Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

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Calibrating To NEW Waves Of Love After September’s Growth Processes

by Kalayna Solais

We grow to glow…

Don’t we?

So much inner processing and it all leads somewhere new. Sometimes that new place suddenly dawns on us, reveals itself in moments unexpected. It so pays to have as much resonance around you as you and your parts can let in in order to experience this and feel the magic of the revelation when it’s being reflected by those you love.

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I am in the dawn of a new phase of deeper and brighter self-awareness that’s come from years of feeling quite anchored in frequencies that I knew weren’t me and that I just had to be with as I felt parts of me that weren’t ready to let go of what was hurting them yet. This continues to be a process but it’s finally reaching a place where the clouds are parting more easily and often. I know in my heart this is a good place to be that has been hard-earned now. And also that this new spaciousness inside of me is meant to hold even deeper dives into soul patterns and pain but also hold space for others as they come to me for support on their healing and Ascension journeys.

The gathering we held last week was a gift in so many ways that are still landing in me. It’s felt surreal to be serving love and giving energy healing to souls that really wanted to be immersed with us here! I could feel the payoff of where I’ve gone inside, especially in the challenges of the last few months. This ended up bringing me some physical symptoms to move through too, as my chakras recalibrate to what’s real NOW.

I sat at one of my favourite spots last night to take this photo. I wanted to visit with the animals that live nearby and take in the sunset codes too. I was feeling how amazing of a day I just had with collaborating with Jelelle on the stunning women’s call we held together yesterday while also feeling some sadness in my field… Some of it mine, some of it not. There’s still so much I’m learning to let in of the real goodness and LOVE streaming in right now while also feeling parts that are afraid.

That’s the ongoing process for everyone on some level… The calibration and re-calibration to REAL love and what it invites and asks.

Happy last day of September, everyone! What a MONTH! ❤️

~

You can purchase the recording of the call with Jelelle and me yesterday on our website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com 🦋

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Processing Rage Into Passion With Care

By Kalayna Colibri

Rage sometimes pours out like volcanic lava, ready to burn and melt down, create a reset or reboot as it moves through. We’re barely into 2019, yet already we are feeling what it’s pushing up… more to look at within, more to feel rage at but then find the real hurt and vulnerability underneath it. Anger and the parts that feel it need to be validated. It’s meant to help elucidate what isn’t ok anymore, what needs boundaries set around it, and what needs shifting in any area of your life.

Rage can also become an addiction, like anything else. It can be used by parts of you to self-medicate and avoid feeling vulnerability. It can also be used to avoid feeling others and your impact on them, which, even though they may answer your anger with their own and not seem impacted in a deeper way, they have been… as have you. Your anger has impact on your parts too, especially the ones that do feel more hurt and sadness, self-consciousness, ache for love.

There’s nothing to control here, but there’s a ton to feel and keep feeling. There are so many questions to keep asking. The fire of anger and frustration is needed in phases of awakening and moving forward in your life, yet ultimately it wants to be transmuted into passion and taken in the direction of creation, not destruction. The direction of love… heart-centered and fulfilling.

We cannot skip this step of truly feeling it and getting the good stuff on the other side of it. There’s so much it needs to rumble with yet also so much it needs to shift into as the dust and ashes settle on the new ground being birthed within. The rageful warrior inside holds an invitation to move into a role of ambassador of heart and soul, dropping the sword and baring the heart. This is important to remember, even as the fire burns you up from the inside and wants to spread into your outer world too.

There is ultimately no ‘other’, even when you feel opposition. And if that’s really true… there is always a ton of reflection to take in and be with, get real about, and start loving from these increasingly passionate places within.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Live Stream With Kalayna & Raianna TOMORROW, Aug 2nd, at 4pm CDT!

by Kalayna Colibri

Only one more week until Lion’s Gate and the energies are helping us open up and out, guiding us to new ways to BE and inviting us to honour the sacredness of our humanity as we move into another year of openings, awakenings and deep movements. It truly feels to me like Lion’s Gate IS the ‘new year’ celebration for the spiritually conscious, as we bathe in the waters of renewing light and incoming waves of love.

