While There Are Only A Few Seeds In An Apple, There Are An INFINITE Number Of Apples In A Seed!


By Raphael Awen

How we relate to money is one of the biggest limitations to our emotional and spiritual awakening, and healing process. It seems money holds some of our densest limiting convictions about reality. Sayings like ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ and ‘Don’t quit your day job’ abound as if they hold deep truths at some fundamental level in life that you must live within, or perish. This is living from the picture of the limited number of seeds in the apple.

How we relate to money however can also be one of our greatest awakenings as we recognize it for the deep grist of our journey into wholeness that it can be. If the universe is a universe of Infinite Love and if money is simply LOVE IN MOTION, then there is actually no shortage of what we call money. Not only is there no shortage of money, but there is such an indescribable superabundance of money that we need a new digestive system in order to let in that abundance. This is living from the picture of the infinite number of apples in a single seed.

Feel the part of you who holds deep conditioning around the programming of lack. Feel the part of you who lives in fear of never getting free from the tyranny of lack, and never being free to offer and live from your deepest soul gifts that you have to give the world. Let these fears be transmuted in a process of feeling and healing your way to new ways of relating to money (love) for the growth ground that it wants to be. Money may now move from being one of your greatest limitations to one of your greatest liberations.

Listen here for a recent Group Call offering a ‘profoundly different than anything you’ve ever imagined before’ picture of a SoulFullHeart way of relating to money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSevFxW6dpU&t=1s


Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Money As A Mirror Of Our Relationship To Love



By Raphael Awen

Let’s get real for a moment about money…not ‘brutally’ real, but lovingly and honestly real with ourselves about money and its role in our lives.

While we’re at it, let’s break the cultural silence around money. Let’s feel money’s all too real, larger-than-life role in our lives, its limitation in our choices, and also, its potential for deep rebirth inside of us.

Let’s begin this worthy quest with some ‘quest’ions. What role does money play in your sense of whether you get to lead the life you really want to or not? How much space does anxiety about money take up in your life and dictate the options you feel you have or don’t have? How do you imagine your life would look and feel different if money were no object? What current relationships in your life would be different were it not for financial necessity? Do you love the country and location where you live, or is it also more about financial necessity? What about how you earn money in the world? Is it in alignment with your deepest sense of calling and purpose, or is it more about holding down a job that you dislike or even detest? How could these tough and sensitive money questions, and the truth-telling mirror that money is, be used to either set us free or keep us small indefinitely?

So many are finding the issue of money to be one of the strongest tethers or anchors keeping them stuck in a 3D reality while they are wanting and even aching to inhabit a deep ascension process of being in tune with their higher self, their guides, and their deeper gift expression in the world. So how do we enter a new timeline where money is concerned? How can we transmute this issue of money from one of the biggest hindrances to our ascension/awakening process, into one of our greatest means of awakening?

I’d like to share with you my own personal bigger-picture lens through which I’ve come to see money. See what resonates for you as your truth, and of course, as always, pass on the rest, or shelve it for further inquiry if you’re not sure.

My truth is that we are not victims in any way to money, or to the powers that be around money, or to debt, etc, All perception of ourselves as victims of a money system gone awry is in large part, in service of a part of us wanting and needing to stay small and secure in what it knows and feels as familiar. (I’m not saying that we don’t have a corrupt money system. I’m saying that we don’t have to be subject to a corrupt money system.)

Money itself and its role in our lives is a mirror that doesn’t lie and what it so effectively mirrors is our relationship to money and ultimately our relationship to love, which is ultimately what money is – simply a carrier of energy. Finding the courage to open out this truth alone can begin a whole new wave in your world around money. If this is true, then money and its role in your life is something in your direct control. I am responsible for the current circumstances in my life around money. I am not a victim in any way around money. Not all of me may feel this is true all of the time, but this too is in my circle of influence to change.

A key piece in beginning a significant shift here is seeing that money itself is not the issue, but instead it is our relationship to money that is the issue. It’s not the thing, but our relationship to the thing that determines what is healthy or unhealthy.

Let’s shift now to weave in some practicalities around money in light of this bigger picture.

If you feel stuck in a job you don’t like, feel into how a part of you must feel something desirable about this job from its point of view, or obviously you wouldn’t be there. In getting to know this part of you, what negotiations could you come to with this part of you that would either make the job more bearable for the time being or allow you to take steps to chart a new course for yourself?

Which leads to the next piece…what is it that you really love? What is it that you would do for no money just simply for the fun of it? And what if that expression of your gift could also be your means of earning a living? What is it that expands you out as you engage in it, rather than contracts you inward? What is it that you feel called to? The word ‘career’ comes from the latin ‘vocarre’ which means ‘to call’. None of us are without a calling, some of us are just haven’t consciously heart it yet. So what steps could you take to engage in this calling expression more and more in your life? My truth is that there is always a beginning place that one is aware of, yet beginning there is a negotiation with the part of us who isn’t quite ready to begin there. Getting started there at this beginning is being on the path of sacred calling that opens out the next pieces in terms of direction, courage, and recognition by others in the world. Why would we think that offering something less in the world than our deepest gifts would be a good idea where our wellbeing is concerned? Value always flows to need and back again in a continual loop. What are you giving in the world that others need? Giving yourself to the deepest needs are what provides a deep security where material needs are concerned regardless of what’s happening ‘economically’. Seek to start your own independent economy where what you supply in the world is in high demand! This could be as simple a beginning as cleaning up trash in your neighbourhood, and gifting yourself to Gaia in this way, and adding waves of love and beauty to the world around you as you do. Starting there will lead you to your next piece as you feel into your deeper guidance around calling and purpose. You will not be without remuneration for your contribution.

Another piece is to let go of the idea of ever ‘retiring.’ You will be ever in gift exchange and contribution in the world as long as you are here. Life, if anything is a symbiosis of life exchanging with life. Here, it’s actually impossible for life not to look after you. Life begets life. Retiring, in the normal way it’s related to is to take yourself out of the contribution picture which is really taking yourself out of the life picture. You may change roles and let go of a career path, but see yourself as a deep and profound contributor as long as you have breath.

If you are living on a so called ‘fixed income’ (or from a saved nest egg), you are going to want to ‘unfix’ it. The ways you can do that are all about changing your relationship to money. Some of the most anxious people financially are people with significant savings, where the amount of anxiety actually INCREASES with the more money they have, and the longer they have it. Money itself only does good as it is transacted. Money in stasis is dead money, like fresh fruit going bad, losing value and causing anxiety as it sits there. Money in motion on the other hand is a love machine. What gifts of love could you give yourself with that money that will actually increase your trust in a benevolent universe?

