Love Stories Don’t End, They Start New Chapters

This was a hard post to write. It is always vulnerable to share about intimate pieces of our lives, yet in service, in transparency, and in honoring it is needed. This past month there has been a deep rumble in my union with Kasha. She and I have been in this process, community, and sacred journey for nearly 10 years together. We have been romantic for about half of those years, in and out. We even got married three and a half years ago to initiate our bond even deeper, even as that completed shortly thereafter.

There has been something deeply core between us and within each of us that has been challenging to reconcile. Each time we have gone in together, we have found new layers of intimacy together, yet also a pattern that has been undeniable between us. In our recent group session, we had to come to the honest truth that we are just not the pair-bond we thought we were.

Yes, we have so much goodness between us. Enough to power a typical relationship to the end of our lives possibly. Yet that is not why we are here. I am still coming to terms with what a sacred union even is. How scary and yet powerful it can be! There is something in me that has been polarized to letting all of that in. This inner split in me has come to my awareness recently and needs a lot of my attention and love. It has colored a lot of the way I have related to Life and Romance. I lost my Lover somewhere along the way.

I am curious how much of my soul history has been involved in these kinds of sacred bonds. I have a seed for union inside of me yet I don’t know how much it has been expressed in my lifetimes. Regardless of that possibility, I am in deep need of resolving something core inside of me that has been difficult to access in our bond together. I don’t want to be an anchor to where Kasha is needing and wanting to go in her soul around sacred romance and union.

There is a lot still to mourn and grieve around this for me. A lot to see and feel inside of myself that comes with me going forward. I said these words before and yet they still hold true today and will 10 years from now. There is always a peeling of the onion and each time we do, the tears fall. The heart gets heavy and the work begins again. Yet, for both of us, we ultimately want what is the highest calling for each of us, even if that might not be in sacred romance together. A tough pill to swallow when there is so much goodness.

A love story doesn’t always just end. It sometimes just takes on a new direction. We have been here before and we know what needs to be felt and addressed along the way. Because of what Kasha has given me, I get to see myself in a real way not only in a good way. This is the gift of sacred union whether they prolong or complete. They offer us back to ourselves and to the Divine in a new way. We see where we have grown and what still needs healing. I could not have done that without beloved Kasha. She has been a portal and catalyst for so much of my growth as well as my joy. We have had so many incredible moments together and in service.

So the road back to me begins again. The road to another layer of my authentic self and my relationship to the Divine in both Mother and Father frequencies. I have been blessed by these experiences with Kasha and have much to own on my side. Sometimes a spade is a spade, even if it looks like a heart.

Thank you to you all who have been a part of our love story. I know that there will be personal reactions to it. For those that have been around us long enough, know what we have had together and will continue to have in the decade to come. I will write more about my own process soon as I digest more of it in time. For now, thank you for taking this, and our former Usness, into your hearts.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Returning To The King Of Hearts

“Which of you to gain me tell

Will risk uncertain pains of hell?

I will not forgive you

If you will not take the chance

The sailor gave at least a try

The soldier being much too wise

Strategy was his strength

Not disaster”

~excerpt from Terrapin Station by The Grateful Dead

I remember this part of the song as if it was yesterday. It was a moment at a Dead show that had me recognize that a prominent part of me was in defense and safety mode for most of my life. I was feeling this inner urge to let my body go into a euphoric dance but was holding back. I could sense it yet still stayed within a narrow bandwidth of expression. 

When those lines came out of Jerry’s mouth and landed in my ears they went to my heart and then my soul. I had been playing the soldier. I was not the risk-taking sailor in this tale. In that moment I felt a surge of desire move through me to let go and just be me and let my body do its thing. I felt alive and in joy. 

Granted I was under an influence of chemistry, but the moment stuck with me from that time on. The soldier would take the lead over the sailor and at times they would switch. It has been an ongoing challenge for me to be more rooted in my heart, my truth, and surrender. Being in this intimate community and in a deeply intimate and sacred union relationship, this soldier has had to deconstruct and to let my sailor more into the ebb and flow of daily realness and trust. 

