Tag: Abundance

Moving Beyond Scarcity To Embrace Infinite Love Abundance

Published on by Jelelle Awen6 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
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Why does it feel to you as if love is scarce sometimes? As if there is only a finite amount of it in the world? A limited flow that parts of you then feel you have to guard and protect? To preserve and save and put away?
 
The 3D world offers to you that love is scarce and finite and on limited supply. Your birth family conditioning supports this messaging and programming. You experience as a child how no one around you seems to be flowing in love. No one seems to be living in abundant love. No one seems to be willing to share it very much, yet only in drips and drabs. Only in crumbs that they seem to reluctantly give in moments where it feels safe to do so.
 
3D religions only offer love if you are free from sin, if you ‘follow the rules’ of their punitive God, if you conform to the social agreements that they offer, if you buy into the idea that love is about sacrifice. This scarcity-based God frowns at you, pushes you away, and not much love at all seems to come from this source as mostly what you feel then is unworthy to receive what even IS offered.
 
The 3D world prioritizes not the abundant sharing of love in all forms (including money), but rather energies of getting and keeping; of earning and buying; of owning and having. Sharing only seems to happen in moments of open heartedness, between souls that trust each other, from one child to another when there is still innocence alive in them.
 
3D relationships run on the currency of giving to receive, on codependence, on needing each other to fulfill certain roles, on duty and obligation. They survive often on the fumes of promises of love; on the echoes of love’s exchange in moments when it can; on the wounded projection of self onto other that keeps it all stumbling and staggering along somehow. These relationships exist often on the ground of suffering and on push-pull dynamics that keep this suffering in place.
 
You’ve been offered scarcity in ALL these areas by a world that has run on love’s lack rather than on its abundance. But, this is not the TRUTH of what is POSSIBLE about love’s flow.
 
The TRUTH is that every BEing IS Infinite Love. That the Divine is Infinite Love. That energy flow IS sourced in Infinite Love.
 
Serving love from this flow of Infinite Love that you already ARE offers no limits on what can be healed and transformed by THIS love flow. Being in relationships in this Infinite Love flow allows them to arise anew, offering NEW grounds of connection and intimacy in every moment. Experiencing the Divine in accepting, loving, nonjudgemental frequencies as a reflection of this Infinite Love flow heals the soul experiences of It being anything less than THIS.
 
You are remembering this more and more as you decondition from what you have been taught and sold in 3D consciousness. You are experiencing this as you let this abundant love flow that is available in ALL moments into your life. You are BEcoming this as you separate from the parts of you that have received this scarcity conditioning and embodying your essence which kNOWs and IS this abundant love flow. You are BEing this TRUTH of the Infinite supply of Love as you overflow AS this with yourself, others, and the Divine more and more.
 
~
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

While There Are Only A Few Seeds In An Apple, There Are An INFINITE Number Of Apples In A Seed!

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

How we relate to money is one of the biggest limitations to our emotional and spiritual awakening, and healing process. It seems money holds some of our densest limiting convictions about reality. Sayings like ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ and ‘Don’t quit your day job’ abound as if they hold deep truths at some fundamental level in life that you must live within, or perish. This is living from the picture of the limited number of seeds in the apple.

How we relate to money however can also be one of our greatest awakenings as we recognize it for the deep grist of our journey into wholeness that it can be. If the universe is a universe of Infinite Love and if money is simply LOVE IN MOTION, then there is actually no shortage of what we call money. Not only is there no shortage of money, but there is such an indescribable superabundance of money that we need a new digestive system in order to let in that abundance. This is living from the picture of the infinite number of apples in a single seed.

Feel the part of you who holds deep conditioning around the programming of lack. Feel the part of you who lives in fear of never getting free from the tyranny of lack, and never being free to offer and live from your deepest soul gifts that you have to give the world. Let these fears be transmuted in a process of feeling and healing your way to new ways of relating to money (love) for the growth ground that it wants to be. Money may now move from being one of your greatest limitations to one of your greatest liberations.

