Tag: healing path

Trusting The Gravity Of Our Emotions

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

eagle in water mirror

 

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next pending edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places. Trusting in them is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece of it all, can’t it?

There is a lot to learn to love about our emotional reality, even though the heaviness can sometimes feel as if it invades what would otherwise be a fairly smooth existence. Emotional waves passing through and over us need our attention, our love, our passion for finding purpose and meaning. In the deadest seeming desert there is still movement underneath, around and behind its stillness and winds waiting to sweep through and shake it all up. In the calmest waters, there is abundant life finding its way through inner space beneath the glassy surface, winding its way through shifting currents, being brought to different depths below. Our hearts, our souls, our bodies, our minds, are all teeming with life, with reactions, with weight, with movement, and it all wants to bring us to the next juncture on our paths. All of this wants to bring us more love and be IN more love itself.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still, but sometimes… sometimes there’s a crash landing needed first. Sometimes there is just that unavoidable trip down into the darkness, where our tallest, farthest reaching gardens can live and thrive. The darkness isn’t ‘dark’ at all, just a void, avoiding love, and with all good reasons for wanting to do so, yet the cost of staying in this lack place is often paid in years spent only dwelling here and not realizing there is another side to this cave.

We must feel our full-weight before we can leave gravity behind.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Honouring Our Necessary Doubts In 4D Consciousness

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Leena Colibri

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Though our souls feel drawn to the light and to the most exquisite colours and textures of love imaginable, there can still be a bubbling up of necessary doubts. Necessary in the sense that this is an aspect of us that needs our center to feel, hold and guide it and also, there are plenty of ways in which love actually pushes up these doubts within us, asking us to discern for ourselves what it feels like it is in our lives. Feeling ourselves in this way can really open up a whole other experience of love (and the light of illumination that comes with it) and land it deeper within us. In terms of ascension, we can talk about this as being in 4D consciousness, where there are many questions on our way to our own inner truth and certainty.

Those times of wanting proof, desiring something tangible to land in, looking for a concrete playout of love in our lives and in the world, is something we seem wired up for and it also feels like an invitation to eventually come to a place within ourselves where love can express deeper and more fully, first within us and then outside of us. Sometimes the most incredible and grounded hearts and souls who become spiritual teachers are the ones who have undergone awakenings on many different levels – and I can almost guarantee you that they weren’t afraid to have their doubts along the way.

What is a quest but a journey filled with questions and many different corners to turn and paths to draw and take? Some souls are so big and ancient, that they need those very intense periods of doubt and density in order to find their way through it and into the love polarization again, but this tme, in a much bigger, brighter way than ever before. They are just another expression of love finding its way back to itself through hardships, abuses, and other numerous and often very challenging life circumstances. None of us who are living into embodying ascension are souls who have “had it easy”. Letting this in, we can feel so much more compassion and also reverence for all souls everywhere, no matter what they have chosen. No matter the ways in which timelines shift, we are infinite and we are playing something out for our own growth and the growth of the collective consciousness we are intrinsically connected to.

Doubting is just as sacred as believing. Sometimes these doubts bring us back into the conditioning that many of us were raised with (by culture and birth family), that the more negative outcomes are the ones more real than the positive outcomes. This is also sacred, though that may feel a bit thorny and hard to swallow. For those souls who find it easier to trust that the worst case scenario is always the most likely, that is something that often needs to be walked out and is just as sincere an expression of their power as those souls who choose optimism. There is a thought pattern of “what goes up, must come down” that feels so central to 3D belief systems and is not only about the law of gravity, but also the feeling that being in a higher in vibration and more IN love will ultimately have a big come down and even a crash. There is a way that yes, this has to be true for us at times on our growth paths, as going upward also means coming back down and going inward when necessary, that is, until we don’t need this anymore, which I like to hold that someday will be true for all of us and that for some of us, this is already what’s true! If we can claim that those “crashes”, often signifying some wounding that we need to be with, is just as important as the high of healing, then we offer ourselves and those wounded parts of our hearts and souls a big pillow to land it.

So at the end of the day, as real as “days” are ;), there is nothing to really keep us down and in doubt but ourselves and what we’ve signed up to experience and learn from. In my experience, it feels like as we heal, we can feel more and more a growing center that wants to stay in the more natural “highs” of healing and love flow. If we exclude our doubts from our inner worlds, we could be denying ourselves some healthy discernment and also some more doorways into a deepening experience of what it truly means to be Infinite Love embodied. It seems also, that these doubts can then surface as self-sabotage and more negative play outs if they aren’t felt and negotiated with in the moment. I also feel the Archangels offering me in the moment, that not feeling even these feelings of ours, can actually block them from accessing and truly knowing us, more so than the feelings themselves might! THAT feels like real Divine love to me… a willingness to help us be with what we are feeling and arise with it, rather than bury and rise above it.

You are goodness and love embodied, carving out its way through this world through moment-by-moment choices. Your chosen expression of it is yours alone and every single thing you are feeling through is just as important for your personal growth and ascension as any books you may read or teachers you may lean into. ❤

https://youtu.be/s3lEzZOO990

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Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com