Category: By Raphael Awen

Meet Your Inner Protector – A Guided Meditation With Raphael Awen

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By Raphael Awen

Every day, we find people getting magically introduced to their Inner Protector and beginning a journey of self discovery and awakening to their emotional body, that opens out connection to the Inner Child, Galactic Awakening and Multidimensionality. I invite you to enjoy this short guided meditation below to get introduced to your Inner Protector.

From the video description:
“Your Inner Protector is your most loyal guard, who watches over your other parts and protects your ‘inner castle’ or essence. Conscious connection with this part/subpersonality of yourself allows for more openness to make life changes, letting in of ascension/awakening energies, opening of your heart, and access to other parts of you who need you!

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator Raphael Awen leads you in a guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector and begin this precious connection. This video is filmed in a regional park in New Lemuria Victoria, BC, Canada. Enjoy the tree codes and getting the opportunity to meet this important part of yourself!”

If I can be of further assistance, I’d love to hear from you. More on sessions here at http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Our Fear Of Life

Published on by Raphael Awen5 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Our greatest fear isn’t about our death, but rather about our infinitude.

Death is simply another birth into the great unknown of our never ending being and the universe it expresses in. To accept that is to be in reverence, awe and wonder, which is to really live.

To accept that is to accept your struggle with that. You don’t really ‘get’ that and neither do I.

Death and life are a great mystery that the universe itself and the divine itself is still busy exploring and it is exploring it through you and me.

Death and life are inseparable from each other, as every moment, every relationship, every being that expresses, expresses as a surrender to this mystery of death and rebirth.

Living our lives in avoidance of death or repulsion to death is to reject life itself, for life isn’t possible without death. Coming to terms with our physical death can help us come to terms with the many deaths of our lives, which in turn is the only thing that can offer us a healthy entry into our next stage and place in life.

You must leave in order to enter. We get to have life because we are willing to let it go. What makes any moment truly alive is to feel that moment’s life and its death in the same space. I enter it with a reverence that I must in turn leave it and its imprint on me as well as what I imprinted it with. Every thing and every relationship I enter, I must ultimately leave.

Every Joy contains a sorrow. Realizing this is key to navigating both, and key to leaving behind a flatlined existence where both our joys and sorrows are muted, in favor of a more managed/controlled reality, that is void of deeply truly living.

If life is anything, it is reverence. To revere something is to fear it. To truly fear something is to be in awe of it, to respect it on a deep heart and soul level, to fear losing it. What we really fear losing is not our lives, but losing the real connection with life within our life. Regaining that is about accepting all of our reality, even if we fall so short of understanding it. It’s about feeling it, not ‘knowing’ it in any mental or philosophical sense.

Finding and feeling the part(s) of you who hold your relationship to death and rebirth is the single deepest thing you can do to embrace growth, movement and change in your life. Parts of you are stuck in their relationship to death, and can only move from the fear that grips them if and when they are afforded a digestion of their fears.

I wrote the above article a year ago today, and it feels timely again as we have just surrendered to a big death and rebirth experience in choosing to return to Canada and feel and face all the questions about the outcome. In our first three weeks here, we have already experienced so much more than we had quite prepared for in terms of goodness and synchronicity/support from the universe. There is a digestion now about how we collectively not only fear negative outcomes, but how we actually fear deeply positive outcomes as they set the bar higher and create a whole new vibration of reality to acclimate to. More letting go, in order to let in.

I offer space holding for individuals that want to explore the deeper terrains of their relationship to life and adventure; their relationship to their undigested and unfelt traumas and how those affect their lives now. More can be found here at our sessions page: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

The picture below is from a recent walk close to our new home where I felt the trees holding space of welcome – a choir of love and embrace – all loaded with trust and a yin-like surrender to having all of their needs met, grounded in Gaia, and not being afraid of death and rebirth.

Much love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Returning To Source

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Is there a way we could embrace suicide somehow, yet without doing any harm to ourselves?

