Healing The Inner Punisher/Shame Dynamic: Men’s Group Call Introduction

This Saturday, Raphael Awen and I will be hosting our third Men’s Group Call over Zoom. We will be connecting hearts around the topic of the Punisher/Shame loop that happens inside of many men.

This dynamic feels to be quite a pivotal part of any man’s healing journey. It has manifested so many unhealthy choices and actions in individuals and in the collective. It holds so much anchoring energy and a huge block to drawing the life that we truly wish to experience as human beings.

I can remember this feeling early on in my life as a child. That inner voice that would judge me and pick me apart. Then there were the feelings of shame whenever I was told I had done something ‘wrong’. That feeling of Shame can be responded to in a passive inbound fashion or an outbound, defensive one.

I tended to get defensive as a boy and then at some point it internalized and became an quiet battle within. I could feel parts of me shrink as a shroud would come over me. Another part would try and counter with some okayness and go about the day.

The loop of punishment and shame was a heavy anchor in my heart and soul. It cut off my expression and my own self-worth. I felt impotent and dulled. This dynamic feels pervasive in so many of us. I can see how it has contributed to either the disempowered man or the aggressive, dominating man. It may be the root of the Narcissist we have all had our experience with (which if could be seen and felt, there could be some compassion and healing with them.)

This dynamic is something that starts at an early age and also has roots in our soul memory as well. This is met and unwound by meeting with these two parts of you locked in a spin-cycle. It keeps you as the seat of power and Love to come to the forefront. To lead the way to a more healthy and self-loving relationship with the World. It opens the door to your inherent self-worth, Joy, and peace.

Please join Raphael and I on Saturday where we will talk more about this dynamic from the SoulFullHeart lens as well a provide a guided meditation for you to see and feel this dynamic inside of you so that you can begin the process of understanding, healing, and transformation into a more alive and authentically loving you. You can visit www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more info.

We both look forward to being a part of the healing of this difficult yet important portal into your King’s heart and sacred masculine expression.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Quest Of Sacred Knighthood

There is a sacred Knighthood that lives among the hearts of men. A Kighthood that needs to be revisited in our souls to heal the division amongst us so that we may once again find a unity within us.

We were once called to a Higher code of vision and purpose before being hijacked in our hearts. We all agreed to this. We chose it to work out something inside and out. I am being called to be one of many that wish to see this Order to be reestablished and embodied once again.

An Order that is committed to self-healing and Divine expression. One that looks beyond the machinations of the System and derives its sovereign authority from Love Itself.

It is an Order devoted to committing itself to vulnerable leadership, community-building, and sacred union/intimacy within mateship. Co-creating and co-leading with the feminine inside and out.

This is dismantling the old orders of warriors and nice guys. They are integrated into a more wholistic and sacred service of creation not bound by fear, hate, domination, and guilt. This a call that starts not by fixing or transcending, but by feeling and courageous embodiment of what is clear and aligned with Love.

That is the new Quest I have been called to participate in alongside Raphael Awen. The new Call to Arms which means going into the heart. Into the soul to find where we left Love’s Grace and to reinstall it back into our Being and back into Consciousness. A new order of Knighthood that leads us back to our one true Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

For more information on being a part of this quest, I offer a free 45 min. introductory call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Surrendering To Our Sovereign Relationship To Love

The words ‘sovereignty‘ and ‘surrender‘ can be quite the portals for the masculine in us all. They are especially highlighted in relationships of all kinds. In the ongoing journey of healing my intimacy wounds, I have come to these gateways many times. Who is this ‘me’ in the we of intimate relationship? How do I maintain my own truth, needs, and desires without feeling like I am acquiescing or submitting to someone else’s truth, needs, and desires?

Before I left California 8 years ago, I lived a life that would be defined as ‘sovereign’. I was not in many relationships after my divorce, and when I was, sovereignty was a big trigger as well as commitment. Inside there was a part of me that wanted his cake and eat it too. That old wounded masculine conditioned standard. Intimacy was more about sex and having a good time rather than getting to the bare bones of my heart-truth and my deeper needs as human man.

Then I found myself in a sacred, conscious romance as well as sacred, conscious community. Those flared up that ‘sovereignty gene’ I want to call it. That switch that says, “Oh, woah! Wait! Time-out. What is going on here? I am I giving away something that I cherish for the sake of something that I am not familiar with?”. The question was, what was it that a part of me cherished and what was it not familiar with?

