Lion’s Gate Invitation To Emerge Into Infinite Possibilities & Infinite Love

by Kasha Rokshana

To move out of tight-feeling places, smallness, feelings of being stuck and stagnant, takes oomph and even a ROAR at times. I feel this Lion’s Gate is inspiring this movement in myself and others, this desire to launch off a springboard and leap into the air of infinite possibilities and infinite love.

Something becomes so normalized in our Matrix connection around feeling small and the layers of this take so long sometimes, so many years, so much processing, so much deep feeling to move through. We’re conditioned to believe that ‘this is as good as it gets’ and then parts of us can become very afraid to imagine anything more is possible. Scarcity is God. Abundance is something you can only wait and work for and it may not even come to you. Unworthiness is the foundation upon which your ‘house of life’ has been built.

I’ve been feeling my Queen aspect quite a lot lately and feeling a new sense of my inner masculine King as well. They’re showing me their stuck and fearful places and where they haven’t connected deeply together, along with what they both desire to become. They are heading toward a reconciliation within themselves, with each other, and with me, plus also with the Divine which is a connection they both want to embody more. They want new levels of collaboration together without pushing or prodding, just mutual evolution and dance with their own wishes and desires. My Queen dreams and my King makes it happen. And well, maybe sometimes it’s meant to go the other way too where my King is the dreamer/visionary and my Queen can help birth it into being. I feel how they want to have a new level of maturity around this together and truly stay in the room now without suppression or fear… and I humbly feel how that’s in process for them both and not yet mastered.

This Lion’s Gate seems to really be supporting us all to move out of the Matrix at a new level, yet with honouring of the sacredness of the smallness-settling/settling for suffering too. Feeling our inner dynamics between parts/aspects is a way to do this that really brings it all inward, takes responsibility for what’s been created in the outer world, and begins to turn the ship around. There’s nothing to leap over or to make wrong in the process of feeling it all and feeling why parts of us have been ok with that being their only possible reality. Yet, maybe now it’s time to feel into the steps that can be taken to move out of it more.

Your own patterns, if you’re anything like me, may have to do with money earning and a huge mountain to climb around stability being accessible yet also using your own creativity to keep that moving along even if you do need to lean into being an ‘employee’ of some kind for a while. They may also have to do with wanting to feel more centred in the infinite possibilities of life and of love, to feel like no matter what, you’re drawing to you what you need to experience to keep you moving beyond even the most subtle suffering loops about anything… relationships, work, soul purpose expression, geography, etc.

I feel humbly like I’m learning about this all over again in a way, and I welcome that because to me it’s always interesting where these layers take me and what I learn about myself through feeling them. Without suppressing my shadow and my own parts’/Metasoul aspects’ resistances to Divine surrender and timing, I get to feel what else I and they want, desire, need. I’m afforded the opportunity to dream anew, even when there’s mourning that’s needed too…

There’s so much for us all to launch into now, to see about our soul patterns and this-lifetime patterns too. The wounded visionary is just as real as the elevated one. The wounded healer is just as real as the centred one. Your parts are just as real as your integrated wholeness. There’s so much we’re invited to just drop-in and feel, to fall in love with even in the tightest moments and the most tearful waves of grief. I feel so much desire to move beyond any settling for suffering… and I truly hope, that on whatever level you need to right now, you feel that for yourself too.

Love,
Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Inner Sacred Union Guided Meditation: Video 28 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

In this twenty-eighth video of our 31-day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teachers/Co-Creators Raphael and Jelelle Awen share about your sacred union within and the importance of feeling the dynamics between your inner masculine and inner feminine.

We share about the possible configurations of our inner masculine and feminine, such as Inner Protector and Inner Teenager, and how healing these can open up intimacy in all relationships, complete suffering loops in relationships, and much more. Rather than projecting out to others, you can experience empowerment through this inner exploration and resolution.

During the guided meditation, you connect to your inner masculine and inner feminine, however they show up in these moment. You invite them to attend a dance ball held within your castle, inviting them into an experience of union in that moment.

Here is a link to the sacred union within video from the Deepen 2019 series: https://youtu.be/nPVo1iZTYng

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

Bridge To The Beloved: Guided Meditation From The Bridal Chamber | Raphael & Jelelle Awen (Video)

Divine Union guides, Counterpart/Twin Flame Mates and SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen invite you on an initiatory journey into your sacred humanity through a video series called Meditations From The Bridal Chamber. We are recently in a renewed marriage and reunion place after a brief separation and death/rebirth together. We are feeling to share from the high frequency energies of our ‘bridal chamber’, where we are experiencing deeper frequencies of reunion with each other, within, and with the Divine.

