Trusting The ‘Weight’ Of Your Next Healing Steps

by Kalayna Colibri

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places, and it doesn’t really have an end to it, just deeper and deeper to go. Trusting in each process is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece to trust, can’t it?

Falling, willingly, is for the maniac in you. The maniac that is so curious about yourself, your soul, your parts, that living into each layer that needs love and taking in the mirrors that show you these layers is something you look for and look forward to.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still as you let in all that you are, but sometimes…. sometimes there’s a crash landing. Sometimes there are those phases of saying ‘no’ to that which parts of you have clung to in order to keep life ‘just so’ and somehow known, even though you also ache to experience the unknown! The crash though, is a crash into YOU and into LOVE. Your parts fall into the arising you that gets to hold them and the Metasoul Aspects too reacting to the ‘no’ experiences, the life changes, the rekindled desire for MORE coming from your strengthening, growing and opening heart.

Feeling the full weight of how your parts have experienced each ‘fall’ in life, is what brings you and them to more and more experiences of leaving gravity, as you’ve known it, behind. ❤️

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Following Your Dreams And Divine Guidance: Our Story

By Jelelle Awen

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July 15th……this day is special to me because it was a year ago on THIS day that Raphael and I moved from the remote, off-grid ranch we were living at into the city here, Puerto Vallarta, to join Gabriel Heartman andKalayna who had already left and here working. A year ago this day, Raphael and I were crossing a pretty high river with the three dogs (one of them, Canela, tucked into an Ikea bag!), with all of our belongings stuffed into our van. I remember it so well because it was a huge movement out of our comfort zone…not knowing how it would be to live in town again after 18 months living so remotely (and the move to the ranch from Canada had also been a major thrust out of our comfort zones!!!!). Not knowing how it would be live all four of us together (we had to share a two bedroom apartment for a month or more)…we had $40 on us as we drove the two hours into town with some sense of income coming in from Gabriel and Kalayna teaching English online (which was the main reason we moved back into town), but no real idea how we would be able to afford to live here.

I had received a ‘PING’ from the Divine about six weeks earlier that it was time to leave the ranch. We just couldn’t reach and draw the community that we wanted to living there. We couldn’t serve love the way that we wanted to without steady internet access. I had spent 18 months planting seeds in my organic gardens and I wanted to start serving others again to plant THEIR own seeds to bloom and grow. I had written two books during our time on the ranch, went six weeks once without leaving it or going online….I became ONE with nature in a way that I had never before and had many awakening experiences there (which I share about in my book, Keep Waking Up!: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books)

Parts of me had been humbled by the bugs, by the heat, by the simple house we lived in, by the rural Mexican locals who were so grateful for anything, by the rumbles and unpredictability of nature. We had experienced a swarm of flying termites (SO intense!), massive thunderstorms, scorpion bites, dog and personal injuries, and dramas with others living at the ranch too. We lived on $150 a month at one point and ate about 40% of our food from fruit trees and what we could grow in our gardens. We built a small hut out of clay, mud, straw, and sand, enjoying nearly every moment of it and amazed at what our own labor and VERY little money could create! This experience humbled me AND inspired me and gave me much renewed clarity and purified desire around my soul purpose here…… which wasn’t actually to be a gardner (although I sure was open to that one and parts of me would have preferred it!)

I kept seeing myself leading a group of women even though I HAD no women in my life for a certain phase there. I kept writing even though no one was reading it. I kept SEEING people living with us even though no one else seemed to be interested in doing that. And, I kept healing and working with my own parts even though I wasn’t serving anyone else in working with theirs.

It is amazing to feel that it was ONLY a year ago that we moved here to Puerto Vallarta, started going online, and began sharing our writings and videos and other offerings with the world. A year later, and we have other souls coming here with us living near us in community and others who are coming too for visits and to potentially stay here. We’ve been offering group calls since January with growing numbers of souls showing up for those and taking in what we are offering. I have had many sessions with amazing women since about September when I began drawing them. In this moment, I have six women that I am meeting with regularly and some have an interest to become facilitators in the future. We are offering a five day retreat in November with people actually planning to come 🙂 I recently got notice from FB that I have received 38,000 LIKES on my posts that I’ve written during the year! I have shared over 50 writings on Love Has Won, many writings also on in5D.com, many videos on the Higher Self and Receiving Love You Tube channels, some with over 3,000 views on them……AND published a book (Sacred Human, Arising Wonder).

THIS has been a truly amazing year and it SHOWS, I believe, what happens when you follow your heart, guidance, your soul purpose, your reason for BEing here. When you are willing to let go of comfort zones and go into the unknown because you SEE and FEEL what you are meant to offer and you can negotiate with the parts of you that are afraid. It shows, I feel, what love manifests when you are in service of love and how the Universe supports the next and the next….bringing you exactly what it is you most need.

THANK YOU to all of you who have taken in my offerings in the last year…in whatever ways, means, and depths you have. It is an exchange that is VERY meaningful to me and I just see it growing, expanding, and deepening over time. All THIS happened in ONE YEAR…I can’t even IMAGINE what will happen in the next. Well, I can envision some of it, and I def. have some glimpses of the timelines unfolding and they are feeling really GOOD!! Trust your dreams, what your heart most WANTS, what your soul feels that you are HERE to BE and do. Follow all of that and it WILL come into BEing!

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

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Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.