Tag: subpersonalities

To The Part Of You That Protects Your Heart

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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To the part that protects our hearts….This is written to the part of us that I believe we all have who is our guardian and protector. They do their jobs so well and we would not make it through life without them….AND this is an invitation for them to begin to rest and so that we can let in MORE love:

To the part of us that protects our hearts,

Will you let me thank you? Will you let in my gratitude? Will you lower your shield a moment so that you can let in my appreciation?

I want to thank you for existing. I want to thank you for coming in during the moments when life was the hardest, when there was the most pain, and when there was the most struggle.

I want to thank you for creating a bubble to ward off energies that would have harmed even more and for transmuting the harsh things so they landed softer. I want to even thank you for the numbness that descended at times so that life could be navigated.

I want to thank you for stepping in when there were no others to protect me. No one else could have cared as much as you have nor been so dedicated to your duty.

I want to thank you for every moment that you have spent in vigilance, watching over, not letting down your guard, not falling asleep on the job. I want to thank you for soaring the skies and the multiple dimensions and for being at the side of my childhood bed.

I want to thank you for all of this, and……..I want to invite you too into something new.

This something new is a relationship where you get to rest more. Where you get to trust more. Where you get to experience love for yourself. Where you get to help open the heart and not just guard it.

This something new is a relationship where I show up to hold my life as an authentic self and you get to help me. You are on my team, yet I am the leader now. I wasn’t there before and I am sorry, but now, I am arising and I have desires.

I want to open my heart to let in others. I want to flow with love and surrender to that flow and wherever it takes me. I want to dance with the currents of change and allow them to sweep me somewhere new.

I want to dance to the music of love without self consciousness or worry about what will happen next or your worry about if I will get hurt.

I am asking you to start resting even as I acknowledge how much you have done for me and that I need you on my team. Always. To help me set healthy boundaries, to help me defend myself if needed for my own safety or self love, to negotiate the rate and pace as I delve into heart and soul terrains.

I need you for these things and you need me to love you. This is new for you, but I feel your needs for love and rest. I am extending my open arms and heart out to you and I am inviting you to collapse into them when you are ready. For the first time, I am here and I can hold you now.

To the part of us that has protected our hearts….thank you and….it’s time to start letting go.

~

This is usually the first aspect that we work with and connect with in our SoulFullHeart Sessions with people as it is negotiation with this protector energy (also manifesting as a controlling energy) that allows for deeper access to the inner child and more suppressed aspects and energies. Through connection in sessions, journaling, dialogue, energy healing, the protective part differentiates from YOU as the arising authentic and embodying higher self.

This differentiation can lead to SIGNIFICANT changes in how you experience life, relationships, and love with much more openness, trust, and capacity to let in. The protector often presents itself as masculine and as a knight or warrior. They can have karmic ties and binds to other lifetimes and energize or appear as etheric guides or guardian angels. They have different ‘weapons’ too, sometimes swords, sometimes energy shields (or both). Identifying how your protector uses weapons and in what situations (and WHY) can be really helpful to understanding when, where, and why your heart feels ‘opened’ or ‘more closed’. It is amazing how universal this energy IS as we have so needed it to navigate 3D life here.

A way to connect with yours is to write a letter to it/him expressing similar to what I did above and anything else you feel about how protective energy shows up in your life. Then, wait for a response and write it down from your protector. You can then begin a dialogue back and forth on paper (and eventually outloud) to get to know each other. In SoulFullHeart, we provide dialogue questions for you and also help to differentiate and identify this energy, which can be challenging to separate or defuse from. It is also the feeling ground of space holding with an open hearted facilitator (who has differentiated from their protector and other 3D aspects) which helps to heal and transmute this energy.

More about sessions here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

More about the SoulFullHeart awakening and healing process here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartawakenin…

The audio of this here: https://soundcloud.com/…/to-the-part-that-protects-our-hear…

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

 

When You Finally Are Tired

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments
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Sometimes
you reach that end of a tether,
and realize,
it’s time to actually, finally
let go…
A tiredness takes over
from deep inside you.
An exhaustion creeping up
through every cell of your being,
calling out loudly,
that it is ready to collapse,
let itself breathe.
Let itself feel.
Let you feel it for what it really is…
For all the pawing and grasping
at what worked before
to keep it buried
beneath layers of trying and trials,
often self-made and maintained…
It begins to ask for you,
something bigger than it,
to help it,
this old you,
to finally rest.
Sometimes
it takes another long spin
on that favourite merry-go-round
of old beingness
to realize,
you’re finally ready
to emerge from that long,
long
long birth canal,
and see the light
of the new day awaiting you…

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

To The Part Inside That Needs Your Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

 

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I wanted to share what it feels like to hold an energy, or part, that looks toward the outer world of things and relationships for worth. It is our 3D self that feels this way and it our developing higher or 5D self that holds the space for these parts of us.

