Tag: consciousness expansion

Accepting What You Have Already Manifested In Order To Manifest True Soul Desires

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By  Raphael Awen

The hard part of ‘becoming a manifester’ isn’t the obtaining of some magical alchemical highly-hidden esoteric ability.

It’s something much more mundane.

It’s the self responsibility to see and admit that you already are this manifester, just maybe not of the kinds of realities a part of you was hoping to manifest.

You already fully are the creator. You don’t need to work on that to get it going.

What you can work on is the willingness to assume response-ability for what’s been created already.

What are the various parts of me creating in my life as powerful manifestations?

Why? When? How? With whom?

Make a full-on quest of these questions.

Add in a bunch of love from your Divine Self as you explore these parts of you. Honour all that has been created for how it has brought you to this present moment with both its sorrows and joys.

These parts of you and soul aspects hold your present manifestation power and creativity. If you bridge to them with your opening and curious heart, you can get them on board with creating entirely new realities that never existed before.

Now, the courage you gained in your quest becomes called on in order to adapt to the challenges of the new super abundant reality. Higher timelines are not without challenge, and this is why the universe needed you to start right from where you were without skipping any grades.

I’d love to help you with this process. Check into sessions together at the link below with myself and let’s let the quest reignite.

Raphael Awen

divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

The pic above was from 6 years ago of Jelelle and I. Just yesterday, as Jelelle stepped out of the house to join me in the back yard for some sun and barefoot grounding, I was again struck by how I get to be in this reality with her. She is without a doubt the most major manifestation that I was surprised by and still am.

I want to find others, soul family others, who are willing to be in and to bear the calling of loves many manifold manifestations. 🌹💚

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment.  Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Reconciling Our Needs, Appetites & Desires As A Key To Our Growth

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By  Raphael Awen

It feels so apparent to me that our appetites, needs and desires are the key factor in our growth, learning, evolution as well as our fulfillment.

But the hard part is that it is these same appetites, needs and desires are very intertwined with our pain, our suffering and our addictions.

It may well be that were it not for appetites, needs and desires, there wouldn’t be any suffering. That seems to be the conclusion of many spiritualities. Religions as well offer various ways of dealing with this dilemma and dichotomy.

I’ve been feeling this heightened in myself this past year, heightened more in recent months and weeks dealing with changing body tolerances to favored foods. A lot of life change brings on holding onto familiar comforts for a time and stretching the tension between what fulfills in the moment and what truly rewards.

I was dealing with heightened indigestion, loss of sleep due to frequent urination and came to that point of a deeper desperation. I chose to fast for the needed reset.

It wasn’t a mandated forced self discipline way of going about it. That ability of disciplining myself to do anything is one of the things that has changed for me too, to where what I deepest desire, seems only possible to move towards if it is by desire and surrender. It has been a scary thing to lose, this ability to marshall change by willpower alone.

I do feel all of this as an upgrade, but definitely finding on a deeper level how the only real way that I can navigate any upgrade is to feel it all as I go.

After 3 days of fasting and feeling everything along the way, yesterday, while out for a walk in my familiar village, walking a section without people, I spoke aloud my desires, yearnings and the fears associated with losing the opened-out edge that I feel while fasting. Will desire and appetite just return to their old groove and I’m left with more despair for being almost worse off? I felt the part of me very tenderly who holds that question. I deeply honored the tenderness and transparency of the question. I reflected back to this part of me how awesome it is for us to feel this tension together instead of allowing the unanswered tension play out in our navigation of our appetites and desires.

I’m returning to some fruit smoothie this morning, allowing my strength to return to show up for what’s next.

This is a big piece that Jelelle and I feel called to live and share, this ongoing transition to living on light. Many people have made the transition to where their bodies are sustained without eating physical food, without any loss of the quality of their health.

Many too who reached that place have also found that though they could get their body in the groove, they hadn’t felt all there was to feel along the transition and chose to return to eating in order to fill in the gaps of their transition.

It is light that we all live on. We just differ in how we source that light. That’s the journey and it’s all about our relationship to our desires, appetites and our current fulfillments. That makes for such a deep common denominator amongst us while also making for so much diversity.