Divine Sacred Union guides Yeshua and Mary Magdalene join us in this video series, offering initiations and activations as we channel their energies through our sacred masculine and sacred feminine hearts. Yeshua and Magdalene provide a template from the fifth dimension of a twin counterpart pair bond for your inner masculine and inner feminine to receive as a source of support, activation, and guidance. They have been beloved guides to us personally, in our union, and in service for many years.

In this first video of the series, we share a brief introduction of the Bridal Chamber energies and about the fears/resistances/testing that parts of us can do as we move out of separation and into more union within, with a mate, and with the Divine. As we have done during many group calls over the years, we then move into a collaborative meditative space to guide you in bridging to your ‘Bridal Chamber’ within while offering transmissions from Yeshua and Mary. The bridal chamber is offered to both women and men as a higher dimensional space to experience the embodied frequency of their Divine Self as beloved to the Divine.

Whether you are currently in a relationship or mateship; exploring your inner sacred union in singleness; or want to deepen your connection with the Divine AS beloved; this series will activate for you what it is meant to in order to help you move out of fear, resistance, and lack realities and into abundance, love, joy, and bliss!

We would love to receive your donations and energy exchange in the form of money for this series as it supports us to keep offering them and creates an intentional energy for you in which to receive them. You can offer a donation through a general donation via our shop at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop​ or via paypal at https://www.paypal.me/jelelleawen​.

For the latest writings, videos, and information about SoulFullHeart community events and group calls, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org​.

Information about 1:1 sessions over Zoom or in-person in Glastonbury, UK with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Jelelle Awen or Kasha Rokshana for women and with Raphael Awen or Aurius Amara for men and women at https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Become a monthly donor member of our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks and gain access to exclusive content, share your experiences of the meditation with us, read longer writings w/personal digestions, experience a community connection with beautiful resonant souls, and MORE at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co

Imbolc Codes Offering A Bridge To Inner Realms & Womb Space

By Jelelle Awen

Blessings during this sacred passage of Imbolc!

We are honoring today the beginnings of Spring and also of being in the halfway, which can feel like a void space to many of us….like a pregnant pause before the next is revealed. We are between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox….with the Divine Feminine face and form known as Brigid holding the space to feel this with us.

The energies of Brigid to me when I connect to Her are always about bridging…..the higher realms to the inner ones; the shifting seasons to each other; the deaths to the rebirths; the passages of the past to the ones upcoming. She offers this in ever transmuting ways, yet her fire element is honored on this day as a powerful alchemical force of transformation as you surrender to it.

I also feel Brigid offering a bridge to our wombs and second/third chakras on this day as Imbolc means, “In the belly”. Connecting with our womb space for women offers so much…..a transmission of stillness, depth, power, creativity, and aliveness. We can connect here to future birthings and water the seeds of them.

I experienced these transforming and bridging energies last night during our AMAZING monthly women’s group call in which we journeyed into the tender realm of the inner masculine and inner feminine dance within us. Twenty women joined Kasha and I live for this experience, with others signing up to receive the recording later on. Kasha and I shared about our personal journeys into this exploration through the SoulFullHeart process and also offered teachings around how we have seen and experienced the inner masculine and inner feminine show up for this often very polarized relationship within (due in large part to the templating we received on the outside of relationships.)

We also went into a meditative journey to invite your inner masculine and inner feminine to attend a Ball with Yeshua and Mary Magdalene in which they were the honored guests….bridging a unity consciousness frequency to them to whatever degree they could experience that. There were then many beautiful and vulnerable sharings from four women on the call for us all to learn from and take in!

We also have a lively conversation going on as follow up in our private women’s group on our SoulFullHeart Portal if you’d like to join us there: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co

You can purchase the recording of the call for women by offering a donation at paypal.me/jelelleawen or via the shop at soulfullheart.org/shop and we will email it to you.

Our next group call will be on Sunday, February 14th, Valentine’s Day at 5:00pm GMT….a transmission of Sacred Union codes with me and my newly reconciled beloved Taliesin! More info on that coming soon….

Love and blessings on Imbolc from Avalon!
We are getting together as a community to honor this day, whatever wants to be shared of our inner processes, and to move into the New!