Raianna and I felt guided to hold this live stream as an opportunity to feel these energies, to feel the next places in our consciousness expansion and inner healing that they are inviting us into, no matter what age, label, sun sign, etc we may feel most resonant with or that parts of us may be attached to. It feels like this live stream is about feeling our realness, the sacredness of our emotions no matter how messy, feeling how life and Divine love continue to invite us to inhabit vulnerable leadership, feeling how we are being guided to BE with ourselves, others and love itself as we continue to move through our personal activations and integrations on a soul, heart, and star seed level too.

This, we feel, is what the new wave of what has been known as ‘New Age’ spirituality is about… being real, bringing our truths yet with care, being where and who we are in this moment with an openness to feel that this is not all we are or all we’re meant to be and have. From this place of going into our depths, we get to awaken to more of who we are as individual souls and we can connect to our galactic aspects too that are waiting to reunite with us.

We will also lead a guided meditation tomorrow, to hold space with you as we all go inward for a moment and feel our next pieces we’re being invited into in service of love to ourselves and others and our next layers of feeling what the ‘new wave of the new age’ means to us all on a personal level. You may even meet a galatic Metasoul Aspect of yours who has been waiting for contact with you, if it’s time for that in this phase of your personal journey.

We look forward to digesting all of this with you tomorrow and welcome your questions, comments, and personal sharings as well!

Tune into our live stream at 4pm CDT tomorrow (Aug 2nd) on our Youtube channel: SoulFullHeart Experience or on my Facebook page: Kalayna Colibri.

Much love,

Kalayna Colibri & Raianna Shai

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Invitation To Heal Metasoul ‘Battle’ Legacies On ‘Human Rights Day’

by Kalayna Colibri

women's rights

This morning I felt a desire to feel into what’s sparking up today in the collective. It turns out that today is ‘International Human Rights Day’. A day that holds celebratory energy yet despair too and is the mark of many ‘battles’ from different groups of humans… some still happening today, yet all still happening in the Now as time is not linear… fires, started up and fuelled by separation wounding, starting within and flowing outward, affecting us all and affecting our love flow together.

The meaning of what it is to be ‘human’ has shifted so much over the ‘centuries’ and timelines…. which are actually still very active today, in this Now, and aren’t in the ‘past’ at all. Parts of us and especially Metasoul Aspects feel different events and situations that appear in our linear sense of history, happening in the Now… as time is not now, nor ever really was linear, except for in our 3D sense of reality that we have needed to be in up ’til Now.

The ‘powers that be’ (mostly political and very Archonic/Reptillian feeling to me, at least for the most part) have deemed this race or that gender ‘human’ and granted rights for things like voting and participation in politics, rights to get married, rights to have clean and drinkable water, rights to renewable energy, rights to religion and worship, rights to ‘freedom’ in general. All of this seems to still be argued about, debated about. So much arguing, so many reasons to confirm or deny or acknowledge and especially to feel… to empathize, which is so much more than sympathize. This has been so challenging, as on some level of our being, in different parts and soul aspects of us, we can feel the ways in which we are all a reflection of each other’s pain, wounded motivations and self-punishment, yet desires and soul and heart gifts too. Even after all these ‘years’ of charged events and situations, so much is still in upheaval and so much is still holding up a powerful mirror along with a perpetually pregnant invitation to keep going inward, to feel the origination of all of this turmoil that still rages within, though perhaps the inner battlegrounds have mostly be shrouded in shadow, and even covered over by the coveted elevation into 5D and beyond, with parts and soul aspects of us wanting to ‘just be passed this already’.

