Author: Raphael Awen

Ascension/Divine Union Teacher. Parts/Soul Aspects Facilitator. Soul Scribe.

Spoiler Alert: It’s The Journey That Counts

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*** Spoiler Alert ***
At the end of your story, YOU WIN! You win a hundred and ten percent, hands down! ‍‍
**** Double Spoiler Alert ****
You actually already know this.

**** Triple Spoiler Alert ****
The reason ‘it’s the journey that counts, not the destination’ is because the end is already finished, complete. All that matters or has relevance now is the journey – feeling all there is to feel, seeing all there is to see!

You are in fact so perfect, and so much so, that you, knowing your fullness and completeness came here to try on being messed up, to experience lack and loss, even forgetfulness of your origin and essence.

You came here for the journey. You came here to be curious and open hearted to every part of you who hasn’t yet gotten the memo on all of this. That’s all there is to the whole entire friggin’ deal!! This is how the game is played.

What could be funner than waking up from the dream of amnesia. Wow, it was only a dream. You are ‘God as God can be’, always were, always will be!

Go figure!!!

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Messenger Of Your Boredom

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Boredom, withdrawal, antsiness, emptiness – none of these are ‘negative’.

You cannot be negated. A part of you can very understandably want to negate or put an end to these states and exchange them for more desirable ones, but the healthy, alive and lasting way to the more desirable is not by paving over, or powering through, or pretending it’s all okay.

It’s not all Okay, and every passing day is adding to that awareness inside of you. That’s what’s happening here. Your spring loaded soul essence is rubbing up against a path you are on and is producing the friction of the boredom, the withdrawal, the ache for something new.

It may not be fun, but it isn’t negative. This is a very powerful positive and alive soul spark in you that is asking for your attention and love. Your soul wants to take you through a change, a death; yes, but not without the rebirth that follows all death.

There comes a tipping point where the baking in the oven of boredom is done. You are hollowed out to your core. You have made room for what you really want. You have cleared out something profound that you are done with.

You surprised yourself. The new was on the other side of feeling all there was that needed to be felt inside of the old. The old contained all the alchemy to produce the new, as you were willing to feel all there was to be felt.

The universe is feeling through you. What is it like to be in a dead end job that stifles your true creative power? What is it like to remain in any relationship with anything or anyone that left unaddressed, only serves to keep you small? The universe gave you this assignment and is wanting your notes on the outcome. How could you pass the test with flying colors and pass along the rewards to everyone coming in your wake?

In your success, we all succeed. In your failure, if you could actually fail, we would all fail. It isn’t failure, however, if you’re not done. None of us are ever done. That’s the one thing we cannot do, to make ourselves ‘done’. We are inextinguishable life in an infinite reality. There’s no on/off switch. Life can go through hell, but it is always heaven bound, for it carries its heaven deep inside. You are this heaven awaiting more and more and more manifestation.

Boredom itself is proof of this. What is your boredom wanting to tell you? Can you hear its voice? Give it a pen and paper and let it transcribe its feelings to you. Step into your higher self to listen and to feel all that the boredom wants and needs you to feel. Feel the fear of it never changing. Shed the tears this part of you feels of feeling unnoticed as you give this part of you your deep noticing. Follow the deep light and engagement now found in loving this part of you, in allowing it to fully give to you its gifts that you were not ready up till now to receive.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For

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By Raphael Awen

You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

By our very nature, we subscribe to different pictures of reality and then these pictures manifest in our lives as ‘proof’ of our reality.

We are then biased towards the reality we created, be it a desirable one, or not so desirable, negating the multitude of other possibilities we could have created and seen as real, on the projector screen that we call our lives.

What is more real than our created realities is this ability to create realities, and even reality itself. This reality, we really need a lot of courage to face.

If the above is true, it leaves you and I responsible. It doesn’t offer us any condolences on our bad set of circumstances that life dealt us. It offers you and I deep awareness of our power.

Being responsible doesn’t mean it’s your fault; far from it. This isn’t about fault, but rather, the opposite of your fault. This is about your perfection. You are already perfect AND you are being perfected; both are true. You are taking your perfection out for a spin in a testing ground. You are response-able, meaning able to respond, able to choose to respond, able to choose with what and how you will respond.

My truth is that there is always a response point, a choice point in front of you that is about your deepest and next going-on place. It’s not that difficult to see. It’s not a hidden treasure that will take great tests and trials to discover, but rather something quite plain. Any obscurity around the choice is a product of the part of you who isn’t ready to embrace that going on place.

If part of you isn’t ready to go on and make that obvious choice, what about choosing to get to know that part? You don’t have to jump into the choice your soul knows is your going-on place by forcing or pushing the choice. You are able to choose your response. You can choose curiosity and self awareness (love) to embrace the part of you in resistance to your next choice, allowing self love and negotiation to flow naturally toward empowerment.

If you are unwilling to make that choice, then you are left in a hope-less place. You are employing your power in service of staying stuck, for the moment at least. Codependent friends, family and mates may caretake you in your choice to remain small, but life won’t. Life doesn’t see you as broken and needing to be caretaken. Life will honour your sovereign and powerful choice and leave you to the encircling standing stones of circumstance that you call your life as your current reality creation, awaiting your deeper choice point.

This is how I choose to see you. This is the reality I want to create in myself and those around me. We are the anchors in the storm. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

In Denial Of Our True Power

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By Raphael Awen

When we deny the true power we do have, we end up reaching for false power we don’t have.

Within each one of us is truly unlimited power and potential. It is not ‘power over’ others, but it is ‘power with’ others, because power by its very nature is sourced in the source of The All which is love. When we attempt to utilize power for malevolent reasons, to harm, or to take, we are not connected to our true power, but are acting out of the deeper fear of being powerless.

