The Financial Area Of Life: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

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There are some souls who have signed up to become masters in the domain of money and finances, and some even become financial wizards at very young ages. Then there are some who seem to not ever get a foothold on having a financially stable lifestyle; juggling multiple jobs, bills, family members to provide for, and a seemingly endless list of troubles. There are those who dance in between these two as well, and this is sometimes where we will find Indigos, Crystals and other souls like them. When I feel these souls, and also when I reflect on my own ongoing journey and healing with regard to money, I feel the tug ‘o war between old conditioning that we have been raised by, old systems that are collapsing, and the arising desire to keep blowing up these systems so we can live in an economy that is gift-based and involves living in conscious community with shared resources. This writing today is mostly for those who feel as if money is an area they struggle with. It is VERY possible to be of these soul groups and NOT feel as if money is a challenging topic!

There is a reality to ground into when it comes to current financial systems in place, and then there is also a more desirous way of being and transacting in life and in relationships that is more nourishing, and that is not only a dream but is something we are actualizing right now – if we can begin to let that in. This is the place where I feel these unique soul groups seem to have a lot of struggle. There is still a need for money to some degree, and money itself, after all, is only a piece of our overall consciousness about love and exchange… our very personal relationship to it, is what makes it either come into our lives in abundance or keeps us feeling as if we are victims, always needing more of it and never seeming to get ahead. Choosing what it is we want to do with the money we have (i.e. what we want to invest it in) is actually an area where we have a lot of power.

 

We often have a rebellious streak that wants to avoid the whole thing of having to find financial stability to some degree in our lives, and also we may feel entitled to free help or services. I’ve definitely had a lot to feel around entitlement, wanting things to happen YESTERDAY and sometimes also wanting financial exchanges (like food and rent) to be WAY lower, if not free. I also leaned into birth family for a chunk of my early adulthood for financial help, which they felt obliged to give me at the time. During my healing process though, I was guided to end this cycle and start taking care of myself… that’s where my real growth started to take root, in more arenas than just this one. At some point, I had to choose to invest in myself in a deeper way. This is also where SoulFullHeart came in, and because I was choosing to invest deeply in ME and the timing was right to do so, the money for sessions just sort of worked itself out somehow and, because it was the right path for me, the growth was (and is) exponential and paying off in many, many ways.

 

Though part of me didn’t want to work anymore unless it had to do directly with my soul purpose work, it turned out that life was actually trying to show me that for a phase, I needed to have a regular job to offer me the healing I needed in order TO be able to fully inhabit my soul purpose work much later. The main gift of this, I am now realizing, was being able to land more in my much needed personal healing. I needed the grist of having a job (or several) in order to feel myself and parts of me more strongly, to have them pushed up to the surface by their different reactions so that I could feel and heal what I was being asked to during this phase.This also taught be how to navigate and flow with life while engaging in deep inner work. This created a profound lifestyle change that is still evolving today, right along with me. There is a bigger trust in life that I didn’t have back when this all first began, but in hindsight I can now understand it… I needed to trust deeper that if this is what life was showing me I needed to do, there would inevitably be something big in it for me. Perhaps one of the biggest gifts I can cultivate from having gone into the gift of every single job I’ve had as an adult, is that I can now digest it in writings like this one, with a desire to help you find your own way to more trust in the choices life is offering you (regardless of what soul group you belong to!). Finding stability is an act of self love and care. We may need to make choices that de-stabilize us for a phase too, but we ready ourselves for that by allowing ourselves to actually HAVE stability for a while, laying a healthy groundwork inside of ourselves to be able to find our way with sanity.

 

It’s easy as young people fresh out of university or college, to feel imprisoned by debt. There can be a lot of guilt around wanting to bail on it or maybe some self-image pieces around declaring bankruptcy because of it. I feel strongly like debt actually IS a prison sentence that we are ALLOWING to be real for us. It is another way to be distracted from our true healing and soul purpose work by feeling predominantly like victims to the systems we are trying to shift and change. Well, what I feel to be more and more true these days, is that these systems are already collapsing in on themselves, because they were always meant to. Love has already won. There is no real battle to fight here, we just have to find ways to climb out from under the rubble. Feeling angry or upset is so normal and expected and indeed, for phases we do need our outrage (I’m especially talking to Indigos here, feels like) in order to help move things along, yet, if you think about it, who is that outrage meant to ultimately serve, but YOU? Whatever, wherever it leads you to, it is the path you are choosing and the path you most need at this moment. Feeling knocked sideways by the realm of money, is a symptom of something inside of US that needs to be felt and healed. As we choose to go inward, the systems will be and ARE collapsing outward. Your outrage is a roadmap to your inner world of pain and desire, both, and you DO have an effect on the collective on different levels whether you decide to go in and heal or not…

 

This philosophy is so applicable to any area of our life where we feel we would like to experience more abundance or an easier flow. Going inward about it is where we can feel and experience our true power and alchemy. We are infinitely creative beings, all of us. Though it’s difficult to understand at times why we seem to be struggling to get ahead, especially if we are conscious at all about the HUGE souls we are and the importance of what we came here to do and lead, we must stop looking outside of us for answers, for we are literal packages of goodies and shadow, both, that need love and care to unpack. We are hardwired for being a part of the deconstruction and reconstruction of the changes going on in this world, and as such, we must be grounded by doing this from the inside, first and most importantly. ❤

 

So, sweet “love sponge” souls, try to soak up some self love this weekend… if this area of life really is a struggle for you, you can try journaling with a part of you who holds on to this struggle and needs YOU very much right now. If you wish to, you can try the following questions in your journaling…

 

What does “money” mean to you?
What would being “financially stable” mean to you?
If you have some reactions to Leena’s writing about money and finances, what are they?

 

Let me know if you ever have the desire for a session to help you digest this and other areas of your very sacred life!

 

Lots of love to you, loved ones…

 

Kalayna

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Money As An Exchange Of Love Energy: Conversations With Archangel Metatron

By Jelelle Awen

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“Money is energy. It is an exchange of energy and, in another way, it does not exist and is only as real as the perception that you project upon it and the way that you relate with it. It is not the root of all evil as fear of love is what roots in evil or darker frequencies ,” says Archangel Metatron in response to a question I asked him about the higher consciousness definition of money. I am letting into my field higher guidance and reflection from him about money as we are hosting a group call and guided meditation about it this Saturday, February 4th at 4:44pm CST.

 

“Yes, that has been my sense of money for many years,” I answer, smiling at him.
 
