Category: By Raphael Awen

Living Beyond Duty And Obligation

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freedom

By Raphael Awen

Is there a new and healthier way to relate to responsibility? ….that isn’t about the old ways of duty, sacrifice and obligation?

This question came up on the Men’s call Saturday as we felt into what does a man truly ‘showing up’ in life look like.

I’ve had to give this question a lot of space this life as I set out as a young man to really ‘do it right’ with choice and commitment leading over any kind of ‘wishy washy feelings’ hindering my progress. It worked really well for me and a solid self image around it provided me a strong sense of momentum and togetherness, and life direction, until,…it no longer did.

Decades later, I became very uncomfortable with doing what was right when it was more and more becoming evident, that I was living for the approval of some part of me, or living AS this approval seeking part of me. I could feel that between the dictates of duty and my own heart was a whole new ground I was being invited to enter.

I knew the choices I was about to make would not harm anyone intentionally, but I knew many would be unavoidably hurt. I concluded a marriage bond of 23 years and let it be known to my very Christian world that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour. There was hardly any larger of a dynamite that could have been placed under my world as I knew it, and yet I felt held by life and the divine to declare and walk out these new choices.

I remember telling friends and family that I no longer wished to live my life by the dictates of duty and obligation. It was very evident to me that my deepest heart and greatest gifts that I had to give the world were not out of synch with the deepest gifts I had to give myself. I knew the message that ‘self is bad’ was no longer working for me. I knew I wanted to live from my heart and I knew I wanted to make my own heart a beautiful place,…the ‘hearth of my own heart.’ Instinctively, I knew I was in fact opening my heart to friends and family for the first time, but that me saying such a deep ‘no’ to a previously agreed upon way of relating together would probably and understandably end the relationships.

This new way of relating to responsibility is a key piece denoting entirely different planes of existence. And it hinges deeply on not just the idea, but the deeply held emotional feeling ground that the self is bad. While this feeling world lives intact inside of us, it works like a free energy device generating a cohesive operating system to power and navigate life. When this inner ocean of inner self-unworth begins to be felt and nurtured by one’s own maturing and arising higher self, along with their conscious and arising more authentic self, one can only expect huge rumbles that will play out in their life as they know it.

So what then would the new operating system look like, that wasn’t based in duty and obligation? “Is it just giving in to doing whatever you want, whenever you want?” Is the usual question of protest that is raised by those feeling uncomfortable with even discussing this question.

Honestly, the short answer to that question, for me is simply ‘yes.’ The longer process around that question is learning more and more about what I actually want, even through the experience of doing it wrong, or even causing harm. Only by feeling what I truly want and what others truly want can I ever harmonize the love that I am with the love that the universe is. Only through ceasing to deny myself the love that I am can I cease denying the love that I am to another.

I need not make any longer case here about the difference between operating from heart vs. operating from a moral code, or self-imposed or society-imposed ‘shoulds’.You can feel this and don’t need to be convinced of it any further if it resonates for you.

What does bear feeling further in all of this though is the difference between how a ‘leading edge’ part of you can agree wholeheartedly, while another ‘trailing edge’ part of you, at the same time, can be very attached to living in the old dynamics. Being of two minds in this way is normal for most of present day human consciousness. Finding a way to bridge between these polarized parts of ourselves is our key to sanity, rather than just living in a default war between these parts of ourselves, or a default deadness survival pattern.

In this way, real sanity is feeling how a ‘split personality’ is true for all of us to significant degree under the layer of our presented-to-the-world self image of togetherness. Our deepest sanity isn’t about a forced external pretense of unity inside of ourselves, but rather a deep commune between each part of ourselves that is led by our arising authentic self who can be heart-present to every part of ourselves in a conflict.

In SoulFullHeart, we intimately get to know and feel parts of ourselves. We feel how they live and express in us in both wounded and healed expression. We hold a space for every part of us that arises in reactivity to life and relationships. Anything less than feeling how our conflicts live in us sub-personally (in our sub-personalities) in this way is simply another trip down the self improvement aisle of the bookstore by the very part of us seeking to change itself, while our authentic self isn’t yet awoken to its calling to lead our inner family.