To know that light itself without the need for physical food can sustain the body points to the reality that that same light is all we need for all of our needs. We ‘earn’ money as part of journey to realizing that all worth and value is freely available and attainable for all of our needs. Then deeper in the journey we realize that we are so humbly entitled to full sustenance by our birthright in a super abundant universe.

There’s still some ‘rules’ that seem to govern this super abundant universe to where we are in a symbiosis of giving and receiving, but that is a higher frequency than ‘earning’.

What if what you do to earn money could be transformed into giving more of you to love and to life while you earn that money?

Love to every part of us and to each other for holding these tensions of our journey in being born into need desire and our appetites.

Raphael 💚

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment.  Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Unleashing Your Sorrow To Attain Your Joy

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By  Raphael Awen

You can’t really uncap your true joy without uncapping your sadness or sorrow.

Your deep joy essence is part of your emotional body, your emotional being. But so are feelings of sadness and sorrow that parts of us are often resistant to feeling, that have been compartmentalized for safe keeping.

The problem is though that there is no ‘safe keeping’ for unwanted feelings indefinitely. The part of you who feels those feelings wants to be felt, connected with and known.

As you become more willing to explore these so called ‘negative emotions’ (which are so tired of being ‘negated’), you also open up your native deep, rich and profound joy channels.

As we are journeying here as souls in a remembrance journey of yearning to experience more of our divine soul essence being embodied, it means that sadness, sorrow and missing will need to be an equal part of the propulsion system on that journey, right up there with the true joys of homecoming. You can’t be getting glimpses of a paradise lost and a paradise regained without feelings of deep missing.

All of it wants to be allowed in the moment, in the now. I have found this reconciliation of my sorrow to be an ongoing challenge to any parts of me still holding onto conditioning that I should somehow be beyond sorrow. Entering that friction inside always opens me up to new joys.

The good news is that these sorrows or sadnesses won’t actually swallow you whole, contrary to how parts of you have positioned their resistance to opening up to your sorrow. Your divine self always offers a rate and pace that you can bear, along with the answers of deep joy right alongside of it all.

The courage this requires however is truly significant because our Inner Gatekeepers and Inner Protectors really don’t know how much gas there is in your tank to complete this journey. Nor do they know how deep or arduous the journey will be.

This can only be consciously and directly negotiated with these aspects of yourself which becomes the assurance of the possibility of this journey as well as the assurance of the outcome.

I find it so hugely rewarding to open my heart to others pain in service and dedicated 1:1 session space with individuals who are ready for these kinds of inward journeys. The courage they find, the desire and readiness they demonstrate fuels my own journey. Info on me and the work I offer and the community around it all is here: divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

Being willing to bear these deeper joys and the deeper sorrows are all actually the divine’s own expression and experience through us and with us!

Love to you in all you are willing to feel and move through in your service to love, your service to yourself and your service to me!

💚 Raphael

This gorgeous flower I found yesterday was growing just down the way in our village, flourishing even amongst the subdued weather and delayed spring this year.

The Professional, The Provisional & The Profusional

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The PROFESSIONAL is one who declares openly that they have the know how and the care and the full time commitment to something. They promise expertise mixed with care and full commitment. They operate in a world of scarcity and competitive edge, hoping to gain our trust.

The PROVISONAL is the more relaxed one who declares that they’re doing their best. They’ll make do, hopefully. They operate in a world of “I’m in, at least until a replacement can be found.”

The PROFUSIONAL is one who is pouring forth love so abundant, it’s overwhelming. The care and the expertise that is flowing from them is both personal and transpersonal, connected to the source field of all knowledge and all discernment. They operate in a world connected to the superabundant source of all life. The results they produce can be more than you thought you were looking for. Their declaration of credentials is embedded deep in their being, before words are spoken. You only go to them when you’re ready for a deep shift and complete with other phases of growth and learning.

I like the profusional, personally. 😊 They’re the ones I want to be around. They’re the ones that nourish. They’re the ones I want to model after.

Yeshua was a profusional. When followers who were clearly both drawn and hesitant towards him said, “I’ll be right there, Yeshua, just as soon as I’m done looking after my dying parent,” Yeshua replied, “Let the dead bury the dead, you come follow me.” He read this person’s higher timeline, called out their ‘nobility’ that was in service of staying small, and offered it to them. He sorted out their draw to him, not allowing them to suffer in a half-in, half-out place.