He smiles back at me and continues, “Third dimensional reality – with its dualistic frequencies of separation and lack – has projected these feeling tones onto money. To the 3D self, the perceived lack or abundance of money directly relates to the often subconscious sense of this inside of themselves.”
 
“When we feel ‘tight’ or ‘lacking’ about money, it represents feelings of scarcity about love in our lives….”
 
“Yes, Jelelle. When there is an inner sense of abundant flow of love with yourself, with Divine Source, with others….then money is felt to be abundant, no matter how much of it there actually IS in the bank account.”
 
I digest this as a deeper truth in the moment even though this has been a process ground of expansion for me over the years and in serving others, including coaching small business clients on how to think about the financial area of their businesses.
 
“In my experience and experience guiding others, the 3D self especially uses the ‘earning of money’ to stay in suffering loops, especially around putting their energy and focus into jobs that aren’t connected to their passion purpose or soul purpose work,” I say. “This can be a transitional phase for people…to move out of doing a job just for the money to receiving their livelihood from the expression of their deepest soul passion. It has been a transition for my mate Raphael and I that has taken many years. Should I tell that story?”
 
“Yes, please, Jelelle, I feel it would be helpful,” says Metatron, sending a wave of golden love my way. I take his love into my heart, feeling it infuse my ‘story’ with new frequencies of relevance and gratitude.
 
“I worked an ‘office job’ for many years to support my daughter and myself. There was usually some connection to my passion purpose in these jobs: as a medical assistant in a cancer center, as an editor and reporter for a small business journal, as a coach and manager for small business clients. Each job seemed to bring me a step closer to the embracement of my soul gift expression. As I started really focusing on my emotional healing and spiritual awakening process, I eventually became a facilitator of others, holding space for their exploration, while earning money to do this. I left the office job and ‘steady paycheck’ environment ten years ago and have not returned to it.”
 
Raphael ran a painting contracting business in the Vancouver area for thirty years and we both lived off of the income from that until a few years ago when we left our client base there to move to Mexico. Raphael went through many transitions around the business, which he will tell in his own story, I’m sure, yet there was always an open and conscious question for us about if our deepest soul purpose work could provide the means of our livelihood rather than the painting business. We were serving others through SoulFullHeart, earning money through space holding and selling our books, yet, also we made sometimes difficult choices in our lifestyle to support this transition. We moved into an RV, sold almost everything we owned twice, declared bankruptcy, and left Canada for Mexico where the cost of living is much less and you can grow your own food year-round.”
 
Metatron nods at me to continue, knowing that I am not one prone to ‘telling my story’ as it often doesn’t feel real to me anymore and may not have the juice that the present moment does.
 
“We have lived very simply since being here in Mexico. We lived off of the last of the painting money savings (including using it to buy a piece of land on an off-grid ranch where we can retreat to if needed) until it ran out. Then, Sequoia Heartman and Leena Colibri began to earn money teaching English online. Their earnings, in addition to what we bring in through sessions, books, and donations into SoulFullHeart, is what currently provides the livelihood for all four of us.”
 
“One of the biggest shifts in how I related to money came from sharing money as a community, pooling all of it from what we earn as individuals to be shared together, for the last few years. The amazing thing about this is that because of our ground of transparency and the SoulFullHeart process itself which is our mutual way of relating, we have been able to bring reactions and triggers to each other around this without any conflicts arising because of it. There has been very little tension about sharing the money with each other and the sense of gratitude around it flows freely between us all.”
 
“This IS wonderful, Jelelle! This is more the way that money and alchemy flows in fifth dimensional consciousness. The energy exchanges with others are based in good will, gratitude, and a personal sense of inner abundance. Coming from this place of open abundant heart tones, sharing is natural and there is a deep trust that whatever you give will come back to you and the Universe will provide for you.”
 
“Yes, and somehow, from this place, all the needs of each individual person get met through this exchange, Metatron. The deeper phase for us in this transition to fifth dimensional consciousness around money is for ALL of our money and alchemy flow to be coming from SoulFullHeart and its offerings. And to experience a deeper abundance of goodness and beauty related to our living spaces. We also feel that gift exchange with others, including others coming to live with us here in Mexico and sharing in and contributing to the community pool of money, is a key aspect to the fulfillment of our vision and our desires. We are all visualizing this during meditation, connecting with our guides like you around it, and continuing to focus on inner healing and expanded heart and soul consciousness. It is a journey in process for sure.”
 
“Your story invites others to feel what their journey is related to this transition from 3D consciousness around money to 4D awakening to 5D,” Metatron says. “And I invite them, in this moment, to feel where they may be associating lack of love or abundance in their lives with how they are experiencing their money flow. I invite them to feel how the ways they earn their livelihood is connected to their soul purpose gift expression and ways that it is not. I invite them to feel their deepest desires related to money flow, abundance, and external (and internal) experience of it. I invite them to feel how much trust they feel that the Universe will provide all that they need.”
 
“This is a powerful invitation, Metatron. It is one that we offer as well in exploration of this ground from a higher consciousness perspective while holding the space inside to feel all the reactions that come up in response to it!”
 
“That is a magical thing indeed and I look forward to supporting others in this journey!”
 
“Me too, Metatron….me too!”

~

Note: Please join us for our live group call on Saturday, February 4th in which Raphael and I will explore the alchemical ground of money, abundance, and soul purpose. A monetary donation is required and much appreciated as it serves the unionifying of your intention and energy with ours.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Premise 15: Our relationship to money can either be a source of suffering or freedom

By Raphael Awen

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Welcome to day 15 – Money Day – of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Fasten your seat belts. I just woke up from a great night in the Golden Earth Inn. Golden Earth is what I feel is another dimension, perhaps fourth or fifth to this three dimensional level. Hey, if what we are is energy, why not go energetically where you really want to be, and feel what you really want to feel? There’s a great Golden Earth Cafe to wake up to in the morning, nestled right amongst the trees in a Sequoia grove. Also, the students from the Golden Earth School are a real chatty bunch and are actually the best teachers and they are into this premise dialogue today.

The premise is called ‘The Money Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Our relationship to money (which is ultimately an illusion) can either be a source of suffering or freedom.”

First up, money itself isn’t your and my problem. The challenge with money is in our relationship to money. There’s a big difference there and a ton of freedom for you right there if you’re open to it.