Now I feel the irony in sharing this as maybe a way of this part garnering some attention, but I was guided to share this as a way that we can relate to an aspect of us as a separate energy that we can give love to. It may resonate with you and provide a template of one of the ways we offer healing in the SoulFullHeart awakening and ascension process and during sessions. 

Hello, you.
You…the part of me that feels like the only way to feel loved
Is by reaching outside
Seeking validation and confirmation
You don’t need to do that anymore
There is a Me here to love you.
It is a Love beyond what others could give to you
That is always here.
You don’t realize this because you have been convinced
There is nothing else but the way it has always been.
You haven’t had someone like Me tell you otherwise
To feel you in your doubt and fear.
Someone who will let you be in your pain without trying to make it better.
To let it burn away all that you used to believe was Love.
I assure you that it isn’t and never was.
It was all a measure of what you felt you were worth.
What everyone else around you felt they were worth.
How would have known any different?

But there is something different.
It lies in your dreams.
Your desires.
Your imagination and….your worth.
You know you want more than what you are settling for.
You are worth the world.
A brand new world that responds to your goodness and your bigness.
It will take time, my love.
It wasn’t overnight that you saw and felt this way.
You are not wrong for feeling it.
It all brought you here to this place of finally saying no more.
No more pain.
No more cycling.
No more looking outside.
Surrendering to a trust in Me.
That I can be big enough to hold you through it all.
That what you desire and can imagine is already there.
You just need to let go of those thoughts and feelings
That keep you from believing it isn’t possible.
It is possible.
You know it is possible.
It is just hard to imagine based on the worn path you have traveled.

You can’t avoid the pain that will arise.
To do so would just keep you in more pain
And be that much more to feel along the way.
It is all coming one way or another.
It all comes down to HOW you are going to feel it
Rather than IF you are going to feel it.
There is no press or push, just an invitation
To lean into Me when you start feeling like you are less than
For I will always be your more than.
I will be there in the mud and in the trenches,
In the slippery and the sticky.
It won’t always be that way.
Just long enough to heal what needs to be healed.
The more you lean in the more you will be able to let go and let in.
Let in all that both you and I were destined to let in
Because it IS us and always has been.
No more second guessing.
No more judging.
No more suffering.
This is the time because there is No Time.
It happens now….
and now…
and now.
Until you have forgotten you ever lived this way.
I love you…always.

Sequoia Heartman is writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Coming To Terms With Our Light And Our Dark

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

denial-article

By Raphael Awen

Coming to terms with the fact that I am both light and dark may be the single most growthful thing for me this life.

Like the cruise ship that I just watched enter the bay in the predawn light, I just discovered something of monumental proportions about my life.

I’ve always had a love for God, a desire to be in awe, and in reverence. This is something known about myself and that others around me can attest to. It’s part of my light.

But in a recent flow of tension and feeling into it, I felt into an aspect of a part of me feeling entitled to have and know power. The 30 year long career I left 2 years ago was a lot about having a sense of power in the face of life’s powerlessness and indefinability. While most wouldn’t call me materialistic, there was something about the things that money could buy that afforded me (and still do) a way to assuage this pain of powerlessness. Feeling deeper into this need for power hidden in my shadow, I find something very different to the reverence for God that I’ve always known in my light. Underneath the entitlement and need for power is actually an impulse to dethrone God.

Surrender to a higher or greater power leaves part of me in some ‘lesser than’ place struggling to see it as any more than that. So where else would I, or part of me, place this competition with God, but to hide it in my shadow.

What a pretzel! To have both love and hate for God in the same vessel, to revere God on one hand and to need to dethrone God on the other.

The more I come to know (also a kind of quest for power), the more I must surrender to that I don’t know.

