2018 Energies Invite Discernment, Reflections On Your Healing Path

by Kalayna Colibri

discernment_1420x690_acf_cropped

There are many understandable qualms and queries that a wide array of souls have about letting in ‘new’ teachings and perspectives. There’s a way that in a sense, many of us have said ‘yes’ to being a part of abusive groups and leaders – political, spiritual, etc. Perhaps that’s why resonance can be a scary thing for parts and Metasoul Aspects of us, who have been ‘burned’ before, who have walked out (and may still be walking out) abusive relationships on many levels with those who they were once convinced truly loved and accepted them ‘unconditionally’ – which is perhaps one of the biggest hooks of them all and speaks to so much of our collective and personal wounding…

Today, after doing some research into different spiritual leaders and groups, I feel a collective pain and it feels like it pierces and echoes quite strongly. It’s a sense of some heavy influence and infiltration (which was signed-up for and allowed in for good and necessary reasons) from what can be called ‘Archonic’ energies and whispers, which really in a way just feels like the whispers of heavily unowned or outright disowned shadow. To find ourselves in abusive relationships on any blatant or subtle levels reflects an abuse which perpetuates inside of us and the suppression of our own shadows; what has been held in the dark and not only what could be considered ‘dark’ or low vibration. Taking this in as a piece for collective healing is important, yet the more important and power-filled choice is to take it back inward, to find our personal contribution to it, starting from us to us.

The degree to which there is denial that ALL, even the most precious, beloved and highly regarded gurus of our time and beyond also have ‘shadow’ to work and aren’t perfect or above being the human they signed up to be in their life and timeline, is the degree to which it is often suppressed and disregarded within too. We want to blame the others who fall from grace, yet so often there are parts of us, ESPECIALLY Metasoul Aspects of us, that have experienced this themselves in their own timelines and are afraid to face the shadow within that matched and made OK the unowned shadow in the other in THIS timeline.

That might be a lot to digest, yet it feels of great importance if we are truly to ‘clean house’ in this new ‘year’ called ‘2018’, which, it feels like, IS the invitation when it comes to Disclosure’s current unfolding that cannot be avoided personally as it happens globally.

To make the choice to lean into a new offering, such as what we talk about and share in SoulFullHeart, likely brings up quite a bit for some of you who feel resonance and yet feel a need to balk and take it this work in in small doses. This is understandable and actually feels necessary too. There is a need now to truly discern where a teacher, author, guru, speaker, etc is coming from and to vibe-in with their particular views of love and spirituality, to see if they truly work for you at this time. There is an enormous capacity in all of us to let in and lean in and there is a vast amount of distrust that comes with that too, embodied in a part of you that we call the Inner Protector and also the Gatekeeper. Bless this part of each of us for the filtering, the necessary judgments and push-aways, the incredible job they have done and had to do. To be truly led by your deepest heart into healing paths that will not offer abuse but instead continually give you back to you as you find the power of your naked heart and soul again without need of a Protector, is perhaps one of the most profound gifts coming to you this year and beyond and it is definitely my own wish for ALL of us as we continue arising and rearising into our Sacred Humanity, that is powerful, soulful, and above all heartful. ❤

If you wish to feel more into SoulFullHeart, perhaps with your Inner Protector/Gatekeeper held consciously in your heart while doing so, you can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess to learn and feel more about what we offer and how we offer it, and ready much about who we are as well in other parts of our website and on our blog. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Admitting Your Apathy To Find Your Compassion

silhouette_at_sunset-sad.117120037_std

I couldn’t blame myself or part of me for not caring anymore. So many years of bullshit and suddenly realizing how much of that I shoveled on myself, let alone on my relationships with others. I had years of trying to stand out from my birth family, declaring myself to be the “black sheep”, which is true in many ways but was a declaration that led to much entitlement around what I should and should not have to experience and be vulnerable around in my life. I did the same with virtually all of the people around me, family or no, setting myself apart from everyone, somehow and someway.

My daemon, out of painful, held deep disdain towards humanity made sure of this. He wanted me to be driven towards a fame trajectory. It was rooted in the performing arts for a time, but was also about becoming a spiritual guru of some sort. It was my dream (or part of me’s dream) for many years to become an author and speaker, engaging audiences from a stage and maybe even reading them out as a psychic/medium. The invulnerability of the desire I held to do and be this is only coming to light now. The deep-seated apathy underneath it all is being revealed, inch by inch. Luckily my daemon, Gideon, is willing to be open and vulnerable in sharing with me his experience with this, wanting to heal and move it, which is big for an awakening Daemon.

Now when I feel my old desire to be an important figure in the “self-help” industry, I am feeling with Gideon, in real time, some of the layers he detects are really at play in a business climate that is supposed to be about “love and light”. While there is genuine work being offered out there that isn’t all about transcending your pain, much of it still is. This is what keeps people coming back for more. They get hooked like a child on sugar. If you don’t keep going back to these dealers and spending money on books, seminars, etc, you find yourself back in the same ditch you started in. This happened to me.

I recall going to the I Can Do It! Conference presented by HayHouse year after year for about 4 years in Toronto, Ontario. While there were and are some genuine hearts and minds who write and speak there, I can feel how I was caught up in “seeking” and not ready to be found. I wanted re-frames and a more positive spin on what I was facing and actually not really feeling my way through in my life, especially around romance and discovering my own psychic gifts. In other words, it became medication I had to keep renewing my prescription for. Part of me wanted to be told, “you’re okay!” when she really didn’t feel that way. I call this part “Katie” – my main way of interfacing with the world until very recently.

My daemon at the time was happy to keep bringing her more messages of, “you’re okay, you’ll get through this and you will be one of those authors on that stage someday. You’ll have found your soul family and you will never have to have the normal human life that so many around you have resigned themselves to. You’ll finally be seen and loved”. These words were like honey and they kept me fed for many years. But…how can holding a goal about being “seen and loved” still be about being in genuine service to others? It doesn’t feel like it can because then it’s ultimately about you. This isn’t true compassion and honestly it isn’t hard to feel how many healers on stages care more about being seen than they do about helping people, though they do offer some moving and helpful experiences to others at times. Many of them, if you read their bios, had very painful lives prior to finding their “gifts”. Pain they were never felt in and therefore couldn’t move through. Pain their daemons use as an excuse to keep taking over their lives and avoiding the real work of healing yourself so you can actually serve and heal the world in a real way…which isn’t necessarily a famous or glamorous way, either.

I have recently been feeling where Gideon holds apathy about my/his own healing, let alone anyone else’s. Apathy towards humanity and fully inhabiting life as a sacred human. Beneath the apathy is real, heartfelt care that isn’t pretty or glamorous but is beautiful and emerging all the same. Kind of like a newborn baby covered in gook. At least that’s the image I’m being offered in the moment. Like that newborn baby, there is real pain and tears that come with that whole package. It’s all being held in my personal connection with the Divine and with my SoulFullHeart facilitators supporting me. I can feel the layers I must heal through in order to continue letting in real love from myself to myself primarily.

If I don’t start there, there is no overflow of love to offer others. This is the real work they don’t tell you about at most conferences and seminars. What I feel to leave you with, whether you identify as a healer or seeker or whatever label, is that it’s important to find your apathy. You don’t need to make it “bad”, but feel where it comes from and why it’s there. Nothing feels more toxic, degrading or destructive than offering false care to yourself and others, no matter how many books you sell. You and I can’t help the world if we don’t face this truth and, in fact, we will only create new problems and perpetuate current ones if we don’t.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.