And what about debt? Why on earth would you stay in commitment to old debts that you have little hope of ever paying off? This is a big way that people stay stuck using a self image picture of ‘doing the right thing’ and commit themselves to a drudgery of debt. What deeper gifts are you justifying withholding from the world as you do this so called ‘right thing’? The only debtors prison is the one you willingly remain in while the door is unlocked awaiting your courage and choice to leave. Bankruptcy is way easier than most imagine. For many, even simpler will be Debt Repudiation – just walking away from accumulated debts. The blocks to seeing and feeling this are all emotional in my truth. What gifts could you give the world after you gave yourself your self permission to break an unhealthy commitment to debt? Again, I ask ‘how could any strategy for financial security be valid if it’s about giving something less than your best gifts in the world?’ Symbiosis simply doesn’t work inside of a withhold!

Another big piece you can feel into is to gift money-as-love into places that align with your soul purpose and path. Giving money is a powerful way to plant seeds into the soil you desire to rebase your life direction and growth into. Money is only energy and all energy is sourced ultimately in love. I would love to be in a love-gift money exchange place with you if my work is a gift to you. You can do that on our Patreon page here: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart. Maybe fully receiving the gift I have for you can’t occur for you until you enter into a deeper reciprocity with me, and vice-versa. Again, it’s the flow of love and the flow of money in a seedtime-and-harvest reality that moves our worlds, both internally and externally.

Another big way to move your relationship to money is to see every expense you have as a ‘gift of you’ instead of a bill to pay or an obligation. You are now gifting the power company money in exchange for the gift they gave you of electricity piped into your home. Wow! You are gifting the grocery store with love-money for their love gifts to you that nourish your body. What could be more sacred? You just got all this benefit, just by giving them some digits from a computer screen or some magical pieces of paper! If you can’t give this gift with joy, you are corrupting the gift, along with your own alchemy. Maybe you should more integrously consider refusing their gift and setting up your own solar system or growing your own food if that feels more in alignment with your deepest love expression in the world. Can you feel how big this is to stop ‘paying for’ anything, to be instead in a love gift and deep gratitude exchange with everything you acquire in the world for your wellbeing? Talk about entering Golden Earth Now…! and doing it all from a change in heart…

I’m curious how this is landing in you. Can you feel a ‘new world order’ wanting to arise inside of you personally? I’d like to further help you through session space if you feel I could be of further help to you around feeling and healing the parts of you that need you to show up in a way that you haven’t up till now been able to, in order to make these kind of quantum jumps into new worlds of reality. You can read more at the following link about the session space I (and SoulFullHeart) offer… http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

The old ways of relating to money may still have some inertia as they continue to move through your life, but the very big difference is that these movements are diminishing, as new ways are arising. You are entering a new world at a rate and pace that is in alignment with feeling all there is to feel along the way. It’s in feeling this ‘all there is to feel’ as blossoming sacred humans that change happens. It is here that our inner and outer worlds are transformed.

(If you’d like to listen to a recording of an awesome recent group call that we did on money, you can do that here: SoulFullHeart Group Call – Money, Abundance, Soul Purpose, Guided Meditation)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Financial Area Of Life: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri


There are some souls who have signed up to become masters in the domain of money and finances, and some even become financial wizards at very young ages. Then there are some who seem to not ever get a foothold on having a financially stable lifestyle; juggling multiple jobs, bills, family members to provide for, and a seemingly endless list of troubles. There are those who dance in between these two as well, and this is sometimes where we will find Indigos, Crystals and other souls like them. When I feel these souls, and also when I reflect on my own ongoing journey and healing with regard to money, I feel the tug ‘o war between old conditioning that we have been raised by, old systems that are collapsing, and the arising desire to keep blowing up these systems so we can live in an economy that is gift-based and involves living in conscious community with shared resources. This writing today is mostly for those who feel as if money is an area they struggle with. It is VERY possible to be of these soul groups and NOT feel as if money is a challenging topic!

There is a reality to ground into when it comes to current financial systems in place, and then there is also a more desirous way of being and transacting in life and in relationships that is more nourishing, and that is not only a dream but is something we are actualizing right now – if we can begin to let that in. This is the place where I feel these unique soul groups seem to have a lot of struggle. There is still a need for money to some degree, and money itself, after all, is only a piece of our overall consciousness about love and exchange… our very personal relationship to it, is what makes it either come into our lives in abundance or keeps us feeling as if we are victims, always needing more of it and never seeming to get ahead. Choosing what it is we want to do with the money we have (i.e. what we want to invest it in) is actually an area where we have a lot of power.


We often have a rebellious streak that wants to avoid the whole thing of having to find financial stability to some degree in our lives, and also we may feel entitled to free help or services. I’ve definitely had a lot to feel around entitlement, wanting things to happen YESTERDAY and sometimes also wanting financial exchanges (like food and rent) to be WAY lower, if not free. I also leaned into birth family for a chunk of my early adulthood for financial help, which they felt obliged to give me at the time. During my healing process though, I was guided to end this cycle and start taking care of myself… that’s where my real growth started to take root, in more arenas than just this one. At some point, I had to choose to invest in myself in a deeper way. This is also where SoulFullHeart came in, and because I was choosing to invest deeply in ME and the timing was right to do so, the money for sessions just sort of worked itself out somehow and, because it was the right path for me, the growth was (and is) exponential and paying off in many, many ways.


Though part of me didn’t want to work anymore unless it had to do directly with my soul purpose work, it turned out that life was actually trying to show me that for a phase, I needed to have a regular job to offer me the healing I needed in order TO be able to fully inhabit my soul purpose work much later. The main gift of this, I am now realizing, was being able to land more in my much needed personal healing. I needed the grist of having a job (or several) in order to feel myself and parts of me more strongly, to have them pushed up to the surface by their different reactions so that I could feel and heal what I was being asked to during this phase.This also taught be how to navigate and flow with life while engaging in deep inner work. This created a profound lifestyle change that is still evolving today, right along with me. There is a bigger trust in life that I didn’t have back when this all first began, but in hindsight I can now understand it… I needed to trust deeper that if this is what life was showing me I needed to do, there would inevitably be something big in it for me. Perhaps one of the biggest gifts I can cultivate from having gone into the gift of every single job I’ve had as an adult, is that I can now digest it in writings like this one, with a desire to help you find your own way to more trust in the choices life is offering you (regardless of what soul group you belong to!). Finding stability is an act of self love and care. We may need to make choices that de-stabilize us for a phase too, but we ready ourselves for that by allowing ourselves to actually HAVE stability for a while, laying a healthy groundwork inside of ourselves to be able to find our way with sanity.