When I really feel my own humanity today, I feel how conditioned parts of me have been to project their reality outward. In a sense, it feels like we are all walking projectors. We are all able to create or dismantle our outer realities, based on our inner reality and what is rumbling inside parts and Metasoul Aspects of us. A few months ago, I felt a Metasoul Sister of mine named ‘Meg’. Meg was a Suffragette in her timeline in England. She somehow rose up to become a sort of micro-leader (under a much bigger and elusive leader of the Suffragette movement who they didn’t see very often for she was in hiding and had to be discreet), for a large group of women of mixed ages. The outrage boiled over to the point of burning down government buildings or at least attempting to. Explosives and other weapons were something that Meg learned how to use and taught and led other women to use them too. Together they rallied and fought. Were arrested and released. The suppression and repression of women were not relieved though and were mostly intensified by their efforts. Eventually, yes, they did ‘win’ the vote and a place in the political sphere, yet with so much turmoil, bloodshed, tears and incredible pain inflicted not only on others but on themselves. Their pain was acted out from, thrust outward like a sword. So many of us and parts of us can relate to this, especially after having been wronged in some way, abused, victimized, which is understandable, especially given the lack of templating for how to do and BE something different than this in our 3D sense of reality. The biggest, deepest movement I’ve had with this Metasoul Aspect came during a SoulFullHeart group day, where she could come up and be felt by the tender yet strong and somehow NOT warrior-like feminine heart in Jelelle Awen and the open, healing, and trustworthy hearts in Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen as male witnesses to her plight. The sweet tears of Raianna Shai were there for her too and they could feel a shared Metasoul timeline of sisterhood, which was sweet and heart-opening to let in. She was moved into feeling how the needs of the women could have been brought with spine and vulnerability, both. Without battles and with much more trust. They allowed a seed to be planted in their consciousness, that fighting as the men were doing or seemed to be doing, was the only way to meet them as equals and prove their worth as human women. Yet, Meg could feel and is feeling with me now as I write this with her in my heart, that they were actually being invited to lead something different than this, from a place deep within, rooted in a genuine expression of Yin power and self-leadership which feels so different than outward expressions of OUTrage and warriorship.

In all of our attempts to garner more ‘human rights’, we often forget that the true heart of a human being, and especially that of a Sacred Human as we are invited to keep embodying and healing to more and more, is collaborative, empathic, feeling, and somehow inherently trusting. We have needed to forget this for a time in order to remember it again in fullness and contrast to how we’ve felt and held our power or powerlessness so far. To truly listen to each other, feel each other’s needs in overflow from feeling our own… this is the ongoing invitation from and with Love. It may seem idealistic and honestly, to my Meg, it felt like this at first. Yet the more we go inward, especially with feeling parts of us and Metasoul Aspects too, the more we realize that this doesn’t have to remain an ideal and that the peace we all so want to experience and be a part of in our deepest Sacred Human hearts, has to start within, and this is the only place where we can control whether or not we experience it in this and any timeline. And, once this process has begun, the fictional story of the need to take away anyone’s ‘rights’, human or animal, becomes obsolete, dissipates and eventually dissolves completely as the Golden Earth/New Gaia we are waiting and working for, is then allowed to arise out of our hearts in an organic fashion as it is meant to, instead of fought or battled for as this necessary phase of the illusion of separation has conditioned parts of us to feel is the only way to get, to earn, to create what we really desire to experience and feel worthy of.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

The Desire For Love Underneath It All

by Kalayna Colibri

Lantern

 

Beneath the desire to predict, to plan for, to kNOw ‘what’s next’… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shadowy figures of men and women at the helm of leadership, who desire battles, who embody tremendous self-righteousness, who abuse and accuse others… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shut-outs, the push-aways, the cling-to-forevers…. is a desire for love.

Beneath your resistance to love, as expressed outwardly and inwardly, in words, in energy, in self-harm, in harm of others… is a desire for love.

And in that desire, all of the answers to questions of ‘why’ can be illuminated. And so much more can be felt, heard, seen, healed… loved.

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It often feels as if the 3D world really doesn’t want love. Some might even say outright that they don’t want love, claiming that love really isn’t the answer, or that love is only for the fortunate. Deep unworthiness to receive and let in love in the truest, deepest sense, is surfacing more and more now. There is deep unworthiness in our leaders. Deep unworthiness in fear and war-mongering. Deep unworthiness, pain, sadness, woundedness, in our patriarchal expressions as men and women, in relationships, in ourselves, at work, at home, out in the world. In all ‘fights’ we choose to instigate or be a part of in some way, we are expressing resistance to love… and where love wants to move us, what it wants to illuminate for us, what it wants to remind us that we ALL are… LOVE, embodied, ever-present.