It feels to me like the Divine itself is learning the same lessons I am learning. It too has darkness and light. None of it is bad. All of it is a quest to feel, heal, learn and grow in the only true reality there is of infinite love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Moving Beyond Self Consciousness Into Authenticity

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

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By Jelelle Awen

While we were sipping wonderful margaritas and watching the sunset last night, we engaged in one of our meaningful conversations that happens almost every minute with us within our little community (woven in between having FUN!). I think I am still digesting it this morning and would like to share.

Sequoia has known me for almost twenty five years, we were previously married and divorced in 2001, and we co-raised a daughter together. For the last four years, I have been his facilitator and teacher and also, in many moments, we share a sacred friendship too. There is a lot of history there and he has known me through so many phases. With tears in his eyes, last night he offered that he is amazed at who I am now and who I am continuing to become.

He mentioned that he can feel the range that I can inhabit in the moment….from deep soul frequencies to joyful inner child to queen (and irritated control matriarch can still come through too!). And also that I don’t seem to have any self consciousness or self image when it comes to relating with others…not much ‘persona’ that I am putting on. I could feel his sincerity and love for me as he offered this and it touched me.

But, in another way, I couldn’t really get what he was seeing about me. This isn’t a deflection based in unworthiness. It has felt to me for awhile that we can’t really ‘see’ our most authentic self (or what we call our ‘SoulFullHeart Self’) because there is no self image related to it. It just IS US in our most unselfconscious expression.

Self consciousness comes from parts of us elevating us, positioning us, and doing ‘perception management’ strategies with others. These parts of us literally create versions of us to form fit in every environment and every situation. There can be many, many layers to this and it is quite craftily constructed, even in a small child it starts happening young!

After over ten years of work and negotiation with parts of myself who hold these frequencies, I feel that much of this self image has been deconstructed, let go of, felt, healed, moved beyond. So, in some ways, I cannot ‘see’ my most authentic self, yet I can certainly feel when and if love is transacting and if part of me is blocking it or not.

To be free from self consciousness is a wonderful gift and allows me to serve love so much more deeply to myself and others. I completely associate this result because of the process that I have engaged with through a previous path and also through SoulFullHeart to be with and know my subpersonalities. We offer that this state is called “SoulFullHeartenment” and isn’t an attainment, but more like something that just arises through the process of individuation, differentiation, and union with self, others, and the Divine.

If this stirs something in you and awakens a desire to experience life this way, we would be so honored to serve that in you. Please visit this page for more about what we offer: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok: Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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By Jelelle Awen

I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car. I am looking out the window, my head turned away from the chaos in the front seat. I am looking out the window but I am not seeing any of the landscape. The tears that slide down my cheeks are silent. I have learned to cry without sound from many years of practice. I cannot completely numb my reactions to the tension, the negativity, and the hate that fills this car, that staggers from him and crawls from her. It has sharp teeth, harsh words, energy that cuts to the bone.

Part of me tries to protect me. Put up a shield. Put up a barrier. Create a bubble of light space around the growing girl. Tries to turn off the tap on the tears that flow from the pain of feeling like I do not belong. The craziness of feeling like this is not my family, cannot be my real family, not my soul family, not my family of heart. So eventually the tears go deep in, get buried, and my other feelings as well. And the part of me that protects my heart breathes a sigh of relief as a possible crisis of self revelation is avoided.

It starts so early, our conditioning to suppress our feelings, our emotional reality, and what our actual reactions to situations are in the moment. Through this conditioning and the pain of not being able to be real, we have to develop aspects of us that can fit in with the non-feeling environment around us. It is a necessary self defense mechanism. It just seems to happen so naturally and organically.

The message of, ‘It’s NOT ok to NOT be ok” is so strong in our culture. The conditioning around not expressing our feelings starts so young when children are first told not to have tantrums or to cry. Tantrums feel to me like releasing the unfelt emotional energy of the parents and the surroundings. We tantrum and then we reach a stage where, to get and keep love in the form of approval, we develop parts of us who become very good at suppressing what we are feeling. And parts of us who become very good too at form fitting our environment to not draw attention to ourselves and our vulnerability.

I described a scene above that encapsulates so much about why my defenses developed the way that they did. In my process through SoulFullHeart and previous subpersonality process work that I have done, I have ‘gone back’ to these moments of extreme hurt and pain through the aspects of me who became stuck there.

