Category: Birth Family Relationships

Moving Beyond Sticky Binds To Soul Bonds In Relationships With Self, Family, And Mates

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

 

 

Entering into relationship is to walk through a doorway offering so many possibilities and opportunities for growth. Relationship with self, relationship with a mate, relationship with soul family, relationship with guides and angels and star family…..Relationship has been my most important teacher and I its constant student, always learning and growing in response to the invitation of into-me-I-see that it offers. Exploration of relationship is the exploration of conscious duality  for which we hold a consciousness of being separate and distinctive WHILE we feel that we are also One.

In fourth dimensional consciousness, relationship becomes the ALL important ground for exploration….not just ANY relationships or those that you inherited when you were born or through going to school or through duty and obligation or you drew through personality or persona expressions. But you begin to draw and be drawn to relationships that your SOUL is choosing more and more because of the reflection they offer of YOU, what you can see of yourself and feel of yourself as offered by that person. Your soul chooses consciously; your 3D self can think it has NO choice. Your soul chooses growth; your 3D self wants comfort. Your soul chooses to experience joy; your 3D self will settle for suffering.

The transition from 3D to 4D within the ground of relationships offers so much growth! It can be sticky as the clings and binds are felt, tested, let go of. It can be VERY painful as the soul bravely sees that it is NEVER a victim to any relationship that is is in. The soul accepts ALL relationships as being formed from the choice to experience them or not, in every moment this choice is made, whether consciously or not. The soul spurs on the desire for change, for transformation, for NEW beginnings and holds the fear of the unknown with grace and trust. The soul holds heart space for the aspects of you that need to be felt in their fear, anxiety, depression….ALL are responded to within relationship with you and not resisted or judged as wrong.

The intense energies of PURE love that are washing down on us and the shifts in the consciousness frequency that is available to us as a species to help us ascend ARE impacting our relationships of all kinds. These waves act as water to push up the oil of our woundings and, yet, also our deeper heart and soul truths. The soul cannot live in inauthenticity for long especially with the help of these love waves. The soul WANTS more love, not to settle for crumbs, it wants the full MEAL deal in all areas of relationships in our lives.

These PURE love waves are reminding us of our relationship with Divine Source AND our origins as a fractal from Divine Source. It is a reminder that we ARE love ultimately and all of our relationships can reflect this love that we ARE. If your relationships are not reflecting this but are rather reflecting unworthiness, disconnect, conflict, tension….this can be a sacred and necessary phase for your growth. Yet, also, you can move out of this phase if it feels like it is time to do so. It feels like more and more souls will be choosing to complete and move on from relationships that do not deeply nourish their souls and reflect their growing self worth and embodiment of their soul-higher self expression and healing heart.

The most important relationship, of course, is with yourself and the energies for which you hold and respond to yourself and all aspects of yourself. This can be challenging with unfelt textures and feelings in the 3D emotional pain body, subconsciously buried, that are wanting and needing to be felt, healed, and integrated. The self to self LOVE relationship invites these aspects into reality and does NOT deny them even if there is strong soul access to higher frequencies of love and light. What you resist persists anyway and the emotional pain will be there, waiting, until it is responded to with love. You cannot really avoid or bypass it. And, in the meantime, your outer relationships will probably reflect this unfelt pain in same way or form.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a process, path, way of life, for which digestion, healing, and feeling of these pain body aspects is consciously held within relationship with self, within community, and with your facilitator during sessions. We also weave in karmic and soul healing through portal opening experiences during meditation to discover, feel and heal the binds from other lifetimes with self and with others (especially soul mate romances!) This conscious holding and response path seems to integrate the soul frequencies beautifully with the healing heart tones, creating an unique and beautiful sacred human arising! Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more about a free intro session.

Relationships are KEY in ascension. Being unconscious about them (again with self AND with others) does impact your capacity and ability to experience higher vibrational frequencies. It does impact your experiences of reality. And, beyond that, SO MUCH nourishment and love is there, just waiting, within the possibility dynamics of any relationship based in the soul and healing heart!

To read more about the 3D, 4D, and 5D self related to relationships, I recommend this article that I wrote: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2016/12/23/navigating-relationships-within-transition-from-3d-to-5d-consciousness/

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

 

Love Invites You In

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Love invites you in, to hold, to feel, to BE. It takes the form of your beloved. Your beloved self, your beloved mate, your beloved friends, your beloved children, your beloved family, your beloved guides…..your BE-LOVED by your love and you by theirs.

