Tag: finding yourself

You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Never before in our lifetimes has there been an opportunity like the one that stands before us now, in the Now. Every longing and ache you’ve experienced to inhabit new energies, new unfolding timelines, realizations of your soul purpose expression, drawing the deeper mateship of deep heart, soul and body resonance; all of that and more is at the door in a way that it hasn’t quite been before.

If that feels true, for a part of you, it can produce anxiety around the questions of how, or will I actually be able to take advantage of this time, or worse – who am I to think I could actually see dreams come true. That only happens in fairy tales.

Well, your life is a fairy tale.

The fairies are waiting to tell the tale of you as you make the changes that your heart is calling you to, in this do or die drama that you find yourself in. The fairies along with hosts of other dimensional support beings await your courage and choice to embrace this birthright of your being.

Never before has the feeling of possibility been so pitted against the feelings of ‘it will never happen.’ Where is all this madness coming from you ask? It’s coming from inside of you. Between you and life as you know it and these unmistakable dreams that never cease to haunt you lies your emotional body, and visceral reactions coming from parts of you to this opportunity that is here now. Never before have they wanted what they want like they want it now. Never before have they felt such hopelessness at the same time. Who wants to step into this chaos, and who would step into this chaos should one choose to do so?

A Higher Self version of you, a Super-Me, as I heard it called this week, is wanting to lead you into the centre of this chaos, at least what feels like chaos to a part of you. This Higher Self version of you doesn’t see this chaos as anything but an opportunity that your soul has longed to inhabit. Your Higher Self version of you isn’t waiting for any outside authority to issue you a licence or an authorization to proceed. That authority can only come from you. Your Higher Self cannot and will not act independent of you, the you that you normally think of as you. You came here to learn about your power and your choice. You came here to learn about the distraction of giving your power away to outside-of-you authorities and then from there, to come to learn the comparative difference of what it feels like to be in your power, and then from that new there, you get to be a broadcast of that very thing into the collective for others to tune into for their own becoming.

The biggest choice to engage this power is to no longer deny this domain of what has felt like chaos to you, in your emotional body, the feeling reactions coming from parts of you that have deeply shaped your life as you know it today. The reactions of deep despair in relationship with your unrealized dreams are the portal to the path of actually fulfilling those dreams. The first step onto this path of realization is just as fulfilling as the next, and the one after that, and strangely not any more exciting than a week or a year from now. It’s all unfolding you. The courage you will foster and grow within this new arising you will be called upon to embrace new journeys in this unfolding of your fairy tale of the infinite love that you are.

What if a romance novel or porn addiction is only a shadow version of these aches and longings awaiting your escort into a new life? What if the battles with money and work life chaos is only a drama awaiting your embrace of what’s real inside? What if illness in your body is only a call inward, nothing more, that resolves itself in self loving inquiry? What if it’s all YOU waiting and wanting to come into the ripe possibility that every cell in your body is attesting to being here Now? Love is wanting to prove something to you, something new, one profound and magical step at a time.

You and only you are the one you’ve been waiting for.

I offer a free initial consultation for those drawn to the SoulFullHeart process of deep healing and awakening. More here: soulfullheart.org/sessions. I’d so welcome hearing from you if you feel I and SoulFullHeart is part of your next steps on your awakening journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

 

Rebooting From ‘Spiritual Burnout’ To Find Your Own Truth

Published on by Kasha Rokshana4 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Feeling done, burnt out, saturated with information, ‘truths’, knowledge, read-outs from others… does this feel familiar? Does part of you feel sometimes like they want to ‘chuck Ascension out the window’ along with your own healing path, or maybe at least take a very conscious break from it?

Maybe you’ve holed up in front of Netflix recently with a bucket of gummy bears or a liter of ice cream, watching something that parts of your more ‘spiritual’ connections (in your life or virtual life) would judge as being ‘unsacred’, ‘vapid’, ‘non-essential to awakening’.

