My Healing ‘Me’ Phase: Sharing My Current Personal Process

by Kalayna Colibri

Service of love is a crucible for growth… the growth of those you serve and your own growth too.

How many times I’ve learned this and been humbled by this…

We cannot downplay the importance of going inward and soberly evaluating ourselves, feeling if we SHOULD be serving others right now or if there’s something that needs us deep within first.

As my beloved friend, teacher and Facilitator Raphael said to me yesterday, “It feels right to take the space from facilitating. Without that, it would feel like trying to get at a foundation with a house sitting on top of it, which would be a whole lot more involved process.” Bingo.

Because of this, I’ve made the choice to step down as a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for this emerging phase of my healing and deep need of ME. My heart and soul feel a strong desire to serve love, yet the first step to that is becoming MORE love through being with myself and my parts. Without doing this, my space holding isn’t as deep as I desire it to be and not as helpful to the facilitant – the person making the vulnerable and courageous choice to lean into me for that 90min and maybe beyond – either. not to mention that the space held isn’t as safe as it needs to be for the healing to flow from my own love overflow into them to support their own.

I feel too how this process is not just about me as an individual. I feel how this is something that many space holders neglect to look at in themselves and as a result their parts can feel “burnt out” or resentful of their clients instead of in collaboration and heart-openness, which can lead to outright abuse or perhaps something more subtle. I feel how there is something for all of us to feel, whether you call yourself a “lightworker”, “space holder”, “wayshower”, “energy healer”, etc about how much you genuinely care about the person you’re offering healing to, how much respect and love you authentically feel for them, and if there are unowned judgments, triggers, pieces coming up inside of you that need you to show up to feel them in your own space, maybe even taking a break from offering healing to others for a phase, in the name of your own healing and self love growth. The biggest block to being able to vulnerably feel all of this inside of yourself feels to be the block of an overfocus on self-image, forgetting and maybe even hiding that you are also a humbly healing and ascending human being.

My beloveds in this community and healing path of SoulFullHeart have brought me many reflections over this past week that have given me plenty of pause and entry points into my heart too… to see why exactly I’ve been the way I’ve been when what I want is to be and serve love. This was a major sign of something big being out of alignment… we cannot put on the “healer hat” and be one way in sessions while we let parts of us run the show in other areas of our life and relationships with far less care, without one reality spilling over into the other sooner or later. And since the shadow is always wanting to be seen, felt and held, of course this is where the spillover is most likely to happen…

As my process unfolds, I’ll probably share more of the clarities I feel, because in this way I still feel called to serve love and see how what I’m discovering lands in the hearts and souls of others. I hope that even this writing which is more personal lands somewhere helpful inside of you. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Healing Separation & Segregation Through Inner Unification

by Kalayna Colibri

Painting: Paintbrush Warrior by Mark Henson

The separation and segregation of people starts INSIDE of everyone… the inner refugees of outer trauma and abuse “wars” are knocking on the door of your heart and soul. Parts and Metasoul Aspects from different timelines and life situations in this lifetime are longing for healing and unification and a great shift in the only realities they’ve ever known.

Parts of you have been separated and suppressed by Inner Punishers, Protectors, Matriarchs/Patriarchs, etc by the good/necessary intentions of these parts to keep them safe. Your Metasoul Aspects from oppressive and intense timelines have been suppressed by your Gatekeeper – the guardian of your soul, who has been waiting for you to become more ready to let these timelines through consciously and bring them into the healing/shifting and eventual unification with you and each other that they most need to experience. You can read more about Gatekeepers here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers and more about parts/Metasoul Aspects here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

This is all a result of 3D conditioning and pain… habits that have been passed down through generations in your family, and supported/enabled by friends, teachers, confidants who also have these dynamics playing out inside of them. Authority figures of all kinds have this happening inside of them too and we see this play out on the world stage constantly.

All of these pieces and parts and aspects are meant to come WITH you as you ascend and especially as you engage deeper in the work of becoming who you are most meant to become.

To lead something different in this ascending world starts inside of you… where the real source of the outrage and pain always comes back to… the only place where you can really, truly, deeply ‘take action’ and make a difference, and the one refuge that you get to have any control over. You are the source of an inner-overflow of love that affects and impacts the world.

This process of going inward when parts of you would prefer to look and go outward inevitably brings you to more compassion too… towards yourself and others, even those you feel challenged to feel any compassion for right now. This challenge of feeling the inner dynamics that are co-creating the situation around you is the one that is the most worth seeing, feeling and being in, because it has the potential to bring the most change in the world and a genuine ascension into higher timelines and higher-dimensional experiences of LOVE.