Love invites you to remember, to embrace, to awaken. It takes the form of your returning. The return to Divine Source, Divine Love, Divine Mother, Divine Father, Divine No-Thing-Ness, Divine Light, Divine Warmth, Divine embrace.

Love invites you to change, to risk, to lead, to serve. It takes the form of your desires. The desires of your heart and your soul that move into a flow that releases the stuck places…. the desires that bring a spark to your heart and to your life.

Love invites you to become and to arise. It takes the form of your essence as Infinite Love expressing as a sacred human ascending, growing, learning, shifting always and in ALL WAYS.

Wishing you MUCH love on this day that celebrates love….Jelelle ❤

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Photo taken (secretly ❤) of my Be-Loved Raphael Awen and I by Raianna Tydeman

How You Allow Others To Treat You Is A Reflection Of You

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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How you allow others to treat you is always a reflection of YOU….others represent aspects of yourself that are in shadow or in light, need love from you, need connection with you. Others can’t do anything to you that you don’t ALLOW to be done. Often it is subconscious (and soul buried) woundings rooted in unworthiness that draw these behaviors, actions, and reflections from others.

When you are loving yourself, ALL aspects, and healing your own worthiness, you no longer NEED these reflections from outside of yourself. You no longer draw them. Your vibrational frequency of self love and worth is too high to draw them to you anymore.

You are not a victim; you are all powerful and all that you experience in your environment or outside of you you have created from inside and agreed to be there.

To feel this and let in this reconnects you with your inner power, inner worth, and inner soul bigness. There is so much love available from within and when you tap into this source, it then overflows to your outside experience with others who reflect the love that you ARE back to you……

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Let Them Arise Anew For You In Relationships: Conversations With Archangel Metatron

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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I am sitting on a step that is part of a circular round of steps, in a place high up in frequency surrounded by golden white light. It feels like high altitude and my consciousness goes in and out, drifting here and there, returning to the denser dimension and content of where my body lies on my bed and back up again.

“Where are we?” I ask Archangel Metatron, who is ‘sitting’ on my right side. He sort-of hover sits, crouches really, sometimes appearing to float above me and then sit next to me again, often in the same moment. This sense of his multi-dimensionality and physicality being in different places at seemingly the same moment helps me to feel how time and space are not real and certainly they are not linear.

“We are in what you have called in your religions, ‘heaven’, although we are even higher than that. As what you’ve conceived of heaven from your 3D perspective is actually the fifth dimensional consciousness realm – or what you call ‘Golden Earth’ that Gaia is now moving into as a planetary consciousness. Where we are now is higher than that. It is what is called the seventh heaven or seventh dimension.”

“I feel joy at that, Metatron, and being in this place. It doesn’t feel as important to figure out what its name is or to locate in some kind of cosmological picture. It just feels good to be here and…..heart opening,” I say, with a smile on my face. This smile is just there when I connect with his energy, even when something emotional is moving through. Often I have tears too, leaking down my cheeks without runny nose, just pure joy and reunion, higher frequency tears. I know this is when I have taken my heart with me to these higher frequencies. This is when my cosmic or Christ consciousness heart is open and letting in at the emotional body level and not just the astral, etheric, or sixth and seventh chakra level.

“Yes, your tears are a sign of your heart lotus opening and coming with you,” He says, ‘reading my thoughts’ as we are communicating not out loud but on multiple levels at once. Sometimes I just see geometric shapes hovering around me or feel huge surges of orange gold energy that feels like the sun move through or we exchange many words spoken in light language or multidimensional language, which I have asked him to help me remember.

“It feels so important to bring our heart consciousness with us as we explore these higher frequencies. I mean this is a repeated message I have received over the years from Ethereal beings. I explored this on my own through the emotional body healing path I was part of and got a big lesson in karmic binds, and deep healing, too through being part of that group and then leaving it when the lesson had been learned. Then, I connected deeply and remembered my soul legacy of Divine Feminine frequency awakenings and the energies of Kuan Yin, Mother Mary, Magdalene, Kali….they all came through to support this message of necessity for heart healing, for emotional body healing.”

I feel the energy then, a light pink and light blue energy of Divine Mother frequency which begins to surround us like a warm bubble. I breathe it in deeply, into all of my chakras…all seven main ones and the five cosmic ones that I am reactivating with Metatron’s help. The Divine Feminine energy invites me always deeper into my heart, into my forgiveness of self, into my acceptance of myself, into my love of others, into service of love.

“Thank you so much for coming here,” I say to Her, the Divine Feminine, the Divine Mother, the heart of my soul, the heart of the Universe, the heart of the Divine.