That feeling of, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ is just as sacred, meaningful and alchemical as picking up another book, following another blog, taking in another video on Ascension, expanding your consciousness, healing your wounds. Sometimes you have to pull out of what’s been surrounding and saturating you in order to regroup and recharge, and also find what ‘truths’ out there most resonate with your own. Maybe you’re actually not supposed to resonate with what’s out there, at least not right now, because you most need to resonate with what’s IN HERE… in your own heart and soul.

You are a human being with a wealth of experience in this life and beyond. You have so much knocking at your door and there is a clamor going on in the spiritual healing world, with this path pushing another path out the window, internet ‘trolls’ looking to cut someone down who is expressing their own perspective through bitterness they have inside from their own burnout perhaps, and just a ton of information to take in and dessiminate for yourself.

It feels like it’s quite often the Inner Protector or Gatekeeper part/aspect of you that gets the most saturated or even fed-up with the efforts and seeking of other parts of you, the pursuit of your soul purpose, healing, etc. They feel ‘done’ with answers that perhaps don’t deeply resonate or that try and bypass this part of you that is there trying to protect other parts of you and quite often doesn’t deeply trust the space holder, teacher, therapist, or even skilled psychic you’ve been leaning into. Negotiating with this part of you along the way, helps you ground in what you’re being taught or told into your heart and soul in a way that is real for you and not simply just given to you by another.

Ultimately, the spiritual awakening/Ascension path is about rediscovering your own expression of your Divinity, your Divine and sacred truth of your own soul’s path. Seeking for what I have been calling “outside-in” answers like readings or energy sessions without “inside-out” work also going on, like finding your own truth, the truths of your parts, the negotiation with your Inner Protector/Gatekeeper and what they’re actually ready for you to access or not, will cause this burn out experience because the work you’re receiving needs to live INSIDE of you, otherwise you’re not likely to feel truly empowered to make the choices and take the steps you need to take in order to access your next pieces of alignment and feeling truly lit UP by your emerging strength of connection with the Divine within AND outside of you.

Your burn out is an opportunity for a reboot inside. To sacredly take a break if necessary from consciously taking in any offerings or healing paths at all and to simply BE. Feeling is the deepest path to your renewed sense of aliveness, even and especially if the feeling is that parts of you just want to “veg the ‘eff out” for a change!

No matter what… you can trust that your soul is integrating all of the work it has led you to do and inhabit and that it will lead you, in your own sacred/Divine timing, to your next steps for your own healing and your sense of your individual truth, Divinity, and essence of love that you inescapably ARE. ❤

~

Still some slots still open for next week if you’d like some support/guidance on your next steps out of your burnout, connecting with your Inner Protector and/or other parts of you, connecting with Metasoul Aspects, or anything that arises if you’d like to connect for a Bridging Session with myself (for women under 35), Jelelle Awen (for women over 35), Raphael Awen, or Gabriel Heartman for men and women: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Incoming Energies Support Coming Out Of Hiding In ALL Ways & Relationships

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

It continues to get harder and harder to compartmentalize, to hide, to avoid feeling all there is to feel. The parts of you that have worked so hard to keep certain things hidden, maybe especially your spirituality and consciousness, your real desires for your life, heart and soul too… these parts are finding that they’re getting tired and it’s just plain getting harder to stay closeted and under wraps. To avoid the necessary messes is becoming nearly impossible anymore as your soul makes choices for your growth and its deeper healing and openings that it can’t be steered away from any longer.

You may find yourself in conflicts that parts of you are feeling stumped by, wondering how they could have gotten here when they’ve worked so hard to keep your truth and perhaps the truths of others too in a sort of holding pattern.

This, it feels like, is the root of bigger Disclosure events and what Ascension constantly invites us into. Disclosure within and in all relationships you have is a process and one that has been ongoing for a while now too. It feels like this is ramping up more now too, where parts are even becoming a bit lax about hiding anything, feeling exhausted by how hard they’ve worked to maintain these veils for so long…

There’s so much that surfaces now, especially perhaps the harder more intense and dark feelings, not to be tortured by (though parts of you may feel it this way) but to be brought into your heart and held, finally, so the real vulnerability of the real fears and places of inner suffering can be transmuted with love.

