Our First ‘Year’: Celebrating A Year Of Sacred Union Romance

By Kalayna Colibri

I wrote this poem last year, as Gabriel Heartman and I began to revisit the romantic love we once had for and with each other…

It (re)started one year ago. We were sitting on Jelelle and Raphael’s sofa on opposite ends. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about but then Jelelle looked at us both and said, “why don’t you two explore together?” We knew what she meant and as we let this invitation sink in, I couldn’t help but feel myself trying to suppress a grin.

Since this day, Gabriel and I have been in sacred exploration of sacred union. We have experienced quite a bit together in this past year, both within us as individuals and within our ‘Us-ness’ – the bond that forms between two lovers in sacred union commitment. Neither of us are the same as when we began to dive into this a year ago. Neither of us can know just how much more we are both about to change deeper still…

I love this man… so much so that it’s hard to be away from him. In some moments I have to check in and see if this is a codependency between us, and yet, lately, the missing has been sweeter and deeper, not one of a longing or ache for fulfillment that can only come when the other is around. This is what it would have felt like for me in the past. But no, not so much now. Now it’s more of a missing of his entire being. Of everything that makes him him and makes me me in dance and contrast to him. Of the deep bond we have cultivated together since our first meeting back in 2012, while going in and out of relationship both romantic and otherwise.

Gabriel… I love you, appreciate you, and can’t wait to see where our path together brings us now, both in ourselves and in our shared life. Sometimes I can’t believe I get to be with you. And then, when I do let it in, I feel myself breathing with hot desire and cool passion, both…

Happy Anniversary, beloved. ❤️🔥

~

With ease we love.

As love we breathe.

In each moment with you
with us…
a place of golden hues
and sinews of silky love tones
uniting our hearts, souls
and bodies too…

Years, lifetimes
and no time
bring poignant everythings
and love flow
like crashing waves upon a hungry shore.

In you I see me and the mateship within
With you I feel us and the starships of all
and in constancy the ceiling above
continues its upward flight
on cotton clouds of whispered rememberances
and newly arising constellations.

May we love until the stars fall backward
into laps of ancient gods unknown.

And our inward glances
bring new tidings
of a love that is meant for all!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The Anniversary Of Choosing Love

By Raianna Shai

It has been exactly one year today that I moved to Mexico. Not only that, but it has been one year that I really began to see myself. To honour the unique and different parts of me that may not always coexist in harmony, but that I have come to realize care for me and each other so deeply.

One year ago I began a deep dive into my emotional body and spirituality that shone a light into the dark corners of my existence. What I uncovered were often scared parts that felt unworthy of love. From a fierce protector that did anything it could to protect me and my other parts to those young and pure parts that I felt needed protecting.

The biggest and most beautiful thing that I learned this year was how to love. How to love these parts of me, because that’s all they really need and want. To love others so genuinely that I can let them go knowing it’s best for the both of us. To love all of the souls I haven’t met yet by cultivating love within myself first.

I have learned and felt how setting boundaries (with love) is the biggest way to nourish your soul and to send the message to your parts that they matter. That the energy I choose to be around and take in, matters. I have learned that boundaries don’t mean hate or not accepting someone for who they are. When done from the heart, boundaries are the most loving thing you can do when someone you care about cannot yet see their own bigness or yours.

I spent a lot of time away from my family before moving here but something has changed. They aren’t just my family anymore, they are my soul family. I’m at a place now where I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to put everyone else first because I know that they are taking care of their own parts as lovingly and fully as possible.

I’ve always loved helping others. Talking through what was going on in their lives, making them feel better, finding solutions or a silver lining. But I wasn’t giving that to myself at all. I was so scared of the dark places inside of me that I couldn’t even nourish the light. I would help anyone I could to escape the emptiness I felt inside. I felt so disconnected from my soul and judgement towards the intense emotions I could feel sometimes. It was like a drug hit to be able to feel someone else because in some ways I refused to feel my own parts.

Even when no one asked, when they would never expect me to hold as much as I did, I was there. It was my vice, my escape, to be able to be in their world and not my own, knowing I wasn’t happy. Knowing I wasn’t doing what was really in my heart. While also knowing I couldn’t help anyone in the way that I really wanted to.

I’ve got a lot more exploring to do but I feel that I am where I am meant to be in this moment. I am happy, I am becoming more fulfilled each and every day, and I am open to whatever it is this life (and others) lead me to next. I chose everything I have experienced this life and I’m more than happy that it led me here.

So thank you. To SoulFullHeart, to my soul family, to everyone who has ever touched my heart, to my parts, to my experiences, and to myself. For this journey we’re all on is precious. It’s hard, it’s arduous, and it can feel complicated to parts of us. But wow does it keep on giving us gifts!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Celebrating Eight Years Of Sacred Union Experience

By Jelelle Awen

us

Eight years ago, I joined my intention to his….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….started dating in July and married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years) having already moved through two major geography changes finally JUST settling in Canada when we married. And, the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for three and four years.

Our courtship was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherised by a man. AS I was also going through a dark night of letting go of ALL the souls I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was he there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.

Those ups and downs have settled over the years as we found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off last year, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.

We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.

Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis (a couple of those) and also our star BEing aspects. Very little conflict between us, fewer words needed, more soul connection…

I feel we are counterpart souls to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. I will be writing more about this in the future as it digests and arises for me and as I experience it deepen with Raphael. I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real, and we have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship. The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.

Being my counterpart, Raphael is like me yet NOT me and it is the beautiful blend of masculine and feminine that offers SUCH growth and mirror for our own inner union.

So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 8.5 years…..thank you to Raphael Awen my king, my BEloved, my cocreator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together.

Photo was taken on our wedding day eight years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!

By Raphael Awen

3 countries, 5 cities, a couple towns and and year and a half on an off grid ranch. Those are are bit of the outward journey of my 8 year marriage with Jelelle Awen. And it hasn’t stopped by any means…

Today is our 8 year anniversary! Happy Anniversary Beloved.

We didn’t set out to choose change for change sake, but rather to choose love and showing up for the rigours of relationship. At the outset, we knew the idea of hiding in any kind of ‘long distance relationship’ was not a question for us and that meant choosing between 2 countries, 2 career paths, etc. from the beginning. The epic choices to continually choose deepening love and to let go of the barriers to love continued, and continue to unfold right in this moment.

The place for settling and the need for some predictability have been met internally, rather than externally. Through finding, feeling and healing parts of ourselves who hold our resistance to love, we both have found a way, individually to live inside of a settled heart of love for ourselves, that only then are able to transact freely and deeply with each other. Quite surprisingly, this has made the external changes and choices arise quite naturally and navigably (if that’s a word). Even with me getting banned from the US at the border in 2009 and having to change our plans on a dime was met with a grace and a way through. We didn’t ‘have to’ leave country and career behind again in 2014, but the awareness was that another epic choice was right for us individually and as a couple. Our soul purpose deepening individually and our greatest adventure as a couple we knew lay in that choice. It was up to us. We could take it or leave it. We took it, and there hasn’t’ been a single regret.

We also knew from the outset and still know that we couldn’t make any kind of commitment to one another to ‘be there for each other no matter what.’ We couldn’t guarantee that then for each other and we don’t attempt that now. Our commitment to each other is predicated on our commitment to ourselves first.

I honour and celebrate this magical unfolding this day and every day as much as I am able. And, truth be told, and truth be tolled, it’s a tall order, and one I’m very glad to be tasked with…🙂

Happy Anniversary Beloved…

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.