Responding To ‘Negative/Evil/Dark’ Energies As An Ambassador Of Love

Seeing energies as ‘dark demons’ or ‘attacking you’ or as ‘evil’ is the old paradigm, 3D/lower 4D way of relating to them.

It can be a polarized reaction that comes from the roots of undigested fear/trauma in your Inner Child/Inner Teenager parts. These parts are often STILL in various states of terror and PTSD from undigested traumas. They are STILL usually stuck in these traumas, living them out over and over again.

It is challenging NOT to fuse to this fear and for part of you, your Inner Protector, to then want to fight/battle in response to it. Especially if you are experiencing a repeating pattern of intense experiences and interactions with these kinds of fear-polarized energies and have been most of your life.

These kind of experiences are also heightened right now because collective consciousness is moving from 3D to lower 4D…flushing up these energies to be felt and seen. Those souls who have chosen to assist their birth family lines in healing are also experiencing a heightened sense of the fear that has been ‘passed down’ to them for healing, as I am seeing more in sessions lately.

As you draw more light into your BEing, open your heart more, experience yourself more as Divine essence….these ‘darker’ energies are drawn to you. Like moths to a flame…yet not to attack, but rather to receive LOVE from and with you. They are trying to get your attention as they can see that you have something to offer them that may finally put an end to their suffering. Seeing these energies through the eyes of compassion, you can feel then how much pain they are in and operating from.

ALL energies, ALL BEings, want to return back to love again ultimately. When responded to with love and not fear, with compassion not judgement, with curiosity not knowing…..ANY energy can transmute to love again as that is what it actually IS.

Defusing from the parts of you that are scared and the Protective parts that are trying to guard them (a ‘fight or flight’ impulse reaction) helps to open up your heart space to move into your ambassador of love essence in any situation. The new heroes and heroines of New Gaia will just BE this energy of love ambassador. This will be a crucial energy to assist with the grand awakening that is coming and the process of disclosure of more lower 4D realities that will be difficult for many souls previously anchored to 3D consciousness to digest.

This becoming of a love ambassador starts from within…seeing and feeling how these energies that you are drawing are parts and aspect of yourself or fragments from your Metasoul/Higher Self in shadow…wanting to move into the light of love again.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector, a good place to start in getting some space from the reaction of fighting that is an ingrained impulse in 3D and helping it to transform to loving guide:

Divine Mother energies (esp. Mother Mary) help you to embody these compassionate and forgiving energies in your heart. Here is a guided meditation with me and Kalayna Colibri to connect with faces of the Divine Mother:

In 1:1 session space, we can help you to separate from the scared and fearful parts of you that loop in patterns of fear and the ones that protect them, so that you can connect to the courage of your soul and the openheartedness of your heart. These Divine self frequencies are the energies that will support you to face with love anything that comes into your experience to learn from and embrace into your heart.

More information here:

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions and group sessions (virtual and in person), events, writings/books, and videos, visit

Feeling Your Protective Layers As Downloads Rain Inward – 11/11 Gateway Invitation

by Kalayna Colibri



NEW inspirations are downloading for you now. Sometimes they trickle in like a light rain from bloated rainclouds. It depends on what you’re ready for and what parts of you are opening up to. Your Gatekeeper, who is another layer of your Inner Protector, gages and siphons off these downpours and INpours of INspiration that want to come to you, to move you into new places in your life, to help you see and make those tough choices and take those challenging steps to reclaim, re-energize and reignite the flame of self-empowerment and love.

The energies leading up to the portal of 11/11 this weekend feel like a soft caress and rock music, all at the same time… there is understanding and love from the Divine and the Multi-verse, and there’s a strong invitation to shake off the dust and awaken to where love is flowing in your life and where it may not be. It’s not a violent shake, yet for some parts of you it may feel that way in moments, as the awakenings come in and take hold of your consciousness, or at least try to. Doorways, portals opening, yes, as they have been continuously, and the most powerful one imaginable is the one that begins to open up to a wider aperture inside of you. This is the one that truly invites in more energies, more upgrades, more loving ways to be in this world. It brings in desires to tread gently yet powerfully, acknowledging how this can seem like a paradox to those who haven’t experienced that you can hold both of these frequencies at once without violence or outrage or wounded masculine expressions of toil and strife, or battles and martyrdom.

If you feel ready for the downloads coming in, you can ask for them, but you cannot bypass what needs to be felt before they can integrate in the way they need and want to. For them to truly go in with love takes a lot of conscious and ongoing holding of the parts of you that don’t want them to or aren’t sure it’s okay. Your Gatekeeper, who I mentioned earlier, is the main aspect of you that is used to holding and blocking so many threads of your potential awakening that they haven’t deemed you to be ready for quite yet (and that they haven’t been ready to let in themselves, either).

