorway. This is the pattern of choice for most, because leaving depression and entering expression of essence (very different from happiness which is more of a medication) is a deeply fearful thing (as well as very understandable). We’ll get into soul-fear dynamics and how they conflict with our innate desire to grow a couple blogs from now, but my point here is that getting into your essence is getting into a feeling tone that floods your being, that colors it, that irreversibly changes everything about you, never to return again to life as you knew it. Thank god it’s a progressive thing that digests and unfolds in your life, or we’d all pop circuits and become true loonies if it were not so, but it is without a doubt, personal transmutation, at a pace you can bear. You become different at the core of your being.

If you’re not up for the world of feeling, or have some story that feelings aren’t real, save yourself a whole lot of frustration and leave off this path now of seeking to experience essence. Many spiritualities, especially the ones that teach about β€˜the nondual essence of all being’ (which is what we are getting into in this series) are just this kind of suffering loop that pound their pulpit declaring that your feelings can and must be ignored, turfed or transcended in some form to allow you access into your essence. They go on further to say that this is the core of your suffering: that you want. It’s your needs and desires that are at the root of all your suffering.

Simply follow their method and picture of reality to kill your wanter, or ignore it sufficiently, and you pop into another magical dimension. β€˜Does this actually work?’ you say. Well of course it β€˜works,’ or there wouldn’t be myriads of souls embracing this approach. But what β€˜works’ is that only a part of you got into the door of some aspect of your essence, while entire swaths of your being got paved over. Here you find the common denominator of Christianity and the New Age Movement. Who’d have imagined these strangest of bedfellows coming to the same demise? We are so nearing the end of these partial solutions and it’s evident that many of us are rattling our cages in hunger for and even demand for more. I support that rattle.

I almost feel to apologize for the rant energy flowing through me right now. But I have no apology. You can find teaching galore on essence, but what you won’t find much of is any personal transparency, real transparency on how that’s working or not working for the person teaching it. Sorry, but I have no interest in that teaching or teacher. β€˜Get real or go home’ a part of me so wants to say to both spiritual teachers and spiritual seekers. I, in contrast to this part of me, can more tenderly admit the personal hurt and pain of lost relationship, underlying this anger. One way or another, the universe will learn what it seeks to learn. It’s our choice what role we play in that.

Thank you for feeling this. I hope I’m making you mad or glad. We need to get into the feeling domain big time if we hope to access true and lasting connection to our essence.

So then, now that we hopefully made some sacred space to feel into essence, what can we say about it? It has been called the β€˜nondual’ for lack of a better term. What is meant by this is that the realm of true essence is non dualistic. It is not the world of dualism; that is comparative difference.

A little boy recognizes an airplane in the sky and says, β€˜Look, airplane.’ He’s already lost a good amount of his wonder at the sight, compared to the first time he saw one, now that he has the label for it. The label is already taking over the awe of the actual thing. Not much later, it no longer even raises his eyebrow. This is a picture of how the dualistic mind labels and enters the world of β€˜this, not that’ and so deadens experience by categorizing and labeling. Wonder is reduced to a computer like filing system.

So, if the β€˜nondual’ is not all this, then what is it? It is the world where β€˜twoness’ doesn’t exist. There is no other to compare or β€˜dualize’ with. All is arising wonder. Many say that this state is not a state, for to call it that, you would be in effect defining it, and it cannot be defined or compared. It just is. It is the upstream reality and source of all matter, life and consciousness. Experientially, people who claim this awakening to the nondual claim to be free of this β€˜deadening to wonder’ overlay that all of had to take on in becoming human.

It’s sort of like the proverbial ability to β€˜stop and smell the roses,’ but from an altered state of mind, or better said, from a mind broken of its need to dominate the essence of a thing. It’s kind of funny, because here we are pretzeling our minds trying to define and understand the nondual which is said to be indefinable and unknowable. I like to offer that the nondual is a return to a magical state of wonder, coming more and more free of the mind’s deadening effect, and more essentially, that this state of being is actually your home frequency of being.