A Tribute To Wayne:

I began going by my middle name of Wayne in 2008, after some deep life changes rocked through my world. People who knew and loved me as Marvin, my given first name, had a hard time with me now going by Wayne. Wayne wasn’t Marvin. My life wasn’t what it had been.

Wayne was a new arising me who could leave entire well constructed worlds behind in search of new ones, when he knew the old worlds were completing.

I had been going by the name of Wayne for only a few weeks when I again chose to connect with Jelelle (then Jillian) and to fully explore open hearted romance. That soon involved leaving Canada behind, moving to California, not quite legally, then getting banned from the US, reordering our world back to Canada, even choosing to go through bankruptcy a few years later. It was all adventure and expansion and Wayne loved every bit of it, even feeling the kickups of anxiety that the edges of that aliveness also pushed up.

Chapter after life chapter unfolded taking him and us to change so much of life as I had known it. I left my too familiar hometown behind and chose to live in new places close to the ocean that reflected the aliveness and changes on the inside. My relationship with a career in its third decade was thinned out as I embraced more and more the call and desire to co-found SoulFullHeart together with Jillian.

After 6 years together, the desire and call came to relocate to Mexico, to quite simply load the van and go. Wayne did just that, along with Jillian, and Kathleen and Christian (Kalayna and Gabriel) and then adjusted to a ton of newness and exploration on an offgrid ranch attempting growing our own food and cob building in a very foreign setting on what felt like less than a shoestring budget, in terms of both money and know how; and all of that while remaining in deep heart and soul connection with Jillian, along with our tiny community, and the desire to birth SoulFullHeart into the world more and more. In many ways the universe led us through a great death and rebirth phase and Wayne was my personal tour guide for the duration.

Then came a time of feeling another layer of aliveness that wasn’t Wayne arising in me, and I chose to go by the name, Raphael. The name change was much easier this time as I was only in contact with a few local Mexicans and my closest beloveds at the ranch who fully supported my name change. Wayne felt like a beloved part of me who was stepping back now from leading my life as I, Raphael, was holding a yet again new frequency of relationship to life. Wayne felt like his time as me, as my leading edge, was completing.

Wayne was the one who could hold and manage the practical with a deeply open heart, and love the edges and challenges that arose. Wayne was the one who could embrace deeply the deep feminine in his beloved and in himself, even when he was confounded by it. Wayne was able to claim what he wanted and let go of what he didn’t want.

I felt my relationship to Wayne wane over time (pun intended). He took a mostly backseat in my life as I as Raphael now held life and him as a beloved part of me. Then as our recent choice to move back to Canada arose for us, I felt some distinct Wayne tones arise sharply in my consciousness.

As I felt so many exciting new things coming into my life, I strangely also had some strong constricted moments of feeling anxious. Being out shopping for familiar foods with a very excited Jelelle and Raianna, I felt myself struggling to find my joy or excitement and instead wanted to save money. Beneath the anxiety about outcomes, I could feel a deep tiredness coming from somewhere inside of me to be ‘doing it all over again’. I tried to breathe through and manage these feelings as understandable given the degree of life change underway, yet the feelings persisted to where I could so clearly feel a part of me not on board with where I found myself now.

I checked in with Wayne and could so feel this as him, trying on one hand to summon the energy to continue and at the same time, so not wanting to. When I picked up pen and paper yesterday to journal with Wayne, I asked him about his feelings and what he told me was that he had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to return back to Source, and that he didn’t feel connected or energized towards our new Canada timeline, try as he may. He told me that he felt complete with the lifetime lived out in the past 13 years and now so wanted to go deeply into the embrace of the Divine Mother. I wept wave after wave of deep tears together with him feeling a deep completion and then I felt at odds about where to lead him next. I shared the experience with Jelelle and Raianna later in the day, who both shared my tears and deep realization, both of whom knew and loved Wayne so dearly. Jelelle offered that he was free to go; to be beautifully and ceremoniously released to return back to source; to ‘pass away’ from this dimension and go onwards to his next dimensions of exploration and journey; that his work was done, and so well done at that; that his reward awaited him.