It’s easy as young people fresh out of university or college, to feel imprisoned by debt. There can be a lot of guilt around wanting to bail on it or maybe some self-image pieces around declaring bankruptcy because of it. I feel strongly like debt actually IS a prison sentence that we are ALLOWING to be real for us. It is another way to be distracted from our true healing and soul purpose work by feeling predominantly like victims to the systems we are trying to shift and change. Well, what I feel to be more and more true these days, is that these systems are already collapsing in on themselves, because they were always meant to. Love has already won. There is no real battle to fight here, we just have to find ways to climb out from under the rubble. Feeling angry or upset is so normal and expected and indeed, for phases we do need our outrage (I’m especially talking to Indigos here, feels like) in order to help move things along, yet, if you think about it, who is that outrage meant to ultimately serve, but YOU? Whatever, wherever it leads you to, it is the path you are choosing and the path you most need at this moment. Feeling knocked sideways by the realm of money, is a symptom of something inside of US that needs to be felt and healed. As we choose to go inward, the systems will be and ARE collapsing outward. Your outrage is a roadmap to your inner world of pain and desire, both, and you DO have an effect on the collective on different levels whether you decide to go in and heal or not…


This philosophy is so applicable to any area of our life where we feel we would like to experience more abundance or an easier flow. Going inward about it is where we can feel and experience our true power and alchemy. We are infinitely creative beings, all of us. Though it’s difficult to understand at times why we seem to be struggling to get ahead, especially if we are conscious at all about the HUGE souls we are and the importance of what we came here to do and lead, we must stop looking outside of us for answers, for we are literal packages of goodies and shadow, both, that need love and care to unpack. We are hardwired for being a part of the deconstruction and reconstruction of the changes going on in this world, and as such, we must be grounded by doing this from the inside, first and most importantly. ❤


So, sweet “love sponge” souls, try to soak up some self love this weekend… if this area of life really is a struggle for you, you can try journaling with a part of you who holds on to this struggle and needs YOU very much right now. If you wish to, you can try the following questions in your journaling…


What does “money” mean to you?
What would being “financially stable” mean to you?
If you have some reactions to Leena’s writing about money and finances, what are they?


Let me know if you ever have the desire for a session to help you digest this and other areas of your very sacred life!


Lots of love to you, loved ones…





Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Money As An Exchange Of Love Energy: Conversations With Archangel Metatron

By Jelelle Awen


“Money is energy. It is an exchange of energy and, in another way, it does not exist and is only as real as the perception that you project upon it and the way that you relate with it. It is not the root of all evil as fear of love is what roots in evil or darker frequencies ,” says Archangel Metatron in response to a question I asked him about the higher consciousness definition of money. I am letting into my field higher guidance and reflection from him about money as we are hosting a group call and guided meditation about it this Saturday, February 4th at 4:44pm CST.


“Yes, that has been my sense of money for many years,” I answer, smiling at him.
He smiles back at me and continues, “Third dimensional reality – with its dualistic frequencies of separation and lack – has projected these feeling tones onto money. To the 3D self, the perceived lack or abundance of money directly relates to the often subconscious sense of this inside of themselves.”
“When we feel ‘tight’ or ‘lacking’ about money, it represents feelings of scarcity about love in our lives….”
“Yes, Jelelle. When there is an inner sense of abundant flow of love with yourself, with Divine Source, with others….then money is felt to be abundant, no matter how much of it there actually IS in the bank account.”
I digest this as a deeper truth in the moment even though this has been a process ground of expansion for me over the years and in serving others, including coaching small business clients on how to think about the financial area of their businesses.
“In my experience and experience guiding others, the 3D self especially uses the ‘earning of money’ to stay in suffering loops, especially around putting their energy and focus into jobs that aren’t connected to their passion purpose or soul purpose work,” I say. “This can be a transitional phase for people…to move out of doing a job just for the money to receiving their livelihood from the expression of their deepest soul passion. It has been a transition for my mate Raphael and I that has taken many years. Should I tell that story?”
“Yes, please, Jelelle, I feel it would be helpful,” says Metatron, sending a wave of golden love my way. I take his love into my heart, feeling it infuse my ‘story’ with new frequencies of relevance and gratitude.
“I worked an ‘office job’ for many years to support my daughter and myself. There was usually some connection to my passion purpose in these jobs: as a medical assistant in a cancer center, as an editor and reporter for a small business journal, as a coach and manager for small business clients. Each job seemed to bring me a step closer to the embracement of my soul gift expression. As I started really focusing on my emotional healing and spiritual awakening process, I eventually became a facilitator of others, holding space for their exploration, while earning money to do this. I left the office job and ‘steady paycheck’ environment ten years ago and have not returned to it.”
Raphael ran a painting contracting business in the Vancouver area for thirty years and we both lived off of the income from that until a few years ago when we left our client base there to move to Mexico. Raphael went through many transitions around the business, which he will tell in his own story, I’m sure, yet there was always an open and conscious question for us about if our deepest soul purpose work could provide the means of our livelihood rather than the painting business. We were serving others through SoulFullHeart, earning money through space holding and selling our books, yet, also we made sometimes difficult choices in our lifestyle to support this transition. We moved into an RV, sold almost everything we owned twice, declared bankruptcy, and left Canada for Mexico where the cost of living is much less and you can grow your own food year-round.”
Metatron nods at me to continue, knowing that I am not one prone to ‘telling my story’ as it often doesn’t feel real to me anymore and may not have the juice that the present moment does.
“We have lived very simply since being here in Mexico. We lived off of the last of the painting money savings (including using it to buy a piece of land on an off-grid ranch where we can retreat to if needed) until it ran out. Then, Sequoia Heartman and Leena Colibri began to earn money teaching English online. Their earnings, in addition to what we bring in through sessions, books, and donations into SoulFullHeart, is what currently provides the livelihood for all four of us.”
“One of the biggest shifts in how I related to money came from sharing money as a community, pooling all of it from what we earn as individuals to be shared together, for the last few years. The amazing thing about this is that because of our ground of transparency and the SoulFullHeart process itself which is our mutual way of relating, we have been able to bring reactions and triggers to each other around this without any conflicts arising because of it. There has been very little tension about sharing the money with each other and the sense of gratitude around it flows freely between us all.”
“This IS wonderful, Jelelle! This is more the way that money and alchemy flows in fifth dimensional consciousness. The energy exchanges with others are based in good will, gratitude, and a personal sense of inner abundance. Coming from this place of open abundant heart tones, sharing is natural and there is a deep trust that whatever you give will come back to you and the Universe will provide for you.”
“Yes, and somehow, from this place, all the needs of each individual person get met through this exchange, Metatron. The deeper phase for us in this transition to fifth dimensional consciousness around money is for ALL of our money and alchemy flow to be coming from SoulFullHeart and its offerings. And to experience a deeper abundance of goodness and beauty related to our living spaces. We also feel that gift exchange with others, including others coming to live with us here in Mexico and sharing in and contributing to the community pool of money, is a key aspect to the fulfillment of our vision and our desires. We are all visualizing this during meditation, connecting with our guides like you around it, and continuing to focus on inner healing and expanded heart and soul consciousness. It is a journey in process for sure.”
“Your story invites others to feel what their journey is related to this transition from 3D consciousness around money to 4D awakening to 5D,” Metatron says. “And I invite them, in this moment, to feel where they may be associating lack of love or abundance in their lives with how they are experiencing their money flow. I invite them to feel how the ways they earn their livelihood is connected to their soul purpose gift expression and ways that it is not. I invite them to feel their deepest desires related to money flow, abundance, and external (and internal) experience of it. I invite them to feel how much trust they feel that the Universe will provide all that they need.”
“This is a powerful invitation, Metatron. It is one that we offer as well in exploration of this ground from a higher consciousness perspective while holding the space inside to feel all the reactions that come up in response to it!”
“That is a magical thing indeed and I look forward to supporting others in this journey!”
“Me too, Metatron….me too!”


