Tag: By Raphael Awen

DAY 14 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

This is Day 14 of my ongoing series: ‘Journal To The Demiurge’. The Demiurge is better known as the Christian God, Yahweh or Jehovah. This series is an ambassadorship attempt at connecting with the Demiurge involving parts of myself, aspects of my Metasoul, my guides, as well as you, the readers; the growing posse of hearts.   

In today’s entry, we hear from Animalea, my feminine aspect who shares her feeling waves of heart bond with Sophia, the Divine Feminine as it lives in her. All of this is in preparation to initiate contact with the Demiurge himself, which feels like it is about to happen soon. Stay tuned.

I also especially invite you to track this series from the beginning if it calls you, so you can be a part of this ‘posse of hearts’ forming to support this undertaking. It may go down in history and herstory both!  To see the entire series, go  here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is Day 14:

Raphael: Good Morning everyone. I’d like to call us back to order, whatever our version of order is. I know it’s been several days since we last met, but it felt like we needed digestion space with some recent life movements and shifts that I suspect all have to do with this intention to meet and connect with the Demiurge.

I want to invite each of you back into this full presence of sacred space with intention and desire. Thank you. I can feel each of you arising.

Animalea, we left off last day with you getting ready to share the story of Sophia, and the sacred feminine. How are you feeling about that?

Animalea: I feel ready, Raphael. I trust the space and each of your open hearts. I did say I was going to brush up on the story, but that ended up feeling way too mental, and I instead came to where I am now, feeling to simply open my heart and simply share to see what comes.

Raphael: I’ve really been waiting to hear you share this piece. I felt you moving through that inner dilemma of preparing your thoughts versus just opening your heart and allowing what wants to come in the moment, which in itself feels like a masculine-feminine dance.

Animalea: Now, I’m curious about what will come out. My conscious mind will find out the same time yours does.

Raphael: That feels perfect. This entire journey to meet with the Demiurge was intuitive guidance and surrender to a process. Both of those feel so feminine to me, with the masculine energy of choice and intention coming alongside.

I felt to presence one more piece before you do that though, Animalea. It feels like what you share may tie in with this piece somehow. The piece I have been feeling is a question of this whole quest, I guess is how I’d say it. The questions arise at this midpoint of the journey, ‘do I, do we really want to make this connection with the Demiurge?’ I feel some internal quandary wondering if we will even gain contact with him. Maybe you can help me feel this, Metatron, would you?

Metatron: Good Morning, Raphael. We can feel anything!

Raphael: You feel a little more upbeat than I do at the moment. Let’s go with that though. Any idea what I, or another part of me, is sorting through here?

Metatron: This feels like a rumble moving through each of us, Raphael. I can feel a place even in myself that feels ‘why not just let sleeping dogs lie?’

Raphael: Exactly, and then there’s this question of having a bunch of bravado about being known as the first to ascend Everest or something like that. Somehow, that’s not enough ducks in a row for me is what I’m feeling.

Metatron: It feels like the sobriety of what we are intending and continuing to do is settling in on us all. We are about to meet with what I know to be one of the darkest energies that has held so many for so long in a suppressive energy. We do need to search our hearts and come fully into our hearts as the only safe place. I do also feel that we wouldn’t have been given this guidance and togetherness were it not for a readiness in the Demiurge. Something big is moving in him and has been for some time. If nothing can be outside of love, then that includes the Demiurge. If that’s true, then us seeking to meet with him is love seeking out love, even if it is about as polarized as it can get at the same time.

Raphael: That helps a lot, Metatron. Thank you. I feel you have something to add, Merlin.

Merlin: Thank you, Raphael. Thank you, Metatron. Thank you for what’s brewing in you, Animalea. I’m getting my heart ready to feel that this morning, and I’m feeling that will address us right where we are at, questions and all. I’m feeling I would just like to take us all to a higher vibrational place, up a few floors to a space of beautiful white light, where everything is light, each of us, the space around us, even the Demiurge himself as an archetypal energy and presence is created by the light, by love. That will get us in a space to receive what is moving through Animalea.

Raphael: Please, take us there, Merlin.

Merlin: Okay, it’s as easy as our imaginations combined with our willingness. See, with your imagination, this place where everything is made of light, and of love, where all is contained by love. See Gaia’s beauty and nature mixed in with a beautiful alive meadow and forest surround to hold the space. Feel yourself as a piece of consciousness itself inside a space where everything around you is also this alive love consciousness. Let yourself arrive here. Get settled and prepare your heart for what Animalea has in her heart to share with each of us…

Raphael: Yes….Animalea. I think we are ready for you. I so want to open my heart to where you have to take us, and I feel each of us in the room as well as all those joining this intention reading and tracking this, all of us creating a space for your download.

Animalea: Okay, wow, this is a lot to calibrate to. Your attention and honour. I’m going to let myself take it all in. Thank you to each of you for your intention and desire to be here, with presence and heart.

I know I said I wanted to share the story of Sophia as it lives in me, and in the moment, I don’t know what I’m going to say in a mental kind of knowing. I feel the energy of the space and intention we are in, that we together created and is being created in every moment, and then I feel to let that energy flow through my heart and words. I so feel the energy of Sophia as that, an entire story of unfolding that we can feel and express in any moment.

