Being With Anxiety During Life Transitions

By Raphael Awen

After a total crash day of doing almost nothing physically, rest, rest, rest, some tears of longing under a despair of aching for 3D to shift some more in our collective and within my reality inside of that, I was able to feel very held, loved and supported.

With just two weeks and a bit left of our four year sojourn in Mexico, both Jelelle and I, and Raianna are feeling quite done with Mexico. Much of the previous appeal has lost its charm as the universes ‘prickly nest’ push into new timelines leads the way. Like a pregnant mother in her final stages of pregnancy, it’s not all easy or comfortable. We’re feeling not quite here and not quite there at the same time.

These times of transition with less routine are a precious time to feel yourself and parts of you. I’ve made it my practice and joy to deeply ‘go in’, in any time of transition or change.

Day before yesterday, I tallied the numbers of our Canada budget and had some reaction of anxiety about the money. It felt like a fraction of what I’ve ever felt in times past around money, yet, it was still there, a kind of shutdown inside that I had to give space to move through and feel. It’s interesting too, that these much smaller reactions than the ones I’ve known in times past are some offset by the fact that I feel way more sensitive to my emotional body, so in another way, they feel almost as big in the moment. They certainly feel big enough to call my attention and heart and feel what parts of me or in my Metasoul are wanting and asking for to be felt.

Interesting too, with that signature feeling of anxiety about money pushed up into my feeling space, I was easily able to time travel back to the me in times past, who lived and fueled my life with the anxiety about money. It feels real to me that we can change our lives in the present by going back in time to give love and heart presence to the parts of ourselves that felt trapped in an all too real reality where anxiety (or any other prominent suffering) was the order of the day. When a part of us from our past gets to shift their reality, that creates a waveform that flows into our present.

Last night, I had a dream, a full on night dream, where a woman told me she had a check for us in the amount of $50,000 dollars. At a time when 500 dollars would make a big difference and one thousand would be huge, $50,000 feels like a really strange reality to live into. I so can feel that our collective current relationship to money and anxiety about money is only a reality because of what connection it always was meant to lead us to inside of ourselves. Were it not for an anxiety or a depression, we wouldn’t desire and long for the heaven we are returning to and expanding into. I can feel a new timeline reality emerging for all of us, where money focus and scarcity just isn’t part of our waking consciousness. I’ve made big strides into this new world already of feeling free from the constraints of money pressures, of feeling free to pursue my dreams, but there is a ways to go here yet that calls to me.

You may very much be feeling a call to step into deep changes in your life; decision points about relationships, jobs, careers, bankruptcy possibly, that to a part of you, feel like stepping off a cliff. Yet, you know, you are being invited into deep change. I deeply believe that when we can proactively let these present forms of our life go through the metamorphosis that the universe is bringing to us, by choosing the ripe change timeline, we spare ourselves the trauma and shock of having life implode and explode change into our lives. In other words, we decide (or we don’t) on whether we play victim to change, or whether we consciously lead and live into the changes. Doing this healthily involves feeling the parts of ourselves in their reactions to the potential choices and changes. Simply feeling these parts of ourselves is the magic that lets in the new reality that wants to come into our awareness and reality.

This lived in and experienced reality is then what provides the courage and direction for the next step.

If you’re up for this; congratulations! You’ve just returned to the land of the advent of your adventurous self reaping the fullest benefits of what you came here to feel and manifest.

Raphael Awen

There Are No Wrong Choices

By Raphael Awen

We chose to enter duality, the place of choosing this over that, with a soul awareness that there are/were no wrong choices.

Every choice we make leads to an awareness that we made the choice; that we eventually came to either like it or not; and that we can make a different choice anytime we want, with what remains in our power to choose.

A previous choice may have narrowed the options before us, and a part of us may feel a bunch of regret about a particular choice, but even that pain filled result is a powerful act of a creator being enacted in order to come to terms with its own power. The wrong choice now couldn’t be more right.

The pain caused by the ‘wrong’ choice, and the all the internal reactions of self judgment, shame, regret, anger, etc., all give us a powerful opportunity to get to know and love the part(s) of ourselves who hold those feelings.