Money is an external. Your relationship to money is an internal. The same can of course be said about so many things in life, and a heap of freedom can be found by exploring this same principle in all these areas. It’s not the thing itself that makes something helpful or a hindrance in your life, but your relationship to the thing that makes all the difference. And, I might add, how parts of you (or subpersonalities) relate to money is where the exploration about money gets very interesting and illuminating. Read here more about parts: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheart-subpers…

If we are here to learn and grow as souls in this ongoing discovery of Infinite Love in an infinite universe of infinite possibilities, then money is surely going to be one of our biggest classrooms. Most of us use and need money to buy the things we want and need. It’s as central to our lives as breakfast.

But, money isn’t real. Well, it’s real enough, okay, I’ll give you that. I’ll accept it if you give me some and all that. But essentially, on a deeper meta level, money isn’t real at all, as we think of it, and it’s important to feel this if we are going to shift our relationship to money. We humans made up money as simply a means of exchange. Then we all agreed to recognize it as such and voila, ‘We’re in the Money’ as the song goes.

But now we see why money holds us so spellbound, whether in its abundance or absence. Money is something we can’t live without, right? Well, yes and no. I’m physically not going to die tomorrow if I run out of money, but in all likelihood, I’m going to need to find some before too long to buy the things I need for life sustenance. If the love of money is the root of all evil, then I’m one evil guy because my mind is on money a lot. And so is yours, right?

But what is money then if it ultimately isn’t real? Well, we can say and pretty easily so, that money is energy. Everything in the universe is energy, even what we call matter and physical objects are all energy. And the ultimate source energy of the universe is love.

What money really is……..is simply love.

Now, we can see why we are collectively so crazy about it. None of us can or want to live without love. And we also have all kinds of scarcity and abundance reactions around love to that get projecting onto our ideas about money. And now, we can begin to see why it’s all about our relationship to money that makes all the difference rather than money itself.

Two years ago, Jelelle Awen and I left behind and retired from our primary source of income in my painting contracting business and decided to move along with Leena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman, to Mexico. Our combined net worth nest egg and available credit gave us enough to live modestly for a bit more than a year. I have earned about the equivalent in the last two years what I earned in an average few days of painting. Needless to say, there’s been a ton to feel and process around our relationship to money! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As that year of living off of a dwindling nest egg went by with no awareness of how we going to get any more money, there was plenty of anxiety to feel. It wasn’t crippling anxiety because of the work we had done previous in our relationship with money, but there was still anxiety. What I learned as I was spending this painting nest egg money that I earned in Canada was that the energy in that money itself had a lot of ‘fossilized’ anxiety in it. I was coming into more and more trust, and the anxiety was actually associated with the energy in the money itself and where and when and how it was earned.

When we reached the end of that money, life opened out magically in the form of Leena and then Sequoia finding teaching English gigs on line, and we are beginning to receive money donations for SoulFullHeart sessions. I’ve never been more ‘broke’ in my life and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in relationship to money!

I have desires for more, even plenty more, but I feel so much trust that whatever the universe brings me, it’s what I need for my growth. Last month a man who was interested in SoulFullHeart wanted to meet us and took us out to dinner at what was pretty much the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. Sitting there in my falling apart sandals after living off of the monthly budget of what I used to spend at Starbucks in a month was an almost overwhelming experience. I did go to tears at one point letting it in.

Okay, these Golden Earth students are a chatty bunch alright and they wanted me to go off on our story for a while.

But what’s your story around money? Does it feel like a source of suffering or freedom in your life?

What ‘you do for dollars’ or pesos, wants to be transmuted more and more by a feeling all there is to feel around your relationship to money, which ties into your deepest existential need for love? All of this shifts into less suffering and more freedom from the tyranny of money as you feel and heal your relationship to money.

If you give your greatest gifts into the world and you die because you couldn’t live off of it, would there be any better way to go? Really, I feel that is what we are all being invited to live into, to change more and more into living in a gift economy.

If I, or Jelelle can help you with any more of your personal transition around money and your relationship to it, I’d love to do that through sessions on Skype and the SoulFullHeart way of life. They are crazy affordable, at least when it comes to the cost of money!

“All you need is love, love….love is all you need!”

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 20: Letting Yourself Be Found By Love

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You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love. But, Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I’ve missed you.

W – Really?

Y – Hey man, I don’t get many takers for what I have to offer. Most can’t take in the message even if they feel they want it.

W – So what is your central message, Yeshua? I’ve been focusing on your message about currency lately, but is there something else you feel is more urgent or needed?

Y – My central message has always been that you are sacred. You are inescapably and hopelessly a part of the Divine. People get excited about me, but what gets me excited is them and their potential, their awakening to their divinity. But from here, my message flows to what’s current. That’s my current-see.

W – Tell me your current-see.

Y – The entire world has entered a huge birth canal in the midst of a great dying. If you can locate yourself as a sacred part of this reality, then you can find meaning and value and safety in the midst of the deepest and swiftest changes humanity has ever collectively witnessed.

W – This is so much more than I bargained for, part of me wants to say…

Y – I get that, and it’s your job to hold that part of you, because how you hold that part of you determines if you are part of what’s being born or a part of what is dying.

W – You get so serious, so fast, Yeshua.

Y – I’m not as serious as I sound actually, in the way you tend to hold seriousness. Death is, in the big picture, in my picture, all a part of life, all too often though with unnecessary suffering. But suffering isn’t something to avoid. Suffering is something to go through. Suffering isn’t suffering.

W – Suffering isn’t suffering???

Y – Not in the way you’ve related to it. Suffering is movement, not static, unmoveable pain. People who avoid their suffering are of all men, most miserable.

W – I like that. That really feels like a guiding light piece, Yeshua. Find the courage to feel our suffering and be moved by it, be changed by it, see where it takes us.

Y – Suffering as part of your personal currency, your personal power. To suffer is to surrender to the birth, not to enter immovable pain.

W – So then, why are we afraid of our own power?

Y – Your own power always takes you to new places. It’s natural for you to be unsure of the new place. It is a fearful thing to complete a life or a phase of life and enter a new one.

W – So we try and settle for the appearance of a static world, where things don’t change.

Y – And all of that energy only serves to propel the changes even faster. You are in life. You chose it. You chose change. That’s baked in the cake. Whether you enjoy this cake or not has to do with how you relate to it.

W – I know I sure want to feel more at home in this great change. Parts of me definitely feel anxious about the outcome.

