BEing The Love Sponge That You Are

By Jelelle Awen


Your heart and soul are like a sponge….wanting and needing the water of love to fill UP and feel UP. You may feel dry, after much time of settling for less than the deepest and nourishing waters. You may feel thirsty, after much time of shrinking your actual requirements and needs to get by and survive. You may feel hungry, after much time of living on crumbs rather than the full meal deal that love provides.

As PURE love comes in…..through your self healing, through your sacred relationships with others, through your deepening connection with guides and the Divine, so does your capacity to let in expand and expand….widening out. You begin to feel how you ARE love and so you need it, yes, and you ARE it and you are self generating it too in overflow with others more and more.

You are a love sponge in your essence….it is WHAT you are made of and your capacity is so much more than you may now realize or what parts of you will allow you to desire. Begin to SOAK up the love that is INside you and that is ALL around you!


Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

An Intro To The SoulFullHeart 7 Key Areas Of Life For Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri


In this writing today, I want to take you with me somewhere. Actually, I’d like to set my internal compass for that, with everything I write to you from now on. So this is the invitation: come on this journey with me. See what there is for you to feel into for yourself. Everything I say to you is grounded in my own experience and guidance. This is a personal thing for me and I want to share from this place in my heart that digests and feels everything happening in my own world and then, in turn and yet simultaneously, the world around me. Nothing that I say is “Bible” and everything is “near as I can tell”. That being said, do come with me and collaborate with me! Let’s grow these ideas and experience our own growth and consciousness expansion TOGETHER!

In SoulFullHeart, there are 7 areas of life that we hold to be key for our healing and understanding of ourselves. They are ways in which we can check up on what’s going on for us and how we are relating to life and even ascension. With each of the entries in this series, you may immediately feel a niggle or knowingness of some kind and some doorway into your most inner reality that maybe you haven’t quite gone to yet. Maybe you have actually explored these places before, as I did before meeting Jelelle and Raphael and starting my own SoulFullHeart process. If you can let me, my words, and my energy in, you will be letting in a huge gust of SoulFullHeart love and support for you to continue this exploration into the depths of yourself.

As we talk about ascension, this is where the work must always begin to be on this journey in the most grounded, thorough way possible – inside ourselves. If you follow my favourite show on called Cosmic Disclosure, you will have heard Corey and David talk about this need to go inside and heal our hearts or our service to others won’t be as centered in the heart as is necessary right now. I can already feel that this is something so important to each of you taking this in… it was, is, and always has been for me too. This is why I engage so deeply in this work on myself, so that I, in turn, can serve you with love and serve love WITH you, too. What you are receiving now, is an infusion of the overflow of love coming straight from my heart, finding its way into yours. I know that it has often been hard to trust when someone says that they “love you”, especially being the sensitive, huge, inter-dimensional souls that you are, knowing full-well that sometimes we can say that to each other and not really mean it. It’s okay if that’s how you feel. Love is coming at you anyways, from me, from angels, from star beings, from Mother Gaia, and even from you and the love you are made of already.

The 7 key areas of life that I mentioned before, and that I will talk about in depth throughout this series, are: financial, environmental, social, mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. I will offer you some words around each of them so that you can let in how we see and feel each area through the SoulFullHeart lens, and how I feel each area applies to you as an Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, and/or Starseed soul. You might feel some overlap with other healing paths you’ve looked at or been on before, but you’ll also get something brand new out of the experience if you’re open to it. Actually, I suspect I will too, as this is something I’m digesting for my own healing as well. Each area can carry with it some intense challenges for us, as some of us have reincarnated many times, yet some may have not and could be brand new to life here with Mother Gaia. Some areas may also been easier for some of us than others, and we’ll have a look at that together too. As much and as often as possible, I will tie everything back into ascension, since that’s actually the main reason why all or most of us have chosen to incarnate here at this time. You’ll notice that as we ascend, there are different ways in which each area will express in our lives, and I will touch on that as well.

I am a teacher and guide yet I am also a student, and we are all big souls here, learning how to really step into our bigness and express our soul gifts from our ever-healing and expanding hearts. There are many, many places we can go together on this path, and I’m hoping to start some conversations with you who want to learn more but also with you who want to offer how it’s all been for you from your own perspective.