At the core, I found that a part of me cherished non-vulnerability and wasn’t familiar with vulnerability. Even deeper, I realized it was an existential fear of Love that was at the root of it all. When I felt the ‘me’ that was independent, sovereign, and non-vulnerable, I found a man that was lost, unhappy, and alone. Only he wasn’t able to admit that at the time. With anyone.

As men (or the masculine in women), we can so very much defend our sovereignty at the cost of real Love. That somehow Love and Sovereignty are separate and adversarial. I feel our relationship to our mothers as a pivotal piece to this equation. They represent that from which we were born from. We received love in one form or another and then we needed to break away from that to find our individuation. Our authentic manhood that needed to push away, but more healthfully could have been initiated into it by a more conscious mother and father energy.

If we did not have that, and I would say most if not all of us did, then we are continually in this push-pull relationship to Other. To Love. To Intimacy. Surrender becomes more ‘submission’ than an opening into vulnerability which is all done with our sovereignty intact. We actually can never lose our sovereignty. We are born free, yet have been convinced we are in chains. When you see those chains are really about our fear of Love and our deep separation wound, you start to unhook those chains one by one.

This is a deep soul choice to heal this wound. It is not an easy one. It brings up a lot to witness and feel. A lot to be sober about in our shadow. Yet, it also brings in a new sense of freedom. A freedom to Be. To express. To surrender into without losing ourselves, but rather re-membering ourselves. It offers Love beyond what we had been conditioned and wounded into believing is love. This is the sovereign journey back into true surrender and true power. The power of conscious Love.



Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call this Saturday at 5pm BST via Zoom. We will be talking about these topics as well as offering a guided meditation and sharing space. You can go to soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Unplugging And Healing The Black Widow Program And Aspect Within

A week from Sunday, Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call about the subject of Sovereignty and Surrender, joined by our brother in heart, James Elphick. We will be diving into a topic that feels to have a lot of vibration for us men (as well as the masculine in women).

I have been in process of feeling a deeper layer of my mother wounding that is connected to a shadow feminine matrix programming called Black Widow. This is the name I received from this part/aspect of me I have been connecting with around this energy. She first showed up as a black widow spider to illuminate the nature of this woundedness and the programming itself. Then she morphed into a dominatrix with whip, heels, and all.

After some time of connecting with her and feeling who she really is underneath that all, I could feel something lighten and begin to get more clarity about this energy that may live in a lot of us men. This energy that uses guilt, shame, judgment, sexuality, comfort, and fear to keep us locked in a lower frequency, a state of suffering, a lulled state of disempowerment, or inner and outer judgment/punishment.

It is an inner battle of wanting to free ourselves from this web she weaves that I feel we as men are really trying to feel sovereign from. When we are engaged with other women in intimacy, this can really flare up. It triggers this need to be independent yet also the need to be connected in one form or another. There is a part of us that is in a push and a pull toward this energy and it is hard to feel fully empowered and vulnerable at the same time.

When she has this wounded Inner Mother energy, our Inner Teenager can feel the need to push back and seek independence. If she comes as Punishing energy, we may feel defensiveness and another need to push back. When it comes in as Fear, we may go to fight or flight. When she comes with sexuality we lose ourselves in our need for validation.

This Black Widow program/wounding has lost her connection to Innocence and to her own worth. She guards as well as feeds off this energy. Possessing it for herself out of need, not really out of some negative agenda, though it certainly feels that way at first. When I connect more with her with Love, the more she goes into her pain and her fear. Here is where healing and true sovereignty begin.

I can start to feel when this energy frequency of doubt, judgement, anxiety, or fear come in and I go to her. I feel her afraid to lose touch with me. I recognized those feelings were a tactic to keep my younger parts close to her. I am now going to her and bring her with me into the New. Into the Light from the dark crevice I first met her in.

In her more healed essence, she is our creativity and our sensuality. She is a face of our sacred feminine and our intuition. She is our truth and our discernment. She is our surrendered sovereignty into Divine Trust. She is our entrance into the exit of the Matrix itself. She knows the way. She knows how it works and operates. With that we can start to unplug (a sovereign choice) and surrender into the the New Earth world that is awaiting our creative power to encode New Earth inside and then on the outside.

If you are feeling a resonance or a curiosity about this programming/wounded inner mother energy and how it has influenced your feeling of your personal empowerment, sovereignty, and maybe a fear of surrendering into vulnerability, please join Raphael, James, and myself on this upcoming men’s group call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information. We would love to have you and feel what is moving for you in this area.