I won’t lie. It has been very challenging. I feel that I am being confronted with eons of strategy and protection that have kept my woundedness in a holding pattern until new light shines that it must either be felt and gone deeply into or risk losing so much potential for a love beyond what my soldier could possibly let in. This feels like a perennial masculine challenge and conundrum. The surrender into and the trust of our divine mandate to heal and recode this legacy of pain, fear, and inadequacy. 

I have felt how much has had to be constructed, maintained, and eventually popped in order to feel and see the depths of our woundedness. It is not our weakness, but our strength that resides inside of it. It houses our resilience even if it has been in suffering or in a numbed state. Having deep compassion, care, and curiosity are what help to bring out this defense and woundedness. 

It is in this loving state that the true King of Heart can emerge to guide the inner factions back home into wholeness and realness. Not some perfected image of what it means to be a man or a king, but what lies at the core of our being and our own personal truth and needs. That is where our kingdom truly lies. 

In the meantime, I sit with the soldier, the fallen angel of the Divine, and we feel together in trust and in grace that we are on our way. That we are healing, we are held, and we are more than enough in the eyes and heart of the Divine.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The SoulFullHeart Podcast, Episode 3: Teenage Wounding, Intimacy, and Spirituality

We are SoulFullHeart Facilitators/Teachers/Sacred Union soul mates, Gabriel Amara and Kasha Rokshana, and we’re so excited to host the second episode of a weekly podcast from within the SoulFullHeart process, community, and way of life which is so beloved to us and which we have been a part of for the last decade.

In this episode, we share a bit about our feelings and perspectives on our teenage years and how much we are still influenced by them as a part of us we call the Inner Teenager. An unconscious fusion to this volatile time of our lives has such an impact on how we relate to life, intimacy, and spirituality. On many levels we are still being initiated into a mature relationship to ourselves, others, and the Divine itself. We hope you find this illuminating as well as a step into deeper healing for yourself and this very alive and multidimensional part of us.

Here is a link to the 7 Areas Of Life article we mentioned in the podcast:
https://www.soulfullheart.org/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Here is a link to Gabriel’s writing on the subject this past week:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/2022/05/24/the-inner-teenager-our-beloved-uninitiated/

We would love for you to follow us on any of the following platforms that you may be connected to:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2LUIpz0KHOr46Utheqfl5C
Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/…/soulfullheart…/id1571976536
Google Podcasts:
https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81ZjA4YWQwNC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Anchor:
https://anchor.fm/soulfullheartcurrent

SoulFullHeart is a healing process, a contextual paradigm, a very powerful and empowering way of life, and a sacred community all in one. You can find out more on our website: http://www.soulfullheart.org. We’ll also be bridging everything SoulFullHeart through our own unique embodiment and experience of it to add more perspective and understanding as to where we come from and how the topics are held and felt in our hearts and souls.

We offer one-on-one and couple’s facilitation as the guidance and need arises. The SoulFullHeart Current Podcast is a way to serve and also be transparent with who we are and what we feel to embody and create outside the dystopian world that is being widely peddled today. We offer compassion, illumination, direction, feeling, and grounded action that is rooted in the individual self first, that then can spread to others through your own transformation and advocacy. Visit www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more information.

We appreciate any ideas for future podcasts for us to delve into as they arise for you. You can leave a comment or email those to us, along with any other comments to soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

You can find our online community, the SoulFullHeart Portal, on Mighty Networks at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co. We highly recommend joining our online community where for only $22/month, you’ll have access to what could be the deepest and most meaningful soul family connections you’ve yet to experience, exclusive videos/guided meditations from us as well as Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and more personal pieces being shared from each of us in our intimate community.

Thank you for being in The Current with us. It is where we strive to let go, let in, feel, heal, see, be seen, and seek resonant community!

With Love and Currency,
Gabriel & Kasha

Sacred Anniversary

It is in deep intimacy with self and with others that we can truly see and feel ourselves. It is where we were hurt and where we can heal and grow. It provides us with the next layers to meet inside and out.

When I was a teenager I was in a back-and-forth, in-and-out relationship that was quite dramatic many times. A karmic tornado in a way. I was working my own insecurities and uncertainties of a teenage boy.