Note: Please join us for our live group call on Saturday, February 4th in which Raphael and I will explore the alchemical ground of money, abundance, and soul purpose. A monetary donation is required and much appreciated as it serves the unionifying of your intention and energy with ours.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Premise 15: Our relationship to money can either be a source of suffering or freedom

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day 15 – Money Day – of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Fasten your seat belts. I just woke up from a great night in the Golden Earth Inn. Golden Earth is what I feel is another dimension, perhaps fourth or fifth to this three dimensional level. Hey, if what we are is energy, why not go energetically where you really want to be, and feel what you really want to feel? There’s a great Golden Earth Cafe to wake up to in the morning, nestled right amongst the trees in a Sequoia grove. Also, the students from the Golden Earth School are a real chatty bunch and are actually the best teachers and they are into this premise dialogue today.

The premise is called ‘The Money Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Our relationship to money (which is ultimately an illusion) can either be a source of suffering or freedom.”

First up, money itself isn’t your and my problem. The challenge with money is in our relationship to money. There’s a big difference there and a ton of freedom for you right there if you’re open to it.

Money is an external. Your relationship to money is an internal. The same can of course be said about so many things in life, and a heap of freedom can be found by exploring this same principle in all these areas. It’s not the thing itself that makes something helpful or a hindrance in your life, but your relationship to the thing that makes all the difference. And, I might add, how parts of you (or subpersonalities) relate to money is where the exploration about money gets very interesting and illuminating. Read here more about parts: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheart-subpers…

If we are here to learn and grow as souls in this ongoing discovery of Infinite Love in an infinite universe of infinite possibilities, then money is surely going to be one of our biggest classrooms. Most of us use and need money to buy the things we want and need. It’s as central to our lives as breakfast.

But, money isn’t real. Well, it’s real enough, okay, I’ll give you that. I’ll accept it if you give me some and all that. But essentially, on a deeper meta level, money isn’t real at all, as we think of it, and it’s important to feel this if we are going to shift our relationship to money. We humans made up money as simply a means of exchange. Then we all agreed to recognize it as such and voila, ‘We’re in the Money’ as the song goes.

But now we see why money holds us so spellbound, whether in its abundance or absence. Money is something we can’t live without, right? Well, yes and no. I’m physically not going to die tomorrow if I run out of money, but in all likelihood, I’m going to need to find some before too long to buy the things I need for life sustenance. If the love of money is the root of all evil, then I’m one evil guy because my mind is on money a lot. And so is yours, right?

But what is money then if it ultimately isn’t real? Well, we can say and pretty easily so, that money is energy. Everything in the universe is energy, even what we call matter and physical objects are all energy. And the ultimate source energy of the universe is love.

What money really is……..is simply love.

Now, we can see why we are collectively so crazy about it. None of us can or want to live without love. And we also have all kinds of scarcity and abundance reactions around love to that get projecting onto our ideas about money. And now, we can begin to see why it’s all about our relationship to money that makes all the difference rather than money itself.

Two years ago, Jelelle Awen and I left behind and retired from our primary source of income in my painting contracting business and decided to move along with Leena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman, to Mexico. Our combined net worth nest egg and available credit gave us enough to live modestly for a bit more than a year. I have earned about the equivalent in the last two years what I earned in an average few days of painting. Needless to say, there’s been a ton to feel and process around our relationship to money! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As that year of living off of a dwindling nest egg went by with no awareness of how we going to get any more money, there was plenty of anxiety to feel. It wasn’t crippling anxiety because of the work we had done previous in our relationship with money, but there was still anxiety. What I learned as I was spending this painting nest egg money that I earned in Canada was that the energy in that money itself had a lot of ‘fossilized’ anxiety in it. I was coming into more and more trust, and the anxiety was actually associated with the energy in the money itself and where and when and how it was earned.

When we reached the end of that money, life opened out magically in the form of Leena and then Sequoia finding teaching English gigs on line, and we are beginning to receive money donations for SoulFullHeart sessions. I’ve never been more ‘broke’ in my life and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in relationship to money!

I have desires for more, even plenty more, but I feel so much trust that whatever the universe brings me, it’s what I need for my growth. Last month a man who was interested in SoulFullHeart wanted to meet us and took us out to dinner at what was pretty much the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. Sitting there in my falling apart sandals after living off of the monthly budget of what I used to spend at Starbucks in a month was an almost overwhelming experience. I did go to tears at one point letting it in.

Okay, these Golden Earth students are a chatty bunch alright and they wanted me to go off on our story for a while.

But what’s your story around money? Does it feel like a source of suffering or freedom in your life?

What ‘you do for dollars’ or pesos, wants to be transmuted more and more by a feeling all there is to feel around your relationship to money, which ties into your deepest existential need for love? All of this shifts into less suffering and more freedom from the tyranny of money as you feel and heal your relationship to money.

If you give your greatest gifts into the world and you die because you couldn’t live off of it, would there be any better way to go? Really, I feel that is what we are all being invited to live into, to change more and more into living in a gift economy.

If I, or Jelelle can help you with any more of your personal transition around money and your relationship to it, I’d love to do that through sessions on Skype and the SoulFullHeart way of life. They are crazy affordable, at least when it comes to the cost of money!

“All you need is love, love….love is all you need!”

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 1: Money Is Energy


Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity.

Wayne – Yeshua, This is Wayne. Are you there?

Yeshua – I am always here. Where have you been? 🙂

W – I’ve been busy, too busy, but I miss you. We talked last about talking about money together and I wanted to see if it’s time.

Y – Time?

W – You know what I mean…

Y – I do, and sorry for being testy right off the bat. I miss you and I miss our connecting.

W – I miss you too. Christopher [Gabriel] tells me he misses my conversations with you. Jillian [Jelelle] and Kathleen [Kalayna] tell me they are waiting. Fran says she took notes from our last conversations.

Y – And you are waiting for the right time?

W – Well, I don’t know what to say about that. I could go off on how busy it’s been or how full it’s felt having adjusted to living for a couple months now in an RV in a campground.

Y – Time is an illusion.

W – Okay…

Y – I’d like to hear the RV stories, I just wanted to dive in.

W – I like that about you. ‘No pissing around,’ we said last time. Partly to offend the offendable, and partly out of a desire to blow shit up…to get on with something that so wants to be gotten on with.

Y – And Money is an illusion too.

W – I know that. I should say I’ve heard that before and even made some sense of it, but inevitably the illusion becomes more of a reality. My time, energy and anxiety seem to default to something like ‘my life revolves around money.’ Part of the reason I’ve waited to have the space for this conversation with you was waiting for a time when the money concerns are looked after in the moment. As In ‘now I’m free to be creative and give what I truly have and want to give.’

Y – And have fun giving?

W – The funnest fun actually.

