Completing Our Sacred Union Romance

By Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

From Gabriel ~ 

This is a hard post to write for many reasons. It signals the completion of something that has been a big part of my journey the past six years so there is mourning. It opens up to the vulnerability of what is real and moving for me in transparency. All of this is held with Love and Grace.

Recently I felt a need for Kalayna and I to take some physical space to feel into some deeper layers that have been some core issues between us for some time. We had been having a hard time connecting on a deeper level and could feel some much needed heart exploring and feeling to get to a root of something.

The fear was always that we could wind up finding out what has been eluding us that may not be reconcilable. Something baked in our dynamic that had a time stamp. We have been down this road a few times and eventually we needed to complete to go back into our own processes. Each time though we came back with new awareness and foundations.

However, this time we have had to admit through deep tears and some frustrations, that this romance needs to complete for its last time. The last chapter of a volume that comprises our larger story. It was not an easy choice to make considering we did just get married. I knew that there were things we had to go into but I wanted to do that while wed to her, because that is how I saw her. That is how I wanted to remember what we had. That she was my wife. My partner. My beloved mate in this wild ride of ascension.

The reasons run deep and wide. We have many differences between us that are hard to reconcile. In our solo processes and sessions with Jelelle and Raphael, we realized that what we have is meant in a different context. One that doesn’t have romantic ties but ties that run deep nevertheless. I have found that I need a space to access more of who I am to myself and in intimacy. I have work to do just as any other ascending human man. Kalayna came to a very similar conclusion for herself.

So many timelines and stories have needed to collapse and complete so that I can open up more to the Love that wants to occur from me to me, me to the Divine, and me to Other. This is an ebb and flow of clarity and tears. I hold this just as sacred as when I got married. This time I am marrying/integrating more of myself that had been put aside in the name of the Usness that just wasn’t meant to be in this way.

In all of this, the one thing that has always held firm and true is that my love for Kalayna is real. So much so that I need to let go so that she can arise and draw what her deepest heart needs. The same is true from her to me. This death and rebirth is a part of what we signed up for and it has been one of the biggest ones to date for me.

Thank you for taking this in to your heart and holding it with reverence. I will answer any questions you may have. I appreciate all the love and support you gave us during our time together and feel blessed to have been a recipient of it. I feel held in all of this by Divine Love. There is no one else I could have walked this out the way we have at this time then Kalayna. Thank you so much Kalayna for everything you were, are, and will continue to be.

From Kalayna ~

It’s been 6 years.

6 years of friendship, of off-and-on romance, of deep connections together on all levels: soul, heart, body, and mind.

And now something so sacred to us both is deeply completing.

We have navigated life together in so many different ways and phases… we’ve pressed forward into plans, launched ourselves into the unknown, met new parts of ourselves and each other, felt new Metasoul aspects of ourselves that are connected to one another and some that aren’t or don’t seem to be too. I’ve grown so much because of being with this amazing man… and the recent choice to become ‘married’ and to deepen in Sacred Union really gave me the gift of a longtime wish I had inside to marry HIM specifically. The fulfillment of a dream, truly. And I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have been my first true, deep, resonant love.

It’s been about a month now of process within myself while taking space from the relationship and altogether separating from Gabriel. I’ve been feeling what the tendrils were that parts of me had with him and so much of that is still unfolding.

It’s been very tender and raw to feel, but it’s time to complete our marriage, our coupleship, our 6 year cycle of going IN together in different ways, always wondering about being together romantically, ‘completing’ romantic phases without them feeling really complete. Now it feels like the romance actually IS complete. I’m realizing and letting in that the ground we’ve had together, though made and built upon with SO much deep resonance and goodness on ALL levels, is a ground that isn’t nourishing in the deeper ways we both would need for it to continue, the way I need it to be to continue…. I’m seeing how in our time spent apart recently, I’ve had more self-discoveries happen inside of myself than I did in much of our romance together, at a new depth that I had forgotten in some ways was possible and also needed personally.