If we pause to reflect on our own lives, or the life of anyone around us, well known, or not so well known, we can readily see this ongoing relationship we all have with our own power. Even those who reach the heights of what we call and esteem as power, possessing great financial wealth, can actually be the most dispossessed of their own true power. Without an assurance of one’s true power, no amount of external power can compensate for this absence of internal knowing.

You are meant to feel powerful. You cannot live and love in a healthy life without a grounded sense of your own power. Trust in the universe is power. The currency flow of trust and care in relationships is power. Real power is the healthy flow of love that you feel coming to you and through you, that affords you a sense of deep wellbeing in the world.

But what do you do if you honestly lack this? You reach for the true power you do have – the power to be honest with yourself. If you are willing to be honest with yourself, no one, and no thing can stop you. This is personal disclosure.

If that’s true, then why is it so rare? Why are we in thrall collectively to superstars who are full of externalized power, but empty on the inside? Is it because we have been conditioned and conned out of awareness of our own great power?

My truth is that the path for anyone of us into our own power is to find and feel the part of ourselves, the self within us who doesn’t feel powerful, who holds this conditioning of powerlessness. This is the portal to our true power. When we get to really know this part of ourselves, and feel its feelings, its sufferings, going on inside of us, we enter the portal of our true power.

Who would have thought that the path to power would be about exploring our innate feelings of powerlessness? We busied ourselves instead in the self help aisles, and churches, and meditation halls seeking ways to become powerful, rather than to get in touch with our powerlessness. We sought out compensations to cover for our impotence. And in it all, all of these great efforts and undertakings and trophies of power now tumble into a deep call to get to know the powerlessness that they were founded upon, a bandaid to cover over. The real prize is finding this portal that we couldn’t see before that is the entry point of our consciousness into the fullness of power that we are.

It makes sense that we would deny our true power, that we needed to, even, in order to come to terms with such infinite and great power that we are at the essence and core of our being. We needed to learn what it isn’t before we could learn what it is.

Every circumstance in your life that makes you feel powerless, isn’t actually ‘making’ you anything. You created and drew these circumstances into your life as a theater in which to awaken, a theater in which to choose. It can be hard as hell, (though it doesn’t have to be) but this is also evidence of the power you actually are; you chose a path that would challenge you. You chose a path where there was something truly at stake.

So when will you be done with the pretense of power that prohibits you from entering your true power? When will you leave off the Viagra chemicals of pretense power and begin to re-experience again what a natural and healthy flow of your power looks and feels like, able to rise for the occasion, and to take a bow when the performance is over?

I can tell you that every last one of us, bar none, will be needing to find and feel these powerless parts of ourselves. In an infinite power universe, you are left feeling like more of a beginner the deeper you go.

This is a brand new world and it’s here now. No need to wait on any saviors, other than you. Your desire, your ache, your choice to embrace your next going-on place is what this whole deal is about.

If I, and SoulFullHeart process feel like a resource to you, do get in touch. I’d love to serve your arising bigness into the world. There’s a party of epic proportions underway and this is your early invite.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Journal To The Demiurge – Day 1

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Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 1

By Raphael Awen

I have been guided to undertake a journaling journey of an ambassadorship to connect with the Demiurge. The Demiurge is the Christian male ‘God’, who is also known as Jehovah or Yahweh in the Bible.

The Gnostics, whose writings were discovered in 1945 at a place called Nag Hamadi in upper Egypt, brought to us many new gospels that were not included in the Christian Bible and it was they who, following Platonic philosophy, related to the Christian ‘Yahweh’ as the ‘Demiurge’. This term ‘Demiurge’ is taken from Latin words meaning the ‘artisan, producer, or creator’. This creator of the material world sought to rule with dominance and required duty and obligation as its main offering of how to form a relationship with itself. The 4th century Roman version of Christianity, then crafted Jesus into this need for blood sacrifice required by the Demiurge, leaving Christian followers under a strong dominance of duty and control, aligning quite well with the Roman agenda.

I know the Christian God very well from a Christian perspective, having journeyed through my childhood along with 26 adult years as a devout Christian before I came to finally and openly renounce ‘Jesus as my personal savior’ in 2005, and from there to re-feel my entire relationship with ‘God’ or the Divine.

Please join me now as I feel called to set out through a daily journal journey to create an Ambassadorship from within to meet with and communicate with this Demiurge, Yahweh, or Jehovah.

What will we find? I truly don’t know, but I so want to find out, and I’m being supported to undertake this journey, feeling my trepidation as I go.

Your reading and feeling this journey with me as it unfolds daily will create the vehicle of approach, kind of like signatures on a petition to gain audience with a King. Your participation along with mine, changes the journey, as well as the outcome.

Here is day one, launched on this auspicious solstice day:

~

Raphael: This is Raphael. I’d like to connect with my highest and most familiar guides, Archangel Metatron and Merlin, my Unicorn, to inquire about guidance to form an Ambassadorship to the Demiurge, or whom the Christians know as Yahweh, or Jehovah. Metatron, and Merlin, will you speak with me?

Metatron: Yes, Raphael. It feels good to connect with you, and with what desires are brewing for you. What are you feeling?

Raphael: This desire has arisen in me in the form of an idea, a mental contemplation, along with a curious desire to explore, and to really change my world and experience, yet further. This idea is expanding to feel like guidance and a calling. Then comes doubts and questions. Do I know what I’m getting myself into? Do I really want to mess with the Demiurge? Then I feel all the lifetimes and time this life I have dedicated to Yahweh, how familiar I am with his temple worship and communities, and it feels quite doable, somehow. Part of me does wonder though what preparations or confirmations I should gather prior to undertaking such a quest.