That’s the confrontation of deep overwhelming love and possibility. It always includes a letting go of something to embrace a larger something. We all chose this world of choice. We’re already exercising this power of choice in every moment. It just wants to be turned now in its direction towards love, rather than from love.

Our choices are what regulate the amount of love we can take in and digest at any given time. There are valid reasons why we would need and want to slow things down, and this is where sacred choice comes in. Lack itself was created by love as a way for love to come to know itself, so there is no judgment on a necessary slower timeline. It could be said of everyone of us, that we are in a kindergarten relationship with love’s infinite potential. The veil is necessary.

Yeshua liked to push the boundaries, however, to explore beyond the safe and the known. He taught that the Kingdom of Heaven (the true ‘more’ that you seek) is likened to a man who happens upon a pearl of great price while walking through a field, who after beholding it, buries it in the field, then proceeds to go out and sell all that he has, so that he can return to purchase the field that contains this pearl.

We’ve all done this before. We’ve gone after something. Gave up other things to get that thing. Think about when you fell in love. Your ‘wanter’ will need to come back online, and be dusted off from its journey in the halls of the non-dual invalidation of the healthy ego. You’re going to need an ego to play in this game. You’re going to need to have needs, and be able to care for them, if you will ever be in the overflow of care and love for others in this profusion.

The cool part of all this is that in this higher heart motivation, the most truly ‘selfish’ motivation, is transmitted from the scarcity world of ‘my benefit at your cost’ to the world of ‘whatever is in my highest interest is in actual alignment of all others, because at root, there is only one of us.’ ‘Self’ is not only redeemed from the sinful picture of being separate from God, but celebrated and calibrated as the divine itself expressing in flesh. Your embodiment of all this is your divine reunion. It’s your ‘pearl of great price.’

It will ‘cost’ you, but it will be felt to be a pittance compared to the superabundance that you realize in yourself, and for the one-self of The All that we all are.

I lead and participate in a specific world of profusion. A specific soul family playground that requires preference. We all had to choose deeply and risk and give up other things to be a part of it. I’m inviting you to feel if what I lead is part of your pearl of great price.

There’s one thing you won’t have to give up to participate and that’s your sovereignty. You’re going to need to truly own that more than you thought you did actually. Only one in possession of their autonomy is able to surrender it into a setting while healthily retaining it. It’s the only safe way to go ‘all in’.

We’ve all seen the long played out unhealthy surrender of people’s autonomy onto pedestalized gurus who proved unworthy of our higher self projections onto them. We’re getting beyond that phase now in our collective consciousness.

What’s your ‘next’? If you were to gather up your investments, pool them into a fund, what, and who and where would you spend it on?

I encourage you to find that worthy place. Let yourself dream of it. Feel and love every voice inside of you that says it’s not possible. Know that their resistance is key and the portal to you transmuting your world to the new world. Take a next step in that direction. See how that step fuels the next. It makes you interesting, powerful and beautiful. It all looks so good on you!

Love,

Raphael 💚

This pic was part of Jelelle and I’s visit this past week to the Templar Castle and the later Church overlay onto it in Tomar, Portugal.

When we took these pics, we were both stunned by the transmission of our leading edge with a message that says “despite your questions, yes, you really are this big!”

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for men (and with Jelelle for women) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Your Unhappiness Is Key To Your Happiness

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By  Raphael Awen

If you’re not unhappy, you’ll never come to know true happiness.

Twenty years ago, I had ten big desires brewing inside of me, that all felt so out of reach. Today, I’m actually living in the fulfillment of all ten.

In some ways, at 62 years old, I’m happier than I ever imagined I’d be and in some ways, I’m not.

If you’re curious and drawn to some real transparency, please allow me to explain, but only if you’re truly wanting to dare to own your own sacred journey, as well as your deeper desires.

If you’re here and reading this, I feel it’s safe to assume that you’re connected to a deep common denominator in each of us to grow and expand. That’s why I’m writing and reflecting on this, actually, to keep on growing.

A quick list of the 10 really big desires I had brewing back in 2004 were as follows:

To escape the world I had created in a profitable niche world in my 30 year long painting contracting business. It was too easy and felt like a trap in many ways.

I wanted to leave the city I had spent the last 40 years in, but that felt so far out of reach.

I wanted to get out of debt financially.