You can imagine how profound and emotional this whole process of letting go of this relationship has been for my heart and soul. So many of you have taken in videos, writings, live streams with us co-leading and I’m still so grateful I got to do that with him. We even recently led a few in-person meditation circles here in Victoria and that was alive and nurturing too, a new taste of my own leadership and my leadership with a mate too (another lifelong dream of mine that still remains and likely always will). I’ve been really feeling it and really letting in the mega timeline shift this has been and how needed this is right now through the tears, the mourning, the frustrations and even the resentments towards him that surface sometimes in parts/Metasoul aspects of mine.

In this whole process I’ve felt wrecked, hopeful, despairing, and then newly alive as I feel some emerging possibilities for myself outside of our bond in service, in personal healing, in future possibilities for my life in all areas. I’ve felt parts of me that don’t want to leave this relationship or complete it, and then felt ME coming up in a new way to be with what’s real and to feel what really does need to complete here for my sake and his. It’s time to come home to ME in a new way…

There’s nothing in me that doesn’t want to be connected to Gabriel somehow… and we both know so well the ground of sacred friendship that we can and DO have together. In some ways, these transaction grounds on a friendship level are just easier for us with so many gaps between us in life and soul experience that just aren’t as bridgeable in a romance as parts of me were hoping they would be.

The promise of Sacred Union is that you will grow… not that you will stay together romantically forever, especially if the bond cannot be kept alive and lively, renewing and rebooting. This has been our experience in the last 6 years of knowing each other and being together in different ways for different phases, and it feels like this last phase of romantic exploration HAS been the deepest we could go in this lifetime while in Sacred Union together.

I knew when we got married recently, that this was a step I needed and wanted to take with him, no matter how long it would last. In a sense it actually feels like we’ve been married for as many as 10 years, let alone just a few months, especially with all of the new realizations coming through that could only really be coming through because of the ground and history I’ve experienced with him. My process is calling me to keep moving forward and onward, as sad as it still feels to be moving on without him by my side…

I so welcome any questions or comments you may have…

Much love to you all… thank you for being a Sacred part of our journey.


Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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Death/Rebirth, Relationship Shiftings And New Alignments From Within: Personal Update From Raphael and Jelelle

By Jelelle Awen

Raphael shares vulnerably below his recent death/rebirth process that entwines and connects to mine and our ‘usness’ together too as we separated during it. This latest phase of our journey together has brought me so much into my own heart space, into tender holding with parts of myself and multiple metasoul aspects as well….at one point working with four different timelines at once! I could feel and focus on myself as a woman/queen/mate/healer, etc. and even with the times of immense grief and sadness coming up….so feel the core of self love and goodness and trust that is THERE inside for me always to lean into after all these years of parts/metasoul work and deep connection with the Divine.

I am amazed (yet somehow also not suprised?) as the timeline shifts again to realign us all together in community again. I certainly felt during this time of separation from Raphael, the trailing edge and karmic frequencies of our bond together, manifesting this life and other lifetimes/timelines too. I fully went into owning and feeling my side of the sometimes contentious energies between us. I learned and continue to learn so much! This is deep work to we have signed up to continue to do together, as so many counterpart soul mates have too!

I have been so amazed at how the SoulFullHeart process itself has so been there for me through the grief, the pain, the letting go, the realizations….all of it and then some…and I am amazed at how Raphael is moving through what he is too as he leans into it more as well.

With this shifting, we are feeling to remain rooted/grounded/based here in Victoria BC with plans to travel to Europe in the fall to scout out future retreat/group session places there too. It just feels like I want it ‘all’ honestly…the rooted/grounded heart home with my beloveds and the adventure/activation of travel into these ancient places and eventually hold groups/retreats there too.

My heart feels relieved and lighter too as the Divine seems to be gifting me with exactly what I want and need as I was so willing to let it all go (as seems to be the process honestly). Timelines really are collapsing and re-emerging SO FAST these days!

Thank you all of your sweet support during this time!
Jelelle Awen


By Raphael Awen

I am so glad and relieved to be on the other side of what has felt like my deepest dark night experience this life to have opened out a deeply profound and meaningful reconnection with my beloveds after a long feared relationship meltdown.

I wanted to update those of you who have held myself, Jelelle, Gabriel, Kalayna and Raianna and our growing community in your heart.

