by Kalayna Solais
Service is a journey, not a destination…
When I first started awakening and paying close attention to different spiritual teachers, authors, etc, parts of me took this whole world of being a ‘leader’ in personal development, healing, etc as a place of arrival; as somewhere you land, someday, and never leave and are never really asked to leave. I didn’t know back then about the dis-integrity that often comes with these high-up places and ‘roles’ that are often not heart-inhabited or emotionally awakened though the soul may be quite ‘attained’ in many ways.
Parts of me wanted to be one of them… wanted the accolades, the spotlight, the sense of ‘arrival’ and ultimately having ‘healed’ so much. Really though, it was the feeling sense of living your truest soul purpose day-in and day-out, fully aligned with who you came here to BE and what you came here to offer others that was the shiniest asset for me.
Yet… it wasn’t exactly real.
At least not in the ways that I was thinking it was at the time.
There’s a sheen and a glamour that is starting to fade and tarnish now. There are still those who are worshipped yet the abuses they are part of toward others and ultimately themselves is starting to show through the shiny fabric. The ‘Wizard of Oz’ can no longer hide in this process of Ascension.
Even the most highly praised leaders are starting to realize that their sense of service of others, to whatever degree it’s been genuine for them, is in fact an ongoing journey and not an ultimate destination where you no longer need to grow, to look at yourself, to realize what has been hiding in the shadows of your heart and soul that now need to purge out and be seen and felt, loved and humbled.
The desire that has always been with me to get to some ‘place’ where I can serve love more directly with individuals and groups still lives in me to some degree and every day I feel it. I see it show up in others too, even many young men and women are much younger than me, who have parts of them that feel the need to aim for this ‘destination’ place, often as a way (and it was this for me too, once upon a time) to leap-frog over the necessary life experiences and deeper healing processes that come first and foremost in order to be fully embodied and feel the humility (and humanity too) that comes with being of deep service; an alignment with yourself, your soul, your own ongoing healing process that overflows to others with deep integrity and honesty.
I’ve learned over and over again to not rush myself to ‘get somewhere’ I may not be for a while. Supporting those around me that are in a flow of service feels right to my heart for now. I don’t feel that in this I am shrinking at all from my bigness, but that I’m being given space and an invitation to explore my own process deeper, trusting that all of the inward time opens out as needed into some expression of service that can only expand as my soul does.
Maybe, then, we can say that there IS an ‘arrival gate’ when it comes to service-of-love flow and one that you simply ‘know’ you’ve arrived at when you have, yet that it’s only another leg of your very individual journey of YOUR ever-deepening healing and growth process, meant to shift every ground within and outside of you, in all areas of your life and with all parts of you/aspects of your soul.
Much love to YOU on YOUR journey of ‘arriving’ where you are right now… into the invitation to just keep feeling yourself, trusting that this is what truly takes you, with the most integrity possible, into your next phase of ‘service’ to self and others. ❤
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.