So, if you feel the desire, please keep an eye out for my next blogs in this series, and let’s travel inward, onward and upward together. ❤

If you’re curious to read more about me, you can visit my bio here.

You can also read more of my writing here.




Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at


Shifting Your External Circumstances By Shifting Your Internal Experience

By Jelelle Awen

Image by Bragitta Hodgson

Being YOU no matter the context, situation, or environment is a profound invitation for growth and awakening. Being the version of you that is spacious and sees the bigger picture, feels the deeper connection to life and Divine Source. And then, slipping and dipping, going down, being triggered, being ‘fused’, feeling emotions. And then, back up again to yourself when you can find yourself again and the situation is ‘right’ and the day is set up for it and the circumstances support it…

The circumstances offered by relationships, jobs and careers, geography, money, etc. impact you in these ways of lowered frequency, of not feeling like your higher self, when you need that reflection still, when you need something to rub up against, when you need the grist that it provides. These circumstances are sacred (as pain is sacred), yet, too, there is an invitation to consciously feel what the circumstances are reflecting to you and IF this is still YOU or not. The invitation is to feel if you want to BE what the circumstances are reflecting about you or not.

This is where the Universe invites you to go within, to FEEL and LOVE and KNOW yourself. Your ‘outer circumstances’ ONLY change when your inner reality does. There is NO other way. In 3D reality, it has been presented and we’ve been conditioned the opposite to this: WHEN my circumstances change, I will be happy. WHEN the externals of my life get better, I will feel joy. WHEN the situation outside of me improves, I will feel whole. However, the deeper truth that our soul knows is that only WHEN your internal experience changes and shifts does the external reality shift to reflect it.

This is where your POWER is. This is where your responsibility lives. INside. In self intimacy. In-to-me-I-see that is intimacy. And in this seeing of self you can see what and who you REALLY are versus what you have been conditioned to feel that you are. You can lift the veil of amnesia you chose as a soul and start to remember and see who you REALLY are and your multidimensionality and how much power you have. If your external circumstances are making you consciously unhappy and you are suffering over them, then this who you ARE in this phase of your journey. Is this being of YOU as you are seeing ok with you or do you want to BE something different? If you are consciously unhappy and looking for answers to not be anymore, then you are most likely wanting to see and feel something else.

As you awake and heal your heart, your soul, your body, your mind then you raise your vibrational frequency. The wounded frequencies create a magnet inside of you, drawing more wounded experiences and circumstances which perpetuates the cycle of suffering. You need this cycle until you don’t need it anymore. Until you have experienced enough love inside to let it go and your frequencies are healing and higher so that you are drawing more higher love frequencies from the outside to reflect your inside.

In SoulFullHeart spaceholding through sessions, we serve you to go within, we template for you how it feels when the internal reality of self love and higher self is more and more embodied and expressing and so drawing more and more external circumstances that reflect this goodness back to you. We support you to make CHANGES in your life to reflect this growing sense of self love at a pace led by you. It is all generated by you and your growing intimacy with SELF in the form of re-union with your inner family, your soul family, your angelic family, your star being family….and your selves that are represented in all these frequencies.

This is a transition, this being and claiming of true self expression and then having your external reality reflect this. I feel it is ALWAYS a transition in some form or another as we are ALWAYS growing in some form or another. Yet, too, there is a tipping point in this ascension journey where you no longer draw nor desire an outer reality of suffering, unhappiness, or frustration. You still make room and hold space for pain that comes up from inside of you yet you are no longer ‘flooding the decks’ of your ship with unhappy waters triggered by current circumstances. This IS possible as you go within, seek support, DO and BE something different in how you relate to self. This IS possible as you experience more love, reach a saturation point, and feel more and more that you ARE love and deserve love.

Jelelle Awen

Note: Stunning image of a healing heart and soul is by amazing artist Bragitta Hodgson

Premise 7: Self Love Arises Through Deconditioning, Individuation, and Differientation

By Raphael Awen


Are you ready to go on a moments notice?

Welcome to day seven of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’ We’ve weathered yesterday’s storm and it looks like some very calm sailing ahead today. You can read the writings I’ve done on the other premises here.

Today, we’re entering the waters of Union With Self, or intimacy with self.