Listen here for a recent Group Call offering a ‘profoundly different than anything you’ve ever imagined before’ picture of a SoulFullHeart way of relating to money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSevFxW6dpU&t=1s

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Magical Perspective Of Our Metaspaces

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Leena Colibri

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Waves of magical realizations cascade over me as I learn to breathe them in, feeling gratitude wash away all tendencies towards desperation for this and that to change or “finally be here”. This arises along with feelings of tension  around whether or not I can maintain this state, as the conditioning and learned ability to downplay all that is good about my life is still moving and healing.

My life, as it is right now, is something I have the desire to keep letting in, because as I do that, not only do I get to live more fully in every moment and perhaps not ever need to experience “nostalgia” again, but it also gives me the gift of being able to see how far I’ve come. Phew. Going to breathe that one in for a moment… wow. Everything in life changes and shifts so much while we engage in our own healing. There have been many choices I’ve needed to make to get here, some very tough ones and some that came rather easily, and without being willing to see and feel what it is that I truly need and desire, perhaps I couldn’t have risen to my next waves of alchemy and co-creation. Because I have dedicated much energy to going inward, I now get to cultivate a metaspace and vista inside that I get to see myself and my life from.

There is so much that finding a metaspace inside of ourselves can offer us, especially around being able to take a step back and view our lives from a different perspective – one that is not so steeped in any in-the-moment tensions (though the tensions may still be there to some degree, just not so fused to us). What’s cool about these metaspaces is that when we energize our desire for them enough through meditation and taking time to ourselves, they seem to start to happen on their own, offering us organic moments of ecstatic joy and even bliss as we see and let in the true magic of our lives. This is what I feel now as I feel some surprise at becoming enveloped in these waves of love and appreciation for my life right now.

In addition to this, I feel awash on the shores of magical humanity in the moment… sitting at a computer that does these magical things that WE created it to do! Or rather perhaps I should say that we co-created it with beings and forces that we cannot always see but we definitely perceive to different degrees and at different levels! Woah! There is so much that we co-create every single day, in every single moment.

I also feel magic as I am sitting in my little apartment here in Mexico, feeling its size and set up as something not unlike a dream fort I would have loved to have as a child, complete with tiny kitchen and nesty, cozy bed! Of course I also have desires for improving my space and even for it to be in a different location, yet there is so much I am continuing to let in about the magic of where I am, who I am and what I have NOW. This life chapter I’m in is one I would only have dreamed of even a couple of years ago. Now I get to live into it.

I have noticed that there seems to be a conditioned response that we have to magic and even gratitude. I would just speak for myself, but I do feel there is a collective piece here too… there is always something to pick apart about every gift, material or ethereal, we are given. There is always a way to dissect and dismiss. Yet, too, there is always a way to let in and to feel these tendencies as they come up at the same time, letting the water of love bring up the oil of what has been in shadow inside. I’m not convinced this is something we can “master” exactly, but it does feel like a skill and awareness we can develop through deep care and curiosity towards ourselves. It is what helps us create our metaspaces, where we can see what’s going on in front of and within us in a new way.

We have to get out of ourselves from time to time. If this is difficult for you to do, try to find a lookout point in your physical reality. Take a hike up a mountain where you know there’s a view, or if there’s any way at all to get to the highest point in your town, try doing that. I find that looking downward and outward from a higher place physically is such a powerful way to let in what’s really important to me and why, and what I may need to change in order to feel myself in a higher frequency more often. You sometimes hear about people who have gone on long hikes or pilgrimages in nature to find an answer to their questions about their lives. This is a process that is so worth it and you do find the answers and the magical realizations that you seek, if you become present enough to let them in – something that being close to nature will surely offer you plenty of support for doing.

