Even when surrounded by others there may be a feeling that you are not really there. Not totally present to what is really being said or to the minutia of the day. It can feel like you are in another person’s body, in someone else’s life. All that made sense at one point fails to make much sense anymore. New information, new feelings, new awarenesses are arising. They are coming to the surface by drip or by flood. Though they are not really new….you are just beginning to remember the nature of your BEing.
As you have walked through your conditioned world, the one you subscribed to either fully or partially, you created a world of relationship that matched that conditioning. But as this arising awareness has begun to fill your days there is this visceral chasm that begins to be felt between you and those around you. You may feel like an island unto yourself. This is where you feel the self, or part, that was created to exist in that past environment. Like a special suit that is needed to walk on a distant planet.
This can be hard on the YOU that is in that suit, looking behind those eyes. Feeling behind those words. A tiredness may be coming through. An awareness that you feel like a there is a charade going on. Or you keep bringing your truth only to find it falling short of resonance or curiosity. Where do you get a reflection of all that is moving inside? There is a part of you that may be okay with being introverted. Okay with just being alone. That may be better than all the acting. All the interfacing in a rear view mirror.
It important to feel that this YOU is not alone. There are many that are in similar circumstances and situations. The words may be different but the story is the same. There is a world of resonance INside of you when you find the time and desire to explore. There are a family and community of parts of you awaiting your Higher Heart to come and take them home there. An abundance of resonance that lies in the stars and in the heavens.
This is a reminder from all the guides, ancestors, animal spirits, light beings, and angels that surround us at any given moment. It is also a reminder from one human heart to yours. The journey of awakening is the journey of connecting…one part, one heart, one soul at a time.
Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.
One of the main characteristics of a soldier or ‘warrior’ is the need for a facade. A face that gets put on to tell the world that you’re ‘confident’, ‘righteous’, ‘in it to win it’, even while there are feelings being stuffed down of unworthiness, shame, sadness, fear. This is the way the warrior likes to lead, without vulnerability, without being willing to feel his/her impact, and often with an over-focus on the self that becomes out of balance quickly in many moments. This part or face can sometimes turn this around too, claiming that it is acting out or energizing ‘on behalf of humanity’, for example, yet to feel a need to ‘fight’ is still about the self and not about a truly compassionate response towards others.
There’s endless ‘evidence’ available, especially as you move into and through lower 4D consciousness, that the world needs you to gather yourself up and ‘go to battle’ for something or someone, somewhere somehow. This especially seems true for Indigo souls, like myself, who in most cases have come into this life with a strong projection of life being an endless battleground of structures to dismantle and truths to uncover. This projection is complicated though… to truly feel it takes layers, challenging mirrors, process, and a willingness to look inward. This process still unfolds for me to this day, but so much of it has moved, even recently, because of going inward, being with the parts and Metasoul Aspects still living in battlegrounds – from the ‘war scenes’ of birth family dynamics to the other-timeline realities bleeding through of women’s suffrage, the fall of Atlantis, and a variety of other scenes of war and protest and injustice.
In the end, injustices being suffered in this world cannot be fought on behalf of, not with a sustainable and deep healing of them to be possible, for then we are not templating a new way to BE, starting within, and that is what this world most needs and is in the process of seeing/feeling more deeply.
There is a righteous inner suffering ground within the ‘warrior’… a push-away to love in its essence and to the love that you are in your essence. Frustration loops of ‘nobody is listening’; ‘nobody sees/hears/feels/understands me’, ‘I’m right and yet others keep fighting with me!’ reverberate inside, justified by parts of you that have become very good at finding evidence to support these loops. The place of deeper healing and movement around these frustrations is not one of the world suddenly improving or ‘getting better’ or letting you in in a way it hasn’t before, but a courageous gaze inward, to see yourself, to feel your parts and Metasoul Aspects, to be with the ‘need’ for the frustrations and battles and feel what’s underneath these frequencies and thoughts that only in the end breed more battles, more need to be ‘right’, and no room to care about how this impacts the world around you, your relationships, and YOU too.