It’s a process of one part or Metasoul Aspect at a time… to feel every nuance, every piece that is emerging and not just ‘release’ it, but to have a relationship with it that is built and held by love and can therefore be transmuted into more love within you.

It’s a process I have loved and fallen in love with over and over again… and it invites you to fall in love with you, with everything you’ve thought was only dark or dreary too, to claim every gift of who you are in this moment now, and every gift of who you are that you aren’t even aware of yet…

If what has been hidden remains hidden, the treasure deep within the dark caves and caverns would never be discovered… and the process of your healing and Ascension will have trouble finding it’s places of deepening, its ways to move beyond all suffering no matter how buried, and its way into a true experience of 5D and beyond.

~

To support you on your journey and to help you feel the parts of you that are hurting over the circumstances they may be moving through with you, you can check out our Bridging Sessions offering which is very affordable and powerful too: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session I have slots available next week for young women under 35 and would love to serve you!

Much love to you! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Trusting The ‘Weight’ Of Your Next Healing Steps

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places, and it doesn’t really have an end to it, just deeper and deeper to go. Trusting in each process is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece to trust, can’t it?

Falling, willingly, is for the maniac in you. The maniac that is so curious about yourself, your soul, your parts, that living into each layer that needs love and taking in the mirrors that show you these layers is something you look for and look forward to.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still as you let in all that you are, but sometimes…. sometimes there’s a crash landing. Sometimes there are those phases of saying ‘no’ to that which parts of you have clung to in order to keep life ‘just so’ and somehow known, even though you also ache to experience the unknown! The crash though, is a crash into YOU and into LOVE. Your parts fall into the arising you that gets to hold them and the Metasoul Aspects too reacting to the ‘no’ experiences, the life changes, the rekindled desire for MORE coming from your strengthening, growing and opening heart.

Feeling the full weight of how your parts have experienced each ‘fall’ in life, is what brings you and them to more and more experiences of leaving gravity, as you’ve known it, behind. ❤️

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Support Emotional Swells, Encourage Taking Space To Feel

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

There may be much coming up, leaking through, wanting your love and attention right now. It is A LOT to feel, it is a lot hold, it is a lot to be curious about, especially during those times when your curiosity feels inaccessible. Sometimes the depths of the pain that wants and needs to surface feels like it’s going to swallow you whole. But what it really wants is to bring you back into your full wholeness. Yes, you are already whole in some ways, yet the fragmented self, the parts of you that need you, still need the space they need with YOUR open heart, to integrate into your being, to remember that they are not JUST the pain they feel or the scenes they are stuck in from this 3D lifetime or even from other soul timelines.

If pain is coming up, it’s because you’re ready for it to come up. You’ve done enough work now, that the pain and the parts that hold the pain in their reality now have the space inside your heart to make a home there. It may feel like a surprise to you, like a sudden surge of reactivity that you thought was gone and memories of what you’ve thought were timelines long gone by now too. This surprise comes as a gift… another doorway into your deeper caves within that need your exploration so that you can come out the other side even more in your bigness, with even more space in your being, in your heart, and even MORE capacity to serve love with others too.

The space you choose to take, away from social commitments, away from birth family ties, away from work perhaps too, is space that is needed for you and with you. It’s a choice to take care of what needs to be taken care of inside of you, even though your job, relationship, family may have supported you to stay above it somehow by helping you out in different ways in your life. It’s a choice to turn around and face what’s welling up, to cry the tears that are often suppressed, to feel the sometimes existential terror of being on this planet at this time. To feel into the reactions that have maybe even become normalized and expected. This is a time to be with YOU, to dedicate space to feel. And in the meantime, to lean into the Divine within and the Divine energies that want to hold you and love you up as you love yourself up from inside out.