More information about 1:1 sessions, future group call events, writings/books at soulfullheart.org.

Letting Go Of Illusions To See And Feel What’s REAL Inside And Out

by Kasha Rokshana

Illusion must dissolve so reality can resolve.

These are the words that come to me as I feel my own ongoing process of healing, Ascension, and service, yet also as I feel the global process happening now for the same.

The illusions dissolving for parts of me are so multi-layered and multi-dimensional too. I feel facades melting down from how my feminine parts have related to the masculine and to romance and even to their own spirituality. For them and for me, this is a whole other level of growth, of fading childhood and moving into true womanhood from the inside out. I feel my masculine parts seeing and feeling how they’ve related to my feminine ones, either with some sort of suppression and punishment-type frequencies, or, even with caretaking/enabling instead of genuinely caring for and feeling them.

These inner dynamics are reflected in my outer reality, in my relationship with men AND women, and what moves between myself and those I’m closest to or even those I’m meeting for the first time. Sometimes the reflections are subtle and sometimes they are so big that it takes a while to really look at all of the machinations involved!

I feel all of my parts having deep and precious realizations of how they’ve related to life itself too, the different levels of emotional and spiritual immaturity that is moving away from being bubbled-off about actual reality now. I don’t feel any self-judgement as I name and own this ‘immaturity’, as it feels like we all have that and are working it, just at different levels and in unique phases of growth too.

Without a doubt, we’re ALL being faced with our own immaturity now. We’re experiencing outcomes and consequences that come directly from what we haven’t been ready or able to SEE let alone FEEL inside of ourselves, let alone in the systems and ways of life that we have allowed to continue and live through us. It’s quite a shift we’re experiencing into an underbelly of humanity’s shadow that has always been there, yet while enamoured and involved with the illusion overlaying this underbelly, we haven’t been able to truly see and bring love to what has been true all along.

There is a whole upgrade needed in human consciousness that is still being worked and isn’t actually a given, at least not en masse, yet it’s the reason why we’re here and why we’re being invited to soberly see what’s real. A big part of this is definitely the need to feel the value of deep inner work and allowing love to support us in that. This is a bit of a thing for the parts of us who have worked so hard to stay above board and somewhat bubbled-off from what the reality around us is constantly offering us all. They, especially the Inner Protector, have often had to do this in order to protect the preciousness, purity of essence, and innocence within that can be so greatly impacted by seeing and feeling the world in the state it’s in currently… and our roles within that.

This is what changes our inner worlds as much as our outer one, through the deepening of our inner intimacy and self-love and overflowing that to our relationships and encounters on the outside. This is what shifts and heals the inner Matrix so that any attachment to the one(s) on the outside can move into something new and our experience of it can change for the better as well. It’s not a process that can really be taken on with much lightness at times yet it IS held with so much love, always, and the support we need is right here with us to move us fully into the NEW.

The good news is that unless we were ready to start seeing reality for what it is and has been, we wouldn’t be in the place we are now. Where we are now, even in the thick of the pain of it all, is a necessary step to our evolution, our true Ascension, and our reunion with the Divine within and without. We’re living through a time of tidal waves that are bringing so much to the surface, as they are meant to do. It’s up to each of us how we choose to relate to the process of being with the Disclosure that has been unfolding and will continue to unfold well into the future, feels like.

We are all in this together, though at times we feel so very separate. For that separation too is a powerful illusion that is up to us to move through, back into the reality of love and unity, from deep within.

Illusion must dissolve so reality can resolve… by letting what’s real open up the heart to feel.

Love,

Kasha ❤

~

I am once again offering free 45min intro calls for women who are interested in the SoulFullHeart process/way of life/community and how it may serve you at this sacred time. I also offer paid 90min sessions for women who feel ready to dive deep into their inner worlds: soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Inner Sacred Union Dance That Draws The Outer

by Kasha Rokshana

Mate ache is real. The desire to be with someone romantically on the outside can’t really be subdued, especially when you have a strong sense that he or she is ‘out there’ – the Sacred Union mate you’ve longed for, worked for, and want so much to serve love alongside.

I have such an ache. I’ve been in a Sacred Union before, not all that long ago. I’ve tasted the sweet nectar of deepening soul and heart resonance. The ease and the sacred triggers too of being with a man who is doing his inner ‘work’ as you do yours. A man who is coming to love and treasure himself deeply, acknowledging and embracing every part of himself and every metasoul aspect too. A man who, because of his gentleness of heart, makes you cry out in tears of bliss and purging of emotional pain on a soul and this-life level too as you make love.