I also offer a free 45-minute consult/information call for both men and women that are wanting to feel more about how the SoulFullHeart process and space-holding may support this deeper dive into your wounding and unplugging. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

I will be writing more about this topic in relation to romance, intimacy, and community in the following week so please stay tuned. Sending much love to all during these very intense, yet activating times.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

You Are Your Own Sovereign

By  Raphael Awen

You are your own sovereign.

There’s no one above you. Your power is yours by right of being. It cannot be taken away. It cannot be transferred to another by force or by gift.

But there’s also no one below you. You don’t have power ‘over’ any-one or any-thing. All the ones and things around you are equally sovereign, by right of their being.

So what’s the value in sovereignty then, if I can’t feel powerful, and command or demand over something?

The value is found in the shared experience. We are all equal sovereigns, lords of our own kingdoms and queendoms. The only company that we could ever truly enjoy is with our own kind – Kings and Queens.

Only those who possess this kind of sovereignty can experience true surrender. True surrender is an even deeper sharing in this profound kind of knowing that my power is mine, and only I can lay it down and pick it up at will, when and as I choose.

Surrender is a most powerful expression of our power.

True surrender is not the same thing at all as what we’ve called ‘giving away your power’. Your ownership of your power cannot be signed over to another. It can only be denied or disowned by you as long as you are unaware of your power.

But you are re-membering now. The dis-membering that preceded this remembrance was all about a full circle learning curve to come to terms with the infinite power you hold, and always did.

How does this remembrance that’s happening now want to express in your life as you know it right now?

What choices are before you asking for your most honest truth? Who and what in your life needs to be informed of that truth? What manner will you assume as you share that truth that isn’t about the old grounds of power or dominance over others, making them feel small and controlled?

Now, you are in true humble worthiness surrender territory. You’ve surrendered your choices and truth declaration to the world around you, and you’re ready to accept their truth declaration and choices in return, that may well be to your loss, the loss of something you’ve worked hard up till now to not lose.

They may not want to or be ready to take the journey you are taking. Their time and manner of remembrance may not be in sync with yours. You are choosing to let go a kind of false power over them of pretending to be in resonance with them when in fact, the ground underneath your relationship has been getting smaller and smaller of late, leading to this choice point that arises now in your shared story together.

You acknowledge your oneness with them and your utter  inseparability with them by breaking off contact with them as you know and feel that nothing real can be lost.

Here we see and feel the shared sovereignty reality. We wondered how there could be a room full of Kings and Queens without any subjects to make it all real. Now we see and feel that we are all subjects of the Kings and Queens that surround us on all sides. You are a complete sovereign in relationship with complete and total sovereigns.

You surrender to that with the ownership of your sovereignty, as you hold it in love, in surrender, in deep humility, in the willingness to let go of what no longer serves you or them.

When you find yourself feeling dominated or lorded over by any kind of power, be it social pressure, 3D governmental power structures or people in authority, spiritual teachers, or your boss at work, you are being invited to feel the power of your choice that can never be taken from you.

Even if you end up in prison, feeling most of your freedoms taken from you, you are invited to feel the power over your own being that is yours and yours alone. This power doesn’t need security fences or noisy alarm systems to protect it, for it cannot be taken away or lost. When you know this in life, you know it in any and all circumstances, and it radiates to everyone around you boldly, even to your jailers if that is the circumstance you find yourself in.

The entire world awaits this awakening in you. Jailers, kings, queens, philosophers and ploughmen, each must play their part in their own awakening, spurred on by your awakening.

There’s only one of us ultimately, so there cannot be anyone above or below. This one of us needs to remember its own power simultaneously through your and my individual remembrance of it. None of us get to be fully home until all of us are fully home, again because there is only one of us.

You get to be a forerunner in all of this if you’d like to be, a shower of the way. It will however call for the ongoing surrender of many things, things you once held onto dearly and even fiercely in the process of learning what power and sovereignty is not.

This is what makes it real, what makes it royal, is that you as a King and as a Queen give up false power to truly serve the loyal subjects that surround you towards the awakening to their own sovereignty.

Anyone who tries to suppress the power of those around them will forever be surrounded by stunted beings, reflecting to them their own seemingly inescapable smallness of being.

Anyone who champions the power of the individual around them, will forever be surrounded by testaments of their own true power and sovereignty.

