Aligned And Alive On 5/5

This last week for me feels as if it has been leading up to this coming 5/5 gateway. It started with opening up the intention to feel more into my power, leadership, and truth. The full moon seemed to infuse me with the energy of action and stepping up, stepping out, and stepping into. This gateway feels to offer us an invitation into the next level of our continuing trajectory of our service of love, leadership, and ambassadorship.

That service first starts within from self to self. It is about feeling all the ways in which you relate to yourself, others, and life itself. It is about feeling where you may not feel aligned and alive in all areas of your life. You are perfect just as you ARE, but there are also passions and alignments that are wanting to manifest. This gateway is giving us the reflection of what our 5D/Highest Self truly wants for us.

It wants us to feel this abundant self-love where an inner union is alive and felt deeply when you look in the mirror. It wants us to be authentic and courageous in our truth and action. It wants us to be treated with reverence and respect by others. It wants us to experience intensely magical and sacred sexuality. It wants us to be in a romantic union and intimate community. It wants us to create and commune with higher dimensional beings. It wants us to serve love in whatever way that is aligned with our deepest gifts. There are no limits to what is possible and desirable.

For many, there is a feeling we are not ‘there’ yet, wherever ‘there’ is. There may be a lot that is keeping you from truly embodying that picture. When you begin to get real with your emotional truth, you begin to see where the aliveness has been numbed and/or the alignment displaced. It is visceral and recognizable. The 5/5 gateway is like a big road sign that says “EXIT HERE! ENTER NOW!!”.  To me, that means to get off the old road of what was limiting and veer off into the New where you DO get to have what you want through the inner work.

But there are influences to feel that may keep that state from being a continuous stream of consciousness candy. The fears and other lower vibrational emotional states, held by parts, are there to be heard, felt, and held. They need help to feel that there is something bigger, not just outside but on the inside. These parts are awaiting a bigger version to come and help them digest and collapse.

As this occurs through your inner relationships with your Protector, Punisher, Teenager, Mother, Father, Child, Gatekeeper etc. you then can feel that larger soul aspects that hold more of a soul aspect that is a part of your Metasoul. Through the continued healing of these parts and timelines, you collect their gifts and passions. They integrate into you more and you become so much more than you have ever felt possible. More about parts here:

I am taking this idea with me as I am ready to begin a more outed journey in my leadership through videos and live stream opportunities. I can feel the parts of me that have been a bit buzzed on old fear patterns and it is time to step UP and OUT. I will be covering many topics that are related to ascension and its practical implications, especially in regards to men and the masculine. Women are highly desired to participate!

We are all on a path to alignment, aliveness, and wholeness. Through the SoulFullHeart process, I provide a ‘how’ on the path. Not The Way, but A way. It just happens to be My Way and I want to share it with you and serve it if it feels resonant in your being. Further details to follow. Thank you to those who have been following my writing. It has been a huge gift to me. See you on the Video Side!

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Let Your Inner Tension BE Your Path Through 4D Ascension

Painting by Cristina Bernazzani


by Kalayna Colibri

There is no “wrong way”… there is only the way in front of you and inside of you. There is no way or path that is more correct, more aligned with you than what you are currently walking out. The flow you’re already in wants to bring you to your next places of growth and healing, as is inevitable on this Ascension journey where SO much is going on at all times.

It can be especially hard, as you walk out 4D-ascension specifically, to really let this in. To hold that you and parts of you are OK. 4D holds the container for so much churning, so many storms, so much turmoil inside as buried pain surfaces on heart AND soul levels. It isn’t comfortable and it often expresses as messes, conflicts, contention, feelings of being twisted around inside of you into a really uncomfortable pretzel as your Higher Self continues to try and find its way closer to your being. The Higher Self coming into the body causes reactions that aren’t just physical… the emotional reactions, oh, those intense emotional reactions, are all part and parcel of the bigger picture of what needs to be purged, felt, healed. The parts that surface can really inhabit the intensity of this. Parts represent so much of our old ways of being in the world and with ourselves, which is a result of our wounding and conditioning too from culture, birth family, friends, the education system, the medical system, the “Matrix” in general if you want to call it that. The ‘Matrix’ is a charged word and concept for all of the pushing away from it that is happening… it can be held by parts of you as another representation of their pain and anguish, what they want to push away from and forget about. Yet there is still a Matrix within, a very intricately-wired set of responses to life and above all, to love. This is what is being pressed upon the most when we feel this intense birth canal that IS 4D awakening and movement. And of course this is HARD… this is what has been so normalized, so accepted, yet so painful inside of all of us.