And with our question at hand around duty and obligation, it’s here that the question really gets answered. Parts of ourselves can smell dutiful love a mile away and don’t buy it, and won’t respond to it. It is only through genuine curiosity and desire to feel that they will open out their world and secrets to us.

Only now as our inner world is felt in this way does our draw to spirituality, or awakening, or ascension become something that isn’t suspect as a medicative kind of reality covering over unfelt inner pain.

Only now can we embrace all of our-selves, from our roots to our wings, to be included in an awakening that doesn’t leave entire domains of our being untouched.

Only now can we more fully step out of duty and into our own heart as the sacred place that it is and always was.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

On Showing Up

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By Raphael Awen

tidalwave_0

Never before are we being asked to show up like we are right now.

But what does it mean to ‘show up’?

The show is the show of your life, as you know it right now, as its unfolding before you. It is who and what is in your face, in your inbox. It is who has your number. It is what’s happening in public and private.

There’s a new word in our culture for the disappearing act people play when they want to exit a situation without facing a goodbye. It’s called ‘ghosting’. ‘Love bite’ is another very real scenario where a couple meet and soar to some mega heights of intimacy and sexuality, only to have one party inexplicably exit the relationship, leaving the other devastated.

Until we face and complete a situation or a relationship, we haven’t grounded the lessons life was wanting to give us through that very real drama in the show of our lives.

But what would propel us to avoid such completions? Could it be that subconsciously we are simply afraid to go on to our next lessons? Like the now quite famous saying of ‘our greatest fear is not that we are small, but rather that we are great beyond measure.’

I so believe that we are in the school of coming to terms with our own greatness, and this is what is going on in our relationship playouts. Life is ever seeking to lead us to know, feel and integrate our own bigness, the infinite love that we actually are, but have willingly forgotten, in order to be remembered into an even larger version of ourselves from the us that chose and surrendered to the forgetting.

Life is ever seeking to take us out into the deep waters beyond the fear of our own greatness into entirely new terrains that consciously we have yet to be introduced to. Life provides the path and stepping stones for us, but it only works to the degree we are willing to show up for it.

Showing up is about knowing what you really and truly want, and being willing to claim that, and then being willing to show up further for any of the fallouts and fallins that occur because of that claim.

Showing up for anything or anyone in life is only real if it begins with truly showing up for yourself in this way. Many will expound the virtues of selflessness here as a way to mask their fear of their own greatness. Showing up for others when you are not showing up for yourself is actually a form of cocreated and mutual abuse between you and the person you are supposedly helping. It’s a pact of mutuality to stay safely small known as caretaking.

Then these ghosting and love bite scenarios are the only option that’s left for people when their self worth is worn too low to sustain any more perceived loss to that meager self worth.

All of this changes intensely however when one begins choosing this new integration of showing up for themselves. Simply becoming honest with oneself reverses decades and even lifetimes of self-disintegration.

Where is life asking you to show up right now? I feel I can promise you (hopefully without sounding too parental) that if you are willing to show up for your own desires in this way, life will meet you and grace you with all that you need to navigate that choice point. Your choices are a very literal portal into the next versions of yourself that life is wanting to birth in you.

I’m showing up for a men’s group call tomorrow and I want to invite you to show up for it as well if this juice and energy calls to you. The group calls we lead most weekends are about introducing a path that we call SoulFullHeart and I invite you to check out our website as fully as it calls to you at soulfullheartwayoflife.com. The men’s group link for tomorrow is below (and there is a women’s group call that Jelelle is leading on April 15th..)

https://www.facebook.com/events/1123512704444039??ti=ia

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

From Scared to Sacred: Initiation of the Sacred Masculine

Published on by Raphael Awen4 Comments

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If there was ever a time that we needed a new template for the sacred masculine, that time is now. But where could that come from and what would that look like?

The masculine is always and forever the Sacred Masculine. Masculinity itself is out learning its way into knowing and feeling its essence; an attribute of divinity, out divining its way, through you and I.

Masculinity, like femininity is a polarity of a duality dance, but when either polarity loses its polarity, it loses its attractive energy, its power, its appeal. It is neutralized, neutered, emasculated. It moved from the sacred to the scared. Afraid. Limp. Milquetoast.

That’s where we are now….at the edge of scared trying to see a path that will take us back to Sacred.

