ReUNITEing With Your Inner World In 2018

by Kalayna Colibri

Sense of Wonder

When you were a child, you had a very alive inner world that no one could take away from you. It was your solace, your sanctuary. It likely became the seat too of much fantasy as you grew older and began to crave deep social and romantic connections. Your inner world has always been there for you and you were once in the pilot seat, with incredible self-permission that only deteriorated as the 3D world that acknowledges only a certain brand of logic and a specific way to sense ‘what is real’, began to trickle into you and your parts, more and more, slowly convincing you that it was the only way through life. This was a necessary phase to enter… and perhaps in some ways though, your creativity and imagination never fully ‘left’… indeed, even if it feels to parts of you like it did leave, it didn’t. Your inner world has always been there, preserved somehow and waiting for you to awaken to it once more. Waiting for you to step back into the inner Narnia portal and be where you will always belong and be deeply loved.

It was a self-loving choice to have ‘fantasy worlds’ when you were a child or teenager or even an adult. Perhaps this is why so many of us have leaned into virtual reality in one way or another, as a boost and a way to re-enter this fantasy land again and be away from 3D. I know I certainly did and when I was a teenager, I played video and computer games as often as I could. I had many friends who did too. My rich imagination still thrived… nothing could stop it, somehow. Perhaps many of you feel the same. And yet too, I can feel how for so many it has been necessary to push the pause button on an alternative reality in order to fully enter the territory of growth needed by immersing completely in 3D.

Our 3D tethers, ties, and anchors are still attached to parts of us in different ways, some which are obvious and some which have become very subtle, especially if you are surrounded by others who are living in the same frequency, making it appear normal and OK. It feels like there is a unifying HUM of vibration that joins all at a certain level of consciousness, until you up the ante on yours, reaching and feeling a higher pitch, a higher HUM that takes you into a different space altogether, displacing you from the ‘pack’ you’ve been used to. This experience can bring parts of you into a lofty space that can also be self-righteous and sometimes needs to be in order to push away from the collective. It can bring depression, anxiety, illness, fears, or even numbness, and sometimes all at once as parts of you ping, cling, and thrash against the changes happening within you that they simply cannot stop or control. Ultimately your soul is in charge of all choosing, even if the choice is for a part of you, like your Inner Teenager or Inner Protector, for example, to be ‘in charge’ for a while. Yet you cannot truly escape the pull of this alternative and very enriching reality that lives and thrives inside of you. Your soul and heart are calling you back inward and of course the Ascension energies support and enliven these pulls, whether obvious or subtle, whether expressed through your dreams or your waking life or both.

2018 sure feels like it will be a ‘year’ of alternative realities popping like popcorn, rapidly in some cases and slowly in others, allowing us to acclimate yet also inviting us to make changes Now. We may be surprised by our impulsivity, our intuitive awakenings and dawnings and guidance. There can be no ‘wrong’ choices made, though parts of you will likely judge some of them for a while. If it’s all intended to be an invitation back to YOU, then that’s where it will all ultimately lead, no matter the path, the trajectory, the momentum.

You have an inner crystal cave of goodness and love that awaits your entry once again. The richness of your inner world and parts too, awaits your steps towards reUNION within. ❤

If you feel like you would like some direct support from my beloveds and I who have been on this very journey for quite some time now, feel free to check out what we offer and feel into having a free 30 min intro session with one of us, to feel where this process we call SoulFullHeart can and will take you on your deep healing journey back to YOU: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

We also offer group calls and live stream events on Facebook and YouTube that you can join in on. Tomorrow there will be one taking place at 11:11am CST (Mexico City) with Raphael and Jelelle Awen: https://www.facebook.com/events/2067665806799213/

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

by Kalayna Colibri

kid_dancing_rain

When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

From Wounded to Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

innerchild

The term ‘inner child’ has been around for decades now and most people are familiar with the concept of getting to know the part or aspect of yourself that holds your childhood energy and emotional tones. Because of this familiarity in mainstream culture, people have been more understanding about when we mention that we feel the wounded child in them who, over time and with being felt by them and by us, heals to become frequencies of their magical child.