Metatron: Raphael, this is a worthy quest, and a weighty one. It is worth all the preparation and guidance that you need. It is worth feeling through any and all resistance or fears that come from within, or without. I would be so honored to feel you and guide you every step of the way.

Raphael: Metatron, what can you even tell me about the Demiurge? Are you familiar with it? Do you feel it as a person, as an Archetype, as a collective consciousness? I’d like your take on that?

Metatron: Raphael, if I could answer that, there really would be no need to explore, would there? The short answer to your QUESTion is that even I don’t know. If I did, I could just share with you what I know and voila, problem solved. I am into supporting you and taking this journey with you. I, like you, can feel the Demiurge as a powerful dominating energy that has suppressed humanity and your planet into a sleepy slumber in prolonged forgetfulness. I know that it feeds off of people’s worship and surrender to it, and that it is never satiated, always wanting and needing more like an addict.

Raphael: Like it’s wanting and needing an intervention of some kind?

Metatron: It’s wanting and needing something, that’s for sure. It has been center stage in humanity’s consciousness and subconsciousness seeking immortality. If it is ready to make or entertain change, then that would be so cool to assist it with.

Raphael: It doesn’t sound like you feel afraid of it?

Metatron: I respect it. I know it has power, but I don’t fear it. If I feared it, I could not reach out to it.

Raphael: How is it that you don’t fear this powerful being or energy?

Metatron: I come in service of love, from which all consciousness, even that which polarized to dark or evil energies, gets its authorization. Love is the author of all. My truth is that there is no real evil, only that which hasn’t yet experienced the feeling of love as an energy. If something negative ‘happens’ to me, it happens to me under the authorization and permission of love, for me to learn and feel something that I haven’t felt yet, and need to feel.

Raphael: Is there still stuff you need to feel?

Metatron: Feel and Heal is still the Deal, Raphael. That is the journey back to source. I’m still not sure what happens when and if we are ever done with that, but like you, I’m curious as hell.

Raphael: Hell is curious isn’t it? and so is Heaven. They both want to know and feel more.

Metatron: That’s like the itch of consciousness itself, expressed in every expression of consciousness, including the time and space domains.

Raphael: I’m liking how easy it feels to connect with you.

Metatron: Good, because we’re going to need to get comfortable if we are going to undertake this mission together.

Raphael: Which I haven’t officially declared yet, still baking on the guidance and gathering the energy in my desire body I’d call it, and calling in all favors too from you and Merlin.

Metatron: I’m curious what Merlin has to say?

Raphael: Me too, Merlin, what say you? If that’s enough intro for you?

Merlin: Whoah, a freakin’ journey to the Demiurge with Raphael and Metatron. I’m in!

Raphael: That easy? No concerns or hesitations?

Merlin: What’s there to lose, Raphael?

Raphael: As I feel this QUESTion in your familiar presence and broadcasting energy field, Merlin, I can feel there is a whole lot to lose, here in the earth zone, which we’ve been waiting and wanting to lose for an awful long time, which makes all of the losses gains. I can feel though that life as we’ve known it, personally and collectively, would have huge shifts internally and externally if this were to shift, and this can feel like genuine deep losses for the parts of us attached to life as we’ve known it, regardless of how much suffering there is in what is being given up.

Merlin: Now I’m taking in your broadcast energy field Raphael… I’m sorry for the intense pain you and your fellow humans have felt under the Demiurge’s reign. I don’t get to feel that much as I don’t live in that energy. It feels so sad, now that I feel it….so much time stretched out to magnify this feeling.

Raphael: Maybe, Merlin, what you and I are feeling is being broadcast from the unfelt heart of the Demiurge itself, the emptiness, a universe-sized heart cry expressing in a compensational need to have dominion as a placeholder in love’s absence?

Merlin: THAT,…finding out what is or isn’t true about that would be worth all the worth there is, I’d say.

Raphael: You have a way of making your point.

Merlin: funny, and true!

Raphael: Wow, Merlin and Metatron, as we are connecting about this, I so feel it expanding in me. I so need the journal pieces here, one line and word, one feeling at a time to let this in.

Metatron: What’s going in, Raphael?

Raphael: A desire to undertake this journey…, to gather all the necessary resources and do it. I so feel bored with anything less, truth be told. I’ve lived lifetimes, as well as 26 adult years of life, this life, up until 12 years go, dedicated to the Christian God, and have come to feel suspect of his origins, how he/it co-opted our innate connection to source. All of this moving in me is coming from a recent deepening with my Gatekeeper, named Rhodes, whom I feel to introduce tomorrow, and allow all this intention and desire to bake.

Metatron: This journey is so worth all the time and process it takes. I so want to feel Rhodes take on all this too.

Raphael: How do you feel Metatron about sharing this journey in real time?

Metatron: You are speaking my language now, Raphael. I so feel that it has traction and realness when it is felt and digested in more hearts. This is a big collective piece of wounding and it needs a big collective heart to create an Ambassadorship to it. It’s a collective heartache wounding that can only heal collectively. Without mounting a posse of hearts, there isn’t enough substance to bridge to the dimension where this pain lives. Sharing this with supportive and open hearts will create this.

Raphael: And sharing it publicly also puts it out there for those, human and not, who are invested with the Demiurge to see it too, right?

Metatron: It’s only fair to let them all know we wish audience, to let them acclimate to where we are coming from. Better they see us coming than taking anyone by surprise. We have nothing to hide.