I eventually found myself in a healthier and more intimate union with my former wife, Jelelle. She showed me the gifts of true intimacy and how it can show us things about ourselves we may have never been willing to see until we truly trusted someone enough to do so.

We both found ourselves on different paths at some point yet somehow still connected in heart and soul. It was at this point that I went into a solo phase and felt a resistance to going into romance again. It is where some of my old patterns re-emerged and played out some of my former teenage consciousness that needed to run out before I found myself again.

After some unfortunate yet illuminating events, I set myself on a journey to heal my self-worth and find my true purpose here on this planet. Not so much time passed and I met Kasha on the same path. We were very different in many ways yet also connected in our souls. We found ourselves in a swirl of a romance at first that led to me leaving California and then moving to Canada.

From there we found ourselves on a years-long journey together where we have seen, felt, and moved through many shadow and karmic places together, both in romance and out. I have learned how much I have resisted real and deepening intimacy with myself and others, especially that of a sacred union.

I didn’t even really understand what that meant when I began this journey. I knew I wanted to know myself and feel better about myself but this sacred union journey as lead me to so much more. So much more challenging, scary, and yet alive and magical. I am not anywhere near the same human I was 10 years ago. Nor will I be the same in 10 more.

A year ago today, I crossed the space to offer my heart to Kasha after a long period of separation. It was a risk after what we had been through over the past, yet my heart and soul could only ever see and feel her as the one I wanted and needed to continue this ongoing journey. It was a leap of Love that I had been given another chance to take. Yet this time with more sobriety, realness, courage, and sacredness.

She has experienced myself at my most vulnerable and has showed up with a trust and her own worth to keep us both on sacred and deepening ground as well as the need to fly and unify. This is where I have learned that sacred intimacy IS a way of life and an ongoing process to show up to every single moment. It is the way of the Magdalenes. It is the way of this heart and soul lineage.

I feel all the 2’s this month signifying this Sacred Union path and lineage. It is found within and deepened with Other. I am blessed to have Kasha as my Queen and sacred mate. She leads me to my King, my Lover, and my Sage. She leads me to my most real and powerful self that I could not truly see or feel without her. For that I am eternally grateful.

It is intimacy that is the sacred ground we walk on with those in this community and will continue to espouse, exemplify, and explore. As a man, I know the difficulties to just even loving yourself, let alone another in a mature, healthy, and real way. That self-love is where it all starts and sacred union is where it all leads.

Thank you, Kasha, for this past year, the past years, and all the years that are meant to follow. I am ready for what we are meant to serve and create together as Magdalene mates and Divine Lovers and Leaders.

Happy anniversary, beloved. I love you…❤️🔥🌹

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Emotional Body Healing For Men

I felt to digest the ongoing Deepen video series that is hosted by my mentors and beloved soul friends, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, from my own personal experience. The second video of this series is on the Emotional Body, which can be found here:
https://youtu.be/zYepOaMYNwQ

Before I started working with Jelelle and Raphael 10 years ago I would definitely say that my emotional body was in a pretzel. I tried many practices to get me to breathe, meditate, and move energy. Regardless of what I did I found that the reoccurring depression, frustration, and anxiety were not really being addressed in a fundamental way.

As a child I was very emotional both in sensitive and aggressive ways. I would cry a lot as a young boy and then I moved into anger and temper. As I got older I would use alcohol as a means to manage this emotional turmoil. I never felt very safe to address this with my parents as they too had there own emotional turmoil going on.

I eventually went to therapy briefly to get to some root of it but I was mostly given coping mechanisms and strategies. As I started my journey with sessions, I found many places inside of me where emotional energy was being stored by parts of me at different times of my life. By holding this energy as a part of me rather than an unknown influence over me, I began to have a bigger sense of where these emotions were coming from and what was triggering them.

I had always had a hard time being vulnerable. There was a deep lack of trust and safety to bring out more of the hurt as well as the rage. There was a lot competing for attention inside of me and it became overwhelming. The emotions would surge and I needed a way to deal with them. As a boy growing up I did not really have the modelling of healthy expression and acceptance for what I was really feeling.

