Raphael Awen

You Are Invited! Men’s Group Calls Each Month

Published on March 25, 2021April 1, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Quick video invitation to join myself, Aurius Amara and James Elphick this Saturday, March 27 at 5pm GMT (London time) for our Men’s group call on the topic of ‘Adequacy, Power and Vulnerability’.

We ask for a donation of any amount to set your intention and exchange with us. Read on/listen in to get the tone and see where to sign up. We very much welcome your curiosity and hope you join us.

How do you as a man relate to your sense of power in the world?

How does that make you feel either adequate or inadequate?

Where would vulnerability factor into the expression of your power and sense of adequacy?

As men, we can be quick to embrace anything that affords us a sense of adequacy and power, and slow to let go of anything that feels like it will lessen that comfort zone. Even what we reach towards in spiritual or community settings can be so tailored to this need to buffer this feeling of ‘getting ahead’ in this way.

But where do we find the pause button long enough to explore the more vulnerable questions about whether a choice or endeavour or relationship is really what we most deeply want? How do we know if we are choosing our growth vs. our comfort zone?

‘What is it that you really want?’ is maybe the most profound question that you as a man need to ask yourself, as well as the most sorting question that can be asked when it comes to relationships. Your wanter is already leading and guiding the way, what’s left is become familiar with your wanter – the part of you currently leading your wants and wishes.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a way to get to know and feel the parts of you that are oriented to life in this way without judging them in any way. Here begins an exit off the treadmill of ‘shoulds’ where even the prescription to be more real or more vulnerable can be related to as a higher form of attaining adequacy or power.

These are the questions we will explore together, offer teaching, and transparent personal reflections about our journey in this men’s group call on Saturday, March 27th hosted by SoulFullHeart Teachers/Facilitators and Sacred Masculine bridges Raphael Awen and Aurius Amara. We will also be joined by James Elphick, who is an active member of the Soulfullheart community. The three of us currently live in close proximity and shared purpose in Glastonbury, England, also known as Avalon, the heart chakra of Gaia.

During the call, we will also enter a time of guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector, the part of you that has the most domain when it comes to your adequacy, power and vulnerability. Just meeting this part of you, getting a feeling sense of them for the first time or the hundredth time is what opens out the deep heart and soul places that you have been wanting to venture into. In other words, the key to your dreams is not more will power, or more adequacy, but instead you showing up to get to know these parts of you who feel so much about your life, your dreams, your regrets, etc. As this happens more and more, your life gets to enter new configurations in all areas of your life, because it’s shifting on the inside.

The call will be at 5pm/17:00 GMT (London, UK timezone/12 Noon EST/9:00am PST) and hosted over Zoom. The call will be 2 hours in duration.

You can join us live (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the group live, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us.

This group is open to the public and to all men over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy exchange of whatever donation you feel to give. You can purchase the Zoom link to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email at soulfullheart.org/shop

Or you can make a donation for it here through Paypal: paypal.me/raphaelawen

We will send you the zoom link via email.

Please make a note in the Paypal transaction that you are purchasing the March 27th Men’s Group Call and check that your email on Paypal is current, as this is the email we will send the zoom link to unless you request it sent to another email.

The call will last a max of two hours depending on those that want to share their experiences and ask questions.

Here is a timezone converter (call is at 5:00pm GMT London, London time): https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

For more info or to share with a friend:

– Here is the Facebook Event Listing: https://www.facebook.com/events/427115595032366

– https://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

Very warmly,

Raphael Awen, Aurius Amara and James Elphick

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

What Does Masculine Power, Adequacy And Vulnerabilty Look Like?

Published on March 25, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I venture to say that as a man, regardless of your age, or circumstance in life, that underlying everything you are dealing with in life are the issues of adequacy, power and vulnerability.

These are the core issues that issue from the core of a man, that make up the masculine journey.

And these core issues don’t go away as you grow or become self aware, only your relationship to them changes, and that then is what changes everything, while you continue your journey.

Without these issues, that issue from the core of the heart, there would be no masculine journey, no reason for being here.

Surrendering to that is what makes you a man. Aligning with others who are becoming conscious of the same journey is what affords you a sense of your true value and worth as a man.

Vulnerability is admitting that short of that, you at best have a half life, and remain in a pact with your suffering.

Those kinds of admissions and surrender is what makes you a powerful being, ever arising into more.

All of your problems and issues get to now be portals into the deeper essence of your being.

Your issues have everything to do with your essence.

If what I am speaking is landing in you as true or powerful, then I offer to you that what you are feeling is your truth, your seat of being, resonating with mine. You are feeling and hearing from the seat of your own authority and sovereignty within, rather than accepting being dominated by any control or permission outside of you.

The question of the quest becomes how will you respond. What will you choose? The choices are before you.

There’s the choice to get real, the choice to get vulnerable, the choice partake of huge support all around you.

The masculine journey is ultimately a sacred one, whether you choose it or don’t, because in the long, long run, it all comes together back to love and essence. The difference is not sacred or secular, holy or unholy, conscious or unconscious, awakened or unawakened; the choice is about getting real or not.

Being real has everything to do with adequacy, power and vulnerability. And getting real will surely lead to the need to get more real – a herein lies the courage required to embrace the journey, and the gratitude of the divine for your choice, to feel and heal what the divine could not inside of itself, without you, and your ‘issues’.

I wrote all that to offer you an invite, one choice if you will, that may be the one for you and your journey as a man right now, and that is an invite to be a part of this coming Saturday, March 27 at 5pm GMT (London Time) Group Call For Men hosted by myself, Aurius Amara along with James Elphick. The topic is Power, Adequacy, and Vulnerability.

Go here for more details and to sign up: www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

We ask for a donation of any amount to attend live or to receive the recording after, to show your intention and exchange, and to honour the space shared with other like minded men.

The call will be a max of 2 hours in a very well hosted and timed zoom call with teachings and reflections from myself, Aurius and James, as well as hearing from other men on the call who choose to share. Aurius and I will also offer about a 20 minute guided meditation during the call to meet your Inner Protector, who is the part of you that holds your relationship to your power, adequacy and vulnerability.

More info also here at https://www.facebook.com/events/427115595032366 if you’d like to invite someone special.

Aurius and myself both offer 1:1 sessions with men as well if you feel drawn and more about that is here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Much Love,

Raphael

The pic above is from the Solomon Stone yesterday at The Abbey here in Glastonbury. The stone is believed to be brought here by Joseph of Arimathea in the first century and came from the ruins of Solomon’s temple. I’m there receiving the download and the seed of the sacred masculine impartation – getting ready to host you on Saturday’s call.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

‘As Sure As Our Lord Was At Priddy’ – Exploring Metasoul Connections In Avalon and Beyond

Published on March 13, 2021March 23, 2021 by Raphael Awen1 Comment

by Raphael Awen

James Elphick and I took a trip to Priddy, Somerset, yesterday here in the UK, in Somerset county.
There is a saying in Priddy that the locals know, “As sure as our Lord was in Priddy.”

After being here in Glastonbury these last months, I was quite interested to learn of the many ‘legends’ of Jesus visiting here often during his life and especially as a boy. I was interested in him being taken here on trips with his uncle Joseph of Arimathea, who was not only a wealthy trader in tin and other metals that were mined in Priddy and surrounding areas, but Joseph was also probably the equivalent of the Jewish government’s ‘Minister of Mining’.

Now, you won’t find much in the traditional Bible to directly support these claims, but you can cite plenty of Bible references to corroborate the claims, if you will. If you expand your lens out to the ancient scrolls discovered in 1945 at Nag Hammadi, you get a lot more of an interesting picture.

Central to this expanded picture is that Jesus, or Yeshua as he was known in his own language, was in love and married to Mary Magdalene and had children with her. That didn’t fit with the Christian canon of scripture that was compiled in the 4th century and it had to be screened out to fit a tailored narrative. A narrative that only controlling men seemed to need and undertake, but also consciousness itself seemed to need to go through this veiled phase of awareness. We are, like consciousness itself, in a phase now where we are lifting that veil.

I was especially opened up to this larger story through reading Anna, the Grandmother of Jesus by Claire Heartsong. I deeply recommend her book if you are wanting to open up to this expanded story of Yeshua’s life, his mother, his grandmother, his mother’s uncle Joseph of Arimathea, and what’s known as the ‘Magdalene way of the rose’ that Yeshua was immersed in and devoted to.

But, back to my day yesterday. After reading Anna, Grandmother Of Jesus and coming across the many places here in Glastonbury that are significant to Joseph, Yeshua and the Magdalenes at large, I wanted to venture to visit Priddy, just a few miles from here in Glastonbury. Now that we recently purchased a car, the opportunity arose. I needed a bit more driving coaching from James getting used to driving on the left side of the road and the right side of the car, like they do here in the UK.

When we arrived in Priddy and parked the car, we noticed a different feeling space immediately of rest and tranquility. We took a stroll on the main road through town and saw a sign pointing to the village church and school. We came upon a playground filled with children at break time and we were struck by how playful and alive they felt. It didn’t feel anything like a city playground. There was just grass, a few trees and a soccer ball, but these children in their school uniforms felt like they were from another dimension somehow. Both James and I commented on it to each other. Right then, as I was taking a picture, a young boy ran after the ball and mid stride, he rolled into a full somersault as he chased after the ball.

That may have been the highlight and lesson of the day. If you’re going to chase after something, be sure you are having fun while you are doing it.

We entered the church of St. Lawrence, built in 1352, and took in a sweet feminine energy in the pictures of children and especially an artist’s portrayal of Jesus as a boy that was really striking and touching.

This morning I felt deeper into my soul’s connection with Joseph Of Arimathea and experienced that it was quite easy to connect with him. As we ‘conversed’, I was able to see how in his high place and office and wealth, many people projected onto him a kind of having it all together that really wasn’t the case. Those people who make an etheric connection with him may want to gain access to his secrets of wealth and he said this was also exhausting to be seen through this lens of having it all.

He told me he actually longed many times to be a commoner like the many who came to him wishing to be relieved from their everyday lives. He told me about the hardships of being in the money and wealth grids. How that necessitated a kind of hard energy and control in the marketplace that just was the reality in that time and place. His redemption was being able to channel his wealth into supporting his larger family and he said that without this, he would have gone completely over the deep end.

Joseph also told me of his joys of having Yeshua as a boy as his travel companion, one like no other. He told me that the boy I watched on the playground yesterday take a somersault on his way chasing after the ball was totally what Yeshua was like. He made everything and everyone around him come alive in such a way that no one could figure out where he got all of his free and alive energies from.

I’m feeling a desire to continue to open out and explore this connection further with Joseph and Yeshua. There feels like a lot to go into there, especially within our Magdalene community here in Avalon/Glastonbury.

Do join us for tomorrow’s group call:
I do hope you can join us this Sunday, March 14th at 5:00pm GMT/UK time/noon EST for our sacred sexuality group call with teachings and sharings from me and Jelelle (transparent and open ones too!), a guided meditation with Yeshua and Mary Magdalene and group participant sharing as well. You can join us by donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen.