I’m really feeling strongly like there has been a fortified veil of illusion that looks a lot like a curtain with the motif of war printed on it. This veil has been placed, WITH your soul’s CHOICE of walking out this projection, over all relationships to people, Gaia, the Universe, and yourself. This veil or curtain feels like it has holes in it though… holes that have come from it simply wearing down because of the waves of love coming in that have penetrated it, even in fleeting moments.
Love wants to help you dissolve this curtain, piece by piece, as you continue your process of feeling the parts and Metasoul Aspects that are attached to it being there and that have been used to this overlay being the only way they have been able to relate with the world. The dissolution of this overlay cannot happen without your Inner Protector being on board with it though, and probably your Gatekeeper too. They have probably both been working very hard to keep it hanging there because they have felt like the ‘warrior’ facade has been much more necessary and safe than the vulnerability that even they feel. You can read more about these very important and powerful parts of you, here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts and soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers
Ultimately, it’s all about love… and a journey to remembering that love doesn’t need to be ‘fought for/on behalf of’. The journeys of everyone are divergent, messy, different, SACRED. The journey into, through, and beyond 3D, 4D, even 5D has been and continues to be challenging and growthful. If you can find yourself getting to a place within yourself where the need to conflict without care starts to shift into a new realization that, thankfully, not everything needs defending and not everything is about you or parts of you, then you can and will find your truest sense of empathy and compassion — an ever-purifying pool of self love that you can pour from into your connections with others and service of love calling.
You will find your deepest, most vulnerable reality, and the purest heart of your being that has always been there, even in the most ‘war-torn’ moments of your life and Metasoul experience… that is a very refreshing place to live, love and serve from!
Much love! ❤
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I offer space-holding through Bridging Sessions for young women around and under the age of 35… they are 90min long and are a $55 USD min. donation to book. Please feel free to be in touch with me on Facebook or through our email address: soulfullhearts@gmail.com if you feel ready for this space, the mirrors that you most want/need to look into, and the illumination of your next steps on your healing and Ascension process. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session for more info.
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week! Go here to read it!
This week’s Museletter features an offering from Kalayna Colibri. This article is one that she wrote with her Sirian-Lyran galactic aspect, Ineerah. It is an invitation to feel the symbiosis we are all a part of as sacred humans arising in this Universe we live in, offering that our Ascension is purposeful for the Whole, not just our own species:
“There is much to feel for each of you, much left to discover about yourself as you also discover the Whole you are part of. You get to have both, the individual you are and the Whole, and one serves the other in another expression of symbiosis. We, your Sirian-Lyran aspects, are here to assist you in this passageway which will be an intense experience for many of you. The intensity depends on the need to feel deeper still, what there is to heal, what there is to awaken to as your past-present-future timelines collide and in some cases, clash. If you find yourself in a mess, it is a sacred mess. We are here if you need guidance and we look forward to connecting with you as you walk through this. We cannot walk through it for you, as we have already done that ourselves, but we can offer you pictures and senses of the goodness that is coming as you courageously continue your ascent on all levels of your being.”
There were two live stream Q & A’s held this week, one by Raphael and Jelelle Awen and the other by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman. Both took place to offer a digestion space for the impact of the energies coming in from this lunar eclipse and the pending Lion’s Gate portal. The recordings of both of these live streams are available for you to take in.
Many new writings and audio blogs are here for you this week from Gabriel, Kalayna, Raphael, Jelelle, and Raianna Shai too. They feature digestions of the current energy influxes, digestions of the inner processes you may find yourself walking out, and the blessings that come from choosing love over fear and bigness over smallness.
You’ll find information about our five-day retreat happening here in beautiful, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in November, 2018. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events
We all offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations
Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters
clings to the self-made ceiling of wanton leadership like ivy.
A stinging, ringing voice that says,
“you’ll never do enough”.
The panic of the beating heartbeat inside the soul-beat of consciousness,
the fears of parts, aspects, voices,
sing the words of what they really want
yet with verses of “that, I’ll never have”.
A thousand empty self-promises
somehow grip motivation’s doorway saying,
“you’ll never have enough”.
Yet,
sweet fruit of the womb of the Divine,
you’re not here to only be this
or be what you’ve been told you are…
what parts of you are convinced you can only ever be or not be.
You’re here,
Divine son and daughter,
to remember the ceiling was claimed on purpose
and the closed doorways are held shut
by the choice of avoidance
and the lens of lack.