Here’s the Union With Self Premise:

“Union with Self arises through heart and soul consciousness awakening, which includes deconditioning, individuation, and differentiation. This leads to the formation of what we call the SoulFullHeart Self and the state of SoulFullHeartenment.”

Until a deep and abiding union and intimacy with self arises, it isn’t actually possible to have any real union with others, or with life, or with the Divine. Nor is it even possible to know to any significant depth what love is. It all begins and ends with self love.

But, what is this so called, ‘self-love’ really?

Careful how quick you are to answer this question, because a flippant answer in the discomfort of the question can leave you missing out.

Certainly everyone has a concept and even a felt reality of what love is and feels like to some degree. But, until intimacy with self is the portal through which love is experienced, one’s love experience is seriously limited.

Love enters the self and is then expressed through the self. The self is the receiver and broadcaster of love. You can only give what you have and according to the degree that you have, out of the overflow. Moral injunctions to love one another were a great social idea at one time, but now, we are awakening to the futility of seeking love from empty vessels under obligation. Most would agree on these points.

Love is one thing, but what is this self-love that I speak of? How do you know you have it? Is there some measuring stick to locate and measure progress in self-love?

What does it feel like most of the time to be you? To be in your skin? In the face of challenges, great or small, can you find deep and abiding rest?

How does love move from you to you if you are only one? Are you supposed to jump up and down to shake it loose to get it to move to produce some kind of desirable chemical-like reaction inside?

Take all these questions along and let’s feel them together as we go.

Love is a relational flow. Like a valentine, It takes more than one to have a ‘to’ and a ‘from’. Love flows from one to an other. This is profoundly true also of self-love. Self-love is the source of all love in fact. I know of no other way for this to be real other than through getting to know parts of yourself or subpersonalities and their love needs. It is the parts of yourself that hold your pain and wounding on both soul and personal levels.

Many people have worked hard to attain a state of having it all together, and by that are very predisposed to maintaining their emotional equilibrium and consider themselves as knowing and having self-love, given their ‘having their stuff together’ and being some kind of functional exemplary human. I offer that these souls are actually the ones in greatest need and the farthest removed from actual self-love. They need to remain aloof from their own pain and wounding held by parts of themselves in order to keep their gig afloat.

On a more accurate level, these souls have actually had their human life hijacked by what SoulFullHeart calls their Protector-Controller part of themselves and this part has taken up doing their life AS them, and there is largely no authentic self at home, except for a part working too hard at being authentic.

Coming into this new ground of self to self love takes a heart and soul consciousness awakening that is profound and deeply life altering to see the self through this perspective and yet, in another way, it’s so natural and truly effortless compared to the ton of effort it takes to hold what I call our ‘single personality disorder’ together.

To take this road, there are some ongoing requirements however. To get started, you essentially only need choice. To continue, there are some ‘pay as you go’ realities. First up is being comfortable being in a continual place of deconditioning. We live in a conditioned world, and entering a new one involves deconditioning from the old one.

That, of course, is all part of individuation and differentiation. You can only decondition to the degree you are ready to individuate. The collective isn’t going to pat you on the back for long for striking out on your own path, particularly when your path steps on the toes of their path.

Here’s a secret though. Individuation and differentiation do not begin with you and the world, or with you and an other. They begin with you to you. It is only as you get familiar with parts of yourself and the very different relationships to life they hold that true individuation and differentiation can begin to occur. Without this piece, it is a part of you having the differentiation and individuation experience.

It is only as your authentic self, that we call the SoulFullHeart Self, arises into life getting to know, and mediating life’s reality for each of your parts that a new and unheard of relationship to life comes.

Without the SoulFullHeart Self available for your parts, it’s like being one of large group of siblings and a parent present who can’t see your differences, your unique gifts or your unique needs. Essentially, from the perspective of a parts reality, you are not seen at all. Then all there is left is to form a reality of existence that can function in the absence of love. This is where are parts are anchored until we show up for them in this new way.

When you do begin to show up for your parts as a loving parent, you magically transmute into more and more of your authentic self, not only who you would have been without wounding, but the healed self is so much more because of the wounding. It is only the broken heart that knows Infinite Love like no other.

Loving and living life in this frame leads to a non-static ‘state’ that we call SoulFullHeartenment. It is full of movement and deepening and abiding self-love. It is your souls ‘home and native land’ that it hasn’t ever actually experienced or known before. It is totally a creative place.

