by Kalayna Solais
Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.
This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.
I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.
I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.
Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.
There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?
I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.
Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving!
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.