The times we are living in call us to live with more love in our hearts. We are being asked to cultivate our purposes and join together somehow, even while still having our individuation and personal time. And, in this call, we are being supported to sort through who we are and are not, even if the answer to this question is only valid for the next moment, as that claim still helps us move on to our next place of BEing and healing. There are many rivers to cross, yes. There are many streams we can each follow, yes. And there is always, always so much magic and Divine love to let in while we do so. ❤

With love from my metaspace to yours,

Leena

 

***

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Being At The Saturation Point Of Love

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment
By Jelelle Awen
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Are you at your saturation point? This is the point at which love has saturated your heart and your soul enough that you tip over into a brand NEW life and experience of life. This kind of love comes from the purity of a healing heart, from the liberating frequencies of a healing soul, from the groundedness of a healing body. This love is beyond lust and beyond duty. This love is risky and catalytic.
 
You have taken this love in from resources outside of yourself that you have drawn to you. You have dipped into the pool of this love inside of your own heart by going within during your inner journeys. You have experienced this love with Angels, spirit guides, Divine representatives, star beings. You have immersed yourself often in the waters of this love in whatever forms you could find and draw to you.
 
Before the saturation point, what has previously NOT been from this love has still been able to be digested by you somehow. It has been familiar and comfortable to parts of you, your 3D self, and allowed to still exist in your life. It has needed to be there…..whatever it is….relationships, jobs, food choices, etc. It has needed to be there until your heart saturation point is too high and then that which is lower in vibrational frequency can no longer be digested by you.
 
This indigestion phase, this time of feeling what no longer works and CAN no longer be in your life, can be difficult and, at times, painful. The parts of you that are attached can bring up protest and resistance and fear. You may feel like you want to ‘go back’ to how you used to be and maybe, in some ways, you do and for moments.
 
Yet, at the saturation point, you are now more motivated by love than you are by suffering. You want more love. You feel if love is in the ground of each person you relate with and if they are saturated too, then love can flow. Often, a person from your ‘old’ life wants you to stay as you were. You may make the difficult choice of needing space from them while you still love them, while your higher selves can still have a transaction ground together. Taking space is a mercy for them too as your tugging on them in the past to ‘get it’ or ‘come along’ relaxes and they can arise and claim their sovereign path.
 
At the saturation point, you can no longer ‘shrink’ to fit any of the relationships in your life, the roles in your life, the duties in your life, the energies or frequencies that are NOT you in your soul and heart essence. Shrinking offers you only crumbs when you want MORE of the full meal that love offers.
 
The saturation point invites you to make CHANGES….changes in your exterior world to support the love that you feel inside and want more of. It invites you to be bold, to JUMP IN, to Let Go and Let GOD…..what you may be clinging to out of security becomes an anchor and you release it to free up your energy.
 
The saturation point invites you into the unknown, trusting that whatever comes next is from love. Daring to risk, daring to share, daring to be vulnerable, daring to be uncomfortable, and daring to love. Are you at the saturation point because, if you are, the time is NOW.
 
If you are still filling up, needing more love to get there and be there…..find this love, let this love in inside of yourself, draw the relationships and community and people who will transact this love with you. Fill up until you reach the saturation point for which love overcomes fear and re-union with your essence is yours.
Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Money As An Exchange Of Love Energy: Conversations With Archangel Metatron

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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“Money is energy. It is an exchange of energy and, in another way, it does not exist and is only as real as the perception that you project upon it and the way that you relate with it. It is not the root of all evil as fear of love is what roots in evil or darker frequencies ,” says Archangel Metatron in response to a question I asked him about the higher consciousness definition of money. I am letting into my field higher guidance and reflection from him about money as we are hosting a group call and guided meditation about it this Saturday, February 4th at 4:44pm CST.

 

“Yes, that has been my sense of money for many years,” I answer, smiling at him.
 
He smiles back at me and continues, “Third dimensional reality – with its dualistic frequencies of separation and lack – has projected these feeling tones onto money. To the 3D self, the perceived lack or abundance of money directly relates to the often subconscious sense of this inside of themselves.”
 
“When we feel ‘tight’ or ‘lacking’ about money, it represents feelings of scarcity about love in our lives….”
 