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There is much support to feel these landscapes and parts inside of your heart and soul. One-on-one Bridging Sessions with myself (women 35 and under), Jelelle (women over 35), Gabriel (men and women), and Raphael (men and women) are available for $55usd min. donation: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Trusting The ‘Weight’ Of Your Next Healing Steps

by Kalayna Colibri

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places, and it doesn’t really have an end to it, just deeper and deeper to go. Trusting in each process is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece to trust, can’t it?

Falling, willingly, is for the maniac in you. The maniac that is so curious about yourself, your soul, your parts, that living into each layer that needs love and taking in the mirrors that show you these layers is something you look for and look forward to.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still as you let in all that you are, but sometimes…. sometimes there’s a crash landing. Sometimes there are those phases of saying ‘no’ to that which parts of you have clung to in order to keep life ‘just so’ and somehow known, even though you also ache to experience the unknown! The crash though, is a crash into YOU and into LOVE. Your parts fall into the arising you that gets to hold them and the Metasoul Aspects too reacting to the ‘no’ experiences, the life changes, the rekindled desire for MORE coming from your strengthening, growing and opening heart.

Feeling the full weight of how your parts have experienced each ‘fall’ in life, is what brings you and them to more and more experiences of leaving gravity, as you’ve known it, behind. ❤️

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: EPIC Energies, EPIC Quantum Transmutational Opportunities

By Jelelle Awen

Vibrating, churning, spinning codes streaming in from the ‘holes to make us whole’ in the sun’s surface. Coming in on SOULar winds up in the high 600’s km/second, these are bringing in geomagnetics since the 5/5 gateway opened UP access to our Higher Self, star family connection, and 5D New Earth experience too.

It feels like these higher frequency SOULar activations are staying around for awhile…at least through the end of May potentially. These energies are combining with Gaia’s churnings and burnings, Her volcanic offgassings/ventings and lava flowings….. with an elevated Schumann/Gaia resonance frequency for hours at a time in the last 24 hours to reflect this higher vibrational shift UP.

The resulting geomagnetic storms are being called, ‘minor’ again by spaceweather.com, yet, those of us sensitive (and meant to be sensitive) to these energies can feel them quite strongly. You may feel them in your body as acute tiredness or need to rest, to go within, to be flat on your back yet with your heart and soul open to receive what comes next. The aches and pains can move with this acceptance and going within too. Yet, too, you may feel excited and ALIVE…like blood is coming back finally to numbed limbs. You may swing between the two states of sleepiness and excitement!

The reason for all this Gaia and SOULar energy activity showing up is because of how many MORE of us are needed to step up and into our service of love purpose here. The transition into collective disclosure of fear polarized realities is intensifying across the board.

I know, parts of you may have so often felt like no one around you gets what you are seeing and feeling and awakening into. That it has felt at times like no one is listening or tracking what you’ve been offering. And parts of you may have felt quite alone at times in your dawning awakening, like you are shouting into an empty room. Parts of me have felt that way MANY times over the years and the corresponding despair and hopelessness and just wanting to ‘give up’ that comes with it.

Yet, there has been good reason for this going ahead of others….to BEcome prepared, to BEcome ready to respond with your heart, to serve as a bridge for those newly awakening and those others that have been for awhile and yet may need your specific frequency of love to be in exchange with them. Feel/discover/negotiate with the parts of you that have resistance, fear, and trauma from not being heard/seen/felt by others in the past (and in other lifetimes/timelines)….and move INTO what you are here to BE and do anyway. More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

The reason for all this energetic activity is to reveal the places and layers and parts of you that need your direct connection and love with them. Yes, you have done loads of ‘healing work’ and clearing and releasing and awakening. Yes, this is true. And, you may have even offered tons of healing space with and to others.

However, this is NEXT LEVEL for ALL of us now. This is going deeper to the CORE of all of our 3D anchored and undigested woundings and traumas PLUS from lifetimes/lifetimes for which our Metasoul/Higher Self Source is experiencing in the now. This is doing multiple lifetimes/timelines of activation in ONE.

This is quantum now. This is galactic now. This is moment by moment choice to BE love in service, even if that looks primarily like to yourself and ALL parts that need you.

It’s not that you are now ‘behind’ in your healing and awakening process. It’s that the Divine is asking you to go somewhere NEW, BEyond where you have been before as a soul in ONE lifetime when starting from a 3D-based frequency.