Y – So you’re saying that it feels like a lot of the time, or most of the time possibly, it feels like you don’t have the time or money to have fun?

W – Pretty much.

Y – Why would you do anything that you don’t have fun doing?

W – You mean ‘fun’ as in gaining reward and pleasure, doing what we most deeply enjoy…

Y – Anything less isn’t fun. I’m not talking about the boring trash that passes as fun for so many people. Most people have no clue what fun is. It’s like anyone who’s had an orgasm thinks they know what it’s about.

W – What is it about?

Y – It’s about not knowing what it’s about, and knowing you don’t know. Which is what allows you entry into real unending learning.

W – I like learning about orgasms.

Y – I know you do.

W – Do you think we’ll be able to stay on track and uncover some really cool shit about money together?

Y – I do. And we’ll kill some sacred cows about sex and time while we’re at it, too.

W – We’re not sounding too smug right now?

Y – Too smug for some for sure, but most of them will never find this writing anyway. To those who do find this writing and find being direct and plain and transparent offensive, I’d say that you need to live some life for the sole purpose of coming to terms with what you really want. Because until you know what you want, what you really want, you are not of much use to life, love, others, or God. You are use-less instead of use-full.

W – I’ve wanted conflicting things for much of my life and I’m sure I still do.

Y – And is it fun?

W – No, it’s conflict.

Y – The only conflict worth having is conflict that brings you back to real fun.

W – And all this has to do with money I’m sure…?

Y – If money IS anything, It’s an agreement. It’s an agreement about how we will exchange energy. We’ll get into that I’m sure, but for now, I want to come to an agreement about we will exchange energy in this dialogue.

W – Okay.

Y – For starters, I definitely don’t want to do all the teaching, more like half teacher, half student.

W – Okay, then we’ll have a half a series on money?

Y – No wise guy. You get to do the other half.

W – I get it only works that way.

Y – And why does it only work that way?

W – When any one of us give over all of our power over to the teacher and see ourselves as students only, we abdicate our sovereignty and our power and that just hurts.

Y – And been there, done that right?

W – Enough lifetimes to be finally done with it.

Y – Good. This is an exchange of energy. At times you bring the questions, at times I will. That’s coquesting.

W – ‘Co-questing?’ You’re just gonna keep making up words aren’t you?

Y – What word do you know that wasn’t made up?

W – If the human race is anything, it’s making itself up as it goes.

Y – Yes, teacher.

W – There’s the ‘Word Of God.’

Y – There’s the word of Wayne.

W – Where’s this going?

Y – You started it.

W – Yes, I did. Maybe all of my former esteem for the bible as the Word Of God was really about a journey of coming to terms with the fear of my own bigness, with the power of my own words? With being a god and a man at the same time?

Y – Maybe?

W – I’m using the power of suggestion here and of being in ‘not-knowing’ as well.

Y – Okay, fair enough as long as it’s not a shrink from hiding your truth. The world is starving for your truth. Men and women have hidden their truth under a bushel of ‘thee truth’ for so long, and that time is now up. That’s why we are in the midst of a great shift, and we need conversations like this one to assist in the birth of what’s coming.

W – And money has been a container for the power of our truth, hasn’t it?

Y – Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity. Yes, much of the truth of one’s life can be seen in our relationship to money. Whether you’re stuck in a rat-race, or you’re unfulfilled with all the money in the world, money only and always reflects an internal reality.

W – I think we opened up this question more than we addressed it today.

Y – Insight can only come in response to the quality of the quest. It’s a flow, a current, a currency. No question, no quest.

W – I have lots of questions.

Y – Good. Treasure them. We need them. Guard them.

W – The deadest man is the man who still breathes, but has lost his quest.

Y – Wow, Wayne, looks like we started something.

W – ‘Walking with Jesus,… talking with Jesus,… all along the way…’

Y –  ‘Turn in your hymnals please to the third stanza of hymn number 389.’

W – ‘All together now.’

Y – We’ve so ached for so many centuries to find something. We’ve given our hearts and souls. Our lives, our time, our money.

W – Only to find out that what we thought we knew, we don’t know.

Y – And not knowing is only and always what leads to knowing…

W – Which in turn leads to more not knowing.

Y – Exactly.

W- So this book might turn out to be one big disappointment?

Y – Only for those allergic to fun.

W – I missed you, man

Y – I missed you too.

W – How much of this can we stand?

Y – We’re about to find out, aren’t we?

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.org for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 2: Feeling-Based Currency


The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Wow, where to start today?

Yeshua – Start with what you are feeling. Feeling is current, as in flow. So is money, as in currency.

W – I’m feeling a mixed bunch of feelings actually this morning, more digestions and anxiety around RV living, moving more and more towards community with SoulFullHeart as compared to a more sterile ‘healing offering,’ then I’m feeling some press towards a number of ‘to dos’ for today. I’m also digesting the awkward talk I had with a man over tea yesterday bringing my truth in the face of his unfeeling, brilliant, mental genius…

Y – A ton of content for sure, can you feel a container of any kind to hold it all this morning?

W – Well, yes, I feel my own vulnerability underlying all the change, parts of me seeking reassurance that this all isn’t heading to an undesirable place. That leads me to reach out to the Divine Mother simply asking for that holding and love and care and guidance and energy to respond.

Y – And what response have you felt?

W – So far, I felt a sense of that ‘yes, I am being held.’ And I felt guided to open up our dialogue, to make finding and seeking my way something I do out loud as a gift to others who resonate.

Y – So why care about others when you are feeling admittedly close to the edge?

W – Because all of us are actually very vulnerable to changes. Most of us are too medicated to feel that though. A big medication of choice in my past has been a watertight relationship with money that was about ‘getting ahead’ at all costs, and we’ll give attention to other things when we are elusively somehow ‘ahead’. Living free of this unhealthy relationship with money for me involves a process of being transparent with where I am really at, inviting others to feel with me their changing reality, and giving what I have to give now, instead of waiting for some right time.

Y – And why do it through talking with me?

W – You get right down to business, don’t you?

Y – …No time to waste and all the time in the world. Though I’m leaning towards no time to waste at the moment…

W – I get that me authoring a ‘well written’ book, with a well crafted scope and table of contents, and great arguments, as if the guidance and knowledge I would share somehow came from my superior learned humanity, would be the only way that many people could take in what I have to offer. Me the brilliant author and them the brilliant student/resourcer. But dialoguing with you, Yeshua, instead as a means of giving seems way more interesting to me. Of course, for so many, the very idea that I am talking with Yeshua is a leap that they can’t take……at least, not yet. I’m looking for those who are ready to take this leap. Into themselves. Into new relationality, with themselves, with others, and with the Divine.

Y – Okay, long answer. Where to you put me in the relationality list you just gave – yourself, others or the divine?

W – Hmmm’ 🙂 Where would you like to be?