We will be real about wherever we are in the moment around the process of sacred sexuality…not in some exalted, idealized, and bypassed state, yet in the raw and messy (and often blissy!) ground that exploring our sacred sexuality within and with others offers us!

Much love,
Raphael

Raphael Awen is a Sacred Union & Sacred Masculine Bridge, co-creator, teacher, and Facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Are You Up For Some Sex Talk?

Published on March 11, 2021March 18, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Jelelle and I have our next group call coming up on Sunday the 14th entitled Sacred Sexuality, and I want to invite you.

Okay, that was a bit of a ploy. Pardon the grabby come on, but the purpose of this writing is to draw people who might be interested in the call, so I thought it best to be in full disclosure right from the get go.

Can I ask you, how has life been for you as a sexual being? How do you at present relate to your sexuality?

Whether your experiences have been deeply negative or out of this world positive, both are a lot to bear in this mystery of our sexuality.

That you and I came into this life with this awakening need and desire of sexuality along with its potential for both the deepest fulfillments and the deepest disappointments really points to the vulnerability of our souls choosing to be in human incarnation.

For me, my teenage awakening into my sexuality was marked with fears and hiding that I effectively suppressed by taming it alongside a Christian dedication to God and Christian service. I embraced the no sex before marriage advice, partly out of my fear of my own sexuality and partly of wanting God’s blessing and sense of safety on something I felt to be so potentially unknown, destructive and harmful. I managed to enter my first marriage as a virgin and experienced a bandwidth of sexuality that felt right for where I was at and what I could handle. From a soul perspective, I can see where this muting of my sexuality was motivated from other timelines of sexual regrets and remorse.

When I left Christianity, and that marriage of 23 years, I was surprised to find a very ripe and ready unexplored teenage sexual energy that was alive and well coming back into my life with me now in my mid 40’s. I knew I needed and wanted to explore and mature this sexual energy and life and the Divine opened out a couple of rich and rewarding relationships that surprised me by discovering whole new layers of the lover in me.

This laid a whole new groundwork sexually and emotionally to be in relationship with Jelelle. I was given and continue to be given experiences that feel like such deep treasures and even trophies to me and parts of me. I’d like to support you to create your own heaven of sexuality.

The journey of vulnerability, desire and beautiful experiences continued for me over the past 13 years together with Jelelle. Now, however, I especially feel another whole layer of sexual energy expanding out into an invitation into a much wider place that is beyond both the teenagers and the adult relationship with sexuality.

I especially feel how the masculine’s relationship with adequacy and sexual prowess on one hand and then the strange behaviour of needing to get to orgasm, and to effectively close the sexual space are both energies that are rooted in our fears of our sexuality. We can shy away from our sexuality, or put it out there and bury it under a performance, but in both of these polarities we see and feel our uninitiated relationship with our own sexuality.

I’m convinced now that I’m only scratching the surface of a much deeper terrain that wants to continue to reform and inform my life with this sexual energy in a way that relates to all areas of my life. Compartmentalized and contained sexuality is a safety measure that we maybe all needed while we did or do, but the invitation is for this sexual energy of mateship with all of life and love itself to overflow into this deep sexual union where there is no difference between the love of God, the love of other and the love of self.

Every person you meet along with yourself was portaled into this world by sexual energy and they each contain vital sexual energy as a common denominator of aliveness, with shared fears, desires and for some of us trophy experiences – but all of it is wanting to take us yet much deeper into something so much more. Can I turn in my trophies and admit I want to keep going into more?

I’m horny for that more, more than just talk, but ongoing flow into the infinite more that we each are. I hope you are too. Any and all sexual traumas, desires, fears, yearnings, trophies, sorrows, are all a portal into this deep going on place in your soul’s journey this life.

I hope you will consider joining us for the upcoming group call this Sunday at 5pm London time, that will be tailored to individuals and couples. We ask for a donation of any amount to join. Details below. This call is also free to all members of our SoulFullHeart Portal private network which you can join for $14.99 USD per month, which also helps support our work.

Here is the link to the Facebook event if you’d like further info or to invite a friend: https://www.facebook.com/events/109338231107311

Here is the event on our website where you can reserve your spot by making a donation: https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

A Common Challenge For Awakening Men

Published on March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I had the pleasure of holding space for a man yesterday in session space over zoom and we encountered something together that feels really common for awakening men.

As he described some precious and powerful awakenings with Yeshua and many new places of openings recently, I couldn’t help but feel an anxious undertone in his sharing, so I just asked if he could feel a part of him that is vigilant about keeping up with awakening, and that opened out a whole portal to go into together where we felt and saw that the efforting and vigilance about awakening was being used to avoid an inner well of ‘persistent hollowness’. We were able to see and feel the part of him who lives in this hollowness and begin to see him as the one who holds vast access to creativity, as well as the men’s version of the womb, what’s known as the Hara.

This all felt so familiar to my own process of being out of touch with my own grief over the years, and with that of course, my own depression. I didn’t have any depression as near as I could tell, for decades actually, but truth was, part of me had just done an outstanding job of keeping it buried. I was quite a stellar human then, liked by many, but the treadmill of the efforting was starting to wear the benefits thin and the costs were tabulating.

I don’t think anything would have changed for me were it not for a crisis, and in some ways, an ongoing series of manageable mini crisis’ if you will.

Together in session with this man yesterday, we began to feel the call to really begin to bridge to this part of him, curiously and with open heart, get to know his reality. Negotiate with him to return out to play, not as another item on the to do list or the to be list of awakening, but just as a natural longing and appetite to get to know.

Then we felt THAT to be the ending of the efforting, as the efforting was actually being used to keep this part’s world and reality suppressed inside, when life is actually ripening this part’s reality to the surface.

I so don’t feel I could have bridged these realities inside of myself and my own healing/awakening process without ‘parts work’ as it is known. Without parts work, we just leave the part of us to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, without them feeling a you there to be with them, to bridge and support them in the changes they wish to make, kind of like the physically present, but all too often emotionally absent parents we experienced in growing up.

When the bridging occurs between you and a part of you, the perception of what both the problem and the solutions are also shift and change and whole new worlds emerge that were not seen before.

This is the magical portal that our wounding is, offering us sacred entry into dimensions not seen or known yet. Spiritual fixes for depression or anxiety aren’t much better than the pharmaceutical fixes are as both are about the fear and avoidance of this portal.

Being ready to enter this portal is quite organic, and you simply know when you are there. The call and question about sufficient courage is outweighed by the growing inability to hold up the old way any longer.

Whatever needs to be surrendered in order to enter the portal is kind of like shrinking your life into a 2 suitcase limit on a one way overseas airplane flight. You only have 23 kilos per bag, so the question becomes about what’s coming or not. Really, you can only take yourself, and a few most necessary items. The life you’ve created and accumulated needs to be largely or completely let go of. Socially, this is probably the hardest as our underlying and unconscious social agreements are about each of us promising to remain proximal in both geography and within a certain consciousness bandwidth with one another. You could say that we co-sign one another’s agreements to stay in resonant around remaining small, that is until we default on the agreement.

Some around us understandably get pissed, and rightfully so. We were the best exemplars to the agreement, maybe even better than the others in the picture were. And now, you’re the one pulling the pin. You also have some apologies to make, but the crazy thing is, no one wants the apologies, they want you to return, but crazier still is that you’ve already morphed beyond the place where that could even be possible. There’s nothing left but to honour that with grief and sorrow and goodbyes.

‘You’re the one who changed’ my best friend once told me while out on a hiking trail trying to bridge a conversation about the growing differences between us. He was right. Our unspoken agreement had been about remaining true to a code of values, purpose and meaning. My emerging values, purpose and meaning we’re leaving the parameters of our agreement. My old me simply couldn’t fit in the suitcase any longer and my departure date was fast approaching.

It wasn’t but a couple years later that I sat across from this friend at breakfast, with tears, and said goodbye to him, to our friendship, as where I was going was only going to leave both of us strained in a very unreal friendship, something neither of us were really capable of.

Life, real life, always brings up new enterings and leavings in this way. All of life could be summed up as a series of beginnings and endings in this way, and the most adapted to this reality, in their ability to feel grief and sorrow are truly the happiest campers. Joy comes in the morning and through the mourning.

What is it in life that is shifting and rumbling for you? What are you being asked to grieve and let go? How could you do that in a way that doesn’t leave you more wounded, withdrawn and reserved?

Could I help you make that transition? Could I help you embrace your bigger you? Could I help you find your soul family and passion purpose calling expression?

I moved into a new and brave world as a beginner, and have made some discoveries that may one day bear my name, but for now they are just here being offered to you, as these discoveries need more bold souls to test drive the living, loving and learning. Then it can be our discovery, and not just mine.

I would so welcome hearing from you, more about me and sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can email me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. Sessions are for 90 minutes and cost $100 usd. You may also be drawn to one of the three other current SoulFullHeart facilitators, my wife, Jelelle Awen, Aurius Amara, Kasha Rokshana, whose info is also at the link above and who can be reached at the same email address above.

The pic above is from a recent group day with six of us here in Glastonbury/Avalon. We look shiny and lovely because we are most of the time, but also not without some serious mess in the playful bliss, both as couples and as a community.

Love,

Raphael

Our next group call:

taking place on March 14th @ 5pm GMT (London, UK) with Raphael and Jelelle, which will focus on Sacred Sexuality. More info on that call can be found here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Joys Of Not Knowing

Published on March 3, 2021March 11, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Have you ever noticed that those who claim to not know how to pray offer the best prayers?

So often, it’s our experience and familiarity with something that hampers our arising and new direct interaction with that something.

How could we return to a state of not knowing in order to have a first time experience?

Even asking this question is using experience and knowing as an attempt to return to the innocence not knowing. Isn’t it maddening when the mind gets in the way, even when it’s wanting and willing to get out of the way, but just doesn’t know how?

Wait! I think we solved it, no?

You want to get out of your own way, but don’t know how. Now, you enter the womb of surrender.

You have a desire for something that you have no power or knowledge whatsoever on how you are going to achieve that something. All you have is what you don’t have.

I feel this place where my assets of past experience don’t seem to add up to anything of salvageable value towards entering a new unknown, except for the one asset of not knowing. If I don’t know, then I get to admit that, lead with that, toddle out my first steps into the new thing, laugh goodheartedly at myself along with the others I’m entertaining in the process.

I believe you also, not too far down inside, can feel the place where you don’t know what you are doing.

What if this could be admitted, owned, and cherished instead of a thing of shame and resistance and hiding? Your not knowing is the real gold you came here to share and explore.

You enter the God-zone where even God gets to not know through you.And it makes you really interesting, fun and sexy, if you ask me. Know it alls are boring and dry.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

My Long List Of Spiritual Attainments!

Published on January 29, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Taliesin Awen

I’d like to share with you some of my more attained spiritual practices, not to brag or anything like that, but more to be a good example if it’s helpful.

Now, just to be clear and full disclosure and all, there are a few attainments that I haven’t quite realized, that I’m still working on, things like teleportation or levitation and the like. But that doesn’t take away really from what I have, through a lot of fucking hard work been able to achieve.