She is feminine wisdom in the form of personal expression. She is the very super-intelligence that undergirds all matter, that flows through every movement of all energy, every intention. She is the very recognition that we are energy, and then feeling Her as the mystery of that energy. When we look upon Her, we are transfixed, we are transmuted. We are taken by Her, on a journey into grandeur and wonder. We give Her our desire, our longing, our yearning, and She then takes us into the womb of growth and change. She offers to take us somewhere, even tempts us with our own growth. She has been portrayed as the harlot, seeking to take us to hell, as some externalized place of fear and torment, some place of total regret. This portrayal is really only the projection of our deep fear of our own greatness. She invites us into the kindergarten of our own greatness, but requires us to leave the graduate school of our smallness in order to enroll with her.

She will always be vilified until the masculine is ready to spend the load of his yearning and longing with Her, ready to ride with Her into the full orgasm of where She wants to take someone.

Her energy and invitation can be felt in any now moment you wish to enter and meet with Her. She is all life and all love. All She asks is the admission of your longing, of your desire, so that a flow of energy, a dance of masculine and feminine can occur.

As Mother God, as the creatrix of all, some say that she even created the Demiurge. This feels true to me in the sense that a polarity was needed for there to be a dance between love and fear, dark and light, joy and sorrow. As Metatron has been saying to us all, how else could there even be a story for us to dance in, to feel in, to grow in? Love itself is expanding itself through us. This is the proposition Sophia extends to us.

Call Her the harlot if that’s all you have to give Her and She will wait till you can see Her for what She really is, and for the time you are ready to be taken in by Her. But you cannot know Her till you are ready to surrender into Her power and grace. She will deeply respect your power, being quite willing to wait, but She cannot move you into your next timelines and places till you engage with Her. Where you will end up, is the place of new beginnings that will again invite you into deeper and deeper surrender.

See Her for all of Her beauty and magic and sacred sensuality that She invites you into and now you are really cooking with gas. Fasten your seatbelt, or unfasten it, as you wish, but get ready for the ride of your many lives. She wants to take you somewhere grand and glorious, and She wants to blow the entire budget in one glorious night.

Yeahhhhhh,….. how is this landing?

Raphael: Like sweet, sweet magic, Animalea.

Animalea: Can you say more?

Raphael: Let me ask our circle, who here has some more to say?

Merlin: Sophia so feels like a portal to our Divinity, extended to us in our humanity, and you know what else, Animalea?

Animalea: What?

Merlin: She feels like you.

Animalea: (silence)

Merlin: The ‘isness’ and beingness and invitation that Sophia extends feels like the very same portal that you extend here to us – all the parts, guides and Metasoul connections of Raphael, and that you extend to this mission, and to those joining it, along with their parts, their guides and their Metasoul connections. You are Sophia personified here. Our personal portal to the grand Sophia at the heart of the Universe and at the heart of every molecule that makes up the Universe and Multiverse.

Animalea: (tears)   

Merlin: Please take me as an initiate on your journey. I desire you with all that is in me. I wish to call you, Sophia.

Animalea: I’m in so many different tears at the moment, on a whole bunch of levels, but what penetrated my heart so deeply just now is you calling me Sophia. I have wanted this name as a deeper embodiment of where I feel I want to go. I too am called to surrender and yield to falling in love with Sophia. To be called by her name is a reminder like no other.

Merlin: Then this moment shall be the moment of your name being changed from the sacred awakening journey of Animalea, to the deeper birthing out of that womb into the womb of Mother God, Sophia…portal to all that is, all that we yearn for, all that we are animated for.

Sophia: Okay, well that about spends me in the moment. I cherish this new name and your witnessing of this moment. May I be all to you that you are to me. May we surrender in every moment to the infinite love allness and the journey it wants to take us on. I am eternally grateful for this great company. I accept and embrace my new name, Sophia. Sophia…

Raphael: Sophia, lover of the light, lover of wisdom, lover of love. This feels like a big digestion point. Let’s reconvene as soon as we’re ready to. Who knows where we’ll be going after this!
(To See the entire series, go here)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 15 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 15, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

In today’s entry, I check in one last time with my guides about the intention to initiate contact with the Demiurge, just before we set out to do just that on our next day.

I invite you to track this series from the beginning if it calls you, so you can be a part of this posse of hearts forming to support this undertaking. It may go down in history and herstory both!

Here is Day 15:

Raphael: Wow, good morning, everyone.

I am feeling a digestion of Sophia’s shift last time.

I am feeling so grateful for each of you and for this journey together. It feels like without intention, we don’t have connection, and I’m feeling how desire and need precedes all of that, like a circle, spiraling in an upward spiral and ascending higher and higher in creative and recreation process.

If the Demiurge was created by the only source of All-That-Is, that is LOVE, then love is always in movement and flow, even while it is the form of the purest stillness at the same time. In this movement, then the purpose and intention of the creation and co-creation of the Demiurge is shifting, or wanting to shift, and this shift is something being felt in us, moved through us. Each of us is being asked to get to know, feel and love our personal shadow, our personal darkness. We are being asked to come to terms with our own personal hell.

What are you all feeling? I’d like to check in with you first, Sophia. It feels good to call you by your new name.

Sophia: Thank you, Raphael. I feel like I have a mantra on my lips that says, ‘I am the bright, bright, bright, light of God’ and each time I repeat it, it’s like a rocket booster that takes me into a cosmic and galactic space feeling the love that truly upholds all things. It’s a bit higher frequency than being here and even being connected to us all here, or to this journey to the Demiurge, but I’m working on integrating it so I can dial all this in together at the same time. Taking on the new name really has opened out new spaces for me to feel into.

