By Raphael Awen
Underneath all of our anxiety, depression; underneath all of our motivation and lack of motivation; in the bedrock of our lives and in the bedrock of our Metasoul can be found anger at God for individuating us out of itself.
‘The me who may have agreed to the whole plan doesn’t feel like the me who has to patiently endure the veil, the slow path to remembrance, and the boredom of something missing, something so deeply lost’ was the voice that came forward this week, followed quickly by another voice that said ‘but I can’t be angry at God! God is our only hope of return’.
I had quite a dam of tears break free right then, feeling compassion for the parts of me and my Metasoul feeling this bedrock underneath all the dramas of this life, especially as and triggered by new dramas that are wanting to unfold.
These past few weeks, I’ve been given to feeling the invitation to return to being in the moment; feeling how and when I’m not in the moment, etc. This awareness of this ‘soul fear/anger of individuation from the divine’ that I’m writing about today really speaks to why we avoid the moment. The moment contains this access to what’s real inside of us. Our Gatekeeper aspect of us has been convicted that we couldn’t handle this awareness, that feeling this fear would short circuit us or cause us to abandon our misssion, suicide (which as the gods we are is actually, a ‘deicide – killing god’).
Our conscious selves have lived in a kind of militaristic compartmentalized hierarchy world of only knowing what we need to know to do our part, while other ‘commander’ aspects of our being hold a vastly larger overview of our soul purpose, our mission, our origin and our destination. We are invited now as the time has come to bridge these compartments and to feel the larger reasons and realities for our being. This sheds much light on the persistent wounding patterns playing out in parts of us this life.
How do we do this?
I believe we do this most simply and most profoundly by simply being willing and humble to feel all there is to feel. The rest is built in – the timing, the pieces, the resources, the relationships that come and go, the life changes. Like the bodies autonomic function, we don’t need to concern ourselves with how to breathe or how to get our heart to function. It just does, providing we remain ‘opted in’ to life. Opting in to your emotional body is a choice that more and more people are awakening to. The healing that occurs from this willingness to feel never ceases to amaze me.
Please check us out the link above if SoulFullHeart feels like a going on place for your healing journey. We have a free intro session available. Our website, YouTube channel and blog offers a ton of goods about this emotional body awakening that you can explore for free.
Photo yesterday of our first snowfall this winter.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