This is the story, the drama that is unfolding on the stage before us now. You and I are the actors, the playwrights, the audience, the investors putting in the capital, and the janitor who must clean up after the show.

This is the dharma in our drama right now. You are the examplar and the sampler. This is the greatest story ever told.

Much love,

Raphael Awen

I’d like to invite any man here to the men’s group call that I’m leading with Gabriel Gabriel Amara and joined by James Elphick on this subject ‘Sovereignty and Surrender’ on zoom on Saturday, April 24th at 5pm BST (London time, 9am Pacific and Noon Eastern). We ask for a donation of any amount to join in or to receive the recording. During the 2 hour call, we will share teaching together, lead a guided meditation to connect with your true sovereignty and surrender, as well as have space on the call for men who’d like to share or receive reflection.

You can send a donation over PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/jelelleawen

Or make your donation to join in through our shop here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

And I will forward the Zoom link from there when I see your donation.

All the details to join in are here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

Jelelle and I are also hosting a group call the week before the men’s call mentioned above on Sunday, April 18th called ‘Digesting the covid narrative’. That’s this coming Sunday, and I’d love to have you join in to that also if you feel called.

Details for the above group call with Jelelle Awen and I are here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

We are leading like minds and hearts into their own power while being in deepening proximity and connection and nourishment.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

You Are Invited! Men’s Group Calls Each Month

By  Raphael Awen

Quick video invitation to join myself, Aurius Amara and James Elphick this Saturday, March 27 at 5pm GMT (London time) for our Men’s group call on the topic of ‘Adequacy, Power and Vulnerability’.

We ask for a donation of any amount to set your intention and exchange with us. Read on/listen in to get the tone and see where to sign up. We very much welcome your curiosity and hope you join us.

How do you as a man relate to your sense of power in the world?

How does that make you feel either adequate or inadequate?

Where would vulnerability factor into the expression of your power and sense of adequacy?

As men, we can be quick to embrace anything that affords us a sense of adequacy and power, and slow to let go of anything that feels like it will lessen that comfort zone. Even what we reach towards in spiritual or community settings can be so tailored to this need to buffer this feeling of ‘getting ahead’ in this way.

But where do we find the pause button long enough to explore the more vulnerable questions about whether a choice or endeavour or relationship is really what we most deeply want? How do we know if we are choosing our growth vs. our comfort zone?

‘What is it that you really want?’ is maybe the most profound question that you as a man need to ask yourself, as well as the most sorting question that can be asked when it comes to relationships. Your wanter is already leading and guiding the way, what’s left is become familiar with your wanter – the part of you currently leading your wants and wishes.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a way to get to know and feel the parts of you that are oriented to life in this way without judging them in any way. Here begins an exit off the treadmill of ‘shoulds’ where even the prescription to be more real or more vulnerable can be related to as a higher form of attaining adequacy or power.

These are the questions we will explore together, offer teaching, and transparent personal reflections about our journey in this men’s group call on Saturday, March 27th hosted by SoulFullHeart Teachers/Facilitators and Sacred Masculine bridges Raphael Awen and Aurius Amara. We will also be joined by James Elphick, who is an active member of the Soulfullheart community. The three of us currently live in close proximity and shared purpose in Glastonbury, England, also known as Avalon, the heart chakra of Gaia.

During the call, we will also enter a time of guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector, the part of you that has the most domain when it comes to your adequacy, power and vulnerability. Just meeting this part of you, getting a feeling sense of them for the first time or the hundredth time is what opens out the deep heart and soul places that you have been wanting to venture into. In other words, the key to your dreams is not more will power, or more adequacy, but instead you showing up to get to know these parts of you who feel so much about your life, your dreams, your regrets, etc. As this happens more and more, your life gets to enter new configurations in all areas of your life, because it’s shifting on the inside.

The call will be at 5pm/17:00 GMT (London, UK timezone/12 Noon EST/9:00am PST) and hosted over Zoom. The call will be 2 hours in duration.

You can join us live (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the group live, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us.

This group is open to the public and to all men over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy exchange of whatever donation you feel to give. You can purchase the Zoom link to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email at soulfullheart.org/shop

Or you can make a donation for it here through Paypal: paypal.me/raphaelawen

We will send you the zoom link via email.

Please make a note in the Paypal transaction that you are purchasing the March 27th Men’s Group Call and check that your email on Paypal is current, as this is the email we will send the zoom link to unless you request it sent to another email.

