The problem with modern spirituality is there are too few people open to truly being students and too few teachers self qualified to authentically serve them.
I spent many years as a student, dedicated and fully committed to one teacher and teaching. I didn’t realize at the time how unusual this was. They were aspects of my teacher and that relationship that ended up being off and based in shadow, just like any committed relationship has healthy and unhealthy aspects. But if I hadn’t committed myself to that teacher, I simply would not be who I am now, in the nourishing relationship that I am, and serving others through SoulFullHeart.
I’ve been offering my way of life and myself as a teacher and healer for the last few years and I’ve met many people who claimed to be ‘seekers’ along the way, initially drawn to what I was offering. Whenever someone would claim to be a ‘seeker’, I wanted to ask them, “You are a seeker? So, when will you let yourself be found?” It seemed that these seekers were deeply afraid of committing to just one thing, just one teacher and teaching. They wanted to float around and sample off the buffet bar of spiritual offerings. They wanted to read books (especially ‘best selling’ ones) or attend yearly seminars and retreats. And they expected that this minimal activity would actually bring them the rewards of bliss, joy, serenity and deep love that they felt entitled to receive. Instead of trusting their intuition that brought me to them as a teacher, they wanted someone else to legitimatize a teacher for them (a publishing company, Oprah Winfrey, Louise Hay, etc.) Popularity does not qualify a teacher and might actually disqualify a teacher, but that’s for another blog entry.
Many modern seekers seem to have a short attention span and are looking for the next shiny object to latch onto. They are a product of a modern world where facebook “likes” mean more than meaningful relationships; where spiritual experiences are expected not revered; and where negative emotions have been villianized and positive emotions over idealized. They don’t want to actually work at transformation or to feel anything negative as a crucial aspect of their growth process, so part of them projects them into an idealized place where they can claim to feel bliss and love for everyone all of the time without actually doing the work that would awaken them to a state where this might be possible.
My truth is that this is not what we are meant to experience as sacred human children of the Divine. The Divine wants to experience Itself through us, both in male and female form, and why would it only want to experience the light and loving expressions of Itself? Pretty boring, wouldn’t you say? It is both the light and dark, the shadow and the love that interest the Divine. The textures, the depths, the struggles and the triumphs, the ebbs and flows, the ups and downs. A student of the Divine is a student of life in all its areas of expression and all its highs and lows. And as you become a true student of the Divine and of an authentic teacher of the Divine, then you arise into your sacred human nature which is an arising and unknown wonder that can respond to the ups and downs with an open heart. You experience deep connection with the Divine that is both challenging and comforting; catalytic and solid; full of contrasts and paradoxes and fundamentally conditional on you continuing to heal yourself.
I am a teacher because I have been a student and I continue to be a student of the Divine and will for the rest of my lifetimes. I am a teacher who deeply wants to draw true students, students who will wrap around what I have to teach and still retain their centers. Students who will surrender to learning and not knowing and, at the same time, hold that they are also meant to be teachers someday. Students who will accept the challenge, do the work, and commit to me, the Divine, and themselves. Students who will own if they feel resistance to being students and why.
Here are some more distinctions about a student versus a seeker for you to feel into:
A seeker thinks that a paradigm shift is all that is needed; a student recognizes that it is just the beginning.
A seeker is afraid of commitment; a student lets themselves be claimed.
A student wraps around a teacher while remaining in their own center; a seeker gives complete devotion to a teacher while remaining without a center.
A student allows ALL areas of their life to offer sacred experience; a seeker makes certain areas of their life more sacred than others.
A student wants to filter experience through what they don’t know; A seeker wants to filter experience through what they know.
A student admits they do not know and do know at the same time; a seeker attaches to what they know and what they think others know.
A student draws a teacher who reflects to them their own bigness, not just the teacher’s bigness.
A student accepts the light and the dark; a seeker seeks for the light while suppressing the dark.
A student feels the inner teacher inside of themselves; the seeker denies the inner teacher inside of themselves.
A student accepts that whatever they experience in the moment is the reward; the seeker justifies what they experience in the moment to receive a reward in the future.
A student is destined to become a teacher; a seeker is destined to become unfulfilled.
A student gets that being a student is the hardest but most natural thing. A seeker believes that being a seeker is easy and is supposed to be.
A student is open to their feelings as being an aspect of Divine expression; a seeker is open only to feelings that they feel as ‘positive’ or ‘serene’ as Divine expression.
A student is asking ‘who am I?’ and answering ‘I am that’ at the same time.
A student humbly understands that they are entitled to nothing but are worth having what most deeply serves them; A seeker feels entitled to manifest everything that they want yet don’t really believe they deserve it.
A student surrenders; a seeker submits.
A student is both investing and divesting; a seeker is investing looking for a return.
A student is patient, understanding it takes many lifetimes to arise and unfold and all experiences bring growth. A seeker is eager and impatient, feeling that everything they want should be given to them now and that only positive experiences are valuable.
When will you stop seeking and let yourself be found?
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Who is appearing as a teacher in your life that you are resisting leaning into? If you are reading these words right now, perhaps it’s SoulFullHeart.
Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.