The Pleasure and Pain of Sacred Union For The Feminine In Union/Separation/Being Single

By Jelelle Awen

Pleasure and pain…..sometimes the two energies mix together at once in a bitter sweet release of previously pent up frequencies. The bliss allows for the flow out and letting go of the mess. It is the water that makes it safe and self loving to release the oil. I felt this experience in love making with Raphael this morning, which part of me feels a little bit shy to share about yet it is also what is real and in my heart space this morning. I still feel mentally altered from it as well, so we will see if words can flow out from this space.

The pleasure was easy, waves of yummy goodness in my body in response to the loving attention and focus from my beloved, my masculine, and so many years of laying out the familiar pathways of known pleasure with each other. All these years and there is the opposite of flatness and numbness in our sexuality ground. Rather we both have the sense that we are being invited in this next phase into an even deeper ground of sacred union/hieros gamos/vesica pisces exploration.

We are being beckoned back into the bridal chamber to merge ALL of our chakras connecting as our bodies create a bridge in the physical while retaining our individual pillars of light expression. We look forward to exploring this bridal chamber ground even more together during our vacation to the Ocean next week.

The pain came mixed in with the orgasms, a shouting of it from my throat without self consciousness and a flood of tears afterwards. It didn’t feel personal to me. I felt the cry of the feminine move powerfully through me……her womb roar for the masculine to meet and match her, her heart cry over feeling so much yearning for him and him being unable to respond and claim her, her laboring cry wanting to birth the potent possibilities of their reunion that lives inside of her.

My womb has been full with service lately, showing up for more intros and 1:1 sessions with women than I have in a while. And, the main energies that want to be seen and the parts that want to be felt are around this aching and yearning feminine for her masculine counterpart and the experience of this push-pull journey. It has been so poignant and humbling and an honor to witness this in the feminine heart/soul/womb lately in sessions and in our sacred union activation group call for women this past Sunday as well. You can purchase the recording at

I feel so blessed to have signed up with my counterpart Raphael to actually ‘get to be together’ this life and to feel such a full claiming from him of our exploration, not just initially yet in every moment that we share between us…even in the necessary separations we have taken. I feel a responsibility from getting to experience this ongoing union with him when so many others are in various stages of separation from their counterpart. ALL of these stages are sacred and part of our growth, yet it is still a painful thing to feel the tender pain and longing of the feminine around this.

As my yoni provided the channel to release these pleasure pain energies, I felt my throat chakra intone a feminine roar and then a flood of light language. It felt like for all of the feminine collective. Raphael answered me in the same language of our souls and we flowed out tones beyond the mind….. activating, recoding our union and others in our field with the possibilities and opportunity for reunion.

I can feel how much is moving through both my womb space and Raphael’s hara (he wrote a call to men’s greatness through exploration of their heart today) as a transmission for those souls ready to receive it. We have a sacred space set up for it this Sunday, July 24th at 5:00pm GMT/noon EDT if you feel called to join us live or take in the recording by donation.

We truly feel, live, and love in sacred union. Even my service with women is not me on my own holding space, yet lands in and is held by Raphael’s masculine heart as well. I can feel the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine guides that want to come through in the call as well, especially Yeshua and his beloved Mary Magdalene (whose feast celebration day is tomorrow.)

Now is a time to receive these sacred union codes during this powerful Sirian gateway portal time. This union is ultimately beyond the masculine/feminine yet connects to our deep desire and need for union with the Divine in order to heal our experience of separation.

Hope you can join us for the bliss mess of it ALL that sacred union offers!


Jelelle Awen

If you’d like to join us for the sacred union activation group call, you can offer a donation of any amount (usual is $15 CAD/$11 USD) to or purchase at our shop at Please include your email and what you are purchasing.

And, if you feel guided to have a free intro with me or Kasha (for women), or to have a tender masculine activation space holder experience for men or women with Raphael or Gabriel, there is more info about our 1:1 sessions for 90 minutes over zoom for $77 USD at

Personal Anniversary & Invite To Our Sacred Union Activation Group Call

By Jelelle and Raphael Awen

Fourteen years ago, I received an email from a man asking me to explore a relationship and he used the sweet words of ‘like two mice nibbling on cheese’ to describe how we might approach it. As soon as I read his words and felt his energy, I felt my entire body flush with a warm, loving energy and an inner knowing.