I don’t think we need a return to some refurbished tribal hazing ritual over a sleep deprived weekend in a large auditorium gathering of men, with men dressed in fatigues yelling at you like a military sergeant. It’s quite pathetic what we came up with to address this deep hunger for a masculine template. Nature abhors a vacuum, so something will always show up as a filler until something more is ready to lead.

So where’s the arena then? Where’s the training gymnasium? Where do we go to get what we never got, or lost along the way?

True masculine energy is a sovereign energy. It is a king leading his personal kingdom. True king power originates from the heart, and if this heart is anything, it is autonomous. It does what it wants to, when it wants to, and it lives with the results, be they healthy or unhealthy. The queen is no less sovereign, no less individual, offering her portal to the Kings quest for no other reason than she wants to…IF, she wants to. Duty and obligation in this domain of heart, have long given way to desire and choice.

You are already doing this, you just can’t see it. Your life as you know it right now is the perfect gymnasium asking you to show up. So many things await your awakening? So many choices await your decree. The ground of this erection of the true King energy is none other than your life, arising from the sacral chakra…Your life as you know it right now is the true arena, the only training gymnasium…awaiting both your heart-on and your hard-on…your choice, your action, your lead, your pursuit of what YOU actually want!

And you as a man are inextricably linked to all men. Each man is a fractal of every other doing and riding life in the same gender expression vehicle. Your inhabitation of your own sacred masculinity is your greatest gift to all men…and it’s automatic. The ground you gain becomes your gift to all.

You don’t need another man to give this to you, because no man can actually give this to you, but you may find, like I have, that I need an arena of life, with other men to lead this in myself.

If these words juice you and call to you, I’d like to invite you to be a part the virtual group call for men that I am leading with Gabriel Heartman this coming Saturday.

Message me and I’ll give you the details…gotta run, I have a life to lead…. 🙂 and a queen to pursue…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Celebrating Eight Years Of Sacred Union Experience

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

us

Eight years ago, I joined my intention to his….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….started dating in July and married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years) having already moved through two major geography changes finally JUST settling in Canada when we married. And, the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for three and four years.

Our courtship was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherised by a man. AS I was also going through a dark night of letting go of ALL the souls I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was he there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.

Those ups and downs have settled over the years as we found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off last year, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.

We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.

Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis (a couple of those) and also our star BEing aspects. Very little conflict between us, fewer words needed, more soul connection…

I feel we are counterpart souls to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. I will be writing more about this in the future as it digests and arises for me and as I experience it deepen with Raphael. I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real, and we have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship. The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.

Being my counterpart, Raphael is like me yet NOT me and it is the beautiful blend of masculine and feminine that offers SUCH growth and mirror for our own inner union.

So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 8.5 years…..thank you to Raphael Awen my king, my BEloved, my cocreator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together.

Photo was taken on our wedding day eight years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!

By Raphael Awen

3 countries, 5 cities, a couple towns and and year and a half on an off grid ranch. Those are are bit of the outward journey of my 8 year marriage with Jelelle Awen. And it hasn’t stopped by any means…

Today is our 8 year anniversary! Happy Anniversary Beloved.

We didn’t set out to choose change for change sake, but rather to choose love and showing up for the rigours of relationship. At the outset, we knew the idea of hiding in any kind of ‘long distance relationship’ was not a question for us and that meant choosing between 2 countries, 2 career paths, etc. from the beginning. The epic choices to continually choose deepening love and to let go of the barriers to love continued, and continue to unfold right in this moment.

The place for settling and the need for some predictability have been met internally, rather than externally. Through finding, feeling and healing parts of ourselves who hold our resistance to love, we both have found a way, individually to live inside of a settled heart of love for ourselves, that only then are able to transact freely and deeply with each other. Quite surprisingly, this has made the external changes and choices arise quite naturally and navigably (if that’s a word). Even with me getting banned from the US at the border in 2009 and having to change our plans on a dime was met with a grace and a way through. We didn’t ‘have to’ leave country and career behind again in 2014, but the awareness was that another epic choice was right for us individually and as a couple. Our soul purpose deepening individually and our greatest adventure as a couple we knew lay in that choice. It was up to us. We could take it or leave it. We took it, and there hasn’t’ been a single regret.