Let me see, where to begin?

I am able to watch the ‘watch’ thing on Facebook of late and scroll through endless videos of people doing stupid things, sometimes for like a full hour, quite effortlessly actually. I had no idea that table tennis got that advanced since I was into it. That Ozzy guy is a bit rough around the edges with his voice over reviews, but kudos to him for just being himself. The odd scantily clad beach babe inevitably comes up and I usually try to not linger too long, as she doesn’t feel that exciting really, taunting me with her non-offer, except maybe for a titillating moment. Between getting bored and a bit sore from laying around doing nothing really, I then check my Facebook posts for likes and accolades, before passing out.

Then I’m also quite well versed on a Tetris like iPad game, a teenage obsession that crept back into my life recently, nothing too complicated with too many levels and such, but yet in that vortex another half hour or more can pass into oblivion.

It’s also on my list to be able to pass through walls, which isn’t going too well, just yet, but I am really good at consistently banging into walls. If that doesn’t feel like too attained of a thing, just ask the angels, they have the through walls thing going on, but most of them can’t bump into a wall if their life depended on it. I’ve bumped into so much shit, I fear going bald for all the scars and war wounds that will be revealed. I’ll just be sure and wear one of my favorite spiritual teacher hats when the time for that comes.

What else? Right, I’m really good at early morning meditation, but just in my own developed style or dharma if you will. My mind can go in six directions at once, and remain busy as hell, talk about ‘multidimensionality’! I usually drink tea and sit up in bed while I do meditation though as that lotus position twisty thing is as uncomfortable as hell, believe me. I maintain some really good focus until it’s time to write a post or again, as I said, check on Facebook for likes or accolades, or to break my fast on some chocolate or cacao ceremony as some call it, a perfect excuse for chocolate being the first thing I eat on a day with nothing better to do.

Prior to my enlightenment, I was stuck in relentless daily regular consistent practices like yoga and exercise and such, but now, I’m settling naturally into being able to slough off those things easily for another day,… or month. Breaking these nasty addictions has been a major game changer.

Forgive me if any of this sounds like bragging, but it just felt important to not be afraid to toot my own horn. How else can anyone else truly learn if those of us who have gone before are not willing to say it like it is?

What else? Sometimes, I can say or write some pretty brilliant things that people seem to like and be touched by. Where it all comes from, I’m still trying to figure out, really. But what I am getting figured out is that the one thing that really pisses a part of me off is pretending to be something I’m not, so that’s another one I’m still working on, after way the hell too much time spent posturing and pretending, which I’m discovering more and more to be maybe thee root of all stress in my life. That pattern comes up now big time in trying digest where and why a treasured romance recently suddenly came apart at the seams.

I want to get back to play, to really learning, or unlearning maybe more like, how to really be in the abandonment of play. The young kids I see more and more just don’t give a fuck somehow in this really delicious way, and God, I’d love to get more like that. So don’t think for a moment that I’ve got absolutely everything figured out just because I’m admittedly ahead of you in these ways I’m describing.

One more thing while I’m on a roll, I’ve gotten quite expert at reading any room and showing up with what’s expected and hiding away things that I guess wouldn’t score me too many points, or worse, get me kicked out of the game. All that has done me a lot of good, or so I thought, even made me plenty of money over the years, even if it hollowed out most of the deeper meaning in many of my relationships. When I say meaning, I think I’m speaking to the freedom of finding the self permission to just fucking being real in an ever deepening way. If it ain’t real; warts, language, offense and the like, what the hell good is it? Maybe you and I both could use some offense!?

I’m pretty good too at overeating. Why eat just the right amount of all the right things when you can bloat yourself out for the rest of the day and night? Nothing you can’t fix with some dessert thrown on top for good measure to assuage the disconnect of eating about twice what I actually needed.

Anyway, I’m running out of more examples just now, but it felt important to at least give you the high points and set the record straight, for my self worth, to not be afraid to say it straight. And it shouldn’t take you as long as it’s taken me, with me blazing the way for you, a true exemplary wayshower.

Now that I said all that, I feel ready to get going on the next challenges. After all, as they say, if you’re not going forward, you’re going backward. So here’s to fully ass-ending or ascending or whatever that’s called that everyone’s gotten their knickers in a knot over. I’m kind of sure we’ll all end up at the finish line sooner or later, on our asses maybe, but there nonetheless, so not to worry if you’re a bit slower than me. I look forward to being in that moment with each of you and debriefing this whole thing, what we got figured out, and what we didn’t.

You may even be having a better time at all this than I did. I’d be happy to pass the baton and you get to be the shining example, and I get to be a follower for a change.

We’re all different and all God’s children, don’t forget. Hopefully I’m not too far ahead and you’ll still be able to relate. I don’t want to be so heavenly minded as to not be of any earthly good. And of course, I need to make a living at this while I’m at it, so if you care to send money, I’ll be sure to spend that on ice cream and the like.

Yours in sacred service,

Raphael

As you may have seen in a recent post, I’m in process of changing my first name to Taliesin. This writing felt like Raphael, who I’m now relating to as a part of me, and him wanting to part with a layer, a role, that he doesn’t want to take with him as he retires from the lead and heads out for some very well deserved and needed time away in Golden Earth. Thank you to each of you witnessing and feeling with me. Taliesin

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Raphael Has Changed His First Name To Taliesin

Published on January 29, 2021February 13, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Taliesin Awen

Dearly Beloveds known and to be known,

Well, I did it! I’ve changed my name in the annals of my own heart and with those closest to me and it’s time to announce that here after sharing deeply about the intention here in a recent FB post recently, hoping that it doesn’t come up for you as too weird or abrupt.