Sometimes love is even resisted with love… it is resisted in the sense of what it wants to bring you about your wounding, which can sometimes be most easily found by going into your shadow. It is resisted by the ‘twin flame’ picture, that offers more suffering than goodness, more clinging than letting go. It is resisted in all of the ways parts of you would rather not feel. Love cannot transform or move you to new heights unless a certain facade is allowed to be cracked.

The 3D world wants love, yet is afraid of what love really is. A catalyst, a river, a cliff, a flashlight in the dark, a path less travelled or never travelled before… and an end to the depths of human suffering, starting within.

My beloveds and I offer a process of becoming reacquainted with love in a real sense of it… feeling parts of you that are resistant to truly letting it in and letting it move you in a new direction. If this appeals to you, you can read more about the process here: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Also, Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube this coming Sunday, where they will talk more about this process and way of life. You can go here for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling And Healing Our Inner ‘Wounded Healer’ And Our Push-Pull In Serving Others

by Kalayna Colibri

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As we move through our own ascension processes, we may feel called to serve others in their own processes too. Actually, it feels like many of us are feeling this calling deeper and deeper and it’s becoming as loud as a roar while things ramp up in our world with collapsing systems and collapsing ways of life. As more and more of the inauthentic, power-over-others based ways of being and doing fall apart around and within us, there is a growing need to help each other sift through the rubble and find a way to keep moving forward through life and upward with ascension on all levels of our being. In addition to this desire to be a part of creating and building a new world, we feel called to be healers because somewhere inside of us, we NEED to be healers, for the sake our own growth and healing too. It becomes a crucible for healing just like any other. The more we open up to serving love with others, the deeper the invitation into our own growth as souls and sacred humans too.

A question I feel to ask today regarding this call to be a healer, is what qualifies someone to become the healer they’re meant to be? After all, for many (if not all) of us who are choosing to expand our consciousness in every moment, becoming a ‘healer’ is more or less a birthright. In my experience of it though, it’s not a role we’re entitled to, nor is it something that we can expect to just sort of ‘happen’. It seems to me that as healers, we tend to have the toughest life crucibles to walk out and also, we tend to have inside of us a deep reticence towards healing and serving others that also needs to move and heal… ‘healing the healer’ involves going deeply into this shadow of the ‘wounded healer’ and in essence our courage to go into this so feels like what qualifies us, above all else, to serve others with sobriety, deep empathic feeling, genuine compassion, and reverential awe for who they are in soul, heart and body. You won’t have authentic access to feel and hold others in this way while parts of you are still feeling very much the opposite. This could be subtle too, so this process of really going into and healing this can be tricky, making it very necessary to have help from those who have been there when venturing into this shadow territory. This is a key piece we offer in SoulFullHeart and one that we hold as critical for being able to truly embody our healership and genuinely serve love.

It doesn’t seem to ever get to the point where your energy can honestly say to others, “I’m healed so now I can serve you”. Rather, it’s more about getting to the point where you can open-heartedly claim, “I’m vulnerably working some pieces, but I am ahead of you enough on my chosen path of healing that I can serve you and help you find your way to where I am now.” It feels important to note that ‘ahead’ is not ‘above’ and if the healer you’re working with doesn’t feel like they are ahead of you and embodying something you too would like to embody, and is maybe instead posturing as if they are worth more than you are, this is a sure sign of an inauthentic claim of their healership and that they may need to check in with where their own love overflow is at.

Ultimately, what seems to ‘qualify’ us is so not certifications, though of course these initiations can help and can also lead us to the paths we are meant to be on. Instead, life is the ultimate qualifier, as well as humbled self-authority which is also necessary. Yet parts of us claiming authority on something we/they haven’t yet lived out or embodied creates a tinny tone to this claim and our draw of others to serve won’t be what we really want it to be. Push-pulls around people or humanity in general and also around living a healthy lifestyle where there is lots of space to really be with ourselves, our parts and soul aspects, and work on our own healing, are all indications of a need to go back inward to keep feeling that ‘wounded healer’ inside, which could be one or more parts of us grabbing at this role, and use our healing gifts to work with and love THEM first as our number one priority.

It’s a gift to really let ourselves, as healers, collapse into a humble need to continue healing on many levels and doing so can only benefit us and the people we’re called to serve. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.