We also knew from the outset and still know that we couldn’t make any kind of commitment to one another to ‘be there for each other no matter what.’ We couldn’t guarantee that then for each other and we don’t attempt that now. Our commitment to each other is predicated on our commitment to ourselves first.

I honour and celebrate this magical unfolding this day and every day as much as I am able. And, truth be told, and truth be tolled, it’s a tall order, and one I’m very glad to be tasked with…🙂

Happy Anniversary Beloved…

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Why Would Anyone Want To Be A Legend In Someone Else’s Mind?

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legend1

By Raphael Awen

This is day 2 of my new introduction to my soon-to-be re-released book ‘90 Days With Yeshua’ that I originally wrote in 2013. This introduction is written in the same easy dialogue fashion of our conversations from the book. I felt to share these new intro pieces here as I go. Enjoy…

Raphael: Good Morning Yeshua.

Yeshua: Good Morning Raphael.

R: I’m just feeling into where we might go together today…

Y: We don’t actually have to go anywhere…where we are is just fine if we can let that in.

R: I still find myself reaching for some dynamic outside of the moment somehow, like I’d like to enter a higher frequency awareness and feeling space than the one I’m consciously in at the moment.

Y: I so get that. It’s why people pray or meditate or read books, or watch movies, or drink a beer…to overlay a different feeling reality over the moment.

R: In one way, Yeshua, and a pretty big way at that, I find that sums up a whole lot of my relationship to life, even to this day. Even as I’m talking to you right now, I’m invested in it for some kind of a mood shift, and I’ll bet the people reading this would have to admit that the reason they are reading it is seeking some exit from something and entrance into something else to some degree.

Y: Here’s the deal though, Raphael. Being in a dualistic world, where one thing is always preferred over another is an art that leads you back to the moment if you follow it fully. Even when one settles for an escape instead of something deeply satisfying, that experience is part of their learning. The deeper appetite is unfulfilled, even though it may be dulled in the moment, or rather, dulled from the moment.

R: So it’s a pretty big pretzel though, because I often find myself in want of some kind of a mood shift, or experience shift. Like I said, that energy is present even in this moment of seeking deeper connection with you…

Y: Believe me, I hear you. What I want to convey to you in feeling this acutely with you, and I love how your heart and mind works, to evoke these inquiries….is to feel with you how the true portal to that mood shift as you call it, is actually an invitation into the moment, into the now, outside of time. You have this portal through your heart available in the now.

R: So the seeking of this mood shift as we’re calling it isn’t a negative thing in and of itself, and by negative, I mean a frequency lowering thing, but, it’s more about what source I turn to to get my needs met, choosing to go external vs. Internal…I get that part…

Y: I know you do…

R: The part I’d really like to get on with is entering that portal into the now and staying there more…
Y: Try this on for size…the feeling that you already do exist in the now….., we talk about entering the now as if you are not there already, but on a deeper level, you ARE the now.

R: ‘I am the now’….don’t know Yeshua if I’ve ever heard that anywhere else before?

Y: Cool huh….we’ve definitely got it going on friend…

R: We are legendary, in the truest sense, legends in our own minds….

Y: Why would anyone want to be a legend in anyone else’s mind!

R: Haven’t heard that one before either!

Y: Try BEing the now, recognizing that you are the now, and then the moralizing and shoulding about changing your mood can fall away as a relic of the past, and you get to enjoy and live in your native frequency.

R: THAT sounds so cool…and I notice it still offers us a focus, a choice point, even an effort point, but in a very different way, would you say?

Y: It’s the perfect marriage of doing and being actually. All the effort needed flows abundantly and freely from being, which turns the old definition of work on its head. There is choice, focus and effort still required, but in this higher dimension, there’s no shortage of that, and it flows from deep desire and joy. Work was never intended to be drudgery, but rather passion and fulfillment, that leads to more, and more.

R: And I like how it doesn’t emasculate me somehow…My power and choice is still very much a part of this, my individuality too…

Y: So many spiritualities here to this day are about trying to find some work around to this very point you bring up…the essential requirement of life itself of personal power and choice. No one is here doing life that isn’t on the deepest level seeking to come to terms with the God-being they actually are….seeking to learn how to create entire new worlds that they can feel as real….that no one can take away from them….