It is not really “too much” to hold, if you just hold it all and discover it all too. Along with this comes gifts you have yet to imagine and healing at a depth you’ve yet to experience… and, the bringing back of dreams you’ve perhaps forgotten that you even had; of a life where this space for you and your parts is the ‘normal’ reality and the love flow you feel within and draw from resonant others outside of you is a part of your Heaven, your Golden/New Earth experience in the Now.

~

If you feel drawn to what I’m offering as a picture here and this is what’s coming up for you in your process right now too, I offer 1:1, 90min bridging sessions for women around and under the age of 35. They are very affordable at $55/each. For more info, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Much, MUCH love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Change Your Life By Finding Your Courage

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Bravery. It’s a good topic to get into, isn’t it? We’re living in times where we SO need our bravery, both the masculine and feminine versions of it. We all have these energies inside of us. We’re all capable of so much beyond our wildest dreams and somehow you know this and can feel it… but not always. Being born into 3D conditioning is like having a lead balloon over your bigness. That is, until it’s not what’s true anymore and you’re remembering how to soar again!

Yesterday I posted just a couple of lines on my Facebook page that said, “If you don’t feel challenged to find your bravery, you’re living a life that supports your stuckness, not your growth…” and got a really big response! It feels like these are words that so many parts and Metasoul Aspects are NEEDING to hear and feel. It’s an invitation that’s meant to bowl you over with love. You’re always invited into your bigness through finding your courage. You find your true courage by finding your heart. If there’s no heart in your choices, if you aren’t truly feeling them, parts of you are keeping you numb out of fear and wanting to just exit the whole situation or relationship without feeling the loss or mourning. This is more bravado than bravery and comes from the Inner Protector wanting to just get OUT already… there’s nothing “wrong” with this though, especially because leaving abusive relationships can really require you to feel as unsentimental as possible on your way out the door. This is about survival in some cases and bless your Inner Protector for doing their job!

What I just mentioned about the Inner Protector brings us to the point I was making about masculine and feminine expressions of bravery. Since the Inner Protector for both men and women tends to be very, very masculine in energy, a very protected and armored version of bravery is expressed through this part. This is more wounded masculine than healed masculine of course, yet there’s no judgment about that because this is just how this part of you has HAD to be. Masculine bravery also expresses through the inner matriarch/patriarch (Inner Mother/Father). Matriarchy, the way it’s been expressed so far, has been intensely masculine in many ways. Any picture of a warrior woman is a masculine one, for example. Feminine power and bravery are different in my experience than anything that requires contention and battles on any level. The more healed version of masculine bravery lives in the heart. It helps you set intentions and not waiver from the course of action chosen, though your heart is still open to feeling your way through it (which is more feminine). It also helps you set boundaries when necessary and quite often it IS necessary in order to exit one door in your life and enter another.

Feminine bravery expresses through the heart. It’s a deep-seated courage to keep feeling all there is to feel. Courage to be WITH the mourning of leaving relationships, career, etc. Courage to be WITH the entering and letting in of new ones, too. Interesting that I’m using the word “courage” instead of “bravery” when talking about the feminine expression! I think this is because cour-age is of the heart, with “coeur” being the French word for “heart” and the feminine lives and thrives in the heart space. It takes a ton of bravery to stay in your heart, even when the world seems to support parts of you not to stay there and when it’s understandably tempting to follow along with that…

It takes a lot of YOU in your growing and strengthening essence to keep fnding your next steps in your life though every single awakening experience and every integration of these experiences too. You’re not meant to stay the same, and your life isn’t meant to either. You have a choice to be with the parts of you that are afraid and take brave steps anyways, trusting in your heart and soul that you WILL be and ARE held by something bigger within you and that life is on your side, not against you. This is a big one to feel and let in. And it takes a lot of bravery to even begin doing so. ❤

you are living in your stuckness

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Sacred ‘Mess’ Of Your Healing Path

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

follow me, find your mess

“Come follow me, and you will find your mess” – a biblical quote reframe, as offered to me by Yeshua

~

There’s a light up ahead, held by someone who has done much work. Someone who beams a beacon of hope and love and possibility. Their energy invites you in and also invites you to follow them. They don’t energize being ‘better’ or ‘holier’ than you, they only seem to energize that they are somehow ‘ahead’ and want to vulnerably lead you into more possibilities, healing and growth for yourself.

