“Generation Me”: Love Yo’self

By Raianna Shai

Okay peeps, let’s jump back on that Millennial train! All aboard the Generation Express!

I’ve been feeling into this topic more and more and even decided to do a bit of research today to get a feel of how others perceive Millennials. The biggest thing I grabbed from this research that ties it all together is the label “Generation Me”. This feels interesting to me because it covers the perceptions of this generation being both narcissistic and open minded. There seems to be an agreement that technology and the Great Recession have had huge impacts on our generation as well.

That felt a bit like writing an essay but part of me (probably my masculine) wanted part of my digestion to be “informed”. Now to feel my feminine intuition and what the plights, struggles and desires are in general for people around my age.

Feeling into this “Generation Me” label, my first thought is that this feels true on some levels. I feel that technology has not changed anything about who we are, but it has ushered in a new wave of self awareness. How we present ourselves has become more relevant because more people can “see” us online rather than just in person. It’s impossible to say whether an entire group of people is self absorbed or just self aware – the important thing is feeling how this “Me” space can become emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Being self aware does not have to be a negative thing. In fact, nothing is truly “negative” when you feel the layers deep down inside. Someone who seems “materialistic” “narcissistic” or “entitled” really just has parts that are scared. Scared of failure, of losing what they love, of not being good enough or being abandoned. Of course, these parts need a mirror to be able to take responsibility for how they affect others, but they also need love and support. They don’t need to feel wrong or less than any other parts, they just need a boundary and a space to feel their fears. This in turn can transmute into more self loving feelings such as confidence, self acceptance, and trust in the Divine.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are people at this age that are seen as tolerant, open-minded, and selfless. These are all beautiful things to be, but where does the self care come into this? The more narcissistic parts of you may seem “bad” compared to these other parts of you, but their gift is that they know how to put themselves first. Which does NOT make you selfish or unable to serve others. Putting your own process first just means that you feel worthy of love and understand that it’s so important to fill up your own love tank before you can fill up others.

Many of my own parts tend to be more like this and I find it so difficult to speak my truth. My parts don’t quite have the self love built up enough to express love in the form of boundaries and truth telling. They can feel like they’re being “mean” or “unfair” when in reality their truths can be beautiful enough to catapult someone into their next phase of bigness. Tolerance sounds great on the surface, but would you rather be tolerated by someone, or truly loved for the bigness you are?

I still have more to feel into this piece on “tolerance” because it is SO huge today, and I want to feel what my deepest truth is around it. My parts want to love everyone fully and completely and I do feel that I love everyone and every soul here with me in this experience. But this does not equate unconditional love. We have conditions in order to be in relationship. My conditions lie in a healthy and loving relationship to emotions and parts, an ongoing process of getting know and love those parts, and a self awareness that continues to lead to heart openings within and without. That doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my heart for absolutely everyone, that is the difference.

Maybe your conditions are just “don’t be a murderer” but it is a condition all the same. These boundaries show your parts that they matter. That they don’t have to be around any energy that makes them feel less than loved. Even contention can be full of love if it continues to move, flow, and be felt deeply. Boundaries do not make you a mean or selfish person, they show others that you hold them in the highest regard. It shows that you know they have the potential for such bigness and that that is all you can truly support for them. Boundaries held with your heart, are love.

So to “Generation Me” I say, whether you have parts that resonate with any of this or not, you are not wrong and your parts are not wrong. Living in self love and truth every single day takes time and work but it is SO worth it. YOU are worth it. Labels do nothing but hold you back from the absolute bigness that your heart really holds. You are not narcissistic, you are not mean, you are not even perfect. You are you. And THAT is perfect.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Acknowledging, Feeling, Honouring And Healing Our Narcissism To Feel Real Compassion

by Kalayna Colibri

Look-Within

There are phases of very necessary self-focus. It’s good to dedicate a lot of time to personal process that has to do with YOU as your number one priority. Some of us don’t do this enough, some of us do it too much, and the balance of giving and taking is somehow very challenging to find and live into. Eventually, these phases of needing to go inward have a healthy sense of self-focus that has more of a balance of where the focus goes and comes from a growing emotional and spiritual maturity as we heal and allow in mirrors that help us map out where to go next. This takes a dedication though and the process of it all has not been shown to most of us before, so there is a lot to discover and rediscover as we go, allowing ourselves to get messy and sometimes trip along the way as the best way to learn.