“Yes, Jelelle. When there is an inner sense of abundant flow of love with yourself, with Divine Source, with others….then money is felt to be abundant, no matter how much of it there actually IS in the bank account.”
 
I digest this as a deeper truth in the moment even though this has been a process ground of expansion for me over the years and in serving others, including coaching small business clients on how to think about the financial area of their businesses.
 
“In my experience and experience guiding others, the 3D self especially uses the ‘earning of money’ to stay in suffering loops, especially around putting their energy and focus into jobs that aren’t connected to their passion purpose or soul purpose work,” I say. “This can be a transitional phase for people…to move out of doing a job just for the money to receiving their livelihood from the expression of their deepest soul passion. It has been a transition for my mate Raphael and I that has taken many years. Should I tell that story?”
 
“Yes, please, Jelelle, I feel it would be helpful,” says Metatron, sending a wave of golden love my way. I take his love into my heart, feeling it infuse my ‘story’ with new frequencies of relevance and gratitude.
 
“I worked an ‘office job’ for many years to support my daughter and myself. There was usually some connection to my passion purpose in these jobs: as a medical assistant in a cancer center, as an editor and reporter for a small business journal, as a coach and manager for small business clients. Each job seemed to bring me a step closer to the embracement of my soul gift expression. As I started really focusing on my emotional healing and spiritual awakening process, I eventually became a facilitator of others, holding space for their exploration, while earning money to do this. I left the office job and ‘steady paycheck’ environment ten years ago and have not returned to it.”
 
“Raphael ran a painting contracting business in the Vancouver area for thirty years and we both lived off of the income from that until a few years ago when we left our client base there to move to Mexico. Raphael went through many transitions around the business, which he will tell in his own story, I’m sure, yet there was always an open and conscious question for us about if our deepest soul purpose work could provide the means of our livelihood rather than the painting business. We were serving others through SoulFullHeart, earning money through space holding and selling our books, yet, also we made sometimes difficult choices in our lifestyle to support this transition. We moved into an RV, sold almost everything we owned twice, declared bankruptcy, and left Canada for Mexico where the cost of living is much less and you can grow your own food year-round.”
 
Metatron nods at me to continue, knowing that I am not one prone to ‘telling my story’ as it often doesn’t feel real to me anymore and may not have the juice that the present moment does.
 
“We have lived very simply since being here in Mexico. We lived off of the last of the painting money savings (including using it to buy a piece of land on an off-grid ranch where we can retreat to if needed) until it ran out. Then, Sequoia Heartman and Leena Colibri began to earn money teaching English online. Their earnings, in addition to what we bring in through sessions, books, and donations into SoulFullHeart, is what currently provides the livelihood for all four of us.”
 
“One of the biggest shifts in how I related to money came from sharing money as a community, pooling all of it from what we earn as individuals to be shared together, for the last few years. The amazing thing about this is that because of our ground of transparency and the SoulFullHeart process itself which is our mutual way of relating, we have been able to bring reactions and triggers to each other around this without any conflicts arising because of it. There has been very little tension about sharing the money with each other and the sense of gratitude around it flows freely between us all.”
 
“This IS wonderful, Jelelle! This is more the way that money and alchemy flows in fifth dimensional consciousness. The energy exchanges with others are based in good will, gratitude, and a personal sense of inner abundance. Coming from this place of open abundant heart tones, sharing is natural and there is a deep trust that whatever you give will come back to you and the Universe will provide for you.”
 
“Yes, and somehow, from this place, all the needs of each individual person get met through this exchange, Metatron. The deeper phase for us in this transition to fifth dimensional consciousness around money is for ALL of our money and alchemy flow to be coming from SoulFullHeart and its offerings. And to experience a deeper abundance of goodness and beauty related to our living spaces. We also feel that gift exchange with others, including others coming to live with us here in Mexico and sharing in and contributing to the community pool of money, is a key aspect to the fulfillment of our vision and our desires. We are all visualizing this during meditation, connecting with our guides like you around it, and continuing to focus on inner healing and expanded heart and soul consciousness. It is a journey in process for sure.”
 