I wanted to express my soul purpose and live in a much deeper sense of mission in my life, with more influence and connection with my world around me.

I wanted to be really intimately connected with a soul mate romantic bond inside of that mission.

I wanted to travel and live somewhat nomadically, and be in a much deeper connection with nature inside of that romance and soul purpose.

I wanted to get beyond a very limited sexual expression and repertoire which was all I’d ever known.

I wanted out of a 23 year marriage as well as my lifelong relationship with Christianity, both of which were reaching the end of their natural life cycle inside.

I wanted to learn how to live inside of the superabundance of the universe where I didn’t ‘work to earn a living’.

Each of these desires spoke to something really true of my soul. Looking back, it’s quite striking to feel how each one of these desires has been fulfilled when 20 years ago, each one only felt like a dream, where the entire self-help Tony Robbins like phase of my consciousness where ‘You can manifest the life of your dreams’ was no longer anything I had much steam for inside of me.

The dreams felt more and more taunting to me as I couldn’t see where and how I could move towards them. All I could feel was a sense of my life powering down in many ways, and my impulses to protect what I didn’t want to lose kept making me feel more trapped and more in despair of ever realizing these elusive dreams.

It’s an even stranger thing to realize that from the vantage point of 20 years ago, I’m both more fulfilled today than I’d ever imagined and I’m also not.

All of these desires were quite external to my internal world, which wasn’t nearly as in focus at the time. Many of the desires were strategic hopes of not having to enter my personal internal hells to find this imagined external heaven. What life and my soul gave me was a mission much deeper than the one I was superficially, externally, dreamily focused on, and that was to begin to truly feel and heal long avoided terrains inside of me.

Parts of me back then imagined in all those dreams, if I were somehow ever to make them more than dreams, if I actually realized them, that I’d be guaranteed to be outside of a world of deep challenge, of any experience of fears and insecurities, that I’d have life by the tail somehow, at least on my terms. I would be in expansive heart and soul fulfillment somehow. The dreams were like an imaginary world to cycle in, to escape into. In many ways, they felt so safely impossible, that parts of me didn’t actually worry about what it would be like to actually move my life from where I was then to where I wanted to be.

I didn’t really have a travel plan or a relocation plan because I didn’t see myself traversing that gap between my reality and my desires, until I began unavoidably falling into that gap.

I feel many men and women are right there now, falling into that gap, into that primordial void space. We are in deep cycles of death and rebirth, where not only individuals, but also entire cultures and ways of being in the world are reaching the end of their intended life cycles. We’ve received a sobering terminal illness diagnosis that feels quite unavoidable and convincing. Change is coming. Time to prepare, but how?

Where my unhappiness lives in me today is realizing this expectation or even demand that I’d be happier than I actually am was some kind of expectation of being saved or removed from life itself. My soul, and your soul never actually expected that life here in physical form would be free of deep challenges, or immune to unhappiness.

Your and my soul knew then and knows now that the propulsion system and digestive system of our growth always includes a ‘wanter’. No wants, no appetites, no unhappiness…; no real life.

Your and my present ‘skin in the game’ of carrying unfulfilled desires is what makes us interesting, useful and capable of deep joy, reverence and meaning. Without new desires showing up on the shores of your deepest fulfillments to date, you are withdrawn from life and love itself.

The biggest purpose at the core of the universe may be love itself wanting to come to know and feel itself, to unveil itself to itself. If that’s accurate, then you and I, as manifestations and expressions of that love itself, best gear up and ‘fear up’ (in a healthy way) of giving ourselves over to love’s cycle of despair, turning to yearning and then fulfillment and preparing to do it all over again. If love ever decides it has come to the end of its infinite learning and growth and to rest on its laurels, then we can be sure that heaven will be somehow beyond the risks of boredom and atrophy, that have and would surely plague and haunt us at this and previous phases of our consciousness.

I want more. You want more. This connects us like nothing else does. Your and my rewards and fulfillments can’t actually be kept to ourselves. My big piece of the pie doesn’t mean a smaller piece for you. If one of us figures it out, it’s actually figured out and plainly available for each of us. There’s no patent office to file your proprietary and personal claim on your fulfillment, or your ‘life hack’. This is because there is on a deeper level, only one of us in this illusory game of the ever appearing separate self.