The call will last a max of two hours depending on those that want to share their experiences and ask questions.

Here is a timezone converter (call is at 5:00pm GMT London, London time): https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

For more info or to share with a friend:

– Here is the Facebook Event Listing: https://www.facebook.com/events/427115595032366

https://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

Very warmly,

Raphael Awen, Aurius Amara and James Elphick

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Healing The Legacy Of Fatherhood To Access Our True Power, Adequacy, And Vulnerability

Today I have been feeling how much my leadership and relationality is rooted in the legacy of my birth father. My relationship to Power, Adequacy, and Vulnerability come in large part from my modelling of it from him. I am not blaming, I am noting, realizing, and taking responsibility for that. I get to change the course on that one by feeling and owning where it lives in me.

What also lives in me are the ways in which he modelled something healthy and true. None of us are all good or all bad. We have qualities we have a sense of ‘mastery’ over and other qualities we don’t. When I have felt that ‘not so good’ feeling about myself or my place in the world, I know there is something rooted in what I was steeped in as a child, as well as the collective and the soul.

As I have continued to step more into my worth, mission, and leadership, I can feel the ways in which I am healing that legacy within me. The shadow and the wounding get to come front and center and I can be with that in a compassionate way, not as it being a ‘part of the problem’. My father gave birth to my own version of ‘father’ that is now coming online as a leader, space-holder, and way-shower.

My own Fatherhood is about feeling my own empowerment (worth), care for others (compassion), and directness (truth-telling). These all come from a process around Power, Adequacy, and Vulnerability. It brings what lies in the Shadow into the Light not to be analysed or judged, but felt, seen, and integrated. I have a new relationship to these three portals now that I can feel how both my birth father and my inner father have related to and experienced them.

We don’t need to be, or haven’t needed to be, a father in this life to feel where this energy lies within each of us. When we go into these doorways, we are taking one step further into not just our own healing but the healing of the collective and the planet. The Patriarchy is rooted in Disempowerment, Inadequacy, and Invulnerability. It doesn’t feel good about itself. Actually, it feels like shit about itself. It is also existentially afraid of its own shadow. This lives in our own inner patriarchs/fathers. The wheel will continue to spin unless we address these things. No amount of suppressing and non-feeling will get us there. It may be a messy process at times, but so very needed.

If you are resonating or curious about this for yourself, Raphael Awen and I are hosting a Men’s Group Call on this very thing this Saturday, March 27 at 5pm GMT (London Time). It will be a two-hour call with a guided meditation to meet an Inner Protector aspect (possibly your inner father) that holds the keys to these doorways. It will be over Zoom for a donation of any amount. Go to this link for more info and how to donate:

www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

We both look forward to connecting with men that are feeling the struggle yet desire for healing and perspective around these emotions and energies with compassion and hopefully offer some going-on places as well.



*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Firing On All Cylinders: Feeling The Blocks To Passion And Purpose

There is this deep desire to have sex with Life Itself. I don’t mean that in the physical way, of course, but energetically. This fire that wants and NEEDS to create, serve, and heal. In that, it also needs to destroy, illuminate, and transmute.

SoulFire is part of our essence, as is SoulCare. One has a masculine edge, the other a feminine one. Together they make life meaningful, purposeful, and alive. This is not to judge any state you may find yourself in as ‘less than’ or ‘lacking’. It is just noting what feels alive and true and what doesn’t. It is in that awareness that you can feel where the fire is and isn’t. Where the care is real and where it is hidden.

You can imagine yourself like the engine of a vehicle that has cylinders where pistons move through to create the spark by which the engine runs. Sometimes we feel like we are running on all our cylinders and others we may only feel like we have half of them online. Like a mechanic, you can ‘go under the hood’ and see why certain cylinders aren’t firing.

It’s no so much a fixing in the 3D sense, but more of a feeling and heart presence as to what is not letting Love do its job, which is to provide you with the fuel you need to be fully alive and aware of itself.

There can be so much build-up inside your cylinders, or heart channels, that it can bog you down into states that take you into dark times. These are moments of deep rest and deep feeling. Sometimes space-holding can help move things and get clarity as well as an opening to more Love and context.

In two weeks, Raphael Awen and I will be holding a men’s group call about Power, Vulnerability, and Adequecy. These feel like big topics for men and there ongoing ascension and healing journeys. We will also be posting a video soon, with our soul brother James Elphick, having a conversation and meditation about this very thing.