Love bursts through and in, in any moment that it can,
reaching a hand to you that says,
“sweet beloved, you ARE enough”…
and the reactions that come from this awakening,
felt in tremors of the physical, the emotional, the spiritual,
are the shudders of a heart learning to let in
REAL love,
once and ever… again.
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Ah, I’m so excited to be doing my first solo live stream on my Facebook feed tomorrow at 3pm CDT!
I hope you will join your heart and soul with mine as I share about my current process working with my Inner Masculine and offer some ways to be in this process yourself, especially if you are a woman, based on what I’m learning and experiencing. Of course, men are welcome to come too and I’m sure the women would actually LOVE to feel you there with us! So much of this could absolutely apply to you and your own explorations of your masculinity as well.
The wounded masculine wants to be transmuted… it wants to ascend with us and be loved. It is an energy that has been in the forefront for SO long, yet in any moment we have the opportunity to go within and feel our own contribution to this collective energy. It’s another opportunity to love ourselves, ultimately, and LOVE our conditioning, which IS the way to transmute it for good! Also, even as women, we do need our Inner Masculine energies to really collaborate with us as we lead what we’re meant to lead and find our Queen-ness in response to life and to a Sacred Union mate too.
It’s in my heart to hold this as an opportunity for a Q & A experience for everyone and to share transparently about what I’m feeling within myself, so bring along your questions, comments and personal experiences and let’s talk for a bit.
The live stream will be on held on my Facebook feed only: facebook.com/kalaynacolibri
If you cannot make it tomorrow, you can catch the recording which I will be publishing Youtube and then here on the blog as well.
Much love!
Kalayna
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Many years ago… I could not have told you that ‘becoming more feminine’ was my goal or intention. I grew up with an older sister who rebelled against femininity and wanted to be like her. I wanted to be friends with the guys that weren’t attracted to me, so at least I could have some way to be close to them regardless, to experience a connection with the opposite gender. I say ‘I’ here because before I was aware that I had ‘parts’ of me running the show of my life, ‘I’ was all ‘I’ had as a reference point for the dramas and desires and pain.
When I was very little, however, I wanted only to wear dresses. I liked big frilly ones with flowers. I liked my pretty shoes and white tights. I especially loved going to ballet class as a 5-year-old and being able to wear the pink skirt that represented my level over top of my leotard. I loved being called a ‘lady’ and would have fantasies about being in ‘princess training’. This was all before messaging of ‘being a girl means you’re weak’ or ‘incapable’ started to leak in and take over. This was before parts of me started to form as a casing, an ever-hardening shell over my natural sensitivity and blooming pre-womanhood. The dresses got put away. The tights could no longer be worn without holes being made in them almost immediately – a symbol, I’m realizing, of my young torn-ness between gender expressions. Skirts didn’t fit or feel right either, and I felt very self-conscious in them. Something was shifting out of wanting to be a girl to wanting to be related to, to be made friends with, to be able to somehow find comfortability in any social situation even if that meant being more like a ‘boy’ in some ways. I stopped feeling ‘pretty’ when I was quite young and thus I stopped trying to be, at least until high school.
I remember all of this in this very moment, especially as I feel a part of me that is my Inner Masculine. I feel how this is a story from him about how he came to be and how he began to form as an Inner Patriarch, coaching and teaching my other parts how to become more masculine in order to survive if not thrive in this world of 3D. I feel the tears of my suppressed, albeit quite young aspect of my Inner Feminine, who it feels like has some pain coming up in response to this… these feelings of being ‘girly’, which was more in my true nature, being deemed ‘not good enough’ so early in my life.
I share this story today because it feels like the story that belongs to so many of us… a story of genuine self-expression, of authentic sensitivity. Unless and until we can begin to feel the parts of us that have (had to) come up in response to life and more often than not, bury or try to dismiss what is actually TRUE about us, it doesn’t really feel possible to feel the layers here and to get to exactly what has been buried for so many ‘years’.
I feel like this extends far beyond authentic gender expression, so much as just what is authentically in our hearts. I feel the richness of a genuine experience of what the sacred masculine and feminine ARE, that can only really be experienced from within, not from other people’s ideas of what it is or is not… in either case when it comes to the masculine and the feminine, we are having to re-learn so much and deeply feel much more.