I ache because I’ve experienced what it can be and the healing that’s offered through the experience of it. I also have an ongoing template for what a long-lasting, consistently deepening Sacred Union looks and feels like from being in close community with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. It’s like exquisite torture in moments, witnessing their beautiful bond in all its ups and downs, ebbs and flows, processes inner and outer, and waiting for my own experience of this to come around again in a whole new way.

This depth of sacred romance isn’t an achievement. It’s not a mark of success or failure (as parts of me have felt before), or anything that can be accomplished with some kind of magic spell or silver bullet that suddenly brings in THE mate you’ve felt a longing for. It’s a crucible, actually. It’s something to bear while you bare all in the depths of this intimacy.

And this intimacy starts within.

Your inner masculine and feminine need to start relating with one another… they need to see each other. They need to find a way back into a union, a romance, between them. This inner Sacred Union is the seed for the flower of outer Sacred Union. It’s the honey that attracts the bee. And sometimes it takes a while for the bees buzzing in harmony with your growing frequency to tune into your fragrance.

Whenever I feel my longing for all of my inner work to bear this fruit, I’m reminded to look to my inner masculine and feminine. I’m reminded that any validation that’s wanted on the outside, needs to solidify inside. I’m reminded that my inner Sacred Union needs to ‘buzz’ and hum in its own frequency or romantic satisfaction. I’m reminded that this is what brings some soothing energies to the void of missing and wanting ‘him’ on the outside and keeps any parts of me from grabbing at a man and instead letting us come together and discover each other when it’s truly time for that to happen.

This is an ongoing process. There’s not really a final place of arrival where the Sacred Union inside is perfectly set up now. It’s got its own ebbs and flows, ups and downs, ins and outs. It has its own phases of tension and conflict. It’s just as sacred to behold as anything that manifests on the outside. And, it’s the love that you will always return to, even if romantic love on the outside collapses or completes.

~

Raphael and Jelelle are hosting a Zoom group transmission on Oct 10th for Sacred Union Within & With Other. Their transmission of Sacred Union inside and out is palpable and profound! They’ll teach and lead us all in a guided meditation as well. You can donate anything you like to be a part of this call live or receive the recording. More info here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions
and here: https://www.facebook.com/events/268214177559942

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Inner & Outer Feminine/Masculine Union Balance

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, how the inner feminine will want to go soft at times. To cry. To grieve. To REALLY feel what is going on that causes her heart to ache. She will BE with the longings and the missing without trying to fix or manage. Then, she can feel judged as oversensitive or too reactive by others and try to suppress her feelings….usually without success and not for very long. She may lash out in frustration, dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that her feelings have not been given enough space when they haven’t within her own heart.


And the inner masculine, then, doesn’t know what to DO with her or how to help. He feels locked in and also locked out, especially if she becomes protective of her feelings and won’t share. He just has an impulse to solve it, as if he could fix himself if he can fix her. He wants to be seen and appreciated by her always for his efforts, yet also fears disappointing her and being inadequate. He resists her tenderness and his own at times, afraid of being hurt again.


This distorted dance of inner feminine and masculine seems to be so common, so conditioned, and modeled for us in so many ways, starting from our own parents. I felt recently new layers of sorting through of the inner masculine and inner feminine dynamics within myself, triggered by being here on these powerful Michael Divine Mascline, and Mary Divine Feminine lines. I have also seen these masculine/feminine sortings out in those in my small community of beloveds, in my relationship with Raphael (although we are in a current blissy merging phase after some initial conflicts when we got here to Avalon) and in women I have met with for sessions recently.


There’s nothing wrong in the push and the pulls, yet it can be challenging when these energies within are not on the same ‘page’, the desires are diverging, and conflict arises. This is the same mixed experience as what so commonly occurs on the outside in relationships as well. I have so learned that experience of relationships with others can’t be shifted into new grounds until it is from within. New and deeper possibilities of intimacy arise initially from within and can then be transacted with others rather than just a focus on the outside dynamics, which is so common.


I always come back to the inner union to see what its status is when there are mixed feelings going on. As I hold space for my inner feminine (however she is needing to show up) and my inner masculine (who is quite soft at this point), they can find their connection with me, the Divine, and each other. They can move into their dance again, in flow, and ultimately….as is always the desire…into balance.