I feel Her energy move into my heart chakra, which is feeling more and more like a lotus with many petals, each petal symbolizing a karmic journey and a heart chord bond and heart binds too. Each petal opens as it receives more love and healing through more connection from within and from Ethereal Beings and the Divine Feminine energies especially. Metatron adds his masculine, golden orange energy to Hers and I am lit up, heart expanding, tears flowing.

It feels as if the whole Universe is inside of my heart and I am inside of theirs. A deeper sense of the connection between us all accompanies this feeling and surges of Divine masculine and Divine feminine energies dance together, play together. It is this union of masculine and feminine that invites us to journey into our hearts, which initially and in phases feel like a dense pain body to us. But I can feel with the lightening and the enlightenment of the emotional body, the healing of pain in so many layers…….the heart is NOT pain at all and that there is NO pain body, it dissolves as it is felt with love, heals, and transcends into something else.

I feel the tendrils and chords of love and bond that I have with the most beloved souls in my life and the sparkling new energy of those who are entering my soul field in response and resonance to what we are offering with SoulFullHeart.

“Let them arise anew for you,” offers Metatron, with a fresh wave of his energy seeming to rush through my body. I feel a new lighting up of my Merkabah (or fifth dimensional light body and energetic flow vehicle for multidimensional travel) with this and a deeper connection with All. In his offer of arising anew, all those souls that I know and have known and will yet come to know seem to, indeed, come alive and new for me.

I feel a sense of mystery, awe, and invitation about everyone in my life arise in me……even about Raphael – my beloved mate for nine years and in so many other lifetimes. He is still in the same physical form, yet, we have experienced in many moments as we deepen in our awakening and ascension journey together and we continue to go within in profound ways that we become more known to each other on a soul level as we remember our connection. Yet, also, we become more unknown as our soul frequencies awaken and integrate and we literally become ‘new’ Beings.

I take the message of “Let Them Arise Anew For You” and the powerful invitation of feminine and masculine dance that I received deep into my heart and into my day.

And I invite you to feel into this message related to your own life as well. What does it mean to allow someone to arise anew for you in your life? Can the relationship arise anew? Is it based on enough soul resonance and transformative edges to allow for this experience? Is it more karmic binds or soul and heart bonds? As you shift and grow and change, does what you experience as other, outside of you, grow and change with you?

It is a powerful message, offering much invitation for new experiences and perhaps necessary completions and shifts. Whatever transacts it is held with love by love and for love….this you can trust.

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Karma Offers A Mirror, Not A Punishment

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment
By Raphael Awen
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Karma is not punishment.

The universe we live in is not a punitive world, but rather a world of built in cause and effect, inside a deep framework of love and accountability.

That’s a very big difference…

Cause and effect offers us as souls a way to achieve most deeply what we came here to achieve. Our journey as a perceived separate self is just that; a perception of our third dimensional self who has been conditioned to believe this. This admittedly powerful perception is what we use in the domain of cause and effect to grow deeper and deeper towards self-love and other-love, coming to realize in higher self reality that ultimately self and other have no dividing line. The entire point is growth, and the realization of love, not punishment.

Here we come to feel deeply the words of Jesus found in the gospel of Thomas offering a more accurate (then what’s found in the Christian bible) wording of the golden rule, that ‘as you do unto others, so you do unto yourself.’

The whole point of a cause and effect (karma-based) universe is to offer us and all consciousness a mirror in which to see ourselves and in turn to feel ourselves. The effect of our actions upon others cannot be separated from effect upon ourselves. This effect however is a mirror, not a punishment, regardless of how painful the blossom of that karma may be in our personal worlds.

The only reason we could cause harm to another is because we are out of touch with the feeling wave we affected in that ‘other’ with in our actions. Karma offers us a mirrored feeling sense of those actions and their effect. It is in feeling that we are returned to our deepest humanity.

Murder and rape are often cited as the worst crimes that could ever be committed, which may well be true, but let’s look at them in a different way from a soul or higher self perspective. It feels true to me that when we choose to incarnate in our pre-carnational planning and liaison meeting with our soul family and guides that we actually agree to these roles of victim and abuser in this holographic projection we call 3D life as a means to effect and perfect our growth as conscious beings. Many times, we’ve actually willingly traded roles as victim and abuser in other lifetimes.

One of the deepest wirings in the universe is the wiring of free will. And it feels true that this is why we rate murder and rape as the worst crimes because they are such deep infringements upon free will. These crimes violate not only the individual, but the nature of the universe. The universe in this way could be seen as a play ground in which we are all coming to terms with the dimensions and implications of free will.