If your child returned home from school distraught over having been bullied that day, a healthy parent would open their heart to simply feel that with the child, so they could digest the trauma and move on. So it is we are being invited to feel the parts of us in reaction to this challenging world of duality we find ourselves in. Until the trauma is able to be felt by an open hearted ‘other’, there is no way for the pain to digest, but instead it gets compartmentalized away to go on to create more similar trauma for us to eventually show up for as the healthy parent ‘other’ to feel. In this way again, all the wrong choices lead to the right choices.

The right choice is simply the willingness to feel what we were up till that point unwilling or unable to feel. The whole point of all the drama of our lives, like any story, movie, or novel is that life essentially is about creating feeling. It can also be seen that all karmic play outs in our lives are not about punishment, but rather about re-creations of feeling scenarios, that we came here to feel.

It seems that if life in this dimension is anything, it is constantly about choosing some thing over another thing. We can avoid a particular choice, but no-choice is always very much a choice. Even in that, we are ‘event’ually brought to feeling the part of us afraid to choose, along with their sacred whats and whys.

These are the moments of total redemption. These are the moments of totally getting the whole point of all the dramas and their play outs. These are the moments of coming home to yourself.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at

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Current Energies Empower Us To Feel Our Choices Within

by Kalayna Colibri

At any time, you get to push the ‘reset’ button. You get to start again. You get to wake up in the morning and realize that life can become new, can arise for you anew. That the people in your life can too. And that there are many choice points along the way that make this come alive and help YOU come alive again, too.

The only thing that seems to keep us from doing this, letting this in, is what we have still to feel inside of ourselves that really doesn’t trust these choices or see the possibilities in our daily reality. Parts of us that want a quick-fix, get frustrated when everything they’ve tried hasn’t worked or seemed to work (or at least not with any staying power), and then the bottom falls out of our motivation to be IN life… to be a vital part of each relationship we have, especially to ourselves. Or, parts of us get frustrated with simply not finding the solution, not feeling genuinely guided or templated for, not feeling comfortable to be in this skin we’ve chosen as a vessel for our 3D come 4D experience here on Gaia. And THEN the bottom falls out and we are left with quite a bit of inner flatness and apathy.

We get to choose. We get to choose to do and be something different, to have a new approach, to try a new way, a new lens too. We get to do all of this and perhaps that is the very essence of free will. We also get to choose NOT to choose, which is still very much a choice. We can opt-in to our inner power and do the work we need to within, or we can let parts of us continue to opt-out of this invitation to heal and continue on in the same patterns we and they have been used to.

We get to decide our approach to life and to healing. What we don’t really get to choose is how and why our pain surfaces, as this is a collaboration with life and the Divine that we cannot shake off, no matter how hard parts of us may work to keep activity and positivity in place. We get to choose our healing paths and whether or not we fully show up for whatever place we’re at in our lives. We get to lead or follow as much as we want to, as much as parts of us want to… for in the beginning of feeling your parts, you begin to realize how much of your life has actually been a result of the choices parts of you have made, and not necessarily choices the most authentic and raw YOU would make.

Whatever the array of choices are that you make in one day let alone one lifetime, the deepest choices are often the ones that help us look, feel, notice, and heal. These are the choices that don’t ever flatten us out but bring us closer to ourselves and the lives we have truly, most deeply been wanting to live and LOVE. To feel where and how these choices show up for you and within you today feels like the most important revelation you could take in and the biggest, most magical experience you could ever have. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Saying “Yes” To Love

By Jelelle Awen


Whatever you are saying, “yes” to in your life….you are saying “no” to something else. What is getting your yes? What is getting your no?

When you (and parts of you) are saying “yes” to less and lack and struggle and settling….this is what you will continue to draw and be drawn to. When you are saying “yes” to suffering, the patterns of suffering over suffering continue.