Y – I asked first…

W – Sometimes you feel like this really cool part of me that has laid dormant for most of my life, that when I get the self permission to just connect with you, I can obtain all the guidance and energy and resource that I need to find my way. In Soulfullheart, we call this part of us our Gatekeeper. But then, at other times, you feel like an Ascended Teacher. One who has returned to source from several earth journeys who at present makes yourself available to help whoever is ready and willing. Then I feel that it is my Gatekeeper, my inspirational muse is the one who likes to connect with you, as the Ascended Teacher. That’s as sure as I can be at the moment, which isn’t mentally that sure, much more so a feeling-based surety.

Y – ‘Feeling-based surety’…you’re feeling a little backed up with all the ideas your throwing around so quickly here. It’s a bit hard to keep on track.

W – It’s meant to be. Feeling-based cognition is meant to interrupt the mind through chaos.

Y – Yes, teacher…continue…

W – What did I get myself into?…okay, I’ll try. The mind seeks line upon line solid answers to afford a sense of security and dependability. The heart which is more an expression of our Divinity needs no such surety to feel safe. The heart feels safe and secure in chaos, for it knows that chaos is never only a death, but always a death and a rebirth. As humans, we are huge expressions of this re-creative force in the earth. How did that sound?

Y – Like major enlightened shit, man. How does it feel?

W – Like I have a lit rocket strapped to my ass sometimes and scary as hell.

Y – Sounds like currency flow to me.

W – Huh?

Y – Being in need, which was your essence since the chromosome and the egg came together, and getting your needs met has been the underlying vulnerability to all of your life. The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

W – Which is another way of saying that all too often the more money one has, the deader they are…

Y – Mostly true, no doubt. The reason though that any soul chooses to come into any given life is to work this fear of death. It’s the underlayer that underlies all the activity of life. It’s even written in the Divine’s essence as well. The divine itself doesn’t believe it has a guarantee of never facing a complete demise, a ceasing to be. Being is such a great opportunity, so it naturally fears loss of the privilege. The Divine lives in the unknown, feeling its own vulnerability, and when we are up for tuning in that frequency, we can get on with some really exciting living.

W – Wow, you just like rewrote the whole cosmos thing.

Y – If we’re going to end the money madness, we’re gonna need to get to the root of some things.

W – Just between you and me, Yeshua, I can definitely feel a part of me who is not so sure we are going to uncover anything.

Y – And I like that part of you, because it’s way more real than a false-self bravado claiming to have some answer. It’s not the one with the biggest answers who wins this race, it’s the one with the biggest questions.

W – Like the child who annoys his dad by asking ‘why’ to every answer he gets…

Y – Except here, you won’t get annoyance. You will get childlike wonder and awe and transparency, and in that, you get trans-parented into a new reality.

W – Okay, there’s the second word created: ‘transparented.’ Are we going to keep a dictionary on these?

Y – I like just launching them instead. Dictionaries are bit boring, to me at least. Words are currency; they are flow. All of them are made up and so is money.

W – Feeling full again, Yeshua. You’re a lot, you know?

Y – I’m a lot? You never stop asking questions.

W – But said you wouldn’t get annoyed…

Y – Unless I do. Conflict isn’t such a bad thing, you know. Way underrated. Conflict is what moves us. Another currency. Feeling-based currency. All currency begins as feeling.

W – For tomorrow?

Y – For the rest of your life.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 3: Collisions, Chaos, And Great Destruction


 The faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. A clear and warmer morning brewing here.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I like the feeling of that. What’s brewing in you?

W – My mind is definitely wanting to wrap around some of the lifestyle changes that have come as result of shifting from pursuing money to pursuing passion purpose. I’d like to live that, teach that, advocate for that, help others into that. And not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Y – It feels like a wrestling though.

W – It does. There feels like a lot of conditioning to wade through just to find the space to feel this desire, to get beyond the numbness of routine and being in the collective consciousness around it all.

Y – How can I help you with all of that?

W – I’d like to tune in my soul’s purpose right now. I’d like to feel the lessons I came here this life to learn. I’d like to feel the gifts I came here to give. I suspect those two are closely related.

Y – Why is that difficult to do? Why do you need to effort ‘tuning it in’, as you say?

W – I’m going inside looking for an answer to that question,… It feels like I’m afraid of moving too far away from the collective consciousness, that I will somehow become irrelevant and if I don’t relate, then I am in danger of dying and losing out.

Y – Thanks for naming that huge fear, which is extremely common to all men and women, but so unfelt in how much it shapes and leads culture and relationships. And, let me say, there is validity to it. Your life and its needs, needs to be grounded in the needs of others. Needs, Needs, Needs. Being a soul, being a human is about needs. You need. I need. We all need. Every cell in your body needs. Every fiber in your heart wants and needs. The degree of that need in all men and women is evident by the degree that people suppress it into the unconscious as a way to deal with it.

W –  On that note, I want to say that part of me sometimes honestly wonders if I’ve done myself any favors by opening myself out to such large degree to feel this insecurity. It doesn’t feel good, or fun.

Y – I get that. I do. What’s the option, may I ask?

W – Well, for me, I don’t feel there is much of an option. I keep feeling how false the money security world is. I recall how deep the rumbling for something more went in me when I was given to the collective consciousness around money. I’ve felt plenty how isolated I was from relationships, time starved, stuck in a rat race, and sacrificing my heart and my health too. I think, Yeshua, the feeling is a fear of being half born somehow. I relate to the old and the new, and the old isn’t quite gone and the new isn’t quite here, and I’m in the middle somewhere. Living in a leaking RV I might add, that I’m going to be caulking in today’s sunshine.

Y – Thee most courageous guide, Wayne, is not someone who’s done the journey and is now showing others. The most courageous guide is someone who hasn’t done the journey, and is willing to show others how to be in the unknown, as he or she takes that very journey. That’s the true elite.

W – I get the sentiment of that. It goes into my heart. But I also get a judging voice that says I shouldn’t be focused on being some elite.

Y – Tell me a little more about that voice, where does it originate in you?

W – It has to do with others from my past who might judge me for pulling out of my former life deeply embedded in Christianity, that the motives moving me have something to do with a superiority complex.

Y – Okay, then I agree with you. In your words, you shouldn’t be focused on being some elite, but I would add, you do need to be okay with simply living the elite being that you are. A king who doesn’t know he is king is no king at all. He doesn’t get to inhabit his true domain. This really is about worth. It gets into superiority. There is your worth as a human which cannot be more or less than any other human. But functionally…hello…I’d say, you best make yourself worthy to others in some way shape or form given all those raging needs we just mentioned. You’re going to have to come to terms with that superiority judgment, and get into living the elite that you are.

W – Okay, so then how do I find and offer my deepest worth to others, and get compensated for it?

Y – THAT, the first part of that question is the alive question. The second part of how do you get compensated for it, really takes care of itself. We can talk more about that part later. But the question of how to find your deepest offering and how do you offer it – is one huge QUEST. Being on a quest is to be given to the question; heart, soul and body. Your life blood is living into that quest. It begins with saying ‘no’ to what you know it is not. How could you even begin to make room for this exploration when your life is filled with the collective unconscious world of being under the tyranny of money?