R: Wow, Yeshua, how do you wrap this up for today?

Y: I think I just did…all that’s left is choosing to BE, and letting BEing lead the doing…and it’s okay if that takes even a lifetime to learn, it’s worth it all, and besides, what could be funner?

R: Thank you Yeshua.

Y: You’re welcome Raphael.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Re-Release of ’90 Days With Yeshua’

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perception

By Raphael Awen

I am about to re-release soon the book ‘90 Days With Yeshua’ that I wrote in 2013. In preparation for that, I decided to write a prologue in the same fashion of our conversations from the book and felt to share them here as I do. It will be over a few days of dialogue and today is day one of that below. I hope to have you join me for the ride. Enjoy…

Raphael: Yeshua, This is Raphael. I’d like to reconnect.

Yeshua: Ahh, Raphael, yes let’s connect, you changed your name Man!

R: I did, Wayne left the building for the most part.

Y: Wow, My heart is warmed feeling from you…

R: ‘warmed feeling from you?’

Y: Hey man, we always made shit up didn’t we?

R: I guess we did, we sure did, and so here we are without missing a beat.

Y: No, I’ve missed our beat for sure. Glad you want to check in…very glad.

R: I feel our hearts recalibrating in the moment.

Y: I do too. Life isn’t the same without you, or was it Wayne? …who is Raphael anyway?

R: What was that, like 36 seconds in and you want to go deep…

Y: Hey man, we earned our dues together. No one else has ever done a 90 day stint together like we did.

R: And what a ride it was and still is for me. I need to reread it all again in the moment, to let it in again. The ground we covered in heart and learning was so moving. I think Raphael is the birth of all that we walked out together in words and heart.

Y: So what’s up now, like 365 days with Raphael or something? That sounds really good actually.

R: Well, not so fast…the bigger reason I wanted to connect is that I’m re-releasing the 90 days book and wanted offer a prologue to the new release of our heart and energy together.

Y: Okay, I’m in, but who knows where it might end up going?

R: Why does a part of me have a feeling that you already know the answer to that question?

Y: I know I’m not the same since we connected. Relationship is the great mover, if we’re willing to show up for it.

R: I miss you and our connection when you put it like that. Sometimes it feels like I simply made you up out of my deep longing for real connection.

Y: That’s the deal Wayne, I mean Raphael, you are continually making yourself up and everyone around you for that matter. We don’t perceive people as they are, they are as we perceive them for all intents and purposes, relationally speaking.

R: So then I am making you up…?

Y: Relationally, I can’t be to you anything outside of your perception of me. Christians see me a certain way, the son of an asshole, I might add, and that’s where we end up…talk about ‘made up’ in a right screwed up kind of way.

R: I’m sorry.

Y: Sorry about my edginess?

R: No, not at all, I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure.

Y: Thank you. I feel over it mostly. And if there’s any of that anger still to work out, It will in its own way and time I trust, probably through relating with you, I might add.

R: That’s touching Yeshua. I’m glad to find our ground again. I want to perceive you as you are, rather than as who I am making you up to be, but you said it doesn’t quite work that way…help me out here if you can…

Y: When you know you are perceiving me through a filter, you become conscious of that filter, and you take ownership of that filter to whatever degree you can…which is primarily simply coming to terms with the truth that your perceiver skews perception, then you are in admission of that, and THAT is what allows for a much deeper and truer knowing.

R: ‘not-knowing my way to knowing’…I know we covered that in 90 Days, more than once. It was an ongoing theme.

Y: So what do you know now Raphael?

R: I know that I don’t know, and that knowledge leads to deep trust and surrender. I know I am loved. I know I live in a perfect and benevolent universe. I know all is love. I know I am infinite love, surrounded by infinite love, sourced from love, returning to love, being re-membered back into infinite love. And all the rest is a stageplay pointing me back to this home over and over again.

Y: Now, you’ve got me worried that I’m just making you up. You are like too good to be true…

R: Well, we’re in good company then, and Yes, I did take in that compliment, and I’m sure I will be for hours or the rest of my life in some way. You are thee coolest guide and heart lover there is.

Y: I’ll bet you say that to all your guides.