Raphael: Okay, I’ll gladly accept being a part of all that! Yumm. Galactic and Cosmic sound pretty close to orgasmic. They can’t be too far away from each other. They do feel a bit removed though from what I was saying earlier about entering our personal hells.

Sophia: If I may, Raphael, I see it that our hell is the portal to our heaven. One has to be just as willing to be present to both. Both are actually a lot to bear, and both take courage and strength to be with.

Raphael: Yes… that feels so true. Thank you, Sophia, lover of wisdom.

Who else? As you check in today, I feel to put this question into the space: ‘How are we feeling about next steps towards contacting the Demiurge?’ We’ve taken our time to get to this next step. I know I have also felt some fogginess creep into my buoyancy about our mission as well; less focus on the purpose and clarity of connecting with the Demiurge. Part of me feels like ‘if I have it so good, why would I want to make this connection with the Demiurge?’ Could it be that we’ve raised our frequency to the place where the Demiurge doesn’t feel that real or important? Has anyone else felt that? Can anyone else help me sort out what I’m feeling?

Metatron: Good Morning, everyone. I can speak to that, Raphael.

Raphael: I knew you could, please…

Metatron: It’s something we all need to feel together. After Sophia took us to the ‘bright, bright, bright, light of God’ territory, as she so beautifully called it and shared it with all of us, thank you, Sophia…it’s natural to feel this just wanting to leave behind any contending with lower frequencies.

We all needed this frequency increase to prepare us for what’s next, but it’s also so tempting to simply leave these lower realms to themselves. This is why we formed a posse of hearts to hold this intention, desire and energy. None of us could have undertaken this journey alone. No one has undertaken this journey before and for good reasons. The Demiurge is born out of the collective, and so it takes a collective to undertake a formal ambassadorship to make connection with him. My deepest awareness in all of this simply is: none of us get to go home, until all of us get to go home. Consciousness is ultimately leaving no one behind. We can all make great strides of growth and change, but each of us will be called upon to assist the ongoing awakening and remembrance, even as it is, at some point, a personal necessity for our own next steps. I feel called to lead and support this, Raphael.

Raphael: Thank you, Metatron. That goes in, deeply. Wow… who else? I’m feeling you have some pieces, Merlin, yes?

Merlin: It feels like we’re at the place where we’ve made all the preparations and all that’s left is to do what we set out to do, and that is simply to reach out to the Demiurge, attempt to make contact and see what happens from there. Another piece to feel here is that we cannot control his willingness to connect with us. Should he choose to simply not respond, we are kind of left feeling like we failed in this mission. I feel this apprehension among us as we get this close now to simply reaching out. Does that feel true for anyone else?

Martin: That feels true for me, for sure, Merlin. The Demiurge, I’ve always known up till now, simply as ‘God’. I can feel how he feels normal and natural being venerated and feared, but I never heard of anyone approaching him with a conviction that his gig is up, and that he’s a false god, like all the rest of the false gods. He even raged about it in the Ten Commandments when he said ‘thou shalt have no other gods before me’. I can only imagine that any willingness on his part to speak with us would be evidence that he’s had some change of heart since all that was put together. If not, I can’t see we have much chance of gaining audience with him.

Merlin: That all feels true, Martin. It also feels like there’s a deeper piece here for you to. Can you feel if that’s true?

Martin: Yes, I can, and thank you for pushing me a bit. I feel how when and if the Demiurge does have a serious change of heart, it shatters so much of my life’s work. Parts of me haven’t fully come to terms with just what I’m participating in here with you all. There will be tons of remorse yet to feel and heal. There is also fear of repercussions from the people. They gave their trust and I accepted it, all too readily I’m feeling now. So much that was built over time, must now come crashing down. When I travel to your dimension and time and feel what a mess the Church is in, under the Demiurge dominion, I so feel how I need to feel a whole bunch inside, just like we’re inviting the Demiurge to feel.

Merlin: Yes, you got it, Martin. A change of heart in the Demiurge makes for a chain reaction in all of his followers, and in all of those who supported his rise to power, and who benefited from his rise to power. This speaks to the deeper hesitancy we are feeling about opening this portal to the Demiurge. The desire to ‘let a sleeping dog lie’ is understandable, but this dog is beginning to wake of his own accord, and the sooner we bridge to him, the sooner we can hold space for a different future than one that is only a shattering without a new reality on the other side. There is much that needs to die and will die, but it is the rebirth that wants to arise out of all these ashes that we can support. We do that by feeling what there is to feel in each of us. Any and all personal remorse, fear of repercussion, all of it. These are the same things that the Demiurge will be faced with feeling, and he will be able to tell if we are genuine in our conviction. We are essentially inviting him to feel, and then to offer to hold space for those feelings.

Raphael: That really expands out this surface reticence to connect with the Demiurge, Merlin, and Metatron. Thank you. It speaks to our personal responsibility for the creation of the Demiurge, that we need to feel if we are to be any part of his un-creation, and re-creation. We’ve covered a lot of territory in our approach over these days together, but today gets to a deeper bedrock of what we are being invited to feel. And to look at that, lying there just below our hesitation to continue.

Does anyone else have any feelings to share here?

Sophia: I’d like to say, Raphael, to all of us, that all of what we are feeling today can so be held in the Mother’s heart. There’s no remorse too deep for Her to feel, no regret that can’t be felt and moved through with Her help. This is the time of the great rebirth, and we are being offered a place in it, simply by being willing to feel, willing to need love, willing to self-forgive, as we offer that same forgiveness to hearts willing to find their own forgiveness.