W – I felt a bit bratty just then when I asked the question, as if I could get some secret short convenient answer that just unlocks or fixes my dilemma. I feel the whole false world of money is out seeking fixes and fast bucks.

Y – And the faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

W – Sometimes that feels exciting, but often it just feels scary too. All of us are so tuned into ‘how will I fare?’ in these great shifts.

Y – That isn’t a bad question at all though. It’s a very human one. There are some very practical and grounded things you can do. The cool thing about it all is finding the thing that you can do that is in your personal best and highest self interest and just so happens to be in the highest and best interest of others. That is your most valuable contribution, that will fulfill your deepest needs. To the degree you can’t negotiate this inside of yourself, you are left with living in the collective consciousness fear ground of money. It’s being shaken up right now, but you can still niggle some ‘You can’t blame me’ for your own unfulfillment if you just hang out there. There won’t be any shortage of being in the company of victims.

W – This Quest, Yeshua, is one I know that at the end of my life, I will be assessing how I embraced it or how I shied away from it. All other achievements won’t stack up to anything in comparison,, except of course sex with Jillian. It is the real soul journey. Did I live my purpose? What legacy am I leaving? What I need and want now though is more guidance and juice on how to walk out the few decades between now and then.

Y – Sex with Jillian comes close, that’s so cool. This is meant to be deeply fulfilling and rewarding. You can’t pack this much fun anywhere else in the universe but in this earth realm. It is waiting to be reinvented, so I say, get on with your superiority and get on with your sex life, and your heart-on, and your hard-on, for all of LIFE. Find what you have to give, never stop finding it, give it away in the most effective way that you can. Let this passion arise in you, let it flow through you. Let it reinvent you. Let it kill you. Let it enliven you.

W – Yeshua, you always seem to open out more questions than you seem to solve, but I get that’s part of the new reality. We need much bigger questions that the teeny ones we have now. Thank you for showing up again.

Y – It’s all in a days work, my friend. Thank you for showing up.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 4: Love Is The Answer To All Of Our Money Problems


 I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. 

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – Yeshua, thank you for this conversation. For your heart open care and love. Top that off with giving the mind some guidance and illumination that it has been wanting for a long time, and it is a royal treat.

Y – Who knew that you could go inside yourself and find that? That is really the big lesson here. Money is only and ever an external reflection of your internal reality. Maybe we’ll get into that more today. But before we do, I want to feel a few things first.

W – Sounds good to me. Whatever may they be?

Y – I wasn’t sure myself, I could just feel a wanting to go into some heart ground first before we go mental. Everyone seems to be jacked up on mental answers for their dilemma. I get that. I understand that, as the mind is the primary moderator of life and solutions to problems are sought out primarily from the mind. I’d like to find a solution from the heart that the mind can get on board with. For that to happen, we need to the mind to admit its fear, its exhaustion and its plain old meanness.

W – Meanness?

Y – Yes, the mind can get really tyrannical. Judgments, chaotic thoughts, complete shutdown. It goes from screaming to sleeping and back to screaming. It doesn’t have the answers it needs, and it’s like a cornered animal.

W – Instinctual, you mean?

Y – Exactly. It is meant to support and help, but not lead. When its support and help structure is threatened with collapse, it gets thrashy. And this is where the heart needs to come in and feel. Feel the underlying anxiety. Actually feel the textures of what the mind is feeling as it is feeling it.

W – You’re calling it ‘the mind’ just now, and I’d call it the mental part of ourselves.

Y – I figured you could say this part better, please go on.

W – 🙂 Thanks. I’d like to stay on our thread just now, but I also want to back up a moment and just feel the people who are reading this. How they happened upon your and my conversation. How they came to their particular life dilemma. How they feel about reading a dialogue between a guy and what he claims is an ascended teacher. I want to say thank you for to every heart that is taking this in. Feeling it together. It’s moving stuff in the grids, and if it only moves a single grain of sand on the beach, but that space is enough for hearts to live in and find their way to freedom from the tyranny of money, then that’s pretty wayyy coool, huh, Yesh?

Y – This is so true. Power structures really do collapse when one person makes their way out of the matrix. The rest is just the mop up operation.

W – Yes, now you were saying the mind. I wanted to make the mind a part of ourselves. Feeling it as a part I mean more than how we hear those words used. I mean talking to the part with patience, respect, with making and efforting and holding a connection. That’s relationality with ourselves. We are made up of many undiscovered parts who each hold different feelings about money. These feelings manifest as all kinds of varied money collisions in our lives. Our money is in crisis and conflict because our energy is in crisis and conflict. And this conflict isn’t something to be conquered, but rather embraced.

Y – Wow, we’re hitting some really big points here. I hope people’s minds can keep up with the heart energy. That takes some getting in shape, no doubt. Yes, conflict, external or internal is often…(I was going to say ‘always’, but I’ll let up a bit on the language of certainty) a manifestation of change that is wanting to make its way. Which raises the really good question for someone to take in: ‘How much of the money dilemma you find yourself in is being impacted by an unwillingness to embrace change?’

W – Good one, Yesh. I know this is elementary stuff, but I so need to hear it again. Then the follow up question to that that comes for me is: ‘What would embracing change rather than resisting it look and feel like to you?’

Y – …Ending the meanness by letting in love and grace that you were previously closed off to. This is the inner manifesting in the outer. Meanness inside. Meanness outside. When people find themselves in and under financial tyranny, they can be sure they have a part of themselves, like you said Wayne, a living breathing sentient part of themselves swimming in that tyranny. Only as they themselves are willing to be a loving and patient ambassador to that part of themselves can they ever make a healthy change in what’s happening externally.

W – And what comes after that?

Y – Love is what comes after that, and love is the answer to all of our money problems.

W – My heart agrees with that no doubt, but my mind needs more data to live that out. Can you help me more on that one?

Y – My mind wants to rest just now. What do you feel about it?

W – Well, when you said that, I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. Now the mind is kicking up a really good fuss, thank god.

Y – Okay, good one, and what that springs for me is how fundamental this is to money. Money is only and ever an expression of our energy in the world, personally and collectively. If anyone is to change anything regarding money in their lives, it begins with going inside. This is true for healthy changes and unhealthy changes. The deal is now about consciously and healthily cooperating with the changes that are arising in our lives.

W – So can we put something practical in here? I mean, how do we do that? Not that what were saying isn’t practical, but I can so feel parts of me and parts of others saying fine theory, but how does that work in real life?

Y – What they are in fact saying with those words is a resistance to change. Understandably so. You aren’t going to get parts of yourself so invested for so long in old ways of being to embrace a new way without long overdue process. The process is patient and kind self love. Anyone who only is seeking a quick fix answer, a solution that affords them the illusion that there isn’t real and deep conflict going on inside themselves is only advocating for the meanness to be left intact.

W – Money dilemmas will either be the death of folks or the rebirth of them.

Y – …your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. You decide.

W – Wow, if there’s anything part of me would like to change about life is the worrying about money part.