“Your story invites others to feel what their journey is related to this transition from 3D consciousness around money to 4D awakening to 5D,” Metatron says. “And I invite them, in this moment, to feel where they may be associating lack of love or abundance in their lives with how they are experiencing their money flow. I invite them to feel how the ways they earn their livelihood is connected to their soul purpose gift expression and ways that it is not. I invite them to feel their deepest desires related to money flow, abundance, and external (and internal) experience of it. I invite them to feel how much trust they feel that the Universe will provide all that they need.”
 
“This is a powerful invitation, Metatron. It is one that we offer as well in exploration of this ground from a higher consciousness perspective while holding the space inside to feel all the reactions that come up in response to it!”
 
“That is a magical thing indeed and I look forward to supporting others in this journey!”
 
“Me too, Metatron….me too!”

~

Note: Please join us for our live group call on Saturday, February 4th in which Raphael and I will explore the alchemical ground of money, abundance, and soul purpose. A monetary donation is required and much appreciated as it serves the unionifying of your intention and energy with ours.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Following Our Authentic Path To Draw Abundance: Meditation With Lakshmi

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

By Leena Colibri

lakshmi-vrindavan-das

I felt drawn to meditate with Lakshmi* the other day, feeling like she would be an interesting energy to connect with around questions I’ve been holding about abundance and drawing money. I like that she doesn’t represent easy abundance but instead seems to show us that if we are in our dharma or on our life’s authentic path, abundance is a flow we will have access to. I’d never been drawn to meditate with her before, but I came across an image of her online and felt like she may have something to teach me.

What follows is the story of our meeting together…

I close my eyes and invite my angels to help me ascend to where I can meet Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of abundance. In a flash of light, I feel my soul rise to a higher stratum of existence, where I sit amongst what looks like baobab trees and there is a waterfall in the background. I see Lakshmi appear before me in a more woman-like form than most pictures of her depict. Her long, straight black hair is adorned with gold jewels and what seems to me like a beautiful and ornate tiara on top of her head that is quite enormous. She moves with grace and ease.

As we connect, I feel my heart searching for hers. She feels a bit distant and this could be because she is familiar to my soul, yet I haven’t explored much connection with her in this life. Plus, if my soul has experienced a lifetime (or several) in India, it is possible that humanizing her was against the rules, so feeling her heart may be difficult for a time. I don’t think much about this in the moment though, as any connection will do for now. I begin to ask her questions about whether or not I am blocking the abundance of money flow in my life. I acknowledge and let in the abundance I feel I am living into in many others ways, including the ways of love flow and spiritual awakening. She acknowledges this and I feel her warmth. She comes closer to me and places a gold coin in my right hand.

“Look at the coin,” she instructs me, “What do you notice?”

To my amazement, the gold layer begins to peel back to reveal a silver colour. Her message dawns on me…“Oh…so the value of money-abundance diminishes, yes?” I inquire, feeling like a good student in a small way, but mostly like an epiphany may happen at any moment.

“Yes…” she says, and vibes to me that she is not implying money has absolutely no value, only that it has less value than most people believe it does and that the value is not everlasting – It is temporary.

I see her face up close now, as she enters my field more so than before. She is beautiful with dark eyes, tanned brown skin with a golden hue, and a tender smile. She has a fiery energy that I resonate with, but also a sagely softness and stillness. I feel like she is enjoying this process with me, as I am not demanding answers or help, but requesting guidance and enjoying the process of connecting and transacting energy and love with her. Something about it feels natural, even though I am also having a completely new experience (or what feels new for me in this life).

Some time passes. I ask again about the flow of money and what my piece is in blocking it. I ask if there is anything else I can do to remove the block, though I can also feel that this may be a flow that I cannot control.

