Gabriel Heartman

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

Published on February 6, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

Published on February 1, 2019February 8, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same. There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

Bridging Polarity In Service Of Love

Published on January 26, 2019February 1, 2019 by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

We exist in a polarized dimension. It is not our essence to be fragmented into this and that, yet here we are. It was Divine choice and will to do so. To be so. When we lost the remembrance of that, it was like a babe being lost in the woods coming out of a dream. We saw and felt separateness in our most primal state. So we constructed, suppressed, and experimented with power in order to shore up the fear of that existential and sacred wound.

Timelines and worlds have been created and destroyed in this grand game of hide-and-seek. Seems almost a cruel joke on some level, yet the pain and suffering were the risks inherent in this desire to truly know and experience Love. The Divine has never been complacent to that fact in my heartfelt opinion.

So then what is the purpose of this trauma? This seemingly tragic consequence of the human condition. For those that have faced it heart-on, there is an awareness of this power of Love that goes beyond words and takes you into a dimension of reverence, strength, and awe that was unknown in Its singular state.

We are all a part of that Grand Choice if you truly believe we are a part of this Grand Design. The two cannot be separate, paradoxically enough. So in this way, we have a huge part in this experiment of experience. We feel. We ache. We cry. We scream. We choose. We surrender.

We become aware of this polarity inside as aspects and parts and we build bridges between them. We become aware of their stories, their experiences, their beliefs. From the wounded child/teenager to the fallen kings and queens of our multidimensional timelines. You are this kaleidoscopic tapestry of being that is the seed and vessel of the Cosmos. You are the lightship of leadership that can take us into the New.

This comes with a great price to parts of us that are seeking safety and/or control. There is pain to feel and responsibility to assume, but that is what leads to the greatest and deepest gift that lives within each of us. The power to feel and spread Love as far as the Soul can see.

*****

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Photo by Victorien Ameline on Unsplash

Aligning To Presence And Joy Through Feeling

Published on January 23, 2019January 27, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Where would you rather be today? What would you rather feel today?

If you have a ready answer then you may not be in alignment with Presence and Joy. I don’t think many, if any of us, can honestly say they are in that space all the time. It is like an airplane that is on course to its destination is never on a straight line path. It needs to self-correct and readjust. These questions are just reminders to be conscious of what we really want and need in any given moment.

So many things bring us out of this sweet spot of Presence and Joy that seem nearly impossible to parts of us that can ever change. A physical condition, a social relationship, a job, financial concerns, or emotional trauma. These are the things that can feel like an infinite wall to climb, to conquer, or to master. Even using those words put you in a power struggle with the only thing that can move it….deep and honest feeling.

We are hard-wired for Presence and Joy, yet we have the software to take us out of it. Maybe it is our freeware as it is our Free Will. We do choose this life, these circumstances. These choices are a response to so much experience both this and other lives. You are not a simple switch, but a powerful tapestry of wounding and reaction. Whether expressed or suppressed. These woundings are your story and your script if you allow them to continue.

The healing of them is not a simple shift of perspective but a courageous dive into the deep end of your heart and soul. The process of healing leads you to more Presence and more Joy as these energies inside of you get their time to be felt, held, and healed with support. This has been a daily process for me over the last six years that continue to offer the fruit of this divine experience. I am never totally in that space all the time. I am progressing toward More. It is in that progress that I continue to feel what it is I need to feel as it arises in my heart.

That is the hallmark of transformation and ascension. Claim it and courageously walk it out. I am here to walk with you if you need it.

*****

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A Reflection Of Me

Published on January 22, 2019January 27, 2019 by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Birthdays are interesting days. Parts of us have interesting reactions to them. They want to run, hide, enjoy and celebrate. From an essential point of view, every day is a birthing day. We get to arise new into our BEing and make a mark onto the world and into ourselves. We can create, learn, and grow from all our experiences and relationships.

Yet, on THIS day, third dimensionally speaking, we began a quest and a journey where we chose to forget this essential remembrance in order to find our Selves again. We demarcate a point in spacetime to reflect, appreciate, and honor life itself. For me, it is letting in time to love myself and this inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects that are a part of this healing and leading quest that I have chosen. It is also about giving thanks to those that have been an intimate and integral part of it….my beloved soul family and those that have been a part of this wild ride of ascension.