I can’t hardly describe to you the death and rebirth process, the dark night of the soul process that is now opening out to love and life. It’s like the karmic shadow bill came due quite suddenly on what was underneath my relationship with Jelelle and by extension; inseparable relationship with SoulFullHeart and its community.

Really letting go of being in romance with Jelelle brought up, pretty quick after what felt like a treasured phase of deep and real appreciations, being faced with my own buried resentments based in real dynamics in our bond (as Peter Gabriel says ‘the seeds of my undoing that had been there from the start’), but so amplified by Metasoul realities that have been a long time in wanting to be felt and owned by me. The ripening projections of what was not reconciled me-to-me all but made it impossible to really feel and process any of those resentments, reactions between us that had been placed down under to protect a goodness and bounty where on one level, I always felt like I was in a permanent honeymoon phase with Jelelle, and by extension with our growing community. Maybe some of the cognitive dissonance of ‘this is all too good to be true’ had to do with this unreconciled shadow that always threatened to undermine the goodness. Gabriel and Kalayna can certainly speak to the rumblings that would come out of the woodwork at times between Jelelle and I.

This week, I found and connected with a Metasoul, whose name is Pillar (pronounced Pee-lar), whose timeline is the fall of Atlantis, who knew deep romance with his beloved Charee, (pronounced Kah-ree), and love within community, a ‘haven within a haven’ as he called it, but lost it all when he spoke to what he felt was the unowned shadow within the group. We felt and digested his devastating experience with being shunned, and losing it all, and the blame and shame, and all the after-the-game quarterbacking about what could have been different had he done things differently, particularly with more vulnerability. He also felt the words famously quoted from the Bhagavad Gita, by Robert Oppenheimer, the man credited with inventing the atomic bomb; “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”

Pillar and others in my parts and Metasoul have also deeply felt this theme of their truth being the torpedo of all that was good. My this-life history of leaving Christianity and the loss around that, as well as later losing the group that Jelelle and I met in, after being kicked out, so amplified these themes in my Metasoul, coming back to haunt me once again. I so get what people are speaking to when they mention their or someone’s ‘Inner Demons’, but see it as aspects of our soul awaiting our open heart to digest what they need to move their trauma, and afford us the overflow from their movement.

Pillar had the opportunity this week, being held in my heart, to feel me sort through, my own agony of feeling a future without beloveds, without SoulFullHeart, and then to make new choices and vulnerable reconnections. It began while staring down an insanity, seeking the handrails of goodwill and decency being restored here in the house we share, which was really rumbled the day before I moved downstairs to the basement suite, where part of me got vulgar in words towards Kalayna (the real low point). Gabriel’s subsequent help with daily checkins and space holding for Pillar recently helped things move through the birth canal. Each step brought new openings, and yesterday, after not seeing Jelelle for 2 weeks, and having limited contact with our community here, we met together as a group for some very precious words and tears together, and I was welcomed back into their hearts and my familiar treasured community.

Imagining a future of starting over in seeking a new community, a service of love expression within that and future romance possibilities looked and felt so hard, when my truth doesn’t resonate with any other known offerings that are out there, leaving me some hard road of beginning from the ground up, based in and on unresolved resentments, and ‘I’ll show them’, did not feel like a path I or any of my parts really wanted to embark on.

Well, that’s the short version of all this, which I hope to expand out into a new lived in reality on the other side of a huge compartment in my heart and soul and relationality now being integrated.

Jelelle even said to me at one point while we had a moment yesterday, ‘you never know what’s going to arise between us’, and my heart swooned, all the while knowing that time and space for integration and new discovery, new ways of being are also needed. I can tell you, with some trepidation, that it remains my (now, not-so secret) hope, that what does arise between us flowers naturally back into romance, but if it doesn’t, I really do trust that what arises can be and will be even better. I truly died to what was between us, and even SoulFullHeart, and am sooo grateful to be emerging back from the dead.

Parts of me are seeking guarantees from the Divine that there isn’t any more dark nights that will need to be this difficult. I trust that the fusion and pain was all necessary, though I really do hope to never again suppress anything on this magnitude, as it just hurts way too much. In that way, I can be the answer to the above prayer.