We released Wayne right there, sitting at the kitchen table, and felt him go, leaving now from his home territory of Canada. It’s only been a nights digestion and yet I feel so much lighter. I can feel Wayne in transit and can still feel a heart chord with him, that feels like it never needs to go away, a chord of supply from the source that he returns to, from the arms of the Divine Mother whose embrace he chose to be deeper enfolded in.

I can feel him now removed from this practical third dimension and yet so practical at the same time, wanting to create a logistics shipping company that can transport goods and services between the dimensions like a well oiled machine, in a yin feminine kind of way.

I can feel my heart as Raphael ready to take on the new beginnings of starting all over again with a feeling of joy and opportunity, rather than a fear or anxiety of not being enough for this next chapter.

My heart tells me that it’s totally natural to have parts of us complete their timelines here and to be able to release them without ending our physical lives. We need not fuse to their feelings in a result of suicide, but instead hold heart space for their feelings to move through us – their gifts being received and them being allowed to go onwards, with a new version of ourselves being supported by the Divine to hold the larger context and timing of our sacred earth tour.

Thank you for feeling this tribute to Wayne.

May you know also the parts of you that need their advent and return through the vehicle of your earth journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Moving Through Resistance To Change Through Feeling Parts Of Your Self And Soul

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By Raphael Awen

In returning to Canada this week, I’m so enjoying this return to what was once familiar, but is so arising anew for me, after four years of being in Mexico.

Yesterday, I ventured outside in the perfect fall weather and colors to make my way around a beautiful nearby waterway. I so felt nature herself, and Gaia gifting me with a grace to adjust to change once again.

But it hasn’t all been easy, breezy, fair weather sailing. Change always challenges us and picks up on our edges, on parts of us and their push-pulls towards change. I can so feel all my life how parts of me were aching for change while other parts of me were in resistance to change. When we don’t show up to feel these polarities inside of ourselves, we’re left in a kind of managed middle zone between the two. Or worse, a near flat line kind of existence.

Is just having a so-so mateship enough for you, or do you really want the mate of your dreams? Do you really want to live in new places, geographically and emotionally and spiritually, or is the status quo gonna be enough? You really can’t answer these questions with integrity until you feel how both are true for different aspects of your being.

When we embrace the ongoing change that life is at its very root, we’re faced with direct reaction from parts of us, as well as from aspects of our Metasoul, who are at present in resistance to change. These reactions are a portal to our emotional body, to our multidimensionality, to our Ascension process, and to more life and love.

Until these parts of our being are bridged to with curiosity and an open heart, there will always be a gravitational pull that returns us to more of a static or stuck place.

When we do feel these more resistant aspects of our being, they are changed simply by the dynamic of being related with, being felt, being in the awareness of your curious and open heart. When they change, you flow with change and growth in magical and natural way that isn’t about suppressing one part of your being so another can dominate.

What magic is wanting and waiting to flow through you?

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Our Emotions Shape Our Thoughts

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

If our thoughts shape our inner world, which go on to shape our outer world, what is it that precedes our thoughts?

We could describe this precedent to our thoughts to be some kind of energy, less dense than a thought, and an energy that has movement or flow. How about calling it e-motion; energy in motion?

It is our emotions that shape our thoughts. Both are a form of energy in motion, that create, shape and manifest in more dense expressions.

But what is it that precedes our emotions? From what ground do our emotions arise from?

My feeling sense of this question is that it all arises from source, or the all, or the divine. If this is true, then even what we call the negative emotions, like depression, anxiety, or hatred, or fear all have a source in divinity. Nothing is outside of divinity needing to be rescued or saved back into divinity.

And If that is true, then the divine is out exploring the ‘negative’ through you and I in an effort to reinvent it into something much deeper and wider than even it knew was possible.

Can we make sweet love to every arising manifestation at whatever level it arises in our lives – in emotion, in thought, in physicality?