My own Gatekeeper, who I first came to know as a defensive Inner Protector or Guardian, is offering to me that my readiness is ripening after what has now been several months of working with her, yet several years of working with parts of me that were dominant aspects of my personality. She says, “the soul and heart maturity level need to match with the maturity level of the arising, conscious Sacred Human, who is striving for spiritual consciousness, not in a mentally-based way, and is deeply exploring their heart and wanting to know more, FEEL more, about who they are and why, who/what the Divine is and why, as well as who they could be destined to become in conscious and empowered co-creation with the Divine… It is important to let in the process AND the downloads, to not simply try and open floodgates that are meant to and need to be there… for now. And too, the Gatekeeper needs to feel this relationship with you as your healing Sacred Human self, to trust the Divine through and with you, as so many (myself included at times, in some layers…) still feel very consciously and unfairly separated from the Divine and therefore, from the powerful force and trance of love that wants so much to flood into you and them too.”

It is a major process to feel into, this acceptance of what is being brought in, and there are many understandable defenses that want to keep it out or filter it in a way that is perhaps more digestible for now. There is nothing that can truly be missed out on here though, as each opening within you does create this ever-widening and expanding portal of access to YOU and to the Infinite Love that is the Uni and Multi-verse we exist in and through.

So perhaps the greatest invitation and inspiration being extended to us all with this 11/11 portal, is more of the same of what comes in with all of them… to continue to acknowledge and deepen the work within, to let it be and arise and take a stronger, more self-loving hold on your heart and soul. To invite in a reality that is heart-based, that works with the mind and not against it, and with the soul in a more sober way. There is so much still to feel and on the other side of that, so much more to just keep letting in as we continue our paths of deep inner transformation that continuously transform and upgrade our entire world as we kNOW it and rediscover it, today. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Soothing, Softening And Healing Our Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri


There were edges in me yesterday. They were much softer than they once were, yet were there just the same, poking outward from inside, wanting me to be covered with some spiky armor to keep energies out and to protect a preciousness inside of me, an ever-awakening yin-ness and sacred feminine energy, from being too exposed. It’s a more male-feeling edge, a masculinity that is so subtle now after years of working with energies like this on different layers of my BEing through this process of mine. This energy has needed to be there, to navigate solo life chapters, to hold my online English tutoring job, to manage my money, my body, my dog, many many pieces and parts and aspects of me and my life. A fatherly energy that has also been a mate to parts of me, drawing men he can criticize and find ways to “keep out”, and the same goes for female connections too, no matter how porous. Essentially his job has been keeping love out instead of letting it flow inward and outward as its meant to and wants to, letting go more and more of control and fear-based frequencies, letting go of expecting a battle to ensue with just about everyone on some level and allowing my inner Queen, my soft and supple yet strong inner feminine, to rise….

This is a part of me and not a part of me, too… he feels more energetic than solid as our subpersonalities/parts normally are. He is a layer of my loyal inner protector as a woman. He has helped me through so much, been a genuine knight assigned to protect my inner Queen until she is strong enough to BE on her own. He has shown up consistently and gallantly, well-beyond his call of duty. Now is the time to help him rest more and more and the only way I can truly offer him that, is to feel him every chance I get… as luck (and LOVE!) would have it, I have plenty of “grist”, as we say in SoulFullHeart in which to feel him – opportunities and situations in my life where he shows up more and I can feel him doing so. I even feel him now as I write this, editing my words, spelling and grammar a bit as I go, wanting to help me bridge this experience for YOU, whether or not you too are a woman, for men have this too. It’s a wounded masculine expression, formed in response to the pervasive wounded masculine in different timelines of our current and ever-evolving, ascending world. He says this and also offers that it is truly gutsy, deeply courageous, to question these edges these protectors provide for us… to ask them to let our vulnerability BE and shine, to let love in and show a trust in love that they don’t often have or feel unless we can help them find it again.

The hardest part of differentiating from this protector energy inside of us, is recognizing when and how it shows up. It so often has BEEN us for our whole lives up to now, and we have been convinced that this is really all there is to us in some ways (and this part has felt this about themselves). We are led to feel that what we are doing is inhabiting true man and womanhood, yet this is based so much on our often very limited and deeply wounded templating passed down from generations in our birth cultures and birth families and hasn’t yet been questioned. One of the biggest signs of any awakening on any level is starting to ask these and ANY questions like, “is this is really what I’ve been called to live as/like?”, “is this really me?”, “is this really all there is?”