In the 4D scramble for answers, it can be understandably hard to find stillness and calm and a place within that is an undying oasis of infinite love… a place that truly believes in and trusts love. This oasis of self-love and worth is worth working for, is worth burning-up from the inside for… and is the passageway to our more consistent 5D moments and eventually whole lifestyle of 5D consciousness and breathing and being. And, though it can be so hard to feel this when the burning and purging is happening, there is SO much love holding it ALL, always and in ALL ways.

For more support and to gather at an oasis of self-love process and experience of infinite unified love with the world, you are welcome to join us at our Unity Meditation gathering happening virtually over Zoom tomorrow and for many other days and times to follow! Please join us and lean into the web of love that has been created and continues to be re-created by each amazing soul that joins in and leans in too. ❤ Go here for more info:

And, if you want to go deeper, we have 2 process programs that we offer in SoulFullHeart, ranging in price from $33/mo to $222/mo. Check out for more info! ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Current Energies Activating Your “Not You” True You


The You that is Not You is getting lit up. Highlighted. Sparked by deep, layered activations in the recess of your True You. The holes in the Whole are gurgling, pulsing, calling. This can come out in so many significant ways that may be interpreted as a simple “this” or “that”. There is nothing insignificant about anything anymore. Never was. The physical symptoms, the sensitivities, the frustrations, the questions, or the sudden collapse of relationship and livelihood.

It grows deep within you. The connection of your Highest Self back to essence. Not to merge back into forgetfulness, but to experience the Dual Consciousness of I As All and All As I. These seemingly random occurrences are Remembrance pains. When these bubbles make their way to the surface, they off-gas into your waking consciousness causing shifts and movements. They can create havoc if you don’t have a means to hold them in a greater context.

Breathing through them is one way to let the energies find their ground within you. Self-loving acts of rest and pleasure can aid in this. They can be beyond mind and our current available consciousness. The work is being done on a much grander scale. There is also much to be felt within our capable and readied hearts. There are messages coming to us that are meant to shake things up that kick up emotional triggers in our 3D and 4D self. Our 5D nature is making its way into the fold and that creates a tension within.

It is not a press, mind you. But an offering that is hard to ignore. With each step Gaia makes, with each opening and integration the collective experiences, the more we are coming closer to what we have always been and yet have forgotten. In that forgetting there is a pain and a fear. There is a lot for our inner parts and soul aspects to feel and release. For those that have signed up for this, it can be quite a crucible to navigate all the energies coming up. The feeling that what life used to be like is not what is meant to continue.

There is a way to be with all these rumblings. This arising awareness. The pain that it may be causing. It is a process of feeling the parts of you that are these bubbling pockets of Not You (Anymore). It is a guided path of “selves discovery” that is meant to bring you back into Wholeness. Into the space of deep feeling and healing. Into a sacred relationship to yourself as Essence and to another as Union. Traversing a subconscious terrain to integrate and express all that is wanting to come into and out of you.

SoulFullHeart offers this very unique and powerful way of being with all that is arising inside and manifesting outside. It is a portal to a deeper version of You that the universe is conspiring in your favor even in the uncertainty.  If it just doesn’t seem to make any sense and you need to feel a set of heartrails to see where it may take you we offer a free 30-minute session to see if it may be a fit for you and your journey.

You can get more of our energy by participating in this Saturday’s group call on Zoom. It will be led by the co-creators of SoulFullHeart, Raphael and Jelelle Awen. This is a great way to take in more teachings and perspectives as well as a guided meditation and time to share and ask questions. You can get more information by visiting


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

We Are Here With You To Connect And Merge With You: Message From Your Higher Self, Angelic Selves, Star Being Selves, etc.

By Jelelle Awen


We know it is has been hard and IS hard in so many moments. Moments where you want to give up. Moments where you want to ‘go home’. Moments where you are consumed by pain. Moments where your heart feels like it is breaking. Moments where your tears fall and sobs shake your body. Moments where the sky feels so dark and cloudy and overcast with unexpressed pains.