However, as I mentioned earlier, what if we actually pre-planned these experiences and okayed them as both victim and abuser? Well, then they didn’t actually violate free will did they? It feels like in this way that free will cannot actually be violated in the intelligent universe that we share. Now, however, both the abuser (through karma) and the victim are left to feel the effects of the ‘crime’ and harvest the growth of the drama that they actually wrote the script for and chose to act out together.

Now, there are no actual victims, which brings us to the maybe the next biggest hard-wire of the universe: The power to choose our response to any action. Again, we are faced with our growth and the universes total support of us coming to realize our incredible power and essence.

Let’s let go for a moment of our charged perceptions of these ‘worst’ crimes and consider a much ‘lesser’ crime; a bully child on a playground calling another child a degrading name. Here again we can feel the same playouts of victim and abuser. Both ‘victim’ and ‘abuser’ are indelibly effected by the drama and will be propelled in their growth journey as they digest this experience to return to their essence of love through this perceived deviation outside of love. When the pain of this so called lesser crime is gut wrenchingly fully felt, it doesn’t actually feel any lesser than rape and murder. The degrees we assign crimes are all smoke and mirrors designed from our wounding and unresolved pain to help us avoid feeling.

The whole point of the journey here is the realization that nothing can actually remove anything from love. Love is only all there ever is, while the perception of ‘not-love’ or what we call ‘hate’ only serves to backlight love as the only and ultimate reality.

That’s what got us here so busy learning our way to this re-memberance of what we actually are – all members of the same family of oneness.

This brings us to what we can do to stop the karmic playouts in our lives. The whole point of the karmic wiring in the universe is to get us to simply stop and feel. When we feel and take emotional stock of the pain our actions caused an ‘other’, we feel full circle the deep love of the universe for the other and we feel forgiveness for ourselves. We feel how the pain that we caused someone caused them to doubt (if not disown) the universes essence of complete and total love. Now, there is no more karma playouts because we have fully felt the pain that wants to be felt and balanced. We know we have fully felt the pain and this us completed the karmic cycle when we can feel deep self forgiveness for ourselves. Until deep tears of self forgiveness come to us, we are still enroute to ending a karmic cycle. The universe is patient in this way, and though it may feel almost masochistic to us to have these seemingly endless playouts in our lives, with some of them even extending over many lives, the universe doesn’t see that as too big a price to pay for our embodiment of deep self and other love.

Self love is the actual goal, because love for an other can never exceed the actual love we feel for ourselves, and self love cannot actually be separated from the love we feel for an other, because we are not actually separate.

The other reason self love is the big deal is that we simply cannot give that which we do not possess. Real love is ever only an overflow, never an injunction, or a should.

This journey to self love is the whole point of these drastic dramas and playouts. All of the resulting compensations for our pains and addictions are all a discovery of the infinite love fabric and wavelength frequency vibrational essence of everything.

Everything is a feeling. And when we come to feel the pain we caused ourselves through karma or that we caused an other, we return fully to love.

This takes us deep into the territory of the original soul birth wound that lives in each of us – a feeling of being separated from God or Divine Source. And actually, we all were individuated (a kind of separation) out from God, but the entire point of individuated life is for us, through feeling, to come to recognize ourselves as the God essence that we are and always were. We even come to forgive Divine Source for individuating itself in its quest to know itself through us and our perceived separate experience.

It is in this way that karma offers us feeling as the only way to true healing. In SoulFullHeart, we explore karmic binds and woundings through process ground of your 3D pain body and soul field. During sessions, the facilitator acts as a sort of confessor and guide to empower your self forgiveness, letting go, and healing.

 Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Feeling Our Relationships And Our Ascension

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

 

Starting in recent weeks, every night has carried with it an intensity in my heart, energetic field and body. I feel as if I am surrounded. I dream very intense, very real-feeling dreams. I also feel energies moving up and down my body, both on the inside and outside. My sleep is often interrupted as these energies move through and there is a feeling of my bedroom being very full of beings, energetics, shapes, colours, and the imprints of the dreams I’ve been having that feel more like walking something out than anything intangible. I don’t always remember every detail, but I do keep the feeling of it all within me, and quite often, as I do right now, I feel “cleaned out” by morning somehow.