Allow me to say a couple more important things first…

I decided NOT to start a whole new FB page, contrary to what I said I was going to do – thank god! That was said in a moment of de-spiration from within the deeply polarized vortex I went through last week. I’m really relieved to remain here and bring the new energies of what’s unfolding for me to share with those here.

I’d really love to be on your ‘see first’ list here on FB because I feel deeply called to be joined with those who’d like to share a resonance flow together and deepening ongoing journey together.

If you don’t feel drawn to have that together and by chance find it hard to relate to my energy, it’s okay if you need to unfriend too or just choose a safer distance. I trust that life is taking both of us where we need to go. I just want to increase the intention of being together at the orbit that feels right.

Thank you for who you are and what you add to my life.

Okay, that was the really important stuff, but there’s still more stuff to share.

In case you’re wondering, my new name is pronounced Tal-ee-ES-in. It may be a bit of a stumble for a while, but that’s all part of it. If you call me Raphael out of habit, that’s quite okay too. I’m relating to Raphael as a very beloved part of me, giving him the opportunity to receive my heart, instead of the long journey of being my heart that he now gets to rest from if that makes sense.

I feel like I recently went through the biggest death and rebirth canal of my life recently, I’m sure there’s more to go, but I do feel to be finding some handrails and seeing some light of a bright new and glorious day in the moment. This has been about going through my biggest heartbreak this life in completing my romance with Jelelle and worse, even fearing not having her and close feminine beloveds in my life in some way, shape or form that I’ve known and come to treasure so deeply. I’m on the higher side at the moment of what has felt like quite a manic ride of the lowest lows and the highest highs. I’d check myself in if I didn’t have some sense of deep trust and surrender to the process. My heart has been and is being broken open in a new way to receive love and to serve love, and dang, it feels so fucking alive!

I feel called to gather a round table of men to share in this aliveness of heart and soul. The beloved women in our lives and the feminine within will not be unwelcome in any way, quite the opposite actually. We just need private space to process and feel and heal together with what’s real now. I see this round table as like a gathering of Arthur’s knights where we are each arising kings and equals, each with unique gifts and contributions, where each man participates with his sovereignty intact and present, rather than something you give up at the door and have hung before you like a carrot that you can then earn back in exchange for your conformity and good behaviour. I know that last sentence is saying a lot, but I believe it has much to do with why men in general (as compared to women) are more distant to deep inner work, emotionally and spiritually – because they don’t want to be emasculated or dominated as they surrender vulnerably to love and let go to find their true power.

I’m deeply sharing this calling with my beloved closest friend and deepest heart and soul brother, Gabriel Heartman who I have known and lived in deep community with for nearly a decade, lived in 3 countries with, but now am actually living together with, sharing dreams, desires, heartbreaks and heart openings. The inspiration is rising and there are some sweet announcements to make soon, just after we share them and feel them and shape them with our closest beloveds first. Please stay tuned – hence the request above to be on your ‘see first’ list.

Okay, I guess I can’t tell you everything in one post, but let me say for now that you will be seeing more of Gabriel and I, expanding out with more and more men, live streams, Conversations With Men videos, ‘courses’ are definitely in the picture, too.

We’re just looking for ways to channel and share in a calling, to nourish and be nourished. Much of this content we are feeling to make by donation or to charge for as opposed to creating free content, as that doesn’t seem to really work for any of us. We definitely need the money and those we share with need to put some skin in the game for the game to be engaging and come alive.

We are just about to share, (and ask a donation for) a video we recorded as a guided meditation to meet your grief directed to men. This feels like the biggest portal for men to enter their sacred calling. It also deeply thrusts them into communication with the parts of themselves they haven’t yet bridged contact with. And it also thrusts them into the world of their own soul, their own Metasoul brothers and sisters in the most grounded and relational way. So please stay tuned for that.

Both Gabriel and I offer one on one sessions for men and if you’d like to explore that, we’d love to hear from you, serve you and receive your financial support in exchange for. The cost is $100 USD for a 90 minute session together and they are transformational beyond words!

We’re both feeling to put out our tip jars as we go on our stuff. Again, we need and want the exchange of your energy, love in the form of money. You can share some here: paypal.me/awentaliesin. I would be so grateful and tickled to receive your love in this form and allow it to be part of a deepening sacred bond together.

Thank you also to each of you who share my stuff with your FB circle of friends! Precious introductions.

Let’s do this and let’s do it together,

Taliesin (and Raphael)

Tal-ee-ES-in

Tons of love!

Our sessions Page: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

My Romance Completion With Jelelle Awen

Published on January 6, 2021 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

I’d like to share a deep personal update regarding myself and my relationship with Jelelle.

A few weeks ago, Jelelle and I agreed to give some space, and to sleep apart for a night or two, and that quickly arose to more clarity and relief and draw towards giving ourselves back to ourselves. A peaceful, palpable and supported guidance arose each day, amidst the shock and grief of that at the same time, to let go of our romantic and sexual bond of 12 plus years, and to see what wants to come next beyond that.

Something undeniable was completing, had become more recognizable in recent months, and had now gone full circle and all we could do was be with it each day for the past several weeks. We checked in with one another most days since sharing deeper digestions, discoveries, apologies, many tears and love. Our immediate Soulfullheart community around us was our first line of support and we then in turn shared this on our members only Soulfullheart Portal. The support and love was overwhelming, making this unimaginable feared thing, somehow doable, albeit a rollercoaster at the same time.

Jelelle and I agreed that we would like to share this publicly now in concert with one another as it feels weird at some point to not be transparent, after a needed more private space was taken. I feel accountable to love itself, to be transparent about my story, my gains, my losses, and then to let love return me to me, and me back to love.