I sat in the car with the part of me that holds hurt and I felt her tears with her. I became the loving adult, heart filled with support and permission to feel, that she didn’t have at the time. And this version of me, no longer needing to be quiet or suppress her tears, could lean into this adult version of me. She could be felt and the pain from this moments and other moments like this could heal. And, I could become more current to myself.

To be able to go into places like this painful scene with parts of me has needed to be negotiated with the loyal and protective part of me. This has happened through a growing sense of trust that I will be able to ‘handle it and hold it’ and that it is safe to release it and feel it. Over time and development of our authentic self (or what we call the ‘SoulFullHeart Self’) protective parts of us begin to feel that they can relax their strong protection of us which can come in many different forms and energies. Through conscious negotiation with them, we can open our heart up more and let others in more deeply, also sharing ourselves more vulnerably and authentically. This leads to more experience of love transaction inside of ourselves and with others.

Through the SoulFullHeart work, you reach a place where you no longer really want to be around people who or in many environments where you can’t BE authentically with your feelings or express them in the moment. Or, you choose to stay home or go to a secluded spot in the woods…..somewhere you can feel yourself. It becomes the ultimate priority over ‘fitting in’. We have created a place and space inside and then as expressed in our community where it is truly OK to NOT be OK.

Sessions with us are just a practice ground for this dedication to yourself, to feeling, to being not OK if that is what is real, to be with the parts of you that resist feeling and why, and to be supported by someone else for it. And, eventually, this regular practice moves into and influences your choices in every day life in a natural and organic way where you are desiring to be authentic with those you are in relationship with and in whatever soul purpose-based vocation you are serving love through.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

 

Premise 14: Non-codependent, monogamous romance offers growth and nourishment

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

premise-14Welcome to day 14 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’ Up for today is the ‘SoulFullHeart Romantic Union Premise’ and it promises good things. Please read my writings on the other premises here. 

We’re touring what we call the foundational premises that underly the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. None of it is absolute truth and all of it is ‘made up.’ And because it’s made up, we feel it’s really important to be clear about what we’ve made up, so you can decide if this path is for you or not.

But, may I ask, ‘What spiritual path or healing modality do you know of that isn’t made up?’ Well, they all are, aren’t they? However, many of them won’t admit it and take responsibility for their creation and instead hide behind some form of ‘God revealed this to us’ while denying their part in the interpretation and delivery of the message. SoulFullHeart is grounded in human perception, experience and trial and error, and that we feel is what makes it a healthy path.

Every consciousness awakening path or healing modality are like a parallel dimension to each other. Once you commit, when and while you commit, you enter that dimension for all that it has to offer, to the exclusion of the others to the degree you choose a particular path.

Many people have done this unconsciously and are now demanding the means to do it consciously, requiring transparency and accountability on the part of the paradigm or path they embrace, and from the people within participating in it, knowing the far reaching effects of their choice. In other words, they want the premises.

SoulFullHeart can best be described as an unique parallel dimension where how you experience life changes on a deep fundamental level. Not only does your experience of life change, but who is doing the experiencing of life undergoes many ongoing changes. Many of these changes can be likened to manageable, self loving and timely breakdowns where the way of life and process opens out into moments of sudden deep shifts or movements in the depths of your being.

One of the biggest areas this can open out is into sacred romantic union. Here is today’s premise.

“SoulFullHeart romantic union offers both a nourishing relational ground and a challenging crucible for growth through two people monogamously committed to ever deepening heart, soul, and body resonance by processing the relationship through the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.”

If there is one area of life that I particularly feel this ‘parallel dimension’ reality of SoulFullHeart, it’s in the totally unexplainable reality that I have with my beloved Jelelle Awen. But isn’t that what romance was meant to do, to leave us stuck for explanation?

It can be fun trying to explain, and at moments there are arising metaphors and clarities that find a mark, but mostly, it is an energetic frequency of heart, soul, and body relationality and resonance that ultimately defies attempts at description.

There’s a few things I can say about it though.

One is that when you make romantic relationship more about your growth than your comfort zone, that alone changes so much. It is in the rigours of romance where our deepest risks and needs for love surface. It is in this crucible that much of our deepest heart and soul growth occurs.