We have the courage to venture deeper into our own healing, ever-discovering more and more of what has been suppressed within our most inner caverns of what has always wanted to show us the most authentic us we have been waiting and working to BE… and it’s up to us when and if we are ready to lead him/her/them out of the shadows and into the light where they can breathe and play and be themselves again… and this time, without anyone telling them they have to stop being who and what they truly are. ❤
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
At any time, you get to push the ‘reset’ button. You get to start again. You get to wake up in the morning and realize that life can become new, can arise for you anew. That the people in your life can too. And that there are many choice points along the way that make this come alive and help YOU come alive again, too.
The only thing that seems to keep us from doing this, letting this in, is what we have still to feel inside of ourselves that really doesn’t trust these choices or see the possibilities in our daily reality. Parts of us that want a quick-fix, get frustrated when everything they’ve tried hasn’t worked or seemed to work (or at least not with any staying power), and then the bottom falls out of our motivation to be IN life… to be a vital part of each relationship we have, especially to ourselves. Or, parts of us get frustrated with simply not finding the solution, not feeling genuinely guided or templated for, not feeling comfortable to be in this skin we’ve chosen as a vessel for our 3D come 4D experience here on Gaia. And THEN the bottom falls out and we are left with quite a bit of inner flatness and apathy.
We get to choose. We get to choose to do and be something different, to have a new approach, to try a new way, a new lens too. We get to do all of this and perhaps that is the very essence of free will. We also get to choose NOT to choose, which is still very much a choice. We can opt-in to our inner power and do the work we need to within, or we can let parts of us continue to opt-out of this invitation to heal and continue on in the same patterns we and they have been used to.
We get to decide our approach to life and to healing. What we don’t really get to choose is how and why our pain surfaces, as this is a collaboration with life and the Divine that we cannot shake off, no matter how hard parts of us may work to keep activity and positivity in place. We get to choose our healing paths and whether or not we fully show up for whatever place we’re at in our lives. We get to lead or follow as much as we want to, as much as parts of us want to… for in the beginning of feeling your parts, you begin to realize how much of your life has actually been a result of the choices parts of you have made, and not necessarily choices the most authentic and raw YOU would make.
Whatever the array of choices are that you make in one day let alone one lifetime, the deepest choices are often the ones that help us look, feel, notice, and heal. These are the choices that don’t ever flatten us out but bring us closer to ourselves and the lives we have truly, most deeply been wanting to live and LOVE. To feel where and how these choices show up for you and within you today feels like the most important revelation you could take in and the biggest, most magical experience you could ever have. ❤
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
“Leave your heart above your head and your eyes wide open.”- Zack Brown Band
These are words form a country band that I used to listen to in my ‘past’ life. Or the life a part of me lived years ago. These words popped into my head as I was feeling into mindfulness with my guide Aris, who has a mix of greek philosopher and buddhist monk with angelic wings. The practice of mindfulness was a part of my spiritual journey earlier in my life that lead me to become aware of what was clearly an emotional disillusionment with my life at that time.
I had built a life on the foundations of what was reasonable and sensible for the typical citizen. A good career with a finger on the political pulse of the times. I was a well-loved member of a family and had close relationships to fill my days. But undergirding it all was a depression and a frustration. A need for something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on other than I was ‘off-center” and misaligned in my passion and purpose.
This awareness led me to seek some form of help to change the course of what I was feeling but they were all mainly temporary band-aids. I could feel that there was something else I wanted access to inside myself. What was at the root of this underground well of heaviness?
The mindfulness practice turned into ‘heartfulness’ practice when I began this journey with teh SoulFullHeart process. It led me to a fuller awareness of what was occurring in my emotional body through a multi-lensed frame of parts. This new mindfulness set in motion a slide into E-motion. I had so much backed up feeling that I had almost forgotten what feeling even was outside of anger, frustration, and depression.
From this actual real-time feeling space could I begin to access the core of my pain which became like a new sunset on my life’s possibilities. I began to see the ways in which I had kept myself small and hidden out of fear. Fear of actually being that which I was truly meant to be even in its uncertainty. I just knew what I was feeling wasn’t me. Mindfulness leading to heartfulness.