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Moving From Being Alone To All-One

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

When we feel ‘alone’, we are literally feeling ‘all-one’.

There is the lack of an other to feel what we are feeling. There is no relationship ‘to and from’ happening.

This explains while many often feel alone even while in relationship with others. The others have all co-created a one mind agreement to conform to, where the benefits of belonging are extended based on ones’ subtle (or not so subtle) compliance. It’s really hard not to do this, given our need for community. None of us can survive without some aspects of community.

When we show up for ourselves, we are literally becoming the missing other to our-selves (plural). The missing other who does the showing up is you intentionalizing and embodying your Higher Self into awareness, presence and being. This changes everything.

Now, your relationships with others no longer mirrors this missing other; the fusion of cookie cutter look-a-likes in a hive mind phase of consciousness. There is true differentiation and healthy individuation that can flow inside of community, or outside of community. The price of belonging is now no longer conformity, but you are instead encouraged to uncover more and more of your true you, even if that results in going separate ways.

You know deep down inside that no part of you can ever suffer in being ‘all-one’ ever again.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Being Invited Into The Hearth Of Your Heart

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By Raphael Awen

Not only is it all returning to source…..it is all expanding that source as it does so.

Your life as you know it is a piece of life expressing as a human being, a gender, a Gaian (earthling), possessing multidimensionality amongst so many other things.

At the core of your being is a heart. At the core of all that is, is a heart. That heart in this micro and macro is not two hearts, but one; one that you are invited into its expansive feelings of embrace and the deepest feelings of belonging.

You are invited into the hearth of this heart.

You are invited to gather all the aspects of you who don’t yet know this heart to gather round its warmth.

Life changes based on how you feel about life. How you feel about life creates how you see life. How you see and feel life is affected so deeply by how parts of you see and feel life. ‘You’ are not going to sail to the Stars when parts of you feel like shit in a hell hole.

These parts need to be convinced of this heart of love at the center of the you-niverse. Until you bridge to them from your higher heart, they are left in their perception of reality which is like a powerful WiFi reality shaping broadcast in what you know as your life.

All that’s needed to ‘do’ this is a willingness to feel what hasn’t been okay up till now to feel. That may be a tall order, but it is thee most simple order that exists at the core of all things.

Find the parts who are not okay with feeling. You will find that they are starving to be felt even in their disposition to not feel.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Being Witness To Your Own Story

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

No story is very interesting without tension of some kind.

Tension by its nature requires a container or context to hold the tension in place….kind of like how sports needs courts, playing fields, and sets of rules to go by to keep them on edge. Within the container then there is also a cast of characters who provide the movements and outcomes of the tension.

When we watch a story in a movie, or read one in a great novel, we are immediately drawn into the tension of the story because our lives are also stories. Story calls to story.

We tend to think of our lives as just our lives, without seeing the story at play in our lives. This is because we are fused to the story, unwitting actors in the story who can’t see and witness the profound story.

What makes a story a story is when someone reads or watches the story and is moved by the story. If you are not watching and reading the story of your own life, then you are the story that no one is really deeply watching or observing. Unconsciously being this unwatched story is not fulfilling, as the tension of the story doesn’t flow out into the movements of heartwarming outcomes.

What are the tensions of your story? What is the particular container that holds these tensions in place in your story? Who are the cast of characters, internal and external, that play into this story? Who is the producer or writer of your story and what are they trying to get across?

Is your story finding its mark? Who has the production rights to your story? Is your story in need of some rewriting? Has someone dialed down the tension in your story that wants to play out?

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Navigating Choices Rather Than Avoiding Them

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

While my ‘what it feels like to be me’ has shifted and grown so much in life, the thing that remains constant is the vulnerability to desire, courage and choice.

Growth doesn’t lead to less challenge, though it does afford a grace to be with challenge. Growth doesn’t mean I have less desire, or less occasions that call for deep courage.

Many are of the mind that raising their consciousness will be some kind of escape from being human, a transcendence into bliss…….only to end up feeling very small at their inability to actually achieve their desired escape.