Another piece is that what your heart really wants and needs in terms of nourishment and the quality of that nourishment vulnerably increases as you deepen in romance. This is scary for us to increase our needs, rather than decrease them, without being ‘needy,’ as you grow.

Possibly the biggest challenge in romance is to let go of a partner who simply doesn’t serve your heart and soul growth, who isn’t enough for you. Holding out for what you really need and want takes deep courage and self love, as well as true love for the other you are saying no to.

We also feel that none of this goes anywhere unless it’s in monogamy. Until, you are ‘all in’, you simply are running away from love in one form or another, quite possibly claiming a whole bunch of toxicity as a justification, even spiritual unconditional love ideas to hold it together. You simply cannot know loves power and alchemy romantically by hedging your bets and spreading the risk.

A central piece in SoulFullHeart’s navigation in romantic bonds is feeling how differently each of our parts or subpersonalities relate to the relationship. Particularly crippling to our soul and heart growth is seeing yourself as one unified personality in the relationship. Most people accept some mask of relationality that is actually a blend and a neutering of two or more polarized energies inside of themselves. This can never lead to real intimacy, passion or the trust needed for deeper vulnerability. For more on this critical piece, please see our article on Subpersonalities here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheart-subpers…

Romance is a fire, and SoulFullHeart offers a fireplace for that fire with a definition of what real and healthy Sacred Union is. Without a measure of what healthy relationship looks and feels like, we are left to have anything but.

Thank you again for being on this premises tour. I welcome your inquiry if you would like to enter this parallel dimension deeper. Our sessions page is here and it’s the doorway into the more that we offer:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise Ten: Radical Self Love Comes From Embracing All Aspects Of Ourselves

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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This is day 10 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Today we approach the truly mysterious and magical, but I’m not sure I can do anything more than point you to it. It will be up to you and your soul….what you feel, what you sense if you feel drawn to open this one out for yourself and your selves.

Today is all about you. It’s the ‘Self to Self-Personhood Premise.’ And it goes like this:

“The SoulFullHeart process offers a growing sense of true, authentic, even radical self love, a self to self relationship that comes from embracing all aspects of ourselves from which our spiritual awakenings and explorations can arise from. This growth of the ‘personhood’ ground of our being is a critical piece that we feel has been missing from many sainthood and sagehood paths.”

There’s a new ‘hood’ in the hood and it’s called Personhood.

We’ve known the Sagehood (nondual) awakening paths (primarily in the East) of the awakening and enlightenment of the mental body. We’ve also known many Sainthood paths to awaken the spiritual body. But the missing hood is Personhood, the awakening of the emotional body and the heart chakra.

This hood changes everything. It’s absence has made for all manner of abuse, while its presence opens the door to finally holding our heart and soul growth explorations in a manner that truly serves us without needing to subscribe to more and more denial and devotee zeal to hold our ‘deal’ together.

Through getting to know parts of ourselves or subpersonalities and feeling what they are feeling while they are feeling it (i.e. in real time), we create a space for our parts to feel ‘felt.’ In the absence of our parts feeling felt, we, as a perceived single personality, are left holding all manner of unaddressed charges, complexes, reactions, and undigested traumas. Our life as we know it is actually one big ‘acting out’ to the degree our subpersonalities, as living beings and energies within us, are left unacknowledged, denied, and disowned.

This picture radically alters your life as you open more and more to getting to know, feel, and respond to the needs of your parts and it is truly magical. I discovered this work in a group I was previously a part of and my entire relationship to life shifted in a dramatic way and ongoing way.

With our parts left unaddressed, every spiritual practice and healing modality that we engage in is a compensation to significant degree to cover for the deep unmet needs in our personhood domain.

We are spiritual beings, yes, but we express and relate to spirituality through our current expression as a person…..a human being. Human beings FEEL. Human beings have different needs than spiritual beings. Denying your humanity will only serve to suppress what you actually chose as a spiritual being choosing to inhabit a human journey.

Many spiritualities, when you feel into them from this lens, are designed to get beyond your humanity out to where the good stuff is. Being human is seen as the problem. The prescriptions of what you need to do and apply are endless, all in the goal of attaining or becoming something more than human.