I remember having a dream last night that felt personal and global. I was moving through a romantic relationship that wasn’t deep but for part of me was “enough” simply because he gave me “just” enough attention and affection. I was in the process of leaving the bond because I had plans to move somewhere far away and we knew we wouldn’t be able to continue our relationship. At the last minute though, I wanted to change my mind about leaving, even though my gut and heart both said that I actually wasn’t deeply satisfied by this bond anyways and was actually ready to move on from it. It felt as if I was trying to deny my destiny. When I tried to tell him about changing my mind and wanting to stay with him, he had already detached from me and I was already fading from his life and awareness. Just before I woke up I had been trying desperately to get his attention again. This feels like a pattern I’ve lived out in a few relationships but also, it feels like this is what is happening or about to happen in relationships of all kinds. We are entering a time during our ascension as a species, where relationships of all kinds will be challenged. Letting go with full hearts and appreciation for what was is what’s being asked of us now even as we also learn to be with ourselves in the grief and pain of separation. We can never truly be separate and whatever is real between souls and hearts cannot disappear forever, but not everyone or everything will be able to come with us on our very personal, yet somehow deeply connected, journeys of healing Ascension.

Relationships are a major thing for us as humans. We are meant to be social and for many of us, our hearts consciously long for community and of course, deep romantic love. Each and every tie we have to a person or even a habit or animal or object is something to feel into now as we continue our process of purification and remembering who we really are as part of Infinite Love. There is no end point to the Ascension journey but there seem to be specific markers that guide our way. Feeling any restlessness or doubt in our relationships or maybe even body symptoms when we are around certain people are very strong indicators that we should consider reevaluating and feeling what it is we really want to experience inside relationship with others. Many of us will be challenged with having to move through layers of doubts around our own self-worth and even the beauty of our essence. Letting these doubts surface and making space to feel them is sacred as it aids us in our forward movements that bring us healing and help us move out of 3D consciousness.

There is an invitation that I feel with softness in my heart as I bring this to you. The shifting times we are living in do not promise an easy ride, though they do want us to feel where the letting go is most difficult for us. It often is not a simple process, as I’ve experienced myself. The more aligned we become in relationship to ourselves, however, the easier it is to see and feel what a truly sacred relationship is and we can begin to draw those who are our true soul family and soul mates. Nothing anchors our healing and ascension more than having loving, non-codependent support around us.

 

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Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Navigating Relationships During Awakening (Transition From 3D to 5D Consciousness)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Raphael and Jelelle Awen

You are awakening and asking questions about yourself, your soul purpose, what you really want in and from relationships. You are looking around with an opening heart and curious soul, wondering if the people currently in your life can come along. You start testing the grounds of these relationships to see if they sustain or if they run out of room to move. You may find that others, even beloveds, are not awakening in the same way that you are. You begin to realize that their journey is different from yours.

This is led by your fourth dimensional (4D) awakening self and can be a very painful and challenging process for your 3D self as what was previously nourishing is no longer experienced in the same way. Your needs are changing as you are changing and awakening. You go through a push-pull with others, perhaps even tugging on them to come with you. Perhaps they tug on you to remain the same. Yet, at some point, you probably realize that you cannot change them, only invite them to come along. And if they don’t, you reach a place where you have to let go and trust the deeper love that exists at the core of all relationships. In the core is Oneness and none of us can truly be separate from each other, even if we choose not to be in relationship transaction together.

As your consciousness shifts to higher vibrational frequencies of love, the type of relationships that you are drawn to and that you draw changes. Your 3D self sought comfort, while your awakening self (4D) seeks challenge and growth in relationships. Your 5D self or higher self as it becomes more embodied within you seeks for union while remaining an individual soul spark of consciousness.

Romantic relationships shift greatly too. Perhaps your heart is still hurting from past wounds and hurt experiences within relationships where your 3D self was most in ‘charge’. Your relationships were more about healing karmic binds from other lifetimes (that are still happening) then about transaction of love frequencies in the moment. You are still feeling the energetic binds and cords that run between you and your former partner(s). Feeling leads to healing, mourning what was and what couldn’t be and what isn’t enough, letting go of the possibilities in order to let in what your awakening self really wants and needs.

As you transition into fourth dimensional consciousness and awakening, it begins to become a priority to heal yourself, to love yourself, to mate with yourself first and foremost. You woo yourself, date yourself, give yourself what your previous partners couldn’t. You connect with the aspects of you that need parental love, your inner child, your inner teenager. You find and draw resources outside of yourself to help with this healing of self. You find and draw a soul family community to help with this healing and loving of self, such as what we offer in SoulFullHeart. You discover union within, the masculine and feminine inside, and heal the drifts and splits that exist there.