Maybe you choose to follow because the warmth of the heart cord between you is incredible and familiar and not like anything you’ve ever felt before in this life. You want to be near this person, relate closely with them, and yet you can’t quite relate to them yet. They feel ‘close’ to you in a sweet sense, yet they almost feel like something that isn’t from this world. How could that be? They certainly seem human enough. You conclude that somehow they ARE human, just living in a different sort of dimension than you’re used to. Wow. THAT’S interesting because the dimension you’ve been living in feels old, stale, essentially loveless to you more and more these days as you continue to awaken to the universe within and outside of you.

As you continue to follow this person up ahead, you feel the infusions of light and love that they offer. You feel too, the realness they hold about their personal reality – how they or parts of them feel or are reacting in given moments. You can feel them holding this reality as sacred, though sometimes the energy feels intense to parts of you that you haven’t fully felt yet. What they offer to themselves and to you seems like ‘love’, but it’s a different love than you’ve experienced, as most of the time those around you refuse to be ‘real’ or current with what they’re feeling or experiencing. Or, on the other hand, they dump energy and emotion on you and in the space they hold with you, feeling like a victim and playing a victim’s role, effectively and skillfully drawing up a case that backs up their claim to perpetual victimhood. You’ve never had this contrast be illuminated for you before and it stirs something inside of you. Parts of you may start to feel victimized to this new frequency of love that is so illuminating, as it shows you too the ways in which you have been and held this same energy of co-dependently being in relationship with others and not deeply maturing emotionally, though you may ‘seem’ mature to most others in your life. You are experiencing how this love is holding up a mirror for you, and wow, there’s actually quite a bit of shadow there to feel!

This being you chose to follow encourages you to keep feeling it all. WHAT?! I have to FEEL it all?! You begin to feel a part of you is getting overwhelmed by the volume of what there is to feel, and you feel a bit surprised by what is still there that you thought you had healed by now. You feel the weight and the mess of it all… the entanglements within your relationships, past and present, the knots living inside of your heart and soul, the shadow pieces and parts of you popping up now to be witnessed, felt, held, healed. It’s a lot. Sometimes it feels like ‘too much’… and your new leader invites you to just ‘hold on tight!’ while the winds whip by and through you, inviting you to step into them despite the swirling chaos inside of you.

This is what it means to be on a path where you find that ‘mess’ within. That ‘mess’ that you learn to love as you trust that it’s leading you somewhere NEW. Amidst the mess, you get to decide whether or not you want to continue walking into it. You get to decide in every single moment, what you want next. And you get to decide whether or not you really trust this process and are ready for it.

~

In SoulFullHeart, we don’t hold a grandiose or lofty picture of who we are as spiritual and emotional teachers, leaders and facilitators. The work we’ve done and continue to do is challengings and sometimes downright hard to be in, though the payoff is incredible, as the growth and consciousness expansion is exponential. If anything we are here to guide you if you can lean into what we offer and embody.

Choosing to be around us in any way or form offers some sort of challenge to your being, just because of this way of life we embody. Choosing to be with us here in community, well, that pushes up even more… yet your readiness is something you get to gauge in every moment, even as ‘mess’ comes up from within and seems to be playing out outside of you too.

Following any sort of spiritual and/or emotional healing path should push up quite a bit inside of you. Even if you are not drawn to SoulFullHeart, whatever path you may choose will very likely give you a lot to feel and heal. There is no way, in my experience, to avoid or fully transcend what we signed up to heal in this life. Embracing our messes, no matter where we are in our path or what teacher(s) or leader(s) we may choose to follow or learn from, gives us this gift of finding our way to deeper and deeper decisions about the playout of our lives and how and who we most want to be.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.