We feel you in this and we see you in this. We are with ALL of our hearts WITH you in this. It has been SO hard for you at times, this journey of forgetting, this traveling road of separation. This road has many curves and dips and turns. We see all these with you, we witness how you crawl at times. How you lay at times. How you feel like giving up at times.

Yet, your heart beats on. Your desire lives on. Your need for love echoes strong inside of you. You do not give up. Your soul carries you forward.

We watch you crawl through glass at times and yet you keep going until the way is clearer. You fight your way ‘back’ to your heart over and over and then, the fight rests and you are just moving forward because it is what you are called to do on you way to remembering.

We know that you often feel like you are alone. How you feel sometimes that no one else understands and no one else GETS what is happening to you and how you are changing from who you used to be. We feel for you and this struggle that you sometimes go through alone. We feel your loneliness and we ache for you in it.

Yet, this we offer, that you are NEVER alone. Your eyes may see no one else. Your heart may feel sad and alone. Your birth family might reject your changes and who you are becoming. Your friends may not come along. Your mate may not come along or get what you are awakening into. But, you are NEVER alone. As we are always with you and we will NEVER leave.

We feel how you sometimes think you are wrong or unworthy. How you feel that the struggle and suffering are what you deserve. And we want to offer to this part of you that this is NOT the truth. You cannot do anything wrong. You cannot BE wrong. We want to offer to this part of you that you ARE worthy of love, you ARE worthy of awakening, you ARE worthy of connection.

We feel how you forget that you ARE love. You forget how you ARE infinite possibilities. You forget that you ARE infinite awareness. This forgetting was part of the process, the experiment, that we all agreed to. We are here watching over you in the forgetfulness and we feel how you ache to remember again. And, it is TIME for you to remember again (if it is time for you remember).

If you are reSOULnating with these words, then we INVITE you to connect with us. Reach inside for us. Find us INSIDE. You don’t have to look outside of yourself. You don’t have to look to others, unless you feel that you want and need to. You don’t have to be at a special place of attainment or have special gifts. You ARE special just as you ARE and we are RIGHT HERE inside of you, ready and so eager to connect with you.

We are the aspects of you that you feel are TOO MUCH or you have forgotten or you have disconnected from. We are the aspects of you that are from and of your SOUL. We are the multidimensional aspects of your BEing. We are your angel selves. We are your star BEing selves. We are your spirit guide selves. We are your Divine selves. We are your other lifetime-Metasoul selves. We are your councils of light selves. We are your star gates inside and your portals inside and your star dust selves inside. We are your crystalline body selves and your crystalline chakras merged into one. We are your merkaba and your inner gridwork connected to Mother Gaia’s new gridwork.

Connect with us and we BECOME you. We merge into you more and more and in that merging the feelings of loneliness, the feelings of pain, the feelings of separation, the feelings of unworthiness, the feelings of despair and suffering, the feelings of wanting to die….ALL of it can and will move with this embracement. Embrace us AS you in a process of connection, deeper and deeper, and so you BECOME this. Have a relationship with us as you need to and for as long as you need to as we benefit from this too. And someday, we will become ONE, more and more, and your sense of you will keep changing and changing until you don’t really have a sense of you anymore as you just ARE. You just ARE the Infinite Love and Possibilities and awareness that you were MEANT TO BE in human form.

We love YOU and we wait right here for you, inside you. Come and get us with an open heart and we will become one again. And so, it IS……

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc

The Exploration Into Conscious Duality And The NEW Sacred Human

By Jelelle Awen


Waves of PURE love are washing down on us right now from Divine Source, from the closest degrees of split off from the Divine, taking the form of angels and spirit guides and star being selves. All of these forms are a reflection and aspect of YOU, embracing them as such WHILE having a relationship with them is ‘conscious duality.’ When the frequencies of Archangel Metatron come through I can feel him as a separate energy from me, a distinctive frequency that is not like mine. Yet, also, I can feel that he IS me, he IS an aspect of me, and his energy IS me too. Both are true in the same moment. This is conscious duality as it invites us not to be fused to the dualistic experience and the illusion of separation WHILE it invites us to be in relationship WITH other..

The mind cannot understand conscious duality; only the healing heart and remembering soul can EMBODY it more and more as the ties to a 3D conditioned life are let go and the soul consciousness floods your Being more and more. Duality has been made bad in spirituality, yet it has been a sacred and Divinely guided experiment that we all chose to engage with. It has taken us as a species in some very interesting and growthful directions, experiences, and expressions. The dance between light and dark; masculine and feminine; love and fear….the contrasts and edges bring up such interesting angles in our mirrors for us to SEE and experience ourselves that couldn’t any other way.