Raphael: I can tell you wish to say something Merlin, you’re broadcasting again…

Merlin: I am?…ah, yeah, that’s what I do, don’t I? The universe is waiting is what I’m feeling. My god! We get to do this…., really. Holeeee! Can you tell, I’ve wanted to do this since my teenage years in earth life. This is going to take me back to where I can’t even know right now. And that’s what makes it so worth it. This has waited till such a time as this, and till such a heart as yours Raphael, could lead the way. We haven’t had the emotional heart porosity that real ambassadorship is about, but we do now, in you.

Raphael: I do have to wade through some 3D senses of myself in order to let in your perspective of me, but I can feel the truth of what you speak to, Merlin. I have journeyed to open my heart out of a conscious hunger for love, and feel called to share this, even enough to self authorize.

Merlin: Which is the only true authority there is, that which flows from the universe and rings true in one’s own heart. No one can certify you in this. It’s either true for you, or it’s not. After all, it’s you that needs to walk it out, not an organization or a governing hierarchy. That’s the way of the Demiurge that we need to gain audience with.

Raphael: Okay, I’m feeling to take this up again tomorrow, to allow this to digest, and to let in more confirmation and guidance. Standby all, and deepest gratitude for this cocreation.

~ Join me tomorrow for this continuing journey! ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 2 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

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Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 2

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 2. For Day 1, and the entire ongoing series, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Good Morning team. It’s December 22, day 2 of the New Year, if we go by the Solstice Calendar that is, always a special time of the year for me, and it’s day 2 of the Journal to the Demiurge. And I have 2 questions: ‘Is everyone awake?’, and ‘what are you feeling about this journey?’

Metatron: Raphael, this is Metatron. I was awake and sorting my pack for some time already. I’m feeling this is real. This may feel like an epic tale to some, but we are actually creating this. It’s a real tale.

Merlin: This is Merlin, I agree with Metatron. I’m as awake as can be, and I’m feeling very excited.

Raphael: Okay, that explains all the energy moving through me, or at least a big part of it. There’s another part I need to bring on board, into this intentional space, that I mentioned yesterday, and that’s Rhodes, my Gatekeeper. But before I make his introduction, I need to acknowledge the others joining us for this multidimensional journey. There is an audience, in the truest sense of the word, who are auditing this journey, coming with us, in this beyond time and space auditorium of resonance. The seats are filling up and I want to do this together with them. I’ve specifically invited them and will keep inviting. This is humanity’s journey. We gave our power to the Demiurge, and it’s us who need to lead an ambassadorship to negotiate that back. I want to ask each of you to include this auditorium of hearts and souls as we go.

Now, allow me to introduce Rhodes. Rhodes is whom I call my Gatekeeper. A Gatekeeper is the higher dimensional part of us that relates to our lives from a place beyond 3D time and space. They hold our access to many gifts and our awakening relationship with the divine that we and they are. As we heal more and more of our 3D emotional wounding from the 3D life we are in, the Gatekeeper arises naturally leading us through transitional 4D and beyond into the 5D domains of our Higher Self. I believe we all have one, or more. It seems versions of them arise and fall beautifully through our lives, into accessing more of what we truly are in our higher, and ever higher, essence. We call them a Gatekeeper because they also hold access to our remembrance of what I call our Metasoul, the source we came from after we individuated off the Divine. We get to awaken alongside our Gatekeepers and enter an exchange with them that is as unlimited as we are ready to let in.

I met Rhodes through an intense death and rebirth feeling toned intensity that rumbled through an epic, but manageable meltdown in my life just a couple of months ago. Since then, he has been acclimating to me and me to him. We can both feel we have deepenings to explore and feel and remember together and we want to feel it all as we go. I feel Rhodes as the backbone of this journey, and I want to ask him to introduce himself.

I’m very, very proud, glad, excited, and honored to introduce you Rhodes. So Rhodes,… please…

Rhodes: Hello everyone. I’m touched to be here and be on this journey with you. I’ve been quite hidden and under the radar, intertwined in Raphael’s life and journey until recently. I’ve been getting comfortable with being differentiated, comfortable with Raphael and then a few souls beyond. This is like being in a room of very bright lights, but in a good way, though I may need my sunglasses at times.

To our task at hand, I felt Metatron and Merlin juicing myself and Raphael with this idea and it felt like it has been baking not only for the past weeks, but for something outside of time. I have felt my own suppression being under the rule of the Demiurge, and have come to feel how it reflects a self imposed rule that I placed over myself. That rule and its domination is now coming to light and I, we, and any and all we can get to join us, are being invited to find our own versions of this self imposed hell, this penalty for sin, and to come to absolve ourselves by feeling a love we were heretofore unable to feel. That’s why I’m here. I have much to feel and heal, and I want every bit of it. Thank you so much for including me on this epic journey Raphael, which so gives us an adventure to get to know and feel each other deeper inside of. Thank you Merlin and Metatron. You both feel so amazing to me; A personal Unicorn and an Archangel, I want to sit at your feet, is all I can say… thank – you. And thank you to the gathering posse of hearts as Raphael refers to you. I am honored to be in each of your presence.

Raphael: There you go. The magic you feel when there is relational space to feel. Thank you Rhodes. I so look forward and backward too, to all we are, and were, and will be. It’s all true, and coming truer still.

Wow, okay, that’s a lot of goodness to feel.

Wow, what next?…

Metatron: You got this Raphael…

Raphael: Thank you Metatron. I feel like I’m getting a download from you and Merlin both right now, so I’ll just go with it. It feels like laying some groundwork for the mission at hand:

What I hear is that the Demiurge is a god of our own making. We created it individually and collectively. You could say we made him up in our imaginations, and in that, you would be both accurate and inaccurate. On one hand, yes, the Demiurge is a figment of our imagination, but that does not mean it isn’t real. Everything that has reality is a figment of some imagination. We need to wrap our hearts, and to whatever degree we can, wrap our minds around this relationship between the imagination and reality. Reality isn’t as real as we think it is, not in the ways we feel it to be.