Now, for instance, if you need to arrive somewhere on time, you’re still going to need your dualistic mind. 8 o’clock comes an hour earlier than 9 o’clock. Time is one of the biggest illusions of all. We simply made it up with our minds’ ability to dualize and then all synchronized our watches. Voila, see you at 8! Time isn’t real. Money is another one. So is language. These are all things we made up for our own purposes. Totally cool shit to say the least. All of the mind’s abilities in these ways are not to be downplayed. They do a ton for us, but they also seriously limit our hunger to experience essence.

What we wrestle with so strongly in our search to return to essence and its awakening is actually an awakening in itself that came before. It is your awakening into duality from nonduality that your mind is still mostly not done with yet. You were born out of the nondual (mind you, you weren’t a β€˜you’ in the state of oneness) into duality, you were sourced out of it. You are β€˜dual awakened,’ we could say. Hence like the little boy, you live in a world of comparative difference. It’s a powerful thing in and of itself, but with the obvious downside of becoming so identified with duality that almost all connection to our essence is lost. Bad news indeed! β€˜No me gusta’ we’d say here in our emerging Espanol – β€˜I don’t like.’

What helped me recently is feeling into my essence as infinite love. I again say feeling, because the mind can’t grok the word β€˜infinite,’ being finite as it is. I feel energy coming from my original source nature assisting me in letting this in. Jelayan recently wrote beautifully about letting in the β€˜drip-line of my nondual nature.’ It sends a wave of awareness over my being that I can feel wants to flow more and more.

In the next blog in this series, I will get into side-by-side comparison of our essence (nondual) and our expression (dual). Admittedly, that’s a very dualistic thing in further attempt to β€˜explain’ the nondual. Maybe, we will all reach the edge of our minds tolerance for such insanities and pop over into the nondual, or at least into a big soaker hose like Jelelle’s article offered.

Raphael Awen is a co-creator and a facilitator at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Β Follow him on twitter @raphaelawen for blog updates and more or subscribe to this blog (if you haven’t already) to receive each new posting from Soulfullheart Sanctuary in your email.

Awakening Is Like A Flower Bud Unfolding

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

heartflower

Awakening is less like a lightning bolt coming from the sky as it is like a flower bud slowly unfolding its petals in response to the warmth of the sun.

Feelings of warmth, comfort, and joy course through me; these are the feelings of the energy that move in response to my beloved mate Raphael. The feelings are familiar but the intensity of soul frequency is new. Our relationship is eight years old and brand new, both. The marriage between Jillian and Wayne (our previous names) is complete and a new union is arising between Jelelle and Raphael. This is not just semantics, changing these names, but a symbolic decision to represent the stunningly new sense that we both feel about ourselves. We also retired the inherited family name of Vriend and have chosen the last name of Awen, which means Divine Inspiration and is also the fifth element.

Who are Jelelle and Raphael Awen? It is unknown and familiar; it is us in our best moments and us in our letting go of the past definitions. It is the result of years of process work, devotional connection to the Divine, and, recently, meditative astral journeying to our true soul home called Golden Earth and the parallel dimension of Avalon. In one way changing a name is easy; it is getting to the place of genuinely wanting to inhabit something new that is challenging.

This is the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. It is about change and transformation, life arising anew at every sunrise and sunset, we get to arise anew along with it, even changing our names if we are called to. It is about nature’s beauty matching and holding space for our own inner beauty to respond and bloom.

We’ve rejected feeling that earning money should be the goal of life and embraced that money represents love and can come in many forms (including gift exchange) and shouldn’t be the meaning of life. We’ve rejected pressure to conform to the rationalist, five sense picture of reality and embraced that our reality is much more vast, mysterious, and multidimensional than we can even imagine.

We feel that you have to say β€˜no’, to push back on what you’ve been conditioned and programmed to believe about life, in order to experience what your meant to experience: yourself as an expression of Infinite Love. The SoulFullHeart Way Of Life operates from this foundation of Infinite Love, it overflows from this well spring, and it gushes from this pulsing vein. Any other source is an illusion created by the false self. Saying β€˜no’ is only for a phase of time until you are made bare and new with only β€˜yes’ as your necessary response to what you are offered. Yes to desire, yes to learning, yes to connection, yes to love. You become a student and teacher of Yes.

