My Healing ‘Me’ Phase: Sharing My Current Personal Process

by Kalayna Colibri

Service of love is a crucible for growth… the growth of those you serve and your own growth too.

How many times I’ve learned this and been humbled by this…

We cannot downplay the importance of going inward and soberly evaluating ourselves, feeling if we SHOULD be serving others right now or if there’s something that needs us deep within first.

As my beloved friend, teacher and Facilitator Raphael said to me yesterday, “It feels right to take the space from facilitating. Without that, it would feel like trying to get at a foundation with a house sitting on top of it, which would be a whole lot more involved process.” Bingo.

Because of this, I’ve made the choice to step down as a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for this emerging phase of my healing and deep need of ME. My heart and soul feel a strong desire to serve love, yet the first step to that is becoming MORE love through being with myself and my parts. Without doing this, my space holding isn’t as deep as I desire it to be and not as helpful to the facilitant – the person making the vulnerable and courageous choice to lean into me for that 90min and maybe beyond – either. not to mention that the space held isn’t as safe as it needs to be for the healing to flow from my own love overflow into them to support their own.

I feel too how this process is not just about me as an individual. I feel how this is something that many space holders neglect to look at in themselves and as a result their parts can feel “burnt out” or resentful of their clients instead of in collaboration and heart-openness, which can lead to outright abuse or perhaps something more subtle. I feel how there is something for all of us to feel, whether you call yourself a “lightworker”, “space holder”, “wayshower”, “energy healer”, etc about how much you genuinely care about the person you’re offering healing to, how much respect and love you authentically feel for them, and if there are unowned judgments, triggers, pieces coming up inside of you that need you to show up to feel them in your own space, maybe even taking a break from offering healing to others for a phase, in the name of your own healing and self love growth. The biggest block to being able to vulnerably feel all of this inside of yourself feels to be the block of an overfocus on self-image, forgetting and maybe even hiding that you are also a humbly healing and ascending human being.

My beloveds in this community and healing path of SoulFullHeart have brought me many reflections over this past week that have given me plenty of pause and entry points into my heart too… to see why exactly I’ve been the way I’ve been when what I want is to be and serve love. This was a major sign of something big being out of alignment… we cannot put on the “healer hat” and be one way in sessions while we let parts of us run the show in other areas of our life and relationships with far less care, without one reality spilling over into the other sooner or later. And since the shadow is always wanting to be seen, felt and held, of course this is where the spillover is most likely to happen…

As my process unfolds, I’ll probably share more of the clarities I feel, because in this way I still feel called to serve love and see how what I’m discovering lands in the hearts and souls of others. I hope that even this writing which is more personal lands somewhere helpful inside of you. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Be A Steward Of Love

33

You have chosen to be a steward of great importance. What it is you are here to usher into consciousness is yours to bequeath and ours to behold. This stewardship starts off personal and evolves into the galactic. It can’t help but to do so if you follow its natural and arising course. This stewardship is one that is self-proclaiming and love-directed. You are the captain of your ship first and foremost. The passengers, the aspects and parts of you that you have picked up along the way, need your leadership and humbled sense of urgency to guide them into the new territory of your arising sacred humanity.  Outside of yourself, which is still arguably you too, are those that are meant to seek and follow your light and example. They are also your charges when the love from within is overflowing the bows of your inner decks.

This stewardship is a responsibility and an adventure both. A serious yet joy-filled exploration that seeks to find and integrate the long lost parts of your self spread throughout your emotional universe and star-filled multiverse. It is the single greatest purpose you have to offer the world. While Rome is burning in one timeline, you can be ushering in a new world that is centered in the Love that you have packed away in the hulls of your heart and soul. It is just awaiting your claim and sometimes difficult choices.

These choices are not meant to leave you in suffering. They are meant to pave the way into a greater expanse of ocean and air, both inside and out. If you don’t quite feel that expansiveness, or it waxes and wanes, you have your assignment right there in front of you. Take care of You. Feel those inner parts of your titanic heart. Connect with them and bring them aboard your UPward coarse. As each one begins to trust the Divine Heart within you, they can begin to shed the layers of the shroud that had them as good as dead. Transform that shroud to a cocoon and let the process of healing take root. From that alchemy shines a light of pure essence that lies within each one of them. They become the spark of light that fuels your ever lightening load that sends you farther into the mystic.

Use that glistening beacon to light the way for others to see and feel. Keep up the going IN so that it can go UP and OUT. The beginning is always the hardest. The most turbulent for there is a LOT to heal from in our 3D density. It is not a torture chamber but a birthing center. The pain gives way to infinite joy that provides the container to hold even more. So this stewardship is akin to birthing yourself and love into the world, where you are the mother and the child. The midwives are those that have been through the process and can hold space for this sacred delivery.

These are epic and glorious times you and I find ourselves in. We are not here by mistake and clearly by purpose. The events that are unfolding are calling us to go within and bring in the love that is so needed to turn this larger ship of our humanity around and back toward Divine Unity. Lean into the process, the turbulence, the birthing, and the service. It is all a part of what we chose to be a part of and couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

******

If you are feeling resonant with the steward-ship of SoulFullHeart and are curious how it may serve you in your birthing and expansion, check out our website and request a free 30 minute intro session to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.