I already knew that this man’s heart and soul were SO big, generous, and powerfully good, that his intentions toward me were pure, and that his dedication to his own healing/awakening process through parts work esp matched my own. Before that time, parts of me couldn’t handle the mirror that he offered me of my bigness, desirability and capacity for union….. and there just wasn’t enough self worth to claim our connection.

Finally, after three years of knowing each other as part of the same emotional/spiritual healing group and both doing deep inner work individually plus exploring relationships with others, I felt a ‘yes’ to letting him in. I felt a ‘yes’ to seeing where the reflection of ME and the Divine that he offered would take me.

THAT exploration and THAT man have brought me more joy, goodness, reflection, growth, bliss, and stepping into my own bigness than I ever could have imagined! Our union expands and deepens each day, with new grounds of co-leadership and collaboration continuing to open out and offer surprisingly meaningful gifts to ourselves and others!

Thank you to my BEloved, Raphael Awen, for every moment since then and all the future ones to come! I’m so glad I said ‘yes’ and I’m so grateful that you pursued what you wanted with me and that you held the recognition of our pair bond within you!

Below are Raphael’s words about our journey beginning together as a couple fourteen years ago and a wonderful reminder of claiming what your heart/soul most wants!


Today is Jelelle and I’s ‘nibble on cheese’ anniversary. I sent Jelelle an email that said ‘Would you like to connect soon? We could be like two mice nibbling on cheese.’ I knew it sounded a bit cheesy, but I was determined to be unedited and to be okay with whatever the outcome. In the three years prior, I’d brought her an attraction two other times, and though I accepted and respected the ‘no’ that came back, that didn’t stop me from trying again when another attraction arose. This time, I got a different response.

Today, I live in an ongoing honeymoon phase; a ‘pinch me’ reality. Is this really true? How can this be? What button did I push to make this happen? (part of me is still asking)

This woman who lived ten hours and a country away from was in my orbit to see occasionally over a three year period, but now, for the last fourteen years she’s hardly more than 25 feet away 24/7/365. We’ve left four countries behind, have plans for more and can’t wait to walk into the next moments together to feel and experience what wants to be felt and experienced through us.

I so believe that one of the deepest things we came here to earth for, and that we chose human being experience for, was to be willing to enter the place of strong desire; to surrender and be vulnerable to having intense wants.

Wanting a sacred romance is probably one of the biggest desires we can surrender to. I feel this to be true, because once you enter the sacred romance, it will call you to deeper and deeper desire and vulnerability and it won’t stop.

Your desire to admit what you want, to never deny it, even if you get told ‘no’, will be the stuff you’ll need to actually walk out the having of what you desire. Your willingness to long and pine for what you don’t have and find really hard to see anywhere in sight, will be what enables you to draw that.

You too, can have it all, for nothing more than the willingness to want it, and want it and want it some more!


We would love for you to join us for our upcoming sacred union activation group call on Sunday, July 24th at 5:00pm GMT/12:00noon EST. We will be sharing more about our journey into deep sacred union together, how we are navigating going into ever deepening grounds of body/heart/soul union together, and offering a bridge for you to feel your sacred union codes with your mate (whether known or not.) You can join us by offering a donation (usual is $15 CAD/$11 USD) at or (please include your email and note for which call you are purchasing.)

You can take in more of our energy as a couple as we shared on Todd Medina’s SoulSpeaks 5D show recently about navigating sacred union, transparency and parts work connection:

Kasha Rokshana and I are also offering a sacred union activation for women group call on Sunday, July 17th at 5:00pm GMT/12:00pm EST. You can offer a donation for that one at the same links above and there is more info on both at

Love to you and the sacred union capacity within you that reflects the merging of Divine Masculine/Feminine,

Raphael and Jelelle Awen

More info about free intros/1:1 sessions, group call events, writings/books, and online private community at

Energy Update: Beltane/Eclipse Opening Karmic Metasoul Timeline Portals In Sacred Union

By Jelelle and Raphael Awen

Energy Update: My goodness, wow, there is a lot to feel and coming up in response to/activated by all these celestial ‘events’ and energies!

For the last two days, I’ve been in a deep karmic ‘tunnel’, feeling, seeing, and experiencing energies from another lifetime heavily overlaid on my own and just BEing with them and the soul aspect who feels them. Allowing lots of tears, physical tiredness and need for rest has been so important, plus lots of processing/sharing time with my mate Raphael too.