On this self loving journey, you may then draw a new mateship. This mateship is based on heart, soul, and body connection. This mateship feels both familiar and also is stunning in the new avenues and vistas that it opens up in you. You are creating inner safety first and foremost, so it feels safer to be vulnerable in this new bond. You are able to express your sexuality more fully as you are opening up sexuality inside of yourself and feeling more and more your own desirability.

The biggest shift is how you feel your soul engaging in the bond. There is a higher ceiling and higher context for the relationship, less content and conflict. It is important to you to be a sovereign individual and it is important to be in union, both. You can more hold this seeming paradox inside of yourself and within the relationship. Your partner is also committed to their own self healing, to their own awakening process, to ascension. Together, you unite and yet, also, you are individuals that need and claim your space for yourselves and your own processes.

As you move into 5D consciousness, your relationships deepen and you feel at a fundamental level how everyone is YOU and YOU are them. Previous triggers and reactions, competitive feelings or comparisons are dropped. You are in the moment in your relationships and you are current with whatever reactions or feelings may still come up from parts of you. You feel moved by the beauty that is every sacred human, wherever their ‘level’ of consciousness is. You are discerning about who you want to be in relationship with and probably have fewer intimates than many acquaintances. You are discerning about the energies that you take in and are involved with, inviting others to be in your higher vibrational frequency with you rather than lower yours to make them comfortable. And your heart and soul are a beacon drawing others to you as you step into your soul bigness and your gift expression and the reason that you came here this life. As you embody your higher self (5D) more and more, you step into serving love as your highest purpose and are not attached to how it manifests and with whom, even as you love deeply and fully in every moment.

This may feel ideal, what I am offering here, yet this has been my experience with Raphael, and within SoulFullHeart community. It is also the experience of a growing number of others too. This really feels like what we our capacity is to inhabit as sacred humans within relationship as an expression of the Infinite Love that we ARE. We are moving from separation into union. We are moving from feeling apart to feeling joined. We are moving from relationships formed by wounds to relationships formed by health, a deeper resonance, and soul connection.

This could be your journey or perhaps it already is, and a sacred one it IS with every experience along the way a blessed one offering much teaching and much learning. Offering much, much LOVE to hold and guide it ALL.

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

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by Jelelle Awen

I cannot make you grow with me, only invite you to come along………’Shrinking to fit’ in relationships with others is one of the biggest ways that we cap our soul bigness and keep our hearts more closed related to transacting intimate love with ourselves, others, and the Divine. These shrinking dynamic happens when parts of us conform to others expectations, ideas, and roles about who we are rather than being who we really are. In the SoulFullHeart process, we see parts of us as subpersonalities that form when traumas and hurts happen that are not digested in the moment and so become clogged and blocked energy patterns and behaviors.

Instead of shrinking to fit to maintain the ‘old’ and comfortable ground of transaction, we begin to stretch and challenge that ground as we awaken and heal into more expression of our authentic self.

Real and authentic connection between people cannot be lost, it only deepens and is revealed with healthy shifts and changes in each person. If it doesn’t deepen yet instead completes, then the connection was based in more grounds of compensation, codependence, and emotional binds than it was in resonance, interdependence and healthy bonds.

This can be a very painful process of completion with much opportunity to feel the deeper aspects of ourselves that were being mirrored and projected in the relationship onto the other person or people. Held with love and an open heart, the process can be very transformational with a possibility of new openings in the future in the relationship.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Letting Go With Love: Healing Codependency Between Fathers And Daughters

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

By Christopher Tydeman

Throughout the SoulFullHeart healing/growth process, much is felt into around our relationship to ourselves (i.e. our parts), our birth parents, our friends, and our mates.  We have written extensively about those in this blog.  The one relationship we have not written much about is our relationship to our children.

Each combination of relationship (mother to son, father to daughter, etc.) has their own specific dynamic.  When our children arrive in this world, both past and current life agreements we subconsciously made with them begin their construction and playout.  Our experiences with our birth parents, our societal/religious conditionings, and our past life woundings, all coalesce to shape the dance between parent and child.

Through the formative years, parts of us invest a lot of energy in protecting and guiding our offspring.  They represent something to us.  Our greatest hope and our biggest fears.  We project so much onto them that the mere thought of their “failure” or lack of well-being is combated with a barrage of care-taking and/or excessive demands.  To lose them physically or emotionally feels like a fate worse than our own death to a part of us.

In this fused state, it is hard to conceive that our children have their own soul trajectory.  Their own needs and experiences they must have on their individual journey.  This becomes increasingly clear the older they get.  An emotionally healthy and awakened relationship would naturally find its completion around 18.  This doesn’t necessarily suggest we would never cross paths again someday or consciously avoid seeing each other.  It would just be the embarking of their adult journey, taking with them all the love they received in their youth.