How conscious are you of what you are saying, “yes” to? How aware are you of what you have allowed to BE in your life? Sometimes parts of you are in a push-pull around this too….part of you saying, “yes” while another part is saying, “no”. This, too, continues to bring this push-pull dynamic over and over as a mirror. Until you are more unified from within, until you are conscious of parts of you, their divergent and polarized feelings, and begin to bring more unity within, then you can see a NEW reflection.

A consistent, boundary setting “no” to what ISN’T you, to what is based in fear, to what continues suffering becomes possible as you align with your authentic self and separate from all the differing parts inside of you. This “no” is necessary as a phase of the 3D going into 4D experiment as you differentiate what is your soul expression and what is not.

A consistent ‘yes” to what supports your HIGHEST expression here, to what is based in love, to what completes and heals suffering becomes your reality as you FEEL love with the Divine coming into your BEing.

The Divine ultimately wants you to BE your highest timeline of service of love and that can mean a crucial phase of serving love to yourself and ALL parts of you (in shadow too). Saying YES to yourself and your own needs, health, above others. Your healthiest YES is revealed in this exploration. Your healthiest (and temporary) NO is uncovered in this exploration too.

You BEcome more and more YES to love in human form serving this YES to love with others too!  


Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at

Choice: The Arena Of Our Growth

By Raphael Awen

The whole point of coming to participate in 3D life and this dimension here is not to escape it, or transcend it, but to get the point of it, which has to do with choice. Nowhere else are our choice points so stark, and so greatly leveraged for our growth.

We chose this after all, didn’t we?

In so called higher states of oneness or bliss, we get to feel the source that we are and the source that we came from, and we need these reminders and feeling states, but they are not the arena of our growth.

Your life right now, and how you are choosing to live it, and the beliefs and values you subscribe to, in order to hold it together, or to make changes to it, are where your growth and ‘Ascension’ are most grounded.

I would so rather be in relationship to someone truly surrendered to where they are, and what life is presently asking them to feel, than around those claiming and flouting a higher dimensional experience that doesn’t feel real.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter:

Choosing Love Moment By Moment

By Jelelle Awen

Moment by moment….this is the invitation for ascension, for awakening, for remembering. In the moment feeling what is raising your frequency, feeling what is not. Choosing to continue, choosing to stop. This is the invitation, choosing your consciousness. Awareness is the choice of what you are putting your energy into, what you are participating in and if you want to continue or not. Awareness is realizing the impact of the energy you have taken in, the 3D conditioning you have chosen and parts of you are still anchored to, the conditioning you have experienced by often NOT being aware.

Moment by moment….the dedication of this practice is what brings the transcendent experiences, the sublime, the refined, the blissful, the reunions with aspects of your multidimensional selves. The embodiment of your Higher Self comes from this dedication, this focus, this willingness and openness to shift, to change, to rebel at times, to go against the grain. It BECOMES your life as it feels more ALIVE than anything else and so this choice of dedication becomes easier and more natural.

Moment by moment….you experience what makes it worth it, you experience more and more LOVE. The experience of choosing consciously love in every moment, to rise up into love again if you fall into fear. Even loving the fear that still lives inside. Loving the conditioning, the many, many layers of it, all the parts of yourself, and what is like cob webs over you, as you untangle and loving THAT too. Love makes the HARD worth it and holds the feelings of being lost, being estranged, being isolated, being different. Love makes the HARD worth it when you are being aware when others are not, being conscious when others are not, being aware when others are not, being love when others are not.

Moment by moment…..claiming of your mission, your purpose, the REASON you came here and left the higher frequencies behind voluntarily. Bringing in those higher dimensions, connecting with star family frequencies, angelic realms, Divine source, going within to bring them in reminds you of your purpose. Going within reminds you that you ARE them. Your SOUL’s purpose is in the moment claiming, over and over, reflected in the choices that you make (or don’t make), reflected in the relationships that you put energy into to reflect to you what you need to see of you. In the moment claiming and remembering what you came here to BE and DO. Re-energizing with that reminder and bigger picture in the moment.