R: I do actually. I’ve been introduced to a bunch since I learned to connect with you, and really, thanks to you.

Y: So what would you offer others who are reading this about connection itself? You and I can go on for like days, but I’m feeling to include the readers of our dialogue here to, which we are in our feeling tone energetics together, but what would you say to them directly?

R: I’d like to share with them my experience that all the connection they can imagine, quite literally, is theirs for the letting in. You don’t need to spiritually evolved or enlightened to do this. In fact, it helps a lot if you aren’t any of those bull shit things. You only need desire and willingness and a big dollop of self permission.

Y: Which is all sourced in the self…the desire, willingness and permission,…which makes this something anyone can have, and no one can take away…which is really fucking cool!

R: You don’t even need to have all pretty and polite language…:)

Y: Pretty and polite will keep you outside of this actually. Until, we are ready to feel what’s real down to the core of where we live and what we want, nothing can move. Then no matter how much prettiness is faked on the cake, it just won’t bake. I don’t want to be in any pretense with you Raphael. Wayne and I got into shit fully, with our heart and souls dirty and wrung out where we live.

R: Wayne is moved to tears right now as you just love-waved that. Thank you Yeshua….I love that love isn’t anything we’ve imagined it to be hardly.

Y: Well, he has my deepest respect. He, and you, are deep soul family, and that’s not because we popped out of the same pipe at the same time, but rather because we lived out the same choices and came to the same heart resonance together…and feel called to live that out as a soul gift to others…

R: Why do I always feel so opened out after talking to you?

Y: Well that gets back to not being able to come to know ourselves but through relationship in real life…we just had ourselves a big dose of self reflection and self love together.

R: Yeshua, I think that’s a lot for one day. Are you up for tomorrow?

Y: I am if you are…and you are, I can tell, so I am…

R: Keep an eye for me, I’ll be back soon.

Y: I know you will. I will to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

 

I Am One Inside Of Thee One

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one

By Raphael Awen

Everything you could ever want and dream of having is already yours on a very real dimension, in a very real time and place.

Your and my difficulty in seeing that and feeling that to be true is because of the veil of forgetfulness that we, as an act of this infinite power we all possess, chose to enter. We are living out a choice. We needed a sacred journey of deep sleep and awakening. We needed to die to our infinite greatness in order to be reborn to it, and in so doing become somehow more in our new reborn infinity than the infinity we surrendered. A good nights rest changes everything you could say.

The staggering greatness we all possess was so great, that even in our prior aware state, our waking state, there wasn’t enough juice for us to not be afraid of our own bigness.

It’s important to feel here, that we, as individuals are all a part of one great consciousness that we are actually sharing. We have within that one great consciousness, a perpetual and sovereign lease on individuality, but what we experience and feel as personal lack or personal inferiority is actually a part of the one divine consciousness out journeying towards a great awakening.

In this way, divinity itself is coming to terms with its own fears and sense of lack and emptiness. Why would we think that only our positivity is a reflection of our divinity? Let’s hold that question and offer a couple other related and important pieces that will help us see this…

I am sovereignly one. One inside of thee one. Part of me wants to say ‘Don’t come preaching to me a religious sounding oneness crap if you can’t also honour the total uniqueness of being that I am in contrast to you’. This is so important to feel for our awakening process because we are all feeling and healing the one consciousness AS we come to terms with what’s true in our personal consciousness.

When you have fear, worry and anxiety moving through you, the divine is learning its way to returning to awakening. When you are in utter bliss, joy and abundance is washing up on your shores, you are also equally awakening. Now, I, like you, have been trained to value the positive, but this is because of our conditioning and forgetfulness.

When we experience the so called negative, why would we think that these feelings are outside of our overall participation in and with divinity, our godhood?

Nothing is actually in power over us dictating our reality. We sure got busy creating the illusion that the opposite is true, but now at these times of awakening, the only forward momentum or gravitational lift we can find seems to be around coming to terms with our own power.

Hence we gave ourselves a great big self created reality of an absence of our power through this veil of forgetfulness. Now, however, we really do want to awaken fully. Divine oneness created duality, and we best make no mistake, both are now equally true, and in complete harmony. You and I as separate and distinct are one and the same. Both are true. We’re living in 2 worlds. Only as we accept both worlds can either of them be true, and come to blend.