We came here to fully feel, to choose between difficult options, to experience fully, to lose, to gain. We had all the bliss we could imagine and it grew boring and lonely. We wanted more and we still do.

If this is true, then what we’re really left with is finding a way to navigate choices, rather than a means of avoiding our choices. This is about finding and feeling each part of us invested in the losses and gains involved in any given piece of life drama. When parts of us get truly felt by us, they are freed to integrate with our hearts and surrender into the changes and growth. They become unstuck in the balm of our heart space.

Consciousness then makes great strides into new domains of being as we are prepared to vibrate at the new frequencies needed to be with life at the new level.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Being With Anxiety During Life Transitions

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

After a total crash day of doing almost nothing physically, rest, rest, rest, some tears of longing under a despair of aching for 3D to shift some more in our collective and within my reality inside of that, I was able to feel very held, loved and supported.

With just two weeks and a bit left of our four year sojourn in Mexico, both Jelelle and I, and Raianna are feeling quite done with Mexico. Much of the previous appeal has lost its charm as the universes ‘prickly nest’ push into new timelines leads the way. Like a pregnant mother in her final stages of pregnancy, it’s not all easy or comfortable. We’re feeling not quite here and not quite there at the same time.

These times of transition with less routine are a precious time to feel yourself and parts of you. I’ve made it my practice and joy to deeply ‘go in’, in any time of transition or change.

Day before yesterday, I tallied the numbers of our Canada budget and had some reaction of anxiety about the money. It felt like a fraction of what I’ve ever felt in times past around money, yet, it was still there, a kind of shutdown inside that I had to give space to move through and feel. It’s interesting too, that these much smaller reactions than the ones I’ve known in times past are some offset by the fact that I feel way more sensitive to my emotional body, so in another way, they feel almost as big in the moment. They certainly feel big enough to call my attention and heart and feel what parts of me or in my Metasoul are wanting and asking for to be felt.

Interesting too, with that signature feeling of anxiety about money pushed up into my feeling space, I was easily able to time travel back to the me in times past, who lived and fueled my life with the anxiety about money. It feels real to me that we can change our lives in the present by going back in time to give love and heart presence to the parts of ourselves that felt trapped in an all too real reality where anxiety (or any other prominent suffering) was the order of the day. When a part of us from our past gets to shift their reality, that creates a waveform that flows into our present.

Last night, I had a dream, a full on night dream, where a woman told me she had a check for us in the amount of $50,000 dollars. At a time when 500 dollars would make a big difference and one thousand would be huge, $50,000 feels like a really strange reality to live into. I so can feel that our collective current relationship to money and anxiety about money is only a reality because of what connection it always was meant to lead us to inside of ourselves. Were it not for an anxiety or a depression, we wouldn’t desire and long for the heaven we are returning to and expanding into. I can feel a new timeline reality emerging for all of us, where money focus and scarcity just isn’t part of our waking consciousness. I’ve made big strides into this new world already of feeling free from the constraints of money pressures, of feeling free to pursue my dreams, but there is a ways to go here yet that calls to me.

You may very much be feeling a call to step into deep changes in your life; decision points about relationships, jobs, careers, bankruptcy possibly, that to a part of you, feel like stepping off a cliff. Yet, you know, you are being invited into deep change. I deeply believe that when we can proactively let these present forms of our life go through the metamorphosis that the universe is bringing to us, by choosing the ripe change timeline, we spare ourselves the trauma and shock of having life implode and explode change into our lives. In other words, we decide (or we don’t) on whether we play victim to change, or whether we consciously lead and live into the changes. Doing this healthily involves feeling the parts of ourselves in their reactions to the potential choices and changes. Simply feeling these parts of ourselves is the magic that lets in the new reality that wants to come into our awareness and reality.

This lived in and experienced reality is then what provides the courage and direction for the next step.

If you’re up for this; congratulations! You’ve just returned to the land of the advent of your adventurous self reaping the fullest benefits of what you came here to feel and manifest.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session