Today I am honored to be in a sacred union romance with Kalayna Colibri, who has been a beacon for my soul and heart for six years now even when we were just “friends”. She is the Queen to my King and for whom I am madly in love with. She has never ceased to call to my bigness as well as seeking her own. A part of me has called her the one he never saw coming, but somehow I knew different.

I have known Jelelle Awen for almost 30 years now, which seems to span lifetimes and dimensions. She is the one that showed me life when parts of me only saw suffering. I have died and come back to life many times from her vision and remembrance of who I am when I was too confused to do the same for myself. She is a mirror of my bigness and that frankly scares the shadow out of me! A true gift to me every single year.

In this quest of the Sacred Masculine, there has been one man by my side in this feminine offering. Raphael Awen has been a template of a father, brother, teacher, mentor, guide, and King. He has gone deep into all relationship with a courageous vulnerability that stirs the heart and defies what we as men are used to seeing from the collective and for that, I am forever changed.

My daughter, Raianna Shai, has shown me that Joy is the natural location of Soul. Her unique soul, ever since she was a wee one, has always been on a course to bring this Joy to others in the world, even when that joy has been met by heartache and challenge. She is far more than a daughter, but a teacher and a reminder of what our essence truly IS.

And then there is all of those that have been a part of this experiment and journey called SoulFullHeart. The courageous hearts and souls that have gone into the Deep and continue to do so. You are inspiring and amazing and I am honored to have you all a part of my life. I have much gratitude for all the people that have been followed my words and been touched by them. Your reflection and letting in is a daily gift to me as well as a joy and honor.

So on this day of a personal Earth birthing, I celebrate you and me together. Now let’s go eat cake on our behalf!!!

Love to you all and thank you again for all you ARE.

*****

A Reflection Of You

Published on January 21, 2019January 27, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Taking in the lunar eclipse last night I could feel its magic, its uniqueness, and its significance. These are rare occurrences in the span of our lives and the way we take them in says a lot about how we take in ourselves. Do we see ourselves as magical, unique, and significant? There is this awe and wonder that come up inside the collective as these celestial events happen. Many of us take the time to really feel what is being offered to us at this time and we integrate that into our next going on places.

It is easy for us then the next day to go back into the “normalcy” of our daily lives and that feeling of awe and wonder go back into their subterranean holding cells for the next reflection of our grandeur to come around and be reflected to us…maybe in the next 75 years.

But what if you could take that with you? What if that awe and wonder were a daily occurrence and not just predicated on external circumstances? That to me feels like the birthing of a new relationship to ourselves and each other. When you see yourself in the mirror this morning, do you see and feel the beauty, the awesome, and the divine within you? If you don’t, and this holds true for almost all of us to some degree or another, then there is your own eclipse happening inside. It is a sacred eclipse.

This is the part or parts of you that are seeking your attention and love so that they, and you, can start to let in more of this perfection and glory that you really Are. It is the protected places, the hurt places, the unworthy places that cast a shadow of great importance. They are the celestial bodies of your inner galaxy. They are your childhood, your growing years, your relationships, and the karmic timelines of your Metasoul. They are all coming around to be seen and felt once more as a gift and not a burden.

When these start to heal in the warmth or your courageous and compassionate heart, you begin to see that glory and grandeur again. The true you behind the wounded you. Yeah, there you are…power-full, meaning-full, beauty-full.

*****

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Ascension Energies Amplify And Support Inner Masculine Healing

Published on January 18, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

This inner quest continues. The quest of the masculine to get to know itself. I use the pronoun “it” to denote an energy rather than a gender. This quest is fueled by curiosity and desire. Not a need to overcome, master, or fix. It wants to feel its power, its strength, and courage. It also knows there is the shadow to look at in response to that.

Recently there has been a mainstream appeal to what is being labeled as “traditional” or “toxic” masculinity and its effect on society. This is receiving praise as much as it is receiving ire. There is a masculine voice within some men that defends against a notion it is responsible for the ills of the world. It feels attacked and judged for the actions of certain individuals.

I can feel where this is true coming from a particular perspective, from this part I should say. As we are becoming more aware of what has been happening in the darkest parts of our collective, there is a rumbling that is occurring. There is a network of voices that are coming out to join forces against a very institutional, subtle, and not so subtle, part of our society. The wounded masculine is getting a light shined on it and it is very uncomfortable.