This reunion within then flows into my sacred union relationship with Raphael with new grounds of connection and exploration now possible. One day I am in tears and holding space for my feminine and bridging to my masculine so he can be felt too. And the next, I am in bliss lovemaking and connection energies with Raphael. From within and then out draws the experience of joy, bliss, and balance with a beloved mate that feels like a deep merging even while you remain two separate consciousnesses.

The ache for sacred union is consciously felt in many people…a ‘mate ache’, I have called it. Yet, the desire for inner union of your masculine and feminine may be less known and cultivated. That inner union ache is powerful to follow and does seem to ultimately draw your precious sacred union partner too.

Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your inner masculine and feminine: https://youtu.be/nvi_m4i1KvQ


love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. We will share these Avalon energies that invite the inner masculine/feminine flow. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls


More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional-Karma Trauma healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury and with other Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Beltane Sacred Union & Soul Alignment Activation

by Kalayna Solais

Beloved that you are,
When the smoke clears
on life’s regulating ways
and gives way to the undulating meadows
of new love’s first spring,
there I’ll be
standing in the light
of the sun shining above me,
firm in the ground I walk on
yet lightly walking toward your ready stance,
singing a song
we will both remember.
In Beltane’s past, my love
we dined and danced
and brought together our intertwining
everythings
to mingle in the love light
of the divine masculine and feminine dawnings.
In Beltane’s new arrivals, love
we’ll linger long
in embraces for only us to feel
in the eye of the mind’s connection
until the refreshing breath
of a crisp and ripe chapter
brings us closer
in all elements of this life’s wanderings.
In myself I stay here for you, love
finding more treasure long buried
to show you
in vulnerable ownership
echoing the also deep claim
you have inside of you for you.
The winds of change
and graspings of renewing tides
grip at our thrown-about clothing
to move us closer
to the edges
that keep US alive…
Together we will meet, my beloved
and there we will find
what we have been searching for…
a counterpart
not to bind, but to bond
not to cling, but to sing
not stifle with duty
but to bring out with bounding life’s alterations and celebrations…
of each new movement
here…
Bring your mountains out to greet the new day, love
and see the power of our sunshines mingling
on a new insatiable appetite
of a love reunited
in a way that was agreed to
long ago and yet NOW too.
Even NOW I make a vow to you,
to be all the more loyal to myself
and dedicate overflow to you
to what we will create together
in our messy masses of alchemical baths
and swooning passes.
Love, when we do meet again
here
I will dress the moon in your honor
and harness the sun’s rays for your Kingdom to come
and our world that is being reborn…
On this Beltane celebration day,
As I ache for you
I prepare that place in my heart
that is you-shaped
where you already live…
and that place in my body’s life
where your essence will connect
so much
oh, so much…
with mine.

~

Art by Oshuna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

IMG_3985

Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Completing Our Sacred Union Romance

By Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

From Gabriel ~ 

This is a hard post to write for many reasons. It signals the completion of something that has been a big part of my journey the past six years so there is mourning. It opens up to the vulnerability of what is real and moving for me in transparency. All of this is held with Love and Grace.

Recently I felt a need for Kalayna and I to take some physical space to feel into some deeper layers that have been some core issues between us for some time. We had been having a hard time connecting on a deeper level and could feel some much needed heart exploring and feeling to get to a root of something.

The fear was always that we could wind up finding out what has been eluding us that may not be reconcilable. Something baked in our dynamic that had a time stamp. We have been down this road a few times and eventually we needed to complete to go back into our own processes. Each time though we came back with new awareness and foundations.

However, this time we have had to admit through deep tears and some frustrations, that this romance needs to complete for its last time. The last chapter of a volume that comprises our larger story. It was not an easy choice to make considering we did just get married. I knew that there were things we had to go into but I wanted to do that while wed to her, because that is how I saw her. That is how I wanted to remember what we had. That she was my wife. My partner. My beloved mate in this wild ride of ascension.

The reasons run deep and wide. We have many differences between us that are hard to reconcile. In our solo processes and sessions with Jelelle and Raphael, we realized that what we have is meant in a different context. One that doesn’t have romantic ties but ties that run deep nevertheless. I have found that I need a space to access more of who I am to myself and in intimacy. I have work to do just as any other ascending human man. Kalayna came to a very similar conclusion for herself.