But, we collectively are not in a healthy emotional state.  Our children are still children at 18 because we choose for them to be that way.  Our needs and inadequacies took precedent over their real growth.  They are stunted.  Sure, they may run a Fortune 500 company, but their emotional immaturity causes them to treat others unjustly, take advantage to satiate their greed, or run a company into the ground because of issues of control.  Or they may live a “normal” life with a spouse, their own children, a stable job, and a nice house.  But internally they are dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

As a young man, my father would tell me, “I don’t give a shit what you do for a living, as long as you are happy.”  My mother made it her mission to see me graduate college to fulfill something she desired in her own life and as a symbol of what was considered “successful”.  In each case, it was more about them than it was about me.

I carried this with me into the birth of my own daughter.  My fears and hopes were transferred onto her.  All a part of me felt I couldn’t be, hoped that she could.  But to be that meant her breaking away, so another part kept her small so she wouldn’t.  “Be big! No, be small!” Was the energy of my parenting.  A dichotomous push-pull.

As I progressed through my eventual healing, I had to draw boundaries with those that I had an unhealthy bond with.  This included family, friends, and later a mate.  But the one who got the “pass” was my own child.  She had her own vision for her life and that didn’t include healing toward emotional and spiritual awakening.  The others in my life who weren’t ready I said goodbye to, but a part of me could not accept that with my daughter.

Fast forward a couple of years later.  I have found myself in the belly of my care-taking.  Letting go of my need to be needed.  Feeling and seeing the impending industrial imperial implosion.  The ensuing chaos and violence, both physical and emotional.  I have entered into the Brave New World.  I can talk about it until I am blue in the face, but that won’t matter if someone is not able or willing to feel it.  It becomes a soul choice.  A personal decision.  To tug or force someone to get them to come along serves neither me nor them.  There is only one choice…let go.

To say goodbye to my daughter is by far the most difficult thing I have had to do.  It was a choice not made overnight.  It has been, as with all other difficult moments, a process.  Gut-wrenching and tear laden.  To continue a relationship with someone whose path is divergent to mine is not self-loving.  It is also enabling that person to stay in denial and smallness.  I love my daughter too much for her to be in either.  But more importantly, I love myself too much to continue to be seen as less than what I am, even if it is my own child.

As I walked away from her, tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, I could feel the Divine with me and with her.  Mother tells me,

“You make choices based in Love, you enter Love’s eternal grace.  Your kingly act of courage is the greatest gift to your daughter, to yourself, and the world at large.  There is no goodbye, for those souls meant to be together will remain so in heart.”

In that moment, I felt trust.  A trust that she will find her way in her own time, with her own choices.  A part of me is letting go of protecting her and trying to “save” her.  I will always have the desire for her to be a part of our SoulFullHeart community.  She has VIP status.  BUT, it is with her sovereign choice and my needs being met, that that can happen.  Until then I will hold her close to my heart as I prepare for the next phase of my soul’s journey.

 Christopher Tydeman is an apprentice SoulFullHeart Teacher. Visit soulfullheart.wix.com/sanctuary for more information about staying at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and virtual sessions.

30 Days With My Parts: Day 17 – Mother’s True Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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Day 17

Your heart is so full of life. It doesn’t need to be sequestered into a mold of someone else’s design.  Let your heart open into the love that is all around you.  You are done working, my son.  You are officially retired from that old life, those old words.  You are a part of something bigger than you.  Lean into it.  That is real love.

Christopher:  Good morning, Mother.  I need to speak with you.

Mother:  What is in your heart, my son?

C:  I feel like I am a bit disconnected in the moment.

M:  Disconnected from what Christopher?

C:  You, me, the world.  I needed some time with you to get me back in my heart.  I have been in my head a lot lately with all the shifts.  A part of me wanting to help ease this transition by getting as much info as possible so there are no surprises or heartbreaking mistakes that could have been avoided.  Then I feel him up when it comes to SoulFullHeart and he stresses on who I should be journaling with so I can get the blog out.  This all just feels so centered in my head and I am not that anymore, Mother.

M:  I know you have been with Simon, Christopher.  I have felt you with him.  Would you like me to feel him?

C:  Yes, please, Mother.  I would like that.

M:  Good morning, my sweet Simon.  What is in your heart, my son?

Simon:  Anxiety.  Not as much as I used to have.  I have let go of quite a bit.  But when something comes up where there is a “commitment” or “expectation” I get hypervigilant to make sure it is taken care of.