This is definitely a strange time, and timed with Gaia’s own solstice movements into death and rebirth. I feel weak in my body and mind to be sharing this all now, but I trust it at the same time. A cold arose in my body and has been moving through, something I can’t remember having a full on cold like this in so many years, understandable now as the body, heart and soul goes into a deep reset.

I shared on our recent group call that Jelelle and I led that I felt maybe the one greatest treasure of discoveries this life is a discovery that has since led to all the discoveries and treasures that followed, including the treasure of these years with Jelelle, and that single most outstanding discovery is the ability to grieve. Without the ability to grieve, we limit ourselves from life’s death and rebirth cycles. Being incarnate into human form is to sign up for gain and loss, for joy and sorrow, and to the degree I can let in and feel the loss, is the degree the deeper joy that wants to come is then allowed to come.

At 19, when a girlfriend broke up with me, it took me a full additional 19 years for life to feel safe enough for me to come to a place to let in the grief of that loss. The loss, though 19 years prior, was now through an awakening process like it was the week before as I suspended life as I knew it sufficiently to allow the waves of grief and tears to roll through. Looking back at that delayed grief experience now, some 20 years later, I can feel how epic of a turning point that was for me and how subsequent life changes that arose could be referenced back to that time. It was the kindergarten of my relationship to grief. I felt so human to feel my grace to lose deeply and in that to prepare for the magic of what was lost to return in whatever ways it wanted to. Being able to draw the relationship with Jelelle and then have the ability to show up for the many rigors that relationship would call me too was definitely rooted in that earlier grief process.

Fast forward to today and I can so see how the arising treasure now in all this journey is the deepening into the love that wants to exist, me to me, my feminine to my masculine and vice versa, a love that can never be lost, or ‘taken away’.

That all may sound a bit like a contextual big picture kind of perspective, and it is to be sure, but it doesn’t take away from the waves of feelings of allowing myself to completely melt down, repeatedly these past weeks into inconsolable tears at times of letting go. A deep and profound consolation does arise when I can just allow each part of me to have their unedited and necessary reactions.

Jelelle and I have always acknowledged that our romantic bond would sustain while it was mutually growthful for us to deepen in this inward journey, and oh, how it has done that! This arising into deeper vulnerability where the only guarantee is an inward one, raises the stakes too, I’ve found, inviting more risk, more investment, more trust, and mostly more growth into The All that I Am.

Maybe some of you who have followed us feel surprised or even shocked on some level to feel us not sustaining as a couple. I can only tell you that that is a human tendency, and a familiar one of my own, to project some kind of perfection onto an other, to pedestalize, a projection of your own perfection that you are just not ready to quite hold just yet and so you need a place to put it for safekeeping. If I was a part of that projection for you, I am honoured to have served you in that, and I’m sorry for your loss, while at the same time feeling the needs for each of our pedestals to topple when the time is ripe. The beloveds closest to us know all too well the grist in our edges that showed up in our relationship, and how sacred and necessary those edges were. I particularly am discovering a torch of illumination onto my configurations and relationship patterns these past days again, feeling what was parked in shadow and what was energized in light, and how all of that wants and needs to be loved now in the relief of a sacred completion inside of me – a homecoming, a returning home to myself after an amazing mission into beauty and bounty, a time to debrief, to let go and let in.

To each of you who have loved and lost, and were subsequently willing to feel that loss, I feel like your kin, your kind, to have shared in that experience. To enter love is to enter love’s illusion and disillusion. Romance is particularly idyllic and fairy tale, where we are invited to make that fairy tale as true a fairy tale as can be, to ingest all of its experiences, and then to allow all of that to return to love itself. It’s got to be the biggest bravery and deepest vulnerability there is, to do this from the heart.

Inevitably, there is the temptation to assign blame in the aftermath, as a resistance, a distraction to feeling the depth of the loss. Thank God, Jelelle and I both seemed to have truly made it past that mile post some time back together. There’s like this banquet of love to be felt on the other side of the blame game. If no one is to blame, then I can see where I limited love and admit it and ask forgiveness, not to be absolved of guilt, but to let love have its new and ongoing way with me, and hopefully between Jelelle and I into new grounds of love together.

Beginning this month, as the place we’d been staying with the 5 of us as a community, was no longer available, and as our New Year travel plans for Malta were cancelled due to Covid, we all decided it was best and desirable to hunker down here in Glastonbury. Gabriel and I found a place to live in town to allow for the needed space to ground into this new reality, while remaining in connection as a fivesome here.

Thank you to each of you reading this, feeling me, yourself, as I pause to feel what else I’d like to say in this post. Making this public feels like another layer of digestion, of accepting this new reality. Sharing this is an opportunity to receive love from love itself in the form of your responses and I open myself to that love.

I’m so freaking grateful to have found my tears of reunion and to be a part of others finding their tears of reunion with themselves and with love. I’m grateful to serve others in their discoveries with love. I’m called to be this trans-parent, because god (our parent) knows, all that’s really needed is transparency – it heals everything and allows love to flow.

Jelelle, I want to say publicly how profoundly grateful I am to you to have been your partner in romance, in sensuality, in sexuality, in vulnerability, in angst, in tears, in longings, in service to others, in evolution, in bounty and beauty, and in loss too. If I can lose this much, what does that have to say about how much more there is to gain, in new forms of love, with myself, with you, with life and with others? You are truly beautiful beyond compare. I hope I can stay in the room to endure the new forms of that love that want to radiate between us and through us, to allow the gift of these past 12 years to continue to unfold, into more joint service, into deeper community and service with others. I love you.