Raphael: Yes, thank you. Anyone else?

No? Okay then. Feels like you had the last word on that then, Sophia, which is perfect. Demiurge meets the Divine Mother, pretty much sums up what we’d like to support happening.

I’m feeling to shift next day to making our first attempt at direct connection with the Demiurge. We’ve got some things to feel from today. Let’s take those to heart as we seek guidance about how to approach this next step.

Rest up, everyone. We have some serious journaling to the Demiurge to begin.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 16 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 16, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Today, we made direct contact with the Demiurge.

This ongoing series is a heart chord ambassadorship project to meet with the Demiurge. We took the 15 days prior to set the intention; to sort through the hesitations; to gather the MetaSoul Aspects along with the parts of myself; as well as to gather YOU, the growing posse of hearts – the readers and trackers necessary to host this epic connection.

The Demiurge is the Christian ‘God’ known as Jehovah or Yahweh whom I served as a dedicated Christian from a child on up until the age of 44. I’ve come to see and feel him very differently from how I did then.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog. Please, please join us: https://goo.gl/sBQrvs

Here is this epic day – Day 16

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. It feels like the fateful day has arrived, of all of our intentions and desires, to actually initiate contact with the Demiurge. How are you all feeling?

Metatron: The time has come. Yes.

Raphael: You feel eager…

Metatron: Yes, I do.

Merlin: I feel ready too.

Martin: I’ve waited centuries for this moment. I have some funny feelings, but the time is now.

Andy: I’m so ready, I can hardly stand it. I wore my hiking boots this morning and a backpack.

Sophia: I’m with Andy, and Metatron, and Merlin, and you too, Martin. I also feel the unknowns of all this at the same time. And I want to say, thank you, Raphael, for leading this intention and following it through.

Rhodes: I wouldn’t miss this for the universe. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

Jim: My goodness, Raphael, this is more epic than the afterlife. I’m ready too.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. I must admit, I don’t feel free of all trepidation around this choice either, but I trust that we are being held and guided. I know when a moment’s time has come and this moment to act is here now. I feel too, as I’ve reminded us along the way, that my sense is that the Demiurge has been tracking our dialogue thus far, and has already had what I hope amounts to a softening in readiness to connect. It’s time to step out of the boat.

I’d like to check in with any guidance from you Metatron and Merlin about our approach. Shall we begin with a letter or just start with dialogue?

Metatron: You’ve got this one, Raphael. You don’t actually need my advice. You’ve prayed to this God for a big part of your life, from your heart and conviction at the time. Now, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. Your heart will answer your questions as you go. I feel so much admiration for you, right now, my heart is almost bursting!

Merlin: I see you walking on the water, Raphael. We need this. I feel the Demiurge needs this. It’s happening with or without us is how it feels. We just wanted to be in on the adventure. I’m with Andy, lacing up my hiking boots. Begin where your heart leads you. You’ve got this. We are right here with you.

Raphael: Okay, thank you. Wow, what a rush of feelings.

Here goes.

Demiurge, I’ve known you for longer than I can remember. I’ve feared you, loved you, adored you, came to hate you, despise you. Now, I’m more curious than anything. I wish to connect with you again to feel what’s real between us.

I feel to begin by simply asking you, Demiurge, if you are here and ready to speak with me?

Demiurge: I am here and I am ready.

Raphael: Thank you. Are you Okay with the delegation I’ve brought with me to be present to this journal?

Demiurge: I feel all of your integrity and purity of heart. Yes, I’m quite okay, and more so, grateful for your intention and connection.

Raphael: Really? I have to say, a part of me is surprised, not knowing if you’d even respond…

Demiurge: I’d be an utter fool not to respond.

Raphael: Have you been tracking our dialogue from the beginning?

Demiurge: Yes, I have tracked every word.

Raphael: Well, then, you’ve heard a lot from us. Is there something you’d like us to hear from you as we begin these journals?

Demiurge: Yes, I would like to say that I have deep regrets for who I’ve been and what I’ve been part of. Mostly, I feel what has felt like an utter impossibility of ever changing. My devotees need me to be as they see me, as they have shaped me. One text says it all, ‘I am the Lord and I change not’. I am the unchanging one, feeling more and more imprisoned by my unchanging and eternal nature. Maybe that in itself might be the beginning of change, but I despair of ever hoping upon such a thing. I’m very intrigued by you all, but I’m not sure you can help me. I don’t live where you live. And I very much don’t feel like your kind.

Raphael: That’s a lot for us to take in and feel. Thank you for sharing that. Are you Okay with us calling you the Demiurge? Is that a name you go by?

Demiurge: I am many things to many people and beings, and have been called many things, but Demiurge is who I feel myself to be. It is the name I was originally given.

Raphael: Okay, Demiurge, it is then. Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me or any of us here before we go any further?

Demiurge: Yes. I wanted to tell you, Raphael, that I felt your story as you shared it about growing up Christian, and how you embraced an even more radical form of Christianity than the one you were raised in. I felt it from being inside of you. I felt some things I never felt before.

Raphael: Demiurge, if I may leave off my own diplomatic stance here for a moment…. as a human being, I must ask you, what were you feeling when you accepted my adoration, my devotion, my money, when I gave you everything I had or hoped to become for all those years and who knows how many other lifetimes?