If you’ve done enough reading and want to get on with a process to live your way into this place, let’s talk. PM me and let’s find a way forward. If you’re wanting to keep window shopping, please, enjoy and take this in as fully as you can. Tomorrow’s tour is about Union with Others and the next day’s is about Union with The Divine. We have another 14 days worth of touring to go with lots more to feel together.

Thank you for your being and letting me take you on this journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Premise 2: Mature the ego and experience Oneness

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day two of our 21 day Magical Mystery Tour of the SoulFullHeart Premises. Today promises to be a big day in premises as we’re exploring our second premise.

‘Why are you offering premises, though?’ you may ask.

Every spiritual or healing practice is premised upon a specific worldview about the nature of things. This worldview dictates what happens and how it happens or doesn’t. It may seem like a mental engagement at first, but for those with a keen eye and heart for what they really want and need, nothing sorts out a choice point like considering the premises of a given healing offering.

When premises are not clearly laid out and available for all participants to consider as they get involved with a group, it all too often leaves them falling prey to conforming to the groups identity out of a codependent and understandable need to belong, rather than choosing to be a part of a community because it lights up your heart and soul growth like no other.

If you’ve been deeply involved in a group or community in the past that failed as a community or simply failed to hold your interest and engagement, I invite you to weigh every single SoulFullHeart premise in these 21 days together and ask yourself, ‘If I ever did join back in with a group again, what would they need to embody for me to get involved?’

SoulFullHeart may not end up being your choice or even what’s right for you, but you will have moved your souls healing path hugely forward by giving your attention to the importance of premises. Premises are what the foundation is to the house.

Ready to go?

Here is the second SoulFullHeart premise:

“SoulFullHeartenment is an awakening state of consciousness involving the paradoxical processes of individuation or ego maturation while healing the illusion of the separate self leading to a deepening sense of union with self, others, and God/The Divine.”

Another mouthful, right? Let’s sort it out and I think you’ll get from this what you are meant to. These are pregnant words carrying a lot of energy and you can have very different experiences of them at different moments. Likewise, me putting more words around them can go in different directions on different days.

Let’s start with the word ‘SoulFullHeartenment.’ We made up this word to carry an energy specific to the result of undergoing the SoulFullHeart healing process. SoulFullHeart is a path of simultaneously healing both soul and heart wounding, or as Jelelle likes to say, ‘healing from our roots and our wings.’ One is not preferred over the other nor is one used to minimize the other.

We feel that where heart wounding is not adequately explored and healed, all of our exploration into soul domains and non-dual states, or simply a healing therapy, are largely a medicative reality for the untouched heart wounding. However, where the personhood ground of the heart is explored and healed, the doorways into soul domains and non-dual awakening are far more natural and effortless portals into our authentic self expression.

‘SoulFullHeart-enment’ then is this place of never ending movement into ever deepening human expressions of our essence as Infinite Love, in both heart and soul frequencies. It’s not a state of attainment, but more likened to living in a parallel universe where it’s your native place of residence from the moment of choosing this inclusive path. All claims of ‘progress’ are surrendered to simply not having any way of measuring anything in an infinite reality. Progress, for what it’s worth, is simply being on the path.

It’s much like trying to describe to others a totally mind blowing sexual experience. It’s obviously new to you, and has you all aglow, but try as you may, there’s no way to quantify what you had. All you can do is claim ‘more than’ in comparison to what you had before. It seems to be one of the few areas that a government bureaucracy hasn’t ever been able to regulate, measure, and tax because it is so immeasurable and so uncontrollable.

Let’s go on now to this piece about ‘an awakening state of consciousness.’ We see that when souls enter a human life, they are largely surrendering to falling asleep and mostly forgetting their true identity and their intentions for their soul healing mission in a given life. It is this ‘having our hands tied behind our back’ in relation to our awakening that calls us from our very depths to forge a deep resolve and choice sufficient to cast off our pre-chosen slumber.

Many are not meant (from their own sovereignty) to awaken this life and instead are working their healing path through staying asleep. One is of no more intrinsic value than the other, and both are God expressions. If you are a soul that has chosen to awaken this life, you are enabled to do this by way of comparative difference, and choosing amongst options and your personal power to act on those choices. It is in this very real human drama setting that your epic healing story occurs.