This Metasoul aspect of mine (as we call them rather than ‘past life’) is named Lorna, a powerful Avalonian High Priestess who walked away from her position for many reasons in her lifetime, yet mostly to follow the call of her heart in mateship with Raphael’s metasoul aspect ( a Christian king named Lionel). Of course, this union was ‘forbidden’ and they hid in the shadows with their affair….longing for each other yet not able to ‘be together.’ This is a reoccurring theme for Raphael and I over many, many lifetimes and what we came here to heal together this life. The priestess and the king, being in different ‘worlds’ yet our twin/pairbond calling us to connect and heal the separation wound there.

Being able to be together and be in our power/gift expression together is the opportunity we’ve chosen in this life. It is A LOT to let in and even nearly 14 years later, we are still in this process together of inhabiting this.

As is the case in truly non-compartmentalized sacred union in which we are in constant physical/emotional/mental connection together yet also individuating, this invitation to have and be in what we haven’t gotten to be in before brings up all kinds of things to feel such as grief, distrust, insecurity, fear of loss, desire to control/grasp, unworthiness and much more.

During this powerful Beltane/Union passage and supported by the Black Moon eclipse energies (along with the recent planetary alignment and ongoing solar flares), Raphael and I went into this lifetime together (which isn’t in the ‘past’ at all yet occurring in the Quantum Now), dropping into the energies of Lionel and Lorna and facilitated a feeling/bridging to them. They ‘get’ to be together in their lifetime too finally and get to lead together, seeing where that takes them. Their union fortifies and supports the union between Raphael and I too, opening up a gift exchange. Left unfelt, their resistances and fear creates blocks to intimacy and deepening for Raphael and I.

I feel to share this tender process as it is the best example I can offer of the kinds of energies you may be experiencing and emotions too, yet may not always know or feel a ‘way’ to be with them. There is a massive lifting of the veils happening where the previous amnesia we have had about other lifetimes and soul themes is dissolving. Whether you are in sacred union right now or single, your soul is inviting you to heal the separation wounds within you and in your experience in order to move into more union on all levels.

I do love this SoulFullHeart process so very much for what it allows to be opened up and felt in a specific way that also has such depth and possibility to it. If you’d like to hear more about our process recently as a couple and more about SoulFullHeart as well and if it might be a deepening place for you in community and sessions, you can join Raphael and I in a livestream on FB on Beltane, Sunday, May 1st at 5:00pm GMT/12:00pm EDT/9am PDT. The recording will be available on our feeds to watch anytime along with here on this blog and on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel.

We also share more about our personal processes and respond to your movements/sharings too on our private online community called the SoulFullHeart Portal….creating a safe community space online to support each other, deepen, challenge, and grow together. You are welcome to join us there for a $22.22 USD monthly membership as an exchange with us:

The energies of the eclipse bring up and out these timelines/lifetimes and it’s HOW we are with them that can make a big difference in our experience and what we can leverage from them. I so love truly being able to dialogue with, feel, and grow with these soul aspects and parts of myself, over years sometimes, and in an ever deepening way. Not just in a one time regression session, yet in a truly relational way that is ongoing.

Healing the separations that create and feed our fear…moving into more union within and together…THIS is why we are here in this life where so much more is possible than ever before!

And Raphael’s comment on this post:

“This must sound like a complete dream to so many, a real dream, but a dream nonetheless, to have this kind of feeling access to other timelines.

It might feel quite ‘attained’, but my personal experience is more about the guts it takes to be willing to feel and digest all there is to feel in these karmic bonds and binds, and how they are expressing in the current of our current. It did take deep process and choice, but for a soul who’s ready to go here, my truth is that you will be surprised how immediate the openings are and how you will be graced and paced by love and the divine to hold it all.

Feeling this pair bond yesterday took me into some deep tunnels of despair feeling Lionel, which resonates so deeply with the despair inside so many men right now. It’s all connected and it’s all asking to be answered.

If you’re feeling that you need to stay on top of things if you’re going to be a resource to others, I’d invite you to think again. We are in this ride together and there are things to feel that feel like hell, and it is through those hells that you get relieved of the pretense of being something you are not and it is through those hells that you get truly empowered to be of useful and profound service for what is at hand now.

There’s lots more shit to come and unless we drop our roles, we’re going to just plain suffer deeper and deeper. If we are ready to go deeper, there is, I’m convinced (much of the time) that there is so much goodness awaiting us. That is not only my hope, but my daily ongoing experience.