Y – You can’t BE in the outcome though, so you can’t experience love and true security when you are not present in the moment. It’s in the moment, as in right now and in right now only that you can feel loved and held. Then from there, you can feel secure in knowing that whatever the future brings, you will access love when you get there. Does that help?

W – Yeah,…so when I’m out of the moment, where am I?

Y – You have placed yourself temporarily out of the experience of love’s reach, where pain doesn’t have any traction to move or take you somewhere.

W – So then, I’m actually more afraid of having love than I am afraid of not having it.

Y – People will do anything to escape love, tone it down, manage it, control it.

W – I get that. Now you’ve made curious about what embracing love would look like?

Y – And that my friend, can’t be put into words, it can only be felt.

W – Better felt than telt, the preacher used to say.

Y – Feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – But if you were to try to put it into words, what would you say?

Y – I knew that was coming. I’ll give it a try, as long as you don’t substitute it for the real thing.

W – I’m down with that.

Y – Knowing and feeling love is the point of all life. All of life is a seeking to know love. Even love’s seeming absence and vacuum is giving place to love’s arising. Your cells are programmed for love. You ache for love. You fear love’s loss. You are a love creature. Anytime you can let in love, and lessen your restriction of love’s flow in your heart and life, you experience essence.

W – Letting in love. That’s such a big contrast to the picture that we are out seeking love.

Y – You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love, but Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

W – I want to let love find me and never stop finding me.

Y – That’s why you chose to be here at this time. Let your life as you know it now be rooted and grounded in the great death and rebirth. Give what needs to die to the death and what needs to be reborn to the birth. This is the greatest moment of opportunity that humanity has ever witnessed.

W – And our money stuff sorts itself out from there.

Y – Totally. Most of the time, people embrace lesser challenges as a way to hide their hiding from love. But when you let yourself be found by love, everything you create and give energy to is transformed by love’s lodging in you.

W – I get now why I need days between our conversations. You’re a lot to take in.

Y – Just lessen up some on hiding from love, and you should be fine.

W – I’m gonna test drive that today.

Y – Give it a whirl, man. Love and feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – My god! You’re so welcome!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 19: Money Is Actually Chasing You

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You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest and stillness. Being, rest and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you, you were not meant to seek money.

Wayne – Bit of an emergency meeting here, Yeshua, if we can.

Yeshua – Of course we can. What’s up?

W – I know we said we were going to wrap or pause our series on money in order to integrate all that we covered already, and it’s only been a few days, but I miss you….

Y – I miss you too…

W – And I feel a bit of a panic, a small panic, as Jillian and I looked at our money situation yesterday, some new bills came into the picture and it feels tight inside again.

Y – How can I help?

W – I always feel lately how it’s mostly an old conditioning coming from a part of me that is wrestling with what gets kicked up around a money pressure. I’m glad to feel less fusion and more separation between me and that feeling. That helps a lot. But I still want to help this part of me not suffer so much in the journey I’m taking in making choices and changes that directly affect our money flow. I also feel to transparent this too for others who resonate to follow.

Y – Hmmmm…

W – I also want to have more clarity and guidance for any actions that I need to be taking.

Y – What comes to me first is something I’ve learned from you actually.

W – Really, I could use a reminder.

Y – Anything that you encounter in life that triggers a strong feeling reaction simply needs to be felt. Having a feeling felt instead of just having a feeling is the digestion and healing point.

W – Don’t let me stop you…

Y – Let’s go personal instead of mental.

W – Okay.

Y – Tell me what does the money tightness feeling feel like for this part of you?

W – Well, It feels tight, …squeezed, like some of the goodness of life as we know it is seriously threatened to be taken away. The things that I/we like and feel attached too, especially after all the downsizing we’ve recently done. There’s a fear of being forced into difficult or hard circumstances.

Y – Can you just enter the room of this part of you who still feels these reactions and just be in its reality to actually feel this fear, the textures of it, the powerlessness of it, the hurt and pain of the threat of loss? Can you do that right now?

W – As I just let in this parts’ reality to have real time entry into my consciousness and not to be suppressed by any other part of me who would medicate that pain down, I can feel how the powerless feeling is actually connected to my powerful feeling. I can feel a digestion and a moving of the intensity. It’s been moving some overnight, but I needed to be with it consciously and with your input. I can feel this part of me opening out into trust and relaxation and also an arising empowerment.

Y –  This is the real work, Wayne. Chasing money to support a lifestyle that’s been constructed to keep anyone too busy to feel is just that….a medication to not feel. Working for money is a wimp’s way, someone who has been disempowered to navigate their feelings, their choices, and their life.

W – I’m liking the feeling of what you are saying, but I need a contrasting statement to help me fully embrace it. What would an empowered picture look like?

Y – Choosing to be in life where feeling is job number one reconstructs and deconstructs your lifestyle into movement towards your authentic self’s reason and true purpose for being in life. You do the feeling……life and the divine and your authentic self will bring you the choice points and movements that it has been aching for you to take. You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest, and stillness. Being, rest, and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you; you were not meant to seek money.

W – Money was meant to find me…

Y – Money was meant to be a means of value exchange. If you are giving your best value to life itself, life is going to keep short accounts and keep them settled. Money is just a handy way of exchanging value. Now money has been so invested with unfelt feelings of scarcity and powerlessness that its utility as a value exchange is being greatly reduced. But all of that is a collective death and rebirth of what having a life really is.

Y – There’s been so much work ethic piled on to the false structures around money that most are simply too busy to feel and be. Life is relentless though in its invitation to feel and be regardless of the stage of anyone’s disconnect.

W – Wow, so being and feeling is what wins out.

Y – You’ve certainly witnessed this time and time again.

W – I know, but old conditioning is done when it’s done I find.

Y – Feel the leading edge of your being holding and feeling the farthest reaches of your trailing edge. Nothing is more rewarding work. Nothing sorts out your relationship to money like it.

W – I think that gives me the Yeshua juice I needed today.

Y – That was easy.

W – You say so much in one way and so little in another, and somehow it all feels held and addressed.

Y – All part of living an earning.

W – Living an earning…?

Y – I live what I’ve earned. I keep doing the heart and feeling work. It rewards me with a consciousness and ability to be in life in surprising ways, and gives me plenty of goodies to trade to get my needs met too.

W – WWYD?

Y – WWWD.

W – 🙂

Y – 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 18: Pressed Out Of The Nest

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Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning.

W – Yeshua, I’m wondering if we’ve covered where we needed to go for now, as in pausing soon?

Y – I can definitely feel you digesting a whole bunch and shape-shifting your way into this.