The rest of the story is one negotiated step at a time that continues to this day just on a different frequency and relational ground. It was the act of taking stock of WHAT I was feeling, WHY I was feeling it, and then actually feeling it in all its textures with the parts of me that held it. It was becoming aware of the conflict between one part to another that created a chaotic stasis. I was seeing and feeling myself in a ways that were both amazing and difficult. Truly a bliss mess. The becomes so much more understood once you journey into heartfulness.
I am grateful for the mindfulness that lead me to this new world of ‘feeling what you are feeling as you are feeling it’. The next step beyond the awareness into the land of vulnerability and deep healing. It is the bridge between our humanity and our divinity. It is the clearing of our carbon into translucent crystal. It is the portal that connects us to the power of real love and soul expression. This is the way of SoulFullHeart.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
There are many understandable qualms and queries that a wide array of souls have about letting in ‘new’ teachings and perspectives. There’s a way that in a sense, many of us have said ‘yes’ to being a part of abusive groups and leaders – political, spiritual, etc. Perhaps that’s why resonance can be a scary thing for parts and Metasoul Aspects of us, who have been ‘burned’ before, who have walked out (and may still be walking out) abusive relationships on many levels with those who they were once convinced truly loved and accepted them ‘unconditionally’ – which is perhaps one of the biggest hooks of them all and speaks to so much of our collective and personal wounding…
Today, after doing some research into different spiritual leaders and groups, I feel a collective pain and it feels like it pierces and echoes quite strongly. It’s a sense of some heavy influence and infiltration (which was signed-up for and allowed in for good and necessary reasons) from what can be called ‘Archonic’ energies and whispers, which really in a way just feels like the whispers of heavily unowned or outright disowned shadow. To find ourselves in abusive relationships on any blatant or subtle levels reflects an abuse which perpetuates inside of us and the suppression of our own shadows; what has been held in the dark and not only what could be considered ‘dark’ or low vibration. Taking this in as a piece for collective healing is important, yet the more important and power-filled choice is to take it back inward, to find our personal contribution to it, starting from us to us.
The degree to which there is denial that ALL, even the most precious, beloved and highly regarded gurus of our time and beyond also have ‘shadow’ to work and aren’t perfect or above being the human they signed up to be in their life and timeline, is the degree to which it is often suppressed and disregarded within too. We want to blame the others who fall from grace, yet so often there are parts of us, ESPECIALLY Metasoul Aspects of us, that have experienced this themselves in their own timelines and are afraid to face the shadow within that matched and made OK the unowned shadow in the other in THIS timeline.
That might be a lot to digest, yet it feels of great importance if we are truly to ‘clean house’ in this new ‘year’ called ‘2018’, which, it feels like, IS the invitation when it comes to Disclosure’s current unfolding that cannot be avoided personally as it happens globally.
To make the choice to lean into a new offering, such as what we talk about and share in SoulFullHeart, likely brings up quite a bit for some of you who feel resonance and yet feel a need to balk and take it this work in in small doses. This is understandable and actually feels necessary too. There is a need now to truly discern where a teacher, author, guru, speaker, etc is coming from and to vibe-in with their particular views of love and spirituality, to see if they truly work for you at this time. There is an enormous capacity in all of us to let in and lean in and there is a vast amount of distrust that comes with that too, embodied in a part of you that we call the Inner Protector and also the Gatekeeper. Bless this part of each of us for the filtering, the necessary judgments and push-aways, the incredible job they have done and had to do. To be truly led by your deepest heart into healing paths that will not offer abuse but instead continually give you back to you as you find the power of your naked heart and soul again without need of a Protector, is perhaps one of the most profound gifts coming to you this year and beyond and it is definitely my own wish for ALL of us as we continue arising and rearising into our Sacred Humanity, that is powerful, soulful, and above all heartful. ❤
If you wish to feel more into SoulFullHeart, perhaps with your Inner Protector/Gatekeeper held consciously in your heart while doing so, you can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess to learn and feel more about what we offer and how we offer it, and ready much about who we are as well in other parts of our website and on our blog. ❤
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
SoulFullHeart Experience 