The Walled Off War Within


Follow on this well-worn path

The one you have known so well

The one that keeps you safe in the trenches of the battles that wage inside

There is a wall around this war-torn land that keeps it all intact

The players that play their role so well

To keep the whole gig going

But it is wearing thin this hallowed shield of your deepest truths and pains

It is seeing the tide rise where love has constantly laid its eyes upon

Your most needed, starved, and hidden children

The dam holds tight as it clings to the only duty it has had

To prevent the flood of our long held stories with tattered pages in tact

There is a time where we feel the moment has come to let the partition down

To see what happens differently than what has already been written a thousand times

What new change of weathered course sets you up to Higher Ground

To make new peace within your heart and set sail for lands anew

To grieve the life once lived yet never felt alive

The walls come down yet boundary remains

As the love that has replaced the war is the very thing to keep you safe


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


When Love Comes Knocking


It is HERE.  It is NOW.  The offer and invitation to fully embody all that we chose to embody.  There is no limitation other than the one that we have decided to subscribe to.  There are no obstacles other than the ones we put in our own way.  The ones that we have INside that are reflected on the OUTside.  It is a tough pill to swallow that we have all the power in the world to create the world that mirrors us.  It is so easy to merge with the feeling of powerlessness as that has been the pervasive force in this third dimensional playground.  It is us hiding from our own true power that creates this Land of Confusion.

When you choose a path of healing in earnest, you are asking the universe on a quantum level.  Not just in some ¨give me some peace and tranquility¨ sort of way.  That is what a part of you may want.  Usually the part of you that has been working damn hard to keep you from getting into too much healing.  The kind that turns worlds upside down and inside out.  But just enough to be in a sweet spot of enjoyment and fulfillment.  And that is certainly good medicine and sacred healing……until….something comes knocking on your door that wants to challenge that comfort zone.  In almost every case it is Love that came to remind you that you signed up for something different.

¨Oh,  hello, Love.  Nice to see you again.  Did I mention that things are good now and I don’t think I will be needing your services anymore?¨

¨Hmmm….really?  Okay, well it is hard to separate yourself from your essence, which is me, but I get why you may need some time to let me in a bit more.  I’ll just be waiting in the car.  Don’t mind me if I come back.  Just sort of my job to remind you once in a while.¨

¨That feels a bit pushy.¨

¨I get that.  It is hard to let in that you were meant for love and that you are love, even if it shakes things up a bit.  I have compassion for that. That is why I love you.  But I am also persistent because you ARE me and I am YOU and we were meant to find each other.  It is all up to you on the timing.  But before I go back to the car, can I ask you one question?


¨Can you ask the heart you are protecting how THEY actually feel?¨

¨I don’t know who you are talking about.¨

¨Hmmm…okay.  I think you do but I can wait.  I’ll be back later to check in with you. I’ll just be sipping my green tea.  Good for heart you know.¨

¨Yeah…that is what I have heard.  I appreciate your visit but I am good thanks.¨

¨Sure..,see you soon.¨

Love doesn’t want us to suffer or remain in a status quo.  It want us to feel our deepest desires and respond to what arises, even if it pushes on some long standing sore spots.  The ones that rightfully created a wall to protect the wound.  They are sacred walls and served a purpose.  As Love’s frequencies are being dialed UP,  its wind starts to buffet these walls and the soldiers at the gates get at the ready.  It is a sign of the power that is HERE and NOW.  Not an enemy to be thwarted but the truest Joy and Passion that we have kept locked up in the vault of our wounded heart.

It is through feeling the part(s) of us that have felt the need to protect us from this ¨INvasion¨.  This unstoppable force of our highest expression and desire as sacred human hearts and souls.  These parts of us are dear to us and have served us well and can guide us on our further journey into the heart of Love.  The one we signed up for ¨so long ago¨ and yet have been experienced into forgetting.  If you are feeling a rumble in your life that is causing you to feel some anxiety or defense this could very well be Love coming to knock on your door.  It tends to come at the most auspicious of times and in the most unlikely of ways.  At least to the conscious self.  Your Higher Self sits back and just keeps on doing what you have asked it to do, even despite the protest and fear.