SoulFullHeart feels opposite to this in that the portal into all your innate and magical spiritual access is already inside you, but buried. It’s not buried underneath your humanity, but buried under your unaddressed humanity. Coming to this ground of discovering your subpersonalities is really the only healthy ground to explore any spirituality as a human being. Angels may do it differently, and you even may be an angel, but you are in a human experience and expression at the moment.

Thank god for personhood arriving in the hood. Again, I’d love to help you get started in this exploration path. It’s self validating and opens out as you go. I invite your contact. Let’s get started.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Premise 4: You Are Made Up Of Many Subpersonalities Doing Life As A Singular “I”

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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Today’s going to be a main course day and a look at an amazing parallel universe. Welcome to day four of the 21 Day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today’s premise is not only going to challenge traditional spiritualities and therapies, but a lot of modern ones as well. I say that up front in the hope that that draws you in rather than scares you off.

Eleven years ago now, I was at a place where I felt clearly done and bewildered with every spirituality I had ever encountered. I simply could not stomach the levels of denial and pretence that were inherent in the cultures I had been exposed to. This led to a deep search and ultimately to the creation of SoulFullHeart.

SoulFullHeart is a full meal and today’s premise takes us to the main course. I invite you to feel this premise deeply to feel if it is for you. All of the other premises are in support of today’s premise.

I’m really hungry to find those of you this resonates with and to help you cross over into this parallel universe. It’s simply too good to keep to myself, and I want the feeling of it expanding out into others hearts and lives. I feel clearly that what I’m sharing with you today is ahead of what any other spiritual and emotional healing practices have to offer. I know those words can sound superiorizing, but they are my truth. I would be dishonest to hide my conviction from you. Again, it is my hope that my claim excites you more than distances you.

However, I acknowledge that what I’m offering certainly won’t be welcomed by everyone and I feel that my outspoken clarity on what I feel SoulFullHeart is, does help people to sort out for themselves early on if they are drawn or not. I feel an urgency and I want to serve it. All that said, I’m really glad to have your interest, your inquiry, and your hearts desire finding its way. I sincerely hope you find my conviction about SoulFullHeart inviting rather than distancing. I deeply need and want others in my life.

Let’s dive into today’s premise.

Premise four is called the ‘Parts Reality Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Rather than just one singular “I” in charge of life, SoulFullHeart offers that we are made up of many parts or subpersonalities (both those in outed expression and those in shadow) formed primarily through undigested traumas that can be integrated and healed into an authentic, sacred human self called the SoulFullHeart Self.”

Jelelle and I have recently written a full article on this premise and I feel to refer you to that article for the complete teaching about the SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process here.

I will go on then to speak here in this post to my personal life change since embracing this premise.

Let me see if I can feel back to the ‘I’ that led my life 11 years ago and channel his voice from that time:

“I feel myself to be really well adjusted to life and way happier than most people. I fell myself engaged, growing and in many ways content. I look for the life lessons in my problems and welcome the change that even crisis brings. I’m a family man in a long-term committed and fulfilling relationship. People around me look up to me in many ways, and rightly so, I do have a lot to offer.”

That was how one part of me, who was a deep outed expression of my life, saw and related to my life.

Now, let me see if I can channel the voice of another very different part of me also present at the same time and feel the contrast. This voice was way more subconscious and was only found through keen desire and choice, and the aid of a subpersonality facilitator and a process.

“Life totally sucks. There is no reason to live. Nothing ever works out. I hate God for putting me through this. It just fucking hurts like hell when I feel it, and then all there is, is to feel it some more. Life is so boring. People are so uninteresting, but then who am I to talk. I just want to fucking end this shit.”

What a surprise it was to find both of these voices were true inside of me, and the relationship they had to one another. One was very much outed and one was very much suppressed, but they were in a deep dance with one another, with no other me to show up for either of them to shift or mediate their realities.

When I got around more conscious people, my positive and outed personality leading my life had a tinny ring to it and was off-putting to them as inauthentic. When I hung around people who felt less conscious, this version of myself leading my ‘me show’ was well liked and even applauded.

It wasn’t actually until a few years prior to this time in my life that I had any conscious feeling of depression or grief in my life. I related respectfully to others who were depressed, but simply had no reference point for it in my awareness. I looked into some natural medication and went to a few counselling sessions, but mostly I was helped and relieved by taking it easier on myself, not hiding what I was going through, even finding some deep tears over an un-grieved loss of a romance from a relationship 19 years prior. “Okay, survived that pretty well, I’d say, I even feel more opened out to life, to smell the roses so to speak,” was again the voice of this part of me doing life as me.