Thank you to all of you here who have ached for me, letting your heart be broken with mine, and rooting for me and loving me. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Much love and anticipation for the good that wants to come for us all, even through the shadow,

Raphael, xoxo

Join Our Ascension Energies FB Livestream On May 26 W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

Ascension Guide and SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Jelelle Awen is going to do a livestream tomorrow, Saturday May 26th at 10:00am CST on her facebook feed at to talk about the Ascension energies, SOULar activities and activations and how they may be impacting your chakras/emotional body/physical body. She talks about what she will cover in the video above.

She is also going to talk about the rumblings coming up in relationships BIG time right now that is coming UP in almost every session that I am doing in the last month….love flooding compartments and wanting CHANGE to happen for unions that may be more based in 3D frequencies (esp. between non-resonant souls) and invitation to move into completion and into sacred union bonds that serve love or a sacred phase of being alone.

She’ll talk about what can come UP for parts of you around making these shifts. You can join her live on FB to ask questions, leave comments, and connect in the virtual love space for an hour or so and also we will posting the video recording of the livestream here on SFH Experience Youtube Channel.

Here is the recording of Jelelle’s previous livestream two weeks ago:


Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation with women and with Raphael for men, along with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators as well…more information here. Visit for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Energy Update: Solar Eclipse Offers Joy Again And Setting Boundaries

By Jelelle Awen

Partial solar eclipse today…visible with our third eyes mostly, felt in our hearts, registered by our souls and Higher Selves as the codes come streaming in. This eclipse offers that your SKIES can open up again….that the sun of love is meant to come in and arise again after you’ve been in shadow, in some craziness timelines, feeling parts of you in distrust and anxiety (as I’ve written about recently.)

The beaming joy of after birth; the relief of catharsis; and the exhale as tensions relax ARE needed and available in this Now. Without this experience of peace too, then parts of you are ‘suffering over your suffering’ and remaining in loops of reactivity to crisis leading to more reactivity leading to more crisis, etc. etc. Parts of you may be drawn to the comfort of the dark without balance of light and love to HOLD the next necessary exploration into shadow integration.

The eclipse also offers a showing of edges that are sometimes necessary; to see and claim boundaries that sometimes need to be set with others so that you can feel like YOU again, so that you can find inner peace again, so that you can cease the suffering loops that they produce and reflect of you to you.

You can see the overlap between your sun and their moon and feel if it still serves you and if you still want it in your galaxy or not.

Conscious choices in ALL areas of life are so important right now as so many timelines shift, collapse, and new ones, higher ones want to birth and emerge. The fear-based timelines can tug hard to keep you anchored into the old. Are you choosing from love or from habit of suffering? Are you choosing from love of yourself or from a place of self hatred and fear? Are you choosing from the newest and highest or from the known and the safe?

The planetary bodies eclipse and merge and overlap in moments such as this….and so offer us mirrors to see our own movements too. This is a time to fill up again with LOVE as the momentous journey of ascension continues on, along with the Divine align…..

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life and offers space holding sessions with women. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at