This kept me in a fairly immature state as a man even as I had so much responsibility as a teacher and a father. I found ways to stuff things away so that I could be the Good Guy, Teacher, Father, Son, and Friend. Eventually, the dam had to break and I found myself in some deep depression and needed a way to digest all of this emotional backlog.

Since I began my inner journey, I have been able to address many of those emotional issues inside of me. I was able to connect and relate to parts of me that held so many emotional frequencies. I was able to feel their pain as well as their needs. I began to be more honest as well as create more boundaries to protect and cultivate more love for myself and these inner parts of me. This led me to many courageous choices that was previously unlike me.

I continue on that journey of increasing vulnerability, authenticity, transparency, and intimacy. I feel my river of emotion is more stable, more open to real-time fluctuations that are rooted in the moment rather than suppressed, and held in self-worth and care for others. It is an ongoing process that is now more untangling soul themes more than this-life circumstances.

If any of this resonates with you, I highly recommend you check out the video link above and take in the teaching and meditation. It may provide a going on place for you in your desire to heal the emotional vibrations and issues that may live inside of you. This is especially a difficult one for men and even the masculine in women. I hope it serves you in any way it is meant to.

Here is to the beginning of a New Year of inner health that starts in the Heart.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc

Intimacy As A Spiritual Path

Intimacy is our next frontier. At least it has been mine for the last 10 years. Intimacy with Self, the Divine, and Other. As I continue up this ascension path, I have realized how non-intimate I have been most of my life. When you start to really get to the nuts and bolts, it is quite stark how this is true for all of us.

It is vulnerable to be intimate. To see and be seen in all our textures both ‘good’ and not-so-good. When I lived on my own and in a community of One, I could avoid at lot of things and I was blind to a lot of things as well. It was up to me to challenge myself. That is a good thing too, but when it comes organically you really see yourself (or selves) in more authentic ways.

Kasha and I have found ourselves in a very tiny place before we move on to Portugal in July with our soul fam. It has brought up a lot to be with in our union. Edges and irritations that are possible to avoid when in a larger area. This is a birth canal for us. It can be a deepening or completing when you get real at each moment.

The lack of space brings us in closer contact with our inner truths and needs. Do these align, or do they separate? This is true in all moments in conscious, sacred union. Through this I get to see myself more authentically as well as my own relationship to the Divine. Without that we would be navigating this thing like a boat at sea without a rudder or sails.

Intimacy with all three brings us to new dimensions of our humanity and our spirituality. Our Humanality. In years past I would have sought more solitude, but now I feel different. I need Others. I need my beloved community. I need Kasha. I need the Beloved. I need intimacy. They are the portals into New Earth. Into a new me.

This is not an easy path. I have lot more to learn, discover, and embody. I am grateful for that, for her, for community, for Love. I realize that intimacy IS a spiritual path. It is an initiation to our Humanality. I am here to walk that path as well as serve that path. I am a student and teacher of the path of sacred intimacy. I am both surprised and honored by that. This is my journey and curriculum.

For those that are seeking more intimacy in your life’s journey please reach out. We are all here to support you along the way. I do offer a free 45-minute intro call to see how we may do that.

Here’s to your sacred intimate ascension journey.

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Surrendering To Our Sovereign Relationship To Love

The words ‘sovereignty‘ and ‘surrender‘ can be quite the portals for the masculine in us all. They are especially highlighted in relationships of all kinds. In the ongoing journey of healing my intimacy wounds, I have come to these gateways many times. Who is this ‘me’ in the we of intimate relationship? How do I maintain my own truth, needs, and desires without feeling like I am acquiescing or submitting to someone else’s truth, needs, and desires?

Before I left California 8 years ago, I lived a life that would be defined as ‘sovereign’. I was not in many relationships after my divorce, and when I was, sovereignty was a big trigger as well as commitment. Inside there was a part of me that wanted his cake and eat it too. That old wounded masculine conditioned standard. Intimacy was more about sex and having a good time rather than getting to the bare bones of my heart-truth and my deeper needs as human man.