Love needed the staging of the sovereign individual, the separate self, a birthing of its own image, likeness and stature, billions of times over, to prove its point that the whole show is a love show, including the deepest polarities and ‘evils’ and ‘devils’ we are faced with.

The despairs, the evils and the devils are all wanting nothing more than reconciliation with love. Every trauma and despair within you is a portal to the more that you are self-assigned here to seek.

The separation fears and traumas are all vital to learning and growth. The happinesses turning to more wanting needs to be factored in. You are this big of a being.

I want it all. I want it for me. I want it for you. I want it for love.

That’s my new desire and dream. I’m looking for more connection with more dreamers. Let’s get transparent with one another. What hasn’t worked? How can that inform what’s wanting to take form now?

What new ways of life and love want to express in this reunion side of the separation equation?

Are you willing to get honest and real? Because until you do, while you’re still part of the game, and love’s game and ever worthy, wherever you are, you’re just kind of boring and uninteresting to me. I’m not really drawn to you. On a higher level, I’m in awe of you, that you’re soul would take on such levels of disconnect and unfulfillment to transmute for love in time, but until this soul turn of reunion turns a corner in you, there’s just not a lot of any kind of a personally interesting game to play with you.

We both ever and only have equal worth and intrinsic value, but we’re just not on the same page. The game of separation and difference and polarity is still here, but only really to stage more reunions, and more learning.

I want to be a part of your despairs and your dreams, because when I’m allowed into that, I’m allowed into more of me, more of love itself, more of the divine’s sacred evolution.

Much love,

Raphael 💚

For more on my journey from those 20 years ago, check out Jelelle and I’s book: ‘Under The Bloated Banyan – Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love’ You can read more about it here: soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

I’m also posting some longer writings like this one on Medium.com if you’d like to connect with me there. This post can be found here: https://medium.com/…/if-youre-not-unhappy-you-ll-never…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

A Single Red Rose

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

By Raianna Shai

A single red rose
Emerging from the crisp cold snow
Its delicate warmth
Melting the icy edges

This is the gift of your sweet heart
Bringing spring’s growth
In the middle of winter

This is why you heal
To transform snowflakes
Into the sweet scent of nectar

You are here for a reason
In the midst of pain and tears
To create miracles within and without

Beloved, you are on your way
Even in the darkest of nights
Your soul shines bright to guide you

Beloved, you are almost there
Each moment of separation
Brings you that much closer to reunion

Each part of you is coming home
To reignite the entirety of who you are
And that which cannot be taken away

A single red rose
Is just the beginning
Of your blossoming garden of goodness
Born from your own fallen tears

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

On Masculine Purpose, Mission and Power

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Help a man find purpose, embrace mission and uncover more of his innate power, and he’ll be fulfilled almost anywhere.

Purpose, mission and power are keys to the authentic masculine. Eventually, however, those keys will also disappoint and even fail you as they invite you into ever higher and truer levels of purpose, mission and power.

This masculine solution orientation is in deep contrast to the feminine innate need and desire for intimacy and vulnerability, which are not what men are primarily wired and conditioned for, yet this feminine need is what men need and use to wire up their purpose, mission and power.

The masculine needs and wants intimacy, but in their own way. It’s more about constructing this purpose, mission and power castle. The masculine wants to first feel powerful so that they can then comfortably show up safely for their version of intimacy. The male picture of intimacy is about being appreciated and respected rather than being loved, because appreciation and respect speak to his power, while raw love speaks to his need and vulnerability, which he’s still in process of coming to terms with.

How this looked for me when leaving my teen years behind was all about first ‘getting right with God.’ With many other lifetimes of conditioning intersecting with my conditioning as a child and teen, I was anxious about my eternal salvation. Once that was secured, I needed something else to further ensure my teenage depression and anxiety was a thing of the past.

I needed a mission. I needed a reflection of my power. I needed people to know me so they could appreciate, value and trust me, with a little bit of my idea of intimacy sprinkled in for security.

I left a trade/technical school path behind suddenly in favor of bible school. The world didn’t really need a technician. What they really needed was eternal salvation. I was picking up the master mission – the mission of all missions. But that alone wasn’t addressing an underlying loneliness, which left unaddressed would be sure to derail this mission.

I was ready to be a man, find a woman, pursue her, wait till marriage to have sex, (to maintain God’s guarantee that this gauntlet of relationship wouldn’t fail and decry my power – another power play). I wanted to be convinced that I was unique, special and beyond the everyday man.