W – I can too. I have an internal experience of a man being between two worlds at times.

Y – How is that for you?

W – Well, it’s a tension for sure. I feel my old orientation and conditioning towards life and money arise, but it’s like an elevator that doesn’t reach the top like it used to. I feel impulses to act in certain directions and then I feel an acknowledgment that I just don’t have the same energy for the particular undertaking,…am I making any sense?

Y – I’m tracking…so what happens next?

W – Well, I rest and breathe some more, which might be busy and active in some ways, but I let the itch bake a while longer. In this new reality, I feel a good kind of rest and peace particularly in the rearview mirror, but looking ahead is where the tension still comes up.

Y – And then there’s what’s actually happening in the present, that you aren’t efforting or orchestrating to your conscious mental knowledge, but YOU are taking the tension of the unknown, insecurities, taking them into your heart where they are transmuted into your soul purpose and calling.

W – I feel that’s true, and yet I feel I want more of that in my conscious reality. Trusting it. Resting in it.

Y – You always want more. I like that about you,… a lot. But I need to remind you of the need to do the outbreath too where you let in the growth you’ve already experienced.

W – An outbreath in order to make room to let in.

Y – Our whole discussion around a new reality in currency and money is one that arises in you and it only grounds into your or anyone else’s life by living their way into it, from the ground of their life as they know it now, including their money circumstances and all of their conditioning around money. It wouldn’t have any traction if it wasn’t being lived into consciousness. That includes feeling the pressure and conflict between an emerging consciousness pressing against an old conditioning. This pressure point, and it living in you, is where the alchemy of change is occurring. It includes then a willingness to feel the part of you who feels powerless as you move towards deeper engagement with your true power. You’ve proven that willingness, Wayne. It’s felt a bit lonely, but that loneliness is the alchemy of leadership that creates the space for others to join in.

W – Okay, that touched me, hearing that last part. Thank you.

Y – Wayne, in your heart, you know you have touched, felt, tried and proven a way of living that is new, alive and aches for its reality to land in others’ hearts. That doesn’t change when you feel an anxiety arise or a pressure point from your older consciousness. Am I right?

W – A hundred percent, …most of the time. 🙂

Y – Being THAT, in real life, however that looks or manifests, but simply letting it continue to manifest in the way that it wants to, by facing all of your choice points, by feeling all there is to feel, and by pausing to appreciate the ground you’ve covered is what takes you to your destiny, which incidentally is figuring itself out too as you go. This is the human experience. This is the real human currency……..the point of being here. The exchanges and transactions inside of you are filled with abundance, appetite, and satisfaction. They then in turn shape and recreate the transactions outside of you, with others. That’s the new economy.

W – I like everything you just said, but I feel an undercurrent of being kicked out of a nest, the nest of our dialogue, and being pressed back into my life.

Y – Kicked?

W – Okay, that came from a more fearful and afraid place. Pressed is more accurate.

Y – Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

W – Which is…?

Y – What is it to you, Wayne?

W – It is being in a place where I feel myself continually being remembered back into love, feeling and knowing embrace, comfort and peace. Deep self love, deep God love, deep love with others.

Y – That’s a pretty good description of the real energy and need underlying everyone’s relationship with money. The need is so profound that left unsatisfied, it turns up the shit of greed. Both the need and the greed though point us back to our shared essence which is being at home in love.

W – Where we can never be homeless or go without.

Y – Where even if you lacked shelter, or went hungry, you wouldn’t ever doubt that you were and are loved and deeply cared for, and that every experience that came into your life is guiding you to more of your real you.

W – And an experience that I needed, and that my soul chose, and Okayed….

Y – Yup.

W – Feels like a solemn ending, or pause place for us.

Y – All of this includes light and fun for sure, but heart open and solemn choice and guts is required. It feels like a good note to conclude on or pause on for now, because anyone’s embrace of this is a point of deep choice. Life always brings around choice points, It’s up to us to check the bus schedule and show up.

W – Thank you, Yeshua, for showing up so exquisitely for this series together.

Y – Let’s find other shit to talk about soon.

W – Totally!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 17: You don’t go through money; Money goes through you

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Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Yeah, good morning to you. You seem to like mornings.

W – Always have for some reason.

Y – Are you feeling any better?

W – Yes, I so am. It’s back to the gym today and chasing Jillian.

Y – Sweet, I’m glad for you. Illness may actually be a good thing, but it’s also a good thing to be done with.

W – Not a clue where we might go today, but feeling so juiced from our recent conversations, I thought I’d check in, connect, and see again where we might end up.

Y – I love how we are approaching this, freeform, feeling, following after desire. If you feel your desire today, what does it tell you?

W – I feel its appetite whetted by all that we’ve opened out and I feel an impatience too to embody deeper what we’ve been discussing. There’s a definite impatience created by our dialogue. Part of me looks at my way with my currency and my relationship with money and judges that I am part of the old and part of the new. That part wants to expedite the getting rid of the old.

Y – Yeah, I so get that feeling too. Desire and impatience is prodding and pressing while nature says, I’ll be done when I’m done. All movement in your life is sacred, and movement needs the old as part of the picture. And you need the space to feel how the old held you, was such a deep part of you, what it gave to you. All of that is part of the precipitation of letting go and letting arise what is so powerfully and naturally and unstoppably arising in you by virtue of your desire and permission. This is actually the magic you crave to be in. It’s right now. It doesn’t need a future picture to be valid.

W – Back to that sunglasses thing where we need to dim the power and goodness of the moment because it’s too much to bear…..

Y – If your greatest need is love and there is no shortage of that love, then something else must be at play that creates the picture of your needs not being met, and fear of loss.

W – We choke on abundance. I so get that, Yeshua. We’ve created a money system it seems to reinforce this false reality of scarcity upon ourselves in our every exchange. But why would we do such a thing?

Y – If love really is so vast and fulfillment so infinite, then any deeper level of its experience also lets in a capacity to feel its absence.

W – But you said it’s not absent in reality?

Y – But you only long for what you haven’t yet embodied. You know something more is there, you open yourself to it, you grant it permission to enter your life and then you wait as it at arises more desire and process and movement in you. Its absence is self created and so is its manifesting presence.

W – Wow, Yeshua, I guess I’m just a bit of a change hog. I like change, and I can, of course, feel where I resist it too and fear it actually.

Y – Being in this tension between two is the sweet spot of being in life with desire and love holding you in what can feel like an insanity. You feel the old tugging on you as you enter new territory of your souls’ essence.

W – So what would currency and money look like, Yeshua, that was created in this new arising territory?

Y – Asking for a definitive prophetic picture of what the future will look like can be a resistance to letting the magic of the process simply take you there. Many aspects of that picture will only be known as they are known. It doesn’t begin with knowing where you are going as in having a map to guide you there. You are going somewhere undiscovered and unmapped.

W – We’ll know it when we see it?

Y – You’re knowing it internally, by feeling it and moving with the flow of your life’s calling and purpose. That gives you a signature sense of ‘this is that’ in the moment.

W – Sounds like real adventure.

Y – Totally and now that I’ve made my point of being in the unknown, there are some knowns we can speak of.

W – I’m all ears.

Y – Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

W – Complete with really good bowel movements.

Y – Life moving through you instead of you moving through life.

W – Whoa, that thought and feeling keeps expanding and expanding.

Y – Yeah, if you’re looking for a map, that’s probably the best one I could give you.

W – Man, you’re hot.

Y – Life moves through me.

W – Life wants to move through me today.

Y – That should help with the patience conundrum too. Having life move through you is fulfilling regardless of what perceived stage you may be at.

W – Is there a similar statement we could say about money?

Y – Let’s see: …Currency is something that moves through you instead of……..help me out here, Wayne

W – Currency is something that wants to move through me instead of something …currency wants to increase its flow through me….hmmm

Y – How about this: You don’t go through money. Money goes through you.

W – Bingo. That got it.

Y – I’m hot stuff.

W – You’re sexy and you know it.

Y – I know what’s moving through you. Better go find yourself some.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 16: Accepting The Terms Of Life As Change And Metamorphosis

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In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – I feel a desire to connect again with you today though I’m a bit ‘under the weather’, as we say.

Y – Where would you like to go?

W – I’ve been feeling my resilience to sickness for most of my life. I only got a cold every few years it seemed and then only a mild one. I was kind of proud of it. I figured it had to do with my self employment thing. No one else is going to show up for me. It had a passion and strength about it for sure, but now I’m not so sure of how I had it all wired up. I had a money urgency behind it all too.

Y – What feels different now?

W – Now I’m feeling how when the body calls for downtime and enters what we call a sickness that this is actually a sacred movement of the body, that we either surrender to, or resist, or even negotiate for something in between.

Y – How could I help?

W – I’m curious about your perspective on illness. I feel a big tie to that around our personal currency, but I can’t get to the deeper perspective on it.

Y – Nature’s forces are seen as opposing when really they are the gift of all life to us. An earthquake that destroys a city and takes many lives is actually a huge gift of cleansing and metamorphosis and change. Life never offered to anyone any guarantee of safety. Only false life structures promise guarantee in this way. People who are set on only partially being in life seek out false assurances of safety and play victim to and set up an oppositional relationship to nature.

W – It’s hard to feel a huge and sudden loss of life as a gift.

Y – In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract this life, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

W – It seems like money and currency is all about the security and safety side of things. If I get the money, then I can be in life in this more adventurous way. Maybe then I  will express my deeper gifts.

Y – When really life is asking you every day ‘Why are you here?’ ‘What do you really want?’ and ‘when will you reach for it?’ The anemic and false and safety oriented self seeks to hold life in a safety pattern where life can be expected to look tomorrow like it looks today.

W – Which makes it kind of interesting then how I did decades of engaged self employment largely escaping even cold symptoms for so long.

Y – The pursuit of safety can look very passionate and engaged. You had this ‘I will overcome nature itself’ kind of resolve to you which was admirable to many, but now you are moving to a place of moving with nature instead of being in resistance to it.

W – What does being in life on nature’s terms look like? Can you say more?

Y – Well, it’s really about feeling this piece about surrender to change. As you let that in and are present to it, that creates a reverence for the opportunity that is in this moment, whether it be a seed time, harvest, or anything before or between those. The money systems we’ve created were an attempt to overcome the cycles of nature, to find a domain where continual harvest could occur, where metamorphosis is overcome.

W – Even in this moment, I can feel my brain only engaging so far with the symptoms in my body. Even receiving what you are saying feels a bit foggy, but I felt I wanted to connect with your energy from this place too, to feel what’s real.

Y – What’s real, Wayne, is that life itself moves you. You don’t need to make life work.

W – I sure related to my money world as one big efficiency game. An efficiency of my body’s energy, staying healthy in order to produce more; my psyche efficiency, liking what I am doing and being liked by the people hiring me. Where it lost ground for me though was feeling how I was more and more overcoming something, fighting something. I had it all wrapped up in a feeling of ‘I just need to get ahead.’

Y – I just need to get ahead of what?

W – I just need to get ahead of the demand.

Y – What demand?

W – The demand of the bills. Whether the literal bills in the mailbox, or the bills of keeping up with maintaining my self image to the people in my life.

Y – What if part of you made up that demand as one big negotiated way of being in life?

W – I so get that. But why? Is it really all about safety?

Y – Being in life is being embodied. Embodiment is the acceptance of having needs and wants. Feeling your vulnerability to your needs and wants is being alive. Responding to your needs and wants is alive, and surrender to being in life. Making an enemy of these needs and wants is the fundamental offer in your money systems. I will get enough money so that my needs and wants won’t be an issue.

W – But needs and wants aren’t comfortable in the deadness of false guarantee, so they make themselves ever larger is how it seemed to me.

Y – Till an earthquake rumbled through to address the imbalance.

W – So, Yeshua, what does the new world look like then of surrender to my needs, having meaningful and fulfilling exchanges, coming out from under the yoke of safety and guarantee?

Y – If I described it adequately, would that make you willing to buy into it some more?

W – Well, a sales brochure wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?

Y – The offer, the magic, the result, the fulfillment, the meaning, the orgasm of it all is offered to you and anyone in any moment of your choosing. Connecting with the vulnerability of your real needs and wants brings you to the place where your divinity and humanity are not at odds. The experiences that arise from here profoundly and cumulatively change the trajectory and conditioning of your life at a rate and pace that you can self lovingly bear. Each person will need their own confirmation of that and it’s their birthright to have that.

W – Mine by right of my birth. I like that. I’d like to have my needs tied more and more to that, than to the false treadmill that I gave so much of my life to.

Y – Life actually does promise safety or security, but its security and safety is rooted in the reality of feeling loved and held in the midst of never ending change, rather than an exemption from change.