Within our birth families, many of us have been the ‘black sheep’. Parts of us never felt understood and found ways to rebel. This took an enormous amount of self-care and focus, the best parts of us could conjure at the time, and necessarily so – these self-made nests of bedrooms and cozy family basements became our stages for self-exploration. We needed our forays into writing, artistic explorations, fantasy worlds, and eventually spiritual seeking and finding. We needed these phases of pushing away from the collective, from birth family, maybe even from peers and the church and/or education systems, we were wrapped up in. Parts of us started to refuse to go deeper into it… or decided to go in as deeply as possible, following along with another flavour of rebellion that may have meant following the rules only to one day snap and burn it all away. This took whatever ounces of love we could muster and find in our inner and outer worlds, drawing friendships and romances that were (and are), in the end, reflections of how we ultimately felt (and feel) about ourselves.

In order to push away from what we could feel was very much NOT us, or not what parts of us wanted to be, we had to encase ourselves in some degree of HEALTHY narcissism. This encasement may even have stretched well into our adult years, or, we had parts of us that decided to suddenly flip a switch and go far into the other direction, feeling ourselves as deep empaths that can quite powerfully feel others. Even in this though, is a layer of narcissism. There is a layer here of blaming ‘other’ for how and what you feel. There is a fixation on how ‘you’ are being affected by something or someone or somewhere, without truly feeling how and why others may be affected and that you may or may not have a part to play in this too.

Feeling and realizing this shatters our mirrors held up by our own hand, that only show us our self-made goodness, yet not the deeper, more compassionate goodness within that has true innocence and purity of intention. Our narcissism in our years of needing to rebel, needing to find an ‘us’ that could hold life, needing to navigate a spiritual path that we hope will open out to serving others, has been mostly about us and not actually about serving the world or the people in it. This is HARD to look at and feel. This is probably one of the toughest reflections of ourselves and how we’ve operated in this world to take in. True compassion, in my experience, can’t really come unless we are willing to see this piece inside of our shadows. Feeling all of this also frees us from our victimhood that again parts of us have rightfully needed to hold onto… We cannot truly find our power within unless we are willing to go here.

In terms of our Ascension, it could be that this is one of the biggest pieces for us to look at and heal with deep sobriety and dedication. If there is no interest in doing so, there is something to look at with that too, as it’s natural for our deep knowledge of our goodness to not want to have to go here, yet our ‘goodness’ can be a story that parts of us tell, meanwhile they don’t deeply feel they ARE good, until they have been able to feel the reasons why this is… the reasons why they hold this wounding. There is so much unworthiness within that this process brings us to. There are many layers here and each one brings us closer and closer to our higher hearts, our genuine Christ Consciousness, where we can and do shed tears for others, for the world, and then can bring it back inward in a healthy way too, to digest it all in authentic Divine connection and love, and in genuine soul and heart connection with others too.

Being real about not being able to feel or even care for others in a given moment, actually helps parts of us relax and can bring us almost immediately to a more compassionate place within. It also claims our responsibility and our desire to heal this block to serving and giving love. We have not had adequate modeling of how to truly be compassionate in this world. So much of it has been put on for the sake of self-image, it feels like. This has not been ‘bad’ for us though, we are just entering a phase of being invited deeper into it, to question it and ourselves more, and to really heal what we need to in order to be in LOVE in the truest sense. We already have all of the goodness inside of us that we need so as to truly feel and love this aspect of us that again has served us so well for so many years.

There is so much love on the other side of this mirror. So much love that wants to reach you, to flow to and through you. Love that wants to show itself in all of your relationships, in whatever ways it can. It is a love that is ever-purifying and incredibly deep, if only we can start to let it in and allow it to do its work. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.