We invite all of our male friends here to join us on this call as well as have a dialogue about what you feel is preventing you from full living and being your most empowered and passionate self. To all our female friends, please tell anyone you feel would be interested.

http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

We both look forward to meeting and connecting with other men around these topics as well as offering our space-holding services. These times are showing us our strengths as well as our challenges and needs. We hope to be a part of that ongoing awakening to our liberated, wild, and alive being in the world.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Preface To ‘The Quest: A Men’s Healing And Ascension Journey’

I started working on a book about the quest of the sacred masculine and its healing journey about this time last year when I was apart from my soul fam in SoulFullHeart. Of course, it couldn’t help itself from being anything less than what I had learned. It was a way for me to see myself, feel myself, and hopefully help other men in the process.

I have gone back to it recently and felt a pride in what I started and feel drawn and guided to continue on. I may share excerpts along the way as they highlight themselves. Today, I felt to share the Preface as it has relevance to our current collective situation and how are huMANity and masculinity relate to it. I look forward to where this journey takes me in my leadership and service of love to the men (and women!) it is meant to land in.


“IT IS CURRENTLY 2021 and I find myself, along with all of humanity, in a very tumultuous time in history. A global pandemic of fear, psychological and informational warfare, disclosure, and governmental authoritarianism is reigning supreme in our collective drama. Those that have been ‘elected’ or determined to be the leaders of the glorious mothership we call Earth/Gaia, are showing themselves to be ‘emperors with no clothes’.

I started to write this book about the awakening, sacred masculine right around the time the world went into a frenzy of lockdowns and an ever-mounting case load of information showing that we are being hooped and reigned in by a consciousness that is dystopian, dysfunctional, and dis-integrated. There are cries that the Old Guard of the Patriarchy be taken down and dis-membered (many times expressed literally!). There is the disclosure of the ‘Deep State’ as well as the hidden hand that is its ‘Luciferian’ influencer.

I put words in quotes not to dismiss them, but to highlight that these words are portals into something more contextual and less exact. This is not a book about evidence, data, or convincing this or that. It is about feeling within the current circumstance we find ourselves in as human beings, and more specifically as the masculine side of that equation (more on what I mean by that in the following Introduction.)

The male/wounded masculine dominance of the past few thousand years is being brought to trial and exposure by the collective arising feminine as well as the awakening, healing masculine. This is not an anti-man exploration. My journey has been to find the roots of our collective wounding through my own personal healing and introspection/integration process. In my heart it is very PRO-masculine, the healed transmutation of what has not been working and the honoring and cultivation of what has.

As men on a quest for our authentic expression and embodiment in this drama, we are being called to initiate ourselves into something new that brings us face-to-face with the Shadow that is appearing right in front of our very eyes these days. We are being invited to seek our calling and purpose in this death and rebirth process known as ‘Ascension’.

We all have a huge part to play in the years to come. Yet to recreate and rebuild I feel we need to do that from a more healed and honest place within us. Who we truly are is a result of seeing and feeling what we have been through with a courageous and compassionate heart as well as passionate conviction to be the change we want to see in the world.”


Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a Men’s Group Call on Saturday, March 27 via Zoom at 5pm GMT. The topic will be Power, Adequecy, and Vulnerability. We will be doing a video conversation and meditation soon to bring this into clarity. But until then you can visit our page at: www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more info and donations for the link.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

A Common Challenge For Awakening Men

By  Raphael Awen

I had the pleasure of holding space for a man yesterday in session space over zoom and we encountered something together that feels really common for awakening men.

As he described some precious and powerful awakenings with Yeshua and many new places of openings recently, I couldn’t help but feel an anxious undertone in his sharing, so I just asked if he could feel a part of him that is vigilant about keeping up with awakening, and that opened out a whole portal to go into together where we felt and saw that the efforting and vigilance about awakening was being used to avoid an inner well of ‘persistent hollowness’. We were able to see and feel the part of him who lives in this hollowness and begin to see him as the one who holds vast access to creativity, as well as the men’s version of the womb, what’s known as the Hara.

This all felt so familiar to my own process of being out of touch with my own grief over the years, and with that of course, my own depression. I didn’t have any depression as near as I could tell, for decades actually, but truth was, part of me had just done an outstanding job of keeping it buried. I was quite a stellar human then, liked by many, but the treadmill of the efforting was starting to wear the benefits thin and the costs were tabulating.