In my first marriage and fatherhood, I was ready to give attention to emotional and intimacy issues from a solution based orientation, to keep things on track, to maintain my sense of self and responsibility.

As a young man, somehow not quite achieving my first choice of full time ministry, I embraced self employment as a painting contractor. Decades were spent in finding new and expansive ways to carve out my niche and be rewarded for it, and tie all of that to the purpose of marriage, and to the larger Christian mission. I never had a conscious feeling of depression until my 39th year!

The events of life converged to unravel and get underneath all this shaky purpose, mission and power to help me go to my next places of growth.

I chose my own emotional healing and spiritual growth outside of Christianity, after the Christian mission of personal salvation was done inside of me. This collapsed my entire social world and marriage. I so get why us men are hesitant to take our next ripening steps that life is inviting us into.

From seeing and feeling the world now through my lens of the reality of the Inner Protector and the soul Gatekeeper, I can so see where they both converged on a plan to answer my desperate conscious prayer to escape my self diagnosed teenage inferiority complex. It worked like a charm. Until it didn’t. Ascent and descent. Construction and deconstruction.

There are lessons to be learned and paths to be taken that can only be embraced in the ascent/construction phase of life, as well lessons and paths that can only be experienced in a descent/deconstruction phase. The rise is meant to crest and falter, which isn’t a failure at all, but the soul’s deeper growth urges breaking through the once invulnerable walls of purpose, mission and power.

Living into all of these conscious reflections and questions, with support from the divine, from soul family beloveds, in heart and soul intimacy with a counterpart soul mate, with each part of me from this life and soul aspects from other timelines is where I’m living now.

If my story resonates with yours in some way, I’d love to help you as a man discover these aspects of yourself, their needs and your next places of truer purpose, mission and power. I’d also love to be of assistance to you as a woman come to terms with your beautiful contrasting desires to be wanted to be truly met and felt by a man, your need for masculine vulnerability to underlie their power.

Please reach out via messenger. Our/my sessions page is soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

It’s all a such a good set of problems – really!

Much love,

Raphael

From Orphan to Sacred Union

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The root of all of our ‘disorders’ has to do with being what we experience as being birthed out of the divine. We experience it as being de-parented from our divine and are left with the orphan wound.

Everything that’s seen as wrong with you or I can be traced back to this wound. It’s only by going into this wound as a portal, as an opening (interesting that the literal meaning of the word wound is opening) that our experience of true divine connection is restored.

Why would it all be this way? Why the being birthed out of the divine? Why the veil of forgetting? Why the seeming need for a conscious choice of awakening?

My awareness and ‘answer’ to the above questions has been that it all has to do with the divine not having a way of knowing itself, experiencing itself. What beauty is there in perfection if it cannot be observed, if it cannot be contrasted? Hence the divine created ‘other’ along with duality, both of which didn’t exist before, at least in expression.

But what’s dawning on me now, beyond all of the above understanding (that has infused a lot of my writing up till now) is a deeper feeling sense of the entire point being about communion, if I could use that word, or ‘sacred union’ to try another. This is where the feelings and experiences are likened to a ‘bridal chamber’ where the beloveds are totally in thrall to one another and all the practicalities of life are suspended to make room for this exchange of what amounts to witnessing the divine.

I’ve long thought of this as the reverse of the de-parenting or orphan experience, but what’s also dawning on me now is how this is less of a reverse, and more of a transverse, a step further along the path, rather than a step back. It makes sense that in our conditioning, we would try to retrace our steps, like finding our way out of a jungle, to try and return to source.

But the divine is not lost or seeking to restore something lost, or trying to win a battle between good and evil, or between ‘god’ and ‘devil’.

If this is all the divine’s forward step, then this all sheds a lot of light on what we call our attachments. Our sense of ‘I Am’ is conditioned to our attainments and attachments. To deny the need for a healthy ego, where so many spiritualities have detoured into (in my opinion) is to dissociate from the human experience and journey. A suicide and a ‘deicide’ (the killing of the human and the deity within) in one fell swoop.

It’s the ego that has attachments, and the journey through life, if anything, is a negotiation of one’s attachments, letting in new ones and letting go of old ones. A baby comes with none and the deceased leave with none.