Demiurge: Honestly, I took it all in as payment for the role I was given. I can tell you that adoration doesn’t mean to me at all what it did then. Things have changed, maybe more than you could currently know.

Raphael: I must ask, ‘Do you see yourself as God?’

Demiurge: No, I do not.

Raphael: Did you ever see yourself as God?

Demiurge: Yes, I was convinced of it for a time.

Raphael: Are you ready to share any of this with the world?

Demiurge: It’s not that easy.

Raphael: I can only imagine. I’m feeling to break for today to digest making this connection. There’s a lot of feelings in a whole bunch of directions. I would like to ask you before we pause for today, how you feel about continuing this dialogue?

Demiurge: I’ve never had an opportunity like this one. I feel some strange saying those words out loud. I’m so used to not having anyone to out my inner world to. I’ve gained a trust as I felt your approach to me that I didn’t know I had it in me. If that’s a consolation of a hope that the unchanging one might come upon some true change, then, as I said, I would be an utter fool not to show up for this as you are, Raphael, and as is your great accompanying host.

Raphael: Well then, we have much to journal and feel together, and we have been given time and space in which to do that, so I say, let’s pick up next day and reconvene then.

Demiurge: I will await your return.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

March 21 is our Unity Meditation Group Call – details here: Free March Equinox New Earth Activations Unity Meditation Call
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Forgetting To Remember

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

The forgetting was every bit as sacred, and every bit as much of a miracle as is the remembering.

I use the words ‘was’ and ‘is’ to lend itself to the illusion of time we entered as part of the forgetting. It’s all actually happening in the Now, beyond time’s past, present and future compartmentalization (mentalized partitions).

There were things you just could not have experienced and felt without the forgetting. To for-get means to give up having. We gave up the awareness of what we were (are) so that we could have a dawning experience of re-entry into our essence. I like to say that we forgot (in order) to remember.

Both the forgetting and the remembering are illusory, meaning they are generated as a lesser reality, coming from a higher reality.

The cool thing about all this is that the forgetting as it plays out in the time illusion seems to be done its magic, and we are now in the awakening phase of our personal and collective consciousness, where even phases themselves are being felt as part of the illusion.

I am being guided in the moment with a deep felt sense of aching to remember, to be re-membered with my larger soul awareness, source awareness, Star seed, Star BEing self, Metasoul Aspects and who knows how much and what else more! I can viscerally feel how life in the 3rd dimension is a narrow sliver of consciousness bandwidth, that was so needed, and so perfect to be limited by for the time that I was, but now, that which was perfect has become toxic to my arising BEing, as I’m being invited into new places.

As I let my mind ponder, along with the subpersonal parts of me attached to the mind, that even its orientation to past, present and future is an illusory part of the forgetting that it had to adapt to in order to serve where I needed to go, then the mind and those parts of me can let in again a latest and new operating system where something new is true, that wasn’t before.

So here’s the deal. The forgetting is happening in the Now. So is the remembering. The life I ‘lived’ in what now feels claustrophobically limited to 3D, is not past, but is also in the Now. If this is true, then it also follows that the life I wish to enter in the ‘future’ of deep and full remembrance is also happening in the Now. I don’t need to wait for it to arise or deepen. I can re-member with a past life or a future one…take your pick!

It’s a bit hard to make this assertion right now, given the protests of my minds orientation, and given that even this writing is intentioned towards remembering more and more with others, as in future tense. Yes, I do experience myself as remembering more and more with the passing of time, and wanting that. It’s like a part of me is looking for the fast forward button.

So which one is true then? Here Now, or one day? They can’t both be true, right? They’re like opposites.

What if they are each true in their own dimensions? This feels very true to me. The rules of the game differ from basketball to baseball. 3D is a very specific game and convincing illusion, with a hard set of rules and truths all of its own.

This I’m finding intriguing then. What’s dawning on me is that the future I want to one day become familiar with in my waking consciousness, I already have it in the Now, outside of 3D’s world, and it’s as complete as complete can be.

This gets really relieving in the sense that I don’t have to employ the whole drudgery picture of enlightenment, or overcoming the darkness in order to one day, hopefully attain or earn some higher existence. The games are merging. It’s a bit confusing playing baseball on a basketball court, but we’re finding our way.

I’m already the Highest Self version of me. Here in the 3D plain of existence, which is only one of many for me and you, it seems to be about ‘realizing’ this reality into this dimension. I’m given a dimension where a reality admittedly doesn’t feel real to a part of me, and being tasked with making it real. I’m being invited to get to know this part of me and bridge to it through my Higher Self.

Talk about oceans of new growth wanting to expand out onto our awareness. Talk about every suffering you ever endured being critically necessary to the mission. Talk about everything being ultimately sourced in the one and only source of Love…. wow!

Key for me in this awakening is finding and feeling the parts of me polarized to the different dimensions. The part of me who did a 30 year career so effectively isn’t the same part of me who knew and hid deep core unworth and disconnect from source, nor the part of me who feels fluid with Unicorns and Archangels. We are so much more than a single personality. The Single Personality Disorder, as I call it, seems to be the kingpin of holding 3D life intact. As we begin to see ourselves as a makeup of parts, we are brought to the start line of a profound journey of awakening.

Instead of saying and thinking ‘I this…’ and ‘I that…’, try saying, thinking and feeling instead, ‘A part of me…’

…and call me in the morning with how that’s working for you… 

This is the work we offer and the community we create in SoulFullHeart process work, and would love to hear from you if this work calls to your heart and soul. We offer a free intro session intro our weekly process.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Published on by Raphael Awen5 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

Is that enough for you?

