Unfolding And Transforming Through Emotional Process Work

by Kalayna Colibri

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This stunning artwork is by Julia Watkins

It’s a phase of unfolding and unfurling. A time of feeling through the constricted, tense places inside that have been protecting the most precious places and parts, the most vulnerable aspects of myself and my soul too. It’s personal and it’s not too. I feel how these new movements that reveal more going on at a deeper stratum inside “me” is also a reflection of the collective. This work builds bridges from me to me and also from me to you, making it so exciting to be with even though there are challenges too! It’s really about uncovering a LOVE bridge, built by and of love. This is a major motivator to keep going IN, remembering that it’s all about love anyways and in that, there can be no harm and no suffering, if love is truly, deeply let in in the process.

I’m venturing into deeper soul territory now, as my 3D emotional/pain body continues to heal. I feel like it’s unfolding like the petals of a flower. Like a lotus, the heart continues to open, growing UP from the mud felt and held and healed within. There is a part of me that I’m beginning to feel very poignantly, who wants to keep a hold on the soul frequencies and pain from emerging fully. She needs me first, it feels like, before much of that can be ventured into, which is fine. There is nothing linear about this process anyways, so it does feel like no matter what, all that I came into this life with the intention of healing, IS healing on a quantum level. Starting from the 3D roots of our humanity here and now, helps anchor us into a seabed that gives us the energy to keep traveling UP. To keep moving UP. I feel a deep honoring of my emotional body, “then” and NOW. I can see the messes and fires I’ve walked through. I can still smell the burning rubber of my inner Maserati, traversing the highways of self at an accelerated pace throughout my whole life so far.

As the intense throes of inner self-punishment and control, frequencies of “needing to KNOW and prove that I KNOW” continue to dissolve from my field more and more, I feel so much humility emerge around how parts of me have held life up ’til now.  It was so easy to slip into arrogance, awakening at a very young age and feeling my soul gifts start to emerge too. Nothing has been more humbling than letting myself NOT know and instead BE. BE with what IS inside of me, and inside of others. BE with others instead of merge with others. FEEL myself instead of cover it all over, which has helped me to actually feel others too. I have always been empathic, yes, yet a big lesson around this is that parts can use empathy to push away and not allow in genuine, heart-based compassion… unless these parts have first been filled up by your compassion for THEM

I feel as if I am “on my way”, whatever that means right now! A brand new life chapter is opening out now and I’m excited to be with all of you on it too…. however, whenever, wherever we connect. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

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There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.