This awakening consciousness unfolding has a powerful paradox, however, at its root, and two at first seemingly ‘at odds’ vectors. In SoulFullHeart’s picture, they are powerfully, perfectly and inextricably one.

One is your path of individuation. This is the path of coming to terms with being a distinct and defined self, an embodied sovereign human, with boundaries and power to decide, decree, and declare what goes on and doesn’t go on within your borders. And you can’t do any of that without an ego. Ego is seen simply as your centre of awareness and there are no judgments against the ego as being the source of all suffering and pain as taught in so many spiritual practices and traditions.

We feel rather that it is about what our egos are currently attached to, and the relative health or unhealthy nature of those ego attachments that are at issue. However, to remove the ego is to render a person non existent. The premise that ‘self is bad’ is the underground root conviction of these teachings, stemming from undiscovered and unhealed unworthiness at the core of the personal and collective being. You can’t express or have experience as a human without ego and without a persona to conduct life. Some face has to show up for the party.

Doesn’t that all by itself just take a ton of pressure off in relation to all the bullshit you had heaped on you about trying to rid yourself of ego?

Now, if your ego is currently attached to Nascar, beer and high fives, you and I aren’t going to have much ego resonance, but rest assured, you’ll be able to find plenty of others with all the ego resonance you need to find enough community and work your healing path in the way that you are, regardless of my judgments about the unconscious nature of your journey.

I’ll have to take my judgments, along with my ego and be on my way seeking resonance around what my ego is currently attached to. And when we’re all said and done, there will be plenty of time to debrief and compare notes with one another and, I’m sure, both learn from each other, over a beer even.

But, it’s about maturing the ego, not obliterating the ego.

You are an individual. The definition of that word contains a deep explanation of how we see the self. In-divi-dual translates out to ‘a duality (dual nature or two-ness) that cannot be divided. You are an inseparable expression of both being utterly distinct and indistinct from everyone else around you. Both are true and it’s only when both are seen and held as true that a healthy relationship with life can unfold inside of you.

All the goodies of individuation are yours, like sex and buying shoes and having a personality. So are all the goodies of being all wrapped up in Oneness, utterly inseparable from All That Is. You already are completely non-dual awakened in this way with the only thing you are working on is becoming more and more conscious of this preexisting fact regarding the true nature of your being. And you don’t have to kill the ego to attain anything.

Forget attainment……It’s tiring and the source of a ton of suffering, control, and superiorizing. Instead, if you need work at something, do like Jesus said and ‘labour to enter into rest’….do your own personal healing that will allow you to let in the spring-loaded essence that you already are, but is yet unmanifest in daily expression.

So, where does all of this take you, then? It takes you to ever deepening union with self, others and the Divine. Union with all of self begins in SoulFullHeart as the crucial getting to know, feeling and healing of our subpersonalities, who hold our this life and past life wounding. This leads the way to true and alive relationality with others and the Divine….all of which are paradoxically one and inseparable from the self at the same time. A relationship by definition requires an other to relate with. It’s a bit crazy making to begin to feel into, that we are both ‘other’ and ‘not other’ simultaneously, but ultimately it is the path to true sanity, because it is in alignment with What Is.

Trying to describe this in words is like the difference in sex between genital friction, as in the clinical word ‘coitus’, compared to a heart, soul and total body having a connection that is so deeply a personal and a transpersonal experience at the same time, where the afterglow goes into infinity and words fall hopelessly short of description.

We are wired in our essence to fire on these cylinders in all the dimensions of our being. We use the phrase ‘Self, Others, and The Divine’ a lot to highlight the essential growth tracks of our relationality. Our personal relationality is founded on the interrelationship of self, other and the Divine. We separate what cannot be separated in order to provide a relational space in order to come back to the utter Oneness and inseparability that we are.
Pretty cool, huh?

I know today’s premise discussion opens out a lot of questions about things we touched on today like subpersonalities, the nature of reality, God, dual and nondual, etc., and I wanted to let you know that these are all coming up as separate premises right around the corner.

Thank you for being on day two of this tour. See you tomorrow sometime after sun up for day three.

I’d really like to know you are on board for this journey, so I welcome your comments and questions.

Please visit our website at for a listing of all the premises and more information.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.