She offers that I look at the gold coin in my right hand again. The silver colour is now gone and it feels and looks like a more solid gold now. She instructs me to close my hand. Once I do this, she motions to my left hand, which is open with my palm facing upwards, just like my right hand was. A beautiful lotus flower appears with a golden hue and sparkles. She vibes to me the story of how receiving money is meant to transmute and flow outward into a beautiful creation like the lotus. In my case, and the case of my intimates, this flow has been love and spiritual openings, represented by the lotus.

I feel how our choices of money spending recently have been based in creating more of this love flow and bathing in it amongst ourselves and with others. Lakshmi seems to be offering me that this is supposed to happen – that money held on to for too long only diminishes its value. Its true value lies in what it is encouraged to transform into. This is comforting and validating, though a part of me still feels tension about when the money we are waiting for from my pay check will finally arrive. Lakshmi addresses this by offering that it “is much easier than I think” to draw money and that it really is arriving soon.

She puts my hands together in a prayer position in front of my heart and wraps a gold ribbon of energy around my hands. The energy and warmth flowing through my body feels like love, healing, and movement. It feels like a blessing. She tells me it IS a blessing, straight from her to me and to my community. She then tells me to open my hands again and hold them in front of me, ready to receive. Together we energize that everything I want and need is already here with me and that receiving money, or indeed any sort of abundance, is actually easy. I get the feeling that she can make almost anything feel easy, yet I trust her when she tells me this too.

As we part, I feel her honouring my heart and soul and all I am living into. I feel her blessing upon me and the blessing of being in her presence run through my body. She is with me still as I write this. She said she would help me record the meeting and she is! I look forward to spending more time in meditation with her, to feel our connection in a deeper way.

*Lakshmi (or Laxmi) is a Hindu goddess. The following is some information I’ve found about her, to help you orient to who she is and what she represents:

Goddess Lakshmi means Good Luck to Hindus. The word ‘Lakshmi’ is derived from the Sanskrit word “Laksya”, meaning ‘aim’ or ‘goal’, and she is the goddess of wealth and prosperity, both material and spiritual.

Lakshmi is depicted as a beautiful woman of golden complexion, with four hands, sitting or standing on a full-bloomed lotus and holding a lotus bud, which stands for beauty, purity and fertility. Her four hands represent the four ends of human life: dharma or righteousness, “kama” or desires, “artha” or wealth, and “moksha” or liberation from the cycle of birth and death.Cascades of gold coins are seen flowing from her hands, suggesting that those who worship her gain wealth. She always wears gold embroidered red clothes. Red symbolizes activity and the golden lining indicates prosperity. Lakshmi is the active energy of Vishnu, and also appears as Lakshmi-Narayan – Lakshmi accompanying Vishnu.

 Two elephants are often shown standing next to the goddess and spraying water. This denotes that ceaseless effort, in accordance with one’s dharma and governed by wisdom and purity, leads to both material and spiritual prosperity.

(Source: http://hinduism.about.com/od/hindugoddesses/p/lakshmi.htm)

**

 Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Convicted: Heart, Body, And Soul

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Heart, Body, Soul

By Cristian Tydeman

I spent some time looking up the word “convicted”.  Obviously, the first thing that comes up is “being found guilty”.  In biblical terms (and may I preface that I am not nor have ever have been a Christian this life), it seems “convicted” is to realize through the Word of God that the life we had been living was “wrong”.  In either case, both definitions connote judgment.  In my new awareness, conviction is a state of loving embrace.  That is how it feels to me.  I could have easily chosen another word, but somehow this one really resonates with the heart of what I am.

I have recently returned from another Soulfullheart experience in Vancouver.  This time for two weeks.  While the group only met for two days, my process was running on 8 cylinders the whole time.  The compartments that I used to walk in and out of were melting away.  For the first time since I began this journey I was feeling more whole.  More at peace with who I am, not what others “think” I should be.  I brought more of my SFH self this time around and the alchemy of sacred space brought me to this state of conviction in heart, in body, and in soul.