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

King Arthur’s Call To Men

Published on December 9, 2020January 13, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

https://youtu.be/epvpcj5r9dU

By Raphael Awen

I believe this is a moment like no other, a moment of opportunity, a moment to choose deep and profound change, a moment to embrace all of you, from your highest leading ‘I Am’ Self all the way down to your ‘lowest’ edge where parts of you live in doubt and insecurity.

Nothing is actually lower or higher. You will never become any more sacred than you already are! If that is true, then you and I finally have the freedom, to look deeply into the mirrors of our lives, our circumstances, our relationships and take the deepest inventory of what’s also true there, as none of it can take away or add to the fact that ‘I already AM, all that I ever might become’.

I am very deeply interested in all that I might become. I am also very deeply interested in all that I already am. While this has always felt true for me on some level on my journey, I can tell you that it has felt like my biggest challenge as well. It has waxed and waned. At times, even very recently, I’ve seen my bigness stare me in the face and it has scared parts of me to the core. Numerous hideouts and comfortable ceilings have again been discovered and negotiated with, and let go of, only to be faced with another layer of vulnerability, insecurity and desire. I suspect that this is the whole deal of being here. It gets to move for me from more private to more service-based as I transparently live this out loud.

I’m no longer of the illusion that these kinds of challenges where I must face a new place in me feeling contracted or small will somehow become ‘healed’ or a thing of the past. If I AM is truly infinite greatness, then any and all achievements or attainments, no matter how great, how relieving, how homecoming, how much of an entrance into my personal promised land – they still remain a humble kindergarten. I’m starting to get used to that! – another celebrated ‘attainment’ in and of itself, where any and all movements either forward or backward are part of the magical and infinite I AM that I AM.

The other big thing all of this offers me is that the only one I can ever be a saviour for, is me and me alone. I can’t offer you anything you don’t already possess. With this clarity, I can however, hold space to offer you, YOU.

When Moses, standing in his small self perceived stature before a burning bush manifestation of God, hearing the voice of God calling him and sending him, asked God a very understandable question: “Who do I say sent me?” and God answers, “Tell them thee I AM that I Am has sent you.”

I’m here today standing before mankind, my kind, saying “The I Am that I Am, has sent me to you.” I’m here, in your hearing, speaking to your I AM that I AM, before the burning bush of your desires, your heart aches, your heart passions, inviting you into something tangible, alive and real, inside and outside.

I’ve crossed a threshold into my own promised land and feel it is more important than ever to invite other men who are ready to enter theirs with me. I can’t do what I’m called to do, or be what I’m called to BE, in a box or on my own. I get to walk out my more in the resonance field that’s generated with other men doing the same.

I’ve done that primarily with Gabriel Heartman for many years in a time where most efforts to expand numbers were met with more inner expansion than any kind of outward expansion. Time and process was needed mostly in private. I feel and see that changing now. Something is shifting in men and in the core of my I Am, informing all of me with a new resolve, as well as a sacred and ongoing completion of my own very real push-pull relationship with my own bigness. I want that more than I want life. This is life to me.

What is life to you? What do you most deeply want? Are you prepared to reach out for a lifeline when one is thrown to you, or will you continue praying for a lifeline instead? There’s a time to ask and a time to act.

I may be sounding fearfully close to a promo salesperson now, and to be sure, I AM trying to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on you. It’s strange though, because no words that I might write or speak could ever actually achieve this. It’s only and ever achievable by living it out inside of myself, and you picking up on that and choosing the same for yourself.

Our mutual benefit is then easy and natural, whether we go any further in any kind of together way.

If however, the particular signature frequency of my deal feels like it may be or wants to be a part of your signature deal, then I deeply invite you to check out who I AM and what I offer.

This video is me here in the Abbey ruins in Glastonbury, offering a connection with one of my beautiful Metasoul brothers; King Arthur. How fitting as he knows how to assemble and lead a round table of men!

Gabriel Heartman and myself both serve men in one on one sessions helping men embrace all of themselves in ongoing process via a specific path. Here’s a link to more about sessions: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions.

Sessions may well be a bit too close, too soon, for where you are, if you’ve just discovered us. If so, I invite you to consider following us at whatever distance feels comfortable for you, while serving your heartache and opportunity.

A great way to do that is to join our SoulFullHeart Portal for $15 usd per month, a private on-line community where you get to share with like minded men and women, as well as a men’s only portion of the Portal, and receive exclusive content, writings, videos and transmissions. Here’s an invite to our Portal.

If you’ve read this through this far, then I know you are feeling the truth of the first words I spoke today – that this is a moment of opportunity like no other. Other moments will be sure to come, if that’s what your I AM needs to orchestrate for you, but what if this moment right now is your moment, or at least one of them? What if what I’m offering you is offered to you for you to make a deeper personal connection, to see where it takes you, to see if what you are feeling right now, continues to self validate as a truly profound going on place? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Gabriel would love to hear from you.

I can tell you from the depths of my heart and experience that I Am wanting, willing and ready to serve you, to show up for you as you show up for you.

If you are a woman who’s read this all the way through, bless you! And allow yourself to take in all these words directed at men, and feel them for your own inner masculine parts of you. Also, let your sacred yearning and desire for men and the missing masculine to rise up and claim the inhabitation of their long awaited I AM selves, be a gift of alchemy transmitted to all the men feeling this, whether by my words today, or by the same download that’s being broadcast into the collective from many different sources right NOW.

If you know of other men who you feel are ready for such a time as this, please share this post with them.

May we each arise to this occasion to find ultimately that there was ever only one of us and one occasion all the while, one truly worth showing up for.

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

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