Y – But when you feel that, what you are advocating for is a life without needs, which isn’t life at all. Dead men are the only men without needs. And the most alive man or woman is the man or woman most acutely in touch with their needs. And needs wouldn’t be needs if you didn’t lack something. Needing something is about interacting with an other to get what you have need of. No needs, no interaction, no life. Life is about negotiating what you want and need.

W – Whoa, you’re tweaking me again, Yeshua, which gets into why would I think that giving something less than my deepest and most valuable gifts to the world (ie. others) would be a sane way to go? I mean that’s what we’ve been trained to do.

Y – You’ve been trained in giving the least in hopes of getting the most. But ‘the most’ that you get is always tainted by the scarcity energy you gave out on the giving end. Kind manifests in kind. This is nothing less than learning a new way of life. One day and deal at a time. Asking yourself instead: ‘How can I give more of what I have in order to get what I need?’ is the path into this new life.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, need to pause there again. Need a day at least to digest, feel, and practice.

Y – I need a day to get ready for more too. 🙂 Thanks, Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 5: Not Withholding What You Have To Give


It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. Hello, how are you today?

W – I’d say I’m doing pretty well, actually. There’s a bit of morning fog in my field, and I’m sure I’ll be surprised by where we go today.

Y – So you’re hoping that I’m going to help you wake up?

W – Something like that. 🙂 I’m finding these last few days in dialoguing with you and sharing that with others…..doesn’t, on one hand, always feel like the most opportune time, with other stuff calling for my attention or not feeling super inspired like part of me imagined I should feel before I sit down to write. But, on the other hand, it is simply the choice, the heart, and the intention that opens it out for me. Did that make any sense?

Y – Makes a ton of sense to me. Letting your wanter, your heart, and feeling lead over thinking.

W – And I also get something about withholding what we have to give while we wait for a time when it feels better somehow to be giving.

Y – What is it that you get about that?

W – Hmmm, well, I certainly am not advocating for ‘shoulding’ ourselves about what, when, and how we should be giving our gifts. Okay, now the fog is clearing some more. What I felt was that my desire for more – whether it’s for more healing, more love, more resources, more people as in meaningful relationships in my life – is served by giving away some of what I already have. I need an outlet in order to find my inlet.

Y – Well said, Wayne. It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

W – I get that. It’s really amazing to feel the freshness and goodness that can come out of my bakery! Part of me is still surprised that it’s actually in there to give, and that I’m not depleted by giving it away, but rather expanded.

Y – What’s the expansion?

W – The whole world, or my whole world recreates itself, gradually for sure…to a world of ‘I can have a lot of fun giving what I have to give and getting what I need in return.’ The fears of going without begin to dissipate. If I do face a deep financial crisis where I’m stuck to afford food or shelter, I hope that I could still be giving what I have to give and trusting in the Divine that I am being held and loved and cared for. I can go through anything with that kind of love it feels like.

Y – We are so talking about currency right now, you know.

W – I so get that.

Y – Amazing, huh?

W – Totally. 🙂

Y – Love is the real currency. Fear is also a real currency. Money is only and ever a reflection of that.

W – Whoa, now you’re going deep on me, Yesh.

Y – Time to wake up, man, we’ve got shit to do.

W – I’m on it. Jillian just handed me some food.

Y – Withholding what you have to give because you fear going without ‘currents’ fear and scarcity. It shapes the world inside of you and outside of you in scarcity.

W – Which really hurts.

Y – Big time hurts. Fear is a contraction of the heart. Whether or not the world is a loving place isn’t even a question, as the closed heart sees and feels only the option of scarcity and pain.

W – I feel some brilliance coming on…just needed to warn you.

Y – Give ‘er.

W – The money system we created where money is hoarded like bread or tomatoes yet doesn’t go stale, but instead increases in value through earned interest in a bank account, was an attempt to baptize our collective fear into a love creation.

Y – When the truth is actually the opposite: the larger their bank account, the farther removed most people get from feeling themselves being held in a loving and providing universe. They were designed to feel loved and held, to not be in worry and scarcity.

W – For the most of us, when we imagine feeling loved and held, having a big whack of money is the deal.

Y – Again, the truth is actually the opposite. Having and hoarding a big whack of money is what insulates people in their fear and scarcity and cuts them off from knowing and feeling love. It’s no different than you sitting on a relationality gold mine with yourself, Jillian and a few others, and the divine and thinking you can keep that alive and to yourself. It doesn’t work that way. It dies that way actually. You have to trade in the currency that you desire more of. Currency isn’t currency until it flows.

W – And our current money system is hitting a wall inside of itself. It’s always said that consumer confidence is what makes the economy be in good shape, but when the system is crafted in fear and scarcity and relies on ‘confidence’ to make it all go, that’s by definition insanity.

Y – …told you we had shit to do.

W – I was just imagining myself with those 9 extra loaves and a desire to find folks who could use them. I wouldn’t get picky of course; I’d just go out and find the first folks I could that would be happy to have them.

Y – All you would need to make that happen is their trust in you and their need.

W – Say more.

Y – They would need to trust that you didn’t have any ulterior motives, that you simply didn’t want to see your extra loaves go to waste, and that you would find joy and relief in seeing them go to someone. And of course they would also need to be able to use the bread. Trust and need makes the currency flow.

W – So then, If I have an abundance of trust and need, then what?

Y – You tell me…

W – I really don’t know in the moment, but I suspect that I would be much closer to having true wealth, that my fear of poverty is based in an actual poverty inside of myself. Somehow, when I am out of touch with my truster and needer, I am out of touch with myself and others. I am truly isolated and unknown, even if I hold a big bank account.

Y – And isolated and unknown is having no currency. Having no currency is death.

W – Whoa, this is a lot to track, Yeshua. It opens a ton of questions.

Y – And it sticks dynamite under the inherent falseness in the current money system. Money as you currently know it is in flow too. It’s flowing though a huge crucible. It’s going through a huge death and rebirth as we speak. It’s a timing that cannot be stopped. Humanity has simply earned and learned its way here.

W – I feel that, Yeshua. Actually, most days, I check the news in the morning and am a bit surprised to see that it hasn’t fallen apart while I was sleeping, and a bit grateful too as it affords me more time to adjust and live into the change. I’m still quite attached to the groceries my money can buy.

Y – This is like a great fuel conversion of your being from running on fear and scarcity to running on trust, need and love. All the interior work you do inside yourself is what you enables you to live out the external changes, with grounded heart and creativity, and even adventure. If life is anything, it is meant to be adventure. The advent of something new. Not even your current money systems could hold this back, though they tried.

W – I’m awake now.

Y – Me too.

W – What now?

Y – Go live your life, Man. Live it from the heart. Go stir up some real trust and need.

W – Thank you, Yeshua. I feel how I need life today to take this in.

Y – Life is the currency and the flow. Life is meant to only and always bring you more of you, more love, more abundance.

W – You’re hot stuff, man.

Y – Me? I better put the fire department on alert about you?

W – Hey, that’s my line.

Y – I know, I like it.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.