Heart

I am in love.  In love with who I am becoming, in love with a beautiful woman, and in love with the Divine.  During my stay I found myself in an emerging relationship with all of the above.  With my Soulfullheart companion, Kathleen, I had to “show up” and be the man I know I am or risk losing something magical.  We both had to learn to be vulnerable and feel the fear of our parts in any given moment.  Through this sometimes difficult process, there arose a bond I have not experienced in decades.

As a result, I began to experience myself in a whole new way.  I feel more King-like, more open, and more real.  This is what I have been aching to feel my entire lifetime.  It has been worth all the challenges and tears.  The chrysalis is shedding and the wings are unfurling.  I am here…now.  With this new consciousness comes a new name…Cristian.

Body

Another manifestation from my Vancouver stay was the relationship to my body.  Jillian and Wayne have led me to a new respect for what I put into my body and how I maintain and strengthen it.  Though I am just beginning this new phase of my SFH experience, the initial feelings are positive and hopeful.  I went on a shopping trip recently and purchased more fruits and vegetables than I ever have.  Being around health just inspires me to be healthy.  As this unfolds, I will keep you posted on my body-based journey.

Soul

The last, but certainly not least, is my strengthened relationship to the Divine Mother.  From the minute I left my home some two weeks ago, situations occurred that were beyond mere circumstance.  People I sat next to on the plane, unfolding of seemingly unrelated events to lead me to one place or another, and the soft, tender voice that follows me wherever I go.  My daemon, Raybone, went through his own transformation with a new name and thus reestablished a long hiatus from Divine Love.  He has constructed an altar to Her Presence in our life.  All of which was inspired by music gifted to us by Jillian.  He has begun remembering our purpose here on this planet.

I have committed myself to moving toward Vancouver.  I have cleared my heart of any doubt that this is right for me.  I am unshakeable in my desire, unmovable in my faith.  I will be there.  I am there, now, in heart and in love.  The Divine tells me to follow my love and a path will be laid.  There will be challenges and fear along the way, but with Her Love, Kathleen’s love, and the love of my Soulfullheart family of Jillian, Wayne, and my daughter, there is nothing that will stop me.   I am. . . Convicted.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life.

Letting in what we really want

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment
By Wayne
Without realizing it, we configure life and relationships in such a way as to only get part of what we want, and to try to leave the rest of what we want off our radar.  Just enough to feel safe. Having more fulfillment than we are used to doesn’t feel safe at all. Drawing what we really and most deeply want in life is not the impossibility, or the matter of chance as we’ve made it out to be.
Drawing what we really want is difficult because it starts with letting ourselves have the want, admitting to ourselves and others that we are not happy with what we have, and seeing how we have played a huge role in setting up and maintaining the unfulfilling picture, and then taking steps towards what we really want. And then even though today is a continuation of yesterday in your life’s configuration and situation, you’ve changed direction, and you’ve changed the air quality, and you’ve changed the energy.

And those closest to you will likely not like it. If the friendship or relationship got it’s good start around an unspoken agreement to be a coping mechanism for the lack of fulfillment in your life, then the bond needs to hold to that in order to survive. Loyalty is often held up here as the greatest of all virtues.

I feel this consternation at times with Jillian. We both regularly reach out for more with each other. But we hit a wall inside of ourselves to let in what we discover. If Jillian finds more of herself and her fulfillment in life, how will that affect her desire towards me? If we find levels of fulfillment together that were before off our radar, how do we expect to maintain that? How do I expect to find that again if I were to lose Jillian? It pushes up a big performance piece for a man. If I held the space of passion and leadership, and did my part for this to arise, and it worked somehow, how do I expect to keep that happening? As a woman, she will probably let herself want that more than I am ready to as a man.

Sex is a really good place to see this vulnerability.  A man can dream of being with an attractive and sexual woman and all without feeling how he would never let himself truly have that as it would be crazy on many levels to be around.

Having more of what you really want is way more about letting it in, than finding it.

It starts with finding and getting to know the part of ourselves that resists letting in more.