That, however, did not touch what was really buried inside of me inside of my subconscious and in the shadow of my soul. In actuality, it served to bury it further. The ‘I’ leading my personality expression in life was a deeply strategic energy, seeking to gain what it knew as love and approval, and avoid rejection. This version of me was very busy doing everything it could to keep other subconscious parts of me from derailing the whole deal he had worked so hard to establish and maintain.

I know your story specifics are different than mine, but my truth is that the polarities inside of you are very, very similar.

I went on in my process to become deeply familiar with parts of myself……one, two, or even three parts at a time who held deep feelings of hurt, anxiety, rage, depression, control and shame, and then deeper to find deep core unworthiness and deep core disconnect. Maybe me naming these tones right now itself produces rumble in you calling you from your own vast, but unexplored being.

Given this dynamic, that all of us are made up of many subpersonalities, and each one of them is in a kind of suffering of their own, affecting every relationship to everything in your life….what could be of any more value than finding healing for each of them?
Left with our parts unexplored and unhealed, how much truly real and authentic expression are we even capable of? What is the tone of the love we seek and the love we give? What are the relational dynamics governing our romantic bonds, our relationship with our careers, with what we relate to as the divine, or God. The questing questions run deep.

You are in essence an authentic self, as you’ve seen and felt tastes and glimpses of in when you feel most like ‘yourself’ or ‘at your best’. But this authentic self, or what we call the SoulFullHeart Self, remains largely un-manifest in daily life and relationship transaction to the degree that parts of you remain in unadjusted suffering, whether in their dungeons or ivory towers. It’s all suffering.

SoulFullHeart offers a grounded way to support you to undertake an ongoing healing journey into this community of yourself and that then extends into a like-minded conscious community of others sharing the same path.

It’s hard to put into words the difference I feel inside of myself since I began the parts process path over a decade ago. I sometimes use the words that ‘you become in many ways unrecognizable to yourself’ as you deconstruct the many strategies held by parts of you to keep life safe. That feels very true to me today, and it never stops. You see, parts of me keeping life safe also closed me off from love in deep energetic gravitational pulls to keep the suffering in place. Parts of me were using suffering to stay stuck.

I’m gonna pause here for today and invite your questions. This is a lot to digest. If you’d like, I welcome your PM, or your questions in the comments below. And, again, this article on our website is very helpful for providing more teaching about the parts process.

And here are Jelelle’s, who is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart, comments about parts work:

Oh, wow, what can I say about parts or subpersonality healing? Between what you offer of your own experience, Raphael, and our article, a lot of ground is covered. The main feeling I have in the moment is complete and utter gratitude for having this tool brought to me in my life at a time, over 11 years ago, when so needed it. I KNOW that I would not be experiencing life in the tones of joy, magic, love, intimacy etc. that I do without it. The amazing thing is how natural it has been for me to identify voices and energies and tones in myself and then create a relationship with them.

And, in my experience, it is easy and natural for most people. I like to say that I have seen an eight year old identify parts of themselves and an 80 year old with the same level of ease….it is beyond age, beyond cultures and seems to be a universally human development that has been offered in psychology to some degree for 100 years. Seeing and using it as also a tool in spiritual awakening and enlightenment is the newer, cutting edge aspect, but then everything was ‘new’ and ‘cutting edge’ once!

Just this morning, I was meeting with a facilitant, feeling a new part of her emerging (that we call the Daemon or soul guardian), and once again, even all these years later after doing this work for years and serving others in it for years, I was struck anew by the absolute magic of it as she got to feel something in herself that she had NEVER known was there yet it was so TRUE to who she is at the same time. The access to your inner world, both in the heart and soul domains, that you get is so immediate and effective..without drugs, without hypnosis….ok, this brings up a lot of passion in me. I feel like it is THE missing piece in so many ways and once people get a taste of it, they usually feel the same way.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process Video Part One

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

New video with Raphael and Jelelle Awen, co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of life, sharing about the awakening process that they offer and specifically how they work with subpersonalities, the ‘inner family’ to differentiate our personas or false self to arise into our authentic self or Divine self….part one! You can watch other videos on the SoulFullHeart Experience Channel.