SoulFullHeart offers a way to go into this rumble and support you to feel it one negotiated step at a time.  We have been through many of these rumblings and even experience them today, and use the container of parts work and space-holding as the way to open up to our next vistas of purpose and letting in more love.  To learn more about this process you can visit here.

Answering the door is the first step.  Letting love into your house is what you came here to experience….after you have some green tea of course.


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri


There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more:

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here:

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here:


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

To The Part Of You That Protects Your Heart

By Jelelle Awen


To the part that protects our hearts….This is written to the part of us that I believe we all have who is our guardian and protector. They do their jobs so well and we would not make it through life without them….AND this is an invitation for them to begin to rest and so that we can let in MORE love:

To the part of us that protects our hearts,

Will you let me thank you? Will you let in my gratitude? Will you lower your shield a moment so that you can let in my appreciation?

I want to thank you for existing. I want to thank you for coming in during the moments when life was the hardest, when there was the most pain, and when there was the most struggle.

I want to thank you for creating a bubble to ward off energies that would have harmed even more and for transmuting the harsh things so they landed softer. I want to even thank you for the numbness that descended at times so that life could be navigated.

I want to thank you for stepping in when there were no others to protect me. No one else could have cared as much as you have nor been so dedicated to your duty.

I want to thank you for every moment that you have spent in vigilance, watching over, not letting down your guard, not falling asleep on the job. I want to thank you for soaring the skies and the multiple dimensions and for being at the side of my childhood bed.

I want to thank you for all of this, and……..I want to invite you too into something new.

This something new is a relationship where you get to rest more. Where you get to trust more. Where you get to experience love for yourself. Where you get to help open the heart and not just guard it.

This something new is a relationship where I show up to hold my life as an authentic self and you get to help me. You are on my team, yet I am the leader now. I wasn’t there before and I am sorry, but now, I am arising and I have desires.

I want to open my heart to let in others. I want to flow with love and surrender to that flow and wherever it takes me. I want to dance with the currents of change and allow them to sweep me somewhere new.

I want to dance to the music of love without self consciousness or worry about what will happen next or your worry about if I will get hurt.

I am asking you to start resting even as I acknowledge how much you have done for me and that I need you on my team. Always. To help me set healthy boundaries, to help me defend myself if needed for my own safety or self love, to negotiate the rate and pace as I delve into heart and soul terrains.

I need you for these things and you need me to love you. This is new for you, but I feel your needs for love and rest. I am extending my open arms and heart out to you and I am inviting you to collapse into them when you are ready. For the first time, I am here and I can hold you now.

To the part of us that has protected our hearts….thank you and….it’s time to start letting go.


This is usually the first aspect that we work with and connect with in our SoulFullHeart Sessions with people as it is negotiation with this protector energy (also manifesting as a controlling energy) that allows for deeper access to the inner child and more suppressed aspects and energies. Through connection in sessions, journaling, dialogue, energy healing, the protective part differentiates from YOU as the arising authentic and embodying higher self.

This differentiation can lead to SIGNIFICANT changes in how you experience life, relationships, and love with much more openness, trust, and capacity to let in. The protector often presents itself as masculine and as a knight or warrior. They can have karmic ties and binds to other lifetimes and energize or appear as etheric guides or guardian angels. They have different ‘weapons’ too, sometimes swords, sometimes energy shields (or both). Identifying how your protector uses weapons and in what situations (and WHY) can be really helpful to understanding when, where, and why your heart feels ‘opened’ or ‘more closed’. It is amazing how universal this energy IS as we have so needed it to navigate 3D life here.

A way to connect with yours is to write a letter to it/him expressing similar to what I did above and anything else you feel about how protective energy shows up in your life. Then, wait for a response and write it down from your protector. You can then begin a dialogue back and forth on paper (and eventually outloud) to get to know each other. In SoulFullHeart, we provide dialogue questions for you and also help to differentiate and identify this energy, which can be challenging to separate or defuse from. It is also the feeling ground of space holding with an open hearted facilitator (who has differentiated from their protector and other 3D aspects) which helps to heal and transmute this energy.

More about sessions here:

More about the SoulFullHeart awakening and healing process here:…

The audio of this here:…/to-the-part-that-protects-our-hear…

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.