I’m speaking this now to the parts of me who feel understandable trepidation about making a quest such as this. I, we, along with the present and past God seeking community have created this being out of our own imaginations, a fact created in our own personal and collective fact-ories. This God is as real as real can be, but if we created it, then it is up to us to take responsibility for what we created, and see what can shift and change and heal in reconnection. I believe there is only one source of every created thing, where even darkness, evil and suffering serve the journey of returning to love and expanding love in the process. If I didn’t feel this in my bones, I wouldn’t have the courage to lead this quest.

I believe the Demiurge is somewhere inside of itself looking for redemption, its own onward journey to the love that it is, and was, is sourced in, and may also be ready to feel remorse for the suffering and pain it has caused to feeling sentient creatures.

How’d I do Metatron?

Metatron: Absolute heavenly perfection, Raphael, near as I can tell, as you like to say.

Raphael: Merlin, what sayest thou? Pardon, me, I’m feeling a bit giddy with the juice in here.

Merlin: Let’s get this party started in here. I so honour this intention and the weight of it, AND I feel, the divine wants us to do this for the opposite motivation of duty and obligation. Duty and obligation is the Demiurge’s deal. The only valid motive for this is for the pure fun of it. We get to love. We get to feel. We get to enter the unknown.

Raphael: I’m so glad you’re on board with all this Merlin, because I don’t have it figured yet how we will even get to the Demiurge, let alone gain audience with him, but I suspect you and Rhodes will sort out the dimensional travel along with the audience we seek.

Merlin: We all will, Raphael, and I know none of us are coming back the same, including the whole posse of hearts, which are all needed for this to move what is ready and wanting to move.

Raphael: Reminds me of that song we sang in church ‘you won’t leave here, like you came, in Jesus name…’, and truth is we were all changed, and many of us changed so much so, event-ually, one event at a time, we found the untidy seams in the paradigm, where our hearts and minds were able to feel the hijack of our divinity being held in subjection to something foreign.

Metatron: You need to speak more to that Raphael, about those events you speak of.

Raphael: Thank you. Let’s do that, but let’s do that tomorrow. I’m feeling to let all this from today land in our gathering posse of hearts, and in my own heart some more, and what I’m feeling moving in Rhodes as well. This is urgent AND we have all the time in the world, as this is what time is for… feeling and healing.

Metatron: Okay, let’s hit the beach then for now and get some sun codes I say.

Raphael: Perfect, and we’ll all meet at this same cosmic address tomorrow. Thank you every ONE.

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Personal Disclosure Ahead Of The Storm

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By Raphael Awen

Will Hillary ending up in jail in an orange onesie really do it for you?

There’s a lot of dark stuff going down every day that is being kept out of the mainstream news cycles, and there’s a TON of people who know about it and more every day who are waking up to it, along with a big growing cloud of anger and outrage.

The Q and Qanon posts that appear to be credible high up insider information serve to stir the pot and keep people on the edge of their seats waiting for a big event, involving the exposure finally for all to see of Pizza Gate, or the suppression of free energy, or of the corruption of the US three letter agencies, etc, all tied higher upstream to a darker illuminati or khazarian mafia, and even off-planet connections, etc. who have a deep dark control agenda.

Many are even referring to these powers as ‘the powers that were’ as they are seeing their inevitable downfall, and their, at present very compromised power structures.

Part of me can so feel this rumble that wants to happen, and the new world possibilities that can happen following these disclosures. It’s quite a vortex of energy to get into and rabbit holes to explore. The world we participate in every day, relied on, trusted, and came to despair of in so many ways, is changing, and wants to change – all the way.

But then, it’s here, but not quite here at the same time, so overdue. It’s kind of like a bad case of constipation. You need to go real bad, but you can’t!

If we are able to feel our own personal disclosures that need to happen and are also being pressed upon at the same time as these global shakedowns are occuring, I feel we will find the personal ground to be with and navigate these changes for ourselves personally. There’s plenty of souls who need to express the outrage and supply the energy for the storm (think bowel movement) that’s underway. You, however, may be called to feel the storm that’s brewing inside of your own heart, and let go of the focus on the external storm.

What disclosures have you kept inside of you, that are wanting to be shared with your world around you? What secrets is a part of you holding and ashamed of that this part of you feels would be your downfall if they were to be revealed? Can you feel, get to know and negotiate with the parts of you who feel this way? What would choosing to reveal rather than being forced to reveal, or ‘exposed’ look like for you? Do you have a part of you inside that feels like Hillary that awaits your connection?

All of us, I feel have participated in and explored the darkness. The light is now dawning brighter than it ever has making all secrets a thing of the past. We can either hunker down deeper in this stress of hiding, or we can surrender to the love and light that wants to take all of us into a new place.

The whole point for each of us is to feel. To feel how our actions and choices affected parts of ourselves and others is to feel remorse. Feeling remorse is acknowledging the reality of heart and emotion at the core of the universe. Feeling is acknowledging the love that we all are, (including Hillary) that we came from, and are returning to.

If we are all one, ultimately, then none of us get to be fully home until all of us are home. This is a ‘none left behind’ scenario.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Contact me for a free intro to the personal awakening processes we offer to begin your own personal disclosure out into the open light of day. I’d like to help you feel what you may be struggling to feel. More at the link above. 🙂

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Day 3 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

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Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 3

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 3 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Good Morning team. Pardon me, I realized that I’m the only one on the team that needs to sleep…, well, me and the posse of hearts here too.