Unconscious duality has expressed itself mostly in clashes that lead to wars, violence, greed, sexism, poverty, and so many other things that we all know and feel with sadness in our hearts. Even THIS unconscious duality in expression has been an important phase in our evolution, necessary in our growth, necessary in our transmutation into sacred humanity. It is from this ground of so much fear and pain that the new buds of our sacred humanity are born and rise. The ground has been fertilized by all of our experiences, our trials and tribulations, our struggles and challenges. And also it has been fertilized by our romances, our emotions and our joys, our desires and our successes. And, above all, by the love that we ARE.

Moving out of unconscious duality into conscious duality has been a collective awakening….some souls responding more deeply and consciously than others. Yet, it is a collective movement that we can call ‘ascension’. Gaia herself as a planetary consciousness is choosing to move into this new ground and inviting us to come with her. Conscious duality invites us into relationship with other in a ground for which ALL are respected and loved, their sovereignty seen and embraced. This still leaves room for differences, for the edges that make life interesting when they touch and rub. Yet nonduality and the frequencies of no-thing-ness, All That Is, Infinite Love and Stillness….these frequencies HOLD the exploration of these conscious and loving relationships. These frequencies create a sense of reverence, non-attachment, appreciation, gratitude, and unity.

This is new, this conscious duality exploration, and it is about holding the exploration not with answers but with questions and desires for how it could be. My star being selves and family don’t KNOW what conscious duality actually is as it something COMPLETELY NEW for them and for us. It is a merging of their consciousness of one mind, androgyny, merged experience with our consciousness of separate mind consciousness, feminine and masculine expression. The result of this merging is what those of us who are called to be wayshowers have experienced in more and more moments in our own lives.

I am very excited about conscious duality, it feels like a huge gift to us from Divine Source. It acknowledges our humanity and its beauty, especially the goodnesses of the duality dance and even the goodnesses of the denser frequency experience that Gaia offers us. The star beings seem to be very excited about conscious duality too because THEY get to grow and learn from it. They want to be in equality with us, to learn from us, to receive the best from us and us from them. It is not about them being better (as SO many channelers seem to offer and come from) but rather about us claiming and embodying our sacred humanity WITH them. With unhealed unworthiness and congested ego, it can be difficult to let in how star beings and even archangels desire this equality.

Claiming our sacred humanity and conscious duality grows from within each of us. As we go within and re-connect, re-align, remember, re-union with aspects of our soul consciousness, then so we embody more and more a merged consciousness of individual self with our higher self and star being self frequencies. Going within and inviting in these aspects while healing the aspects that are in pain and in struggle and in subconscious shadow. We offer a path for navigating this ground WITH you through our SoulFullHeart way of life path and process.

This is SUCH an exciting phase of the human experiment and we CHOSE to be here, you and I, together to explore this NEW ground of consciousness evolution. It can be messy, it can be sticky, it can be and IS hard….and yet, we are birthing something BRAND NEW and always, the challenges of doing this are SO WORTH IT for what is produced from it. In very simple terms, we are birthing LOVE in human expression from the ground of what we have learned and grown into. ALL that we have experienced is greatly honored, none of it made bad or wrong, just honored and watered as Divine Source beams at us with more and more waves of love.

Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more

Embodiment of the Multidimensional Self and 5D Reality Experience Of Experience

By Jelelle Awen
I am moving from a ‘me’ to a ‘we’, a more merged consciousness, a more multidimensional consciousness. A consciousness that is not in a particular time but is responding from ALL times and many different soul aspects AT ONCE. I am experiencing more moments where there is no personality there or orientation to previous personality that I have ‘known’ or can be ‘known’. “Jelelle” is really then a waveform sound that others can use to delineate the physical me that shows up in front of them or what they experience as my essence. I let go of my birth name awhile ago so there is no longer much association with names as an identity.
I am experiencing more and more moments where my soul essence is responding in the NOW with love and NO reactivity. Most of my moments are like this now in the now. There is no longer pain or suffering or being triggered by others, although I am open to this if it comes up. This is not unexpected as it is what I have been consciously awakening and enlightening toward for many years. The subpersonality or parts differentiation process that I have very consciously and very diligently engaged with has brought me to this ‘place’ more and more with so many layers of persona being integrated and dissolved away essentially.
For many years, I was tracking my reactivity with much focus, connecting my reactions to whatever part or aspect that I was connecting with at the time, feeling deeply whatever there was to feel. This heightened sense of self consciousness and awareness is what allowed me to sort and experience what was ME in my soul essence and what was ME in conditioned personality. What had been formed in response to conditioning versus what WAS me as a soul or higher self. The energy that these aspects of me held that anchored me to the past, to past woundings and hurts, to past formations of personality and reactivity and pain are essentially GONE now.
In place of this energy anchored to the past is now space for my multidimensional soul frequencies, galactic frequencies, to come in from the stars and from other lifetimes. With this multidimensionality comes the feelings that all of my experiences are ‘new’ as seen through the eyes and felt through the hearts of these soul aspects that are in much higher vibrational frequencies than what we feel here on Gaia. Yet, also, these aspects are VERY interested in what we experience as duality here, the edges that rub, the tastes, the sounds, the pleasures of the body, especially as felt through a healing heart and enlightened emotional body. These aspects of me are ‘dropping in’ now as there is more space in me for them. They are enjoying very much what they are experiencing through me and me through them. We are merging together and it is blissful, magical, and a feeling of deep RE-union with my soul. And, it is still very grounded to Gaia and inside of my body, not floaty at all, based in the heart.
This is challenging to write about honestly as the linear language of one word after another doesn’t work well to describe and transmit the energy of this kind of multidimensional experience of experience. To exchange this energy in voice and in person is much better, so you can feel it for yourself what it is that I am embodying and what you may feel drawn to embody. I offer spaces for this to happen if you desire for it to and it is what is next for you; through sessions, through our group calls, soon through in person immersion visits with us here in Puerto Vallarta, and a retreat later this year. Visit for more information. We want to offer spaces for you to experience this experience of multidimensional experience, we can call it 5D that is fine….spaces for you to experience it and remember, not just in writing but in energy exchange.
I feel it is where we are ‘headed’ as a species, to this more merged consciousness beyond personality where we are still an individual soul spark of consciousness. We are then both experiencing the non-dual nature of life AND the dualistic nature in the same moment. We have separated them out as that is what we tend to do from our overly dualistic focus place. Yet, to me and for me, they merge and the non-dual nature of our reality and of Divine Source HOLDS all experience of experience, including the dualistic frequencies.
It feels important to say that I did not open out or awaken or remember to this place of consciousness through bypassing my emotions or transcending them. I went into them and therefore through them. I am discovering (as are my beloveds on this path too) that there are more efficient ways to be in this, a sort of quantum healing way to be with the pain body, and more processes and methods are being offered to us in SoulFullHeart to share with you in the future. I have happily been a bush whacker of sorts, clearing the weeds and one of the paths. One of the methods is by being in immersion with us here, in our daily lives, in Puerto Vallarta, for as long as fits in your lifestyle. To be around this enlightened consciousness is to feel how it lives in you already and IS you already and it is just a process of remembering.
There IS an experience of experience beyond personality, beyond reactivity, beyond suffering, beyond pain, beyond negativity, beyond duality and WITH duality at the same time. I offer this to you as a remembrance that lives in you already and is ‘spring-loaded’ to BECOME you again. This is not an EASY path though as there is SO MUCH to unremember, so much to let go of, so much to say ‘NO’ to in the personality-based life you have created as you say ‘YES’ to your soul essence in expression. In my experience, these changes and letting go process are negotiable and always happen at a rate and pace that you can bear.
I cannot sell you on this process nor do I want to. Your higher self feels if it is your moment to claim it and if you are meant to walk it out and remember. I can offer you, with integrity, that this IS possible, what you dream is possible in terms of HOW you experience your life, yet, it is a continual, moment by moment choice of what IS your essence and to let go of what is NOT.
I feel a reaching out to you from beyond the personality, to your higher self, and feel us embracing together and remembering each other, seeing each other beyond the personality and name and identity….feeling each others as SOULS. I have felt many of you ‘in my field’ and even had some higher self conversations with some of you who wanted them. I am ready if you are ready. I am here if you are here as are my beloveds too. Where do you want to go together? The soul is limitless and the explorations profoundly unlimited too. Love is limitless and Infinite and wants you to remember that you are THIS too.
Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.