Then I found myself in a sacred, conscious romance as well as sacred, conscious community. Those flared up that ‘sovereignty gene’ I want to call it. That switch that says, “Oh, woah! Wait! Time-out. What is going on here? I am I giving away something that I cherish for the sake of something that I am not familiar with?”. The question was, what was it that a part of me cherished and what was it not familiar with?

At the core, I found that a part of me cherished non-vulnerability and wasn’t familiar with vulnerability. Even deeper, I realized it was an existential fear of Love that was at the root of it all. When I felt the ‘me’ that was independent, sovereign, and non-vulnerable, I found a man that was lost, unhappy, and alone. Only he wasn’t able to admit that at the time. With anyone.

As men (or the masculine in women), we can so very much defend our sovereignty at the cost of real Love. That somehow Love and Sovereignty are separate and adversarial. I feel our relationship to our mothers as a pivotal piece to this equation. They represent that from which we were born from. We received love in one form or another and then we needed to break away from that to find our individuation. Our authentic manhood that needed to push away, but more healthfully could have been initiated into it by a more conscious mother and father energy.

If we did not have that, and I would say most if not all of us did, then we are continually in this push-pull relationship to Other. To Love. To Intimacy. Surrender becomes more ‘submission’ than an opening into vulnerability which is all done with our sovereignty intact. We actually can never lose our sovereignty. We are born free, yet have been convinced we are in chains. When you see those chains are really about our fear of Love and our deep separation wound, you start to unhook those chains one by one.

This is a deep soul choice to heal this wound. It is not an easy one. It brings up a lot to witness and feel. A lot to be sober about in our shadow. Yet, it also brings in a new sense of freedom. A freedom to Be. To express. To surrender into without losing ourselves, but rather re-membering ourselves. It offers Love beyond what we had been conditioned and wounded into believing is love. This is the sovereign journey back into true surrender and true power. The power of conscious Love.



Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call this Saturday at 5pm BST via Zoom. We will be talking about these topics as well as offering a guided meditation and sharing space. You can go to soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Sacred Wound Of Intimacy And Vulnerability

Intimacy and vulnerability are the benchmarks of our sacred humanity. Without them we are avoiding our whole being, shadow and light alike. These are by far the most difficult parts of the healing process in my personal experience. Parts of us feel more comfortable on their own, with animals, or connecting to the stars than they do with other human beings. Given our vast soul stories, it is easy to understand why.

Authentic and conscious feeling is something that we have been conditioned and protected from doing. In feeling and owning what is real, there is a fear of being seen, of losing everything we have built up around us, or of getting swallowed up in the pain, and maybe even ecstacy! Being vulnerable is bringing to the surface that which is uncomfortable and/or sensitive.

At the core of this fear is a sacred wound that many of us are being drawn to heal. At the soul, or Higher Self level, we may find ourselves drawing situations that are meant to bring us to the precipice of this wound for in order to truly grown and evolve we are meant to face these wounds/fears once and for all. For me this is what has brought me into deep community with SoulFullHeart.

As I have moved back into closer proximity and soon heading off to Glastonbury with everyone, I am reminded that this is not just spiritual tourism. It is an opportunity to heal my intimacy wound as well as the Metasoul lives that are still in play in the 4D geography of the UK. What other lifetimes exist within me that struggle with intimacy? Being ‘on location’ brings me closer, more intimate, with these lifetimes and Metasoul brothers and sisters.

This becomes a prime example of how each moment is a portal into our sacred humanity if we chose it to be. We have access to so much inside of us yet we chose to acknowledge just a thin slice. Again, for very good reason. The true courage is not in the solving or the fighting, but in the feeling. The human heart is the first and final frontier. It is the doorway to our soul. The thing is, it has been through a lot of shit. A lot of fucked up experiences. It may still be. Yet, its healing IS our salvation, not the ignorance of it.

*****

Over the next two weeks in the last of the Free To Be 5D group call series, we will be addressing the Sacred Wound. The very thing that brings us around and around until we gain the courage and will to finally meet it where it is at. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to join us by offering a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop to get the link to the call if you have not done so already. I also offer a free 45 minute consultation call to see how and if the SoulFullHeart process is right for you to support you in this sacred wound exploration and healing. You can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more information.

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

INtimacy over INvisibility

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.