So what now? In this moment of wanting to come to terms with this more and more? I say follow your desire. The word desire literally means ‘of the sire’ meaning something to do with fathering the seed of our most deepest longings into the ground of all being. Sounds wild, but it’s as simple as truly letting our desires out to play.

And herein, we are advised of the great courage it is to want new things and more things so intensely while also feeling so grateful for what we have. We can do this because on this being level, any and every wish we wish for, we are already in possession of that wish. Let both desire and possession and gratitude flow through. Feel it. Feel it. Feel it.

I want to help you feel it if I can. I’m writing these words today out of a desire to seed a new consciousness deeper into myself and others at the same time. If your desire calls you to ask for personal space-holding with me in session space, let’s do it! I want you, I want your money exchange as an authorization of your power to be served by my power,.. I want to inhabit my next steps into this brave new world with you.

Others are available for sessions as well and you can see more here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Leaving Is Entering

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no time

By Raphael Awen

Every leaving is always and also an entering.

Oftentimes in our wrestling with a deep choice at hand, be it an exit or entrance moment in our lives, we think we are anxious about what we are focused on, ie, the entering or the leaving, when in actuality, we are actually subconsciously more in anxiety about this counterpart of our focus. These two cannot be separated in our dualistic relationship to life and time and space, and are all part of the same choice.

We are actually in perfection before, after and during our decision points, but to have growth and grist in our school of learning, we actually need a degree of not feeling the perfection of all things in order to re-member it back into our being. We need the stress of choice, and even the anxiety that comes with that. We just don’t want to suffer in a cycle of that beyond what is necessary for our growth. In this, it is always us who decides what ‘enough’ is, and when to move on. Even the suffering is not outside of perfection.

We came from complete perfection, and we retained this perfection, but we gave up the conscious awareness of it (so it definitely feels like we lost it) in order to feel and heal our way to even more than we were in our previous perfection. Who’d have guessed that we’re busy improving on perfection, or that it’s even possible, but it feels like perfection is an ever expanding and changing reality, and one that we are being invited into…

It seems we were perfect, but we lacked somehow in our perfection a relationship with our perfection. It’s like being married to the most beautiful and amazing woman on the planet, but having lost sight of it and her. What else is there to do but leave in order to one day rediscover, and in the process, end up with something even more than you didn’t know you had.

So, get in, there’s no more time to explain it any more fully to the rational mind. There’s room in passenger seat for the rational mind and plenty of space to process the whats and wheres that intuition is inviting us all into…

If this lands in you, consider yourself etherically tagged here in FB land, and in the soulscape of the one-being that we are feeling and healing the same stuff in different ways and times. If I can be of service to you in any of the enterings or leavings that life is inviting you into, I’d love to show up for you and be in energy exchange with you through a session space… http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Our Doing State Reveals Our Being State

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By Raphael Awen

being

Being is always and forever upstream of all doing…

Whatever we are engaged in doing, we are doing it as a being. We are not being it as a ‘doing.’ There is a secret here that pertains deeply to our freedom.

Through the limited lens of 3D living (seeing the 3rd dimension as all there is), we may call ourselves a human being, but what we feel ourselves to be on a deep emotional level is a ‘human doing’, regardless of our mentally paying homage to the idea of being a human being.

In this way, emotional perception always trumps thinking. It is our emotional states that control our experience of love, joy, bounty and beauty. What good is all the love in the world if you can’t let it in? Changing our mental perceptions will assist us in eventually coming to new feeling states and deeper felt awareness, but what if we could find a way to directly access our feeling states and thereby experience quantum change, healing or metamorphosis? What would that look like?

I’d like to experience more of that for sure!

Let’s see if we can ground this discussion in something extremely practical. Many people don’t see household chores as something they look forward to doing, (speaking from recent personal experience). But to ask the question, what am I ‘being’ while I am not enjoying a round of household chores leads us to directly to our emotional states. This explains our focus on efficiency and convenience; anything to get me out of this uncomfortable feeling space sooner. Most of us are deeply afraid of our own emotional states fearing that if we enter that world, it will consume us and we will never return, at least not with our sanity intact. Here sanity is way over-rated! Sanity for most people is their ability to ‘function’, or in other words, their ability to stay stuck in the cycle of being a human doing, forever locked out of being.