The waves of movements and illuminations come into our BEing the more we open to receive them, in this process of softening and growing and relearning, in this process of getting to know our parts and uncovering our truest selves. Edges and spikes soften, reactions are challenged and soothed, fires are given fireplaces, and our hearts fill up with more and more love that was forbidden to come into us for so long.

Jelelle Awen and I are holding and hosting a group call for women this coming Saturday, where you can be supported by our energy and the yin already baking and waking inside of you. Here is the link to find out more:

Our last group call for women was this past month, and Jelelle led us through a meditation to meet our inner protectors. You can listen to the recording of the teachings and meditation from that call here:

And, Jelelle and I offer you ongoing support in service of the LOVE that you ARE through space holding sessions, should you feel called to explore more of what I’m sharing here today and how it shows up in your own BEing and life. More information on that is here:


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Integrating The Emotional Body As A Critical Aspect Of The Ascension Process

It is quite extraordinary the lengths to which our culture goes to suppress emotional expression. The 3D conditioning around relating to emotions starts at a young age as we are taught from our parents and social circles what behavior is acceptable and which is not. We are rewarded for ‘good’ behavior’ and punished for ‘bad’ behavior, which is usually connected to our ability to control our emotional reactions or not. We learn to hold back our tears, our hurts, and our pains. We learn that rage and anger are bad, along with other emotions such as shame, depression, anxiety, etc.
Aspects of us or subpersonalities form out of the wounded bed of this suppression. You experience traumatic situations that you cannot emotionally digest and clogs in your pain body are created. A part of you that is responsible for self protection and primary suppressor of emotions is formed early to navigate 3D life. The protector part of you uses control to manage life to minimize emotional triggering and seek for safety and constancy. Other parts containing the energies and tones of unwanted emotions may be deep in shadow, buried away under layers of persona and self image-based personality.
The undigested emotional woundings of these parts act as an energetic anchor related to your ascension process. Their pain frequencies emit a broadcast that lowers your vibrational frequency. Your ascension into higher consciousness states is limited to the degree that these wounds remain unhealed. This goes beyond just advocating to feel your feelings; this is an invitation to travel into the depths of your shadow and pain body in order to feel, heal, and love these frequencies so that they can transform into their healthy vibrations.
In SoulFullHeart, we do this by supporting your inner exploration with aspects of yourself, both in your 3D pain body and integrating Metasoul fractals as well. Your higher self or 5D self integrates and embodies into you as you hold space for these lower vibrational frequencies of yourself. Through self-loving curiosity and self intimacy, you feel what has previously been suppressed with the support of your SoulFullHeart Facilitator during sessions and within a community of souls engaged in the same work.
Each aspect of you has 3D, 4D, and 5D frequencies or consciousness levels. For example, the protector aspect of you in 3D is more defensive than open, vigilant about keeping you ‘safe’ above all else, and afraid to risk the unknown for growth. As the protector becomes more trusting through connection with your higher self and experience of Divine frequencies, it moves into 4D experiences of awakening, questioning, and exploration. It becomes more healthy self protection using strategies such as energy healing and support from Ethereal beings. In 4D expression, the protector is helping you as the higher self rather than just ‘taking over’ your state of being. More feminine frequencies of responsiveness and stillness are integrating in with the previously dominating masculine ones in 3D. In 5D reality, there is little need for protection in the same way as you are discerning about the energies that you will be around and the relationships that you will be engaged with (the main ground that the protector is trying to protect you in.) Also, you have fewer traumatic experiences as the magnet of your emotional wounding is not drawing them.
Each aspect goes through this kind of energetic transformation of consciousness, with eventual integration into the whole of the 5D or higher self. Another example of this transition is from 3D depression to 4D creative expression and risk taking to 5D Divine alchemy and surrender to the death-rebirth cycles of life. The process of forming a conscious relationship with the 3D versions of these aspects seems to offer a catalytic and powerful ground for this transformation.
The initial permission to feel your feelings again, to navigate beyond suppression and negotiate with your protector to begin this process are all critical related to the depth of transformation that you can experience. As you go along in the process, you come to trust more and more that the ground of this exploration provides the real safety, which comes not from suppression but from integration. The safest place from which to interface with life is from the core of your authentic expression which includes your emotional reactions and emotional digestion as a critical aspect. It is the foundation ground of your embodiment as a sacred human and key to your reseeding of consciousness to heart-based.
Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.