I don’t think anything would have changed for me were it not for a crisis, and in some ways, an ongoing series of manageable mini crisis’ if you will.

Together in session with this man yesterday, we began to feel the call to really begin to bridge to this part of him, curiously and with open heart, get to know his reality. Negotiate with him to return out to play, not as another item on the to do list or the to be list of awakening, but just as a natural longing and appetite to get to know.

Then we felt THAT to be the ending of the efforting, as the efforting was actually being used to keep this part’s world and reality suppressed inside, when life is actually ripening this part’s reality to the surface.

I so don’t feel I could have bridged these realities inside of myself and my own healing/awakening process without ‘parts work’ as it is known. Without parts work, we just leave the part of us to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, without them feeling a you there to be with them, to bridge and support them in the changes they wish to make, kind of like the physically present, but all too often emotionally absent parents we experienced in growing up.

When the bridging occurs between you and a part of you, the perception of what both the problem and the solutions are also shift and change and whole new worlds emerge that were not seen before.

This is the magical portal that our wounding is, offering us sacred entry into dimensions not seen or known yet. Spiritual fixes for depression or anxiety aren’t much better than the pharmaceutical fixes are as both are about the fear and avoidance of this portal.

Being ready to enter this portal is quite organic, and you simply know when you are there. The call and question about sufficient courage is outweighed by the growing inability to hold up the old way any longer.

Whatever needs to be surrendered in order to enter the portal is kind of like shrinking your life into a 2 suitcase limit on a one way overseas airplane flight. You only have 23 kilos per bag, so the question becomes about what’s coming or not. Really, you can only take yourself, and a few most necessary items. The life you’ve created and accumulated needs to be largely or completely let go of. Socially, this is probably the hardest as our underlying and unconscious social agreements are about each of us promising to remain proximal in both geography and within a certain consciousness bandwidth with one another. You could say that we co-sign one another’s agreements to stay in resonant around remaining small, that is until we default on the agreement.

Some around us understandably get pissed, and rightfully so. We were the best exemplars to the agreement, maybe even better than the others in the picture were. And now, you’re the one pulling the pin. You also have some apologies to make, but the crazy thing is, no one wants the apologies, they want you to return, but crazier still is that you’ve already morphed beyond the place where that could even be possible. There’s nothing left but to honour that with grief and sorrow and goodbyes.

‘You’re the one who changed’ my best friend once told me while out on a hiking trail trying to bridge a conversation about the growing differences between us. He was right. Our unspoken agreement had been about remaining true to a code of values, purpose and meaning. My emerging  values, purpose and meaning we’re leaving the parameters of our agreement. My old me simply couldn’t fit in the suitcase any longer and my departure date was fast approaching.

It wasn’t but a couple years later that I sat across from this friend at breakfast, with tears, and said goodbye to him, to our friendship, as where I was going was only going to leave both of us strained in a very unreal friendship, something neither of us were really capable of.

Life, real life, always brings up new enterings and leavings in this way. All of life could be summed up as a series of beginnings and endings in this way, and the most adapted to this reality, in their ability to feel grief and sorrow are truly the happiest campers. Joy comes in the morning and through the mourning.

What is it in life that is shifting and rumbling for you? What are you being asked to grieve and let go? How could you do that in a way that doesn’t leave you more wounded, withdrawn and reserved?

Could I help you make that transition? Could I help you embrace your bigger you? Could I help you find your soul family and passion purpose calling expression?

I moved into a new and brave world as a beginner, and have made some discoveries that may one day bear my name, but for now they are just here being offered to you, as these discoveries need more bold souls to test drive the living, loving and learning. Then it can be our discovery, and not just mine.

I would so welcome hearing from you, more about me and sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can email me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. Sessions are for 90 minutes and cost $100 usd. You may also be drawn to one of the three other current SoulFullHeart facilitators, my wife, Jelelle Awen, Aurius Amara, Kasha Rokshana, whose info is also at the link above and who can be reached at the same email address above.

The pic above is from a recent group day with six of us here in Glastonbury/Avalon. We look shiny and lovely because we are most of the time, but also not without some serious mess in the playful bliss, both as couples and as a community.

Love,

Raphael 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Our next group call:

taking place on March 14th @ 5pm GMT (London, UK) with Raphael and Jelelle, which will focus on Sacred Sexuality. More info on that call can be found here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/