Eclipse Of The Heart: Shiftings, Re-unions, And Completions

By Jelelle Awen



The moon passes in front of the sun, the warmth of the rays are blocked for these moments, and the energies shift across our world. Most of us will not be able to actually see and view the eclipse happening on February 26th, 2017 (unless you live in the Congo, Argentina, Chile, Namibia, Botswana, etc.), yet our souls will feel it, our galactic selves will feel it, and our higher selves are already calibrating to its influence and energy.
Most of my focus as a teacher, healer, facilitator has been on the inner cosmos, especially on healing and awakening the emotional body as it integrates and weaves with the soul expressions and embodiment of the higher self. So, my focus has not been so much on reading the grids or cosmic connections or astrology, etc. Recently, though, I have been integrating more and more aspects of my star selves, connecting with my star family (especially the Archturians and Pleidians)…..this organic process has infused me with more cosmic awareness, more sense of connection OUT there which is really rooted inside like everything else.
I have become more sensitive to how playouts and movements and events in the stars impact our emotional states, spiritual awakenings, ascension process, and our relationships. I feel that as an emoto-spiritual teacher that it is important for me to bridge what is happening in the sky with how it might manifest and relate to what could be happening for you inside of you, in your personal worlds, in your inner cosmos.
When I feel into the eclipse, I get this sense of covering over and then revelation again of the sun, mostly in the heart domains. Just as the sun gets to ‘arise’ again after it has been obscured by the moon, what has been ‘veiled’ over wants to be seen anew. Experiencing darkness in the middle of the ‘day’ is a waking up to what you may be taking for granted. What has been in the dark, wants to come into the light. While the soul awakening frequencies have been amping up and up for so many on this ascension path, these eclipse energies feel PERSONAL to the heart, getting to the real heart of the matter for most people.
The comments and questions that I have received lately have mostly been about relationships and specifically romantic unions that have been energized for many years, even decades. Within these relationships, there can be a sense of ‘living with’ what has been while consciously dreaming and desiring MORE….more love, more connection, more resonance, especially in the soul areas. There can be ‘living with’ what has been not as nourishing and even settling for shrinking of body, heart, and soul desires that are blooming from within, yet cannot express in the current ground of the relationship.
What you experience on the outside is a reflection of you and, often, in your romantic patterns with your partner (and other close relationships with friends and family), you are experiencing a version of you that wants YOUR attention that is represented by them. If someone feel stuck to you or not awake or not in synch or depressed or too linear or much more literal….you can look inside and FIND that you have a part of you that is JUST LIKE THEM, but has been suppressed. The part of you that is judging them (even if there is true discernment there, you can feel it is judgement when love is being withheld, primarily toward yourself!) is actually deeply judging the part of you that is JUST LIKE THEM. I am emphasizing this being just like them piece because it can be such a suffering loop and trap to feel what your partner/friend/family member is somehow NOT just a reflection of some part of you. You become in argument and fight against them on some level then, just like is happening inside of you from one aspect of you to another.
As you can bring the reflection that your partner (or friend or family) is offering and find the place inside that is like them, connect, and heal and feel this aspect…THEN the ground of TRUE discernment is available to you. THEN you can feel if you want to continue in the relationship ground or not, even as there is still love there. It is possible that the relationship ground will collapse and complete once you feel the part of you that was needing to be felt and being expressed by your partner. Although it is also possible that a whole new ground will arise between you and the partner as it clears of the projection energies.
If you feel as if you are settling in relationships, this you have allowed until you no longer need to allow it because you are connecting to and healing the previously suppressed part of you that you NEEDED to have reflected by your partner or friend or family until you didn’t any longer. This need to have this reflection is what people can mistake for resonance in relationships, when actually, it is what a client recently called ‘sticky’ or codependent at its roots. Sticky relationships are based primarily in subconscious unfelt need RATHER than health and soul bonds.
The SOUL, the 5d higher self, WANTS to seek for revelation inside AND outside. The SOUL is OPEN to eclipses of the heart. For things to be revealed and in that revelation to arise new or to fall away and complete. The soul doesn’t want to spend moments settling; it wants to move on and experience the possibilities of growth that come from letting go of what needs to be completed while love remains in the heart.
ALL phases are sacred, of course, and necessary for your growth and are there because you have allowed them to be there, on a higher level. YET, there is so much support for this revelation into honesty, to take an honest look at your relationships and feel them from this ground of heart AND soul nourishment. And then to take action, make changes, based on what you see and feel. This transition, if it leads to completion of the relationships, can be held with SO MUCH self love and love for other. It is a difficult and painful transition to be sure, as the unbinding happens of the hookups and connections AND the goodness that is there too. I do not offer this is in a casual way as relationships and relationality are, to me, the PRIMARY ground for which our soul growth and awakening moves and I hold very high reverence for them. The relationship within which then expresses outward being the main ground for transformation….
The eclipse offers us a symbolic picture of what can happen inside of us; the obscuring of the light, the re-emerging of the light into our experience…the digestion of the ‘event’ which then brings about shiftings that lead to re-union or to completion. And ALL of it held by love in service of love.
Here is a recent writing that I did about moving from sticky binds to soul bonds in relationships with mates, friends, and family:

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information and inspiration.