If instead, in the middle of finding ourselves not enjoying something we tasked ourselves with doing, we could ask ourselves what our emotional body is asking for or needing, we have an opportunity to return directly to being…right in that moment. This however is truly scary because ultimately listening to this voice of our feelings could (and will, in my truth) require us to move towards changing our lives profoundly. This fear reaction is another feeling state; present, distinct, and vocal, from the first voice of desire or need. Now, unless we can find a way to embrace all of our emotional body, we are left with an unresolvable civil war on the inside. Hence, our deep attempts at checking out, or going back to the doing focus on life.

But that’s not working for you very well any longer or you wouldn’t be here reading, I suspect.

How all of this can be different is through a deep resolve that enters your life, that you are done with the ways of suppressing your emotional reality, and that you are done with the ways of suppressing your expanding consciousness. You come to the large admission of ‘I want help’ while realizing that all of the help you can stand is ready and willing to enter your life. You come to the realization that your predicament and your journey through it is the sacred process you came here for. You realize that your predicament is profoundly tied to your deepest soul purpose and fullest potential of being.

You came here to expand and grow, like the universe itself, expanding and growing. This dawning awareness of the pain inside is actually the portal to this expansion of being.

The only other option is to see if you can crawl back up this birth canal that life is taking you through. I haven’t seen anyone succeed with that, but I do see everyday, people under huge pretzels of anxiety and anger, usually numbed down with all kinds of medications (pharmaceutical, behavioural, spiritual practices), as a result of their resistance to growth.

Life keeps inviting us into our next growth places, promising huge love and support in return for our courage to face the monsters of our own emotions crawling under our beds that await the flashlight of our emerging love for our self, our emerging love for being, our emerging unwillingness to support the insanity any longer.

SoulFullHeart is one such offering of a heart-light kind of help that if its right for you, can lead you to your true heart and soul essence expressing more and more. We, and I, offer that through our free writings, videos, blog, website, as well as through paid space-holding sessions, as well as through immersion visits here with us in Puerto Vallarta.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Growth By Choice

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

sunset

By Raphael Awen

The universe can never violate our free will, and make a choice for us, as it invites us into a fearful next step of our growth. It does seem however that while the universe can’t violate our free will, and force anything upon us, it does withdraw any support for us to prolong a path that it feels we are done with. In other words, the universe will not enable us to remain in a smaller place when it’s time for us to enter a larger expression of ourselves. Divine source feels where our higher self wants to go, while also feeling the parts of us in pain or anxiety over a given choice. It gently, patiently and yet firmly points us to our next steps.

I can say from personal experience that when I arrived at a surprising juncture of choice that would change my life profoundly, I was always given a sense and feeling of deep guidance and the time I needed to digest and integrate that guidance along with deep waves of love and support to where I could feel deeply held while the courage and clarity arose to act on that choice. This enabled me to consciously and groundedly walk out steps that would change my life forever.

I feel many of the people drawn to SoulFullHeart are at such junctures, particularly with men who are drawn to me for space-holding. And if I could speak to you directly, if that’s you, I feel to say I am ready if you are. I see a meeting room of some awesome architecture in the mountains that overlooks a wide space. I see your intentionality and mine creating a new ‘third thing’…a going on place into your true heart and soul growth and freedom.

I see you on another timeline, with the presenting ‘problem’ now fully behind you, and you asking yourself ‘So, now what?…now that this difficulty no longer defines and caps my life, my energy,….now what?’

I feel the universe inviting you into this question because if you can feel into it now, then you can tailor the steps you are taking with the end in mind from the outset. The end is here and available at the beginning, while the universe invites into the time and space walk-out of that choice to imbibe the growth and love into every cell of your being. It’s in feeling this end from the beginning where deep self love and support can flood your being!

Now, the timeline you are being invited into holds its deepest offer of love and growth vibrantly as it also feels with you the gravity of the loss you are also feeling. Only now are you enabled to choose and guide like the God-being you are. Only now are you enabled to fully feel the part of you for whom this loss will be profound. Only now does this deep change move in self loving ways that feel all that wants to be felt so the changes can healthily ground into your new life and timeline.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.