While the inner child can be suppressed in terms of establishing a….ah well, my magical inner child named Aurora says all this mental stuff is quite boring. She says that the inner children in people aren’t so brainy, logical or rational. They want to have fun! They want to explore! They want cookies! (well it depends on the magical child but this seems to be a universal thing.)

Let me ask Aurora if it’s OK if I share now for a bit and I’ll try not to be so mental about it.

She says, ‘fine’ and, ‘la la la’ and, ‘where’s koda (her dog) so I can pet him?’

Aurora offers me an important reminder though as I’m sitting here trying to think my way through writing an article about this part of ourselves. To not be so in our minds. To enjoy the moment. To truly let in the joy that things we love bring us, whether it is our partners, our pets, our kids, our favorite foods, or our favorite activities. They reconnect us with our innocent and pure essence that we had as children, which got covered over as we grew up by layers of strategy, emotional congestion, and unfelt trauma. They also hold soul expression and gifts as well, especially as they heal and start expressing more of their magical aspects. Some examples are ability to communicate with animals, deep respect and connection with the natural world, psychic capacities including ability to see auras, communication with spirit-based entities in a natural way, natural resonance with the non-dual aspect of reality, etc.

I first felt my inner child when I began a parts differentiation process almost ten years ago. I first found the tone of my “hurt part” through journaling sentence completions “I feel hurt whenever…” The voice and emotional tones of my hurt young part came through very clearly and she called herself Evie. She felt sweet to me but also very heavy and very, very sad. Lonely too. When I asked her to describe the world she lived in, she shared in amazingly accurate detail the bedroom I had when I was in fourth grade, including the canopy bed that I had loved and forgotten about as an adult.

Evie was “stuck” in my bedroom, feeling sad and lonely because my parents had gotten divorced during that time and she was still traumatized by it. Because she hadn’t been felt in a deeply empathetic and heart open way by my parents at that time, she represented the part of me that was still subconsciously wounded and stuck there. And this part of me was subconsciously playing out this pain, sadness, and loneliness in my relationships, especially my romantic ones. Once I became conscious of her through regular journaling dialogues with her, I felt her energy and sadness lighten up considerably. I shared this writing with my facilitators in a group circle and felt her relief and joy at being with a group of such “nice people.”

She also ‘dropped in’ during a few groups to talk directly with my facilitators. Dropping in is not like hypnosis, you are completely conscious and aware of what is happening. You just let this part of you that you have been getting to know through journaling talk to and be felt by other people. I’ve witnessed and facilitated this dropping in process many, many times over the years and I am amazed at how natural, organic, easy, and affective it is for people. And I love it when a serious-looking older man or woman drops into their inner child and becomes animated, young-feeling, and so sweet!

There’s much more I could write about the benefits of getting to know your magical child, yet I’ll let Aurora finish this article out, which seems appropriate.

“Hi! You know my name is Aurora, already. Jillian is right. When she started talking to a different version of me called Evie, I was a very, very sad girl. I felt lots of hurts and didn’t feel like, even though I liked it, that I would ever leave that bedroom. There were lots of barbies and stuffed animals to play with but I was too sad back then to play. But, Jillian is a good mom and we also have the big mom too (the Divine Mother), so I feel happy now almost all the time. Sometimes, especially if Jillian’s daemon Morgaine is around, I’ll go rest or go play somewhere for a while. But also I’ll come out when Jillian goes to the beach with Koda (my favorite thing to do!) or we’ll cook together or watch “Once Upon A Time” which has a evil queen in it but it also has a little boy in it who is also a magical child. I also like the movie, “Babe” very very much. So my life is really good and I have friends too now in the parts like me that Wayne and others have gotten to know. I think you’d like it too. There’s too much serious adult stuff going on and, lots of times, you adults aren’t doing a very good job of it. If you could feel your little boy or girl inside, you probably wouldn’t hurt each other anymore or be so greedy or work so much or be in yucky relationships or hurt children or kill animals.”

Thanks, Aurora, and I just wanted to add that this part of you is already expressing in your life and establishing a conscious connection with them is usually a fairly easy process that we facilitate through journaling dialogue and individual and group sessions. Much easier than getting to know the more strategic and image-based part that we call a persona part and protector-controller, whose job it is to hide, maneuver, and manage perceptions.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.