Metatron: Sleep is good, Raphael. You feel awake though.

Raphael: I so do. The past few years have felt challenging to parts of me having as much free time as I do, quite an adjustment from the busyness of life that I knew in other settings and times. But this journey before us is rumbling through me with a passion and an excitement. It’s 4:30 in the morning as I sit on the patio in the predawn thumbing away again on this iPad. Thank you for this joint mission.

Metatron: What do you feel about that on a deeper level?

Raphael: hmmm. I’m feeling how all my life, I, or the part of me living my life as me at that time, sought mission and purpose. God forbid, pardon the pun, that I would lead a meaningless life. This part of me, so wanted to escape boredom. I still feel I have aspects of my Metasoul that want to heal and feel that one through my present life story to this day. This was so much a part of the draw to Christianity, getting approval and purpose from thee creator, thee God, with a capital ‘g’, thee God of everything. Where this all lands in me in this moment is that I still feel we play a big role with our intentions and choice points about how we are going to relate to life.

Metatron: What’s your intention for today, for now?

Raphael: I feel, and I like starting my intentional statement with the words, ‘I feel’,… I feel I want to be intentional and conscious of everything I’m feeling as I’m feeling it. Am I feeling everything that’s moving through me and giving love to any place of fear, giving curiosity to any place of tension or hiding? Am I showing up for myself?

Metatron: Wow, there’s a new universe, right there! And certainly doesn’t sound like one ruled by the Demiurge!

Raphael: Yes! I still very much want aliveness, and juice flowing through my veins, but I want a different relationship with all of that inside of me. I get to feel, I like to say.

Metatron: We said we’d like to talk about your Christian journey and the events that led to its demise in you. This feels like a good time to get into that. The journey to the Demiurge will need us all being brought up to speed on some of this for sure.

Raphael: Okay. I get to story tell some. I like that. There are still parts of me that have pieces to feel and heal around all of this and so sharing is an opportunity to feel them, and this journey then gets to re-create the whole deal as well.

As I said, I so wanted purpose and mission. As a teen, I wanted to escape the aimlessness I felt around me and even in my family’s version of ‘Christianity light’, as I saw it at the time. I left the family denomination at 19, where I was already an active youth leader, in one fell swoop, decided to renounce my infant baptism, by choosing adult baptism, joined another non-denominational church and signed up for the full time Bible School they hosted. I had become really drawn to miracles, signs and wonders. I wanted something real, that I could feel. I felt how the longstanding family history in a denomination felt dead to me, culturally stuck, and sooo eternally  and damnably boring. I had sat through 2 church services every Sunday since I was a week or two old, and about the only thing I hated more was the dentist.

I recall as a young boy, around 5 years old, as spring had sprung and the snow had receded in northern British Columbia, the neighborhood boys were rounding up a group to go play baseball. I looked high and low for my treasured ball glove, but couldn’t find it. After I had looked everywhere, it dawned on me that ‘God knew where my ball glove was’. I paused and prayed to God to help me find my glove, then opened my eyes, resumed my search, and boom, there it was. ‘God’ was just a given in my reality.

At 17, I ‘knew I wasn’t living right’, and that ‘I would go to hell if I died’. The pot smoking and wanting to get my hands up a girls shirt were things that had to go. I was also living with a self diagnosis of suffering with a big ‘inferiority complex’ and depression. This was the moment I made my first cult switch, as I dropped my circle of friends overnight, and jumped into my family’s Christianity. I again bargained with God ‘that unless he delivered me from my inferiority complex, I wouldn’t amount to anything’ which is kind of funny now as I feel it. I kind of told God that he needed to cough up or he wasn’t going to get any goods out of me. The crazy thing though was about 3 weeks later, while out driving my dads car, it dawns on me that I had not had any deep depression feelings for that whole time. I sincerely believed that God had answered my desperate prayer and heart cry. My energy field shifted and it wasn’t long and I was President of the youth group at our church, and the inferiority subsided.

Merlin: Wow, Raphael. I think it would have been better had you managed to get your hands up more girls shirts.

Raphael: I know! right? Merlin, thanks for jumping in here. This can all use some breathing. Part of me so was afraid of my sexuality and my desires for mateship as well, that ‘giving it all to God’ felt like ‘the right thing to do’. Again, I pawned off onto God for safekeeping what I was afraid of, just like I was afraid of my inferiority and depression and needed to use God as a way to escape it.

I met a young woman at this time through some church youth volunteer mission work, and we found our way into a romance and I felt like my life went instantly from a 2 to 9.5 on a scale of 10. Sex was being ‘saved for marriage’, and this was any kind of ‘sex’ other than kissing. When she broke up with me 11 months later, I knew it had to do with me wandering from the family faith that we were both deeply a part of, and looking to greener pastures of more exciting forms of Christianity, even the dreaded Charismatic Movement. The day following our break up, my family was away on a weekend camping trip and I sat in the black lazy boy chair in the empty living room with the house to myself, and the well of tears wanted to come, but I was able to hold them, and the depression at bay. I called a friend instead to arrange to go for coffee. Something in me ‘knew that I knew’ not to go to that ocean of tears. I again called on God to deliver me from this pain. I managed to walk away unscathed on the surface. It would be not until 19 years later that I re-encountered my depression, finally able to self lovingly let it arise to the surface to begin feeling it. Wow, talk about an effective suppression strategy, and ‘God’ was at the center of it.

How am I doing Metatron? We felt to go to me sharing about the demise of my Christianity, and I’m taking the long road  to get there…

Metatron: You’re doing perfectly. How are you feeling as you are sharing this?