W – Well, if this illness I’m in the midst of is helping to rewire me for that, then I accept the gifts it brings me.

Y – Many of life’s deepest gifts can only come to you in your stillness.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, I’m needing to rest now again.

Y – Thank you.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 15: Being Transparent About Your Inner Polarities

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What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Are you up for another round today?

Yeshua – I am if you are.

W – Well, it’s a full day of stuff to do, but I do feel a desire to hold our track. It’s so moving and changing me and everyone I know of that is following our dialogue is reporting profound shifts inside of them too.

Y – I like the seriousness with which you hold this, Wayne. I wouldn’t show up with my share for a half commitment. Half in, half out is the plague of our times.

W – I was minded to ask you about taxes and governments, but already I feel you moving in another direction.

Y – We’re often of the same mind, Wayne. Let’s go where we go. We may find they intersect powerfully.

W – You were saying about the plague of our times…….

Y – Yeah, half in-half out. Everywhere. Politicians want to soapbox about the common good of all that their system and values uphold, but many people can now smell the falseness a mile away and feel the part of them that feels opposite to what they are speaking. This is the dis-integrated self. It claims to be one, when it is in fact two or more opposites. This renders everything they do and say false. And of course they need to keep the curtains drawn and private for this house of cards self to maintain some level of crippled function. It’s the essence of corruption.

W – Okay, that’s a lot to digest right there, Yeshua…

Y – Only because you are so ripe with it, Wayne. You are. So many are. Whole societies are for that matter. The collective is shifting.

W – And I so feel the half in, half out thing as an erosion of our personal currency. Our word and our bond being one.

Y – What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

W – I think I’m tracking…well, I feel a whole bunch being tweaked in a few directions at the same time. Not sure which one to pick up on.

Y – You might say it comes down to the definition of impure……if we were to get a bit more mental here.

W – Please, my mental could use a leg up.

Y – Impure has been defined to mean of some lower moral quality from what is being agreed upon as morally superior. In the puritan tradition, a man had impure thoughts if he looked on a woman with sexual thoughts. Which was and is a major pretzel for that man’s cock. Wow. All of the big three reigning religions share this same cock in a knot way of life.

W – It hurts when you just say that. Ouch.

Y – What impure is really about is a substance claiming to be one substance when it is in fact two or more. The fault is not the two or more part. The fault, or the falseness, is the claim that it’s only one when it’s in fact more than one. The falseness is the hiding.

W – Suppressing some essence of who I am, especially the things that feel incongruent, that I haven’t reconciled, where both sides of the ledger can’t find a balance…

Y – Brings up two sets of books. One book for the half in part and one book for the half out part. Both parts remain at war with the other and suffer as there is no one at home to make reconciliation of the two.

W – When I feel it, it feels like all the suffering in my life could be summed up in what you just said.

Y – And it doesn’t take much to see how money is just a playout of this deep and pervasive split between our humanity and our divinity, between our essence and our image. Money and how it works will naturally just trail effortlessly behind us reflecting our inner movements. It’s just another agreement, a working hypothesis if you will for what we are currently experimenting with. We’re just about done with an entire phase of consciousness. Whole new things are about to be coined into consciousness.

W – But it’s a bit of a major hell in the meantime, Yeshua, wouldn’t you say? You seem…

Y – A bit out of touch with the reality on the ground?

W – To part of me, yes.

Y – See right there, you got an opportunity to bring your half in and half out reality to what I’m saying. You like it, but you don’t.

W – Part of me buys in deeply and resounds with a yes, but I can so feel a part of me, going ‘but, but……..’

Y – That’s the transformation right there. It’s about no longer needing to parade around as one.

W – With my cock in a knot.

Y – Exactly. Even sexuality and gender is not one but two. Polarity creates attraction. Sameness creates boredom. You are not one until you are. The pressure comes off when the efforts to hide and cloak are abandoned. Transparency is your friend and saviour.

W – That feels like the price of admission right there.

Y – Now, back to this part of you who’s saying a ‘get real’ to all of this. First, thank you for your truth. Don’t ever play pretend of going along with something when you aren’t. You will only hurt and harm in the process. The painful reality on the ground you mention needs to be seen in the context of the soul’s journey and humanity’s journey into knowing and discovering itself. Pain and death from a soul’s perspective are not what they feel like to the human playing victim to being embodied as a human. The soul will gladly give its life as it knows it never dies, but only moves its essence through inextinguishable realities seeking to know itself and make the return to love. Every single one of you are expending your life as we speak. It’s about the consciousness you bring to that expense that makes for a different experience that transforms suffering into growth and abundance.

W – We’ve avoided our suffering at all costs.

Y – …putting your money into a bag with holes.

W – Can you help tie this into my tax and governments query?

Y – It’s the great shift I am speaking to that is bringing to light a corruption that has been there all along. As souls, you are no longer willing to give the amount of effort that you did before to the hiding. The shit that is hitting the fan is a long and negotiated allowance for the worlds to now collide. In the playout of that, there is personal choices to make and to negotiate that that feel big, but it really boils down to a choice to keep bringing forth your own reconciliation to all parts of yourself that you discover along the way. One system letting go makes way for the new one to arise. Civilizations have risen and fallen since the beginning of time. Come into the civility of your own heart and let the collective reflect its own discoveries. The collective is now about to be following the individual, instead of the other way around that it’s been up till now. It should be pretty cool to watch unfold.

W – Corruption, reconciliation, impurities, transparency as my saviour…wow.

Y – And the end of the hiding.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – You’re welcome Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 14: Joining The Wild Cult Of The Life You Haven’t Yet Known

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Feeling something as something you need to keep up with, as if it depends on you to make happen, is just a common form of resistance, making the case to justify keeping things the same. It’s joining the wild cult of the life you haven’t yet known and leaving the tame cult of safe predictability and calibrated boredom and managed deadness.

Taming that wild is about managing my fears without knowing my tears. I am as unknowable as the divine, both aching to partner in never ending discovery.

Wayne – You’re a lot to keep up with, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Am I going too fast?

W – That’s hard to say actually. I’ve been a maniac for growth and learning this life, but when I hang with you, it goes kind of wild….on overdrive.

Y – Wild, I like that word…

W – Yeah, it’s like there’s this background feeling of not knowing where the controls are or being able to predict what’s coming next. I can feel a part of mine’s life navigation system on a bit of a reboot, …again.

Y – I like what you’ve said about ‘manageable nervous breakdowns.’ Is this one of those?