Transitioning to 5D IN the body in ONE lifetime…..WOW! This is epic stuff. You ARE an epic BEing. Accepting and surrendering that you WILL have more thing to feel, heal, and be revealed is to connect to the actual epicness of what we are experiencing right now as a collective and as individuals.

To arise….EPIC sacred human….to arise!

Jelelle Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com
The BEST way I have discovered for going directly to these resistant/fear-based/traumatized frequencies and actually transmuting them is through parts work/Metasoul aspect connection like we offer in SoulFullHeart sessions through 1:1 bridging sessions and free intros. More here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation with women and with Raphael for men…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Energy in motion of our E-motion-all Body

By Raphael Awen
emotionalenergy

Until we surrender to our feelings, we are stuck in a stasis.

It has been said that our emotions are our e-motions, or our ‘energy in motion’. If life is anything, on whatever level you wish to look at it, be it physical, spiritual, metaphysical, micro, macro,….all of it is energy in motion.

And what you are feeling right now is energy moving through the energy-in-motion that YOU are. You are reading this seeking something. That is desire, want, seeking, moving through you. E-motive-ly. This is your motive for being.

People have long advised and devised multitudinous ways to overcome our feelings, reprogram our feelings, numb our feelings, but what we have failed to see in every one of these proposed solutions to our feelings is that the solution is proposing another feeling overlay to the one deemed unwanted.

We’re left with a inner war of feelings where one part of us in our psyche seeks to maintain dominance and control over another part of ourselves. This controlling part is then essentially running our lives, living our life as us. And gratefully so, some ‘one’ needs to look after life, until a new arising authentic us can show up to the relief of all involved.

Why we’ve worked so hard collectively to suppress and demonize (in many cases literally) our feelings is up for ongoing discovery, but for me, what feels so apparent is that it has been a way and a strategy for us to regulate the pace of our growth to what for most is a snail’s pace, or even a reverse direction, born out of the very real fear of our own bigness. Our feelings are the portal to our own greatness and the doorway out of our stasis into the infinity of love that we actually are.

Am I saying that feelings of depression or anxiety or rage are this portal to more? What about something so debilitating as shame, or the related inner critic? Are these emotions moving through me somehow a portal to my deeper essence?

‘Why,’ you may say, ‘I’ve always perceived these dark emotions as the barrier to my arising, not any portal to my ongoing awakening.’

I so get that. I too lived in that domain most of my life. What I want to offer you and offer you deeply is a ‘what if?’ question to feel and see where it takes you.

Here goes:

‘What if what you’ve related to as your negative emotions are actually the portal to more and more of your authentic-self arising to lead and flow in life?’

This what-if question (and its quest) could go on and on, worded in so many ways, but you get and feel the tone of it. I know you do…I can feel you do, or these words wouldn’t be holding you right now.

Wow, if this question is pointing you where I think it is, then there is no such thing as a negative (negating) emotion. There is only invitation into what is, to more of the all that you are, that is awaiting you. Why would any one of us be okay with leaving a part of us behind!?

Of course, I so get and feel the resistance we’ve all worked so hard at to keep our emotional worlds from infecting our self image togetherness. We, men more so, but women too, have relegated the emotional body to the insubstantial, to the meaningless, to the powerless, when in actuality, it is the essence of what we are. And we don’t get to embrace our essence any other way, but by going inward to all that we are, getting to know and feel who stands at the door of our hearts that we previously feared, but now open out to in genuine curiosity and love.

Now we finally cease demanding that some one else takes care of us in the multitude of ways we can do just that bass in a medicative relationship to all of life, and we begin instead taking care of ourselves in an ever deepening way beyond what we’ve ever known or imagined.

In SoulFullHeart, we take seriously each arising part of us and get to know and feel them intimately without judgment toward their charge and strategies, but instead open out to feeling why they are the way they are, and why they feel what they do, with all the time and process needed, with tears of gratitude for all they held in our absence.

My truth is that only as this kind of rigorous self-differentiation process, recognizing the emotional body, grounded in our everyday life and relationships unfolds for us, can we genuinely trust that our draw to spiritual practices are not simply another drug of medication to numb and keep unfelt emotional pain at bay.

If we have not embraced the emotional body, our seeking of Ascension or ‘raising our frequency’ becomes very suspect as simply a way to transcend our essence as a human being.

That may work for a part of you, but is it enough for you?

How much richer and fuller could your Ascension awakening be if no part of you gets left behind, allowing all of your energy in motion to fully flow into the infinite magic and wonder of life?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, retreats, writings, and more.