Moment by moment…..the invitation is choosing your soul, choosing the bigger picture, choosing the higher energy, choosing the self loving, choosing the resonant ground, choosing to serve love above all else, choosing to hold space for your feelings, choosing to go within, choosing to claim your soul purpose. In every moment, the invitation is to CHOOSE love.  


Jelelle Awen
Raphael and I are teaching and offering a guided meditation, plus space for individual sharings, during our monthly group call coming up this Sunday at 11:11amCST! A boost for your moment by moment choosing love path

Putting Your Energy Towards Creating The NEW


By Jelelle Awen

Creating the NEW takes energy to happen. It takes conscious choices in every moment….to BEcome more conscious if you have slipped out or into something of the old. Conscious of when fear is going unfelt inside of you. Bringing in the NEW to yourself, your world, is like cutting trail, bush whacking and weed pulling….it is seeing a path where there wasn’t one before and DARING to follow it without kNOwing where it is going, yet only that it leads AWAY and into something NEW.

Sometimes creating the NEW is crawling through mud, one millimeter at a time with seemingly LITTLE sense that anything is changing. The NEW beacons you on though, in these moments, it reminds you in your soul what is possible. It pings and rings of the truths that your heart kNOWs. And, at times, there is only the surrender into the collapse of emotions that have to come up and out…the fears and their tears, the substance of so many previous experiences. Holding space for these emotions to come up also creates the NEW because it cannot be paved over an undigested foundation of the emotional body. It wants to be purified as the ground is laid.

SO much energy has been invested in the 3D world….the choices to be in the ongoing experiment of it by so many souls. To BE something NEW, to offer New Earth now frequencies of higher vibrational consciousness needs a force of energy too from you. Because you are going against something even as you are just BEing in stillness AS the NEW too. It is NOT just reading about it or passively taking it in or letting your mind contemplate or learn only. It is NOT just meditating and doing yoga. It is ALSO energizing what you feel that it IS and understanding what your ROLE is in the creation of the NEW. Energizing through choices to serve self and with others. And through claiming your responsibility to heal, feel, transform, move INTO in ALL areas of your life serving love and the NEW. Making CHANGES that reflect the NEW back to you.

Parts of you are connected deeply into 3D energies…they ARE these energies, as they have had to be in order to survive here. These aspects are conditioned to be protective and guarded and to ultimately be alone and survive alone (no matter how many others may be in your life.) SO much energy invested in protection…it may be the number one energy created in 3D living. BEing with the part of you that is protective, getting to know your inner guard who is on alert at ALL times to ANY threats….allows for the NEW to come into your life and into your heart. It allows access to the Inner Child frequencies of innocence, joy, magic, self worth, connection….all frequencies that are often stuck in lower vibrations of shame, depression, sadness, shyness, flatness, lack of reverence, unworthiness, disconnect. These frequencies change as the guardedness drops more and the ALIVEness can come back in. NEW can come in from the emotional body then.

BEing the NEW takes energy to BEcome it. To experience relationships that are based on soul resonance and heart vulnerability takes energy to show up for because it is SO unknown to our 3D world. To CHOOSE these kind of relationships over those based in fear and comfort takes energy too….sometimes a whole lot of inner power and strength to let go and move on, especially when no others seem to be with you in that desire for the NEW. To choose a NEW CommUNITY, soul tribe coming together, leaving behind your lone wolf existence (even, again, if you are surrounded by other people), leaving behind being maybe the ‘biggest soul’ in the room…..all THIS takes energy.

There is SO MUCH support from the Universe and Divine Source to energize the NEW inside and with Gaia. You can re-energize yourself, fill up again by letting these frequencies of love and light into your heart and soul. By connecting with the aspects of you that are afraid of the NEW (both from this life and other lifetimes), you are able to more deeply let these PURE Divine energies in more and more, like the LOVE sponge that you ARE. As you energize this choice for NEW every moment that you consciously can (and self lovingly accept when you haven’t), you draw those souls that can support and BE with you in the NEW too. You find each other….across miles, across continents, across language barriers… find, discover, CREATE the NEW, your energizing of it exponentially impacted by the coming together of FORCES for change….all in service of the NEW that is based in LOVE.


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.