This came to me this morning as one way to describe the process of awakening that participation in the SoulFullHeart calls us to inhabit: Awakening is less like a lightning bolt coming from the sky as it is like a flower bud slowly unfolding its petals in response to the warmth of the sun. We provide the warmth of the sun in the form of love, support, guidance, and a setting in which you can truly focus on your process. You are the flower, each unfolding petal revealing the essence of your heart and soul expression. And the Divine smiles on it all, caught up in the goodness of our efforts and desire.

Jelayan Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

The Cult Of Family: Dialogues With Divine Father Day 23

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

Wayne's Mandala

W: Hello again, Divine Father.

DF: Hello again, Wayne.

W: I wondered, Father, if we have more to talk about regarding cults.

DF: I’ll bet we do.

W: Okay, let’s go there then.

DF: What about the family cult, Wayne?

W: The family cult is the first cult we join and as such is so engrossing, that we are so embedded in it, within our larger cult of society.

DF: I think maybe you need to lead this on a personal note, Wayne, to make it more real for anyone reading this. Tell a bit of your story around family if you feel okay doing that.

W: Okay. I think I can do that. For a number of years now, I have had almost no interaction with any family. It was not the typical β€˜we don’t see eye to eye on things’ that led us apart. It was me advocating for change within the family dynamic, while letting go of the faith I was raised in. My mother tried to keep that together by suggesting we all could get along in the midst of our differences. Which essentially meant, still being apart of family gatherings and just not talking about any of the differences. With me leaving the Christian faith, and in their judgments of me, and me being in judgment of them for being so unwilling to look beyond their borders, it left us only in clash, covered over with a polite, but toxic pleasantness.

DF: What’s been the difficult part of your choices?

W: I chose to leave the family cult, but I didn’t want to leave any one of them. I was attached to them, and largely couldn’t imagine my life without them. I raised my daughters into their late teens with the hope and desire that these would be two treasured women enriching my life into my mid life and golden years. The family connection spread through parents, grandparents, sons and daughters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews was and is a potent connection with many nourishing things that I to this day miss, but also with a huge toxic element that I am relieved to no longer be a part of. The difficult part of my choices has been knowing that in all likelihood, most wouldn’t be able to join me on my journey, and with me not willing to be any longer in any kind of falseness with them, that this meant parting paths. This means lovingly letting them go, and letting my bond with them go, but with an open door.

DF: Say more about the open door.

W: The door is open in that I would welcome contact from any family member if there were genuine curiosity and respect for me, including my choices and values. This is the same condition that I wish that they would hold for themselves in every relationship they have.

DF: Can you say more about what it’s like now for you to be in life without the family connection?

W: I feel a peacefulness inside of myself, as well as a love for each one of them. There isn’t the conflictual tugging on each other.

DF: So why is family rated so highly, Wayne, when admittedly most find it so hard to tolerate, and even dislike with a passion?

W: This feels like an interview, Father, I think I feel your tack here and I’m really enjoying your interested questions, and your desire I feel to put this out there for anyone ready to embrace it.

DF: Nothing like the learning that occurs in the university of true curiosity in relationality.

W: I feel the death grip we have on the family cult and why it is so pervasive has to do with the deepest vulnerability of being human. We are clearly meant to be in family. It’s just that if we settle for the current working definition of family, that only ensures that we will never be a part of true family.

DF: Why’s that?

W: It’s interesting that the word family and familiar are so close in origin, yet the energy of family is conformity to belong rather inquiry into individual uniqueness, which would lead to real familiarity with oneself. For the individual to grow, they must chose to become familiar with themselves outside of the family. I feel why family as we know it today is so praised and so valued and revered in and across our many cultures is that it serves as the perfect excuse for the individual not to grow, to not risk, to stay safe where they are.

DF: Wayne, okay, now you’re tweaking me so much I have to jump in.

W: Good, I was feeling a bit wordy.

DF: What I wanted to add was that only as an individual is in exploration with themself, or as you and I like to say, with themselves, as in getting to know their parts, are they out of the flat line existence where they have something alive to bring to relationship.