Raphael: I’m feeling a ton of compassion for the me who managed and lived all of that through, for the reasons I did. I can feel another version of me who could have been able to weep all those tears at that time of the deepest conscious loss of my life; the me who is here now. And that feels good.

Metatron: Your sharing feels good too. Please…

Raphael: So, then is about when I was preparing to jump ship again and trade in everything I had for the Charismatic Movement in Christianity. I so wanted to be able to ‘speak in tongues’ as they called it. I felt this was proof of the real power of God. I knew I was ‘saved’, and my fears of hell were well behind me now in the rear view mirror, but I so wanted to feel this miracle kind of experience. It was a bit of a long journey finally arriving at the moment where in response to a church altar call, I was essentially coached into being able to access prayer language, but what a glorious moment it was feeling this miracle of prayer language flow through me in all kinds of dialects and intonations that I could play with at will. I went home that night and prayed for another hour. I knew I was at a turning point.

After a few more months of logistics and gathering the courage, I knew it would have to be a tear-the-bandaid-off kind of approach. My father had said a few months prior that if I left the church, or got adult baptized, I’d have to move out of the house. I sat him down one evening and told him in one breath and one non-stop sentence, that I was leaving the church, resigning from my youth group presidency, joining the Charismatic Church I’d been visiting, attending their full time Bible School in the fall as well as getting adult baptized. He said nothing, looked away and asked my mom for an aspirin as his headache had flared up just then. He came down to my room later that evening and told me, quite surprisingly, that he felt that if I felt my Heavenly Father was guiding me, then who was he, as my earthly father to stand in the way.

It’s interesting I’ve managed to connect with my dad, Jim, as a guide, since he passed away close to 10 years ago now. He died a few years after me jumping ship yet again, leaving Christianity, leaving a 23 year marriage, and admitting I no longer held Jesus as my personal savior. My last memory of him in this life was him in a hospital bed looking so weak a few weeks before he died, as I felt my inner boy part of me looking at him in his weakness, recalling his admiration of his dad’s once strong body. My dad garnered his energy to sit up and tell me with his forefinger pecking at the roll-away bedside eating table that ‘God said in his word that we are to honor our father and our mother, and that He ‘instituted’ family.’ We were miles apart and I chose not to go back to sit again in that energy for any more of that disconnect.

I can so feel his new energy now and feel to let him pop in here, as I’ve energized him by speaking about him.

Jim: Thank you Raphael. I love your new name. It so rocks. We gave you the name Marvin, but you chose Raphael. I’m so sorry I fed you the horse shit pile called Christianity that I was fed. I didn’t find the courage to stand up to it like you did. I know we agreed to these roles before acting them out together, but I still feel sadness that you felt pain. That was some tuff shit we agreed to. And I want to say that the Bible is the biggest horse shit pile of them all, some really attractive horse shit mind you, but shit none the less. I don’t feel afraid of God from where I am today, but boy, did I ever in my life with you. I always thought I wasn’t a coward, standing up to bullies, but you are standing up to the biggest bully of them all. I’m so proud of you.

Raphael: There you have it! Thank you Jim. That changes the energy doesn’t it!? Your voice and presence feels so accessible and I’ll count you in as another guide on this journey. Big horse shit piles! Wow. Part of me is remembering all that doctrine just now about omnipresence, omnipotence, and a few other omni’s, like omniscience.

Merlin: Sounds to me like Jim got over his God-fearing ways, and I say we sniff out the same horse shit. If God had to prattle on about his Omni this and Omni that, it sounds to me like he never had it to begin with. We gave that to him as a sacrifice of our own divinity, borne out our insecurity and unfelt wounds. We’ve been eating horseshit ever since and calling it dinner. Fucking no more!!

Raphael: Okay, and now a swearing Merlin on our hands. You usually come off so wise sounding and even-tempered Merlin…

Merlin: There’s some things that really need some fire,… earth, wind and fire, yes and Amen, if that sounds any better…

Raphael: It’s all perfect, and I need to pause for today and pick this up right where we’re leaving off if I may. I feel juiced about the opportunity to share more of my story and feel your digestions of it as we go. Metatron?…

Metatron:  I’ll need the day to take in Jim and Merlin, ‘fucking no more!’ I love it. Where did we ever this morality horseshit about what’s right, wrong, and proper, instead of feeling what we feel. So yes, I’m good and I’ll be ready when you are.

Raphael: Thanks everyone, and a big salute again to the growing posse of hearts joining this journal and journey. Same time, same channel, manana.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Patreon Monthly Money UPdate: March 2018

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

March is Done – well done! I’m excited to share with you our Monthly Money UPdate. It’s all good news!

We’ve been doing this ‘transparentizing’ of our money picture each month wanting to live into this new world of transparency and invite others into it with us. Whatever led us to be so private about money anyways?!

We have some desires/needs this month that we’d like to share with you. The first is a new (used) computer for Jelelle. Her 2008 Macbook Pro is on its last legs, having served so faithfully. We’ve found a 2014 Macbook Pro for $750 USD that we plan to purchase soon. If you’d like to contribute to that, it will come back to you in many service of love messages over the years ahead. 🙂

Then there is the ‘UK In May’ – Glastonbury budget of $21,000 USD for the five us. We are almost ‘not here’ anymore here in Mexico, it feels like, with our hearts and desires so feeling the new timeline and change in location. Gabriel and Kalayna have both taken it on themselves to ‘turn on the afterburners’ (my words) with more english teaching each day to keep this moving forward. Raianna is also just about to be launching her own income generation with english teaching as well, being almost complete with her TESL certification.