This makes you and I literal expressions of the divine’s own evolution, or better said – I Am The Divine Now.

I was struck this morning by the relationship of the words ‘morph’ and ‘orphan’, where morph means to essentially shapeshift, and orphan means to lose one’s parents. The shapeshift we all underwent was being parented by the divine and then losing experiential awareness of that fact.

Now we’re left with belief based god connections that are largely robbed of genuine feeling experience or if there is some kind of emotional connection, the feelings and experiences are skewed and hijacked by the obvious orphan wound into something unnatural and unbecoming to a grounded human, often rooted in exclusivity or absolution of guilt. There’s something commoditized, scarcified and being sold about it all. But even this darkness and taking advantage of our forgetting is also sourced in the divine’s evolution. No?

If you’ve read this far, first, thank you, and allow me to make this personal.

At 62, and with a lot of change in life experience, roles in family, religion, geography, birth family gains and losses, soul family gains and losses, being challenged with letting in a ton of goodness and even finding myself choking on it all at times, I’m feeling the choking is about this ongoing negotiation in the divine’s own adventure. The choking always seems to be about letting go of an old attachment and a part of me not feeling assured of just what the new attachments will be about, or if we can make those attachments, or actually enjoy them.

I’ve felt a lot of reaction in my digestive system and sleep patterns for years even that feel like an ongoing negotiating of an upgrade to a higher level of consciousness. For so many decades prior, I could eat whatever I wanted to and sleep like a baby, and without so much as a cold in my body, let alone any deeper ailments.

Now, I’m eating far healthier than I ever did, living a stress free life in so many ways, and yet there’s this discomfort in the body, a dis-ease, a loss of the former ease.

If that doesn’t describe a death and a rebirth, I can’t imagine what would! Needing to let go of baked goods for instance, that mainstay from the hearth and heart of Gaia, usually prepared and served by the feminine heart and gifted to the children – that’s one of thee most satisfying of all attachments that I’ve come across. And rooted in so many lifetimes!

Let THAT go?!

Why?

The invitation is to feel the attachment instead of dissociating from it, or pave over it. The guidance I’m getting is that it is in the willingness to actually feel loss, to actually experience loss, (which is the very thing the divine couldn’t do ‘before’) that is what moves us forward in the divine’s birth canal into what hasn’t actually existed before in divinity, what actually leads to the bridal chamber of sacred union with all of life and love. A loss wouldn’t be a loss if there was no attachment to it. You came here to navigate attachments. You came here to have them and to let them go, and make new ones.

This speaks to the morphing going on in the orphan, shapeshifting from one who’s lost and losing (a loser) to one who’s found and gaining, a ‘foundling’ we could call you.

That word just popped out and I had to look it up – get this:

Foundling: A “foundling” refers to an infant or young child who has been abandoned and found with no known parents or guardians. This term is often used to describe a child discovered and taken in by others or an institution, as the child’s origin is unknown.

Wow!

I was raised on those words from the hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ – ‘I once was lost but now am found’. I believe that these words are the divine’s own testimony if you will. You are the divine’s expression right now, as you are, and how your and my ‘attachment disorders’ are currently playing out and through is all just the cutting edge of divine evolution.

Maybe all we’re really in need of is a little grief counseling, when it comes right down to it. I know of no better way to do this than to show up for the part of me who’s in the grief, who’s negotiating the change of conditionings currently playing out in my world. This is literally being in the bridal chamber – a place for sorrow and joy in equal measure!

One more thought in closing today. The word diet literally means ‘way of life’. A change in diet is a change in one’s way of life. All cultures have a cultured diet. It feels like the change in way of life we are being invited into is about all of the ‘foods’ that have sustained us. All of our appetites that are shifting.

I can’t think of anything more fun than being connected with people who are living out this cutting edge of change in their way of life. Challenging? Without a doubt! My greatest so far, but also the most rewarding and where my appetites are!

Bon Apetite!

Love,

Raphael

The mushroom pic is from along the trail from this week’s hike. Strangely, every single one these guys only grew along the very edge of the trail, nowhere else to be seen, seemingly wanting to be noticed. How divine!