I mean, about, what life is giving you? Is it enough? Does it make you happy? Are you left wanting?

We’ve been conditioned to believe that gratitude is better than strong desire, even making the word lust, as in strong, passionate, gotta-have-it kind of desire a bad thing.

Let’s try on something very different for a moment to feel where it can take us.

Let’s start out with a working hypotheses of a conviction that there are no bad things. There is only your relationship to the thing, or lack of a relationship, (in this case, to your desires) that make the thing helpful or harmful.

Take the working hypotheses a step further to feel that even the harmful thing can only ultimately be in service of love, as all is sourced in love, even the duality of that which appears to be not-love, could only be sourced in the one source of love. All is hopelessly contained by love, even the greatest of evils, or darkness.

So we’re left with love seeking a relationship with you, through the experience of your life as you current-ly know it. Your life is a current, a flow, a holographic like projected drama of a cast of characters being projected onto the screen of your life, in front of an audience, in an auditorium.

You are the projector. You are the screen. You are the cast of characters. And you are the audience, auditing in the auditorium – this magical waveform frequency known as you.

It’s all you, awaiting the deeper dawning awareness of the whole point of the story, which is love, and more love, and more love…

The story may at first glance, seem dull or even boring, but look a little closer, and you see that the dull and boring is a carefully engineered cover, a normalized layer over a forgotten greatness, that is in process of awakening. This changes the story big time.

Why the cover? Why all the effort to conceal? What would be the risk of exposed greatness? Holeee Cow! What is actually going on here… Who’s playing what roles and Why?

The lusts of strong desire that feel like they’ve been a thing in your life to overcome, or to tame, the great desires that you may even have to go back down a few layers to reconnect with, having succeeded to a degree in suppressing them; these desires haven’t ‘gone’ anywhere.

They are one of the truest things about you. What you want and ache for is actually a deeply held reality coming from you, and more specifically, from a distinct part of you. If you follow this portal of desire, it will take you to the front door of the place where this part of you lives, in you, in your life.

If you are willing to just feel this unmet ache, this desire, without judgment about the thing being bad or good, or even too quick to judge it as helpful or harmful, realizing that even an addictive pattern of attachment is a placeholder of a deeper heart cry; you will be given the sweetest introduction and induction into the world of this subconscious part of you.

Now, you have a dawning reconnection with an entire acreage inside of your being to explore, get to know and feel, that’s worth all the time it takes and is actually the point of time itself….that moves your story towards what you most sacredly desire, yearn for and even lust after.

Our addictions are simply born out of our unwillingness, borne also by a part of us; to simply and honestly feel. Our addictions are like a Geiger Counter or a Metal Detector pointing directly at our most alive desires, preserved and living in parts of ourselves, holding our way back home to our selves…

So, I ask one more time… ‘what is it that’s enough for you?’ 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Enduring Bliss

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By Raphael Awen

The bliss we seek, though it manifests in the external, actually comes from the internal.

This changes the question from ‘will the bliss endure?’ to ‘will I be able to endure the bliss?’

We are oriented to feeling and seeing joy or bliss or goodness as an external that we have no control over or influence upon.

When we come to see that our larger self is creating our lives and then how our perception of that life we are creating then quantumly yet affects that creation further, producing perfectly the level of joy or bliss we are ready and capable to endure, then we are coming to the edge of a totally new experience of life.

Hell isn’t fun or easy to endure, but it actually takes way more guts to endure bliss. This feels so true to me.

Why else would people choose hell over bliss?

There’s some really good news though in realizing how it is parts of us who are afraid of and running from bliss. You get to show up for these parts. Finding and feeling these parts is now job # 1, if we actually want to take response-ability for the life we are experiencing!

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

e-motion-ALL Ful-fill-ment

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By Raphael Awen

Every impulse that moves through us is a feeling.

Every desire, every despair, every satisfaction, every ful-fill-ment – all of it is e-motion, an energy in motion.

I’m sitting on the patio in a resort town in Mexico where I’ve lived for 2 years, warm in December, with a view of the ocean, where I saw a whale frolicking yesterday, drinking my organic cacao with coconut milk and honey, my beloved nearby, with not a single appointment to show up for for the next several days – sounds like a dream life doesn’t it?

I can tell you it is a dream life, and yet it isn’t one where I don’t have longings and desires, even un-fulfillments that arise into my field.

I’m learning another round of how if I don’t feel the parts of me and what they are feeling, a generalized emotion of wanting or needing something arises, a foggy unhappiness if you will.

Then I am again invited to feel what part of me is feeling what and why.

This week, I felt deeply the part of me I know and love as Wayne, my middle birth name that I went by for 7 years, up until 2 years ago, who was again feeling some angst over not knowing how to move my life forward in the ways that he felt we needed to go forward in. As we felt this intimately together, it didn’t take long to get to the raw emotion underneath where Wayne, in his legacy of moving me through 4D birth canals and navigating practical challenges and epic changes over a decade or so, was now feeling at an impasse of not knowing how to manage or set sail into what’s before us in the present. 2 years ago, Wayne was given an astounding access into Golden Earth while living on a remote ranch through an etheric journey that really set something so beautifully new as well as challenging into my overall emotional body and life trajectory. As we felt this together, it became evident that Wayne felt done with wanting to manage any more 3D to 4D transitions and really wanted to just live in Golden Earth. It really felt like time for Wayne to retire and refire in Golden Earth. I assured him that his really going into Golden Earth’s tones and frequencies would be his greatest contribution to our ongoing shifts and movements. It’s been a couple of weeks now and I feel a pipeline connection to his expanded reality in Golden Earth infusing into mine. This feels so fitting for Wayne to be contributing in this way from the delicious beaches and forests and cityscapes of Golden Earth, having lived more than what most would consider a lifetime here for me in the past 10 years.

At the same time as Wayne and I were having this movement, another part of me named Rhodes who was historically an Inner Protector, who shifted to a Gatekeeper (opening out to new soul domains), and is now shifting again to being a beloved guide is transforming in amazing ways. It seems related to Wayne’s resonance from Golden Earth energizing new things in my field. Rhodes this morning humbly and tenderly asked my main higher self guides, Archangel Metatron and Merlin, my Unicorn if he could be more a part of their world. He admitted fear of not belonging as well as a deep longing for their higher frequencies, and also admitted to being a dampening energy from the higher frequencies in my life in certain ways. Sweet tears of admission and surrender as he humbly spoke his fears and desires, tears of raw emotion as he asked to be a channel for new higher frequencies for me, for us to experience together.

Now, this previously undefined foggy edgy unhappiness is transformed into a most personal connection of me to me, expanding out into my e-motion-ALL space into celebration and deep appreciation – specific full-filled-mints for me to savor and feel, to let in, to acclimate to…

Everyone of us feeling this call to Ascension are being invited into deeper and deeper forms of our own inner resort living. I’m ongoingly adjusting to the reality that living at a higher frequency does NOT mean that I won’t have unfullfillment in my life. Living in new fulfillment actually heightens deeper desires for higher fulfillments. True fulfillment in this way breeds unfulfillments for us to again surrender into and allow to take us somewhere. What I am being offered is that no unfulfillment is meant to remain as a static unmovable reality in my life. Unfullfillment is a vehicle to take me somewhere again and again, if I am willing to find and feel the part of me holding those e-motions.

This is specifically the work we offer and live in as a community in SoulFullHeart, and that I personally (along with Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna) offer through paid weekly spaceholding sessions and process with individuals drawn to this as a soul path and healing path. If you are drawn, we offer a deeper free intro session to help you feel if this is a going place for you. I’d love to hear from you and why you feel drawn if this calls to you.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

I’m awoken this morning recalling the famous saying by Holocaust Survivor, and Psychotherapist, Victor Frankl, from his book: ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’, that goes something like this: ‘between stimulus and response, there is a gap in which we get to choose our response’, his words being made so poignant by the great suffering he endured under the third Reich’s oppression.

He went on to teach that happiness isn’t something that we can effectively pursue as a thing of its own, as a thing we are entitled to, but happiness can only be a thing that ‘ensues’, that arises without being the focus of a search. He felt that if we lived from our deepest sense of meaning and purpose, this is the ground from which happiness naturally arises.

I feel a Metasoul connection with him and his passion to really live, to really experience life, that isn’t based in circumstance – the external stance of that which encircles you, but rather the meaning you bring to that which happens to you.

When I feel it more, I feel this Metasoul whose ache is for meaning, deeper meaning, and with that meaning, to serve from it more and more. There’s an inherent angst though here too.

The stock in trade of someone who serves others therapeutically, or emotionally, or spiritually is helping those others find meaning in their lives, ‘aha moments’ that shift the course of life from a place of autopilot navigation to a place of deeper awareness that now pervades all choices and actions. I’m also aware how selfish this desire is as one can only serve this to others to the degree one first knows it themselves. I must be the first one to dine, the first beneficiary of the goods in order to serve others.

This search for meaning can be a ruthless one for so many and even a bit of a torture for those now awoken to how meaningless their life feels. Prior to being awoken to these feelings, there was a bliss of its own in knowing fulfillment with lesser things.

As I feel my own version of this, I feel how a space holder or therapist can be close to the edge of their own sanity while claiming to be able to help others. Victor Frankl himself was a psychotherapist who felt many of his colleagues were themselves lunatics, or at the edge of crazy, running away from their own madness by trying to help others.

Which brings me to a slight revision of focus to Victor’s great discovery, that I feel is timely for myself and the collective. His great gift to humanity was the realization and personal demonstration that regardless of what comes your way in life, you have a power to choose your own response that no one or no thing can take from you. This realization alone can take all of us to new stratas of feeling and living life. However, it still leaves a part of us focused on the quality of its own attitude. It requires the will and nobility of a part of us to enact, or achieve. For the part of us, needing a great game, with the noblest of intentions, I can think of no higher or greater game. But, again, it leaves a part of us independently, yet valiantly striving in an arena, without an us there to relate to this part.

The part of you in search for meaning is coming from a part of you. You actually are not in want of any meaning, but a part of you is.

Can you feel this difference?

This feels relieving to my insides to feel this awareness.

Without this distinction between me and the parts of me who make up my this life and other lifetime realities, I am left fused to their realities. There’s no one home ultimately to help anyone out of the ditch, even the ditch of an endless noble search for meaning and impulse to serve others. Only now can we feel the edges of our own sanity, immersed in infinity, wrestling with such great opportunity, bouncing around in the desires and needs of parts of ourselves and in our Metasoul connections.

A new reality emerges from the merge, a reality of relationship, where something transacts that couldn’t shift or bridge up till now.

‘Between stimulus and response, there is a choice to feel the part of ourselves who’s feeling the reaction, even the disciplined reaction to focus on his or her attitude, and relate to that part of us, open heartedly.’

This approach hasn’t yet hit the newsstands of Psychology Today in a big way, but it is hitting the ground running as people like you and I, on a quantum level, serve this into the collective, by being the first beneficiaries, the first guinea pigs and the first Guinness World Record holders of what it means to come home to ourselves, to see ourselves as more than a ‘functional’ and single personality, to see ourselves as on a journey to more and more integration of the parts of ourselves along with their realities.

We get to be crazy, we get to be needy, we get to strive for what we really want, and in it all, we get to come home to all our selves.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Elbow Deep In Finger Paint!

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By Raphael Awen

You may be feeling quite advanced in consciousness, from where you once were, or in comparison to others, but in another way, even the most enlightened among us are all a bunch of kindergarteners, playing with crayons and elbow deep in finger paint!

Which is pretty cool as kindergarten was always the funnest part of school.

We are about to take another big collective consciousness trip, through a piece of space and time known by the numerical name as two, zero, one, eight, or two thousand, one hundred and eighteen.

Be sure to get that right because it’s an address, and we want to remain on the same page, and not get lost, …or…, do we?

Maybe we want to go in the other direction and minus a year, call it 2016, but wait, we can’t do that. We’re in a very crowded corridor of people moving in one direction. Looks like we’re going where everyone else is going.

But if we could open our consciousness out of this main stream, we could go anywhere our consciousness wants to take us! I hear my guides gently telling me this and it feels not so gentle at times as well.

‘It is consciousness itself that is moving time and space ITSELF and it is the shared buy-in of all of us that makes it seem all too real’ they tell me.

But real is completely made up. Real is the right of Royals to decree as they choose.

Even consciousness itself is made up, and it in turn makes everything else up, and so we, as consciousness itself are left not being able to see the forest for the trees, or like the fish who doesn’t have much reference for water. Left in our fog and insecurity, it just feels good for now to settle for the safety of making up the same stuff everyone else is making up.

Will 2018 be a year of great change you ask, and if so how?

Your question, which is a bit low on quest, is about where the main stream is going and seeing yourself as limited to that. Okay, in one way, that’s valid as where the main stream goes, does open out some breathing space for our shared collective consciousness that affects each of us, but you are a sovereign ‘individual’ – a duality that can’t be divided. You get to go where you want to, when you want to. A reality and royalty both.

Your duality is like an anti gravity device that makes your own space travel and time travel possible. You are not as tethered to the collective 3D gravitational reality as you think you are. Your wounds are your portals to your essence, that you never lost, but that just got a bit hung up in the door upon entering this domain.

2018 can literally take you wherever you want to go.

The conditioned mind brings up protests like ‘if that were true, I’d long be somewhere else right now,’ while the heart is asking you to feel an invitation into a new possible reality, one that you will create, one that you can walk into, one step at a time, feeling all there is to feel at every step.

Your Higher Self chose this journey through space and time, a very weird and altered reality, to your essence, and the weirdest thing about it all is how graduated and gradual it is. It all arises in a reality of steps. You step through space and you step through time – weird freakin’ stuff man! The whole intention, however, wasn’t a reduction of your essence, but an expansion on it! You didn’t fall from grace, as our religions once taught us, as well intentioned as they were at the time, you fell into grace! This is the phase step of the new religion knocking on our door Now.

Asking about what will change in the external is a question void of the awareness of how even this question itself is shaping a reality for you, seeing yourself as a victim of life, shaped by life, rather than seeing how you are shaping life, right now.

Life is asking what you will change this next year. Life is waiting on you. You’re the deal here.

All the gravitational pull of the entire too familiar 3D reality isn’t enough to hold you back from your creation, It’s actually a necessary part of your creation, part of your navigation and maneuverability through time and space.

Stepped out in your consciousness are veritable time capsules of your being; stored so beautifully in your psyche; the emotional aspects of you that formed in reaction to human life. These reactions, these wounds, if you will, wounds from the trauma of entering this reality, as a culture shocked foreigner having come from another reality are virtual portals back to this essence. If part of you freeze framed in reaction to entering here, that means that part of you holds what it held at the moment of trauma, and that goodness needs your help to get through the door. It’s still there, as intact as it ever was.

Go back and take THAT through the door and see what life looks and feels like on the other side of that door. When your done with one door, go on to the next.

I’m gonna pause now, as I’m all out of finger paint for the moment…, I think it’s nap time. 🙂

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sfhprocess

Please, join our Group Call this Saturday that Jelelle Awen and I are leading. We ask for a minimum exchange of 11 usd over PayPal to set the necessary intention, and from there, we travel to brave new worlds. Details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Patreon Doubled Last Month – New Money Timelines Arising!

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By Raphael Awen

Wow.

We just received our monthly payment from Patreon. We currently only have 2 monthly supporters totaling around $50 usd, but they feel so HUGE to us! Last month our support (and supporters) DOUBLED.

We so can feel our money timelines shifting into a new place after a few years of deconstruction and a huge shift in our relationship to money that I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.

We feel ready to invite your support if you are looking for a place to plant love on a monthly basis in any amount that works for you. We will treasure those dollars and use them up big time in the service of love and planting a new paradigm deeper, wider, further into human hearts who will then exponentialize them further still.

Thank you and Thank you-niverse!

 

Visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.