I am so glad to be in the resolution of these timelines with you, Jelelle, and all of our discovered Metasouls. I believe that is what all of us are doing one way or another in the long run, it’s just about how much someone is ready to feel now and at what pace that makes the difference in our joy/suffering.

I know there is a TON of divine support to all of us who are willing to feel and heal on this level.”

Much love to you during this illuminating passage!

Jelelle Awen

More info about sessions, online community, events, books/writings at

Sacred Union & Sexuality Guided Meditation: Video 29 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

In this twenty-ninth video of our 31-day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teachers/Co-Creators Raphael and Jelelle Awen share about sacred union relationship with a mate and also the transaction of sacred sexuality.

We share about the importance of transactability in sacred union which relates to vulnerability, intimacy, and individual parts work/soul aspect access that allows more openness in the relational ground between partners. We also share about how sacred sexuality is a portal to your light body activation, your pairbond/twin flame frequency (if you share that), and life force/passion/desirability.

During the guided meditation, you connect to your current mate if you have one in the ball room in your Castle. Those who are single are invited to call in their future sacred union mate into the space. You connect with your mate to see what messages, choice points, places of discovery are revealed to you. You then are invited as a couple to go into a private bridal/groom/union chamber to explore sacred sexuality in whatever ways that feels right.

Here is a link to the sacred union and sexuality video from the Deepen 2019 series:

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here:

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series:

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: or at

Pair Bonds/Twin Flames/Counterpart Reunions As A Bridge To The Beloved

By Jelelle Awen

Love is IN the air leading up to Valentine’s Day! Reunions of pair bonds/counterparts are happening at increasingly accelerated rates as the previous veils are lifted and you can see/feel and CLAIM each other again. What once felt like very real and valid reasons to not be together; to be together yet not fully and completely; to not ‘find’ or draw each other in the physical; to have push/pull patterns with each other….these barriers are now being dissolved by the Divine’s all consuming desire to experience reunion again.

The separations ARE as sacred as the reunions. The separations offer a full landing in self. What is learned and accessed within during this alone time is so precious and important to the transactability of the bond on heart/body/soul/mind levels once you do come together. The deepening of the sacred union within you; the cultivation of connection between your inner masculine and inner feminine; this union within as a temporary experience of an internal ‘opposite’ provides a template for your beloved when they return to you.

If you are currently single, you can trust that the process you are undergoing to heal yourself on all levels, be with the Beloved within, and connect to the Divine AS your Beloved is the most important ground you can navigate in readiness for sacred union with your counterpart. Surrendering the timing of that reunion to the Divine allows for an experience of joy, goodness, and even bliss in that singleness rather than suffering, angst, and pain.

This is the ongoing journey of sacred union…..being invited to LET GO of fear, distrust, wounding, and separation-based relationship templates from 3D. To feel and heal the deep pain of separation within you that we ALL have……the shock that reverberates within our very DNA and at a collective level from that original separation moment from your pair bond, your ‘twin’ and counterpart. The reeling feeling of being ‘cast out’ away from your Beloved at the soul family monad level before you individuate into your Metasoul and the veil of amnesia comes down so that you can truly be an individuated consciousness.

The masculine torn away from his beloved feminine and she from him….seemingly severed in an abrupt way that was so unnatural in the moment…..shocking……and yet completely necessary to the ongoing unfolding of the Divine duality experiment. And then, always seeming to be reaching again for each other with an active ache to BE in that union again….Reeling and reaching in repeated patterns, over and over, lifetime after lifetime….until the ONE lifetime where you choose to truly be together in full conscious commitment and finally complete the cycle of reeling and reaching.

THIS lifetime is the one that many pair bonds are choosing to come back together in the physical again. The ultimate reason is always for the service of love and to/with the Divine. It is not for ego reasons at the 3D level or even for the gratification of the individuals, although it is very nourishing to both. It is during this time of Humanity’s Ascension, during this Dark Night moving into the Light of Day, during this time of Matrix collapse to finally be free again…..this is the NOW for which pair bonds are most needed to be again in union.

If you have chosen for this reunion experience as deeply connected to your service of love here and the primary WAY for which you will serve the Divine, you have probably felt the call to sacred union reunion for most of your life and felt your counterpart ‘with’ you in a deep way, even if you have not met yet in this life. You may experience this as a deep sense of missing something and that you are not quite ‘complete’ even as you may experience great fulfillment and self love/worth in being by yourself.