The Year of the Sacred “Yes”

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

I woke up into this new year feeling a palpable bittersweet-ness. For me, and perhaps many others, it has been a big year of letting go and then deeply grieving those losses. In a sense it has been a year of saying “no”. To tired patterns, old versions of ourselves, relationships, environments, tensions, and anything that brings a sense of unworthiness or heaviness.

The phase of saying no is SO sacred and tells all the precious parts of you that they are worthy of love and deserve all the desires and needs that live in their hearts. Letting go and deeply feeling the grief of it is something that not many are taught to do. We are taught to let go and forget or hold on for good. But to feel every inch of sadness, relief, confusion, heartbreak, or deep despair that comes up from letting go is so much more meaningful than letting it all sit underneath the surface.

Feeling the depths of these emotions allows more room for all everything you want to say “YES” to. That’s how I feel 2023 will unfold, the year of yes.

Yes to healing
Yes to love
Yes to the divine
Yes to transformational relationships
Yes to inner growth
Yes to opening out the heart again

Saying no to so many things can feel so depleting and disheartening. It’s hard to open yourself up again to the new possibilities that can fill the void that has been left. In the meantime, we can fill the void ourselves with our own inner relationships and inner growth. But soon we can open up again and let in the magic of the new.

Everything we’ve dreamed of is on the horizon just waiting for us to be ready for it. We can hide in the shadows in fear of hurting again, or open our hearts to love and loss knowing that we’ll always find our way back to love. I feel so much honouring of all that has been let go of this year, including an old layer of myself that is ready to move out. And now I welcome in more alchemy, flow and intimacy than ever before! Wishing a REAL New Year to you all ♥️

✨ The pictures attached is an incredible creation by Kasha as a Christmas card this year!✨

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Owning The Dark And The Light Within

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By  Raphael Awen

Men Of The Soulfire.

We’re being asked to take a formidable journey.

This journey is one that most wouldn’t even come near considering.

This journey is to go within and uncover every part or aspect of us that is suppressed or hidden in some way, having been forced to take up residence in the back alleys and dark side streets of our consciousness.

It’s much more appealing to take a journey of some kind that is external to us and that will give awards for the service and care of others.

These aspects of our soul and suppressed parts of the self are not difficult to find. They are becoming more and more outed and visible every day. The difficult part is finding the courage to own that THIS IS YOU.

Giving a homeless person some spare change feels good and acknowledges that ‘were it not for the grace of God, there go I’, but what we’re being invited to feel is something quite different from that.

This homeless person before you is you.

The homeless consciousness that bulges in our cities also lives within each of us. It is the entire declaration of literally one half of our being to be evil, wrong or unwanted in some way.

You don’t go on for too long before that disowned reality takes the life of the host.

Which brings us back to the majority who are not yet capable of taking this inward journey of reclamation, reconciliation, and restoration.

When you are unwilling to bridge your light and your darkness, you go against the grain of your soul. The soul is here to awaken to the duality of light and dark that it finds itself in. When that purpose is thwarted or postponed in this dimension, the soul wants to go back to the light to regroup, and the soul by necessity must take the body with it, as they are the same thing in different expressions.

We see this on maybe the grandest scale yet with the very understandable denial of those that signed up to be a part of the experimental medical trials of the past two years. I feel that this is all a very telling manifestation of the disowned parts of us, collectively and personally that wanted to leave the planet and the human experience sooner than later.

The awakening masses want to out the blame onto the dark evil drug companies who are controlled by dark evil agendas and elites bent on unspeakable evil, again understandably so…

But a deeper understanding is that all of both light and dark, what we went on to be sure and label as good and evil, ALL was birthed out of oneness source.

Love picks up the tab for it all.

Now we see not only WHY but WHO is asking us to take this journey within. It is your soul as divine expression that wants to know itself and be reconciled to itself in the deepest dualities that it created.

The darkness is you, and therein you will find your deepest reconciliation to life and love itself.

There is no other real path for relief. There is no other awakening from the nightmare. The glorious light that you are can only be found and known as you equally embrace the darkness within.

Jelelle Awen and I want to speak to, feel and transmit some more of this reconciliation in today’s livestream. Would you join us if you can? I’ll put the details in the comments below. 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Much love to you and your courageous journey,

~ R ~

SoulFullHeart.org/Soulfire

#raphaelsphotonics

(This pic was taken at a park on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, BC – showing off it’s Lemurian heritage and New Lemurian aspirations)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD