Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Your Inner Princess Or Prince To Experience Sacred Union

By Jelelle Awen


The prince and the princess….so many images and associations come up when we feel into these archetypes and energies. The princess wanting and waiting for her ‘Prince Charming’ to come and claim her, the prince going on grand adventures and ‘fighting evil’ to find her…..this frequency is so IN our collective consciousness. I feel it represents a deeper desire and longing within us for sacred union with a courageous mate who truly claims us (not binds us, yet bonds with us) on all levels of heart, soul, mind, and body despite whatever fear-based obstacles come forward to get in the way. And, our souls and heart seem to know that this is not just a fantasy, yet IS actually possible to experience and is our birthright as sacred humans to experience too.

The Inner Prince and the Inner Princess, from a SoulFullHeart perspective, represent the parts of us that we were as teenagers and our feelings about romance and sexuality. Often, this has idealized tones inside of us (the grand romance scenario) until disillusionment sets in based on what these parts of us actually experience of relationships ourselves personally and what is templated and modeled for us by our parents’ relationships. How our parents respond to our budding sexuality and our growing curiosity about sexuality (either overly energizing it or under energizing it) also impacts if it blooms and flourishes inside of us (is watered by healthy love) or if it is suppressed.

There is something preserved in the soul it seems until this phase of ‘great disillusionment’ during teenagehood for most of us, that it also feels like is a form of Dark Night of The Soul before a deeper sense of amnesia sets in. This disillusionment pushes up feelings of depression as we realize, on an existential level, that we are ‘stuck’ here in 3D life and even a grand romance (which we are beginning to feel is highly unlikely and maybe even impossible) is not going to make it bearable to be here.

Rebellion kicks in too during this phase as parts of us may try to push away from 3D conditioning that we receive in schools and in our family cultures. The push away usually just leads to more suffering, though, and acute shame and unworthiness as parts of us just feel ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for being so different from ‘everyone else’. At this point, a strong Inner Protector energy may come in to create a buffer between us and the world, to help us fit in and survive being here, and start creating 3D-based personas and masks to ‘get us through it.’ The rebellion, disillusionment and especially the original seeds of hope and dreams for romance get pushed far away into the emotional body and the Inner Protector stands at guard over them, over the heart, and over the soul too.

It then becomes likely that it is our unfelt Inner Teenager who is underneath the way that we engage in romantic relationships as we get ‘older.’ This leads to emotional AND sexual immaturity, regardless of how much life experience we have in relationships. This immaturity is what can manifest push-pull, abuse, toxicity, codependence, suffering patterns, being in loveless and sexless marriages, and even being a lone wolf/monklike/celibate for long periods of time. The Inner Protector goes into ‘lock down’ around sexuality and romance, not allowing for the prince and princess energies to mature into the Queen and King that they are meant to BEcome.

I have felt these energies in facilitants and in myself over the years, connecting with and working with various teenage aspects and ultimately allowing my Inner Princess to receive the water of love that she needed from me and from the Divine to bloom into my queen. Being in sacred union with Raphael Awen, who has done similar process and feeling work with his Inner Prince, allows for the FULL expression of my mature Queen and his mature King and the deeper healing of any immaturities in both of us. I feel that without this ability to connect with parts of ourselves that are usually subconscious to us, we would probably not be able to show up for this relationship and the frequencies of deep soul, heart, body, and mental resonance in a mature way as parts of us would probably block it or sabotage it.

Connecting with your Inner Prince or Princess is such a tender and wonderful ground of exploration. We have tended to look down against ‘teenagers’ and our own teenage experience especially can be suppressed and denied, put away or ‘locked away’ because it is too painful. Going into it, exploring it, remembering it, feeling it allows us to get back in touch with our hopes, dreams, riper soul frequencies. BEing the loving energy that these parts of us have been waiting for opens up the possibilities that this can then be experienced with a mate who is engaging in the same process!

Raphael Awen and I will be teaching more about the Inner Prince and Princess, our experience with these aspects of ourselves and also offering a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Prince and Princess, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. donation:www.facebook.com/events/275463096260878. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.