So many timelines and stories have needed to collapse and complete so that I can open up more to the Love that wants to occur from me to me, me to the Divine, and me to Other. This is an ebb and flow of clarity and tears. I hold this just as sacred as when I got married. This time I am marrying/integrating more of myself that had been put aside in the name of the Usness that just wasn’t meant to be in this way.

In all of this, the one thing that has always held firm and true is that my love for Kalayna is real. So much so that I need to let go so that she can arise and draw what her deepest heart needs. The same is true from her to me. This death and rebirth is a part of what we signed up for and it has been one of the biggest ones to date for me.

Thank you for taking this in to your heart and holding it with reverence. I will answer any questions you may have. I appreciate all the love and support you gave us during our time together and feel blessed to have been a recipient of it. I feel held in all of this by Divine Love. There is no one else I could have walked this out the way we have at this time then Kalayna. Thank you so much Kalayna for everything you were, are, and will continue to be.

From Kalayna ~

It’s been 6 years.

6 years of friendship, of off-and-on romance, of deep connections together on all levels: soul, heart, body, and mind.

And now something so sacred to us both is deeply completing.

We have navigated life together in so many different ways and phases… we’ve pressed forward into plans, launched ourselves into the unknown, met new parts of ourselves and each other, felt new Metasoul aspects of ourselves that are connected to one another and some that aren’t or don’t seem to be too. I’ve grown so much because of being with this amazing man… and the recent choice to become ‘married’ and to deepen in Sacred Union really gave me the gift of a longtime wish I had inside to marry HIM specifically. The fulfillment of a dream, truly. And I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have been my first true, deep, resonant love.

It’s been about a month now of process within myself while taking space from the relationship and altogether separating from Gabriel. I’ve been feeling what the tendrils were that parts of me had with him and so much of that is still unfolding.

It’s been very tender and raw to feel, but it’s time to complete our marriage, our coupleship, our 6 year cycle of going IN together in different ways, always wondering about being together romantically, ‘completing’ romantic phases without them feeling really complete. Now it feels like the romance actually IS complete. I’m realizing and letting in that the ground we’ve had together, though made and built upon with SO much deep resonance and goodness on ALL levels, is a ground that isn’t nourishing in the deeper ways we both would need for it to continue, the way I need it to be to continue…. I’m seeing how in our time spent apart recently, I’ve had more self-discoveries happen inside of myself than I did in much of our romance together, at a new depth that I had forgotten in some ways was possible and also needed personally.

You can imagine how profound and emotional this whole process of letting go of this relationship has been for my heart and soul. So many of you have taken in videos, writings, live streams with us co-leading and I’m still so grateful I got to do that with him. We even recently led a few in-person meditation circles here in Victoria and that was alive and nurturing too, a new taste of my own leadership and my leadership with a mate too (another lifelong dream of mine that still remains and likely always will). I’ve been really feeling it and really letting in the mega timeline shift this has been and how needed this is right now through the tears, the mourning, the frustrations and even the resentments towards him that surface sometimes in parts/Metasoul aspects of mine.

In this whole process I’ve felt wrecked, hopeful, despairing, and then newly alive as I feel some emerging possibilities for myself outside of our bond in service, in personal healing, in future possibilities for my life in all areas. I’ve felt parts of me that don’t want to leave this relationship or complete it, and then felt ME coming up in a new way to be with what’s real and to feel what really does need to complete here for my sake and his. It’s time to come home to ME in a new way…

There’s nothing in me that doesn’t want to be connected to Gabriel somehow… and we both know so well the ground of sacred friendship that we can and DO have together. In some ways, these transaction grounds on a friendship level are just easier for us with so many gaps between us in life and soul experience that just aren’t as bridgeable in a romance as parts of me were hoping they would be.

The promise of Sacred Union is that you will grow… not that you will stay together romantically forever, especially if the bond cannot be kept alive and lively, renewing and rebooting. This has been our experience in the last 6 years of knowing each other and being together in different ways for different phases, and it feels like this last phase of romantic exploration HAS been the deepest we could go in this lifetime while in Sacred Union together.

I knew when we got married recently, that this was a step I needed and wanted to take with him, no matter how long it would last. In a sense it actually feels like we’ve been married for as many as 10 years, let alone just a few months, especially with all of the new realizations coming through that could only really be coming through because of the ground and history I’ve experienced with him. My process is calling me to keep moving forward and onward, as sad as it still feels to be moving on without him by my side…

I so welcome any questions or comments you may have…

Much love to you all… thank you for being a Sacred part of our journey.

****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

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