Please join us for a special group call event in one week on Valentine’s Day to explore these sacred union grounds, counterpart reunion, and provide a Bridge to The Beloved. Raphael/Taliesin and I will offer teachings and sharings about our recent necessary separation from each other and what we are discovering about our own counterpart bond in coming back together. Gabriel and Kasha will also share from their newly reunited union, which Gabriel shares about today on his FB feed.During the call, we will provide a sacred union transmission to you with support from Yeshua and Mary Magdalene’s Divine union template.

We will guide you in a meditation to bridge to the Beloved (in whatever ways you are currently meant to experience that whether to support the inner sacred union, the reunion with your counterpart, or deepening with the Divine AS Beloved). There will then be space for personal sharings for whomever would like to.The two hour group call is by whatever donation you feel to give (average is $15 CAD) via or and we will email you the zoom link. The call is at 5:00pm/17:00pm GMT/12:00pm EST/9:00am PST. If you can’t attend live, you will also receive the recording. More info at and

Love from Avalon…..where the Divine Masculine Michael and Divine Feminine Mary ley lines entwine in ever abundant union,
Jelelle Awen

More information about 1:1 sessions, group call events, online community, books/writings at

Navigating Relationships From The Inside Out – Day 17: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

 In today’s video, Day 17 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk a bit about why parts of us form initially as we feel the emotional and energectic dissonance of 3D reality, plus not being felt by our caregivers. It is the lack of digestion of what we were feeling in the moment that creates a more structured energy to form, plus masks, personas, walls.

The main thing I talk about today is relationships and how your inner relationship between your parts determines what you experience in outer relationships with others. As the soul wakes up and comes into the body, your relationships may shift as you do. This is a situation where you are awakening and those around you are not in the same way. I write more about that situation here:
The partner who is not awakening and maybe ‘doesn’t want to change’ represents a part of you that doesn’t want to change either.

As you heal the polarization inside from one part of you to another, this changes the projection you put on others and the conflictual dynamics that you are drawn to. More compassion is happening from within which heals the polarized frequencies and you no longer need to draw it as a mirror in others.

The other dynamic I talk about is when two sacred union mates come together and have the capacity to be in union, yet don’t have the transactability from an emotionally mature place. The union is limited by the capacity of each partner to show up for it in terms of self love overflow from each of them providing the ground for it

Go here to read more about the Protector and other parts of you that we connect with in our process:

Thank you for joining me on this seventeenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together… beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page:



Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at

I See You, My King

by Kalayna Colibri


I see the way your words dance off the page you’ve composed,
In lockstep with the processes of your mind
And your lion’s heart.

I see the King you are becoming and ascending to,
As your crown shows the ages, challenges
And dimensions
You’ve faced and walked through,
To feel all you need and desire
That helps you find your worth,
Your human man
And your powerful Emperor
Of galaxies I’ve yet to remember.

I feel the space you hold with me
As you stare into my eyes’ constellations
And penetrate my heart with yours.

I feel your energy press into my space
Of heart and mind, body and soul
And though you aren’t here,
And I may not have met you yet,
I see and feel all of this
As if I have already known you for a lifetime.

I feel the ways you see me too.

I feel you taking in my words,
My poetry,
My writings of healing,
Letting them move through your being
And move us both to our next places.

I feel you seeing me
As more than a body.
As something somehow beyond a woman
And yet fully a woman in every sense.

I feel you taking me in…

Letting me in…

Staring at me from across the crowded space,
Filling and feeling me with your gaze,
Caressing my back with your blazing hot touch,
Kissing me with a breathtaking steamy-soft wanting,
And pulling me into you as if parting would be
The last, most unthinkable desire for either of us.

When I meet you,
We will have already met…
Like this.
Already having felt the energy of what passes between us
With no effort or strategy,
Just personal love, self-love, growing cosmic and Divine love
And holding the sacredness of each of our selves,
Souls and hearts.

The reverence will be unmatched,
The love will be transmuting,
The hotness between us will be indescribable,
And the crucible of changes, growth and healing,
That stand for our deepening bond,
Will undoubtedly bring us both
To the next place of newly arising love
For ourselves,
And quite possibly,
Over and over again,
For each other…


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at