In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

When Man Loves Woman: A Tribute To Sacred Romance and Union

This is in tribute to my beloved Kalayna Colibri  on her birthday. We have shared so many together since we met 6 years ago but this is our first in romance. I wanted to honor her for all she represents to me and thus the male collective. We have been through much together and I have had my share of process around letting in a conscious and sacred romance. This is the real deal and that brings with it challenges and immense joy.

When a man loves a woman he sees Her as She is
The beauty, the pain, the innocence, the queen, the shadow
He claims her for who she is in the moment
Knowing that She is always seeking and striving for Her More

He works within himself to heal the projections
That may be placed upon Her as a reflection of His own mirror
The places that He can’t see without Her
The ones She agreed to hold as part of The Deepening, The Clearing

This woman does not come by often
She can be an epic storm
That rearranges the locks on the Heart Doors
And she is the one that has held the Key

He is not obliged to her nor entitled
Yet He climbs the trellis, scales the walls
He rides his white horse to meet Her on her own
And they ride together, heart by heart, soul to soul

She engages His bigness as He does Hers
She opens the portals and He takes the wheel
She requires the one thing that may be the hardest thing to give
His vulnerability

She is there when the journey, the healing
Become too much for His protected parts to bear
He may get lost in the doing and the creating
But He wants Her to know that She is always the beacon back to Himself

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.