W – When I take that in mentally, and feel all we’ve been discussing around money and our security and currency in the world, it so gets to the bedrock of our being. Sometimes it rumbles, sometimes melts, and it eventually causes collapses in our way of being in the world.

Y – And it always aligns with real life relationships and situations. That’s the way it gets grounded. People who didn’t think they had much relationship with synchronicity always get tickled with the ‘you can’t make this shit up’ experiences that start picking up in their lives.

W – I love that. I love seeing it in myself and witnessing it unfolding for others. It makes me feel less crazy.

Y – Everyone’s life is this really cool story, wanting to unfold, but the main character always has a say in the rate and pace of the unfolding. Most people though are so deep in their state of half-life that they aren’t even ready to begin to accept that about their lives.

W – So their lives are…

Y – …a carefully managed set of knowns carefully held in place to keep life from moving in its fuller ranges. Tamed.

W- That’s a lot of care…

Y – And it’s a losing battle ultimately, no matter how well heeled it looks. Life is by nature wild and spring loaded to bring us our growth, again and again and again.

W – What is it, Yeshua, that creates that significant move for people to change the trajectory of their lives…….where they move from resisting life to letting in their bounty?

Y – That’s such a big question, Wayne. I wonder about it too. I like the space the question itself creates in me, because I ask how I may be right now tripping on some aspect of widening life. And if life is ever widening, then I am in the same boat as everyone. The only thing I can claim is that I’ve done a few more rounds. But for most people, well, really for all of us, I’d say it has to do with simply being done with a phase of learning. Something seems to pop out of no where. It really is unstoppable at this point because the soul has negotiated all the resistances around it. It’s what you’ve been going through personally and globally too. Did that answer your question?

W – Not really…

Y – Good, then my answer didn’t diminish or satisfy the question. Why don’t you share an example or two from your own life…quester?

W – Why do you want me to share?

Y – Because I feel you need to.

W – Why?

Y – Because, Mr. staller, you can hide your light behind our magical conversation and wait around for something, which ends up being a resistance to your own bigness, pausing for more favorable weather.

W – Okay. I’ll try to do this without that hiding tone. I feel some reaction about storytelling as I set out, that overindulging thing that bores people.

Y – That energy comes from where people haven’t been able to feel themselves and are asking to be felt without being direct about it. That isn’t you, my friend.

W – Okay. Here goes. My life has been the most surprising turn of events since just over 8 years ago, when I made what appeared to be an out of the blue shift. I told my wife of 23 years that I wasn’t willing to remain in our bond. I told my astonished Christian pastor who came shortly to visit that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour. I told my best friend whose mother died that same week that I wanted to end the false aspects of our connection, and that I wouldn’t be attending the funeral. I was so done with something, an entire lifetime of investment, and really, in many ways, I was surprised more than anyone in my life. Life gave me a definite going on place at the same time and I was travelling once a month for a ten hour drive to what only looked like I’d joined some cult. And of course, I’d done just that in another way. I switched cults. Cults are what we sign up for everyday and just aren’t willing to admit. Three years later, the leader of that cult, who I esteemed more than any man on the planet, sent me packing. I managed to rob the vault just before I left though, and taunted him with it too. Jillian and I connected. Another huge soul journey place of moving on. It took a series of clearing the decks, being in the ‘emptiness,’ and letting life again move me, move me through my wounding. One of my biggest achievements in this life is being fluid with my own tears. I went through deep phases of deep tears. They weren’t victim’s tears of powerlessness, but transformative tears of feeling my real pains and layer after layer of false ways of relating in life letting go. I felt the pains of every part of me that naturally came up for me. I was finally big enough to feel. This all of course was held by continuing to make emotionally conscious choices in all of my relationships in life, even so far as not being a part of my two daughters’ weddings, or even in their lives at present. I guess you could say that my currency doesn’t flow between us, at least not transactionally right now. I know my heart and soul has deep love for them and feels at rest and peace with what, to most, feels like a completely crazy choice, given the good man and exemplary father that I was. Many times, Yeshua, it was simply finding the courage to say no to what I knew I wasn’t. That wasn’t slamming and locking a door to relationships, it was a new boundary, along with a door, yes, but with an invitation and an unlocked door is how I’d say it. I left the cult of unconditional love and entered the one of conditional love. All you need to be in my life is to be curious about me and willing to see me for who I am now, and then we can find our way whatever that way may be. How’d I do?

Y – That was a pretty good run, Wayne. I so feel and honor every part of you that you’ve felt through deep tears. There’s an undeniable substance to that, a power, a fwump in the third and fourth chakra that is undeniable. I get why you’d have some difficulty figuring where to point that loaded heart shotgun. Remember when I said that piece about not hiding your light under a bushel basket or that a city on a hill cannot be hid?

W – Yeah, I sure do…

Y – That’s the ‘a lot to keep up with’ feeling you’re going through at the moment. All you need to do is find new permission, willingness. You don’t need to keep up with anything or make anything happen. Feeling something as something you need to keep up with, as if it depends on you to make happen, is just a common form of resistance, making the case to justify keeping things the same. It’s joining the wild cult of the life you haven’t yet known and leaving the tame cult of safe predictability and calibrated boredom, and managed deadness.

W – Hehehe, so I can either manage my nervous breakdowns or manage my deadness?

Y – What would you say about that?

W – This gets again to the bedrock currency of my life. My natural state is wild. Taming that wild is about managing my fears without knowing my tears. I am as unknowable as the divine, both aching to partner in never ending discovery. I will if you will…. I will if you won’t. I will through you. Thy will be done. My will be done. Both sacred.

Y – So what is your will choosing right now?

W – I knew you weren’t quite done….hmmm, right now I am choosing to say yes to arising choices and circumstances with a yes to my own bigness, an acknowledgment of my own bigness, my call to lead, and a surrender to my own followers, those who authorize and certify me to serve their sovereign being with the things I’ve learned and earned.

Y – That’s getting pretty clear, Wayne. Clearer than I‘ve ever heard you. Get ready for more them ‘you can’t make this shit up’ synchros. You are aligning your life with an essential wild flow of nature itself. Life extends that offer to everyone by virtue of their life. To anyone who wants to and is willing, I say ‘come.’

W – You’re still a lot to keep up with, Yeshua.

Y – Don’t project that onto me, man. I need today just to get ready for you again.

W – You might need two. 🙂

Y – I just might. I have all the time in the world.

W – I’m with you.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.