M:  I feel this has to do with the blog.  You know these are words you project onto it, right Simon?

S:  Yes, Mother.  I do.

M:  There is no shame in that, Simon.  You have a desire to help Christopher, but it does take away the sacredness of the blog.  It is not something to be “done”.  It is to be felt.  I will recommend to Christopher to check in with you every morning to feel you before writing the blog.

S:  Okay.  I don’t want to be the reason he is disconnected from his heart.

M:  You don’t have to take that on Simon.  You just need to be felt by Christopher.  You have no other obligation or duties.  This is not your responsibility any more.  How does that feel when I say that?

S:  It is weird.  I am so used to taking responsibility.  Of being in control to make sure everything turns out okay.

M:  Do you like how that feels?

S:  Not really.  It feels like a burden.  Geez, I am starting to sound like Nathaniel.

M:  What is it that prevents you from letting go?

S:  I feel like I need the kudos of doing a good job.  I guess I ultimately fear I won’t be loved.

M:  Do you really believe you won’t be loved by Christopher and others?

S:  Ugh!  I don’t know Mother!  I am so confused.  I want to let go but I can’t.  I know Christopher loves me.  He feels me everyday.  Why can’t I just let that be enough?  I am so tired of this Mother.  I need help.

M:  You just need love, Simon.  What are your needs?

S:  I want to stop staring at this computer screen every morning!  It just makes me feel like I am in work mode.  Like I turn into a computer when I use a computer.  I don’t want to feel like we HAVE to write a blog every day.  I know I put that on myself, old habits die hard.

M:  If that is what you need Simon, then so be it.  You are more important than a blog, my love.  As is Christopher, Nathaniel, Angela, and Peter.  If you feel it would help you to stop or postpone or take a day off of it, then let Christopher know.

S:  Really?  Won’t that make me undisciplined or lazy?

M:  Who would make you feel that?  Whose words are those?

S:  Um…I don’t know.  Mine, I guess.

M:  It is what you grew up with, Simon.  I want you to set those on fire!  Right now.

S:  You are scaring me a little, Mother.

M:  This is me loving you, Simon.  My love is gentle, but it is also passionate.  I love you so much that my heart bleeds when I hear those words that have been put into your heart.  You are a beautifully wonderful being.  You are far from undisciplined and lazy.  Were you undisciplined and lazy when you did all those hard jobs to support your family?

S:  No, Mother.

M:  Were you undisciplined and lazy when you went back to school to get a teaching credential?

S:  No, Mother.

M:  Were you undisciplined and lazy when you gave up your life so Christopher could grow into his?

S: No, Mother.

M:  There is my sweet Simon.  Your tears are so beautiful.  I love you so much.  As does Christopher and Jillian and Wayne and Kathleen.  You don’t need to prove a thing to anyone anymore, Simon.  You are free to just be.  Would you let me hold you in my arms, my love?

S: Yes, Mother.

…….

…….

M:  Your heart is so full of life, Simon.  It doesn’t need to be sequestered into a mold of someone else’s design.  Let your heart open into the love that is all around you.  You are done working, my son.  You are officially retired from that old life, those old words.  You are a part of something bigger than you.  You have always wanted that, Simon.  I remember those words coming from you.  Lean into that, Simon.  Lean into me, into Christopher, into your SoulFullHeart family.  That is real love.

S:  Thank you so much Mother.  I haven’t cried like that in a while.  I needed that.  I am sorry I couldn’t let your love in, Christopher.

Christopher:  Oh, Simon.  I know you were letting it in.  Otherwise, I don’t think you would have let in Mother’s.  I feel your heart with mine right now and it feels real good.

S:  Yes, it does.  I love you, Christopher.

C:  I love you too, Simon.  You are my best man and my co-pilot.

S:  I get a tux, too?

C:  Oh, yeah.  The ladies are going to have to take a number.

S:  I like the sound of that, actually.  ; )

C:  Good!  Me too!

     Thank you so much, Mother.  I learned a great deal from you about how to truly love someone.  I am grateful.

M:   You are so very welcome, my dear Christopher.  You are doing a very noble and courageous thing with your parts.  This is not easy to do and you are making it look easy.

C:  Wow.  Thank you.  It doesn’t feel like it most of the time.  I couldn’t do it without you or SoulFullHeart.

M:  You weren’t meant to.  Now go enjoy the sun, my two beautiful sons.  Specially created just for you.  ; )

C:  You’re the best.  : )

 My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.