W: …where they could be valued as interesting and meaningful because they are contributing to something alive instead of cosigning a pact to stay dead as is the case of what we agreed is family today.

DF: Co-signing a pact to stay in deadness. Is it really that stark, Wayne, to you?

W: From my experience, and inside of me, it is nothing less than that. All wounding and all healing happens inside of relationship, and as we said yesterday, all relationships are in fact a cult unto themselves. It will take new cults and new relationships to take us out of the old and into the new. I feel I have inhabited that and lived my way into that to prove it to myself, and offer a landing place to anyone else who feels this is also their truth and who’d like to live into this reality for themselves. And you know what, Father?

DF: What?

W: Christopher has prepared dinner, and I’m hungry.

DF: This was perfect, Wayne, go eat. We’ll pick up soon.

W: Thank you, Father, for the interview.

DF: You’re welcome.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Β Β Visit the SoulFullHeart website Β for more information about virtual sessions with him.

I See You: Message To The False Self

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

The following is a message that Jelelle received from the Divine Mother directed toward the false self in us all:

I see you. You there, reading these words. I feel you. You there, taking in these words. I know you. You there, blocking out these words. I want you. You there, curious about these words.

You there….I see, feel, know, and want you. I see you because I have witnessed your creation. You were a necessary aspect of human evolution. You were a surprise, an arising that I didn’t expect. Your time of unconscious dominance is nearing its inevitable end. Yet, you are wanted. Wanted by me and wanted by the sacred human seed that you protect so vigilantly.

Wait, was I not supposed to see that seed? Was I not supposed to want that seed to grow? I planted that seed in every human being. I planted that seed so that it would grow. Seeds need to be watered. Seeds need to bloom. You have been so long protecting that seed, you’ve forgotten the nature of that seed and of yourself.

Let me introduce you to that seed: That seed is the sacred human. That seed will blossom into a sacred human heart that can hold you. That seed will grow into a sacred human heart that can feel you. That seed will become a sacred human heart that can heal you. Rather than protecting that seed from growing, you are meant to let that seed grow and feel protected by what it blossoms into.

Is this difficult for you to accept? Do you resist what I am offering? That’s ok. The sacred human self can hold those feelings too. You feel resistance because you haven’t experienced enough real love. You feel difficulty in accepting this because you haven’t experienced enough real love. You don’t want to let in what I am offering because you haven’t experienced enough real love.

I don’t know how much of this you can let in right now or much you are supposed to let in. I only know what is possible if you do. What is possible is that finally you can experience real love. In the experience of real love, you are able to share your reactions, your tensions, your feelings, your pains, your joys, your desires, your fears, your dreams, your resistance, Β your ache…ALL of it.

You can finally let go of what you’ve been holding so closely that you haven’t been able to see it. You wear all of it like an armor that blocks out and resists real love. You can be released from this armour, but the process and pace of removing it is completely up to you.

I see you choosing paths and teachers promising you bliss, promising you enlightenment, promising you freedom from everything that you feel, promising you that YOU get to remain as YOU without question. This is not what I am offering will lead to real healing for you. You must become real….come out as what we are calling the β€˜false self’ and all of its parts….in order to experience real love. No more hiding. You must step forward and say, β€œOk, I am open to being a false self. I am curious about this sacred human seed. I am ready to be felt.”

That’s it. That’s all you have to do and the rest will naturally happen from there. That doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges and difficulties. Giving up what is false to experience real love is painful at times, very challenging at times…..but the challenges are worth the reward of experiencing real love and finally being able to rest and breathe and heal. To finally be real.

It’s your choice. You can keep seeking and searching down paths that don’t directly challenge you as a false self. But I think we both know where those lead. You are just putting off the inevitable need for you to experience direct healing. Or you can choose to begin your journey into healing of your heart, discovering your true essence, and experiencing real love. That’s the choice I want for you. That’s the choice I’m waiting for you to make. That’s the choice that brings you to me and into my arms of real love.

With love,

Your Divine Mother

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Β Go here to connect with Jelelle on facebook.Β Visit the SoulFullHeart website Β for more information about virtual sessions with her.