The reactions can come as far as saying that there is a war on men and that boys are going to be turned into weak and feckless adults. When I hear that all I can feel is this masculine’s judgment toward the feminine. Yes, I can see where boys and men are not inhabiting their power and are in need of heart-open initiation that offers them power WITH the feminine and not OVER the feminine. No, we are not all bad guys, but we have unconscious habits and perspectives that do need authentic and curious exploration if we are going to evolve as a society.

This rush to defense, to me, signifies a soul wound that is in deep protection. I think there is a legitimate caution to not create a generalization that takes us in some polarized reaction. I am not “one of those guys”, but I do know as part of the collective male/masculine psyche I do have things to feel into and uncover within myself. That is the next level for all of us to consider when we talk about ascension and healing. It is not a blame game, but a deep and serious look at what is at play underneath our hoods. This is equally true for women.

My desire is to create a healthy dialogue and personal invitation to what this exploration may reveal about ourselves and our nature as men. It is to take us into a new relationship with our masculinity AND our feminity. This is what I feel we are being offered by Love in all Its energy fluxes and activations. This is the year of the arising sacred masculine within all of us.

*****

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The Sanity Of Your INsanity

Published on January 16, 2019January 23, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality. What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane. Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”. In our fear-based consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.

These energies have been called our inner Demons. They have felt like a haunting to some. An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have been medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction. Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can. I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels. They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.

You are not crazy. You are becoming very sane. You are being gifted with your soul’s calling and the messengers of Love. You can choose what messages to take in and when, for you are the leader in this new world you will have created for yourself when you have taken the first step to go in and feel all the parts of you that have a voice, and that need you.

*****

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When You Don’t Want To Go ‘There’, ‘There’ Is Where You Need To Go

Published on January 15, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

When you don’t want to go ‘there’, ‘there’ is where you need to go.

There are times when you can feel that resistance inside. You could be talking with a friend, a loved one, or a healer, and the words “I don’t want to go there” or “I am not ready to go there” come streaming out. The question arises….where is the ‘there’ you don’t want to go to?

In my own process and in my sessions with others, there have been these very poignant moments. The ‘There’ is like a precipice. A cliff that looks down into what appears to be an abyss. The ‘There’ is a very sacred yet scary place. It represents a Pandora’s Box of so much pain and fear. The Higher Self brings us to these places as It knows that there is healing in those places. It lives on the other side of the other side.

The ‘There’ is different for every one of us in content. A relationship. An ownership. A responsibility. A choice. A feeling. An acceptance. A reflection. But what is the same is the resistance. It is so understandable and reasonable. “Who in their right mind would jump into that abyss?” That is the question of our protection.

The answer to that lies in our desire to really move into a new felt reality for ourselves. One where the fear is met with the courage of curiosity and the trust that Love is what holds It all together. The vision of a new way of seeing yourself and what you could create in your life that is a reflection of all the abundance of goodness that lies at the core of the fear and pain.

So when the time is ripe, you will no longer say that you can’t go there, but that ‘There’ is where you need to go bringing the resistance with you in love instead of being bound and defined by it.

*****

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Each Moment As An Invitation To Self-Love

Published on January 8, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Each moment is an invitation to love yourself in a way that is beyond what a part of you has ever believed was possible or acceptable. The courage to get real with yourself is what leads to vulnerable choice points. The kinds that change the trajectory of your life to what this part of you ever felt worthy of.

It is the getting to the brass tacks of what we truly feel inside that offers us our next steps IF we choose to feel the fear, doubt, and impossibilities that undergirds each one. The trust that is needed is found in space between you and this fear of getting harmed on the other side.

Get to know and feel all your truths, even as they contradict themselves. Which ones are based in fear and which ones in love? There is really no confusion other than what we choose to be afraid of feeling. Feel that and there is only action on the other side. No longer stasis. Hurt may be a part of the equation but you are no longer the same. You are alive and living. You are becoming aware how much you missed yourself.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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It is the getting to the brass tacks of what we truly feel inside that offers us our next steps IF we choose to feel the fear, doubt, and impossibilities that undergirds each one. The trust that is needed is found in space between you and this fear of getting harmed on the other side.

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