The items in the Glastonbury budget amount are, in order from largest to smallest: airfare, first and second months rent, dentist, clothing, some debt to pay off for recently purchased computer equipment, 3 used Macbook Pros, a used Iphone, luggage, visa entry fees, and veterinary fees. We are at around 10% funded at the moment. Would you like to help us with any of these items above? We’d so gladly accept your love and gifts!

Here is the our Money UPdate for March, 2018:

(all figures in US Dollars)

Revenue breakdown as follows:

$1,708 – Gabriel and Kalayna’s English Teaching through VIPkid.

$1,112 – Donations for Sessions.

$24 – Group Call Donations for our one Group Call this month.

$79 – General Donations – People just sending money!

$2,923 – Total Revenue – that’s $584 a person!

Thank you to all of you for your interest, desire, love, and money. A very special thank you to those who are a part of weekly SoulFullHeart session space, as well as to our precious Patreons. More about our Programs here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

So from myself, Jelelle Awen , Kalayna Colibri , Gabriel Heartman , and Raianna Shai , as well as from some near and dear souls presently deepening with us, THANK YOU, for your love, for your support, and for showing us your love in the form of money. 🙂

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com

In this new relationship to money and needs, I was inspired to begin a new series of writings called ‘Entering The Superabundance That You Are’. You can find the first installment here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/entering-the-superabundance…/

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Entering The Superabundance That You Are Series ~ Day One

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

What would you do if you were given a truckload of ripe beautiful produce? Apples, oranges, papayas, mangoes, potatoes, carrots, you name it. Beautiful organic produce.

A dozen or two for the counter and the fridge, but then what? Maybe a some freezing, some dehydrating for the really ambitious…but you still haven’t dented the supply.

You could set up a street shop or head for the farmers market and try selling them, but you’d probably need some permit you don’t currently have, and the produce is gonna only be good for a matter of hours. At best, you’d sell a few and make some pocket money, enough to pay for the disposal fee at the dump for all the leftovers.

You can either let it go to waste, or, you can simply give it away to anyone who’s glad to have it.

I’d head for the street (a needy street) and bellar out to anyone in earshot – ‘free apples – free papayas – free carrots’. I’d get that truck emptied out and given away before anyone could come along to tell me I can’t do that here. ‘Take and dozen, take a pallet!’

I wouldn’t technically be any richer financially at the end of the day, but I would have enriched myself on some quantum levels. I would have participated in the conviction of the super abundant universe. I would have given this experience to the part of me concerned and anxious about my needs for money in our over commercialized world, and allowed this part of me to taste and sniff a new reality.

YOU are this truckload of goodies.

You may well not realize it, but you are being invited into this dawning realization. Your anxiety about money and your ties to your job, or to your pension, or to your dying mother’s inheritance, (or whatever else) as being your source of ‘livelihood’ are all being invited into a brand new world of epic proportions.

Here’s the new world order in a nutshell: Discover your deepest goodies, and give them away – for FREE. You planting this kind of super-value into a super-abundant universe can not NOT return to you with all that you most deeply need for your wellbeing. You may not want to, nor would it be advisable to drop your job overnight, but how could you begin to adapt to this new reality?

What goodies are going to waste in your current relationship to your super-value? What gifts do you have to give that are not being given? What artistry are you waiting for scarce money for as the condition of your sharing it?

A few years ago, I knew It was time to let go of a great little cash cow money machine that I’d built up in 3D over a 30 year period. I’d shifted my relationship to it in many ways, began to explore my deeper soul gifts, but now the time had come to completely let go of it. I enjoyed the self employed work and could all too easily drum up jobs that paid many times what any going rates were. It taught me a lot and It was my means to give to the world in many ways, but now its end had come. Enough money was able to be pooled to live out a year and a bit, to follow our dream of offering soul and healing work, letting that take us to Mexico, and then we arrived at our last couple hundred dollars, between three of us and two dogs. As this time approached, I had been feeling myself living deeper and deeper into the above awareness I’m offering to you. My consciousness could feel that I wasn’t going to starve and die. It may get really tight and it might get really painful adjusting, but I wouldn’t die. The locals around me in poor towns all around in Mexico were proof enough of that. In the 18 months since leaving Canada and the career behind and living frugally off of our pooled nest egg, we had received a total of $30 in income as a thank you for housing and feeding some visitors on the ranch we were living on, but that was it. There was no knowledge of where our next livelihood was coming from. What was all around us was a brimming awareness of what we did have to give… the dawning awareness that we had a very large truckload of perishable goods was weighing heavily on us. That’s why we had left the other goodies behind in the first place.

We busied ourselves with that instead of drowning in our anxiety about money. We didn’t deny our anxiety about money. We answered it by choosing our most grounded action towards financial security. Love and money began again to flow, but from a higher place inside and outside.

The greatest steps you can take towards your own superabundance is to sow and cultivate what you have to give. If no one’s buying, then give it away. The garden can’t NOT produce.  Sweep the streets if you have to.

Hanging onto scarcity is keeping-on, keeping-on in that dead end job and participating in the 3D economy that is all based in a lie of scarcity. Money may not grow on trees, but apples sure do, and you can’t eat money! Instead, use the job as a loving transition into a paced experience and acclimation into this super abundant universe that you are as you take stock and discover what you really have to give.

Money at root is nothing but love and trust, and that can grow in you tall and strong and you arrive eventually at a place of never again worrying about money. I speak this passionately, because that is how I feel it. I’ve gots lots to grow into this reality myself, but i’m done with an old world order that is fading away by the day.

Help me out here, would you? There’s truckloads of goodies that’s gonna go to waste unless we do something about it! We’ll store our food in the bellies of those around us, and we’ll never worry again about going hungry, or not having fun, for that matter!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.